WE'LL WAIT FOR THE MOVIE VERSION  9:47 am October 7, 2011

Harry Reid Blows Up Time And Space With Voting Procedure Change Thing

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Sensai Reid in his yoga pants doing his war moves.Here are some of the news story quotes we woke up to this morning, GAH: ancient tribal casino chieftain Harry Reid “pulled the nuclear option” trick in the Senate and as a result the entire chamber is now “in chaos,” (because it is enveloped in a giant ball of radioactive flames) and the Republicans are littered across the Senate floor in tiny, rapidly mutating shards because they “did not expect Reid to bring heavy artillery to what had been a humdrum knife fight.” SO MUCH VIOLENCE, COMRADE REID! Ha, no, all Harry Reid did was change a procedural voting rule to prevent Republicans from introducing endless non-germane amendments to a Chinese currency-related bill after the Senate voted to defeat a filibuster (zzzzz), but let the record show that news of Harry Reid “doing something, anything” other than whining about Republicans must now be written about as TOTAL WAR.

Try to sit through this explanation of the mayhem from POLITICO so we can get to the fun Mitch McConnell quote at the end:

By a 51-48 vote, the Senate voted along party lines to change the precedent and limit how amendments can be considered once a filibuster is defeated. Under normal procedure, the Senate has 30 hours of debate after 60 senators agree to end a filibuster. Amendments can be considered during those 30 hours if each side agrees by unanimous consent to schedule a vote — or if a senator moves to waive the rules, which would then require the support of 67 senators in order to succeed.

But under the new procedure, senators can no longer move to waive the rules once a filibuster is defeated — a battle that threatens to further inflame partisan tensions and stymie legislative action at a time when frustration with Congress is at an all-time high.

While the rules change may not seriously affect the substance of pending legislation, the process employed by Democrats could be replicated in the future to overhaul bedrock rules like the filibuster. For that reason, both parties have tried to avoid employing such tactics to change the rules over the last several congressional sessions, including in a fierce 2005 battle that nearly limited the use of the filibuster.

AND NOW MITCH MCCONNELL:

“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), pacing on the floor, with his voice rising, referring to the other body’s rules that can limit floor debate.

YEAH, HARRY REID, is this what you wanted? For the Senate to be some poor lady who wakes up one day to find she’s grown a thick beard overnight so she is forced to go off and join John Boehner’s evil circus of doom? [POLITICO/The Hill/TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 177 comments }

ifthethunderdontgetya October 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

AND NOW MITCH MCCONNELL:

Turtle Wax leaves a blinding brilliance …. Turtle Wax!

P.S. Harry's Grateful Dead shirt is a nice touch.
~

prommie October 7, 2011 at 10:41 am

Jitterbug . . . .

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

That's it: the end of Democracy in America. It was nice while it lasted, but let's just appoint Mitt as Dictator-for-Life with plenipotentiary powers to kill anyone with drone strikes. Sure, we'll all have to wear magic underpants and store dried foods in our basements, but it'll be a small price to pay to fend of the chaos we now face.

GhostBuggy October 7, 2011 at 10:15 am

I'm not a Mormon, so I don't know what these underpants do, but I'm ready. My current underpants sure as shit ain't anything I'd call magical.

MissusBarry October 7, 2011 at 10:28 am

They better come in thong styles. I hate pantylines.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:34 am

That is not exactly the point of Mormon magic underpants.

MissusBarry October 7, 2011 at 10:42 am

Reason #487 why I won't be converting.

GhostBuggy October 7, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Yee-ikes.

widestanceshakedown October 7, 2011 at 10:33 am

Studies show assless magic undies capture and retain 72% more airborne magic per gram of fiber.

Iam_Who_Iam October 7, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I think you meant:

I don’t have facts to back this up but studies show assless magic undies capture and retain 72% more airborne magic per gram of fiber.

Fixed. You're Welcome.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:22 am

Nah, it's not the of Democracy in America; that happened on January 21 2010, when the Supreme Court officially handed over control of government to the corporations with the Citizens United decision.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:24 am

Or in 2001, when SCOTUS appointed Chimpy.

