grifter´s downfall

Sarah Palin Reduced To Hosting Dinners At Disneyworld

Damaged-goods dingbat Sarah Palin is so unpopular and forgotten these days that only Florida’s state GOP wants her around, at a trade-show rubber-chicken dinner, at Disneyworld. Palin has apparently accepted an offer to jabber for a few minutes in exchange for a platter of convention food and a bag of soiled dollar bills. But she’s not even the Star Attraction! According to the event’s flyer, printed out in Microsoft Word by a temp employee, evil cue-ball Rick Scott and one of his fake minions (“chairman Lenny Curry,” sure) are the actual headliners.


“This gala dinner comes just a year before one of the most important elections in Florida and the nation’s history,” said RPOF Chairman Lenny Curry. “Having a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance is yet again proof of the crucial role Florida will play as the year unfolds. We are so grateful that Governor Palin has accepted our invitation.”

“So grateful,” meaning, “Herman Cain wanted two hundred dollars.” [Tampa Bay]

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    1. Not_So_Much

      Certainly not Bristol — that pair of enormous, galumphing gams could carry the whole snowbilly family.

        1. Not_So_Much

          This specific pair of Galumphing Gams has opened for lots of guys. I have no proof that Bocephus was not among them.

          1. LowProfileinGA

            Please permit me to correct a small error in spelling:
            Bucephalus not Bocephus.

            You're welcome.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Well, no one's ever accused me of fathering their illegitimate child, but after 30+ year of spraying my seed around the planet, I suppose there could be a couple-three out there. You're not half-Filipino, are you? With a heavy beard and an unnatural thirst for booze?

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            No, not half-Pinoy, but definitely possessed of an unnatural thirst for booze, which is ludicrous given that no one in my family all the way back seventeen generations ever touched the stuff. I'll attribute it to mischance, then.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Only somewhat, widestance. The knee's titanium. I'm resisting having the Other Knee replaced, since the nerves never quite grow back right, making your reflexes sort of iffy. This means you fall on your ass more often, something I finally outgrew after a drunken yoof only to find my old age becoming equally undignified, feh.

          And how's by you, guero?

          1. PristinePantalones

            ZOMG! I'm so sorry to hear that! He's all better, I hope? Or recovering in your loving arms? What a fucking life. Chicken soup with lots of ginger and hot ginger tea with honey. Nothing like ginger for getting rid of congestion, said my grandmother, and she finally popped her clogs at age 96, so I figure she knew what she was talking about.

  1. memzilla

    "…yet again proof of the crucial role Florida will play as the year unfolds."

    There's still time to breed enough alligators to chew "America's Wang" off from the mainland, and let the whole thing slide towards Bermuda.

    1. finallyhappy

      Even when they don't quit- I haven't seen "governor" used as the title for any number of former governors who completed their terms.

      1. comrad_darkness

        Well, you sometimes see "Former Governor Joe Blow". But with Sarah, my suspicion is her clueless minions think she still is governor.

        1. Rotundo_

          The signs for that would be a real hoot, "You must be this girthy and lengthy to ride Dumbo" I wonder if they would have a photo op like spash mountain to go with it (Picture of purple faced 300 pounder slamming away at Grifter's behind with one hand on the small of her back and one giving a big thumbs up to the guy in the Goofy suit with the camera)

  2. io9k9s

    yes florida that is just the type of mega star power that proves to the nation you are not to be laughed off as a mickey mouse state

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      Whichever way you slice it or dice it, it is and will always remain a fuckin' swamp, peopled by fat, old, burmese pythons, crocs, 'gators and republicans

  3. SayItWithWookies

    “Having a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance is yet again proof that Florida is meandering through history without purpose or direction, listening to the incoherent advice of simpleminded hacks and grabbing at anything shiny by the side of the road in a vain attempt to extract meaning from it."

  4. SorosBot

    The other news is that odious Rick Scott is so unpopular he can't get anyone with actual stature and importance to support him, the best he can do is the half-term has-been.

  5. Barb

    What's the difference between a Hockey Mom and Goofy's wife? There is no difference, they are both fucking Goofy.

