CLOSET LIBERALS  10:36 am October 11, 2011

Wingnuts’ ‘We Are The 53 Percent’ Just Proves Point of ’99 Percent’ Movement

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Thank you for nothing, America! And he means it.Right-wing hobo prince Erick Erickson started a cheeky conservative response to the popular “We are the 99 percent” tumblr with his very own “We are the 53 percent” site using the Republicans’ parrot-poop false “point” that only 53% of Americans pay taxes. The site is remarkable only for the fact that the user-submitted stories are just as depressing and virtually identical to the “99 percent” stories, except that these struggling Americans are militantly defensive of their poverty and anusburgers. They are mysteriously very excited to spend the sum of their waking existence working bone-dissolving hours on the brink of a health problem-induced catastrophe! SO THERE, LIBTARD WHINERS. Let us read a few at random, for tears and misery and patriotism.

Food stamps and welfare, they are manna or whatever from Jesus! Which is how this person managed to start over, screw you hippies:

Oh god, this one is really depressing. This man, he has no health insurance and a near-zero wage, but he doesn’t blame Wall Street. He blames only himself for being poor and barely able to survive despite working zillions of hours, as the Bible teaches us.

Yeah, SUCK IT UP, COMMUNISTS.

See, brainwashed tree dweller turds? Some people are HAPPY eking out the miserable existence equivalent of a Wal-Mart “63% off on laboring humans sale” working 394 hours a week for sub-living wages and no health insurance, why aren’t you? Because you’re complainers, which is ILLEGAL and UN-AMERICAN. Shut up and go watch Nancy Grace give free blow jobs to Satan on Dancing With the Stars, to remind you why America is still great. [We Are the 53 Percent Tumblr]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 288 comments }

OC_Surf_Serf October 11, 2011 at 10:38 am

53% have 0%…sounds about Right.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 10:39 am

I call hoax. It's not an Erickson-sponsored stunt unless someone gets a package that's smelly, heavy or abstruse in the mail.

Barb October 11, 2011 at 10:39 am

"Nancy Grace give free blow jobs to Satan on Dancing With the Stars"
She's a lawyer, wouldn't that be "pro bono" blow jobs? She's trying to confuse people who wish to vote for Chaz Bono into voting for her.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:55 am

"Pro-Blow-No"

spinozasgod October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

I believe you meant pro-boner…

GunToting[Redacted] October 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

Nancy Grace is DECIDEDLY anti-boner.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

A Hefty with a hole it in might work. Or is she Hefty Contractor Sized???

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Damn it, you guys!
I had completely forgotten that Nancy Grace existed!
Thanks a whole big bunch!

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 10:40 am

Born to lick boots.

That's our teatards!
~

RandPaulsToupee October 12, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OR PRAYER. Oh god, all these egregious spelling errors. Yeah, nobody needs higher education! Suck it up, you pussies!

hollywooddood October 11, 2011 at 10:40 am

I could win the lottery someday. So shut up.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:54 am

I might win "X-Factor"!!
Meh… too much work, all that singing and shit…

hollywooddood October 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

Too much work, huh? You sound like a socialist Marxist Islamic fascist commie.

GOPCrusher October 11, 2011 at 12:51 pm

GET A JERB, HIPPIE!!!!

finallyhappy October 11, 2011 at 2:13 pm

yeah, sometimes when Powerball or mega millions goes over $100 Million, and I know that and I get to a place that sells tickets- sometimes I buy a ticket so hell yeah- I could win

imissopus October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Please do not mock my retirement plan.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Who's mocking? I'm jealous.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 10:41 am

What useful idiots for the corporate crowd. Hey morans, they're laughing at you, defending them after they have completely fucked your life over and you are fighting against government policies that would actually help you.

chicken_thief October 11, 2011 at 11:19 am

But they are jerb creators, sheeple!!! Wake up!

freakishlywrong October 11, 2011 at 12:42 pm

More importantly Sorosbot, government policies that could help US.

GOPCrusher October 11, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Lickspittle, bring me my cognac snifter!

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Shorter: We loves Massa. Why you-all don't love Massa?

obamamarx2012 October 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

"Hey morans" ??? Need I say more about the level of intelligence we are dealing with here?

I am one of the 53% of Americans that pay Federal income taxes so that the other 47% of parasites can live off the proceeds of others' productivity, and do stupid things like occupy Wall Street. And trust me, your socialist government policies would not help me. For I am not a parasite. I work for a living and earn every cent that I spend. The "Land of Opportunity" has worked out quite well for me because I work my ass off, and capitalism tends to reward the intelligent, hardworking, ambitious, talented and skilled. It doesn't work out quite as well for the lazy and the stupid. Sorry but, although even the lazy and stupid do relatively well as compared to the rest of the world, I regret to tell you that you are not well-prepared to succeed in a capitalist economic system.

I would say that you need to go study some history and see how well socialism and communism have worked out in the past, but then I'm dealing with someone who cannot even spell the word 'moron'. Ironic isn't it?

starfanglednut October 19, 2011 at 10:02 pm
SexySmurf October 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

Doesn't sound like any of them pay federal income tax, and at least three of them depended on the government (welfare or the military) at some point in their lives. In other words, typical wingtards.

99 problems; 100% white; 53 IQ points.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

My Mom has a friend. Two of her girls use public services like it was water. The friend is Republican/Conservative (everything Obama does is wrong) type.

Fuck her. So tired of the hypocracy.

My snark is on va-ca this morning.

BerkeleyBear October 11, 2011 at 12:26 pm

But but but she paid for those services with her Taxes, dontcha know?

Seriously, the people my wife always wanted to just slap were the middle class or better folks who would demand service budgets that were way out of line with their child's needs (especially since Medicaid allowed them to act like the kid had 0 assets for eligibility purposes) and acted like they had "earned" it.

I'm up front that I want whatever the law will allow for my son in some settings (mainly school) but I don't kid myself that I'm not getting a benefit. I know exactly what it would cost to pay for all the help he gets, and I'm grateful I live in a society where I don't have to.

snoopyfan2010 October 11, 2011 at 1:15 pm

As did the protesters. The difference is that some of us realize that we aren't getting what we paid for.

WhatTheHeck October 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

So they think they can tell
Heaven from Hell
but there’s no way I could tell
these morans to open their minds
for just a spell to witness freedom’s death-knell

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

Fake economist Robert Samuelson wrote some gibberish in the War Criminal Post yesterday, about how mean everyone was being to the poor Richie Rich's in this country.