Or when the Reconstruction amendments were passed without representation from the rebellious states.

Or in 1789, with the 3/5ths rule.

Chet Kincaid October 7, 2011 at 10:29 am

What?

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:32 am

Exactly!

Scottsdalian October 7, 2011 at 11:00 am

Oooohhh shit…..I don't HAVE a basement.

emmelemm October 7, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Plenipotentiary?

I learn new words, on my Wonkette!

ManchuCandidate October 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

Remember when to pass legislation in the US America Senate it used to take a simple majority?

When was that? Oh yeah, when Ancient Mutant Ninja Turtle McConnell was the "big" man of the Senate. Poked his head from his shell just long enough to tell the Demrats to stop crying in their hankies and sack up.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 7, 2011 at 10:09 am

For that reason, both parties have tried to avoid employing such tactics to change the rules over the last several congressional sessions, including in a fierce 2005 battle that nearly limited the use of the filibuster.

I.E. Back when the Republicans are in charge and threatened to eliminate the filibuster entirely if the Democrats tried one.

Always hypocrisy, all the time. And they get away with it because our corporate press always gives them a pass for it.
~

donner_froh October 7, 2011 at 11:51 am

I am so old that I can remember when the U.S. America Senate actually passed legislation instead of posturing about it.

Nostrildamus October 7, 2011 at 1:36 pm

… in the US America Senate it used to take a simpleton majority?

Fixed.

Gratuitous World October 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

can't wait for the pundits to sensationalize something that they don't really understand to people who don't really care.

4th Estate!

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:02 am

The unspeakable, in furious pursuit of the inedible. Or something! Writin' for Illiterates.

Come here a minute October 7, 2011 at 9:52 am

Harry Reid is the old woman who lived in the shoe. She whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.

4TheTurnstiles October 7, 2011 at 9:53 am

Why do these America-haters hate America?

Preferred Customer October 7, 2011 at 11:01 am

Damn Tautologists.

Tundra Grifter October 7, 2011 at 9:53 am

The US Constitution states that the Senate (and, of course, the House) shall make the rules governing it. That's pretty simple – even for a member of the GNoP.

I remember the Republicans called this the "nuclear" option until it became obvious President Bush couldn't pronounce it, so the focus groups told the reactionaries to change the name to the "constitutional" option.

Now that the Democrats believe it's a good idea the GNoP is back to calling it the nuclear option. I guess because Mr. Bush is no longer President, and Mr. Obama can handle big words.

What other explanation could there be?

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:10 am

Well that, and their hard-on for all things nuclear.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:10 am

Ah yes, I remember "Some people call it the nuclear option, I prefer to call it the Constitutional option", even though the Republicans were the ones who coined the term "nuclear option", but changed it because it polled badly.

Sort of like the change of "private accounts" to "personal accounts" in their plan to destroy Social Security, or the teabaggers once they learned the other meaning of teabagging.

jodyleek October 7, 2011 at 10:15 am

Because Turtle Man and the GNoP are whining toddlers who crap their Pampers every time they don't get their hypocritical way? Could that be it?

Chet Kincaid October 7, 2011 at 10:33 am

Nucuelar. Nucuelar!

Not_So_Much October 7, 2011 at 10:47 am

Personally, I'm a fan of the Jimmy Carter version, "Newkyah". Could be construed either as making a mealy-mouthed hash of his mother tongue or a thinly veiled threat.

BerkeleyBear October 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

And since he actually is a trained nuclear engineer, his threats should be a whole lot scarier.

OneDollarJuana October 7, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Ah, give Jimmy a break. Sometimes it's hard to enunciate with a mouthful of peanuts.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 7, 2011 at 9:54 am

said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), pacing on the floor, with his voice rising

Then he and fellow Senate closet-queen Lady Lindsey Graham consoled each other with some heartfelt tugs hugs.
~

axmxz October 7, 2011 at 9:55 am

I wish the Senate turned into House. House only takes 45 minutes to find the correct solution to any given problem, as long as it's not lupus. And it's never lupus.

