Rick Perry's Wife Concludes Everyone Hates Him Because He Is Christian
Where has Rick Perry been hiding? Why does everyone hate him now? Is it for the most obvious reason that he is a weird toad who ritually tortures hair products and most often looks like he is asleep every time he tries to get a few words out in a debate? NO, WORSE: he refuses to show up on the teevee. He did only two interviews with CNBC between the last two GOP debates, on account of being a coward. And if there is exactly one kind of person that the tense crowd of teabagger Americans must fear and distrust as a rule -- right after the Muslins -- it is someone who hates teevee. (Conversely, this is why teabaggers love Herman Cain, who has been on the kable programz 999,999 times in the last two weeks.) But, eh, that sounds like a very *reasonable* explanation, which is against the Bible. Rick's wife Anita has a different, more insane take on the whole situation: Americans hate Rick Perry, it turns out, because Americans hate Jesus.
SO LOOK, EVERYBODY. Jesus picked Rick Perry to be President, you know, the actual Jesus guy in charge of Earth, but apparently nobody reads Jesus's spam letter voter memos anymore. Therefore, GO TO HELL, sayeth Anita Perry: "We are being brutalized by our opponents, and our own party. So much of that is, I think they look at him, because of his faith. He is the only true conservative – well, there are some true conservatives. And they’re there for good reasons. And they may feel like God called them too. But I truly feel like we are here for that purpose."
Suck it, rest of the GOP field. You're a squirmy pile of false idols, admit it.
Aaaand -- for fun -- a little more weirdness from Anita Perry, via MSNBC:
She likened Perry's decision to run to encountering a "burning bush," a reference to the Biblical story of Moses receiving a sign from God. And Anita Perry suggested that her husband's current difficulties were a "test."
"Last week, someone came up to Rick and gave him the scripture. He said Rick, I want to tell you God is testing you," she said.
Haha, that's kind of cute. God is testing Rick Perry! No, not really. It is Rick Perrywho is doing the testing, to the teevee audiences, by refusing to speak to them. [Scripps / MSNBC ]
Burning bush? Is that what happens after Ricky gets a fresh supply of Viagra?
Anita, talking about God "calling" on your hubby to run for President and then being "attacked" for your religion? Your husband is being attacked (as you portray it) because he is a half-wit dipshit who panders to wingnut prayer rallies but has no acumen concerning U.S. or world history. He's nothing more than a middle-aged Texas A&M yell leader who interferes with things he has no knowledge of.
Your hubby's Prayerapalooza was nothing more than a side show. Mean while, Texas burned in August and September and neither of you were there for the people of Texas.
Shut your pie holes Rick and Anita. We in Austin couldn't give a rats ass and we damn sure know that you haven't behaved as leaders in Texas,and your husband is not qualified to serve as President of the U.S.