Your regular installment of the FLOTUS Files was postponed this week, as your FLOTUS correspondent was kidnapped and is currently being held hostage in socialist/communist/generally terrible France, which is somehow Michelle Obama’s favorite and least favorite place of all time, favorite because of all the fanciness, and least favorite because of the time everyone ate cake, or something! We never really know what to expect from our FLOTUS, because she is full of surprises. This week, for example, she decided to forgo physical activity to sit at a computer and learn to “tweet,” a thing she maybe found out about from her husband, who sometimes indulges in tweeting.
Here is a video of our Michelle, submitting to peer pressure and going on the Twitter. She is probably just doing it to better protect her children, since she has heard about so many recent, local incidents of people flashing their junk and talking about whores, on this Twitter device.
A first tweet is a special experience shared between a First Lady and her staff. It must include references to military families or childhood obesity (direct tweets to obese children with cute hashtags about laziness are a plus!) and conclude with sign language applause. Well done, FLOTUS, well done. [YouTube]
GIVE US MONEY! -