LIZARD PEOPLE  1:45 pm October 11, 2011

Non-Human Rick Scott Launches Jihad Against People Who Study Humans

by Wonkette Jr.

David Icke was right!Space monster/invoked demon Rick Scott is clearly not a human. Children everywhere know Rick Scott’s face very well: It is what they see during nightmares, the soulless mask of non-human evil as personified by Lord Voldemort in the demonic Halloween books by J.K. Rowling. Rick Scott has laughed off such accusations, in his inhuman laugh, but now the Florida governor and business “man” has begun an all-out assault on the one profession that can show he is not one of us: Anthropologists.

The Miami Herald reports:

Spending money on science and math degrees can help Floridians find work and provide a return on taxpayers’ investments, Gov. Rick Scott said today in an interview on “The Marc Bernier Show” on WNDB-AM in Daytona Beach.

Scott said Florida doesn’t need “a lot more anthropologists in this state.”

“It’s a great degree if people want to get it. But we don’t need them here,” Scott said.

What an odd science to select for scorn. Anthropology is the science of studying human behavior — people, cultures, traditions and psychology. It is a powerful window into what makes us tick, with the “us” referring to the species Homo Sapiens of Planet Earth. Why would Rick Scott want to eradicate the study of human behavior and the experts who practice it? What is Rick Scott hiding? Oh right, he’s hiding his demonic/alien origins.

Rick Scott would have you believe his assault on anthropology is just more of the typical corporate right-wing extremist gutting of the nation’s institutions in order to create a Medieval society of all-powerful demon kings ruling over a population of ignorant, terrified serfs — after all, Rick Scott is also trying to destroy tenured positions at Florida state universities, so that people who have dedicated their life to academia can be done away with as quickly as a seasonal fry cook at a Florida theme park. (Rick Scott picked up this teabagger idea from that other crook “Governor Rick,” Rick Perry.)

But anthropology is a strange academic target for such a jihad. It’s a science that is especially applicable to the very corporate/government welfare-capitalism that made Rick Scott an obscenely rich kleptocrat — a shining example of the 1% in this country defrauding everyone else. Government bureaucracy, health care, consumer marketing and finance are the four primary “commercial” sectors where anthropologists are in high demand as social scientists studying the manipulation of human behavior. Look how Rick Scott got his $100+ million dollars and $11.5 million annual income:

In 1988, Scott and Richard Rainwater, a multimillionaire financier from Fort Worth, each put up $125,000 in working capital in their new company, Columbia Hospital Corporation,[17] and borrowed the remaining money needed to purchase two struggling hospitals in El Paso for $60 million.[18] Then they acquired a neighboring hospital and shut it down.

[...]

In settlements reached in 2000 and 2002, Columbia/HCA plead guilty to 14 felonies and agreed to a $600+ million fine in the largest fraud settlement in US history. Columbia/HCA admitted systematically overcharging the government by claiming marketing costs as reimbursable, by striking illegal deals with home care agencies, and by filing false data about use of hospital space. They also admitted fraudulently billing Medicare and other health programs by inflating the seriousness of diagnoses and to giving doctors partnerships in company hospitals as a kickback for the doctors referring patients to HCA. They filed false cost reports, fraudulently billing Medicare for home health care workers, and paid kickbacks in the sale of home health agencies and to doctors to refer patients. In addition, they gave doctors “loans” never intending to be repaid, free rent, free office furniture, and free drugs from hospital pharmacies.

In late 2002, HCA agreed to pay the U.S. government $631 million, plus interest, and pay $17.5 million to state Medicaid agencies, in addition to $250 million paid up to that point to resolve outstanding Medicare expense claims. In all, civil law suits cost HCA more than $2 billion to settle, by far the largest fraud settlement in US history.

The business “man” and politician Rick Scott badly needs the expertise and research of anthropologists to continue his lifelong ripoff of the federal government, state government, taxpayers and people requiring health care. He needs social scientists to manipulate perceived reality. Yet he fears a backlash from these very anthropologists, should they even turn their eyes to his serpent head. [Miami Herald/New Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 104 comments }

hagajim October 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm

He fears a backlash from anthropologists because they'll be able to take one look at him and say certifiably that he's a crooked fucker who bilked billions out of the government and then ran for governor so he could bilk more. Just doesn't want to be called out as a total asshole….which he is.

Cicada October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Whoah, I guess that means I'm an anthropologist too!

Callyson October 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Today, we are all anthropologists…

flamingpdog October 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Floriduh needz moar proctologists.

metamarcisf October 11, 2011 at 1:52 pm

What about Primitive Cultures?

GuanoFaucet October 11, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Like Alabama?

Boojum_Reborn October 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Like Obama's Kenyan Soshalizms?

