FLOTUS FILES  9:21 pm October 20, 2011

Michelle Obama Takes Break From Bicep Curls to Learn Twitter (VIDEO)

by Blair Burke

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Your regular installment of the FLOTUS Files was postponed this week, as your FLOTUS correspondent was kidnapped and is currently being held hostage in socialist/communist/generally terrible France, which is somehow Michelle Obama’s favorite and least favorite place of all time, favorite because of all the fanciness, and least favorite because of the time everyone ate cake, or something! We never really know what to expect from our FLOTUS, because she is full of surprises. This week, for example, she decided to forgo physical activity to sit at a computer and learn to “tweet,” a thing she maybe found out about from her husband, who sometimes indulges in tweeting.

Here is a video of our Michelle, submitting to peer pressure and going on the Twitter. She is probably just doing it to better protect her children, since she has heard about so many recent, local incidents of people flashing their junk and talking about whores, on this Twitter device.

A first tweet is a special experience shared between a First Lady and her staff. It must include references to military families or childhood obesity (direct tweets to obese children with cute hashtags about laziness are a plus!) and conclude with sign language applause. Well done, FLOTUS, well done. [YouTube]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Barb October 20, 2011 at 9:24 pm

I hope you are enjoying France! Thank them for helping to nail Gadhafi, because Barry had nothing to do with it, according to the GOPhers.

Plowmon October 20, 2011 at 9:30 pm

"It was some rag-head with an AK that got him!!" What a shame our intervention in Iraq didn't run along similar lines…

johnnyzhivago October 21, 2011 at 8:43 am

McCain was on the today show and basically blamed Obama for the Libyan rebels having 30000 wounded.

Callyson October 20, 2011 at 9:30 pm

From joiningforces.gov
"The spirit of service and selflessness that is seen in military communities across our country represents what is best about America, and as a Nation we owe our brave service members and their families more than gratitude – we owe them the support they have earned. Joining Forces will ask all Americans to take action, because each of us has a role to play in reconnecting with military families in our communities." — First Lady Michelle Obama.
FLOTUS better do a follow – up tweet: "Sending BillO's books to Afghanistan does not count."

HistoriCat October 21, 2011 at 12:56 am

It's getting cold in Afghanistan at this time of year – a nice fire might be just the thing to warm the troops and keep spirits up.

noodlesalad October 20, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Not only is Michelle the hottest first lady evah, she's the first who could definitely kick the ass of every single person running against her husband. #justsayin #SuperFLOTUS

Crank_Tango October 20, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Hmm yeah she has some guns and all but I don't think she is remotely hot. Maybe I just haven't seen enough pics of her–

Now Jackie O…

Negropolis October 20, 2011 at 11:08 pm

LOL! Well played, my friend; well played.

Pristine_ODummy October 21, 2011 at 2:20 am

HotTEST! Srs crushage. And beautiful and brilliant, too.

MozakiBlocks October 21, 2011 at 9:08 am

I would pay good money (not that I have any) to watch her kick Rick Perry where it hurts.

AlterNewt October 20, 2011 at 9:37 pm


Negropolis October 20, 2011 at 11:09 pm


snackypants October 21, 2011 at 1:10 am

I see what you did there!

KobayashiMaru October 20, 2011 at 9:37 pm

The little "mo" at the end is pretty adorable.

GuanoFaucet October 20, 2011 at 9:38 pm

#FirstLadyRocks #IStillFuckingHateTwitterThough

mourningnmerica October 20, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Hopey is gettin' some tonight. Michelle calls it Drone Sex. You get up real close, without a sound, then… boom.

JustPixelz October 20, 2011 at 9:43 pm

MO: He's not good enuf 4 U.

Jukesgrrl October 20, 2011 at 9:43 pm

That sweater looks suspiciously like cashmere. The Tea Party will call NeimanMarcusLibel in 3, 2, 1 …

elfgoldsackring October 20, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Possibly redeemed herself with them through teh fugly colour combo, though?

finallyhappy October 20, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Just tell them it is goat hair.

MilwaukeeKent October 20, 2011 at 11:52 pm

"It was plain Republican fur coat…"

Dok-cupy Everything October 20, 2011 at 11:53 pm

Occupy Wall Street Sympathizer Michelle Obama Wears Sweater Fit For Royalty!!!!!

simplyblue7 October 20, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Further proof of Apple's monopoly!

ProgressiveInga October 20, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Needs moar burpees!!!

Nostrildamus October 21, 2011 at 1:16 am

Calling Chris Christie..

snackypants October 21, 2011 at 2:00 am

I want to do burpees with the FLOTUS. Please, now.

Pragmatist2 October 20, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I thought tweeting was limited to white suburban teenagers.

