Herman Cain’s Illegal Immigration Platform: Fry Them All To Death

Is this what a fried Mexican looks like?There is so much insane information about Herman Cain floating around right now that we do not even know where to start! Herman Cain is pro-drunk driving, Herman Cain is just a Satanic lab experiment developed by the Koch brothers… oh fine, let’s go with the most ludicrously bloodthirsty quote, the one about Herman Cain’s plan to Deal With Immigration. Easy enough! Just zap the illegal alien fuckers to death with an electrified border wall: “It’s going to be 20 feet high. It’s going to have barbed wire on the top. It’s going to be electrified. And there’s going to be a sign on the other side saying, ‘It will kill you — Warning.’” What a nice way to decorate America’s border, with charred Mexicans hanging over the entrance! (The bodies must be left up there as a deterrent, obviously.) “Teabagger mistletoe” is what we can call it. And what if this still miraculously doesn’t keep them away?

Oh right, “bullets.”

From the NYT:

The [border wall] remarks, which came at two campaign rallies in Tennessee as part of a barnstorming bus tour across the state, drew loud cheers from crowds of several hundred people at each rally. At the second stop, in Harriman, Tenn., Mr. Cain added that he also would consider using military troops “with real guns and real bullets” on the border to stop illegal immigration.

As a bonus, the electrified fence will also kill any of the freedom-haters trying to get out. Win-win. [NYT]

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    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Topped with barbed wire? Why can't he top the wall with pepperoni and mushrooms? Those are my favorites.

  1. NewtsUndies

    Everyone too shocked to comment or are you all weeping into your fists and gnashing your teeth? I know I am.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Please – Cain isn't a monster. Of course he will post bilingual signs. That say:

      Bienvenido a los Estados Unidos

    2. Native_of_SL_UT

      Regardless of which language it is printed in, it will do a great job keeping the illiterate out.

    3. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm sure the 'baggers have legislation in mind that would prohibit spending federal funds on anything not written in English.

  2. x111e7thst

    Sounds like the Berlin Wall. But that can't be right because they were Commies and we have Freedumz.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I think the justification will be that the Berlin Wall was built to keep people in, where the Great Wall of Cain will be built to keep people out.
      My question is, who is going to pay the electrical bill?

      1. x111e7thst

        Walter Ulbricht always insisted that his wall was to keep the capitalists and their running dog lackeys out.

    1. Beowoof

      Well it would help with them getting medicare. Eat that crap and there is no way you will live to retire.

    1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

      Cainhorn Leghorn.

      "I have a final solution to the Jewish Problem….just kidding, no seriously, I was kidding!"

        1. Dok-cupy Everything

          It does create a conundrum for Limbaugh and other right-wingers who avoided the draft: If Cain is Foghorn Leghorn, what's a chickenhawk to do?

    2. Chichikovovich

      Absolutely – it was a joke. And why was the audience cheering loudly rather than laughing at this "joke"? Ah,…, um,… They were *joke cheers*.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        Gooper crowds cheer for death under any circumstances– lack of insurance, executions — and death for Browns made it even more attractive.

    3. CapnFatback

      Sure, it's just a joke. Cain is just applying that age-old axiom of Future Massacre – Time = Comedy.

      Get it?

  3. skoalrebel

    Good fences make good neighbors. [spit] He's just trying to improve relations with Mexico by electrocuting people.

      1. poncho_pilot

        you counter with the opposite. you tear down the fence of the skull and perform a lobotomy. you increase the stupid till it's harmless.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Nixon used to joke around like that all the time. "Hey Haldeman, we know the Democrats are going to pull out all the stops in this election. We shouldn't wait for them to get caught — let's just assassinate McGovern now and get it over with."

      Most of the time, fortunately, his advisors would just let it drop. But then every so often they'd wind up bombing Cambodia or trying to tap the DNC headquarters.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        If it was Nixon, it's more likely he said, "Let's just assassinate that goddamn McGovern and get it the hell over with. Hear me, you fucker?"

