A notorious hedge fund manager found guilty of the most blatant insider securities trading since the Reagan Era was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison today, which experts hope will “calm everyone the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution.” But the fat, diabetic billionaire’s mild prison sentence for his organized crime spree and $72 million in theft will probably just enrage everybody further — including millions of angry, jobless Americans who have never heard of Raj Rajaratnam before today. Besides, all of his co-conspirators at Goldman Sachs and McKinsey & Co. and various other evil Wall Street crime syndicates are getting away with their part. Rajaratnam himself — only in his 50s, and so degenerate that he would not even buy himself a couple of personal trainers and chefs to feed him properly — will require kidney transplants and will likely die before he’s released, so that he cheats justice until the very end. Still, prosecutors wanted a 19-year sentence, because people are freaking the hell out and it’s going to be guillotine time if we don’t throw these mobs some show-trial distractions.
Raj Rajaratnam, a self-made hedge fund tycoon convicted in the biggest Wall Street trading scandal in a generation, was ordered on Thursday to serve 11 years in prison, one of the longest sentences ever in an insider-trading case but far less than prosecutors sought.
The sentencing caps a prosecution, marked by secret wiretaps of Rajaratnam and his associates, that shocked the investment world. Rajaratnam once ran a $7 billion hedge fund, but was found guilty of running a network of informants who provided him with corporate secrets.
Ha ha, of course it “shocked the investment world.” Nobody’s supposed to get in trouble for criminal manipulation of the phony capital markets. [Reuters]
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It's because he's not white that he got sentenced that long.
Mustn't have contributed to the right campaign, either.
Yes, imagine if he was a brother…LIFE!
Raj Rajaratnam? Sounds foreign. Teabaggers like putting people with foreign sounding names in jail. When Mitt Wiggleston, III gets put in the pokey, let me know.
FWIW, the people who fed him inside info are also being prosecuted.
What the pitchfork-wielding rabble really want to know is, Will they take away his billions?
Vikram Pandit must be getting nervous.
I notice they got the "brown" one. Hmmm.
Better get the waterboard out!
Okay, OWS people. Job well done. You can all go home now.
Role-reversal; you'd likely do more time for holding-up Apu at the minimart.
http://a2.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/118/4...
oh sure but the black dude had a gun, no wait, a finger pointed at the bank teller…and "Paul R. Allen" is obviously a nice white banker/ job creator who REALLY meant well (srsly THAT is fucked up and sadly true…I'll have another drink now)
Who needs the Quick-ee Mart? Their floors are sticky-mart. Let's hurl a brick-ee mart.
Thanks a lot. Now that song is stuck in my head.
Of course, the only reason he got 11 years is because "Raj Rajaratnam" sounds musliny.
Besides, all of his co-conspirators at Goldman Sachs and McKinsey & Co. and various other evil Wall Street crime syndicates are getting away with their part.
We are but rabble waiting to be roused, Ken.
~
I am urgently aroused, and lack only a rabble to join with in turgid protest.
Justice Accomplished!
On the one hand this is precisely the kind of government interference in the operation of markets that keeps the job creators from really going out there and creating jobs. On the other, the guy is brown and has a funny name.
thanks, I so love those "on the one hand, on the other hand" analogies, it helps me to keep things in perspective, before I end up hating these fucks even more
Wall St.-fed politicians strenuously object to this seldom-used "class warfare" tactic.
Meanwhile, Congresslizard Joe Barton apologized to the Raja for the conviction and re-animated Johnnie Cochran for the appeal. Also, Congressanus Joe Barton yelled "you Lie!" at the court reporter.
In other news – Amnesty International and HRW want Canada to arrest GWB for torture…
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/10/13/14...
I'll just file that under "never gonna happen" shall I?
I put it in "gratuitous publicity stunt," but filing systems vary.
That's what cross-referencing is for!
the government in Ottawa said "there was no chance" of an arrest
Of course they have to say that or he wouldn't visit.
Also, I wonder if the Secret Service would pull their guns to prevent his arrest.
Actually, Canadian teabaggers rule Canada City at the moment, and they've committed all kinds of renditions and atrocities, themselves, in Afghanistan, so they really don't want to have GWB sing on the stand.
The judge rejected his request to remain under house arrest at his luxury Manhattan apartment while he pursues an appeal.
"The government is absolutely correct that insider trading is an assault on the free markets in a democratic society," the judge said.
So long as judges view the offense as an assault on the *free market* and not on Main Street, I'm not about to calm the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution…
The prosecutor wisely took note of the fact that "assauting the free market" is a serious crime these days.
He'd have gotten 30 days, with time off for good behavior, for merely fucking over the rest of America, to the tune of maybe $10 per citizen.
Had he been married to the free market, and had the offense been committed in Topeka…
He should be tarred and feathered. As a matter of fact, his name backwards is Jar Man-tar-a-jar. That's hindi for "I'm a fat, lying fuck who's going to die from eating too much ghee."