    1. SorosBot

      What's the difference between a Hockey Mom and Pluto? Both were once classified as being much more important than they are.

      1. Barb

        "Sarah Palin Reduced To Hosting Dinners At Disneyworld" Her next move? Serving dinners at Disneyworld.

      2. Nostrildamus

        What's the difference between a Hockey Mom and Pluto?

        1. A dog will eventually stop whining.

        2. Well they're both dense and frigid, but unfortunately Pluto's farther away.

        3. The planet has a higher IQ.

      1. YasserArraFeck

        The difference is, I like to bury myself in a good book sometimes. Bristle's…."book"….not so much (although it's probably the only "book" Levi ever buried his head in)

    1. yrbmegr

      Let's send a few boxes of her book to the troops in Afghanistan. I hear they appreciate (the BTU content of) that kind of reading material over there.

  6. DashboardBuddha

    I won't be happy until the headline reads, "Palin hired has new greeter at Wasilla WalMart".

    Shortly to be followed by, "Former AK Governor arrested at area WalMart for solicitation"

      1. DashboardBuddha

        Could be…could be. Sarah still reminds me of the tired old pros who walked up an down in front of my employer's shop on Nebraska Ave in Tampa.

  7. prommie

    Next stop, she'll do a "round-the- world" for you for $250. You are gonna want to catch her in the early part of this phase of her career, though. For a grand, you could probably get a three-way with her and Bristol.

    1. HarryButtle

      I might do Bristol for a grand, but if I gotta do Bible Spice, too, I'm gonna hold out for at least five figures.

    1. GOPCrusher

      True story.
      Knew a couple that made a trip to the Bakker's Xtian Amusement Park. When they went inside the theatre to watch the taping of 700 Club, the ushers locked the doors and Jim Bakker came out on stage and told the audience that the doors would not be unlocked until they had collected 50,000 dollars from the audience. Every time the collection plates where returned to the front, the take was counted and this continued for four long hours until the 50,000 was raised.
      Once the doors were unlocked, the majority of the people went back to their hotel rooms, packed their stuff and bee lined out of the parking lot.

      1. comrad_darkness

        That story scared the crap out of me. I think I'll use it this Holloween when it's my turn to share something seasonally appropriate. Hope you don't mind.

  8. SexySmurf

    They needed someone who would make Rick Scott look competent and likable in comparison. They went with the obvious choice.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      If the planners are smart, they'll wait until the end of the event to hand out the gift bags.

    2. Negropolis

      What a dilemna. On one hand, she's a grifter, and a grifter never leaves before procuring the full benefit of the dinner (i.e. dessert). On the other hand, she's a quitter.

      To grift or not to grift. That is the question.

    1. prommie

      No. No, they haven't. I still want to personally hunt down and strangle each one that voted for Nader in 2000.

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            And then there was the Backstabbing of the Lieberman. Eight years as all our pensions, investments, savings, and homes swirled around the terlet, and a codpiece-sporting dickbrain shit all over what was left.

    1. prommie

      I once saw Pete sitting all by himself in the memorabilia store in the Forum Shops in Vegas, all by himself. I mean, just all completely all by himself, ignored by one and all, even the store employees. I sure do hope thats how she ends up.

  9. owhatever

    Dear Diary: Griftin' around the Flodrida today, pickin' up some easy cash and lookin' for that fountain of youth that some ole Mexican discovered. Wisht I coulda shot me a couple a them Ohio tigers from my bus. Also.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    Sarah's next gig is going to be Master of Ceremonies, introducing REO Speedwagon and Cheap Trick to the crowd at the South Dakota State Fair in Pierre next spring.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      They're still around? *wiki* My god, they are. And touring as described!
      My first concert in the USA was Foghat, with Black Oak Arkansas, plus Ruby Starr and Grey Ghost (BOA knock-off). You'd think Slow Ride would give them enough royalties to retire…

    2. tessiee

      "Maybe Foghat."

      "Put your one hay-und on a rock,
      put your other hay-und on a roll,
      And say Hallelujah!"

  11. Blueb4sunrise

    Palin footnote…..according to his wiki…

    [Glen] Rice has taken up MMA fight promotion as owner and head of G-Force Fights, based out of Miami, Florida.