    1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

      Let's ask former governor Sarah Palin, who has been muted for, what — two weeks now?

    2. elviouslyqueer

      Judging from his performance on "Meet the Press," I'd say approximately two days ago.

      Apropos of which, I'm also of the opinion that David Gregory needs to be skullfucked until his eyeballs pop out.

      1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

        You should not speak so disrespectfully of a member of the Washington Establishment. Dancin' David Gregory's just auditioning Cain for membership; that's why there are no followup questions. The test is not, "Do you have thoughtful explanations for your policies" but rather, "Can you bloviate away any mildly aggressive question?" Cf, WE member-in-good-standing Eric Cantor on the OWS "mob."

      2. proudgrampa

        God, I cannot stand David Gregory. His lack of critical thinking drives me crazy. Where is Tim Russert when when we need him???

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I don't mind No-Follow-up Gregory's lack of critical thinking … but I do believe he should require at least a little of it from the people he's entertaining … um, I mean interviewing.

          1. Jukesgrrl

            Yes, he's here in Arizona. All of these morans, including Romney, have paid homage to our jackboot sheriff, who would happily wear a brown shirt if that weren't so unpopular a color around these parts. In fact, Arpaio won re-election with his smallest margin ever in the last election. While his influence increases in the GOP, it's actually waning in Arizona.

    1. Preacher_Griz

      Unlike what the truck stop pizza mogul proposes, Rep Tom Tancredo would build a electric border fence of such immense scale it would be visible from OuterSpace..at night time!

      And He would securitize it with Effective Mine Fields

  4. OccupyFnChicken

    I don't think he was saying these things just because he was in Tennessee. I think he really thinks these thinks.

    1. chicken_thief

      But it does go over really well in TN. The state that all the illegals are, of course, risking life and limb to sneak across the border to come to.

      1. OccupyFnChicken

        Here's where the funny is:

        Arizona: lies against the Mexican border
        Alabama: does not

        so, "why did Alabamians get all riled up over immigration again?" More importantly, other than to keep out Mississippians and Alabamians (fuck the Crimson Tide, I always say), why would us Tennesseans care a whip about immigration policy?

        1. kissawookiee

          It's because astute Alabamians know that fewer immigrants = fewer vegetables being picked before rotting into sludge = more room on the plate for pork rind-crusted fatback fingers deep-fried in lard.

          1. cheetojeebus

            pork rind-crusted fatback fingers deep-fried in lard AND wrapped in a pizza then dipped in beer batter(schlitz) and deep fried again, then topped with a light sprinkle of salted rat dicks.

    2. Barrelhse

      An extremely high percentage of illegal Mexicans and Hamas walk across the border and into Tennessee every day, probably over 100% by some estimates. It's no wonder that the people of TN are so fucking concerned, the motherfucking racist assholes.

  5. Goonemeritus

    We need to lay off this guy and let the GOP romance bloom. In my fantasy they will walk all the way to the alter look over and exclaim who the hell are you and where is Reagan.

  6. JoshuaNorton

    C'mon guys. According to his Sunday talk-a-thon, he was just trying out his new stand-up routine for open-mike night at the local Komedy Korner.

    Q: How can you tell when a Repig is telling a joke?
    A: Nothing about it is remotely funny.

  7. ttommyunger

    Can't wait for President Cain's future proposal to do away with the needle for executions. No question he will support Crucifixion, claiming if it was good enough for Jesus, its good enough for America! Snark off for a moment: I'm seriously considering sending this clown some money. I'm pretty sure his Nomination would guarantee Barry's reelection.

    1. Respitetini

      The only thing that could stop President Quisling at this moment is a primary.

      Come to think of it, a primary might just get me to register Democrat.

      1. Chichikovovich

        President Quisling?? Exactly what has democratically elected, democratic election facing Obama done that you would consider as comparable to dictatorially imposing an Anti-Semitic Nazi regime on unwilling countrymen as the puppet of Hitler's Germany?