FNMA October 7, 2011 at 9:58 am

Yeah, but he damn near kills the patient three times before stumbling on the correct diagnosis…Wait a minute…

Come here a minute October 7, 2011 at 10:01 am

The Senate has vasculitis.

axmxz October 7, 2011 at 10:04 am

Not to mention logorrhea.

natoslug October 7, 2011 at 10:34 am

Could be sarcoidosis.

jetjaguar October 7, 2011 at 1:28 pm

The answer is Prednisone. It is always Prednisone.

deanbooth October 7, 2011 at 9:55 am

Give 'em hell, Harry!

Preferred Customer October 7, 2011 at 10:19 am

The Buck Stops Here, If I Can Get The Votes For Cloture, Which I Probably Cannot.

Not_So_Much October 7, 2011 at 10:48 am

Right? It's like he took a nutsack out on loan from somewhere.

CapeClod October 7, 2011 at 9:55 am

We can't let that classy, entitled, high end brothel turn into a rank, proletariat whorehouse.

Preferred Customer October 7, 2011 at 10:18 am

Yes We Can!

EatsBabyDingos October 7, 2011 at 9:56 am

Harry Reid shot Bambi's mother, Sharron.

Allmighty_Manos October 7, 2011 at 9:58 am

How about a vote to abolish the Senate all together? Rocks and sheep in Wyoming have more of a voice in Congress than the entire population of LA county thanks to this unique institution. Now that would be exciting.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:06 am

But then, the interest of farmers wouldn't be overrepresented in Washington, and the interests of city dwellers wouldn't be underrepresented; why that could lead to horrors like agricultural regulation that benefits the consumer instead of the producer, leading to the end of corn subsidies and our food no longer being stuffed full of super-fattening high fructose corn syrup.

paris biltong October 7, 2011 at 10:11 am

Why do you hate peasants?

OneDollarJuana October 7, 2011 at 10:13 am

I don't! They're delicious roasted with rosemary and onions.

Oh, you meant peasants.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:16 am

I do love how any mention of cutting farm subsidies is met with an accusation of hating family farmers, when 99.9% of the food we eat comes from such small family farmers as Archer Daniels Midland, Monsanto and ConAgra.

Chet Kincaid October 7, 2011 at 10:35 am

Corporations are families too, my friend!!

BerkeleyBear October 7, 2011 at 10:55 am

Here's the solution – we dissolve the states we created throughout the Plains, lump them all together and rename the result the state of Agribusiness. They still get 2 votes, and a few house seats, but that's it.

axmxz October 7, 2011 at 10:50 am

Because the peasants are revolting.

V572-*½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:08 am

Just did the math: CA's 39,961,664 citizens are represented by 2 senators and 53 congresscritters for 55 total congressional folks; WY's 544,270 citizens by 2 sens plus 1 rep = 3 total. So each citizen in WY is represented almost exactly 4 times as much as a vote in CA. If you just count registered voters from 2008, you get the same answer.

paris biltong October 7, 2011 at 10:18 am

Why do you want to disenfranchise Basque sheep herders?

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:26 am

I was thinking more of Cheney, Wallop, and that old asshole Alan Simpson.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:37 am

And the Senate's "rules" make this even more unrepresentative.

BerkeleyBear October 7, 2011 at 10:57 am

I'm only half joking when I suggest dissolution of Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, the Dakotas and every other POS lightly settled state and rolling them back into some MegaWest state. It'll never actually happen, but it would be fun to point out to all the mouthbreathers in the heartland that their "sovereignty" is a fiction.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 11:12 am

There are some over-represented small blue states too – HI and RI spring to mind. Yes yes, the Founding Daddies meant the Senate to be a check on the directly-elected rabble in the House. But did they mean it to create a tyranny of the minority? And who gives a fuck what they meant? They didn’t want women to vote, either, and chattel slavery was something they could live with. To get rid of those inequities, the Constitution had to be amended. Let’s do it again!

