SOCIALISTS  6:27 pm October 6, 2011

Polish Candidate Tries Stripping To Get Votes

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Uhhh, move over Anthony Wiener? Leftist Polish parliamentary candidate Katarzyna Lenart has made a campaign ad using …some kind of calculation, hard to say what, that taking off her clothes for the Internet will somehow get her in to office. It’s not even the first time Polish lady pols have stripped to get votes, either. You are weird, Polish Parliament.

[Political Wire]

 
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{ 114 comments }

evankessler October 6, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I don't know what those words at the end meant, but hopefully it was a witty polish pun that relates the business of stripping with politics.

SexySmurf October 6, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Finally, a politician addressing the issues I care about.

Guppy06 October 6, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Both of them!

horsedreamer_1 October 7, 2011 at 12:11 am

Her first legislation will be the Sex in the Champagne Room Act of 2012.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 12:54 am

"Finally, a politician addressing undressing the issues I care about."

/fixed

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Read ALL the replies before posting. Read ALL the … wut?

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

She's not a-dressing them, Smurf, she's UNdressing them.

Gratuitous World October 6, 2011 at 6:32 pm

i'd ride in a submarine with a screen door to see the second half of that video.

Rarian Rakista October 8, 2011 at 3:55 am

Polish construction at its finest.

weejee October 6, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Has She1ey seen this? Might give her campaign some bounce.

jodyleek October 6, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Skin to win, baby! Skin to win!

gullywompr October 6, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Meh, her whole platform is just one big wedge issue.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 12:55 am

I hear she now has a giant opening a la Rick Perry.

Crank_Tango October 7, 2011 at 9:28 am

…with the hairy triangulation of Bill Clinton…

SexySmurf October 6, 2011 at 6:38 pm

We need a Socialist Party in this country.

poncho_pilot October 6, 2011 at 6:40 pm

this must be Polish Exceptionalism. this is a type of government transparency i can appreciate.

Beowoof October 6, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I am good with her doing this and I am against censorship. However, Michele can leave her clothes on.

CommieLibunatic October 6, 2011 at 6:41 pm
V572-½‡‡‡‡‡ October 6, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Glosuj na suld! She's got my vote! Disenfranchised by stupid rules about citizenship, goddamnit.

Don't get any ideas, though, Ms Palin — you're out. Same for you, O'Donnell.

SorosBot October 6, 2011 at 11:05 pm

O'Donnell would be OK, as long as she keeps is above the belt; or learns to shave.

Barb October 6, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Newts tits are bigger, I'm just sayin'…..

PalinzADummy October 6, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Chris Christie.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 7, 2011 at 8:29 am

Triple icky

starfanglednut October 6, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Ewwww….

bagofmice October 7, 2011 at 4:18 am

One ewwww per?

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Deal.

starfanglednut October 6, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Ewwww…

edgydrifter October 6, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Vote for guys you'd like to have a beer with and ladies you'd like to bang. That's a message that works in any language. I guess America isn't really that exceptional after all.

Not_So_Much October 6, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Better her than Scott Brown's hairy trail of tears…

PalinzADummy October 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I thought that was referred to as a perineum. No?

Extemporanus October 6, 2011 at 7:02 pm

How many Pollocks does it take to make a campaign ad?

CapnFatback October 6, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Er . . besides Jackson?

Now, if you're wondering how many Polacks it takes to make a campaign ad, I'd say–judging from this ad–er, I dunno . . . the number two comes to mind.

Score one for us Polacks!

Extemporanus October 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm

FUK YOU OTTOKORRECT!!1!

(Actually, I totally meant to do that. It was a multi-layered, meta-"Polack joke"…DUHHH!)

CapnFatback October 6, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Skor Score won one for we us Polacks!

Extemporanus October 6, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Your bronzed light bulb is in the mail, Fatbackski.

CapnFatback October 6, 2011 at 7:06 pm

KRYSTAL BALL, TAKE NOTES!!!

BarackMyWorld October 6, 2011 at 7:07 pm

So she's trying to get Poles to the polls by dancing the pole?

bagofmice October 7, 2011 at 4:21 am

DC journalists will be asking if she is up or down all night long.