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Call it Chichikovich's corollary to Godwin's Law: Compare someone to Quisling in an argument, and you lose.

          And while we're at it, here's Lascauxcaveman's Corollary: Compare someone to Marshal Philippe Pétain in an argument, and you lose.

          1. Chichikovovich

            Aw, crap. I was just about to post "Exactly! And also if you compare someone to San Pellegrino". But then you changed "Vichy" to "Pétain" (nice sense of parallel structure, by the way – good use of the edit button).
            Gotta be fast in this place. Not the minor leagues.

          2. Lascauxcaveman

            I just like to keep things personal.

            So if you compare someone's girlfriend to Eva Braun…

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Two black guys as the major party candidates? That deafening thunder you hear is the sound of exploding racist/teabagger heads.

      1. ttommyunger

        But they give such convincing lip service to this hapless clown; thereby proving they are not racist, don'tchaknow!

  8. GorzoTheMighty

    "…with charred Mexicans hanging over the entrance! " I guess the border with Canada will never be the same. Dudley Do-right beware!

  9. prommie

    Hey, cool, it will be like one of those mossquito zappers! Just that the fireworks, and the smell, will be even worse when one of those pesky pests gets stuck on the electrified grid! Yee-haw, the Texans will probably pull up chairs and roast marshmallows.

    1. PubOption

      He got the idea from the fly zappers in the kitchens of his pizza stores. (In all probability right above where the illegal Mexicans were working.)

  10. EatsBabyDingos

    Needs a moat. You can't bring back the good ol' days without a moat. And maybe a monkey in the trees flinging poo, because that's just fun.

  11. prommie

    Now where do we put the punji stakes? And the trap-guns? Claymores, hell, lets go all out, claymore mines, and bouncing betties. The GOP is now the Carnage party.

    1. fartknocker

      General Electric "brings good things to light."

      With the Buy American requirements under the General Services Administration, the folks and Customs and Border Protection will be specing massive GE 3-phase transformers to provide jobs to Americans. Let's just hope the contractor doesn't employ any messicans – freedumbs, people, freedumbs.

  12. DaSandman

    Hermie also considering a high end game shooting business at the border. Of course for "game" read Messicans…

    1. DashboardBuddha

      I think I see a flaw with the fence here…unless there are trained sharks beyond that last panel.

  13. Eve8Apples

    Herman's so confident he can win this election, he decided he doesn't need Latino voters. In fact, he doesn't need sane voters of any race.

    1. prommie

      Hmmm, a campaign geared towards mobilizing the insane violent maniac vote. You know, I'm worried, it just might work.

  14. GuanoFaucet

    I figured that his plan would involve promising to deport illegal immigrants in thirty minutes or less.

  15. Dok-cupy Everything

    What next? Dogs? Killer bees? Dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

    1. Chichikovovich

      Killer whales in the Rio Grande, and those killer whales have Micheal Vick – trained pitbulls on surfboards in their mouths, and when the dogs bark they shoot killer bees at you.

      And the killer whales have frickin' laser beams.

      1. Pat_Pending

        Ya know what's great? I opened the replies to this post, just to see how soon someone would mention 'sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads.' Wonkette never disappoints. And now, back to my mind-numbing, money-producing tasks…

  16. Chillwaver

    You'd think that somebody who was given a second chance (Herb's a Stage IV cancer survivor, I'm told) would be a little more appreciative of life and not such a bad person and overall giant douche.

    Just in case, let's hope Canada doesn't decide to build a fence like this…

    1. Beowoof

      I could be in trouble if they do, here in Rochester I am not to far from Canada and have always thought it would be a sane place to escape to.

  17. hagajim

    Well what do you expect? This asshole was the CEO of Godfather's and apparently he thinks he's the Godfather. Put a cap in your ass.

  18. Allmighty_Manos

    The electric fence will be only be deployed if the GOP's prior policy of continuing to fuck up the economy so bad that no one will want to come here fails. Don't count on it.