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:11 am

Vote to eliminate their own jobs? What do you think they are, a union?

NovaPolice October 7, 2011 at 10:49 am

That would require a constitutional amendment that would be dependant on the same disportionate representation of North and South DAMOUTAWYORADO.

Guppy06 October 7, 2011 at 10:57 am

Repeal the 17th, take away their political capital, don't let them say they're working "for the American people," and they'll settle right down into a knitting circle like the upper houses in other, civilized countries.

Radiodead October 7, 2011 at 11:57 am

Can we be cured of the bicameral?

paris biltong October 7, 2011 at 9:58 am

"What kind of House is this," Mitch asked "where I have come to roam?"
"If you don't like this Senate" said Reid "you might as well go home."

prommie October 7, 2011 at 9:59 am

Republican world view is as follows: "We are completely and indisputably right, what we beleive and what we want is Right and True and Correct and Patriotic and Godly. Anyone and Everyone who opposes anything we want or believe is Satanic, Evil, and Traitorous. Therefore we are justified in using any tactic, including lying, cheating, and stealing (and torturing and killing) to Win, and any time we are thwarted is a Monstrous, Outrageous Tragic Injustice, a Crime Against Country, Family, God and the Universe, and its unfair, too."

Buckminster October 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm

And any of you godless liberals who take to the streets to chant, play guitars or carry signs are "criminals." Never forget that part.

user-of-owls October 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Democrat world view to date: "We're sorry! Promise it won't happen again, ok? Please don't be mad."

slithytoves October 7, 2011 at 9:59 am

Maybe if we can get this war right, we can think about ending some of the others. Happy 10th anniversary War in Afghanistan. Here are some aluminum cased bombs.

HistoriCat October 7, 2011 at 9:59 am

For the Senate to be some poor lady who wakes up one day to find she’s grown a thick beard overnight so she is forced to go off and join John Boehner’s evil circus of doom?

Is this some new show on HBO or Showtime? As long as someone has a plan to send the evil circus of doom back to Hell or whatever weird dimension it came from, it might be watchable.

GunToting[Redacted] October 7, 2011 at 10:13 am

Ben Hawkins libel!!11!11!

prommie October 7, 2011 at 10:01 am

If the republicans had not elected so many slack-jawed mouth-breathing insane goat-fuckers and unreconstructed confederates to the Senate, it would not have turned into the House.

LouBristol October 7, 2011 at 11:27 am

Rick Santorum has NEVER fucked a slack-jawed mouth-breathing insane goat in his entire life.

chicken_thief October 7, 2011 at 11:42 am

But not for lack of trying. So many goats, so little time…

OneDollarJuana October 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Wanna bet?

Ducksworthy October 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

"Slack-jawed mouth-breathing insane goat-fuckers and unreconstructed confederates" would make a nice bumper sticker.

baconzgood October 7, 2011 at 10:02 am

In Russia Senate procedurals change you.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:03 am

“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,”

You mean where a law gets passed by majority vote, instead of allowing 40% of the chamber to block any legislation they want? Uh, that would be a good thing, the filibuster is absolutely awful, stupid and ridiculous, as are all of these moronic procedural rules that allow even single Senators to hold up legislation for nearly endless stretches of time.

Buckminster October 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Yeah, really. I think allowing rule by the one who can hold his bladder the longest is a crappy way to run the Gov't.

GunToting[Redacted] October 7, 2011 at 10:03 am

It's a sad fucking state of affairs when a 51-48 vote is the end of the world. What's the definition of "majority" again?

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:13 am

You'd almost think we have some sort of democracy.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:34 am

Smug libertarian douchebag: No, this is a republic, not a democracy; and by being a pedant about this unimportant technical distinction I've proven that I'm so smart and know so much better than everyone else, and not that I'm a moron who repeats the same dumb talking points over and over who thinks that I'm an intellectual!

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:46 am

I'm a libertarian? Really? That's the funniest thing I've heard in ages.Also, learn to take a joke.