Callyson October 6, 2011 at 7:08 pm

But she didn't tell us what positions she prefers, I mean supports…

Callyson October 6, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Then again…
The ad's tagline: "Want more? Vote for SLD. Only we can do more."
That's it, send the other parties home…

OneYieldRegular October 6, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Regardless of whether she wins or not, Roger Ailes will hire her.

tihond October 6, 2011 at 7:16 pm

I'm just glad it's not this guy.

HarryButtle October 6, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Tits or…wait, nevermind.

MiniMencken October 6, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I'd certainly go for a hot, steaming serving of her pierogies, Pans and Panis!

Blueb4sunrise October 6, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Ahhhhhhhhh,
dzien dobry.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm

David Vitter considered a similar commercial, but he just couldn't get himself to remove his diaper.

mavenmaven October 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT convince Michele Bachmann to save her campaign this way.

AJWjr. October 6, 2011 at 9:39 pm

I'm pretty sure her breasteses are as googly as her eyes when trying to focus on a camera.

Porter Melmoth October 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Too late! I hear tell Marcus & Co. are currently dickering with Vicky's Secret, re: split-crotch panties, et al.

Blueb4sunrise October 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Too skinny.

Lascauxcaveman October 6, 2011 at 7:30 pm

…some kind of calculation, hard to say what, that taking off her clothes for the Internet will somehow get her in to office.

Well, it would get her into *my* office.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 1:00 am

You and Bill Clintons' both.

not that Dewey October 6, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Mój poduszkowiec jest pełen węgorzy!

Blueb4sunrise October 6, 2011 at 7:38 pm

OMG. Great.

Thurman Munster IV October 10, 2011 at 4:16 pm

God, I love Google translate. My nipples explode with desire!

Guppy06 October 6, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Oh sure, she talks a good game now, but once she gets elected she'll go all evangelical.

PalinzADummy October 6, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Catholic girl.

Tundra Grifter October 7, 2011 at 9:56 am

Here in the old US of A it works the other way 'round.

fuflans October 6, 2011 at 7:42 pm

makes more sense than any political ad i saw in 2010.

Mahousu October 6, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Your move, Elizabeth Warren.

(Note: this comment intended as a Scott Brown troll trap.)

Guppy06 October 6, 2011 at 7:45 pm

This is a paid political advertisement of the Eat a Damned Sandwich Party

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 6, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Now I know why George W. Bush kept telling us not to forget the Poles.

Radiodead October 6, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Just about the only thing he said that made sense, I rarely ever forget about my Pole.

Tundra Grifter October 7, 2011 at 9:58 am

I remember Jimmy Carter giving that speech when he said "I love you people" and the Commie translator said "I lust after your women."

Wasn't that in Poland? If not, then it should have been. Or the Ukraine, where all those fabulous naked ladies on the Internets want to marry poor Americans.

zhubajie October 6, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Not everyone looks good naked; me, for example. Nudity for 25s and younger, fine. The burka for the rest of us!

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 1:10 pm

EVERYBODY looks good naked, if you love 'em.

zhubajie October 6, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Didn't Ciciolina pioneer this sort of thing? http://www.imow.org/wpp/stories/viewStory?storyid

Radiodead October 6, 2011 at 8:11 pm

If only Palin had thought of this sooner.

Radiodead October 6, 2011 at 8:15 pm

I'd vote for this.

GeorgiaBurning October 6, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Everywhere the same; politicians tease you with promises before the election. Poland just teases better.

Come here a minute October 6, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Yes, of course I would vote for the candidate who shows her b00bs, but this candidate did not. FAIL.

Badonkadonkette October 6, 2011 at 8:49 pm

How did the stripper get her campaign commercial past the Polish censors?

She filmed it backwards and told them she was getting dressed.

Wocka wocka wocka!

PalinzADummy October 6, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Is that like a Reverse Polish notation-type joke?

bagofmice October 7, 2011 at 4:24 am

She can put both of her datums before my operand.

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2011 at 12:12 am

Spit take!

Mrs. Bitch October 6, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Thank Jesus Chris Christie isn't running for prez. His moobs would be a powerful force to be reckoned with if he chose to use them in his campaign.

PalinzADummy October 6, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Oh geezus he could hurt a guy with those thangs.

AJWjr. October 6, 2011 at 9:43 pm

I'd hit that.

DerrickWildcat October 6, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Polish people have their own country?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 7, 2011 at 8:24 am

Every now and then, we let them, for a while.

