BRING BACK FORCED MARRIAGES!  5:44 pm October 14, 2011

Rick Santorum Warns America About Dangerous Single Mom Voters

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Picture shortly to be replaced by a screen grab from video of Rick Santorum's dropout speech.Pea-brained dingus Rick Santorum’s fading vanity campaign may only be garnering him support from a statistically zero quantity of voters, but he is still the most likely to be voted “president of being a human-shaped dildo,” in our hearts! Santorum has identified the shadowy cabal of struggling single moms as America’s True Enemies of Freedom, because they tend to vote Democratic, i.e. “for the free government monies.” So greedy of them! So according to Rick’s plan, what America should be doing, to solve poverty and thereby eliminating the entire left wing as a bonus (only poors vote Democrat, see), is forcing these ladies to get a man, to straighten them out. Easy as that!

From an interview transcribed by Right Wing Watch:

Santorum: Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government.

PolitiFact, meanwhile, tells Santorum to get a life:

“There hasn’t been a rise in single-parent families during this time that child poverty has increased, whereas the job market you can see directly. The parents are losing their jobs, whether there are two parents or one,” [Urban Institute senior researcher Austin Nichols] said.

“All the recent changes in child poverty and more broadly in all poverty have been due to changes in the job market.”

Yeah yeah, whatever. Everyone is missing the point here, which is that Rick Santorum is the straightest married straight person ever to be straight, so everybody just be super straight married like Rick Santorum. That was the only point. He’s straight. [Right Wing Watch/ PolitiFact]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 243 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] October 14, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Ah, that photo. It warms my cold, black, shriveled heart.

KobayashiMaru October 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Don't it, though?

Hey, has there been a blingee contest with that picture?

GunToting[Redacted] October 14, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Eh, that would be like putting a slice of delicious pizza on a hot fudge sundae… Too much of a good thing.

emmelemm October 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm

The photo Blings itself.

Geminisunmars October 14, 2011 at 8:05 pm

There is no way to gild Santorum.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:15 am

Perhaps if we set them all on fire, it would *warm*?

WVUer21 October 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Sad Rick Santorum is sad.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:16 am

Not sad enough.

DrunkIrishman October 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm

You know who had a single mother? HITLER.

Oh wait…

HarryButtle October 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Dude, you're not supposed to give us the answer! It takes all the fun out of the game.

Spurning Beer October 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Alex Trebec? I mean, What is Alex Trebec?

DrunkIrishman October 14, 2011 at 6:28 pm

I AM NEW TO THIS

littlebigdaddy October 14, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Barry O!

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

He already said Hitler.

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Saddam Hussein was the single mother of all single battles.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:11 pm

HUZZAH!

Douché October 15, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Clinton.

hollywooddood October 14, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Damn right! Everybody knows single mothers bankrupted the economy.

Maman October 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Everybody knows that single mothers should be sent to Magdalene houses and their children adopted by decent people.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 14, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Or Florence Crittenden. Those were the good old days. "Laura's going to live with her aunt in Topeka for a while."

YasserArraFeck October 14, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Uh-oh – not Topeka. Knocked up whore's gonna get her ass whupped there

James Michael Curley October 17, 2011 at 10:07 am

She's visiting her cousin in Pittsburgh.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:20 am

Everybody except those horrible, horrible single mothers, of course. The whores.

BlueStateLibel October 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

It was all that coupon derivatives trading they did!

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:12 pm

S & H Green stamps! FTW!

Terry October 15, 2011 at 9:10 am

Single mothers in Congress who deregulated banking, then single mothers on Wall Street and various investment firms and shady real estate ventures.

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 5:49 pm

OSM – Occupy Single Mothers! It's time we fought back, sheeple!!1!!111

HistoriCat October 16, 2011 at 8:55 pm

I had a chance to occupy a single mother once … why did I pass that up??

KobayashiMaru October 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm

I betcha those Santorum kids wish they had a single mom.

PuckStopsHere October 14, 2011 at 5:54 pm

TBCWL. The Big Cat Walks Late. To Win the week.

veritass October 14, 2011 at 6:26 pm

WELP. This one is over.

Limeylizzie October 14, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Win for the ages.

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm

EPIC WEEN

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:21 am

You leave my bits outa this.

user-of-owls October 14, 2011 at 11:01 pm

From outta nowhere. How'd you get your hands on "Wonderboy"?

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Truly, Jennifer Aniston is a bigger security threat to America than Al Queda, the Taliban, and the Iraqi insurgency combined.

finallyhappy October 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm

She isn't a mom- yet

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Jennifer Anniston? What about the Octomom?? She must be a Super-Dem. Maybe those are Weiner's kids. He tweeted her his sperm.

Spurning Beer October 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Those single mothers don't need government; they need to get laid. By a real Republican man.

But how can you tell if a man is a Republican?

emmelemm October 14, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Because his dick doesn't get hard in the presence of a naked lady?

