where's waggaman?

Where’s Wags? Wall Street Riley Is On ‘The Story’

Have you been missing Riley Waggaman’s Wonkette dispatches from the Occupation? So have we! But while we await his return to Zuccotti Park/Liberty Square/Freedom Fry-T-Mobile Arena, here is a program we think you will enjoy. It’s The Story, a good topical show from American Public Media, and Riley is the featured debt-ridden unemployed vagrant/visionary. Here’s the link, and you can click the Listen button at the bottom to hear it, or listen to the “podcast” on “the iTunes.”

Another Wonkette Intern-related fact is this: Former Wonkette intern Lauren Spohrer works at The Story From APM. Wonkette veterans are Everywhere in your Media. [The Story From APM]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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87 comments

  1. OC_Surf_Serf

    He’s 24, unemployed and overwhelmed with college debt …

    Does that line work on the hot rich babes around there?? (Stay safe young man)

    1. SorosBot

      Sadly "unemployed and overwhelmed with college debt" pretty much describes every American who's graduated since 2008 and doesn't have rich parents.

      1. OC_Surf_Serf

        Parents not rich enough? C'mon…everyone one can always go on the free market and choose a better mum and dad…

        1. Chichikovovich

          I see moneymaking potential for a smart entrepreneur who sets up a parent-child equivalent of a dating site.My son just became a teenager, with all that implies. So all you youngsters out there: if you are capable of answering a simple question in more than an angry monosyllable, there may be a comfortable home with a good financial situation and caring parents waiting for *you*.

        2. EatFrankRich

          As my 6 yo son sadly noted yesterday, "There's no magazine for finding new dads." Marketing opportunity!

    1. JustPixelz

      I see Anna Marie Cox on the teevee every now and then. And of course all the commenters have their own shows on MSNBC. Not to brag, but I'm a regular on "Lock up".

    2. Ken Layne

      Jim Newell: Gawker
      Alex Pareene: Salon
      Juli Weiner: Vanity Fair
      Lauren Spohrer: American Public Media
      Jack Steuf: The Onion
      Not only are Wonkette Veterans everywhere in your media, but they're at the media places not drenched in shame and bullshit.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        I must be doing something wrong. All my former employees end up working at NAPA, Walmart or Direct TV as cable puller or something.

        I can't help but think I've failed them, somehow.

        1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

          Can't they parley their experience with you into a housekeeping job at a Four Seasons?

          1. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

            Funny! I’ve never worked in a hotel but housekeeping seems like it would be a pretty terrible job, given the behavior of some people in hotels. Great starter job for people with minimal Ingles,  though.

          2. Lascauxcaveman

            Yeah, we haven't had any rapey high mucky-mucks go after our housekeepers yet, and really, the work's not that bad (I do a lot of it myself).

            My housekeepers leave to go back to school, or get a full time job (albeit, at a lower hourly rate) because I can only offer them a half shift, usually. It's really a small hotel, and except for summer rush, there's not that much work to do.

          3. V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

            I hadn’t even thought of the DSK angle so much as (1) the part-timey-ness of it as you say, and (2) the idea of cleaning strangers’ bathrooms and bedrooms. Maybe you’ve been spared rock-star guests…

          4. Lascauxcaveman

            In truth, people spending just a night or two don't have enough time to make much of a mess (Exception: Families with little kids). Some people don't even use the towels, and all you have to do is make up the bed and pick up a few water bottles.

            In seven years of running this place, I've only had to deal with vomit twice. But I've unplugged a shitload (literally) of stopped-up toilets. I'm like the Albert Pujols of toilet-unplugging. Anyway, I do almost everything with rubber gloves on; something I got used to in my days as brewer.

      2. Mumbletypeg

        And that's all good.. good for them — But for example I don't get the same 'takeaway' from Newell's work at gawker than what he used to deliver here at teh wonkettes. Maybe freakish was indicating how nice it'd be for the quality of wonkettworthy writing to pervade available media more, rather than quantitative, which you've pointed out is hardly to sneeze at.
        Although, whatever Sarah Benin-kadink decided to do instead of kicking high-spirited sand in our faces, her contribution is much missed. I'll assume she's sowing her charms in various glades and dells across comedia but I wonder if it's as satisfying for her as the abuse she hurled at her besotted crowd here.

      3. Redhead

        "media places not drenched in shame and bullshit. "

        You accidentally included Gawker in that list.

    3. Guppy06

      Where "your media" is limited to public radio and Russia Today.

      Speaking of, why no mention of Prime Minister of Hawtness and Trademarked Hair getting sentenced to jailtime in Ukraine?

      1. AJWjr.

        My doctor told me sex with such a young woman could be dangerous, but shit–if she dies, she dies…

  2. Goonemeritus

    It’s hard to be a visionary without at least trying your hand at the vagrant life style. I know my lack of going through that experience has damned me to a life filled with concerns about patio furniture and Toro lawn mowers.

    1. paris biltong

      This is at least the second time you mention your lawn in the past two days. May I just point out, regarding the need for a broad life experience, that what you refer to as "grass" is not what we usually meant when we spoke of "grass."

      1. chicken_thief

        Our 401(k)'s will be just fine once corporate taxes are lowered and the financial sector is deregulated. *proudly displaying what I learned from every Republican that I've heard speak in the past 2 yrs.*

  3. OkieDokieDog

    Watch out for pseudo journalist and porno film maker James Dildo O'Keefe, Mr. Riley!
    JDildO is scuttling about like the dirty filthy slimey scumball cockroach that he is.

  4. Lascauxcaveman

    I just assumed he was out getting laid. But then again, I haven't heard of any Breitbart sightings at OWS.

      1. Juan_Oriley

        But we got ocupados in Yucca Valley! I saw them yesterday but I haven't ventured out yet today.

      2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Good to know our fearless leader is smart enough to go where the cheap drugs and sex are. Plus insane leftist. At least that is what FOX News is telling me.

  5. LesBontemps

    Riley reports that he has "a tentative gig teaching English in the Czech Republic." He haz found the jerb createrz!

    1. Chichikovovich

      Then in twenty years, after the big American economic implosion that results when all our bridges fall down, our roads become undriveable, our police forces are staffed by convicts, and every last penny of tax revenue goes to building 5 trillion dollar bombers that are undetectable by radar even though they are as big as Rhode Island, he can get a job teaching Czech to American refugees.

      Some serious long-term potential there.

    2. Rosie_Scenario

      Book recommendation for Riley: "Prague" by Arthur Phillips. (Though it is set in Budapest, it still relates and is a good novel.)

  6. Come here a minute

    Wags gave up a perfectly good nearly-subsistence job entertaining us, pissing away any goodwill, so in this case, Herman Cain is right.

  7. Tommmcattt

    Um, can someone tell Riley that I'm sorry he got so sore? And I still have that pair of spider-man undies he wore over, does he want them back?

    He's not taking my calls for some reason.

  8. JoshuaNorton

    GOD IS PUNISHING RILEY FOR LEEVING TEH WONKETTE!!!11!!1!!

    Intern Riley – you may come back and work for free. All is forgiven.

Comments are closed.