We hope that overgrown Orangesicle John Boehner enjoyed the joyful noises of a group of chanting protesters who showed up to his golf tournament in the Republican fortress of Orange County, California, since this is probably something John Boehner had hoped to avoid when he left Washington for a few days. Funny, isn’t it, how those people seem to be everywhere? AND THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER: one protester even managed to get inside the golf club to deliver a petition with 26,000 signatures asking Boehner to pass Barack Obama’s jobs bill. Naturally, Boehner fled from the man.
From the LA Times:
Under the guise of having a tee time Monday morning, [Courage Campaign protester Rick Jacobs] was able to get into the golf clubhouse and speak with the Ohio representative and Republican leader.
He said he tapped the speaker on the shoulder. Boehner then turned and smiled until Jacobs said he was actually with the Courage Campaign, at which time Boehner turned and walked away.
Jacobs was trying to hand him an online petition signed by more than 26,000 people that called for Republicans to move the jobs bill forward; however Boehner’s assistants took it.
KEEP THOSE PEASANT GERMS AWAY FROM HIS MAJESTY, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. [LA Times via Wonkette super-operative "chascates"]
{ 196 comments }
"Orange County, California,"
Wow, they named a county after Boehner?
Don't forget Ronald Wilson Reagan's (6-6-6) hair.
P.S. This is how you edit a wiki entry: Josiah James Bramwell Ambrosius d'Artagnan Bucephalus Niobium Quinquidecimal Zephaniah Dogwhistle Cantrall IV ("Josie Sayonara")
*get it while it's hot.
~
Looks like you're the second person (after Cantrall) to ever see the page. Nicely done.
I rated it "5 stars" all the way across. I laughed, I cried.
ROTFLMAO, in tears!
I can't claim credit for the (accurate) corrections, that must go to fellow denizens at the Haus of Sad.
(Also worth clicking to see what young Mister Cantrall did to earn this help.)
~
Spectacular! Now would you please go do putative atheist S "E" Cupp?
Would love to have you edit my association's entry, right before I leave.
Moar like Josie Can'tRead. Amirite?
I need a phone number for Josiah. I've a friend who will think he's
hot, hot, hot.
Last chance for you, JJBAdBNQZDC IV.
wow that is a major fucking Wiki WIN!
Soon he'll have his own color: Boehner Orange; his own soft drink: Boehner Crush… the possibilities are endless.
Is there a 'Crybaby Fuckwad' County in California?
No. But there's a county they haven't named yet. They will as soon as they work out what it is on Trump's head.
Every county is Orange when Boehner arrives.
Knave! The Orangeman cannot be bothered with such things like "campaign promises," "governing," or "work!" Get a job, hippie, and stop pestering our dear Day-Glo Speaker!
That picture just NEVER gets old! I chuckle every time I see it.
Hey, that Oompah Loompah behind Boehner is missing his eyebrow! Where's Ron Paul?
Did Jacobs leave a "Baby Ruth" bar in the pool?
Best Boner pic evah! Is that Can'tor over his shoulder?
Added Boehner, "put me down for a '4.' "
"Winter rules"
#Occupy Bushwood!
Boehners was overheard explaining his jobs program to Jacobs–'The world needs ditch-diggers too."
It wasn't a golf outing, it was "district work period".
Was Boehner teed off at this?
Build the Tang Fence!!1!
Orange you glad you beat the Tan Fence joke?
I'm glad you didn't say banana.
In which hole did the protesters nail him? I mean "at."
Can't pass this one up…
All of 'em, Katie.
"Now watch this drive."
…a Repig's favorite last words
The guy calmly tried to present Boehner with a petition? That's not the way to talk to a Congressman; one should storm in armed and angrily screeching insults at him and incoherent rage about health care reform.
"…angrily screeching insults at him and incoherent rage about health care reform."
Protesters should channel their inner Michele?!!!
And don't forget to carry a gun openly. Either that, or a big fat contribution check.
"Hell no you can't!"
NEEDZ MOAR SPITTLE!