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:23 am

But when a nekky boy walks by, oh, yes, the bell on his boybits goes dingle dangle dingle.

HarryButtle October 14, 2011 at 6:01 pm

By his wide stance.

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 6:02 pm

By how much lipstick he puts on prior to sex? By the fact that he only likes to PIITB?

Callyson October 14, 2011 at 6:05 pm

The former Mrs Joe Walsh is on the phone and wishes to take issue with that remark…

littlebigdaddy October 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

With a crowbar? Oh, wrong joke.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:24 am

No, no, I like where this is going.

HelmutNewton October 14, 2011 at 6:51 pm

By seeing how unhappy his long-suffering wife is.

unclejeems October 14, 2011 at 6:57 pm

. . . if he's an obese white male driving a full-sized pickup truck with a gun rack, a dog in the passenger's seat, and one of those little decals that has a kid pissing on a rival brand name of truck. Doesn't matter which one.

And of course the dick. Like that other bumper-sticker says, "Nice truck–sorry about your penis."

Swampgas_Man October 15, 2011 at 1:54 am

Just ask his rent-boy.

Terry October 15, 2011 at 9:13 am

"But how can you tell if a man is a Republican?"

If he's tapping his toes in the men's room at Union Station, then pontificating in Congress about the evils of homosexuality?

If he's preaching hard core morality from a pulpit then doing meth with teenage male prostitutes?

If he's married, but pays a hooker to let him crap in a diaper?

If he leveraged his family name and money to a career that he would have been utterly incapable of earning on his own?

If his political philosophy can be boiled down to "I got mine, screw you".

PuckStopsHere October 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Well, he has eliminated my desire for Rick Santorum.

Nostrildamus October 14, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Elimination and santorum go hand in hand.

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 7:23 pm

It's kind of hard to eliminate something you never had to begin with, no?

chascates October 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Single moms to GITMO!!!

weejee October 14, 2011 at 5:59 pm

On Ryanair aeroplanes with no bathrooms.

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Most of 'em are already in a Gitmo of their own making. Instead of being waterboarded, they're drowning in debt.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I just can't resist this:

Brave face of manful resolve on the failed candidate, weary resignation in the dutiful spouse, oldest daughter thinking, "No White House wedding for me, goddammit," son envisioning his Columbine-style rampage, and youngest with doll in matching dress just telling it all in one face: "Why, Jeebus? WHY?"

weejee October 14, 2011 at 6:01 pm

"Why, Jeebus? WHY?"

Because, contrary to popular belief, Jeebus has a perverse sense of irony.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 14, 2011 at 6:40 pm

E.g. this knee-slapper in Matthew 25:40:

Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

And at midnight there was a cry made, "Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him."

Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said unto the wise, "Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out."

But the wise answered, saying, "Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves." And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, "Lord, Lord, open to us."

But he answered and said, "Verily I say unto you, I know you not." Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

weejee October 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Which obviously means doG wants us to get rid of them filthy hippie compact fluorescent bulbs.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 14, 2011 at 6:49 pm

G-d ordains LEDs, which produce a slightly less creepy-looking pallor.

Chet Kincaid October 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm

The moral: always bring your own lube to the orgy. Right?

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:27 am

Sounds right.

tessiee October 14, 2011 at 9:35 pm

??
I guess you had to be there.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 15, 2011 at 9:51 am

He killed.But “seriously,” I was looking for the part of Matthew where Jeebus says something like, “Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me,” which I think is s beautiful parable that expresses the (maybe only) good part of Xtianity. Stumbled across this ten virgins stuff and thought I’d wandered off into the Koran. So the kingdom of heaven is like ten virgins? Awesome, if you like that sort of thing.

Pragmatist2 October 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I think that we all need to think long and hard about whether there isn't something worse the word "santorum" can be made to stand for than "The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."
That somehow just doesn't seem vile enough.

Spurning Beer October 14, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Okay, I'll bite:

The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the product of anal sex in Rick Santorum's anus.

weejee October 14, 2011 at 6:02 pm

More vile? Well how about this earlier post?

Limbaugh n. a painful carbuncle on the buttocks of the body politic usually with one or more openings draining pus onto the skin. It is usually caused by oral infection, most commonly by radio transmission to the brains of the intellectually-challenged.

yyyaz October 14, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Shorter def.: bloviating pus sac

tessiee October 14, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Um…
*thinks*
Santorum with lumps in it?

starfanglednut October 14, 2011 at 10:04 pm

gak.

DahBoner October 14, 2011 at 5:54 pm

"Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household."

Really?

I thought it was n**gers on welfare and illegal messicans stealing our social security money???

Spurning Beer October 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Right. Aren't single mothers the ones who didn't get an abortion?

DahBoner October 14, 2011 at 6:16 pm

And they got some dick at least once, so they can't be that ugly…

yyyaz October 14, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Um, no offense DB, but the term "double bagger" didn't invent itself.