SorosBot October 7, 2011 at 10:50 am

That is a joke; I'm mocking the very common response from libertarians whenever someone mentions democracy.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:28 am

A "majority" is when elected representatives do what Republicans and/or the Riches want. When they want to do something different , it is called "tyranny," "facism," or "socialism."

And by the way, facism and socialism are now officially identical. That's why Sweden is embroiled in endless wars….no, wait, that's us.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:36 am

There just may be a double standard. For example, you can call a Bill "Bipartisan" if it is supported by all of the republicans and one democrat, but if it is supported by all of the democrats and say a handful of republicans, its "extremist" and "fringe" and "socialist." So, by analogy, I think its a legitimate "majority" for a republican BIll if it has one more Yay than Nay, whereas for a democratic Bill, its not a legitimate "majority" unless the vote is unanimous.

GunToting[Redacted] October 7, 2011 at 11:39 am

This is why we can't have nice things.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:58 am

In the final analysis, its the fault of the calvinists and the south. All the evil stems from the calvinists and the Southrons.

not that Dewey October 7, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Are "calvinists" the ones who pee on Ford logos or the ones who pee on Chevy logos? I can never keep that straight.

elviouslyqueer October 7, 2011 at 12:34 pm

What's the definition of "majority" again?

Um, all of them, Katie?

What? It's been two hours!

El Pinche October 7, 2011 at 10:08 am

He brought nuns with guns to a knife fight.

Lascauxcaveman October 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Fire at will, sisters.

baconzgood October 7, 2011 at 10:08 am

You wanna know how to get a Chinese currency bill passed? They pull a filibuster, you change the procedure. Mitch McConnell attaches an amendment, you turn the Senate into the House one. That's the Chicago way! And that's how you get Chinese currency bills passed .

paris biltong October 7, 2011 at 10:13 am

But it's easier if they are in small denomination.

OneDollarJuana October 7, 2011 at 10:15 am

Wait, you mean Harry Reid wants me to change my dollars into yuan?

Texan_Bulldog October 7, 2011 at 10:10 am

I would just like to see Harry coldcock Mitch with some of his boxing moves. Oh, sorry, what was the article about?

MrFizzy October 7, 2011 at 10:25 am

He would just break his hand on Mitch's shell.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 7, 2011 at 10:35 am

Heh, 'cock.'

widestanceshakedown October 7, 2011 at 10:39 am

I have no idea, since I instantly blacked out at reading 'cock' and 'Mitch' with naught but a word space between them.

HateMachine October 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I would just like you to stop using the word 'cock' in the same sentence as all these crappy old white men.

OneDollarJuana October 7, 2011 at 10:11 am

“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.)

With this statement/complaint, Senator McConnell openly admits that his compatriots Eric Cantor (True Speaker of the House) and John Boehner (Toady of the House) are huge failures, having driven public approval of Congressmen towards single digits, and also tacitly admits that his obstreperous blanket opposition to reason is the final straw forcing Sensei Reid to invoke this rule change.

fuflans October 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

this is EXACTLY how i read that statement.

JoshuaNorton October 7, 2011 at 10:12 am

Angry wingnuts are angry.

Let the games begin.

Mumbletypeg October 7, 2011 at 10:14 am

Shorter McConnell to Reid: "Aw go take a hike jog in the rain!"

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:14 am

"ancient tribal casino chieftain Harry Reid"

Doesn't the book of Mormon say that all Latter-Day Saints are really ancient tribal casino chieftains?

Sharkey October 7, 2011 at 10:17 am

Who else here yens for the end of capitalism?

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:31 am

I'm all right with capitalism, as long as it's in good taste. And not conflated with oligarchy.

Lascauxcaveman October 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

It's actually working out pretty well for the Chinese. (Well, if you don't mind cataclysmic earth-raping and utter disregard for the lives of proles.)

Geminisunmars October 7, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Gee, I wonder who they are modeling themselves on?

zhubajie October 7, 2011 at 6:45 pm

You'd be shocked how many bad ideas in China are excused as "that's what they do in America!"