Boehner turned and walked away? Are you sure he didn't slouch away? After all, the congressman is a tremendous slouch.
Especially toward Bethlehem.
Rough orange beastie…
When will Rick Jacobs learn that the golf course is no place for politicians talking politics. You leave politics for airport bathrooms.
Yes, I agree with your stance on this.
Broadly speaking.
I too am in wide agreement. Also.
Thanks for the tip! ~ Politician, leaving airport bathroom
That's right, always in the men's room, again, the "white tile ceiling" keeping women out of the conversation. Thanks!
Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh…
Be the job, Boney.
Give the orange motherfucker a break–he is cutting taxes for the rich as fast as he can.
Shit, if these OWS hippies would just let his cabal cut corporate taxes to 0% we'd all have fucking jobs!!!!!
I'm sure he hired a caddy. So that's a job right there.
And why does my imagination keep showing me an orange Caddyshacking Rodney Dangerfield?
How about a Fresca?
I thought I saw President Obama toting a bag on the 14th fairway, with a giant B on it. I could be mistaken.
"…one protester even managed to get inside the golf club …"
Must have been one skinny motherfucker. Those shafts are only about this * * big.
Easier to pass through the eye of a needle than to pass a jobs bill through Congress when there's a Black Man in the White House.
Nice.
I can get into a clothes dryer.
Online petiton? Try a wheelbarrow of cash.
What? One of the rabble got past the fortress walls and actually touched our Tangelo-American overlord? Time to beat the caddy — and then maybe slash some social programs. You know, as an example to the others.
Asked how he likes to spend his time when not at work, Boehner replied, "A little golf, a few reprisal killings. You know, the usual things."
"If I want to look at poor people, rest assured that I will do so through a powerful telescope." — Mr. Burns
Find them in their club houses, find them in their spas, find them in their lesbian S&M clubs, find them in their closets. Give them no inch to escape. Find them and demand jobs. It's what the dickbags, led by their orange crush, promised.
oh they'll take an inch (or ten)
And then, Boner wept…
A woman who cried as frequently and inexplicable as Boehner would not only never be Speaker of the House, she wouldn't be able to keep a job as a Hostess at a Denny's.
After that, Boehner proceeded to slice his drives like they were income taxes.
~
Douche l'orange.
Man in my day a golf club would only allow Democrats in to caddy.
The only good thing that ever came out of the OC was Chrismukkah — oh, and the end of The OC.
I bet Boehner's first tee shot occupied the woods.
I bet Boehner was preoccupied by the first tee shot of his playing partner, T. Woods.
"How'd you like to mow my lawn…hmmm?" asked Boehner. "Haha, just kidding. we have 'professionals' who already do that."
"… and by 'professionals,' i mean Mexicans."
Si.
Yes, yes, but what did Hitler shoot for the day?
6 under
I'm not sure he kept score, but it was reported that all his Jewish friends had a gas.
All of them, Katie.
What do you get when you cross a crate of oranges, a case of cigarettes and 1000 tears?
The worst House speaker in US history?
Helen Keller.
Rick Scott town hall
Anita Bryant, circa 1977?
Bestest.
All of them, Katie.
orange cigarette jello?
Hitler?
Not a very exclusive country club if the let "colored" people like Boehner in.
It's OK if you're orange and it's Orange County.
The 99% movement now has one big accomplishment: for the first time ever, something interesting has happened during a golf game.
Hey, orange you John Boehner?
Orange you glad I didn't say Newt?
chascates is indeed a super operative.
"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."
Dave Barry
Superoperatorcalifragilisticexpealidocious!
As long as that doesn't mean I have to play.
I wonder why he didn't spit on him and call him an "Orange"…that's the way to get attention.
Depends. Midair or underwater?
He bravely ran away!
Bravely bold Sir Boner
Rode forth from Washington.
He was not afraid to promise jobs,
Oh brave Sir Boner.
He was not at all afraid to promise jobs for nasty knaves.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Boner.
You know who else took a dump on earlier promises to enable job creation?
Asshole.