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I thought it was only dead voters registered by ACORN.

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I wish we could post pics on teh Wonkette about now. Today I found and took a picture of a sign that said ACORN PETROLEUM CO. And you thought ACORN had been driven out of business, but it looks like they just went over to the other side!

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Those bastards. It's not just dead people, now they're registering fossilized plant material too!

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Rick will never work for Fox. He can't stay on message.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:28 am

All that santorum makes it difficult for him not to slip and slide.

GunToting[Redacted] October 14, 2011 at 8:20 pm

True story… I'm on the board of my shooting club. At the meeting last night we spent 45 minutes debating how we should make our donation to the local food bank (most of the people on the board are retired and have no opportunity to argue/make others miserable other than their wives who stopped listening some time in the Ford administration). One of the members related an anecdote about the local food dropoff (basically a box in a general store). He said that people would drop stuff off, and the next day, Cadillacs and Lincoln Town Cars would pull up and grab the good stuff.

Sure as shit, he was playing the "welfare queens in Cadillacs" card. Granted, there are no coloreds where he lives, but I was stunned to actually witness this sentiment in the wild.

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Sure that wasn't rich people in Cadillacs and Lincoln Town Cars grabbing the good stuff? More than one way to stay rich.

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2011 at 11:00 pm

What he failed to mention was that those "Cadillacs" were thirty years and 200,000 miles old before they were even bought.

schvitzatura October 15, 2011 at 8:35 am

Even the ones that have had "improvements" made: donk-erized/scraper-ized Cadillac Sedan de Moulignon wit lambos, twankie deuces, and paint job grape jelly, boieeeee?

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Diamond in the back, sun-roof top?

Negropolis October 15, 2011 at 2:17 am

Well, that's what you get for being a member of a shooting club, quite frankly. They aren't exactly known for being bastions of tolerance and diversity.

Chet Kincaid October 15, 2011 at 9:34 am

I've always thought the gun clubs and NRA-affiliated institutions need a massive infusion of coloreds and spanish, for the lulz and to compromise Buckra's race-war defensive schemes.

GunToting[Redacted] October 15, 2011 at 10:08 am

Hey, I love to shoot, and most people are generally normal, or at least keep their batshit opinions to themselves.

Swampgas_Man October 15, 2011 at 1:57 am

Don't forget teh Gai.

Callyson October 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm

My mom was a single mom, and she voted Democratic. No, not because she wanted a handout: she simply saw firsthand that it's tough economically for *lots* of people, and she gave a damn about others.
So to quote Baconzgood:
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK!

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

That's right, Rick — people vote for the government that's going to give them the most goodies. It certainly has nothing to do with having the government that'll protect the environment, not give huge breaks to corporations and not drag us into war and mire us in poverty as a nation.

Also, way to call all the working single moms in the country shiftless and self-centered. You can always whine about how you tell it like it is too much to get votes. Asshole.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 14, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Santorum lives so deep inside his own asshole that he has no idea how hurtful a statement like that one is. It's funny when that solipsism leads him to oppose all the man-on-dog sex he imagines must be happening, or when you see the hurt look in his eyes at the debates when one of the other candidates slips a knife between his ribs. Now he seems purely malicious.

I hate to say it, but I just do not care for Mr Santorum anymore.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:32 am

His sheer meanness amazes me. Of all people to beat up on, he picks struggling single mothers — MOTHERS!!! Just like JESUS' FUCKING MOTHER!!

Christ almighty, what a sad and sorry piece of shit you have to be to go after women who chose to keep their babies and are struggling to keep them alive.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:31 am

Way to beat up on the weakest and most vulnerable members of society. Mothers with young children and no helpmeet/partner.

What a fucking slimy piece of fucking SHIT … but I repeat myself.

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 5:58 pm

"You can always whine about how you tell it like it is too much to get votes."

"They can't handle me, Man, because I'M TOO REAL!!"

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

HEARTBREAK RIDGE! OOHRAH!

lochnessmonster October 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

He is just so dense he has no idea he is wasting his money and our time with his campaign…You'd think his wife would try to save the family the embarrassment.

Chichikovovich October 14, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Oh, I'm sure it isn't *his* money that he's wasting. But I'm OK with that. Because he's spending money given by people fanatical enough to look at Rick Santorum and think "I want that guy for president so much that I'll give him money". Money in such peoples' hands is a dangerous thing. If the money wasn't going to Santorum it would be going to Operation Rescue or some equally horrifying cause. Santorum's campaign is probably the least amount of damage that money could do. And just think of all the jobs created for snarkeurs.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Agreed. Anyone that is giving money to the Santorum campaign was never using it for a useful purpose in the first place.