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Like a bacterial cell culture? That's biology so I guess OK.

Indiepalin October 11, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Shama lama ding dong

horsedreamer_1 October 12, 2011 at 1:03 am

The Swamp, on game day?

SexySmurf October 11, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Why do you need a college degree to sell hideous, over-priced crap to hipsters?

finallyhappy October 11, 2011 at 2:09 pm

My undergrad degree was in anthropology- but the first time(and last time) I was in Anthropologie- I knew it was crap

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Science is always trying to tell us things. Well, I say there's things we don't want to know! Important things!

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 1:54 pm

But Rick, if we don't study arthropods how will we understand a slimy toxic scorpion like you?
Oh… anthropologists…

EatsBabyDingos October 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm

"We don't need anyone digging up ancient asshats here in Floriduh."

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

the demonic Halloween books

JESUSWEEN!
~

nounverb911 October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

There are humans in Florida?

freakishlywrong October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

*whispering*..there are even LIBRULS in Florida..shhhhhh. And even the redneck idiot Republicans that voted for this asswit despise him. His "approval" numbers are right in line with the %26 of the crazy that is running this country.

baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

"Scott said Florida doesn’t need “'A lot more anthropologists in this state.”

These goddamn anthropologists comming into this country and collecting data and studying human nature…..BUILD THE WALL!

flamingpdog October 11, 2011 at 2:32 pm
baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

That's one damn fine hole they got there.

iburl October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Anthropology is a flawed science, for instance, it shows that people were in the Americas more than 6000 years ago, obviously a preposterous notion. When will these scientists stop thinking, measuring, and recording and start accepting the truth?

Florida anthropologists are especially bad because they should know that their evil adherence to logic and science can only mean that hurricane season will be especially wrathful this year.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

He doesn't want anthropologists in Florida for fear they might discover just what makes everyone in that state so fucking crazy.

ManchuCandidate October 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm

His hatred for Elmore Leonard is legendary.

edgydrifter October 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I don't need a degree in psychology to know Rick Scott is a seriously fucked-up sociopath, and I don't need a degree in mathematics to calculate how much money he stole (answer: "a shitload").

Wait, I think I just proved his point about not needing degrees.

Allmighty_Manos October 11, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Anthropologists also might raise some uncomfortable questions about legalized dwarf tossing.

Goonemeritus October 11, 2011 at 1:57 pm

It’s just personal interest, from his prospective Herpetologists are more useful.

Moonbatting Average October 11, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Anyone who wants to pursue an anthropology degree in Florida, or any anthropology degree-holder who wishes to move to Florida, must submit to a drug test.

Wilburgton October 11, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Yessss, I was looking for an opportunity to type out Clyde Kluckhohn today… who is rolling in his grave no doubt.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm

I promised myself to stop picking on head waxing accident victims so I got nothing to say.

JoshuaNorton October 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Before W, these people were the crack-pot outliers now they're the center of the party. Street theater and histrionics have become institutionalized.

Moonbatting Average October 11, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Leave Bat Boy aloooone!!!!

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

You know who else thought certain people were expendable?

flamingpdog October 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm

MItt Romney?

baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Jon Rambo's bosses?

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Sarah "Boom Boom" Palin?

EatsBabyDingos October 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

The G.O.P. of the U.S. of A? Tribbles? The lions in Rome circa 75 BC?

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Amanda Waller, founder of the Suicide Squad?

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Obama's job czar and former General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt?
~

Moonbatting Average October 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm
ManchuCandidate October 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm

General Douglas Haig?

flamingpdog October 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Ukranian coal mine owners?

baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 2:05 pm

BLAOW!!!!! Take that anthropologists! It's on like Donkey Kong! Rick sais "what ya gonna do now bitches!".

freakishlywrong October 11, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Jesus our wingnuts are fucking embarrassing in this country.

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Anthropology is just a theory among many theories.

SoBeach October 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Teach the controversy!

Cicada October 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Who needs fancy schmancy degrees n' shit when you got football?
Go Seminoles! Woooooooo!

*does kegstand*
*votes Republican*

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Interesting fact: That wordless fight song chanted while tomahawk chopping–written by the FSU English department.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 2:41 pm

We are the boys of old Florida, F – L – O – R – I- D – A. Having demonstrated that I could spell "Florida," I was granted an English degree and told to go forth and flip burgers.

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Ten years of Republican administrations and the University of Florida is slowly fading in college rankings.

Antispandex October 11, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Now I'm confused. Aren't all of the peoples with those fancy educations the enemy? I mean, why teach science, when that's where all of these "theories" come from? Everyone knows that math is for the liberals to fool people into thinking they are broke. Class warfare, also.