  19. prommie

    OT, wonketteers, I went to Zuccotti Park/Liberty Square yesterday, to offer support and thanks and to gawk and maybe catch a glimpse of hippiechicks in dishabile, as it were, as they lay sleeping beneath their pretty blue tarps, and I was so impressed, truly. They were nice kids, mostly, along with the usual protest-glommers-on who show to anything that gets press. They hardly smelled at all, the place was so amazingly orderly and neat and organized and clean it was freakish, I don't think I would enjoy camping out there, too many rules, too disciplined. But the amazing thing is how few there really are, and what a small place it is, yet the world has noticed! Its fucking great.

    1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

      Like the passage in Grapes of Wrath where the Joads arrive in California and find camps of economic refugees helping each other, sharing, working cooperatively and can hardly believe their eyes.

        1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

          You’re so kind. Don’t do it much anymore, too distracted by gizmo-based commo toys, but have fond memories of it.

          1. Limeylizzie

            It's what makes me come to the Wonkette, there was also a reference to the Wife of Bath on this thread,smart and snarky can't be beaten, I say.

          2. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

            Also me. Can’t help it:  Mom was an English teacher, me an English major. Something unbearably sexy about a woman with a gap between her two front teeth: WOB, Lauren Hutton, Mandy Drury, etc. Just my kink, along w/the lit-crit funzies.

          3. prommie

            Oh yeah, well, umm, if it was a teabagger protest, it would have gone all Lord-of-The-Flies-y. See, I can be all literary and stuff. How you like me now, how you like me now. . . .

          4. prommie

            I wandered the Village for hours, just hoping I would randomly bump into you and sense your identity immediately, "por las calles voy sin nutrirme, callado"

          5. Limeylizzie

            Oh poor wee Prommie, I am in Los Angeles this week, otherwise you would have found me, I have a very high adorableness quotient in person, I am told.

          6. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

            Needs moar objective correlatives and synechdoche. Or is it metonymy — always get them mixed up, don't you?

          7. Dok-cupy Everything

            "He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and … satire. He was vicious."

          8. jqheywood

            "Didn't he nail your head to the floor?"
            "Dinsdale? No…Yes. Well, I mean, he had to, din't he?. Such a gentleman…"

    2. bigdupa

      bottom line it for us- did you get any action? Any, "Why don't you come to my apartment for a shower, a good rodgering and another shower?"

      1. prommie

        NOW you tell me the line I should have used, fat lot of good it will do me now, I am back in the cage, returned to my life of corporate wage-slavery, dreams of rebellion and hippiechick pot and patchouli sex safely faded away leaving me nothing but the hopeless despair, frustration, and regret that makes up my daily life.

    3. Hurricane Ali

      "They hardly smelled at all" makes me wonder what you expected! "Bunch a smelly millenials, but they kept the place neat as a pin! All that ADHD medication and years of therapy really paid off!"

        1. Hurricane Ali

          Yep and it was funny so I am (attempting) to reply in kind, Mr. Leghorn. It's the general nature of Wonkette to snark someone else's snark but perhaps I was a tad off-key, and not a regular so…gah, nevermind.

          Sorry, my bad.

          1. prommie

            No no, my bad for not recognizing your counter-snark, please don't feel bad, I hate to harsh anyone's mellow.

    4. LiveToServeYa

      Clean and orderly dirty hippies. What is the world coming to? Perhaps Harold Camping is right… Nah.

      1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

        Some CNBC money-honey they borrow once in a while to repeat inanities on MSNBC. There’s something at once feral and stupid about her that me likey too.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            Everyone should know of the longstanding hostilities between Aussies like Murdoch and New Zealanders.

            But, let's get to the nut: regardless of her employer, Drury knows, when I am down to my socks it's business time. Thus, why we call 'em business socks.