I wonder when the Boehner moved his district to California.
Its part of their redistricting plan. “““`
Let them play golf and wear fake tanner!
Someone tried to talk to a GOP leader without throwing a Money Bomb in first? That ain't how it's done, people.
Plus, the petitioner was a Commie Black Panther Acorn Freedom Hater, obviously, since those are the only people who don't think Boner is the Best. Speaker. Ever.
This is the problem with these Occupy Wall Street/Obama Mobs. What with their polite tapping on the shoulders and petitions. Don't they know the only way the Republicans will take them seriously is if they adopt revolutionary war dress, wave weapons and racist signs, and shout down politicians when they are speaking to their constituencies? There are proper ways to get your political point of view across, and politeness is not one of them!!!
Tapping on the shoulder with a M4A Assault Rifle would be a polite compromise?
In Emerica he who shouts the loudest is mostest righter.
You're right – OWS needs to learn a few things from the Tea Party. If Jacobs had parked his scooter on Boehner's foot, the Speaker wouldn't have been able to walk off like that.
What a PutZ…
If it's nae wind and it's nae rain, it's nae golf. 'Tis also nae golf if ye use a wee petition instead of a cudgel on yer enemy.
–Traditional Scottish Proverb
Boehner's head 'tis a bit oversized…
At least the guy didn't make Boehner cry.
He said he tapped the speaker on the shoulder. Boehner then turned and smiled until Jacobs said he was actually with the Courage Campaign, at which time Boehner turned and walked away.
Well, at least Boehner simply walked away. Unlike, say, Eric Cantor who, after being tapped on the shoulder, would have immediately clutched his pearls, swooned, and screamed that he was being savagely assaulted by a vicious, bloodthirsty mob.
Or Michele Bachmann, who would have run off to hide then called 911 and order the cops to arrest the shoulder-tapper.
You left out swarthy, I am sure he would say the mob was swarthy.
Swarthy mobs are the best!
No no. That's Eric's other fantasy… the one that involves him getting sexually molested by a bunch of Paul Ryan clones.
I like my mobs swarthy, sets off the color of my hair.
With palm trees in the background.
Oh, please, please let there be youtube footage of the tap.
"The world needs ditch diggers too."
Doh, too slow. Full point good sir.
Ditch diggers are peop…oh, wait, no they're not. Maintain your social standing, my friends.
The world needs ball wipers, also to…
class warfare!
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the Cain campaign. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
btw, what would have happened if Jacobs had handed him a martini after tapping him on the shoulder?
Consensual sex?
Boner would have tipped him a dollar, and then gotten his panties in a bunch because Jacobs wasn't grateful enough.
A heck of a threesome: Boner, Hitler and Netanyahu. There must be a punchline in there somewhere…
The Aristocrats!
Something, something, all my rowdy friends, something?
Boehner , while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.
The next day while playing golf with Hitler and Netanyahu, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"
Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, Hitler turned to him and asked "Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"
WIN!
Here is hoping that one of these days Boehner’s persistent experimentation with various forms of auto-erotic asphyxia ends badly.
Purple is the compliment color to Orange on the pigment color scale. One could say purple is the death of orange.
Boehner then turned and smiled until Jacobs said he was actually with the Courage Campaign, at which time Boehner turned and walked away.
Boehner was smiling because he thought the guy was his caddy holding out his bourbon.
"He knows he can't go anywhere without the people going with him," said Rick Jacobs, founder of the Courage Campaign, a progressive group. "I hope that even while he's up there, raking in millions in cash, he knows there's people here and everywhere. We're going to make clear that this isn't a funny time anymore. This is a real time. It's time for him to get busy on jobs and not on his golf game."
Tears in 3…2…1…
he tapped Boner? gross…….
Slime-leech fucktard BONER was expecting a pack of Newports stuffed with hundred dollar bills. When that wasn't proffered, he reddened and fucked off to call his designated Koch monkey-trainer.
Actually I meant "equal-combination-of-red-and-yellowed," not "reddened." Our staff regrets this error.
