Oh look, a weird video of Herman Cain turning John Lennon’s nice old antiwar hippie song about peace and sharing and brotherhood into a mangled paean to fast food and diabetes and frosting, in a gospel robe, for some Jesus people. This will be America’s new national anthem, since Herman Cain is somehow leading Obama 43-41 in the latest Rasmussen poll.
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{ 119 comments }
Imagine where Cain would be without pizza.
Yoko Ono to sue for copyright violation in 3…2…1…
Yeah, this is worse than her second album.
I'd like to see Yoko and Lou Sarah have a screeching competition. With the volume turned off.
I imagined a world without pizza and I lost the will to live.
Then, I imagined a world with only Godfather's pizza and I slit my wrists and jumped off a tall building in front of an 18-wheeler.
Wait…what was an 18-wheeler doing at the top of a tall building? Sounds like sorcery to me.
Depression among 18-wheelers is no laughing matter! That poor truck's suicidal tendencies need to be addressed.
Rasmussen polls are basically meaningless. Nate Silver told me so.
Yet, rather like statements about my IRA, they keep coming and reminding me how worthless they are.
Except that your IRA statements reflect something that is actually happening. Rasmussen polls reflect the wet dreams of teabaggers and nothing else.
The FOX News of opinion research. Fair and Balanced!
It could have been worse. I mean, at least he didn't sing "Michelle."
Cain has locked up the coveted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles endorsement.
Asked to comment, Michelangelo said Cain's views were "Radical!"
Let the pizza soar!
"Herman Cain is somehow leading Obama 43-41 in the latest Rasmussen poll."
I think that "somehow" is explained by the "Rasmussen" part.
"Rasmussen: We lean far right so you don't have to!"
Rasmussen phone poll trainee has to memorize the following:
"Do you own a gun? Do you believe Jesus is your savior? Do you hate muslims? Do you love the taste of Elmer's glue? Do you watch FoxNews? Yes to all? Perfect. Here are the poll questions."
What the fuck was that?
And is that a sax that's so flat? Almost as annoying as the lyrics.
alto sax: the Sarah Palin of musical instruments.
Lost in the desert you meet three people, an in tune sax player, an out of tune sax player and a talking aardvark, Whom do you ask for water?
A.- the out of tune sax player. The other two are hallucinations….
Well — not only is irony dead, but now surrealism is having a coronary.
I guess it ate too much meat lovers pizza.
They said America lost its innocence on 9/11, but we now know "they" were wrong.
Where is the Noid when we need him?
So, world peace is equal to just a pizza to the Hermanator.
Whirled peas pizza?
Oh please oh please oh please let this guy be the Republican nominee……
I recall thinking that about George W. Bush.
On the other hand, in the unlikely event he wins the GOP nod, we're guaranteed a third party candidate (who just happens to be white, because of, you know, probability), who I'm pretty sure won't be drawing off much of Obama's base.
Yeah, but all those idiotic bubbas (uh, no offense) who voted for Bush were white guys who loved ignorant white dumbfucks like Bush as if he were their long-lost Basket Case (the horror movie) brother. The black version won't play so well.
be careful what you wish for
Where's Mark David Chapman when you need him?
Okay, close down comments to this thread now. Nothing more needs said.
Razor-sharp snark. Bravo.
I don't know what cell, but he's in Attica Correctional Facility. And, since he was recently denied parole for the sixth time, I'm guessing he's going to stay there for the foreseeable future.
It's even worse than Donald Trump shilling for Pizza Hutt's Cheez in the crust.
Don't worry, once most Republicans figure out that Hermann Cain is not the old white guy in the Mob Suit in Godfather's commercials, his campaign will be in Gingrich land in no time.
Tiffany's?
Does Cain's wife have cancer? Or is he just looking to upgrade to something younger?
Wrong John Lennon song: Number nine…….
"Run for your life if you can, little girl…."
Ah, the Stalker Song, one of Lennon/McCartney's best:
♪♫I'd rather see you dead little girl than to be with another man
You'd better keep your head little girl, 'cuz you won't know where I am.♪♬
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead
Better a Beatles thread than a Cain thread. But the Beatles make me cry in a good way.
fuck you, Cain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wusGIl3v044
Imagine there's no wing dings
it'd be easy to fry.
I am waiting for the release of "Give Pizza a Chance."
Give Pizza Chants?
Nowhere Man
Tomorrow Never Knows.
Nine Days a Week.
The 9% Taxman
I hope that he has to listen to nothing but Yoko Ono outtakes in Hell.
I think Herman's next song will be "Imagine there's no Muslims. It won't be hard to do. When I go in the White House. They'll all be told to 'go screw'."
Hit it and quit, already.
Finally, a Lennon song stranger than I Am The Walrus….
You what else John Lennon said?
"Yoko, is that guy carrying a pistol?"
As was said of Basil Fawlty, "There's enough material there for an entire conference"…..
Weird Al just called. He'd like to apologize for ever inspiring an idiotic parody.
♪♫ Sgt. Pepperoni's Hearts Clogged Band… ♪♫
In a bid to please the NRA 'Happiness is a Warm Gun' will be on the CD.