Rosie_Scenario October 17, 2011 at 9:18 am

If his wife knew the meaning of "embarrassment" she would never have married Rick and spawned all those Santori.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 5:58 pm

It's amazing how many people there are that get kicked in the nuts economically on a regular basis, that choose to vote Democratic.
Wonder why that is?

ProudLibunatic October 14, 2011 at 6:08 pm

It's also amazing so many that get kicked in the nuts economically vote Republican.
Idiots!

Mumbletypeg October 14, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Your move, Bill Bennett.

emmelemm October 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Your move, Candice Bergen.

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm

He's on the hopper…does that count?

Indiepalin October 14, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Let's have a heart here. Fecal Boy hasn't worked in five years. He has a large family, including a batshit daughter that scares the devil out of anyone crazy enough to approach her. She is going to require significant long term care expenses, at least until she is old enough to snare a man. All Fecal Boy wants is a high level cabinet job or, failing that, a slot on Fox as Greta's manservant.

FlownOver October 15, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Santorum = Hecubus?

EdFlintstone October 14, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I thought the reason there are so many single moms is because they dated Rick Santorum.

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:36 am

Oh, Christ, no. No woman who dated him would want to fuck him without an ironclad contract specifying LOTS of money; and any woman who did wouldn't want to keep a resulting baby, which is probably why he's so anti-choice.

x111e7thst October 14, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Single women need a man. And a fetus-inna-jar.

ChurchofRealism October 14, 2011 at 6:06 pm

What about the dead fetus in a jar vote?

RadioOcupados October 14, 2011 at 6:06 pm

This, Santorum for the single moms, and his 0-0-0 plan should should get him by all the assholes.

Nostrildamus October 14, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Zeroes and Rick Santorum. There must be a joke in there somewhere …

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Rick, is that your IQ or the number of sentient parents you had?

FritzBrogan October 14, 2011 at 6:07 pm

You see … all women have an innate "desire for government" and if they were "governed" daily by christly husband-violence, they wouldnt desire the authority of their pretend boyfreind Obama so much. Simple. All-american dudes like you and me are self-reliant heroes who want nothing more than to provide. We can't help it if being emotionally and physically dominant is part of that responsibility. You stay home with the kids tonight hon .. , ill be down at the bar with the boys drawing up regime change plans for the developing world, they desire my government to you know…

FuzzyPlushroom October 14, 2011 at 6:08 pm

A missed opportunity to shout about them quares? Santorum's slippery. Err, slipping. I meant that he's slipping.

Mumbletypeg October 14, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Oh, brilliant. The linked webpage states:

"Correction: An earlier version of this post transcribed Santorum's remarks as
'if you want to reduce the Democratic appendage.' ”
<a href="http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/santorum-curtail-single-motherhood-reduce-democratic-appendage

” target=”_blank”>http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/santorum-curtail-single-motherhood-reduce-democratic-appendage
Vagina-wielding usurpers notwithstanding, I think Rick's evading the thrust of the actual issue that's vexing him.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

What is Rick's wide stance on the Democratic appendage?

ThundercatHo October 14, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Maybe if deadbeat dads like, Rep. Joe Walsh, paid their child support then some single mothers wouldn't need to rely on the government. Asshole. Oh, if there were a dildo shaped like Rick Santorum, I wouldn't want it anywhere near my ladyparts.

Barrelhse October 14, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I would hope that there is no dildo shaped like Rick Santorum, but at the same time I can't help but notice that Rick Santorum is shaped like a dildo. Paradox?

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 6:01 pm

"if there were a dildo shaped like Rick Santorum, I wouldn't want it anywhere near my ladyparts."

Rick Santorum is already a dildo shaped like Rick Santorum.

BTWBFDIMHO October 14, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Bristol, you should vote for Obama, honey.

Spurning Beer October 14, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Rick's talking about SMILFs.

Not_So_Much October 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Right? I'm ok if they lose their desire for government. But not the, you know, other kind.

As Richie Cunningham once said, 'hot to trot'.

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2011 at 6:27 pm

or SMILFBITK

Single Mothers I Would Like to Force Back Into The Kitchen

Tundra Grifter October 14, 2011 at 7:47 pm

All of them, Katie.

iburl October 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I'd call him a name, but he's already named Santorum.

HarryButtle October 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Santorum: Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government.

Or, you know, you could do something to make it a little less tough economically on single mothers…something that isn't reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale? I'm just sayin'…

edgydrifter October 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Yeah, and if women stayed in the kitchen cooking for their men instead of stealing jobs like common sluts there'd be virtually zero unemployment. And if we took the vote away from them (because, seriously…) then men could get back to making America great for men again! Plus, NO MORE DEMOCRATS!!!

