Polish Candidate Tries Stripping To Get Votes

  socialists

Uhhh, move over Anthony Wiener? Leftist Polish parliamentary candidate Katarzyna Lenart has made a campaign ad using …some kind of calculation, hard to say what, that taking off her clothes for the Internet will somehow get her in to office. It’s not even the first time Polish lady pols have stripped to get votes, either. You are weird, Polish Parliament.

[Political Wire]

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114 comments

  1. poncho_pilot

    this must be Polish Exceptionalism. this is a type of government transparency i can appreciate.

  2. Beowoof

    I am good with her doing this and I am against censorship. However, Michele can leave her clothes on.

  3. V572-½‡‡‡‡‡

    Glosuj na suld! She's got my vote! Disenfranchised by stupid rules about citizenship, goddamnit.

    Don't get any ideas, though, Ms Palin — you're out. Same for you, O'Donnell.

  4. edgydrifter

    Vote for guys you'd like to have a beer with and ladies you'd like to bang. That's a message that works in any language. I guess America isn't really that exceptional after all.

    1. CapnFatback

      Er . . besides Jackson?

      Now, if you're wondering how many Polacks it takes to make a campaign ad, I'd say–judging from this ad–er, I dunno . . . the number two comes to mind.

      Score one for us Polacks!

      1. Extemporanus

        FUK YOU OTTOKORRECT!!1!

        (Actually, I totally meant to do that. It was a multi-layered, meta-"Polack joke"…DUHHH!)

          1. Radiodead

            How many people of Polish descent does it take to change a light bulb?
            I don't know, ask Copernicus.

          2. not that Dewey

            Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a lightbulb?
            H.I.: I don't know, Glen.
            Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!

            Glen: Shit, man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?
            H.I.: No, Glen, I sure don't.

          3. Extemporanus

            Maybe he told one Polack joke too many…

            In his happy days–the "salad days", as they say–three of my Scot-Irish grandfather's most cherished pastimes were telling jokes, playing golf, and hiding out in the bathroom to avoid my grandmother.

            When I was about five or six, he told me my first "dirty" joke, which was golf-related, while I was literally on the toilet:

            "How did the Polack golfer break his arm?

            He fell off the ball washer!"

            It would be nearly ten years before I truly understood and appreciated the depth of his comedic genius.

            Roughly twenty-five years later, I called to let him know that I'd just gotten engaged:

            "So, what do ya think, Fuzzer? Are you surprised?"

            "This is that leggy Polish girl you've been dating?"

            "Um, yeah."

            "Then no, I'm not surprised. Only a Polack would be dumb enough to marry you, Stretch."

            And then he loved that Polack granddaughter-in-law like she was his very own flesh and blood until the day that he died.

            No joke.

          4. not that Dewey

            You married a Polack! Ha!

            My grandfather emigrated from Warsaw at the age of 2. I grew up believing that I was a Polack. Until one day, when I was in my late 20s, my mother came to visit us in NY, and we went to Ellis Island. We looked for his name on the wall, only to discover that he was German! Imagine surviving all those Polack jokes all throughout junior high and high school only to discover that it was for naught! (That's almost as traumatic as surviving being purged out of two different European countries and having to move to the US to escape the destruction of the shtetl. #petehoekstra)

            He never told me many Polack jokes, but he sure liked to teach me dirty Yiddish phrases. And my mother recently found a cassette of him teaching me to sing Oyfn Pripetchik when I was about 5. It was awfully darned cute. O Mein Papa. Good times.

          5. Studebaker Hawk

            Most everything I know about Ellis Island comes from the Godfather Part II. In that movie, young Vito Andolini from Corleone is incorrectly registered by the Ellis Island clerks as Vito Corleone. So anyway, re: your grandfather's nationality on the wall–clerical error, perhaps?

          6. not that Dewey

            Ellis Island dumb/anti-foreign-attitude clerical errors can definitely explain the Jaeger/Yeager misspelling, and it's not impossible that they got the nationality wrong, too.