SexySmurf October 11, 2011 at 2:11 pm

OT and WTF:
Kanye West Shows Up To Occupy Wall Street.

"99%ers, I'm real happy for you and I'm going to let you finish, but yo, Egypt had one of the best popular uprisings of ALL TIME."

flamingpdog October 11, 2011 at 2:21 pm

"I love how sweet and tolerant he was to the crowd"

W'y thank ya, Massa West, thank ya, thank ya berry much. But nex' time, how 'bout you brang uz some hoz?

baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 2:13 pm

How about douche bags Rick? FLA is full of douche bags. You don't need a lot more of those there do you?

EatsBabyDingos October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Space gerbils are people, too.

Come here a minute October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

The good news for anthropologists who've had their tenure taken away is that Florida theme parks are always hiring new batches of seasonal fry cooks.

Pithaughn October 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I fried food at Disneyland to pay for my anthropology classes. One of which was the History of Jazz with Dr. Katz, in the anthropology department. 1978.

chascates October 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Typical wealthy Republican: made rich via the federal system he now decries. Maybe that populist hero Sarah Palin will take up this cause.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm

You motherfucker Scott. You just croaked my snark.

We had an unfortunate and tragic experiment here at the University of Owls wherein the same "does this department/field of study make the corporates smile" logic was applied when making decisions as to lavish or kill certain disciplines.

Somehow, we have of late are staggering out of that fetid, corrupt and vulgar mindset, which is stunning given that we are within 10 miles of the corporate headquarters of Walmart, Tyson and JB Hunt Trucking. Seriously.

How did this miracle come to take happen? Guess what, these bloated monsters don't fucking need anymore fucking robot MBAs. They need someone who can write a sentence, analyze complexity and actually communicate a thought without a fucking Powerpoint.

This sounds backwards, but it's not: This prick is not only evil, he's wrong. Asshole.

weejee October 11, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Amen, brother owl. As a physics/chemistry undergrad, one of the best classes I took was comparative religion from a guy by the name of Harry Tiebout. That was to fill one of the dreaded general ed electives. Shit, I use the stuff I learned from Harry more today than the silly sauce of being able to derive Maxwell's Equations in both differential and tensor form.

PS. Harry was also the faculty adviser for the Illinois chapter of the SDS, and chair of the Champaign County Demrats.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Boomerang amen. Stupid, stupid fucks.

owhatever October 11, 2011 at 2:17 pm

He only wants kids to pay tens of thousands of dollars for degrees like Bachelor of Burger-Flippin, then go join the work force. Republicans are not anti-intellectual. Just dumb and proud.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I think they are also anti-intellectual.

veritass October 11, 2011 at 2:17 pm

After they're done being today's target of choice for the anti-intellectual crowd, I'd love to get an anthropologist's take on Jesusween.

Terry October 11, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Maybe he flunked Anthropology in school or was dumped by an Anthropology major.

Redrighthand October 11, 2011 at 2:19 pm

We need anthroPODogy so we can learn the history of our crab people overlords…

ManchuCandidate October 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I would not want to live in a place made entirely of too serious Sheldon Coopers or Mr Beans as I have a hard skienze degree so I know what I speak of.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Yo, Junior! What the fuck with panic inducing "destroy tenured positions at Florida state universities" phrases?? The article doesn't say tenure is targeted…yet.

Quit scarin' the cunt offa me!

Ken Layne October 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm

That's my fault, I inserted this Junior's links in the wrong order. The tenure attack is here in this New Times piece, "Rick Scott's University Reform: Watch Out Tenured Professors and Liberal Arts Majors":

Scott is also looking at ways to reform the tenure system for university professors. It's an idea he picked up from Texas Gov. Rick Perry, though not even Texas has done away with tenure. According to the Sun, Perry's "Seven Solutions program boosts rewards for the best teachers and advocates tougher faculty evaluations that incorporate more student input."

Scott wants professors spending more time in the classroom teaching and less time pumping out research.

"It's sheer and utter nonsense," says former University of Florida President Charles E. Young. "They have a total lack of understanding about what a university is and what universities do."

Another source: http://www2.tbo.com/news/education-news/2011/sep/

Cicada October 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Scott wants professors spending more time in the classroom teaching and less time pumping out research.

OMFG, he's a complete moron. Professors make more money for the university bringing in research grants than they do teaching courses. And courses are already taught by professors, does Scott want the profs to do the TA work too? Then how do grad students make money?

The irony here is that I'm sure Scott is fervently opposed to government telling businesses what to do, but has no problem sticking his abnormally small nose into the running of an institution he clearly knows nothing about.

weejee October 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

And Perry was such a fucking scholar at Tejas A&M.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Thanks Ken, that makes me feel better.

