Hello again! Your #OWS correspondent has returned from a weird, rainy night full of …. cleaning? In the above YouTube movie, we see two park savages frantically trying to sweep away all of the bodily fluids and hypodermic needles that have accumulated over the last few weeks in Zuccotti Park. (Is that soapy water, or “runoff” from the constant finger-bang Groupons that are going on at all hours of the day, according to Sean Hannity? We’ll never know/of course it’s semen!) This OCD cleaning session was part of a malicious and extremely successful plan to make Michael Bloomberg and his billionaire pals looks like complete douchebags — and hooray, it worked! Poor (but actually very rich) Michael Bloomberg! Maybe the FBI could murder everyone in Zuccotti Park and then blame Iran? No, that would be retarded.
And here’s a strange video compilation, which includes exclusive MTV “Cribs” footage of the interior of our ramshackle tarp fort:
Let’s see, what else? Oh right, a policeman “punched a protester on the side of the head” this morning, for no reason whatsoever.
In other News: Your humble correspondent will probably be teargassed tomorrow afternoon in Times Square! Look for him on the teevee news! (He’ll be the one curled up in a little fetus ball, crying and crying as police boots flatten him into the world’s saddest crepe.)