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This photo is why we keep posting about Walker, because it is fun and true.Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler Scott Walker does not have enough hours in the day to strip the fillings from the teeth of Wisconsin public teachers and pensioners under his sanctimonious Kochsucker banner of “austerity measures,” but he still somehow managed to dig out $60,000 from the taxpayer piggy bank to buy scores of iPads for all the employees of the Scott Walker-created state economic development agency. Pay attention kids, this is how the new Walker corporate-puppet-dictator Loyalty Rewards Program works!

From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

“Wisconsin is broke, and it’s time to start paying our bills today so our kids are not stuck with even bigger bills tomorrow,” Walker said earlier this year.

But one state agency may not have gotten the message.

The newly created Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. has dropped a little more than $43,000 to buy 73 iPads for everyone on the staff. The agency, formerly the state Department of Commerce, currently has 63 employees but is in the middle of filling other positions.

Toss in the activation fees and the monthly cost for 3G service for 35 of the iPads, and the cost rises to just about $60,000 for the year.

Ugh, when’s that recall happening again? [JSOnline]

  • tihond

    Corruption: There's an app for that!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Justin Long and Scott Walker need to be scuttled on an ice-floe.

  • tihond

    He was just really torn up by Steve's death, and this was the only way he knew how to deal with his pain.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Too soon!

  • Rotundo_

    Scooter is always a big driver of austerity for *someone else* just like all our Republican friends. Nice to know that while class sizes go north of the 50 to 60 mark in elementary schools and the arts are cancelled that there will be republican lackeys playing video games and listening to tunes on our dime while attracting more minimum wage jobs to the state. Attaboy Scooter!!!11!!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sure the iPad will help the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp: A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of the Koch Corp play Angry Birds when they're not Koch sucking, but it won't help them in the real life game of Angry Cheezheads.

    • ifthethunderdontgetya

      I have an idea for a new game:

      Heads On Pikes

      Whatcha think, Manchu?

      • PalinzADummy

        I would like to buy a pike in support of your program.

        Also, I would like a subscription to your newsletter.

      • ManchuCandidate

        I like it. Better than the current game, "Coddle Psychopathic Motherfuckers"

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Walker-Kleefisch Reich — hey, we're all German in 'Sconsin, so we can say it without violating Godwin; it's in our blood — has branded its enforcement of ACA as "the Office of Free Market Health Care" and is hurrying thru givebacks to insurers while doing the bare minimum to follow the law. They hope it's enough to avoid the federal DHHS taking charge in 2014, as is prescribed for non-compliant states.

      Just an FYI on further GOOPER malfeasance in the Backward State.

  • Nostrildamus
    • hollywooddood

      My iPad can fart out "Hail to the Chief".

  • weejee

    Is there a dickshunary app for the iPad so to avoid Kochsuckers?

  • Beowoof

    Republicans always do this shit, screw the working people over while they get best of everything. Any republican app is basically how to be an asshole while screwing the little people.

  • lefty74

    Scoot Wanker is a crosseyed elephant fluffer working the Koch Bros.Circus.

    • horsedreamer_1

      He makes Matt Leinart's eyes look straight.

  • FlownOver

    Everyone knows the job creators demand high quality handheld pr0n, so this is a legit strategy.

    Not sure what to think about the ten employees who got two iPads each, though — don't they need a free hand?

  • tihond

    The Republicans needed something that could run grindr.

  • johnnyzhivago

    If they areusing them to play angry birds I approve….

    Sent from my ipad

    • SarahsBush

      You mean Angry Curds.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Angry Turds.

  • YouBetcha

    Much easier to fap in the bathroom with an iPad than with a laptop. Have a heart, liberals. Even Kochsucker tools and 60 or so of their closest allies need a device for their ghey pr0n.

    • PalinzADummy

      Nothing like slamming the ol' fire hose in the laptop while fapping, eh?

    • natoslug

      Thank you! I finally have a reason for an iPad that my wife will approve.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I don't have a problem with this (because it could very well be a legitimate government expense…though so are the teachers and police that have lost their jobs), even though every time a Democrat tries to spend money on ANYTHING it gets labelled "Wasteful" and quickly becomes a right-wing talking point. I'm not against governments (even those ran by Republicans) spending money, I'm against Republicans automatically freaking out when anyone else spends money.

    Having said that, fuck that asshole.

  • rocktonsam

    Cripes, its only 60,000.00 dollars.

    That's just one teacher or cop/

    • hollywooddood

      Everybody knows teachers, bus drivers, nurses and janitors bankrupted the economy.

      • flamingpdog

        Fart, everybody knows that unionized teachers make that much in a week.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Not even in the Nicolet School District, where the yobs just reinstalled Alberta Darling, is that true.