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 11, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Now political science, that's the "science" to make fun of.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 7:00 pm

I know where you live, pal.

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 11, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Hey, nice "Ween" post last night, User!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Christian Science. That's the science to make fun of. That's the one with creationism, right?

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 11, 2011 at 9:52 pm

I confuse it with the volcano and H-bomb one. Science is hard.

CapnFatback October 11, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Yet he fears a backlash from these very anthropologists, should they even turn their eyes to his serpent head.

How do you fight a snake? Get a bigger and better snake. I'd like to throw Scott into a pit with some Boas.

Can I get an "Anthropolo-GEE WHIZ!"

littlebigdaddy October 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Boas ref ftw.

mumbly_joe October 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm

He also wants to defund psychology programs too. I'm going to choose to blame the Scientologists.

KeepFnThatChicken October 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm

We don't want them studied. We want them consuming.

DerrickWildcat October 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Good for Scott Rick! One Amtropolgest is one Amtropolgest two many! Really, what is there two no,
BAM! God made me and thats it! Dont need two go two skool for that!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Anthropology would be just fine if they limited themselves to the study of why white American males are exceptional and deserve to rule the world. But they keep looking at cultures of blacks and browns and, dare I say, women. What sort of Communism is that?

WordsOfWiesman October 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

First they came for the anthropologists, but I said nothing because I studied hard science.

Chet Kincaid October 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Today we are all anthropologists.

Eve8Apples October 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Anthropologists are trying to piece together a comprehensive understanding of human evolution.

All crazy teabaggers know human evolution is witchcraft. We came from special Jesus magic. No need to study it.

RadioOcupados October 11, 2011 at 2:52 pm

One good idea for a PhD dissertation, an Anthropological study of how Rick Scott conspired to defraud Medicare and he got off with a wrist slap.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 2:56 pm

"…and free drugs from hospital pharmacies."

Oxy!! WooHoo!! Free Oxy and shrooms… I would be in great shape.

johnnyzhivago October 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Biggest Fraud Settlement in History: I call the guy one hell of an overachiver!

MrFizzy October 11, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Someone should explain to him that anthropology is not about the lost art of throwing ants.

mavenmaven October 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Anthropologists are under fire, because they know that human history shows how acting against your personal interest is not good for people.

MistaEko October 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Don't worry. In a few generations there will be plenty of anthropologists studying Florida.

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Anthropologists, no, scuba divers for the lower 2/3rds of the state, yes.

crybabyboehner October 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Alexander Pope: ''the proper study of mankind is man."

Rick Scott: "must eat brains … delicious human brains!"

Schmannnity October 11, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I can't wait until Florida has another Hufflepuff or Griffindor governor. Between Jeb and Scott, these Slytherins are killing us.

Gorillionaire October 11, 2011 at 4:15 pm

This fucker should be eating fake bologna sandwiches and having nightmares on a cot in one of our proud nation's privatized prisons, endlessly bullied by a minimally trained prison guard who is paid 12 bucks an hour.

insidebeltway October 11, 2011 at 6:33 pm

"Scott said Florida doesn’t need “'A lot more anthropologists in this state.”

How many Anthropologists are there in Florida? And what constitutes a lot more?

MadBrahms October 11, 2011 at 7:13 pm

To be fair, and to counter Jr's point, for every corporate anthropologist of note, there's dozens who write books like this, (separate links – I'm shilling shamelessly) to use a few examples on the shelf in front of me, and the corporate anthropologists don't usually show up at annual conferences, for fear of being pie-d.

But Rick Scott is right, obviously. I can't see any reason why our perfect society of love, equality, and free consumption would possibly need cultural critique.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

As a psychologist practicing in Florida, I want to blame the Scientologists, the Republicans, the fundamentalists, the authoritarians, the bullies, the narcissists, the sociopaths, the bigots, the compulsive liars, the know-nothings, and the know-it-alls.

deanbooth October 11, 2011 at 8:44 pm

I am an anthropologist in Florida, and Rick Scott is right! I am the .000001%.

Negropolis October 12, 2011 at 12:57 am

To this day, I can't believe Rick Scott became governor. Of all of the gubernatorial contests of 2010, this was the worse one in terms of electing someone who was a known, actual, private-sector crook. Sink wasn't the cleanest candidate, herself, but that this was so close made her loss even worse.

jzgplj October 13, 2011 at 1:18 pm

And you have to wonder why this asshat isn't in jail…..

HistGuy October 14, 2011 at 11:02 am

A student response to Gov. Perry:
http://prezi.com/vmvomt3sj3fd/this-is-anthropolog

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 6:58 pm

No problem! Just send $59.99 to the University of Owls "alumni fund" at the PayPal account below and I'll personally put one in the mail. Promise! No really!

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