C'mon Rick, you know you're dying to say it. Give in. Embrace your id.

tessiee October 14, 2011 at 9:45 pm

"Yeah, and if women stayed in the kitchen cooking for their men instead of stealing jobs like common sluts"

They'd somehow become lazy welfare queens.
Ya can't win.

neiltheblaze October 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Rick should just suck some dick and get it over with. It would change his life.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Santorum has identified the shadowy cabal of struggling single moms as America’s True Enemies of Freedom, because they tend to vote Democratic, i.e. “for the free government monies.” So greedy of them!

Silly Single Moms!

If only they knew how to play the game like Amurka's giant multinational corporations, they'd have wars thrown for their bank accounts only, FAUX Nooze networks cheering every job they off-shore, and both Rethuglican and Rethuglican Lite™ Democratic politicians competing to spit-shine their anuses.
~

Barrelhse October 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Mothers are cunts, huh Rick?

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi October 14, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Lost Employment
Destroys Families
damages children

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2011 at 6:23 pm

If Santorum wants to be taken seriously he needs to take this up a notch and get Brezhnev style eyebrows. I'm talking more square centimeters of eyebrow than Ron Paul has hair on his head.

rocktonsam October 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm

are any of these single moms on match.com?

that would be cool

arihaya October 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm

single mothers are bad

on the other hand, deadbeat dads like Joe Walsh are heroic, patriotic Americans !

JustPixelz October 14, 2011 at 7:57 pm

I don't think he said that. Pretty sure he said women should have affordable access to abortion, so avoid becoming Demoncrats.

SarahsBush October 14, 2011 at 6:26 pm

"So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families…"

Sounds kinda gay.

OneYieldRegular October 14, 2011 at 6:31 pm

I read that as "two peasant families."

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Now THESE are eyebrows, Mr. Santorum. Are you man enough?
http://phobos.ramapo.edu/~theed/Cold_War/d_Brezhn

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:43 am

Even Ron Paul has to rely on eyebrow-merkins.

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Here's another idea to revive Santorum's campaign – take a little idea from Simcity4 – have a secret word you can enter in your computer and it gives you $100 billion dollars. This would get more votes than 999 for sure.

OneYieldRegular October 14, 2011 at 6:32 pm

This is not a campaign. This is a cry for psychological help.

coolhandnuke October 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Rick Santorum's 8-8-8 tax structure plan:
Increase taxes on any penis over 8 inches.
Heavily tax, then incarcerate, any single mom out of the house past 8 pm.
Watch reruns of Eight is Enough (isn't Willie Aames dreamy) then masturb8.

NYNYNYjr October 14, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Rick Santorum did not write the Protocols of the Edlers of the Daycare Center, but he can provide you with a copy.

Barrelhse October 14, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Edlers are like pedophiles, aren't they?

paris biltong October 14, 2011 at 6:42 pm

This argument plays right into the hands of Romney and Huntsman, the only candidates who can offer to marry all those single mothers.

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Santorum / Quayle '88 !!!

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Herb Cain/Papa John's 2012!

Guppy06 October 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm

"Why? Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families(.)"

Because actually fixing the economy is just not an option.

edgydrifter October 14, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Ding Ding Ding! Exactly.

OneYieldRegular October 14, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Really. Why not just come right out and say, "We don't CARE about fixing the economy. We CARE about reducing the Democratic advantage."

Uh. I guess he DID just come right out and say that.

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Win of the Week.

At the end of the day, they don't want to economy to be fixed, because to be honest, they don't see anything wrong with it beyond the fact that's it's not being driven into the ground fast enough for them.

John McCain said it back in 2008. They believe that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. They truly do. We could go into a depression, and so long as they have theirs the economy is "working".

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Fixed economy + lower unemployment = Obama re-election.

That's the only formula the GOP cares about, and they don't care how many Americans end up broke and homeless — they'll fuck over millions if they have to.

outragedcitizen October 14, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I wonder if Poo-splatter fucks his wife through a hole in a sheet like the "chaste" knights of the dark ages did. Just wondering.

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Would that be the left or the right eyehole in the sheet?

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Distinctly possible. Since 2004, Rick and the missus have been known in the Catholic Church as Knight and Dame of Magistral Grace of the Knights of Malta (an order dating back to The Crusades).

Barrelhse October 14, 2011 at 11:51 pm

In days of olde when knights were bold
And rubbers weren't invented,
They wrapped a sock around their cock
And babies were prevented.

schvitzatura October 15, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Sounds like something out of a Legendary Pink Dots or Men Without Hats song…do the Safety Dance with Princess Coldheart, wheee!

Jukesgrrl October 16, 2011 at 7:14 pm

LOL.Not that festive, though.More like a Monty Python Spanish Inquisition skit.

BlueStateLibel October 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Us ladiez will nevuh have our desire for government eliminated, Rick dear.

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 7:20 pm

You know what they say, once you go Big Government, you…well, I got nothing.

Chichikovovich October 14, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Once you go Big Gov, it'll always be your first choice for love.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:25 pm

What does Andrew Breibart have to do with this conversation?