  • Badonkadonkette


    • Jukesgrrl

  • AlterNewt

    Scott Walker: The IPud

  • Radiodead

    I'm cross-eyed mad!!1!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, thank God Walker cut education spending.

    • PalinzADummy

      Yes, the electorate won't have the skillset required to hold the miserable motherfucker to account.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Or even read about his corrupt misdeeds. It is a win/win in Walkerland.

        • PalinzADummy

          I'm gonna need a few dozen more handkerchiefs to dry my crying eyes over the way the Republicans have coordinated this brilliant, multi-faceted assault on civilization, and everything that makes this country great.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, he would prefer to be called God Walker than Gov Walker. Personally, I prefer God that Wanker.

  • Callyson

    Tom Thieding, spokesman for the new agency, said the iPads were cheaper than buying everyone a laptop.
    "There was a need for a technology upgrade," Thieding said. "The old Department of Commerce – it was just lumbering along."
    I suppose that, in contrast, Wisconsin's teachers and schoolchildren have all the technological upgrades they need…

    • mayor_quimby

      Fuck that guy, they just wanted toys. An iPad is not a laptop replacement, trust me. iPads are like a virus once they get into a company, everyone gets jealous and it's off to the races, that's how I got mine :)
      Also, you can get laptops for 350 bucks, I think a sales weasel from CDW got in someone's ear and started promising Packer tickets and BJs

    • Jukesgrrl

      They have all the technology they need. They just don't have pencils and toilet paper.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Yes, it is a day in the week ending with "Y", so it must be Republican Hypocrisy Day.

  • Negropolis

    Teachers could seriously use those iPads, Mr. Walker. If you're going to buy them, you should buy them for everyone.

    • emmelemm

      That "share with the class, bring enough for everyone" stuff is just the kind of kindergarden socialist clap-trap that Walker and his Kochlords have vowed to eradicate!

      Please report to the camps immediately for this indiscretion.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Which campaign contributor got the $150,000 (I'm guessing) training contract? I'm thinking that the 'Wisconsin Economic Development Corp" will need a lot of training to understand these internet thingamawhatzits.

    • PalinzADummy

      See, that's the part that isn't being reported. Everybody knows the hardware (or the software) costs $X. But that's not where the seller makes their money. The money is in the support and training contracts we get the suckers to sign. Buy our $1M software package, and we'll give you gold-level customer support plus on-site training plus personalized setup, but that'll cost you $8M extra.

      • GeorgiaBurning

        Exactly right. The basic hardware or software may be sold pretty reasonably; but only tied with some ridiculous markup on support and training. That can get neatly buried in some other budget line item, along with the salesman's commission listed as a "consulting fee".

        • AJWjr.

          I'd start looking for Deloitte fingerprints, is what I'd do.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Don't forget the paper the secretaries will need to print out hard copies of everything the execs can't learn how to copy and save.

  • SarahsBush

    There's 63 votes bought and paid for.

    • PalinzADummy

      Yeah, Meg Witless tried that in CA, and it's just too expensive, even for an EBay billionaire, to buy enough of them to, you know, win, or something.

  • owhatever

    It's a great day in Wisconsin! The governor did not want to waste that money by giving those I Pads to teachers.

    • SudsMcKenzie


  • Extemporanus

    In Scott Walker's defense, the agency's Freedom Trays® and crayons were rather outdated.

    And sticky. Very, very sticky.

  • Not_So_Much

    Do they all boot up to

    • PsycWench

      Nah, that's just the source for the screensavers.

    • rocktonsam

      they boot up to the Packers, because that's all anybody gives a fuck about up here.


      • PalinzADummy


        • horsedreamer_1


  • edgydrifter

    Now they can make shitty Powerpoint slides twice as fast. Efficiency!

    • PalinzADummy

      Oh god is there anything more dreaded than the CEO's (or project mangler's, or whoever's) PowerPoint presentation at meetings?

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        DBP (Death By PowerPoint).

        • PalinzADummy

          Thanks, GunToting! I haven't heard *that* in a while!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Pie Chart Libel.

  • Come here a minute

    Of course they buy from Apple — they love monopolies!

  • PalinzADummy

    So this is the motherfucking prick who tells us that we can't let teachers and nurses have collective bargaining rights or wage increases because the state is broke and we need smaller government and HE JUST CREATED THIS NEW FUCKING GOVERNMENT AGENCY? And THEY don't have a hiring freeze?

    Anybody driving up to WI need someone to spell ya, hold yer baseball bat, or just hold the motherfucker while the rest of you kick him repeatedly in the nuts? Because I could volunteer for this, ya know.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Nothing's too good for the children of donors.