  20. __kth__

    Seems like a dumb idea, fantastically expensive and easily thwarted. That's an argument that might prevail with a conservative or two, unlike merely pointing out how reprehensible it is.

    1. WunkRocker

      Who is gonna pick all the pepperonis for the pizza pies if the Messicans are all fenced to the south. Will they pick the pepperonis in Messico and ship them North? Huh?

  21. tcaalaw

    You know who else used electrified fences as a means to lethally deter undesirables from going where they weren't wanted?

  22. Chillwaver

    "And there’s going to be a sign on the other side saying, ‘It will kill you — Warning.’”

    You know who else warned his victims before giving them an excruciating death?

      1. DaRooster

        I hope they remember to hang the signs before finishing the fence… otherwise they will have to trespass to do so.

  23. Barrelhse

    'Teabagger Mistletoe(s)"- I like it. It's just the thing to put us all in the right frame of mind for the joyous Christian holiday, celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ Almighty who taught us to "love one another as we love Him."
    I wish there was a Hell for all those losers.

  24. DashboardBuddha

    I wish I could say that he shocked me with his statements. But, he's just pandering to the lowest common denominator with such emotionally charged statements. However, he must follow the political current of his party. I can see why he has been electrifying his base.

    1. Chichikovovich

      He'll probably send sparks through the "liberal press" too. A jolt right up their spines. But then, they've always been good conductors for Republican ideas.

  25. Indiepalin

    I'd love to hear Herman Cain's assessment of last week's South Park episode where Cartman joins the Border Patrol only to find millions of Mexicans climbing the fence to get OUT of the U.S.

  26. fuflans

    i was at my parents' house yesterday and made the mistake of glancing at the wall street journal editorial page (as you many remember, in her advancing years, the wsj editorial page is the only thing my canadian socialist lawyer mother will read).

    full endorsement of cain and his 9-9-9 plan ("shockingly bold").

    wsj really has gone off the reality cliff.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        The WSJ editorial page has pretty much always been batshit. Murdoch just turned the knob all the way up to 11 is all.

  27. SorosBot

    Should anyone be surprised that this got cheers? This is the Republican base, which has shown itself to be bloodthirsty again and again; they're fundamentalist Christians, who celebrate the idea that anyone who is not a member of their death cult will suffer torture for eternity, to them the suffering and death of anyone who is not them is something to cheer.

    1. proudgrampa

      Thank you, Sor. I think you have got that analysis correct. These are the same hypocritical fuckers who are all for the death penalty but scream about being "pro-life."

      1. SorosBot

        But then "pro-life" means believing women should killed by back-alley butchers (along with cervical cancer and STDs) if they have the temerity to have sex except in the manner they order, so once you realize "pro-life" actually means pro-death it makes sense.

  28. marinmaven

    Sadly, when you have relatives who think that we should create a huge kill zone with our army at the border, an electrical fence is relatively tame.

    America: Lets connect that sucker to a couple of "clean" coal plants after we get Pedro to build it, and we are set to go to church.

  29. PubOption

    You need to make sure that the sparks from the fence don't interfere with TV reception. Imagine the anger if coverage of a NASCAR race gets interrupted.

  30. chicken_thief

    That's the second best joke from that idiot this weekend. The best was that people will love his 999 Plan even though he now admits it will raise the taxes on the poor.

    Oh, Hermie, you so funny!!!

  31. proudgrampa

    I've got the perfect Campaign Song for Herman:

    There’s a Mexican dead up on a power line
    He’s deader than yesterday’s communion wine
    He was trying to getting something he couldn’t afford for free
    He was just a poor man stealing electricity

    10,000 volts and now he’s gone
    He’s hanging on a cross-tire above Babylon
    Hey baby ain’t that just like you and me
    Love is like stealing electricity

    -Tom Russell

  32. mavenmaven

    In Herman Cain's America, misdemeanors (which is what remaining in the country without a visa is) will be punishable by death if you are Latino.