  12. Rotundo_

    Devolving her way down to the rotary chicken dinner circuit and finally at the end, puppet shows at the local church or nursing home. The career plummet is getting steeper, before that last gentle glide into complete obscurity. Bon Voyage Snowbilly! Happy Landings!

  13. lulzmonger

    There's even a concession!

    Your photo with Sarah Palin = $100

    Your photo WITHOUT Sarah Palin = $250

  14. DaRooster

    They have Lenny Curry… but where's Moe… and Shemp? Forget about that Curly Joe guy though… he was weird.

  15. Guppy06

    Rick, Sarah…

    Walt Disney World and The Villages are not the same thing. I realize that it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes.

  16. ttommyunger

    Rick Scott and Sarah Palin. The former has too much money to ever land in jail in spite of his criminality, the former is also home free: seems she can't even get arrested nowadays. Regardless, great pairing.

  17. Poindexter718

    I never noticed the Bespectacled Colostomy Bag is holding a newspaper in that poolside foto. You don't suppose….?
    Nah. Prolly just for the chicken bones.

  18. BarackMyWorld

    "…a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance…"

    Where I'm from, that's called sarcasm.

  19. Chet Kincaid

    “ 'This gala dinner comes just a year before one of the most important elections in Florida and the nation’s history,' said RPOF Chairman Lenny Curry. 'Having a Republican leader of Governor Palin’s stature and importance is yet again proof of the crucial role Florida will play as the year unfolds. We are so grateful that Governor Palin has accepted our invitation.' "

    Good Lord, I need a 6-pack of paper towels to clean up the sarcasm dripping from that.

  20. OneDollarJuana

    Actually, this is wholly appropriate, because Walt Disney, although fun for kids, was pretty right-wing.

  21. prommie

    Its time for the Spinal Tap crew to do a mocumentary based on the Snowbilly Grifter, her career arc is too much resembling Spinal Tap right now, this gig being the equivalent of the Spinal Tap gig at the Air Force base. They would kill, just kill, with this stuff. Think Anna Faris as Palin (Tina Fey is just not going to have the range for this schizo-beast, she only plays herself). For Tawd, I see Kevin Spacy. Just trust me.

  22. BornInATrailer

    She's gonna be pissed when she goes to Animal Kingdom and Jesus isn't riding the carnosaur.

  23. hagajim

    “This gala dinner comes just a year before one just in time for the Alaskan grift-quitter to cancel at the last minute." – Fixed.

    1. berkeleyfarm

      I felt it out in my office in Benicia. Got a GOOD shake from the aftershock when I finally got home. Will be sleeping with keys in pocket tonight!

    2. Pristine_ODummy

      You guys! It was a lousy 3.9! Time was when people didn't even bother complaining until it hit, like, a 5!

      Although I'm glad I put earthquake bracing on the bookshelves by the bed — all kinds of stuff went flying everywhere, but the really heavy books stayed safely ABOVE our heads, not ON them. Thankyewjeebus.

  24. user-of-owls

    RPOF? Rpof? Was he the guy between Yuri Andropov and Constantin Chernenko in the USSR's Late Post-Classical Era?

  25. Ducksworthy

    Scott has outgrifted Palin many times over. Of course, to be fair, she hasn't tried Medicare fraud yet.

  26. comrad_darkness

    You know, I knew this day would come and I was looking forward to it, dearly. But now that it's arrived, if just feels like pulling out a 1 week old festering splinter: a kind of eye-watering relief that still holds a ghostly agony of memory.

  27. DemonicRage

    Her fame may have been fleeting, but at the Republican convention when she was nominated, when she came out and sneered, "The difference between a community organizer and myself as Mayor of Wasallah is that I had some respnsibilities," she set the tone for the next four years. Ever since that moment, a certain magical Unicorn has gotten no respect whatsoever. So say whatever you want about her, she set it all into motion with her jr. high school mean girl sarcasm.

    1. AKHottie

      "respnsibilities"? Yep, that's our endtimes queen! Never a word she didn't misspell or misunderstand.

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