Preferred Customer October 7, 2011 at 10:17 am

I heartily endorse this event or product, though I am not in love with the fact that when the Republicans regain control of the Senate (as they undoubtedly will, someday) they will almost certainly use this as a precedent to simply murder Democratic senators before they can enter the Senate chamber, or similar.

Goonemeritus October 7, 2011 at 10:18 am

Harry Reid the Athenian Ideal of manliness or the manliest man when judged to the Athenian ideal?

chicken_thief October 7, 2011 at 11:49 am

Harry Reid only becomes "manly" when the other options are Lindsay Graham and Louie Gohmert.

mayor_quimby October 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Either way, somebody's getting it Greek style.

MrFizzy October 7, 2011 at 10:24 am

Roomful of mirrors – they all love process, but not results.

Doktor Zoom October 7, 2011 at 10:25 am

"Begun this Post-Filibuster Amendment and Debate Limitations Voting Procedure War has." –Yoda

GregComlish October 7, 2011 at 10:25 am

Hilarious. Mitch "The Bitch" McConnell gets smacked-down by Harry "Vagina" Reid.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 7, 2011 at 10:27 am

If the Senate limits the use of the filibuster (HORRORS) the terrirists have won! This is all they need to approve Shraia Law!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 7, 2011 at 10:29 am

Oh great, now both sides are really, really , really , really, really, really, really, really, REALLY pissed off at each other.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡ October 7, 2011 at 10:38 am

No more Senator Nice Guy!

chicken_thief October 7, 2011 at 11:51 am

Dammit!!! Right when they were on the verge of burying the hatchet and actually going to work on some policies good for the country.

HateMachine October 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Joke all you want, that is going to be the fucking theme on CNN. "Why can't we all just get alooooooooong?"

We're going to hear all about Democrats being 'deliberately divisive' whereas when Republicans are the only ones being obstructionist knobgoblins "both parties are at fault."

tcaalaw October 7, 2011 at 10:30 am

Does anybody else find it appropriate that Harry Reid managed to find the most boring in-baseball-ish way to lead to shocked and outraged headlines?

Geminisunmars October 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Shocked and ahhh–fuckit

not that Dewey October 7, 2011 at 10:39 am

"at a time when frustration with Congress is at an all-time high" = the Senate should stop passing bills and sit around doing nothing at all while drawing paychecks, because that will decrease frustration. Politico is winning the morning!

SayItWithWookies October 7, 2011 at 10:40 am

This precipitous action of Harry Reid's violates a long-held and deeply-felt principal of the Senate — the principal that Mitch McConnell can stop anything anytime he damn well pleases.

elviouslyqueer October 7, 2011 at 10:44 am

“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), pacing on the floor, with his voice rising, referring to the other body’s rules that can limit floor debate.

Oh good grief. With all this bosom heaving, pearl-clutching, and collapsing on the nearest fainting couch, you'd think Mitch was auditioning for the role of Scarlett O'Hara in the Lifetime reboot of Gone With the Wind.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:06 am

He's got some fierce competition for the role in Miss Lindsey Graham.

Respitetini October 7, 2011 at 11:07 am

No, that's just in his off-time at that cabaret off of 14th st.

JoshuaNorton October 7, 2011 at 10:46 am

Something called "nuclear option" should at least have a body count.

All we get is a bunch of inside-the-beltway drama queens yapping at each other like a bunch of over-wrought Heathers. This isn't democracy, it's a Bravo TV series.

vodkamuppet October 7, 2011 at 10:47 am

I'm not sure I understand what I just read. Correct me if I'm wrong but the senate sets the rules every 2 years, including the filibuster rule, yes? The democrats could have gotten rid of the filibuster in '06, '08, and 2010. Why would the democrats use some procedural crap rule to nefariously banish the filibuster from the senate when they could have used regular procedural bullshit to banish the filibuster from the senate? Why would any thinking person still left in this country ever think that the Democrats have the cunning and balls to even pull such a brilliant, underhanded move off? I feel like screaming "Hi I'm a fellow American and I've been paying attention for the last 30 years, what the fucking hell have you been doing?"