  • Goonemeritus

    Next week the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. will be further developing the economy by snorting a mountain of blow of a stack of hookers.

  • Negropolis

    OT: Oh, shit. Some whack-ass evangelical pastor that introduced Rick Perry to the Values Voters Summit just cold called Mitt Romney's Mormonism a cult, and is now going on cable news basically saying exactly the same thing. Dude looks like a Ted Haggard in the making.

    Get the popcorn. The schaden freuds itself when the wingnuts fight.

    • fuflans

      i heard that too. and thought the very same thing.

      the DC pundits / national media are all like 'mittens has it in the bag'.

      i don't they really understand the sheer horror of the teabagging monster they've created.

      • Negropolis

        I've been saying for many months that I think the Republican Party is going to do what it always does and hand Romney the nomination, but these guys are really testing my theory. Will the Chamber of Commerce and their ilk really allow the baggers to destroy their chances at taking the White House, next year? I'm still fully expecting them to somehow buy the baggers off before things get too out of hand. I don't know how they'll do it, but there is no way they are going to let Citizens United go to waste.

        • PalinzADummy

          I dunno, hon. The baggers are in as pissy a mood as is possible. Why, some of them are even joining #ows!

    • PalinzADummy

      I better go hold their coats. Fight! Fight!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Millions of magic underpants are in a twist.

  • mrblifil

    Problem is Walker keeps looking for the two little knobs, like his Etch-a-Sketch used to have back in the day.

    • PalinzADummy

      I b'leev his Etch-a-Sketch *still has* the twiddly little knobs. He can't bring himself to admit that when he tries Teh Googlez on it, he never gets the same results as others.

  • coolhandnuke

    May a maxipad, the width of a telephone pole, apply itself to Gov. Cheesedicks rancid Velveeta spurting quiche hole.

  • ttommyunger

    "Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler…" I disagree with this assessment. I would judge him much more Ferret-Faced. Knobgobbler, fer sure; but Ferret Faced.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Do those iPad thingies have GPS tracking?

  • fuflans

    one day closer to complete civic breakdown.

    rock on republicans.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    I try to avoid the ad hominem attack, just before diving right in. Walker reminds me of the salesman who sold my wife and I our first new car. Tapping on a headlight with a pen, he said, "Look! Plastic! No broken glass to worry about in an accident!".
    Right, why sell the sizzle OR the steak, when you can peddle the gristle and the grease?
    Every move Walker makes reminds me of that. Weasel-faced or Ferret-faced, that's a tough call.

    • flamingpdog

      With all due respect to my good friend ttommy, ferrets are weasels. My personal preference in ad hominem is armadildo-faced.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Whatever happened to Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Git? A classic.

    • AJWjr.

      So, what were the windows on this wondercar made of?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Well, it was a 1993 Ford Escort, so it was better than a Chevy Streetwalker or a Dodge Does-It-In-Doorways, but no means equal to the Cadillac Callgirl. The windows were normal Ford windows, meaning they fogged up every time the temperature changed more than five degrees.

  • Gorillionaire

    So what does this "Economic Development Corp" do exactly, fly around the country and drive up expense accounts? That's progress.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Steal jobs from other states in a mad race to the bottom, mostly by giving away the store. Massive give-aways, tax-free status, we'll pay YOU to move here, destroy unions, you know, the usual.

    • Negropolis

      Hell, my smallish city has a economic development corporation. It seems most cities do, now. They are quasi-municipal agencies of the city. The city appoints the executive and/or board, but they are run independently of city government, otherwise.

    • Jukesgrrl

      If you're in South Carolina you accompany the governor to France to take meetings that begin, "It's a bee-u-ti-ful day in Par-ee!"

  • crybabyboehner

    iPads for the rich, reacharounds for the rest.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Tiny American flags for all!

  • Ducksworthy

    Weasel-faced corporate knobgobbler- Thank you Kbj

  • Beanball

    $60,000? that's peanuts – wait till the bill arrives for going over their 2GB cap.

  • Tundra Grifter

    We went to see George Clooney's "Ides of March" last night (great movie!) and the Governor's campaign handed out pre-programed cell phones to all the workers and interrns.

    Same idea?

  • DahBoner

    "$60,000 In State Money On iPads"


  • anneshelby

    Him and his sons sell them on ebay.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I don't know. She's prolly too busy peeling off toilet paper from her house — it is the homecoming weekend at the local high school, so the pom-pom girls tp'd the football players's houses; one of the Gov's kids plays on the team (not well) — to say.

    By the by, I am surprised the tp'ing of the kid's house wasn't incorrectly ascribed to anarcho-syndicalist agitators by the professional victims of the Right.

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