Cain already was president of the NRA–The National Restaurant Association
After the wild success of that abomination, I just know Herman Cain's gonna be looking for more noble sentiments to defile. I suggest God Bless America:
God bless the coal tar sands
And shale we can frack
Deep-water drilling, fish killing
Turning the Gulf of Mexico black
Blow up mountains
Cut the forests
Dump the garbage
In the streeeeeeams
God bless our short-term needs
With subsidies
God bless our short-term needs
With subsidies
Pizza sells . . . but who's buying?
nice.
"what do you mean i couldn't be President of the United States Of America?
it's still we the sheeple, right?"
Herman, Herman, Herman, you're supposed to wait until the end of the song before you pull off the white hood.
Americans will never elect a black president.
He puts the Coo-Coo in Coo Coo Ca Choo.
If Annie Leibovitz takes a naked photograph of him I'm quiting life.
Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster:
Please send your Delicious Meatballs of Death to strike this foul creature down, so that he may nevermore defile delicious tomatoey goodness.
Ramen.
~
On the one hand Cain is completely unqualified, has repugnant views on many subjects and is borderline insane. On the other hand I do like Pizza and that 999 plan has a ring to it.
You know who else commandeered peace anthems into lame shill tunes for fast food?
Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress?
Not Neil Young!
THIS NOTE'S, THIS NOTE'S, THIS NOTE'S, THIS NOTE'S, THIS NOTE'S FOR YOU V572!
You should see the summer version in sheerest prosciutto crudo.
Whoever spun "All We Are Saying / Is Give Pizza-a Chance"?
Coke?
Romney?
A Hard Bain Is Gonna Fall?
i dont know
Nike?
Victoria Secret?
Horst Wessel?
Die Pizza hoch! Die Spitzen fest geschlossen.
GF liefert mit ruhig, festem Schritt
Kam'raden, die Pizza Hut und Reaktion erschossen,
Marschier'n im Geist in unser'n Reihen mit.
Die Straße frei den braunen Batallionen.
Die Straße frei dem Sturmabteilungsmann!
Es schau'n aufs Pizza voll Pepperoni schon Millionen.
Der Tag für Freiheit und für Pizza bricht an!
Mit Sardelle oder nicht?
Keine Schwimmer, bitte.
The Koch brothers?
Cain Job Plan: Every Wednesday in the USA is Pizza Night!!!! Think of how many high pay, high tech pizza industry jobs this will create!
The single will be out shortly, with the B side, "Cold Turkey"
Cold Pizza!
Has got me.
Oh!
On the run…
Oh mercy, mercy me.
Things ain't what they used to be.
What's goin' on?? ♪ (cue the part around 3:14 where you can't tell if Marvin is crying or stifling a grim laugh at life's absurdity)
Let The Pizza Soar (or GTFO)
And dare I ask: WTF with the white robes?
No no, that's Dress Barn couture. Mind you, Herman would be so much more convincing if he'd remember to put on the goddamn wig.
Roll over John Lennon.
The sound you just heard is Jim Nayder orgasming.
Or Jim Nabors.
Herman Cain is no John "Bowtie" Barstow, that's for sure.
Rasmussen query:
For the office of President of the United States for whom would you vote?
A. Former Fortune 500 CEO Herman Cain
B. That Muslim n***er Obama
Herman Cain: "I am an American, and my Pizza is 99% fat!"
Worst. X Factor. Audition. EVER.
Should Rasmussen be correct (yeah, and my cock can whistle "Danny Boy") then looks like the next four years could look like a bad remake of Blazing Saddles. Just imagining the cast- Rush Limpdick as Mongu? Bachmann as Lilli von Shtupp?
And Glenn Beck as the noxious fumes emitted during the fart scene.
How dare you besmirch the memory of the Teutonic Titwillow?
It's twoo, it's twoo!
I expected Belushi and Ackroyd to burst in at the end.
♪♫ I'm proud to be an American,
Where my third topping choice is free…♫♪
Not surprising. Look, the guy ran a pizza chain that was based in Omaha. I'm sure it's a great town, and the home of insurance giants like Mutual of Omaha and Woodmen of the World, but it doesn't exactly strike me as a cultural oasis, much less a pizza paradise. So this cheesy-ass rendition of what should be the world's anthem sung by a huckster in a white graduation/Christmas-pagent-angel gown comes as no surprise to me at all.
Why is Chief Webber from Grey's Anatomy singing in that Klan get-up?!
Lovely Rita, Pizza Maid
# 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9 # 9
Dead me on, Turn Man
Cranberry sauce
He has just won my heart.
Laugh all you want–I understand that Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan has adopted this as their national anthem.
Herman Cain is somehow leading Obama 43-41 in the latest Rasmussen poll.
This is the same Rasmussen that has the *only* poll where more Americans oppose OWS than support it.
Oh, and Cain, please don't quit your day job…
But how else do the republicans reconcile their actions with acting on "The People's Will"? They hire a pollster that miraculously finds the polling results that they're looking for with great fidelity. Fox has cable news for them, Rasmussen has the polls they want, Regnery and others have the books, all the facts they can eat!
All We Are Saying Is Give Cheese a Chance
Hmmm. So THAT is what happens when you mix Herman Cain and Mittens magic underwear…
I swear I heard a cut from the White Album: "If, you become stupid…"
Unscrupulous h8trs would suggest that Herm is also mocking Sanctified singers of a certain tradition.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIbxZKN9E7w&fe...
I like pizza. Despite this.
Mittens is highly offended that Hermie is doing his impression of the Angel Maroni, in genuine blackface. How rude!
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