  33. DustBowlBlues

    The rules In the New World Order, aka, taking responsibility is only for Democrats and other pansies, read as follows:

    If anything I say doesn't go over well, it was meant as a joke.
    I don't know the facts on this, but I think . . .
    That wasn't meant to be a factual statement.

  34. DustBowlBlues

    But what about the anchor babies, Herman? Will you make an exception to your no abortion for any woman, no matter the circumstances, position? Will you zap the mom but not the baby? Or just require her to have an abortion if she makes it into our wonderful country.

    PS: Hopey is giving a great speech in NC. I can get pumped again and send $50 several times. Piss on American Crossroads. That'll show Karl and his asshat buddies.

    1. north_of_moscow

      Actually, the plan is to make the fence a sort of vertical treadmill, connected to a turbine. The poor Mexicans will keep climbing and climbing, going nowhere, all the while powering the X-boxes and microwaves that make being poor in this country so awesome.

    1. LiveToServeYa

      Only if his goal is to be elected POTUS. I believe it's more a Trumpflation of self-image and perceived talking-head worth.

    2. DashboardBuddha

      He's the dumbass motherfucker by which other dumbass motherfuckers are judged. He is the gold standard of dumbass motherfucker.

  35. SorosBot

    Herman Cain being the frontrunner makes perfect sense once you realize that the Republican party has basically gone off the deep-end, the inmates are now running the asylum and while the party bosses, who are mostly intelligent but evil, want to anoint Romney the teabagging base will go for the candidate who panders the most to their own worst instincts.

    This is a group who's largest (moth metaphorically and literally) mouthpiece, Rush Limbaugh, openly supported a group that kidnaps and brainwashes children to force them to be soldiers who then massacre entire villages in Africa simply because Obama decided to help fight them, and they are Christian. They've simply gone nuts since a black man entered the White House.

    1. prommie

      I see that Sean Penn said to Piers Morgan, on the TeeVee, that the teabaggers are really the "Get the Nigger Out of the Whitehouse Party." You go, Spicoli.

  36. fletc3her

    I'd like to know what Herman Cain has against moats? With crocodiles and rabid salmon! That will keep the border safer than any dumb fence. And, bonus, we can stop using the Panama Canal.

      1. WunkRocker

        Let's leave my ex-wife out of this. Unless there's a plan she gets 'lectrocuted coming back from Cancunt.

  37. Chichikovovich

    "Mr. Cain added that he also would consider using military troops “with real guns and real bullets” on the border to stop illegal immigration."

    You know that someone is a cretin if the fact that he is clearly unaware of the Posse Comitatus Act is the *least idiotic* of the dozen or more idiotic things about this proposal.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      As opposed to our military troops who use fake guns and fake bullets? Those guys are so gay! Oh, wait…

  38. UnholyMoses

    "Teabagger mistletoe"

    Pure. Fucking. Genius.

    Oh, and will someone please tell conservatives that just having some black guy run a pointless primary campaign will NOT make black folks suddenly like them? They need to stop being bigoted assholes whose policies punish the poor and minorities.

    Just a thought …

  39. bigdupa

    How will they power the fence? A) Unregulated nuclear power plant? B) Harness all sadness over having to say "President Cain C) capture the energy from all the fapping of the visible hands pondering Vice Presidents Bachman and Palin (multiple VPs endorsed by Willard "Mitt" Romney and Huntsman.)

    1. prommie

      Arpaio is the reason that, whenever my depression starts to lift and I see something good and beautiful in the world and I start to think that humanity is not completely hopeless, I quickly snap out of it and return to the pit of despair wherein I dwell. And oh, hey, did you see that a recent study found that depressed people are actually more able to objectively assess a situation more accurately than those damned annoying cheerful optimists, who are blind to the negatives and see life through rose-colored glasses?

  40. James Michael Curley

    I say go with the electric fence. It gives the body a nice tingly feeling and does not impart that 'natural gas' taste to your pizza.