(link to Sadly, No! and not the War Criminal Post)

As always, the whinging is about the percentage of income tax the rich pay, and glosses over the fact that the reason for it is they have almost all of the income.
~

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

Not to mention that most rich people most of their money off of capital gains, which is taxed at a lower rate than actual income; it's the same bullshit that they use to lie and say 47% of people pay no taxes by ignoring everything but income tax rates, applied to the high end of the scale.

obamamarx2012 October 12, 2011 at 10:55 am

Hey, Idiot… the richest 1% pay over 40% of Federal income taxes. Perhaps a math class would improve your level of intelligence, and your outlook. Saying the rich don't pay their fair share is certifiably ignorant.

starfanglednut October 19, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Zzzzzzz…..

JoshuaNorton October 11, 2011 at 10:44 am

Exactly what is their point? They've got nothing and they're only too happy to share it with the greed-driven corporations?

They're somehow compelled to protect their non-existent tax rate on their pretend millions from people exactly like them?

Dude, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Moonbat October 11, 2011 at 10:51 am

"Exactly what is their point? They've got nothing and they're only too happy to share it with the greed-driven corporations? "

Pretty much. "My life sucks, and that's OK!" If I gave them a bit more credit, I'd say they were misreading "Candide" as a self-help manual rather than a satire.

Nietzsche would have a field day with these clowns. It's pretty much a perfect illustration of what he called "slave morality" – things are awful for me, but the Big Dude says it's all part of the plan, so it's fine that things are awful! Anyone who tries to change the fact that things are awful is messing with the Big Dude's plan, and that's wrong!

James Michael Curley October 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

HhaHha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Hha HaHaHa

CZL October 11, 2011 at 11:05 am

Serf mentality. The rich are rich because God willed it so, and have the land and titles through divine right. We poor tenant farmers should be grateful that we are let a small fee to till until we die, with our noble lord, whose hands do not know the roughness of toil, taking the lion's share of the fruits of our work, as is his rightly due because he is so generous in LETTING us work.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

Yeah but that rich guy in the castle got there through is own work, not the work of his hundreds of serfs whose labor he gets for free.

Chichikovovich October 11, 2011 at 11:57 am

Getting pushed down the birth canal is tough! A very distressing time in one's life.

RandPaulsToupee October 12, 2011 at 4:19 pm

It is really depressing, but I guess social mobility and better lives would be wasted on them anyway, because, ya know, SOCIALISM!!!1

It sort of reminds me of a Tea Party gathering I went to (I know, I know, I wanted to check it out.) It was in a public park which ordinarily had free parking, because, ya know, public park. The organizers had parked themselves in front of the PUBLIC lot and were charging people $10 to park there, and they were happily paying up so they could wheeze their way 10 feet to the main area instead of going 100 yards to the next (uninfested) lot.

That basically summed it all up for me.

obamamarx2012 October 12, 2011 at 10:58 am

Hey, Idiot… try living an entire week without goods and services produced and delivered to you by those "greed-driven corporations".

Betcha won't. Betcha can't.

Careful what you wish for. Socialism is not what it's cracked up to be.

GuanoFaucet October 11, 2011 at 10:45 am

Think, you fuckers!

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

You can lead a wingnut to a museum demonstration, but you can't make 'em think.
~

chicken_thief October 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

Aha. Ahahahaha. Ahahahhahahaha!!!

lulzmonger October 11, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Nooooooo! IT'S A LIBERAL TRAP!

PROOF: This radical islamosocialist "thinking" thing is mentioned NOWHERE in EITHER the Holy Bible OR the Constitution.

QED, libs!

obamamarx2012 October 12, 2011 at 11:02 am

Asking these idiots to think is like asking a spider monkey to explain the theory of relativity. You have a better chance of a 6-legged, striped hippo popping out of your right nostril.

GregComlish October 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

These guys despise the unproductive class who leech off of hardworking Americans, except for the members of the unproductive class who are employed on Wall Street.

paris biltong October 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

Look at the Germans (Third Reich version). They got screwed big time by someone they supported. People elect assholes, what can I say? Just like they marry bitches or pricks.

4TheTurnstiles October 11, 2011 at 10:50 am

so you're saying that it's like Hitler playing a round of golf with Netanyahu or something?

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

So Erick & his cabal have never heard of SALES tax?

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 10:55 am

Or payroll tax. Or social fucking security tax.

Chichikovovich October 11, 2011 at 11:59 am

Or the "headache tax" extorted by people like this when they belch their idiocies in the direction of anyone with a lick of sense.

glamourdammerung October 11, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Given how many basements they seem to fester in, I just figured their parents did the shopping.

mookwrthwilson October 11, 2011 at 10:48 am

Do these people all live in basements without sheetrock ceilings?

Terry October 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

Those things are just liberal wastes of money

Goonemeritus October 11, 2011 at 10:48 am

Useful idiots indeed, I don’t think these working stiffs even understand how the table is shifted if they did they would be really pissed. I don’t hate capitalism and I don’t hate the idea of capital markets I just think they have been allowed run amuck. Every right winger I know believes in aggressive parenting to keep their children on the right path why can’t they see that the markets have been acting like Britney Spears on Speedballs.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:00 am

John Belushi LIBEL!

zappadoo76 October 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm

If you still like capitalism, you haven't been paying attention.

GuanoFaucet October 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

The false consciousness is strong with these ones.

OC_Surf_Serf October 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

Nearly two-thirds of U.S. companies and 68% of foreign corporations do not pay federal income taxes, according to a congressional report released recently

That 47% of non-tax-paying seems to include GE, Exxon, and other 'people' like that…

paris biltong October 11, 2011 at 11:05 am

Interesting statistics, although the difference between two-thirds and 68 percent is not very significant. Also, while many foreign corporations may not pay US federal income tax. I'm sure quite a few US corporations don't pay French or Uzbek income taxes, especially if they don't operate in those countries.

OC_Surf_Serf October 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

Nope: U.S. Companies Paid More Taxes Overseas…In 2008, for the first time, American companies' foreign income tax payouts exceeded taxes paid domestically…

In 2008 foreign income tax payouts accounted for more than 55% of their total income tax expenditures, up from 45% in 2007—an $11.5 billion increase. Federal income tax payouts declined 29%, or almost $44 billion, over the same period.

TheGyrus October 11, 2011 at 11:31 am

Someone totally needs to put up a "We are the 68%" tumblr, so Exxon and GE can tell their stories.

I'd do it myself, but I'm lazy.

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

I was thinking exactly that too.

jodyleek October 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

But, but…what kinds of cakes do they like?
And get me and you a 2 pacs a peace cig's while your out!

ifthethunderdontgetya October 11, 2011 at 10:55 am

And so White Kasuls
Made of anusburger
Fall in the sea
Eventually
~

jodyleek October 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

Thanks for posting the linky-link, thunder!
Alas, I am an old lady and don't know how to do such magical things
with my fingers.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

There are some forums that have buttons to automatically do some of the html-y thing for you; when I want to use something like a text link or bolding I go to one of them to prepare my comment then cut and paste it with the code back to Wonkette.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 12:20 pm

That is smart!

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Excuse me, I have to go drop the kids off at the pool white kasuls into the sea.

emmelemm October 11, 2011 at 2:27 pm

It's almost a haiku… but not quite. Still, it's beautiful.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:59 am

Dew wi kneed serial?

Ansnarkist October 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

I wish for people to not have the chances in life that were provided to me by the government because I want more money. I am the American Dream!!!

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 10:50 am

I also like the one Yglesias pointed out here, which includes what has to be one of the dumbest statements I've ever read, "I will succeed or fail because of me and me ALONE."

SystemError October 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

I think veterans should be supported, but really? "I didn't have a job or a future so i went to the government and got one. I probably get VA benefits for healthcare and college. But I succeed or fail on me and me alone"

horsedreamer_1 October 11, 2011 at 11:34 pm

ARMY OF ONE LIBEL!!!

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

Yes he will.

LesBontemps October 11, 2011 at 10:59 am

Needz moar Liz Warren.

Slim_Pickins October 11, 2011 at 12:33 pm

FAIL!

Jerri October 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm

A No Fear shirt slogan is as good an economic philosophy as any I guess. (If you're an idiot.)

JoshuaNorton October 11, 2011 at 10:50 am

Behold! The stupidest thing Erick has ever written at least until the next stupidest thing he's ever written is written which will be at most a couple of days if history is any judge.

user-of-owls October 11, 2011 at 10:50 am

I've had a multitude of students who are exactly like PFC Suck Itup over the years.

They are uniformly creative, open-minded and independent thinkers. They also write flawlessly, engage others with respect for diverse views and approach complex material critically.

Everyone single one has gone on to win a Rhodes Scholarship. I personally inform them that they've one by going down to the Amazon warehouse during the third shift.

Pres.Libunatic October 11, 2011 at 11:16 am

And that ambulances are standing by to take them to the hospital if they pass out from heat stroke at said Amazon warehouse.

snackypants October 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

It's their own fault if they pass out.

x111e7thst October 11, 2011 at 10:51 am

I want to hire a couple of these clowns to lick the road dirt off the wheels of my Porsche. I think they would enjoy that.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 11:50 am

Now you're thinking like a job creator!

Zombie_Reagan October 11, 2011 at 10:52 am

These photos are the best evidence of Stockholm Syndrome I've ever witnessed.

Chillwaver October 11, 2011 at 11:40 am

Down Syndrome, also (well, actually an insult to those who suffer from it).

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

Working 2 jobs and never getting time off? You should have more to show for it… but you don't because you are being ripped off by a government that wastes money on "protecting" you by going to other countries and killing people in the name of oil freedom… oh, and stuff like bailing out banks and corporations so they can pay their CEOs bonuses to the tune of billions as well as dodge paying their fair share in taxes.
This is coming from a guy that has worked at the same job for 20 years, had 2 businesses over the past 15 years that helped me "get by" so I could be a single dad, and not default on my mortgage. I too have worked my ass off and my home went from $420K in value to $187K in a measly 5 years due to the hyper-inflation set up by Reaganomics… among other schemes.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 11, 2011 at 11:39 am

You're so wrong. Fed Chairman Greenspan (while fapping to Ayn Rand upskirt photos) had it all figured out. Low interest rates are good for everybody…well, unless the bankers get embarrassed at their clubs because hedge fund guys are making tons more money, and so financially "engineer" CDSs and CDOs that cannot fail unless there's a "black swan" event, which happens three times in one week and the world's entire economy is brought to its knees. So really, except for that one little period in 2008-09, everything's been great! The recession's over! Welcome to The New Normal® of 10% unemployment everywhere but Washington. Houses are a lot cheaper now — everybody should buy a couple!

emmelemm October 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Damn you for Ayn Rand upskirt photos. WRONG!! So fucking wrong.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 11, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Ahh, those muscular Russian-peasant-woman thighs, strong enough to pull a plow through the Steppes…

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

Amazing how skilled the right is at leveraging ignorance. The employed poor paid income tax all right, they paid it at their employer in employment tax and social security. Someone taking home 10k in pay can have 9k of tax paid on top of that if they are childless, WAY higher than the bullshit 35% a millionaire with a crappy accountant would pay, if they weren't dodging taxes down to the average 9% those at the top actually do pay.

Bullshit reigns supreme with the republicans.

Pop_Socket October 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

The 53% all think they are temporarily displaced members of the 1%.

Redhead October 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm

And they all think "temporarily" means something different than I do, apparently.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

Back in my previous life as a grad student, we had discussions about why it's a bad thing to talk about false consciousness, because it's offensive and elitist and potentially totalitarian to presume to know what is objectively best for another person. But, Jesus Ween! How else can we describe this shit?

chicken_thief October 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

Nothing to do with anything, but I like your hobo senator.

LesBontemps October 11, 2011 at 10:56 am

There's no such thing as satire or parody anymore.

Really, this is just depressing; Ken Layne might be right.

Redhead October 11, 2011 at 12:00 pm

The level of cognitive dissonance apparent here scares me.

HobbesEvilTwin October 11, 2011 at 10:56 am

No one helped me when I was on food stamps and living in Section 8 housing. Fucking socialists!

OC_Surf_Serf October 11, 2011 at 11:06 am

Craig T. Nelson??

emmelemm October 11, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I know, right? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.

Terry October 11, 2011 at 10:56 am

You can tell an old Marine easily. Give a group of guys a couple beers each, then play the Marine Corps Hymn. The old Marines, no matter if they are long haired hippie types now, will stand up.

tihond October 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

This has been more successful than my attempt to start a meme about the 5% nation of casiotones.

Midway117 October 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Right now, I think the 5 percent nation of nipple clamps would satisfy me.

Amo_of_Bogio October 11, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Thumbs up from #occupy the Peoples Republic of Lake Edna.

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

"God bless the U.S.A. and please screw me over more. Please."

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

Strap On style.

FidoMcCokefiend October 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

I'm confused. I'm told repeatedly by the wingnuts that Obama is responsible for unemployment because of his anti-business policies. I'm now told here that people are solely responsible for everything that happens to them. Which is it exactly?

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

Obama is in all of us?
It's our inner Obama that is failing us?

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

Obama is everywhere
Obama is everything
Obama is everybody'
Obama is still the king. . . .

MathIsHard October 11, 2011 at 11:37 am

All of 'em, Katie.

Beowoof October 11, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Liberal with all your fucking thinking and stuff just trying to confuse the honest working guys.

glamourdammerung October 11, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Which is it exactly?

Whichever lie is most convenient at the moment. Conservativism is all about logical inconsistency.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:35 pm

People have good things happen to them because, by god, they're hard-workin, jebus-blowin amurricans who vote against their own interests, i.e. responsible.
When bad things happen to these wonderful, flawless people, it's Obama's fault because he's… well, you know.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 10:57 am

I like the last, the third, of the truculent oafs pictured, because he made no effort to hide the fact that he is in his mom's basement. You can tell by the naked floor joists right over his head.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

It's not really a basement… they just have a good sized crawl space… and don't tell Mom.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

Does have the Jarhead look sportin' though.

kissawookiee October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

Snark-free story: at the gym yesterday I overheard two women who are most likely closer to being the 1% than the 99% discussing OWS. Just as I was getting myself geared up for some righteous indignation at the spew I was certain was forthcoming, one said to the other, "My dad always said that if you're complaining about paying taxes, you should remember that you're paying taxes because you're making money, and be grateful." Then the other one said she absolutely agreed and wouldn't mind paying more taxes if it meant it would help people get healthcare.

Then I scooped my self-righteous jaw up off the floor and actually felt good about the world for a while. Now I read about the FiftyThreePercenters. It was nice while it lasted.

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

You have a gym membership? Elitist!

kissawookiee October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

Better yet, a gym membership I can afford thanks to a reduced rate negotiated by the scientific research company I work for, so it's a special brand of Ivory Tower Socialist Elitism!

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

Tsk tsk…don't you know REAL Americans are supposed to be about 50 lbs overweight with Cheetos-tinted fingernails and their only real exercise is shooting squirrels off their back porch?

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:25 am

"their only real exercise is shooting squirrels off their back porch?"

Is it okay that I pay an illegal to do that??? Frees up more Cheeto eatin' time.

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 11:07 am

Nice sentiment but since it won't happen until 10% of Americans are literally living in the gutter, their pocketbooks are safe for now so they can be as free with their words as they like.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

I wish I could say, man, what a tax increase on the rich would cost me, yet still I support it.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

I'll pay more and I am middle class. We have to do something (even for a stint of time) to get that debt down. They can keep the bit that is going to expire for payroll taxes. I won't miss it.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

If these are the people I am fighting for, well ya know, maybe they're right.
"I say, LET EM CRASH…."

Seriously if yall do the big "split apart" and leave me down here with no notice, I am going to be PIIIIIIIIIISSED. Why'd y'all fight so hard in the first place? What's been the great southern contribution this country just couldn't live without? Buncha idiots who didn't know what was good for them screwing it up for everyone else. Fan-fucking-tastic.

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

Jazz?

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:16 am

I'm saying Chicago would have sufficed there, even though I love New Orleans.

If people do not understand that government is HUMAN BEINGS getting together and figuring out how to make shit work, after a bunch of shit has already failed, (or protecting people from the gd private sector leeches) I just don't know what else to do for them. I just don't. I screwed up and left the house and was around some people. So I have an attitude now Sorry.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

This is why I like to call them "social luddites." Government is a social technology. They reject the technology and prefer to live as savages.

Wanna hear something cool? The expression "every man for himself," these people would probably thnk of it as a good thing, its the way they want the world to work, rugged individualists each taking care of themself.

But in military tradition, the order "every man for himself" is the last order given by the defeated army in a loss, in a rout. When matters devolve to hopeless chaos, the commander of the losing army frees his men from the obligation to the group and allows them to make whatever desperate lone effort they can to survive.

This is the way these people want things to be. Sad, pitiful things, these people.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:42 am

I used to call myself a luddite, and that was in the days of flashing 12:00 on vcrs. Thank god for uverse.
I just wonder if no one who believes all this every man for himself nonsense ever read about the things that happened to people during the Industrial Revolution or you know, LIVE HERE NOW AND SEE WHAT BP JUST DID TO THE FREAKING OCEAN and tourism in south Alabama or just know stuff, ever, in general.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:44 am

Thats just cause when tractors came out and farming got mechanized, you all stopped with the sharecropping and had the Klan chase all your negroes to Chicago and Harlem.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:12 am

Why, without the Souf we would have no, umm, no, wait, wait, I'll get it, wait, . . .

Coca Cola!

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

NASCAR?

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

20 years ago I went and was part of the infield of Talladega. I had the appropriate, um, accessories? Drugs? Yeah, drugs. It was fun. I imagine that is the only way that would have ever been that way. I hate this fucking place.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

I keed about NASCAR. Sometime I will tell you about my hotrods, way back when. And as far as youthful activities I am not proud of, well, there was motocross, ok, maybe thats ok, but there was also "muddin" in 4 wheel drive pickups. Lots of motorsports in my early days.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:37 am

Motocross is hot. I wasn't ever allowed to go muddin, but man I heard about it…

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

Well there's Mark Twain, Tennessee Williams and Flannery O'Connor; none of whom really seemed to like the South they grew up in though.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

Yes. Great art comes from misery, and we got that shit all wrapped up.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:30 am

We've got Paaula Deeaan too!

Lascauxcaveman October 11, 2011 at 12:17 pm

On the other hand, you've got authentic Cajun food. Yum.

Chet Kincaid October 11, 2011 at 11:26 am

There's not going to be a big split apart because the blacks, latinos, urban counties and college towns will not put up with it, and neither will their friends and relatives in the north. I get a little impatient with the snark about spinning off the south sometimes, because, as you well know, it's not homogenous.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 11:33 am

Thanks CK, this is why I love you. It just gets so depressing to see people say things that are soooooo contrary to their own good, so full of righteous wrongness, so ignorant at their core I just wanna shake em and say, ya know, if YOU don't want to be a part of the solution, AT LEAST stop causing so many problems…

Chet Kincaid October 11, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Bless your heart, in a completely unsnarky, non-condescending way!

I was born in Cleveland and raised in Chicago, but my parents were both from Georgia, and my oldest brother's family has been in Tennessee since the mid-80s. It seems that northern black folks have more ongoing connections to the south than white folks do, on account of the Great Migration, so the south is kind of ever-present, even if you don't live there. And lots of northern black folks have a romanticized yearning for the lifestyle down there, in spite of the vile profile of the governments.

Chet Kincaid October 11, 2011 at 12:21 pm

And hey, if there's any re-seceding going on, do we get to keep the Black Belt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Belt_(U.S._reg

The Fakaktas and other good folks are cordially invited to apply for citizenship. I'm sure we can let bygones be bygones and reach a harmonious, South Africa-style accommodation!

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:21 pm

I'm in the middle of reading The Warmth of Other Suns, and it has me convinced we should have left federal troops on every street corner in the South for at least 100 years after the civil war, and instituted a federal holiday where everyone gets the day off and round trip bus fare to travel down south and punch a white southerner in the face.

Pragmatist2 October 11, 2011 at 10:59 am

The greatest accomplishment of the "Conservatives" is that they have been able to convince a sizable portion of the middle class that their enemy is the poor and their ally is the rich. I stand in awe.

not that Dewey October 11, 2011 at 11:03 am

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist."

-Verbal Kint

P.S. fuckin' cops

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

Now you have to go and read your Trotsky, it will all make sense, look for the part where he describes the lumpen proletariat.

chicken_thief October 11, 2011 at 11:33 am

What really impresses me is how they can move the message, but still keep everyone in line. For example, for years it was "individual mandate" for health care. Then one day, when it looked like health care with an individual mandate was going to pass, they shift to "individual mandate is unconstitutional". And the masses follow. Just fucking amazing!

Chichikovovich October 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I read 1984 as a teenager, and I remember thinking the bit about everyone suddenly unblinkingly switching in an instant from "We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia." to "We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia." was a bit psychologically implausible.

A couple of decades of observation have taught me that Orwell was almost spookily accurate.

Lascauxcaveman October 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm

That was my problem, too, reading 1984 as a teenager. "OK, that's just fucking stupid, how could they switch Eastasia with Eurasia like that and everybody just swallows it? Yeah, right."

Shows you how much a teenager knows.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Kinda like going from "we have been attacked by Saudi Arabian religious militants" to "we must therefore invade secular and un-involved Iraq?"

GeorgiaBurning October 11, 2011 at 1:35 pm

20 years of cutting back public education has its pluses. Geography just confuses people, and makes it hard to keep your football team academically eligible.

emmelemm October 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Morgan's American Slavery, American Freedom: Rich white Southerners in antebellum times convinced poor white sharecroppers that they had something in common with rich whites: the color of their skin. They may have been poor, and getting screwed over by the riches, but at least they weren't BLACK.

Worked pretty good.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 2:56 pm

And it continues to this day; as the great poet put it:

A South politician preaches to the poor white man
“You got more than the blacks, don’t complain.
You’re better than them, you been born with white skin,” they explain.
And the Negro’s name
Is used it is plain
For the politician’s gain
As he rises to fame
And the poor white remains
On the caboose of the train
But it ain’t him to blame
He’s only a pawn in their game

The deputy sheriffs, the soldiers, the governors get paid
And the marshals and cops get the same
But the poor white man’s used in the hands of them all like a tool
He’s taught in his school
From the start by the rule
That the laws are with him
To protect his white skin
To keep up his hate
So he never thinks straight
’Bout the shape that he’s in
But it ain’t him to blame
He’s only a pawn in their game

From the poverty shacks, he looks from the cracks to the tracks
And the hoofbeats pound in his brain
And he’s taught how to walk in a pack
Shoot in the back
With his fist in a clinch
To hang and to lynch
To hide ’neath the hood
To kill with no pain
Like a dog on a chain
He ain’t got no name
But it ain’t him to blame
He’s only a pawn in their game

baconzgood October 11, 2011 at 10:59 am

Every one pays taxes. What are these people talking about. Every time you buy peanuts you pay sales taxes. What about your car? Gas is taxed. Your Redman? Tax on tabacco? But seriously we ought to be taxed because we need a super huge army to fight browns.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

They don't count Social Security as taxes, even though it is all being diverted to the same use as general tax revenues. Except when they do want to count SS as taxes. Whatever works for the argument they are making at that particular moment.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:52 am

Kinda like that Bible book they use.

Chichikovovich October 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Sales taxes including the hugely inflated taxes on gasoline and cigarettes? Not taxes. Payroll taxes? Not taxes. State income taxes? Not taxes. Municipal property taxes? Not taxes. Capitol gains taxes? (An issue for retirees trying to eke out a living on savings.) Not taxes. Fees for drivers licences, car registration and licence plate renewal far in excess of the cost of these actions to the government? Not taxes. Tolls on roads taking you to and from work? Not taxes. Fees for starting a business, transferring a deed, getting a building permit, getting a marriage licence? Not taxes. Fees charged to file for bankruptcy? Not taxes. Fees involved in immigrating, getting a green card, and becoming a citizen [believe me, you have no idea how much that is if you haven't done it]? Not taxes. The ten bucks or more tacked on to every plane ticket for using the airport? Not a tax. The oversized fines in fully-disguised small-town speed traps aimed at nabbing revenue from out-of-staters just passing through who can't stay to argue? Not a tax.

Those people who "aren't paying any taxes" are sure being soaked with non-taxes.

My proposal is that we also count the income tax as "not a tax". The only thing that counts as a "tax" is the sales tax you pay on books (not from Amazon). Then I bet we'd get some astonishing numbers of people who "don't pay taxes" including 100% of tea partiers and Brietbart readers.

Chillwaver October 11, 2011 at 11:00 am

Poor, white & dumb. Corporate tools with 53% brain activity. Worst camwhore site ever, also.

ThundercatHo October 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

Well, they have cameras/cellphones so they can't be poor. If these are the 53% then the stupid population has risen by at least 2% since W was "re-elected". Btw, is this how you're supposed to do this Tumblr thingy or can't these people type their comments/lists/personal horror stories on their phones/computers?

fitley October 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

These guys can always get another job in the men's locker room at country club golf courses washing the balls of the rich.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Looks to me like they already are.

ProudLibunatic October 11, 2011 at 11:07 am

No snark here, (sorry).
I am so sick of these self-defeating, easily manipulated and damaged assholes.
Can't take this in the morning.

(Pads off for more coffee.)

Wadisay October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

I sympathize with the first guy. I, too, am porn-poor.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

Well, fuck something.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:18 pm

My grandfather pulled my grandmother up by her bootstraps, without any help from the government!

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Yeah, and that was just last weekend.

Chillwaver October 11, 2011 at 11:09 am

#3: "I am a former member of The White Stripes."

Slim_Pickins October 11, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Meg?

horsedreamer_1 October 11, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Insane Clown Posse?

prommie October 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

So, this is what these dudes are doing now that they have gotten bored with playing cockshot on chatroullette?

FidoMcCokefiend October 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

Wait. First they were "Taxed Enough Already" and wanted no taxes to the Feds whatsoever. Now, they are bragging about paying taxes?

These people are fucking insane.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 11:57 am

Pretty soon we'll have them asking for a tax increase. Checkmate!

Guppy06 October 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

I swear to God I went to college with "truckerdude." He was a douche then, too.

Pres.Libunatic October 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

You'll be poor and swimming in debt and YOU'LL LIKE IT AND ASK FOR MORE!

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:54 am

FREEDUMB!

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:46 pm

THANK YOU, SIR!! MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

GeorgiaBurning October 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

These poor bastards are just so happy they can feel superior to someone else.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Should we tell them what the average San Francisco resident earns?

GeorgiaBurning October 11, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Hell, show them what the average Fresno resident earns. SF is crowded enough.

Left_Leftie October 12, 2011 at 1:28 am

San Francisco is far too blue for these bootstrappers. Between Nancy Pelosi, our San Francisco values and the gays (don't forget the gays!) they'd never get a night's rest. Stockton had the highest foreclosure rate in the country at one point. Let's send them there.

veritass October 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

Status Quo 2012!

JoshuaNorton October 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

♫♪ Oliver, Oliver
Never before has a boy wanted more

Oliver, Oliver
Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store
There's a dark, thin winding stairway without any banistair
Which we'll throw him down
and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister

Oliver, Oliver
What will he do when he's turned black and blue
He will rue the day somebody named him Ol-i-ver ♫♪

Sue4466 October 11, 2011 at 11:20 am

Based on their stories of low paying jobs and poverty, doesn't that place most of them in the 47% they're saying don't pay taxes (as bullshit as that is)?

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

They probably see that they pay payroll taxes, and don't realize that they're part of the 47% because they don't know how the lie works.

Sue4466 October 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

Yep. Exactly.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Taxes, schmaxes; they probably cost the government more than they make, what with the food stamps and the incarcerations and all.

Not_So_Much October 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

Looking at these morans, I think the 53 is in reference to IQ…

veritass October 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

Satire is dead. Oct 11, 2011. Never Forget™

paris biltong October 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

The trick is making people believe that their problems are caused by fictitious enemies, such as the Jews, the Arabs, the Blacks, the Mexicans, the unions, the Catholics, the Protestants, etc. If need be, go to war against those enemies.

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 11:25 am

With all due deference to Nancy Grace, there is no such thing as a free blowjob.

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

I think the 53% to which Erik the Red refers is the amount of cerebral tissue remaining after his "procedure."

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

When I got out of the Corps ('70) it was: No ex-Marines, only Marines and former Marines. Am I out of the loop again?

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

Not as much as I probably am! If you’re right, the kid is right, and I respectfully withdraw my comment. Although he could still be faking it.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 11:49 am

If he is, it's his problem.

proudgrampa October 11, 2011 at 12:00 pm

According to Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, NCIS: once a Marine, always a Marine.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I sure couldn't do the chores today (at 70).

mereoblivion October 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

"The proud-to-be-shat-upon you will always have with you."

DonnyKerabotsos October 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

And proud we are of all of them.

ingloriousbytch October 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

This looks like a lead up to a mass suicide. Like those people are going to tape those notes to their chests right before they close the garage door and start their cars. Of course most of them don't own cars so they'll just have to eat their guns.

Fawkdifiknow October 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

"I have 53% of a brain, morans. Stop whining. You could be as stupid as me, and have to make do with it."

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

LIE_BERALS DID SUMTHING THEREFORE BECAUSE I CANNOT ABIDE THEM I MUST DO EXACTLY THE SAME THING THEY DUN DID GOD SED I SHUD ALSO

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

You know what? The real problem is that the President is Near. These poor shitstains make me think they actually deserve another eight years of total Republican Rule. Fuck-em! I'm old and I'm set for life, let them have their way, they fucking deserve it.

comrad_darkness October 11, 2011 at 11:34 am

Except that they are already setting up a police state to hammer on the poorly documented browns and their kids because, you know, everything is all the browns' fault. They will bear the brunt of the next 8 years of shit as a distraction from republican mis-management and kleptocracy.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 11:56 am

Want an eye opener? In 50 years this Country will be 51% Brown, no matter what these people do. The Messicans, Nears and Mooslims are out producing the whites 5 to 1. Going to be a reckoning!

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:35 am

Marry me?

When I retire I am walling off the farm. Buying a shotgun. And begging for the Revolution where these whiners try to take my…whatever I have when I retire.

MistaEko October 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

We are the (people who don't realize how small the font is and really should have checked it by zooming out to) 53%.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

As a typography nerd, I applaud your post. WIN! (<visualize it in Avante Garde)

ManchuCandidate October 11, 2011 at 11:33 am

53%? It's their high school graduating average.

Chet Kincaid October 11, 2011 at 11:33 am

It would have been useful to have included some debunking links in this post. Here's one from last year, post 'em if you got 'em.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/business/econom

LesBontemps October 11, 2011 at 11:34 am

So, how are things in Oceania?

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

Fucked up, ever since East Asia bought controlling shares.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 11:35 am

On the bright side: "C" Street Bag Man and US Senator Tom Coburn has Prostate Cancer. http://t.co/4YM8KnsQ

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 11:42 am

"Physicians were shocked to discover the ease with which they were able to apply their many laproscopic instruments. Rarely do patients allow for external access to the large intestinal tract without sedation. They applauded the Senator's skills of relaxation and pliability. 'Everything went in smooth as silk. It's as if he'd been practicing or something,' related lead oncologist Dr. Fister McPoopencorn."

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Obviously an ample amount of Santorum was applied to ease access.

lulzmonger October 11, 2011 at 12:44 pm

At an emotional press-conference, doctors were ashen-faced as they reported that there was almost no hope of successfully freeing the innocent tumor from its captivity. Sounds of weeping & dry-heaving could be heard when one doctor announced that other tumors might develop & also be unfairly condemned to life inside a soulless fuckhead without parole.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Most Excellent!

glamourdammerung October 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Maybe Inhofe could strafe it like he does with airport employees.

ttommyunger October 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm

I don't think he could find HIS OWN asshole with both hands.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2011 at 11:36 am

These lunatics have the vote and I don't, seems wrong.

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm

You can stand over my shoulder while I pull my lever…

Limeylizzie October 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

How about I pull your lever for you?

crybabyboehner October 11, 2011 at 11:40 am

Come for the Anusburgers … stay for the health-related catastrophe.

mumbly_joe October 11, 2011 at 11:41 am

Of course, taken at face value, very few of them are actually "the 53%" who pay federal income taxes; heck, my income is under $50,000, I live in Manhattan, and rent's one of the handful of things that I can comfortably afford.

It's more likely that they belong to "the 41%" that's proved pretty easily manipulated into selectively conflating federal income tax, state and local income tax, payroll taxes, and also income tax witholding that is eventually refunded in full after filing, which is why Right-wing plutocrats are so fond of claiming that so many people don't pay (net positive federal income) taxes, in the first place.

DaRooster October 11, 2011 at 11:43 am

Instat potatoes 2… (Them you can make real fast!)

jodyleek October 11, 2011 at 11:58 am

Patatoes, potatoes
Tamatoes, tomatoes
Les call the hole thing of!

Polythene_Pam October 11, 2011 at 11:43 am

I am the 52%

I was lower middle class growing up, but we always managed.

I have always had one job or another. Sometimes two or three at the same time.

I have always seen the value in paying taxes, even if I would rather keep all of the money for myself. Who wouldn't? But, I like living in a community that has infrastructure & safety nets for those who need them (there but for the grace of random chance go I) and know that my taxes help pay for that.

I think that capitalism is a pretty nifty idea, but think that the money that capitalists earn should not be used like a bully uses his physical size & strength, to control those weaker or smaller. And, certainly, wealth should not equal a larger voice in a democracy.

I don't think the 99% or the 47% are whining. I think they're just all speaking up at the same time and I think that they have just as much right to be heard and really listened to as the 1%.

LesBontemps October 11, 2011 at 11:47 am

Needz moar shoutiness.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm

needz moar mispelings

GorzoTheMighty October 11, 2011 at 11:44 am

Please tell me these people aren't capable of breeding. The gene pool can't handle this much stupid.

James Michael Curley October 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

I am far from rich; ————–>, a little farther than that.
The house has equity, all the taxes are paid and I have an IRA.
I did not get these things fighting the government.
I got and kept them fighting various corporations trying to deprive me of them.

BlueStateLibel October 11, 2011 at 11:51 am

You will pry my poverty, overwork, and unresponsive government from my cold dead hands!

Tundra Grifter October 11, 2011 at 11:55 am

The 47% and 53% numbers have been repeated to the point they mean nothing. The trick when discussing taxes and trying to make the rich look better is to keep shifting the basis of the data presented.

The top 1% (Adjusted Gross Income – AGI – on Federal income tax returns) collected 20%. Why is it a surprise that the top 1% paid 38% of the income tax?

The top 5% collected 34.73% of all AGI. And paid 58.72% of Federal income tax.

Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity loves to ask people if they think $250,000 per year makes someone "rich." Well, the cutoff for the top 5% is $159,619. "Yes, it does" – because 95% of the returns show AGI of less than $160,000.

The bottom 50% collected 12.75% of the reported AGI and paid 2.70% of the tax collected. What happened to that 47% number? The cutoff is just $33,048 per year. And 3% of twenty-five or thirty grand a year hurts a lot more than 24% of $380,000.

Take a look at the data for yourself:
http://www.taxfoundation.org/news/show/250.html#D

KotBR October 11, 2011 at 11:55 am

Like this is the first time the rich have had the poor fight their battles for them…

Cicada October 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Indeed. The Pinkertons busting heads at Homestead weren't members of the ruling class. It's depressing how predictable this shit is.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Was it one of the Rockefellers who said, "I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half"?

Redhead October 11, 2011 at 11:56 am

These are the 53(ish)% who pay no federal income taxes because their salaries are so low and who have benefited or will benefit from social net programs like Welfare, food stamps and universal health insurance, right? I'm kinda missing the point of their protesting against their own interests here… can someone explain it to me?

hagajim October 11, 2011 at 12:00 pm

You know, I once had a guy working for me (one of the 1% types) who for the life of him couldn't figure out how in the hell someone survived on what passes for an average American income…then I showed him where the "average" American lives and he said – OH.

mumbly_joe October 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Also, let's all note that Ewick son of Ewick is so poor that he needs to work three jobs. I mean, granted, all of them involve being intellectually dishonest in public, and if one were to actually employ that definition elsewhere, someone like Paul Krugman has something like 5 or 6 jobs. Hey, I think I figured out where all the jobs went! Multi-media personalities are apparently hoarding them all!

Point being, Erick son of Disappointed Parents has three jobs the same way Mitt Romney is unemployed.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:02 pm

"I am the 50% + 1"

-Karl Rove

Weenus299 October 11, 2011 at 12:03 pm

If you are sad about your Shitty United States Life, where you have no arms and no job and no dog to suck you off, then You are an Elitist.

Tundra Grifter October 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Lazy and stupid (I repeat myself) right wing gas bags slide "pay no Federal income taxes" into just "pay no taxes."

As has been pointed out here before, that's impossible. Everybody pays taxes – starting with state sales tax (in many states). There's state and Federal excise taxes on gasoline.

Property taxes.

Payroll taxes – Social Security and Medicare. No matter how much salary one makes, Social Security caps out on wages just over $100,000. So low income people pay a much higher percentage of their total earnings in payroll taxes than rich folks.

Everybody pays taxes.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Now, there are some people who pay no taxes; like babies, and coma patients, and um – no I think that's it.

Tundra Grifter October 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Another lie I'm very tired of hearing is "Corporations don't pay taxes. People pay taxes. If ccorporate taxes go up, they just pass the cost along to the consumer."

This is a fascinating economic theory – the perfectly elastic price. According to this "theory," there's no limit to how much the corporation can charge for its goods or services.

Which leads me to ask why it didn't just raise the price before taxes went up?

This isn't economic theory – this is garbage.

Gomez571 October 11, 2011 at 2:55 pm

This is the same logic that is applied against raising the minimum wage. "If I have to pay my employees 50 cents more per hour I will have to lay off workers because no one will pay an extra 10 cents for a hamburger. If I have to raise my prices I won't be able to compete with the burger chain down the street because my prices will have to go up because I am the only business that has to pay higher wages… wait a minute."

Tundra Grifter October 11, 2011 at 3:46 pm

G-Man:

Not to mention the business person who pays more than minimum wage (and please keep in mind $15/hour sounds like a lot – until you work it out to $30K/year with, probably, no real benefits) is probably going to get a better quality employee who adds value to the enterprise.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:54 pm

"If I can't own slaves and dump cancer juice into the reservoir, I might as well close my doors right now, piss gripe bitch & moan"

Billmatic October 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm

This kind of shit makes me so sangry.