Wow, so a 99%-er actually encountered a congresscritter in the wild? Someone alert Marlin Perkins!
Going to need a shovel.
While Jim sedated the charging RINO, I observed some graceful gazelles…
There are plenty of jobs at the club … but Boner expects you to be done and gone by the time he's ready for his morning round.
Especially any cleaners or greenskeepers who might look Mexican.
This brings to mind this immortal ditty by the late, great Sarah Cleghorn:
"The golf links lie so near the mill
That almost everyday
The laboring children can look out
And see the men at play"
Man, these Senators sure take a lot of time off… oh wait… that's Obama…
While Boehner didn't do anything on jobs while he was out on the links, he did outlaw several abortions.
"I wanna a hamburger… no a cheeseburger… I wanna hot dog… I wanna… FUCKING JOB PLAN!!"
You'll get nothing….. and like it!
Basically the petition guy missed his chance to sneak up behind Boner and give him the wedgie or noogie of a lifetime.
petition guy probably didn't wanna spend the rest of his life in Gitmo.
What, no glitter?
At least he got Bonehead where it hurts… right in the golf course.
I can guarantee… he don't want me delivering him any petitions.
Maybe if those lazy protesters got a job they could golf all day too.
When will the Richest 1% take to the streets and yell:
NO, WE CAN'T! NO, WE CAN'T! NO, WE CAN'T!
Unless you talkin' tax cuts for Billionaires, then YES WE CAIN…
Noonan! Noonan! NNNnnnnnOOONAN!!!
Completely OT, but is nobody going to cover Limbaugh's "Obama Invades Uganda, Targets Christians" rant?
In addition to lavishly praising the Lord's Resistance Army, a psychotically murderous gang of terrorists who have been killing, mutilating and raping their way across central Africa for about 25 years, he stated, and I quote, that Obama was sending troops to "wipe out Christians in Sudan, Uganda, and…" and went on to wonder if Obama would send troops to Egypt to kill Coptic Christians there.
Direct incitement to violence against the President. Remember when even the mildest criticism of the Commander in Chief was treason?
What the hell will it take to get this filth off the air?
"What the hell will it take to get this filth off the air?"
Uh, sending him some "free" Hillbilly Heroin that's laced with arsenic?
But, you know, Rush is too smart to fall for that trick, right?
He's just pretending to be stupid to suck money out of the sucker's pockets…
If you read the whole transcript, he proved himself as massively ignorant as Palin or Bachmann.
He may be 'smart' as manipulating the rubes, (including the rubes at Clear Channel that pay him the $$$), but he is an imbecile about anything happening in the real world.
It was bizarre. Every single 'fact' he uttered was the exact opposite of the truth.
First I'd heard of the Limbaugh idiocy (OK, this particular instance of ti, obviously). Apparently, Erick, Son of Erick, has been besieged by emails demanding he join Limbaugh in condemning Obama's attacks on these good Christian soldiers; the truly incredible thing is that even Erickson knows they're scum. You heard it here first: there's an insane slur on Obama that Erick Erickssson doesn't believe.
Yeah, even Sen. Jim Inhofe called him out on the Senate floor. I wonder how long before he'll have to come crawling to Rush to apologize.
Most of the right wing blogs are just ignoring this, but a couple have come out swinging, defending Limbaugh from being taken out of context.
Seriously, what are the laws regarding incitement to violence. I can't see how it could be any more explicit.
Bad ratings, or a dead child prostitute in his bed. Then again, a lot of stations would forgive the latter.
Or a recording of him insulting the CEO of Clear Channel.
After all, Charlie Sheen shot a woman, knocked a women out, hit a woman for refusing sex, held a knife to a woman's throat, threatening to decapitate her, made multiple death threats against multiple women, and he remained "Hollywood's adorable bad boy."
Then he got caught on tape insulting his producer, and NOW he's gone TOO FAR!
Gee, it's been almost a week since it was announced that LBO was sending "advisors" to Africa and Rush is just now getting around to equating it to a War on Xtians?
He said it Friday, but people are just starting to pick up on it.