Negropolis October 20, 2011 at 11:12 pm

I guess you've never seen a Center City Philly flash mob, then. lol


Mumbletypeg October 20, 2011 at 10:12 pm

and conclude with sign language applause

Next stop: Occupy Wall Street, General Assembly! Where clapping is superceded by 'spirit fingers'… or something, right?

user-of-owls October 20, 2011 at 10:19 pm

I feel kinda dirty watching her do it for the first time.

Sharkey October 21, 2011 at 12:08 am

Yeah, she really wasn't that into it. It was awesome for me though.

RadioOcupados October 20, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Freedom FLOTUS.

ColonelDoctor October 20, 2011 at 10:31 pm

How cute (fantastic, sexy, smart, resilient) is she?

Pristine_ODummy October 21, 2011 at 2:23 am

Cute enough for me to be permanently hooked.

BarackMyWorld October 20, 2011 at 10:43 pm
DahBoner October 20, 2011 at 10:47 pm

This is almost as adorable as the baby trying to press the pages of a magazine like a iPad…

FlownOver October 20, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Cindy McCain would be learning drugstore.com.

SorosBot October 20, 2011 at 10:52 pm

No, Michelle, don't give in to the latest pointless fad! Seriously, is there any point to this stupid twitter thingy? Or am I just a grouchy old man?

Also, France is great and hope you have a good time there. There's too much to see in one visit in Paris alone. The wine is amazing; there are tons of varieties of pink wines, unlike the just Rose and mostly cheap shit, and that's what everyone seems to drink.

Negropolis October 20, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Well the folks in Iran's Green Revolution sure seemed to appreciate it.

LiveToServeYa October 21, 2011 at 9:00 am

Yes. Twitter even seduced Wonkette. Remember it was 'Famous. On Twitter' or whatever, then it was all CLICK THIS BOX TO RETWEET THIS POST. Wonkette is morally weak.

SayItWithWookies October 20, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Her first tweet and she didn't even mention The LORD, the flag, American exceptionalism or the free market? I swear, this woman is taking over the internet just so she can express how much she wants to destroy America. Can we impeach President Obama for this?

trampndirtdown October 20, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Darrell Isaa says yes we can.

Dok-cupy Everything October 20, 2011 at 11:58 pm

I am so sad for our once-great nation.

DerrickWildcat October 20, 2011 at 11:03 pm

This is great! I bet she has some funny stories to tell.

Blueb4sunrise October 20, 2011 at 11:04 pm

In the still photo before the video, I can juuuuuuuust about see down her shirt.

Negropolis October 20, 2011 at 11:05 pm

This reminds me that FLOTUS is old enough to be my mother. A young, hot mother, of course, but old enough to be my mother, nonetheless. BTW, I never get tired of seeing Jill Biden. Never.

MilwaukeeKent October 20, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Dr. Jill if you're nasty.

Dok-cupy Everything October 20, 2011 at 11:56 pm

She's old enough to be my ex, and so I say, "wowser."

Pristine_ODummy October 21, 2011 at 2:25 am

It makes me feel young being around you children.

Dok-cupy Everything October 20, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Completely OT, except in that this may also be a first (though it probably isn't): Hamlet slash fanfic.

Even more astonishing, I thought it was rather good.

SayItWithWookies October 21, 2011 at 12:12 am

There is something hoppin' in Denmark.

Nostrildamus October 21, 2011 at 1:09 am

Michelle : bicep curls :: Chris Christie : burpees

FrenchTwist40 October 21, 2011 at 1:31 am

I want FLOTUS to tweet me a picture of her junk.

Negropolis October 21, 2011 at 1:40 am

OT: I was reading down the page about the NY Post criticising what the OWStreeters are eating, and I'd like to send a message.

Everytime you bitterly criticize OWS, a guillotine gets its blade. Just sayin'.

Occupy the Media. Hell, Occupy Everything. Occupy it Now. Occupy it with fire. Occupy 'til it hurts.

Pristine_ODummy October 21, 2011 at 2:30 am

Solidarity!~ #Occupy Congress! Occupy the Halls of The People! Enough of these politicians who cannot do their jobs, who delight in quibbling while we collapse and die. #Occupy!

MiniMencken October 21, 2011 at 2:48 am

Tweet your husband to grow a pair! Surrounding the Capitol with tanks and troops, taking out all of the Secess Repug legislators onto the front steps and then mowing them down with beaucoup 7.62 would be a good first move. Jus' sayin'.

PoopFilledSquadCar October 21, 2011 at 3:18 am

Second Tweet: Twitter blows. Why did I agree to do this? -mo

johnnyzhivago October 21, 2011 at 8:26 am

"Michelle, just don't click on the 'Invade Country' App on my Macbook"

vulpes82 October 21, 2011 at 8:49 am

History's greatest monster.

VespulaMaculata October 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Speaking of "regular installments" where the hell are you guys hiding Benincasa…?

ttommyunger October 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I'd tweet that.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: