RECALL WALKER  6:53 pm October 7, 2011

Crooked Jerk Scott Walker Dropped $60,000 In State Money On iPads

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

This photo is why we keep posting about Walker, because it is fun and true.Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler Scott Walker does not have enough hours in the day to strip the fillings from the teeth of Wisconsin public teachers and pensioners under his sanctimonious Kochsucker banner of “austerity measures,” but he still somehow managed to dig out $60,000 from the taxpayer piggy bank to buy scores of iPads for all the employees of the Scott Walker-created state economic development agency. Pay attention kids, this is how the new Walker corporate-puppet-dictator Loyalty Rewards Program works!

From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

“Wisconsin is broke, and it’s time to start paying our bills today so our kids are not stuck with even bigger bills tomorrow,” Walker said earlier this year.

But one state agency may not have gotten the message.

The newly created Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. has dropped a little more than $43,000 to buy 73 iPads for everyone on the staff. The agency, formerly the state Department of Commerce, currently has 63 employees but is in the middle of filling other positions.

Toss in the activation fees and the monthly cost for 3G service for 35 of the iPads, and the cost rises to just about $60,000 for the year.

Ugh, when’s that recall happening again? [JSOnline]

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tihond October 7, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Corruption: There's an app for that!

horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 9:58 am

Justin Long and Scott Walker need to be scuttled on an ice-floe.

tihond October 7, 2011 at 6:55 pm

He was just really torn up by Steve's death, and this was the only way he knew how to deal with his pain.

littlebigdaddy October 7, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Too soon!

Rotundo_ October 7, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Scooter is always a big driver of austerity for *someone else* just like all our Republican friends. Nice to know that while class sizes go north of the 50 to 60 mark in elementary schools and the arts are cancelled that there will be republican lackeys playing video games and listening to tunes on our dime while attracting more minimum wage jobs to the state. Attaboy Scooter!!!11!!

ManchuCandidate October 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Sure the iPad will help the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp: A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of the Koch Corp play Angry Birds when they're not Koch sucking, but it won't help them in the real life game of Angry Cheezheads.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 7, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I have an idea for a new game:

Heads On Pikes

Whatcha think, Manchu?

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I would like to buy a pike in support of your program.

Also, I would like a subscription to your newsletter.

ManchuCandidate October 7, 2011 at 11:46 pm

I like it. Better than the current game, "Coddle Psychopathic Motherfuckers"

horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 10:03 am

The Walker-Kleefisch Reich — hey, we're all German in 'Sconsin, so we can say it without violating Godwin; it's in our blood — has branded its enforcement of ACA as "the Office of Free Market Health Care" and is hurrying thru givebacks to insurers while doing the bare minimum to follow the law. They hope it's enough to avoid the federal DHHS taking charge in 2014, as is prescribed for non-compliant states.

Just an FYI on further GOOPER malfeasance in the Backward State.

Nostrildamus October 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Walker was just entranced by the amazing variety of available fart apps:

hollywooddood October 7, 2011 at 9:16 pm

My iPad can fart out "Hail to the Chief".

weejee October 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Is there a dickshunary app for the iPad so to avoid Kochsuckers?

Beowoof October 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Republicans always do this shit, screw the working people over while they get best of everything. Any republican app is basically how to be an asshole while screwing the little people.

lefty74 October 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Scoot Wanker is a crosseyed elephant fluffer working the Koch Bros.Circus.

horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 10:04 am

He makes Matt Leinart's eyes look straight.

FlownOver October 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Everyone knows the job creators demand high quality handheld pr0n, so this is a legit strategy.

Not sure what to think about the ten employees who got two iPads each, though — don't they need a free hand?

tihond October 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm

The Republicans needed something that could run grindr.

johnnyzhivago October 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

If they areusing them to play angry birds I approve….

Sent from my ipad

SarahsBush October 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm

You mean Angry Curds.

GunToting[Redacted] October 8, 2011 at 11:19 am

Angry Turds.

YouBetcha October 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Much easier to fap in the bathroom with an iPad than with a laptop. Have a heart, liberals. Even Kochsucker tools and 60 or so of their closest allies need a device for their ghey pr0n.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Nothing like slamming the ol' fire hose in the laptop while fapping, eh?

natoslug October 7, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Thank you! I finally have a reason for an iPad that my wife will approve.

BarackMyWorld October 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm

I don't have a problem with this (because it could very well be a legitimate government expense…though so are the teachers and police that have lost their jobs), even though every time a Democrat tries to spend money on ANYTHING it gets labelled "Wasteful" and quickly becomes a right-wing talking point. I'm not against governments (even those ran by Republicans) spending money, I'm against Republicans automatically freaking out when anyone else spends money.

Having said that, fuck that asshole.

rocktonsam October 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Cripes, its only 60,000.00 dollars.

That's just one teacher or cop/

hollywooddood October 7, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Everybody knows teachers, bus drivers, nurses and janitors bankrupted the economy.

flamingpdog October 8, 2011 at 12:40 am

Fart, everybody knows that unionized teachers make that much in a week.

horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 10:05 am

Not even in the Nicolet School District, where the yobs just reinstalled Alberta Darling, is that true.

Badonkadonkette October 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm


Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:47 am

AlterNewt October 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Scott Walker: The IPud

Radiodead October 7, 2011 at 7:24 pm

I'm cross-eyed mad!!1!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Well, thank God Walker cut education spending.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Yes, the electorate won't have the skillset required to hold the miserable motherfucker to account.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 7, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Or even read about his corrupt misdeeds. It is a win/win in Walkerland.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

I'm gonna need a few dozen more handkerchiefs to dry my crying eyes over the way the Republicans have coordinated this brilliant, multi-faceted assault on civilization, and everything that makes this country great.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:48 am

Yes, he would prefer to be called God Walker than Gov Walker. Personally, I prefer God that Wanker.

Callyson October 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Tom Thieding, spokesman for the new agency, said the iPads were cheaper than buying everyone a laptop.
"There was a need for a technology upgrade," Thieding said. "The old Department of Commerce – it was just lumbering along."
I suppose that, in contrast, Wisconsin's teachers and schoolchildren have all the technological upgrades they need…

mayor_quimby October 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Fuck that guy, they just wanted toys. An iPad is not a laptop replacement, trust me. iPads are like a virus once they get into a company, everyone gets jealous and it's off to the races, that's how I got mine :)
Also, you can get laptops for 350 bucks, I think a sales weasel from CDW got in someone's ear and started promising Packer tickets and BJs

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:50 am

They have all the technology they need. They just don't have pencils and toilet paper.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Yes, it is a day in the week ending with "Y", so it must be Republican Hypocrisy Day.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Teachers could seriously use those iPads, Mr. Walker. If you're going to buy them, you should buy them for everyone.

emmelemm October 7, 2011 at 9:04 pm

That "share with the class, bring enough for everyone" stuff is just the kind of kindergarden socialist clap-trap that Walker and his Kochlords have vowed to eradicate!

Please report to the camps immediately for this indiscretion.

GeorgiaBurning October 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Which campaign contributor got the $150,000 (I'm guessing) training contract? I'm thinking that the 'Wisconsin Economic Development Corp" will need a lot of training to understand these internet thingamawhatzits.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:16 pm

See, that's the part that isn't being reported. Everybody knows the hardware (or the software) costs $X. But that's not where the seller makes their money. The money is in the support and training contracts we get the suckers to sign. Buy our $1M software package, and we'll give you gold-level customer support plus on-site training plus personalized setup, but that'll cost you $8M extra.

GeorgiaBurning October 7, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Exactly right. The basic hardware or software may be sold pretty reasonably; but only tied with some ridiculous markup on support and training. That can get neatly buried in some other budget line item, along with the salesman's commission listed as a "consulting fee".

AJWjr. October 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I'd start looking for Deloitte fingerprints, is what I'd do.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:53 am

Don't forget the paper the secretaries will need to print out hard copies of everything the execs can't learn how to copy and save.

SarahsBush October 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

There's 63 votes bought and paid for.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Yeah, Meg Witless tried that in CA, and it's just too expensive, even for an EBay billionaire, to buy enough of them to, you know, win, or something.

owhatever October 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm

It's a great day in Wisconsin! The governor did not want to waste that money by giving those I Pads to teachers.

SudsMcKenzie October 8, 2011 at 1:12 am


Extemporanus October 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm

In Scott Walker's defense, the agency's Freedom Trays® and crayons were rather outdated.

And sticky. Very, very sticky.

Not_So_Much October 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Do they all boot up to

PsycWench October 7, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Nah, that's just the source for the screensavers.

rocktonsam October 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm

they boot up to the Packers, because that's all anybody gives a fuck about up here.


PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm


horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 10:07 am


edgydrifter October 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Now they can make shitty Powerpoint slides twice as fast. Efficiency!

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Oh god is there anything more dreaded than the CEO's (or project mangler's, or whoever's) PowerPoint presentation at meetings?

GunToting[Redacted] October 8, 2011 at 11:25 am

DBP (Death By PowerPoint).

PalinzADummy October 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Thanks, GunToting! I haven't heard *that* in a while!

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:55 am

Pie Chart Libel.

Come here a minute October 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Of course they buy from Apple — they love monopolies!

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

So this is the motherfucking prick who tells us that we can't let teachers and nurses have collective bargaining rights or wage increases because the state is broke and we need smaller government and HE JUST CREATED THIS NEW FUCKING GOVERNMENT AGENCY? And THEY don't have a hiring freeze?

Anybody driving up to WI need someone to spell ya, hold yer baseball bat, or just hold the motherfucker while the rest of you kick him repeatedly in the nuts? Because I could volunteer for this, ya know.

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Nothing's too good for the children of donors.

Goonemeritus October 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Next week the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. will be further developing the economy by snorting a mountain of blow of a stack of hookers.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 8:02 pm

OT: Oh, shit. Some whack-ass evangelical pastor that introduced Rick Perry to the Values Voters Summit just cold called Mitt Romney's Mormonism a cult, and is now going on cable news basically saying exactly the same thing. Dude looks like a Ted Haggard in the making.

Get the popcorn. The schaden freuds itself when the wingnuts fight.

fuflans October 7, 2011 at 8:16 pm

i heard that too. and thought the very same thing.

the DC pundits / national media are all like 'mittens has it in the bag'.

i don't they really understand the sheer horror of the teabagging monster they've created.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm

I've been saying for many months that I think the Republican Party is going to do what it always does and hand Romney the nomination, but these guys are really testing my theory. Will the Chamber of Commerce and their ilk really allow the baggers to destroy their chances at taking the White House, next year? I'm still fully expecting them to somehow buy the baggers off before things get too out of hand. I don't know how they'll do it, but there is no way they are going to let Citizens United go to waste.

PalinzADummy October 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I dunno, hon. The baggers are in as pissy a mood as is possible. Why, some of them are even joining #ows!

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I better go hold their coats. Fight! Fight!

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 6:59 am

Millions of magic underpants are in a twist.

mrblifil October 7, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Problem is Walker keeps looking for the two little knobs, like his Etch-a-Sketch used to have back in the day.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 8:20 pm

I b'leev his Etch-a-Sketch *still has* the twiddly little knobs. He can't bring himself to admit that when he tries Teh Googlez on it, he never gets the same results as others.

coolhandnuke October 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

May a maxipad, the width of a telephone pole, apply itself to Gov. Cheesedicks rancid Velveeta spurting quiche hole.

ttommyunger October 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

"Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler…" I disagree with this assessment. I would judge him much more Ferret-Faced. Knobgobbler, fer sure; but Ferret Faced.

Blueb4sunrise October 7, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Do those iPad thingies have GPS tracking?

fuflans October 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm

one day closer to complete civic breakdown.

rock on republicans.

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm

I try to avoid the ad hominem attack, just before diving right in. Walker reminds me of the salesman who sold my wife and I our first new car. Tapping on a headlight with a pen, he said, "Look! Plastic! No broken glass to worry about in an accident!".
Right, why sell the sizzle OR the steak, when you can peddle the gristle and the grease?
Every move Walker makes reminds me of that. Weasel-faced or Ferret-faced, that's a tough call.

flamingpdog October 8, 2011 at 12:50 am

With all due respect to my good friend ttommy, ferrets are weasels. My personal preference in ad hominem is armadildo-faced.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 7:03 am

Whatever happened to Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Git? A classic.

AJWjr. October 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

So, what were the windows on this wondercar made of?

MilwaukeeKent October 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Well, it was a 1993 Ford Escort, so it was better than a Chevy Streetwalker or a Dodge Does-It-In-Doorways, but no means equal to the Cadillac Callgirl. The windows were normal Ford windows, meaning they fogged up every time the temperature changed more than five degrees.

Gorillionaire October 7, 2011 at 9:25 pm

So what does this "Economic Development Corp" do exactly, fly around the country and drive up expense accounts? That's progress.

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Steal jobs from other states in a mad race to the bottom, mostly by giving away the store. Massive give-aways, tax-free status, we'll pay YOU to move here, destroy unions, you know, the usual.

Negropolis October 8, 2011 at 1:30 am

Hell, my smallish city has a economic development corporation. It seems most cities do, now. They are quasi-municipal agencies of the city. The city appoints the executive and/or board, but they are run independently of city government, otherwise.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2011 at 7:07 am

If you're in South Carolina you accompany the governor to France to take meetings that begin, "It's a bee-u-ti-ful day in Par-ee!"

crybabyboehner October 8, 2011 at 1:28 am

iPads for the rich, reacharounds for the rest.

GunToting[Redacted] October 8, 2011 at 11:49 am

Tiny American flags for all!

Ducksworthy October 8, 2011 at 2:07 am

Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler- Thank you Kbj

Beanball October 8, 2011 at 3:58 am

$60,000? that's peanuts – wait till the bill arrives for going over their 2GB cap.

Tundra Grifter October 8, 2011 at 11:04 am

We went to see George Clooney's "Ides of March" last night (great movie!) and the Governor's campaign handed out pre-programed cell phones to all the workers and interrns.

Same idea?

DahBoner October 9, 2011 at 9:41 pm

"$60,000 In State Money On iPads"


anneshelby October 10, 2011 at 3:18 am

Him and his sons sell them on ebay.

horsedreamer_1 October 8, 2011 at 10:12 am

I don't know. She's prolly too busy peeling off toilet paper from her house — it is the homecoming weekend at the local high school, so the pom-pom girls tp'd the football players's houses; one of the Gov's kids plays on the team (not well) — to say.

By the by, I am surprised the tp'ing of the kid's house wasn't incorrectly ascribed to anarcho-syndicalist agitators by the professional victims of the Right.

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