HistoriCat October 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Neither Andy nor Ricky is gay! Not gay!! Not at all!!!

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 14, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Please wash off your human-shaped dildo, it looks like it's covered in santorum.

Mr_Holland October 14, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Santorum/Bachmann 1220 !!!

El Pinche October 14, 2011 at 6:54 pm

No surprise they're adding single moms to the GOP pile of hate (along with poors, veterans, firemen, policemen, blacks, gays, blue collar workers,… basically non-rich, non-fatass non-white sacks of shit). No worries. Santorum is the cherry on top of my pile of hate.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:26 pm

So, just who do they believe they can get to vote for them?

PalinzADummy October 15, 2011 at 2:46 am

At the rate they're going, they've only got old rich straight white males left. And fortunately, that's a – heh – dying constituency. (although not fast enough.)

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 10:15 pm

The same people who are going to buy all the crapo the corporations make after they sent all the jobs overseas?

HedonismBot October 14, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I really have to wonder how a party that goes out of its way to alienate every demographic in America can keep winning so many elections.
Oh wait. I remember. Money, heartless billionaires and teabaggers who don't know Santorum from Shinola. Sigh.

Darthhippy October 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

I move, that Santorum no longer gets a full name like Rick/Richard. We need a Dick Santorum. I suggest that all further links to Santorum goes by the short name Dick Santorum.

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I second this frothy motion.

BlueStateLibel October 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm

I third this smelly motion. I like the sound of "Dick Santorum."

Chet Kincaid October 14, 2011 at 8:06 pm

If you have Dick Santorum, stop screaming and call for emergency medical help right away.

BklynIlluminati October 14, 2011 at 7:03 pm

He is actively trying too sabotage his own campaign right? No one can be this monumentally stupid so it must be some sort of reverse genius where he pockets all the money runs away right? Wait i know the answer, i really do i was just hoping beyond hope that America could actually produce and allow a POS like Santorum to actually run for POTUS ugh.

Chichikovovich October 15, 2011 at 9:17 am

Sort of a political version of Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom? I can see it. There's a lot of money to be gained in the campaign finance game, as the Half-Governor is only the latest to prove, and if your campaign crashes spectacularly enough, who's going to demand an audit?

owhatever October 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Worthless and ungrateful single mothers should not be allowed to vote if they drive on interstate highways or use other forms of government handouts, like fire departments and national parks and the army.

There's something about the name "Rick" that is steadily eroding the IQ of the republican party.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2011 at 11:33 am

They do have a lot of Dicks, don't they?

proudgrampa October 15, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Well played!

Negropolis October 14, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Needz moar Maury.

Single mothers are people, too, my friend.

flamingpdog October 14, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Single mothers are incorporated?

dennis1943 October 14, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Mr.Squeaky Clean needs to go back to the convent………..oh wait! Can't create any more single mothers………..bad for the party………..

Trannysurprise October 14, 2011 at 7:27 pm

That girl in the front with the baby looks like a single mother. All this shit is her fault.

Barrelhse October 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Let her die!

Chet Kincaid October 14, 2011 at 7:30 pm

"So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government."

You can say that again!! Every time Government goes on tour, single Moms are out there flingin' diapers on the stage and breastfeeding in front of the hotel at all hours!

Chichikovovich October 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm

All you babies out there! Are you ready to ROCK!

Sharkey October 14, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Clearly, the vast majority of married people vote Republican.

Tundra Grifter October 14, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Call me hard to please, but when a candidate is polling below the margin of error, that's pretty much the end of the line.

weejee October 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm

and that is on a good day

Generation[redacted] October 14, 2011 at 7:59 pm

And that's when you go after the little-known "I hate single moms" vote.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:28 pm

I predict that next week, Santorum will be on the lips of all young Republiklans and will be the Flavor Of The Week.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2011 at 11:36 am

My neigbor, Marge Innovera, was a Santorum supporter. You're telling me she's switched allegiance?

Chichikovovich October 14, 2011 at 7:46 pm

I knew it was going to turn out to be Bristol Palin's fault somehow.

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Uh oh. I await Lou Sarah's tweet.

GOPCrusher October 14, 2011 at 10:29 pm

/END OF THREAD

Antispandex October 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm

OK, I hate to be mean (not really) but look at that picture again. That is a two parent family, and what real chance do those kids have? Here's what I see. Drug addled goth who hates her parents, a "confirmed bachelor" / public restroom stalker, and an obese domestic violence victim. Hey, I just call them like I see them.