SorosBot October 6, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Well, I would stand up at attention to do the long, hard work of going to the poleing place and go between the curtains to go and flick the switch and finger her lever back and forth for her to go down and help get her inserted into office.

datateday October 7, 2011 at 12:00 am

Hillary should have taken this approach then … not even Barack Obama could have stopped her!

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2011 at 12:09 am

Sorry, the sexist in me, but she can tylko my mozemy any time. This is one more argument for a parliamentary system in the good ol' USA — that and the fact that the only two real political parties seem to be falling apart at the seams (as usual?).
As always, rent is too damn high…

imissopus October 7, 2011 at 12:43 am

Titskis or GTF–oh, I see. Carry on.

Negropolis October 7, 2011 at 12:52 am

This ain't your grandmother's Poland, that's for damned sure. I was fully expecting to see some babushka slowly remove off one of her many petticoats.

Needz more delicious packzi. Also, this Pole needs to be on a pole. Also.

Guppy06 October 7, 2011 at 1:42 am

Genetics being what they are, in 20 years she will be one of those babushkas.

SarahsBush October 7, 2011 at 1:01 am

This is what democracy looks like.

DaRooster October 7, 2011 at 1:05 am

Fuck Diebold… I'm VOTIN'!!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 7, 2011 at 8:30 am

Qualified!

johnnyzhivago October 7, 2011 at 8:39 am

But what's her stand on European bank bailouts?

Arken October 7, 2011 at 9:13 am

Lame. Italy elected a porn star.

baconzgood October 7, 2011 at 9:15 am

I take back every polish joke I ever said. Polish Leftist chick parliamentary candidates are freaking brilliant!!! I'm writing her in for the president and she's not even eligible.

prommie October 7, 2011 at 9:48 am

Cop pulls over a woman, asks for license and registration, and he looks down at the license and sees her name is Czarnetski. He asks her, "excuse me, is that a Polish name?' She says yes, so he says "OK, you know the routine" and starts unzipping his pants, and she says "oh, no, not the breathalyzer again."

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Guy walks into a bar, says "I gotta great Polish joke, anyone wanna hear it?"

Bartender gives him the stinkeye, signals to the bouncer. Bouncer comes up, big guy, muscles on top of the muscles in places where most people duzn't haz muscles, flexes them at the guy, says, "Look, buddy. I'm Polish. The bartender's Polish. The waitresses are Polish. And those big, mean looking guys over there? All Polish. So, what's this about a Polish joke?"

Guy says, "OK, fine. I'm gonna tell you REAL SLOW. Now just listen up, 'cause I'm not gonna repeat this."

Cheneysleftnut October 7, 2011 at 11:37 am

Talk about your 'schwing' state…

ttommyunger October 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Poles ARE rising! Me too.

PalinzADummy October 7, 2011 at 12:47 pm

What. A. Slut.

ttommyunger October 7, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Guilt, yo Honah!

Porter Melmoth October 7, 2011 at 2:41 pm

It's what'll save MeeShill Bachmann's campaign. Marcus and her exploratory committee are consulting with Victoria's Secret, even as I'm wanking. Szukclevic dzundaza!

TonyR62 October 7, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I would postaw her mlodych!

mrblifil October 8, 2011 at 9:47 pm

That's nothing, at her "town hall-style" meetings she pulls a train and gargles jizz received from a funnel. She really knows how to motivate her base.

OldRedneck October 10, 2011 at 8:47 am

Maybe if Sarah Palin had tried this . . .

Radiodead October 6, 2011 at 8:10 pm

How many people of Polish descent does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, ask Copernicus.

not that Dewey October 6, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I.: I don't know, Glen.
Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!

Glen: Shit, man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?
H.I.: No, Glen, I sure don't.

Extemporanus October 8, 2011 at 5:24 am

Fucking brilliant.

(And I'm rather ashamed to admit that it took me so many revolutions to really, truly get it.)

Extemporanus October 6, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Maybe he told one Polack joke too many…

In his happy days–the "salad days", as they say–three of my Scot-Irish grandfather's most cherished pastimes were telling jokes, playing golf, and hiding out in the bathroom to avoid my grandmother.

When I was about five or six, he told me my first "dirty" joke, which was golf-related, while I was literally on the toilet:

"How did the Polack golfer break his arm?

He fell off the ball washer!"

It would be nearly ten years before I truly understood and appreciated the depth of his comedic genius.