GregComlish October 7, 2011 at 11:58 am

If the Democrats got rid of the filibuster, then it would be much harder for them to sabotage their constituents interests.

Naked_Bunny October 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

If Mitch McConnell wants the Senate to be less like the Republican-controlled House, he's free to throw the next election to his Democratic challenger.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:40 am

Bingo

poncho_pilot October 7, 2011 at 10:53 am

needs more burning of Atlanta.

seppdecker October 7, 2011 at 11:00 am

"John Boehner’s evil circus of doom"

Boehner is OJ (Original Juggalo), that's why his face is all painted up.

BarackMyWorld October 7, 2011 at 11:01 am

Mitch is just mad he didn't think of it first.

chicken_thief October 7, 2011 at 11:54 am

He's had a life time of thinking of things days or even weeks after someone else thought of them – you'd think he'd be used to it by now.

DustBowlBlues October 7, 2011 at 12:59 pm

He didn't need to bother with it, since the Ds always cave.

DaRooster October 7, 2011 at 11:04 am

Well, the Rethugs have been Dicks for quite a while… finally hearing something from the other side, with some balls, is a pleasant change.

DaRooster October 7, 2011 at 11:05 am

Can I kick that piece of shit McConnell in the sack yet?

hagajim October 7, 2011 at 11:12 am

You know, I tried to think of something clever and snarky to say…but it's Friday, it's raining and I'm too fucking tired to think.

FakaktaSouth October 7, 2011 at 11:15 am

That's right baby, Dem Justice! We will PROCEDURE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 11:41 am

That sounds fun!

James Michael Curley October 7, 2011 at 11:17 am

Why can't the nuclear option be Beijing and a couple other Chinese cities. No Chinese, no Chinese currency problem. Deliver my Nobel Prize in Economics here.

zhubajie October 7, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yes, that'd bring all the factories back from Mexico!

Soylent Green October 7, 2011 at 11:34 am

“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), pacing on the floor, with his voice rising…

Great. Now I envision Mitch as the floating fat Baron from Dune.

poncho_pilot October 7, 2011 at 11:52 am

The Spice must flow!

ttommyunger October 7, 2011 at 11:48 am

McConnell and Reid; number One and Two in our Senate…..We are sooooo fucked!

Toomush_Infer October 7, 2011 at 11:53 am

In his dojo, he goes by the name of Hairy Reed…

neiltheblaze October 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Wow – what a ju-jitsu move. Downright brilliant. And three and a half years too late.

chascates October 7, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I propose all future filibusters must be in the form of iambic pentameters.

fuflans October 7, 2011 at 12:16 pm

well if we follow the knife quote to it's logical conclusion, harry's going to end up crawling – bloodied – down the hall and die in nancy pelosi's arms and then she will throw mitch mcconnell off the roof.

smitallica October 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm

"We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House, where other assholes in my party are, with my wholehearted support and encouragement, running this country off a cliff to try to teach the uppity black guy a lesson. And I won't stand for it!!"

Fuck you, Mitch. Fuck you out loud.

Chet Kincaid October 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm

OT: Some "Nolan" dude at Gawker is invoking Peggington Noonington and linking to her greatest hits on Wonkette, without bothering to drag his ass across the hall and ask The Original Noonington himself to handle the post. Is it some kind of IP issue where only Wonkette can Noonington, like how there will never be another Roger Rabbit short unless Spielberg and Disney agree on it?
http://gawker.com/5847654/peggy-noonan-observes-a

Papa_Uniform October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Ooo Hairwee, yoo soo stwong. Yoo get new shipment viagra? Yoo wanna boom boom?

DustBowlBlues October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Maybe it's my clogged sinus passages and resulting headache (or the fact granma scored some pott yesterday) but that shit in politico about the rules makes no fucking sense.

Fuck the filibuster, 'cuz you know what? Republitards care about nothing but making massive amounts of money for the douchebag corporations (thereby assuring sweet deals and future lobbying jobs for themselves).