You've gotten a little curried away there.
He's talking naansense.
Still, it's samosa anyone's gotten for their crimes.
Fenny more of these insider-trading guys get a dosa justice like they deserve, I'd be surprised.
It's a sharbat most of these bastards just get away with it.
He din not curry favor with the judge
He's going to be looking out of a very tiny vindaloo from his jail cell.
Actually, it's Man tar a jar jar, which is even better.
Dag – you're right!
I see that Amalgamated Torch & Pitchfork is up 27% this week.
"Raj Rajaratnam." Wouldn't that be the punjabi equivalent of Roseanne Roseannadanna?
And Boutros Boutros-Whatever.
Erick Erickson.
Together with other foreign dignataries', it has the cadence of a cheerleading chant:
"Net-an-ya-hu
Raf-sthan-jan-i
Boutros, boutros, *thump* Gha-li!"
Back in the day > Me & other co-workers, gone batty w/ boredom, sitting around coming up w/ this shit.
I'm singing that to the "Na Na NA Hey Hey Goodbye" sports song. Keep up the good work, soldier!
And still more like Erick Erickson.
I don't know if that's racist or not. Either way, I like it.
Consider yourself upfisted.
U Nu, Burmese for Hmm.
And his brother in subcutaneous fat – Chris Christie.
A hedge fund criminal going to jail. I am proud to be American at this moment and pleased with this Obama fella going after him. Not as glamorous as blowing Bin Laden away but just as satisfying *sniff*
11 years in a Federal prison? What did he do, smoke a joint?
No, no, smoking a joint while brown and carrying a name with one "j" too many in it should have worked out to a minimum of 30 years, eligible for parole in 29.
So when his first gig as Fox/FoxNews Business contributor? You know it's coming.
Right after President Mitt Romney issues a formal pardon.
He starts in exactly 11 years.
Oh no Fox has pull, it will be live from cell block #3 Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary.
It'll follow the Ollie North Show.
Bring in G. Gordon and you could have an all felon prime time line up.
he's surely too dark for Fox?
He can be their correspondant behind bars!
I can grow a hedge for a lot less than 72 million bucks. Do I have a future in this town called Walls Treat that everyone's yammering about nowadays?
It's a like a SF or Horror movie… the brown guy gets it first.
Hopefully, Golden Sacks won't be caught washing itself while in the shower.
That's one down. How many to go?
Irresistible…
All of 'em, Katie.
The New Yorker has the full story on this guy, but it's mostly just a bunch of rich, evil fucks giving each other insider stock tips and then squealing on each other when they get caught.
Subplot 1: SEC and Federal Prosecutors can't do much to stop this kinda stuff.
Subplot 2: All this has almost nothing to do with our current economic woes.
Exactly. He's going to jail for screwing corporations, not people. That, we don't care about.
Well, screwing other investors of all stripes. If you have some skin in the stock trading game, these guys are cheating to their advantage and your detriment.
Did you miss the "corporations are people too, my friend!" meme during your sabbatical? (Welcome back!)
The Galleon case has been a major victory for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Manhattan. Out of 26 people, including traders, lawyers, executives and consultants charged in the case, 25 have pleaded guilty or were convicted at trial of supplying or trading on illicit stock tips. One is at large.
Can we at least take them to prison in tumbrils — just for old times' sake?
From the galleon to the gallows.
A move that is sure to send a chill throughout the hedge fund tycoon community.
They're not chillin yet. When they find their control of law enforcement is of limited value in restraining growth of the protests, they'll start chillin.
Oh, crap. He is nothing compared to the crooks in "Doing God's Work" Goldman-Sachs and JP Morgan, etc. Raj just didn't have a relationship with Ben Bernanke and his ilk.
What I want to know is, how many jobs did he create, thanks to the laughable 15% tax rate he paid on his hedge-fund earnings?
Gosh, how surprising that his last name is not something like Rockefeller or Sachs.
FIRING SQUAD!
Fuck that, too quick. He's Injun, right? Bury him up to his neck next to an anthill and pour honey on his head.
Unfortunately, what he allegedly did has little to do with the current economic situation. He was in a web of people who learn about business events before the average investor does. So, when a stock shoots up, his buddies get an unfair share of the increase in price. The high prices are the problem, not which fat cat gets the kibble. And this has nothing to do with the mortgage mess. Here is a good source of info: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/06/27/110...
Ha. The Caveman is faster than the Kitty (this time).
yes but i'm immature enough to be delighted.
So basically he had Charlie Sheen running around Manhattan on a scooter taking notes.
Wait, did he play Harold or Kumar?
Either way, he really let himself go.
Some attorneys connected to the case, on condition of anonymity, suggested that Tony Krvaric blows goats.
There has been no response from Krvaric.
The goats, however, were quick to neigh in.
Between the piracy, rumors of his connection to hedge fund scandals, and the goat sex, and remember that these are just rumors, it seems that Tony Krvaric should say something in response.