    1. SorosBot

      I disagree; Romney has a decent chance of winning in the general election, especially if the unemployment rate is still 9% in November 2012, but the rest of the clowns running for the nomination will get clobbered if nominated. I hope the GOP nominates the most unelectable, obviously crazy idiot they can.

      1. El Pinche

        Unfortunately, I think it will be Romney. The GOP cromagnon base loves to grunt and squeal in delight with the latest far right radical star candidate. But instinctively the GOP will choose on electability which is Mitt Mintcake Romney.

      2. Biel_ze_Bubba

        GOPtards in Congress will make damn sure it's at least 9% come next November. Question is, will the voters figure it out?

  41. crybabyboehner

    Here is fruit for the crows to pluck
    For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck
    For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop
    Here is a strange and bitter crop

  42. Pat_Pending

    Angry self-hating negro likes North Korea and lynching. Oh and killing with cholesterol and pandering to whitey.

    Sorry, suddenly really pissed off right now.

      1. Pat_Pending

        Nah, it's a cover for deep-seated self-loathing. Dubya and Clarence Thomas have the same problem.

  43. slowhansolo

    This is a former deputy chairman of the Kansas City Federal Reserve.

    On the bright side, the dumber Americans get, the more we'll be able to mock the intelligent people who need to pander to them. Who needs fiddles when you have an endless soundtrack of horrified chuckles?

    1. proudgrampa

      "This is a former deputy chairman of the Kansas City Federal Reserve."

      We have always assumed that being a Federal Reserve governor implied some intellectual capacity. Given what we've seen from Helicopter Ben (and others), I am less and less sure of that.

  44. gurukalehuru

    I notice that nobody clicked on the "Herman Cain is pro drunk-driving" linkie thingie. I was just surprised to find that NRA stands for National Restaurant Association. So many years, so many misunderstandings.

  45. chascates

    Look, it's going to be cheaper just to nuke Mexico and every country south of it. And Halliburton et al. could get the contracts to clean up the aftermath and find any economic riches.


  46. owhatever

    Time to support Herman with all of our little Euro Socialist Commie Occupado hearts. He is a Democratic wet dream for an opponent. Designed by the DNC on SIMPolitix.

  47. Rotundo_

    So we are basically looking at a buffoon african american version of Reagan here: Dumb as a sack of rocks but listens to the marching orders pretty well. In this case, he doesn't seem as well scripted as Saint Ronald of Hollywood, but maybe the Kochs will buy him a better grade of handler and a shock collar for when he says something unacceptably stupid. If he starts getting jumpy making speeches I've called it.

  48. Snarkfest

    I much prefer the "Herman Cain is the Anti-Christ" movement:

    The name "Herman" is from Hari-Mann translated from the old Germanic 'Army Man' or 'Leader of the Army'.

    In Greek and Jewish translations, "Cain" refers to the Son of Satan:

    In the Greek New Testament, Cain is referred to as εκ του πονηρου.In at least one translation this is rendered "from the evil one", while others have "of the evil one." Some interpreters take this to mean that Cain was literally the son of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. In Jewish tradition, the serpent (Hebrew nahash נחש) from the Garden of Eden was father to firstborn Cain.

    So..this means Herman Cain's full name translates to "Leader of the Army of Satan". http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread765321/

  49. schvitzatura

    Roll back Hart-Celler Act of 1965 and restore Johnson–Reed Act of 1924.

    Easy peasy, no ching chong Japanese-y.

  50. DeathofKoalas

    To be fair, ALL entrances to The USA should have a similar health warning…

    Welcome to America. IT WILL KILL YOU.

  51. Negropolis

    Herman Cain '12: "But, some of my best friends are (________)!"

    Let's juxtapose something. The current president is at the King memorial the other day offering an eloquent speech about the perfecting of our union via the Civil Rights movement, and in the same time frame Herman Cain is down South joking about killing Mexicans. This is too easy.

    What a degenerate bunch of fucking fucks the Republican Party has become.

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