An_Outhouse October 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm

They remind me of a troll yesterday on the OccupyBuffalo Facebook page. He had a college degree in electronics and is happily employed as a Walmart associate. It is Facebook after all and all that info was public.

mumbly_joe October 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Wait, I thought that these people hated paying taxes and complained all the time about having to pay taxes, and also believed that paying taxes isn't patriotic.

But now they're saying that paying (one particular type of) taxes makes them better and more patriotic and SMRTER than those protesting on wall street and elsewhere, advocating not only for the debt-strapped and the unemployed poor, but also for the middle class that has ultimately had the burden from wars of choice and tax cuts for the super-rich shifted to themselves, and who arguably include quite a few of the putative "53%", to boot.

But everybody, it's important to remember: it's the Occupy Wall Street kids who are aimless and have a confused, muddled, mixed message that is too caught up in class warfare to have any coherence, and definitely not this crap.

Slim_Pickins October 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Health insurance is socialist, anyway.

Midway117 October 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm

If these people can do it all themselves, without any help from the government, what are they doing on the INTERNET????

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Keep yer gubmint hands off my Internet!

Seriously, I had an argument with someone who was deathly afraid of having "a government-controlled Internet." I had to give him a history lesson.

mrblifil October 11, 2011 at 1:58 pm

I'd also like to know how they are getting their WATER?

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Yawn. Call me when they have two weeks of continuous protests in all major cities across the country, and not some stupid Internet post that took 5 minutes to create.

Nostrildamus October 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Fox News: We are the 147%.

mavenmaven October 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Football has been the greatest brainwashing tool of all time. Convince people that they must "root for their team" no matter how they do, that they will be "faggots" if they don't, etc, while the team owners continuously take their money. This is the republican model.

UnholyMoses October 11, 2011 at 12:51 pm

This whole thing by Eric Sonofericson and Josh Trevinohmygodhe'sadouche has NOTHING to do with taxes or anything else.

It's another attempt for them to feel both superior to poor people/those who are Not Like Them, while also blaming poor people/those who are Not Like Them for all the problems in the world.

After all, it wasn't the bankers who convinced people that worthless shit was grade-A gold, all while short selling those investments because they knew they were shit. Nope. No siree. Ayn Rand would never allow such a thing.

It's all those poor people who need things like food and housing and stuff.

As most things with them, it's all tribal bullshit.

(And sorry for the lack of snark. Don't have the energy right now.)

lulzmonger October 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Black POTUS? TAXES ARE EVIL!
Hippies protesting? TAXES RAWK, D00D!

Shorter We Are The Judas Iscariots = "This jackboot on my neck kind of tickles! Also, hippies are smelly, EWWWWWW."

Thanks for sharing, you masochistic sick fucks.

frostbitefalls October 11, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I can't be snarky either. On the 99% site, the people are saying "I'm one of the lucky ones," presumably because they aren't fucking homeless yet. Exercising some kinda humility and generosity in the face of really shitty circumstances. These Red State people are pissing on them. It makes me sick.

chascates October 11, 2011 at 1:03 pm

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich and the poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."
–Anatole France

KeepFnThatChicken October 11, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Are there any in your 53% who think it might have been cheaper to have mandated health care earlier? Say, before we lost confidence in the economy, or before fuel prices went up, or when inflation wasn't the canker it is today?

Can you answer that fucking question? No? Then shut the goddamn hell up. WE TRIED THIS BEFORE, but you preferred your "subscriber socialism" better.

What is "subscriber socialism" you ask? That's called "health insurance." See how well that shit worked?

glamourdammerung October 11, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, Mr. "former marine" has no insurance and had to "pay their own way through college". Riiiiiiight.

finallyhappy October 11, 2011 at 2:25 pm

He would have Tricare-but maybe he was dishonorably discharged- if he ever was a Marine

snoopyfan2010 October 11, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Oh dear……aren't they better than everyone else?

sati_demise October 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm

The entire Occupy Wall Street movement can be summed up with a yield curve.

Rich borrow at 0% (or less), poor borrow at 30%

Financial apartheid.

Cicada October 11, 2011 at 1:42 pm

To look at another human who is struggling and feel only scorn and self-righteousness is an amazingly ugly way to live. I feel a weird mix of anger and pity for these people.

L188188 October 11, 2011 at 1:49 pm

With masochists like this among us, why do we need the messicans?

glamourdammerung October 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

There sure seems to be a lot of these clowns starting their own businesses with no money. And yet still seem to live hand to mouth, which makes the bragging seem even more odd.

So, anyone else wondering which ones of these "small business owners" are involved in drug dealing and which ones just do kiddie porn?

gurukalehuru October 11, 2011 at 2:49 pm

The 53% are part of the 99%. Whether they like it or not. And, of course, everybody pays sales tax.

ingloriousbytch October 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I love the one of the 24 year old woman who says she has three corporations. Someone needs to tell her that stripping, dealing weed and sucking guys off behind the Walmart aren't "corporations."

elfgoldsackring October 11, 2011 at 6:56 pm

"Suck it up and drive on."

You're right, that IS a great idea for a business!

Diabeetis October 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Most of the actual "53%" probably aren't even aware this Tumblr exists, let alone care.

Left_Leftie October 12, 2011 at 1:22 am

Free bootstraps for everyone!

DeathofKoalas October 12, 2011 at 8:44 am

Man, you guys have really lowered the bar for the American Dream… I mean, what red blooded 'murkin doesn't dream of paralyzing their right arm in an accident in 1978?

Otis_Woods October 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Looks like somebody made a FB group for 'em, but I don't think they will like it much… http://www.facebook.com/groups/235598893163968/
It's even funnier than the real one!

athenaprime October 16, 2011 at 11:14 am

Wow, I didn't realize 53% of us moved to the United States of Butthurt.

Generation[redacted] October 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

As long as you don't pay 'em too much. First they outlawed slavery, then sharecropping, and now they're gettin' rid of our illegals! It's gettin' so a man can't get an honest days work without having to pay for it anymore!

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 11:57 am

I only pay 3/5th of minimum wage. So I bet I am cool.

prommie October 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Have you heard Rise Against?

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I have not, but upon googling, I feel this may be a band I would appreciate…

prommie October 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Help Is On The Way, is the first one I heard, I'm an Olde Skoole punk rock-liking guy, so I like that hard and fast thing, but they are loudly liberal and progressive, too.

jus_wonderin October 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Yes. Yum, indeed.

SorosBot October 11, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Not even better quality, a decently paid employee is more likely to actually give a shit about doing a good job than one making minimum wage.

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Then why hasn't Texas executed one yet?

tessiee October 11, 2011 at 11:50 pm

"That would sound so much more cool if I sounded like James Earl Jones."

Of course, that's true of anything.

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