I could have sworn I heard "fap-fap-glomph-BLURGH-glomph-fap-fap-fap." Oh, you meant an intelligible response?
The Richie Riches threw the furriner under the bus. That'll teach him to think he could use the front door.
11 years will be 4 before you know it, and a $10 million fine is pocket change to this guy. Should have made it 50 years and $100 million.
I'm too lazy and stupid (I blame TV) to read the story so I'll just ask the question. What happened to all the money he stole? A golden parachute for after he's released or did he spend it all on lawyers trying to save his ass or did his victims get something back?
I'm not sure that it is all that easy to identify the "victims" here. The judge wasn't just speaking boilerplate when he said that it's "an assault on free enterprise". Say that Raj gets a call from a buddy: "Hey, I just heard that Fiery Death from the Sky Weapons Systems Inc. is going to report a much larger profits and declare a much larger than expected dividend next week. If you buy a bunch you'll make a killing." So he does. He buys them from people who are looking to sell anyway. Who did he buy them from? Would they have held the shares or not? How to measure their loss, if any? But the system as a whole is corroded by such a practice.
But I actually know nothing about this, so maybe somebody with a clue can chime in here.
Well, it's not like other people just "guess" those things. Knowledge is power – and money.
No, he buys option contracts, from people who don't know the stock is about to take off. He gets their shares cheap, and they miss out on the gains.
You don't make billions buying and selling actual shares, unless you're Warren Buffett.
You know the SEC is serious about Goldman Sachs this time, they just put this two-bit minor layer behind bars.
He'd have gotten 40 years for laying minors.
The Fox chyron reads: Raj Rajaratnam-D (thanks to another poster in an earlier thread for the idea).
Wake me when they arrest every other criminal hedge fund manager, stock broker and financial executive.
I'll listen to the local right wing radio news tonight, just so I can hear them butcher Raj's name.
Needz moar Curry Todd.
too bad he didn't get a blow job in a new york hotel room.
It is tragic, I agree. But isn't that really the human condition? (The male half at least.) For aren't we all, today, men that aren't getting blowjobs in New York hotel rooms?
Almost all.
I still don't understand how he got in so much trouble selling hedges. Was it poison ivy or something?
There was a bustle in his hedgerow.
Way down inside?
Creeping Sharia – it's worse than poison oak….
Reminds me my sisters friend let us use their shore house one summer and we get there and it's got poison ivy growing all over the place, including the outdoor shower. On instructions from my spouse (the botanical toxicologist for a day), I proceded to mow it down and carefully stuff it in the trash. Later my sister's friend called to be sure everything was ok and said "just so you know, I've been growing Virginia Creeper for the past 30 years – don't be alarmed, its not poison ivy".
He didn't use a certified shrubber. There are standards for such things, you know.
"Rajaratnam himself — only in his 50s, and so degenerate that he would not even buy himself a couple of personal trainers and chefs to feed him properly.."
Are you sure he's not a poor?
So, will that cow Nancy Grace be on the tube tonight, all outraged, saying how the system failed?… Or, is that kind of thing just reserved for people who are NOT attached to the corporate oligarchy? Just askin'.
Oh she will be mooing about the latest dead white woman or missing cute kid. This financial stuff is complicated and boring for someone of Nancy's resistable charms to discuss on the TV.
11 years for stealing from other rich people.
Is he going to white color resort prison, or pound you in the ass prison?
Depends on the hue of his skin. If he's "black panther thug" brown, he's probably in deep trouble. "Johns Hopkins cardiologist" brown, he's in clover.
You know I meant to type "white collar" but this works as well.
The subcontinent's Bernie Madoff, with all that it implies in terms of the amount of the swindle (though it does amount to crores and crores of rupees).
Any chance we can put him in an Indian prison for 11 years?
Well, it's an improvement over last time. I mean, they could have thrown Rachel Ray in prison.
Raj Raja… Raja… Raja-think you were going but to jail?
His biggest problem was when the lights were turned on, he didn’t scamper away like the rest of them.
This judicial railroading of the American entrepreneurial class reminds me of Stalin's show trials.
#Hoekstra
needz moar scapegoats.
WOOT! One entire Wall Street crook busted! I just LOVE happy endings.
Many of the OWS folks are vegans, so the efficacy of the "Judas Goat Gambit" in this instance is dubious at best.
Two down if you count Madoff, a few hundred (at least) to go.
/sighs
OK Flea Party, you won! See what happens when brave Americans come together to demand a redress of grievances? Good job! Now clean up after yourselves and go home, before you make Bloomberg shit his pants.
BFD! In Texas you get eleven years for spitting on the sidewalk if you're brown and have a funny name.
Now do you see? Now do you see what I was sayin' about fuckin' fat people??
This is why I love these Wonkettes.
Ghee, that was good!
I dunno … made me feel kinda barfi.
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