Rotundo_ October 14, 2011 at 7:56 pm

It must be awful to be delusional enough to believe that you are worthy of representing the USofA when in fact you aren't fit to run the till at a quickee mart. Any normal candidate would have taken a look at their presence on the net and what the world had to say about them and considered it as they weighed the decision. With all search engines pointing toward the frothy mix definition who but a complete idiot and a severely reality impared one would still go ahead and run? Only Santorum would, I guess.

weej_bain October 14, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Santorum froths about:
1. Single mothers
2. Abortions

Ergo, he should tap Kansas City Bishop Robert Finn as his once and future VeePee. No to unmarried sexytime, no to abortions, and yes, yes, yes to a veritable santorum orgy of boy buggery.

sqeptiq October 14, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Like many right-wing moralizers, Santorum says single people just need to get married and that'll solve the poverty problem. But these moralizers ignore the fact that to a high degree, poverty prevents or destroys marriage.

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Oh you lieberal and your facty facts!!1! Who told you that — Rachel Madcow??

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2011 at 9:55 pm

People who choose a political party based on how much free stuff they'll get? Where'd they get that idea … Wall Street?

starfanglednut October 14, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Fecal Matter/Lube 2012!

user-of-owls October 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm

forcing these ladies to get a man, to straighten them out.

Meet your new mayor, Topeka.

user-of-owls October 14, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote.

Oh yes, political scientists have known for years that the demographic with the highest turnout rate is poor, single mothers who are routinely able to get time off without repercussion from one of their three slave-wage jobs, collect their impoverished children from the rat-infested 'day care' hovel, pay for a taxi to get across town to the polling station 'cuz the bus don't come round here and stand in line while upstanding middle class people sneer viciously at her crying snot-covered children who cry because they're hungry and proudly cast their ballots. On a Tuesday. Always. They never miss an election. And that's the only reason the Democrats win. We've known this for years.

I am so fucking angry I don't want a drink.

fuflans October 14, 2011 at 11:29 pm

damn owls. you make me want to march somewhere.

user-of-owls October 14, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I got the anger bear going tonight. Unfortunately.

spends2much October 14, 2011 at 11:06 pm

So, which state will be the first to demand that females who want to vote need to bring a marriage certificate with them to get a ballot? Alabama, this sounds like something you could handle!

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 10:22 pm

"So, which state will be the first to demand that females who want to vote need to bring a marriage certificate with them to get a ballot?"

I'm guessing we can rule out Kansas.

dopper0189 October 14, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Does anyone else get the feeling this guy never gets laid even by his wife? I wouldn't be surprised if his kids happened by artificial insemination.

HedonismBot October 14, 2011 at 11:16 pm

You know who else was conceived by artificial insemination? (Okay, I know, it's getting old…)

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2011 at 11:41 am

Jesus.

GunToting[Redacted] October 15, 2011 at 11:41 am

Louise Brown?

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 10:22 pm

He probably swam over her or something.

HedonismBot October 14, 2011 at 11:14 pm

My mother has been a single mother since I was a wee one. When I was little, and I happened to see Pat Robertson's "700 Club" for the first time, he straight up told me that my mom is what is wrong with the world. It was at that precise moment that I began to realize the hypocrisy of sanctimonious "Christian" politicians. I thank my lucky stars it happened so early in my life.
My mom votes Democratic. I'm proud of her.
Fuck Pat Robertson with Satan's ween. Rick Santorum too.

poncho_pilot October 15, 2011 at 4:03 am

when i went to private Catholic high school with mostly well off kids every now and then i would overhear one of them saying something negative about people on welfare or a few times, single mothers.

my single mom and i were on welfare for about five years when i was younger because we had to be. it's funny to me that kids who grow up never having experiences like wearing shitty $10 K-Mart shoes and hoping they don't fall apart before six or more months would have such an educated opinion on the poor.

fuflans October 14, 2011 at 11:32 pm

on the plus side, rick's personal story is going to be very very ugly.

you know it is.

(and that's not counting dan savage)

SilverTsunami October 15, 2011 at 12:09 am

The Republicans actually tried this with Welfare Reform in the late 1990s and it didn't work then either. You know why? Because single moms aren't the problem.

donner_froh October 15, 2011 at 1:32 am

Single mothers, double mothers…Santorum couldn't get his own mother to vote for him.

anteater October 15, 2011 at 1:33 am

He is aching for some peen.

Attila_T_Hun October 15, 2011 at 1:41 am

I had only a single mother and I turned out OK.
What's so great about multiple mothers?

GunToting[Redacted] October 15, 2011 at 11:45 am

Same here. Of course, I have a modicum of concern for my fellow man, so Rick probably feels that I didn't turn out well. Fuck Dick Santorum with a syphilitic ween.

Schmegeg October 15, 2011 at 2:59 am

Hey Rick, maybe those single moms would have benefited from some Planned Parenthood services??

dennis1943 October 15, 2011 at 7:04 am

I guess all those "family values" voters are happily married…………or at least "married"…..