Even though the Ds also like to get in on some of the money, something in our party's DNA always winds up with them saying, "Yeah, okay. Someone's got to be the responsible one" and govern for the good of the nation while the constitution loving R'tards couldn't care less if they look down from a corporate jet and see the country crumbling on top of the 99%.

Because corporatism is exactly what George Washington and the bedraggled Army of the Continental Congress fought for when they were camped out in the winter, with rags on their bloody feet instead of shoes and dying from disease. And there goes Harry Reid, trying to spoil it. Bad, Harry. Bad.

MozakiBlocks October 7, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Never bring a Morman to a knife fight.

imissopus October 7, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Who knew Harry Reid had a breaking point?

iburl October 7, 2011 at 1:22 pm

All this does is strengthen Rick Perry's resolve to do away with the 17th amendment (direct election of Senators).

owhatever October 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Reid v. McConnell: Yellow Jello v. Green Jello. Needs more Palin.

BklynIlluminati October 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Reid is CongressJedi

emmelemm October 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I would just like to say that the drawing of Harry Reid is 1000% awesome and brightened my Friday considerably.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Harry wouldn't have even had to do this if he had had the balls in 2009 and then earlier this year to change the rules to make them more fair. There is no reason why you functionally should have to have a 60-seat majority to actually pass shit. That is actually too much minority party protection, and to be honest, I'd be saying this if even the Dems were in the minority.

KenLayIsAlive October 7, 2011 at 9:10 pm

A guy walks into a vaudville house and tells the manager he has an act he'd like to perform. The manager says "okay, tell me about it". The man explains:

"There are these two political parties, one is a centrist party, and the other is a rabid proto-fascist party. Now the centrist party had 59 seats in the senate, and a huge majority in the house. But they can't pass any of their agenda because there are these arcane rules which allow the minority party to say "NO" and defeat every bill the majority proposes. Of course these "victories" by the minority look like impressive wins considering the odds, and the minority gets more and more votes. So after a couple of years, the hemmed in majority party wheezes its' last gasps, and the possibility looms that the opposition party will soon have a slim majority. It's bad, but it's really not a big deal because those same arcane rules can be used to prevent the rabid opposition party from pushing through their radical right wing agenda. It is just then that the centrist party suddenly decides to use their last remaining legislative power to eliminate the very rules which might make it possible for the party to save itself, and possibly the country."

The manager stares in disbelief at the sheer idiocy of the situation and says "So what do you call this joke?"

And the man responds: "The Democrats!"

BerkeleyBear October 7, 2011 at 10:50 am

I first read that as circumcised, which I actually think is about the last knife fight any of the posers in the GOP "leadership" got into.

Arken October 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

Okay, apparently I need to learn to take a joke.Sigh.

GunToting[Redacted] October 7, 2011 at 11:13 am

Gentlemen, please! There's no joking in the Snark Room.

Lascauxcaveman October 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Conversely, however, snarking is allowed in the Joke Room.

Geminisunmars October 7, 2011 at 12:27 pm

In the midst of the word he was trying to say
In the midst of his laughter and glee
He had softly and suddenly vanished away
For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.

Arken October 7, 2011 at 12:40 pm

You just blew my mind, man.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Thats Shakespeare, The Taming of the Snark, if I recall correctly. English Lit major, donchaknow.

Mumbletypeg October 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

You might be thinking of "the Hunting of the Snark" by Lewis Carroll. Which I have not read, yet feel I ought, if it has snark appeal.

ETA: On second read, you were perhaps making some wordplay of two literary works?

Geminisunmars October 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Not to be confused with The Hunting of the Shrew, which is thematically similar.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Please forgive for confusiuon, I was making joke, as you say. Commenting on quality of land-grant University literature degree, that I would confuse two such famed works. ha ha, hahaha. I make me laugh, anyway.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Is that anything like "snipe hunting," which is similar to watching submarine races?

Geminisunmars October 7, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Your education is clearly evidentiary.

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