Roughly twenty-five years later, I called to let him know that I'd just gotten engaged:

"So, what do ya think, Fuzzer? Are you surprised?"

"This is that leggy Polish girl you've been dating?"

"Um, yeah."

"Then no, I'm not surprised. Only a Polack would be dumb enough to marry you, Stretch."

And then he loved that Polack granddaughter-in-law like she was his very own flesh and blood until the day that he died.

No joke.

Radiodead October 6, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Copernicus, indeed.

not that Dewey October 7, 2011 at 12:15 am

You married a Polack! Ha!

My grandfather emigrated from Warsaw at the age of 2. I grew up believing that I was a Polack. Until one day, when I was in my late 20s, my mother came to visit us in NY, and we went to Ellis Island. We looked for his name on the wall, only to discover that he was German! Imagine surviving all those Polack jokes all throughout junior high and high school only to discover that it was for naught! (That's almost as traumatic as surviving being purged out of two different European countries and having to move to the US to escape the destruction of the shtetl. #petehoekstra)

He never told me many Polack jokes, but he sure liked to teach me dirty Yiddish phrases. And my mother recently found a cassette of him teaching me to sing Oyfn Pripetchik when I was about 5. It was awfully darned cute. O Mein Papa. Good times.

Studebaker Hawk October 7, 2011 at 9:20 am

Most everything I know about Ellis Island comes from the Godfather Part II. In that movie, young Vito Andolini from Corleone is incorrectly registered by the Ellis Island clerks as Vito Corleone. So anyway, re: your grandfather's nationality on the wall–clerical error, perhaps?

Extemporanus October 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

You married a Polack! Ha!

But…I…uh…she swore that she was 100% German!

Seriously. Much like your enchanting tale of genealogy and genocide–only in reverse–my wife grew up believing that she was German, only to later discover that she was technically a Polack! (She always harbored a deep sense of guilt about the German thing, because every single German in history was a Nazi.)

When my wife met my grandfather, his first question was that which every member of the Greatest Generation asks someone when they meet: Where's your family from? She knew what he meant…

"Germany."

"But you're Polish."

"No, I'm German."

"I know a Polack when I see one, Blondie [yes, that's what he called her, always], and you're a Polack."

After much more back and forth, she called her sister (both their parents died when they were quite young) to get the name of the city in Germany where their grandparents were supposedly from. (I think it was called Petehoekstra, or something…)

Meanwhile, Fuzz starts digging through the mountain of old maps of Europe that he'd pick up during the War. Long story short: He was fucking right! The area her family fled was only German during the war, when they fled it. Before and after that? Full-on Polackaville. Ha!

Growing up in Milwaukee, I always assumed that Polack was a just derogatory term for a dumb German, and in some ways I guess that wasn't too far off. On the bright side, I later found out that my wife wasn't a real blonde, so I guess that kinda cancels out the whole being a Polack thing.

Hakuna matata, mój przyjaciel.

Hakuna. Fucking. Matata.

not that Dewey October 7, 2011 at 10:15 am

Ellis Island dumb/anti-foreign-attitude clerical errors can definitely explain the Jaeger/Yeager misspelling, and it's not impossible that they got the nationality wrong, too.

However, it wasn't unheard of in 1904 for Jews to be chased out of one country after another, having to adopt new homelands all the time. I imagine one would get sick of that after awhile and just say "fuck it. I'm Polish".

CapnFatback October 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Ha! My father was born in Haren, Germany, in May of 1947, an offspring of a Polish WWII POW and a German girl who worked as a nurse in the camps (love finds its rhizomatic way around many an obstacle, even those of the Godwin variety). But here's his twist: during a brief period following the war, Haren became an enclave for Polish refugees of the labor and prison camps, complete with its own Polish mayor, Polish school, and Polish summer outdoor hockey team.

So I know that whole Polish/German schizophrenia too well. That's why every September 1st, I invade myself. Mit KRAFT, ukochany.

Extemporanus October 8, 2011 at 5:28 am

They both performed extremely well under Prussia.

Extemporanus October 8, 2011 at 5:45 am

That heartwarming story has Academy Award-worthy war torn rom-com written all over it, Cap'n.

I'm not even kidding.

A climactic, accordion-scored "Miracle On Melted Ice" scene alone would be worth the price of admission.

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