Chichikovovich October 15, 2011 at 9:11 am

No snark. I had a good night's sleep and I'm still livid about this despicable creep. Along with "man on dog" this might be the most shameful thing he has ever said, and there's a library of material to choose from. The most vulnerable people in our society, many working multiple low-paying jobs, no health insurance, so just one serious childhood illness away from destitution (and let's not forget that St. Rick the Upstanding originally got to the Senate by defeating Harris Wofford, whose main "issue" was universal health insurance), and Rick decides to stick the knife in, in the hope of gaining some extra campaign donation money (moocher!) and a possible fraction of a percent in the polls for a cause that even he must realize is hopeless.

And how hurtful can someone be? A woman finishes her second shift waiting tables and rushes to pick up her child(ren) from another single mother she trades babysitting with because she had to choose between professional childcare and feeding her children. She finally puts the child(ren) to bed – a little late but how else can she have time to talk and play with them – and sits down exhausted to watch the battered secondhand TV that a guy at work gave her a few years ago when he bought a big flatscreen (and which, according to people like you, makes her well-off) to hear you calling her a leech, a sponger, a parasite. Who votes only so that she might pick up a few extra bucks a week in food stamps – or more likely so that her food stamps might not get cut even further. In presumed contrast to the Koch brothers and their like, who support the Republicans with millions of dollars because it brings them tax cuts that return them several times more millions.

You are fond of saying "The Democrats are relativists. They don't believe in evil." Perhaps that caricature is true of a handful, but most of us (and whatever morally centred people may still remain Republicans) do believe in evil. And we recognize it in you.

It's unlikely, but perhaps in a few decades as death approaches, you will have a moment of clarity, and realize just how low you have sunk. And you may see this speech as one of the instants where your hateful, grasping, punitive soul was most tarnished. And you will see, as we already do, that you have – through your own choices, words, and actions – transformed yourself into a vile, loathsome, creature. Drenched in hatred and sin. A contemptible human being.

GunToting[Redacted] October 15, 2011 at 11:48 am

Testify. Santorum is an evil, despicable person who deserves to be mocked and humiliated. I'd expect him to turn up as the new host of the "700 Club," but he prays to the wrong flavor of Invisible Sky Gandalf.

ThundercatHo October 15, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Dayum. That was good, thx. How sad that this can be said about almost all prominent Republican politicians.

Jukesgrrl October 17, 2011 at 1:24 am

If I could give you extra p, you'd get it for every Harris Wofford reference. If only …

Chet Kincaid October 15, 2011 at 10:18 am

All you single mothers! (All you single mothers!)
All you single mothers! (All you single mothers!)
Well you never shoulda let him put his thing in it
Not unless he went ahead and put a ring on it
Slutty Democrats will let you get away with it
But the Plutocrats are never gonna pay for it
Wuh uh oh, San-to-rum, wuh uh oh, San-to-rum…

schvitzatura October 15, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Rick's sorry Ms. Jackson [OOOH]
He is for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
He should 'pologize a trillion times

thebeatgoeson October 15, 2011 at 2:34 pm

*ding ding ding!!!* We have a winner!

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm

With apologies to Cee Lo Green:

I see you drivin' round town with your frothy mix, I'm like
Fuck You!
I guess your sorry-ass family's just a photo prop, so
Fuck You!
and fuck them too.
You know if I had money, you still wouldn't be funny.
(I really hate your ass right now)
I see you drivin' round town with your frothy mix, I'm like
Fuck You!

proudgrampa October 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Wow. Just wow.

Rick is a Dick.

moar_plz October 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm

OCCUPY SINGLE MOTHERS!!!

tessiee October 15, 2011 at 9:29 pm

"Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote."

I know, right?
Can you even believe these pain in the ass single mothers? I mean, what are they thinking of, voting for the people who are going to make their lives better instead of the people who are going to make their lives worse?
*pinches bridge of nose in exasperation*
We shoulda seen this coming when we gave chicks the vote, I tells ya.

jzgplj October 16, 2011 at 8:33 am

Rick Santorum, a complete fucking moron.

ttommyunger October 16, 2011 at 6:32 pm

If anyone would know the plight of a single mom it would be little Ricky. I have long suspected he is a single mom trapped in a perverted douchebag's body.

DemonicRage October 17, 2011 at 9:13 am

I hope that Romney picks this douche as his running mate, and they both completely turn off the electorate–aside from the crazies.

James Michael Curley October 17, 2011 at 11:12 am

Santorum also offered one more reason that he was the superior candidate.

“Experience matters,” he said. “When that phone call comes at 3 o’clock in the morning, ladies and gentleman, I will be up and waiting for the call because I will know what’s going on in the world around us. You won’t have to get me out of bed!”

"I will be so pumped on cafine pills, meth and Xanax I will nuke (insert muslim nation here) into the next century"

Liberalkiller January 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm

What needs to happen to welfare moms who vote democrat is that they need to be placed in concentration camps and and exposed to the facts that they are single because they are sluts and the tax payers will not be accountable for their stupidity.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2011 at 11:19 am

But only five of them are oiled. For the variety, I suppose.

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