And here it is, from the slug's own pit of slime:
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2011/10/14/obam...
Sorry, I posted before I saw your comment.
BTW, slug is excellent term for him. As is "Leaking sack of toxic medical waste." Slug's a bit more concise.
No, it was on his Friday show.
But he still has the transcript up, with the headline "Obama invades Uganda, Targets Christians" even though by now he has discovered that literally every word he had said on the subject was bullshit.
One of his producers started to correct him on the air, and he said he'd do his "due diligence" and get back to his audience with the facts.
4 days later, the post is still up, no corrections. Even if it is corrected discreetly somewhere down the line, the wingnuts will still be telling each other, "Obama wants to kill all the Christians!" Forevermore. And no amount of proof will ever dissuade them. Which, of course, was the intent.
BTW, LBO? New nickname for Obama, or typo? (Just curious, not a typo nazi.)
125 grains of lead?
Don't they prosecute treason anymore? It used to be a capital crime.
A nice, long stretch at luxurious spa 'Club Gitmo' might be poetic justice, on the other hand.
Or airdrop him into an LRA camp, since he's such a fan. Since they're such good Christians, they might even say grace before eating him.
"125 grains of lead?"
Like it would even get all the way through the first fat layer around his heart?
I kid, of course.
Rush doesn't have a heart.
Choking on a sammich, stroking out or a good old fashioned myocardial infarc or something similar should do. A particularly nasty flavor of cancer would work too. Most folks aren't too fussy about the method as much as the results. I would be fine with him slipping off this mortal coil while pumping a dominican boy's ass, just so long as he got dead and stayed there permanently.
A Republican classic: hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, dildo exactly where you'd expect it to be.
(Funny, Wonkette's spellchecker doesn't recognize the word "dildo". Who'd of thunk?)
Also, do all golfers dress like they're in H.M.S. Pinafore?
Boner's assistants are famous for "taking it."
Why'd they have to give him a fight?
Why can't they just let him be?
Brave Sir Boehner, who slew the infamous chicken of Bristol, wet his pants and ran away.
This has to be just another lie from the lamestream media, because everybody knows that Obama is the only politician who golfs.
Privately he cried.
your hobos….so you finally figured that you need a job? let Boner enjoy some golf…afterall his got a cushy gov't income,, health care and retirement waiting for him…..see ya hippies…
"Naturally, Boehner fled from the man. "
White flight!
Does Speaker Boehner (R-Ohio) represent all of Orange County or just its defense contractors?
You posted late, or the p would rain upon you.
My goal is to be the last to post.
Headline of the day (Yahoo):
"Michele Bachmann, Ed Rollins Trade Snipes in the Media"
Been a long time since I've been on a snipe hunt.
A snipe is one of the things that makes up a squirmish.
The person with the petition should be glad he wasn't dealing with NYPD – he would have got run over with a golf car, punched in the face, and maced in the face – then held for eight hours in a jail without a bathroom, food or water.
You know, this could look a little elitist, to people who are not real Americans. I mean, how many people have a weekday off to go golfing (who aren't doctors) if they are needed at work? Green fees in O.C. are really high (even in this economy), and you really shouldn't blow off your constituents in an election cycle. However, I was raised there, and I can assure all of you who are feeling bad for our dear speaker, that the number of Fox watching tools who will be there to buck up Mr. Boehner will be suffcient.
He's the People's* Speaker.
*Only the "right sort" of people.
Don't you people have homes? Don't you people have jobs?
Not any more, we're the 99%, John "Elihu" Boehner…
That photoshop is either from tengrain or driftglass. Give credit, please.
My bad. You have an original pshop, It's just not an original idea
http://driftglass.blogspot.com/2009/11/oompa-loom...
http://www.mockpaperscissors.com/blog/wp-content/...
"Tapped him on the shoulder?" Jeebus Tap Dancing Christ! He was at a Golf Club! There had to be actual Golf Clubs handy. He was that close! How about tapping the grifting drunk on the noggin with a six-iron, just for grins?
ISWYDT.
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