            However, it wasn't unheard of in 1904 for Jews to be chased out of one country after another, having to adopt new homelands all the time. I imagine one would get sick of that after awhile and just say "fuck it. I'm Polish".

          7. Extemporanus

            You married a Polack! Ha!

            But…I…uh…she swore that she was 100% German!

            Seriously. Much like your enchanting tale of genealogy and genocide–only in reverse–my wife grew up believing that she was German, only to later discover that she was technically a Polack! (She always harbored a deep sense of guilt about the German thing, because every single German in history was a Nazi.)

            When my wife met my grandfather, his first question was that which every member of the Greatest Generation asks someone when they meet: Where's your family from? She knew what he meant…

            "Germany."

            "But you're Polish."

            "No, I'm German."

            "I know a Polack when I see one, Blondie [yes, that's what he called her, always], and you're a Polack."

            After much more back and forth, she called her sister (both their parents died when they were quite young) to get the name of the city in Germany where their grandparents were supposedly from. (I think it was called Petehoekstra, or something…)

            Meanwhile, Fuzz starts digging through the mountain of old maps of Europe that he'd pick up during the War. Long story short: He was fucking right! The area her family fled was only German during the war, when they fled it. Before and after that? Full-on Polackaville. Ha!

            Growing up in Milwaukee, I always assumed that Polack was a just derogatory term for a dumb German, and in some ways I guess that wasn't too far off. On the bright side, I later found out that my wife wasn't a real blonde, so I guess that kinda cancels out the whole being a Polack thing.

            Hakuna matata, mój przyjaciel.

            Hakuna. Fucking. Matata.

          8. CapnFatback

            Ha! My father was born in Haren, Germany, in May of 1947, an offspring of a Polish WWII POW and a German girl who worked as a nurse in the camps (love finds its rhizomatic way around many an obstacle, even those of the Godwin variety). But here's his twist: during a brief period following the war, Haren became an enclave for Polish refugees of the labor and prison camps, complete with its own Polish mayor, Polish school, and Polish summer outdoor hockey team.

            So I know that whole Polish/German schizophrenia too well. That's why every September 1st, I invade myself. Mit KRAFT, ukochany.

          9. Extemporanus

            That heartwarming story has Academy Award-worthy war torn rom-com written all over it, Cap'n.

            I'm not even kidding.

            A climactic, accordion-scored "Miracle On Melted Ice" scene alone would be worth the price of admission.

          10. Extemporanus

            Fucking brilliant.

            (And I'm rather ashamed to admit that it took me so many revolutions to really, truly get it.)

  5. Callyson

    Then again…
    The ad's tagline: "Want more? Vote for SLD. Only we can do more."
    That's it, send the other parties home…

  6. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    David Vitter considered a similar commercial, but he just couldn't get himself to remove his diaper.

  7. Lascauxcaveman

    …some kind of calculation, hard to say what, that taking off her clothes for the Internet will somehow get her in to office.

    Well, it would get her into *my* office.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      I remember Jimmy Carter giving that speech when he said "I love you people" and the Commie translator said "I lust after your women."

      Wasn't that in Poland? If not, then it should have been. Or the Ukraine, where all those fabulous naked ladies on the Internets want to marry poor Americans.

  8. zhubajie

    Not everyone looks good naked; me, for example. Nudity for 25s and younger, fine. The burka for the rest of us!

  9. GeorgiaBurning

    Everywhere the same; politicians tease you with promises before the election. Poland just teases better.

  10. Come here a minute

    Yes, of course I would vote for the candidate who shows her b00bs, but this candidate did not. FAIL.

  11. Badonkadonkette

    How did the stripper get her campaign commercial past the Polish censors?

    She filmed it backwards and told them she was getting dressed.

    Wocka wocka wocka!

  12. Mrs. Bitch

    Thank Jesus Chris Christie isn't running for prez. His moobs would be a powerful force to be reckoned with if he chose to use them in his campaign.

  13. SorosBot

    Well, I would stand up at attention to do the long, hard work of going to the poleing place and go between the curtains to go and flick the switch and finger her lever back and forth for her to go down and help get her inserted into office.

  14. MilwaukeeKent

    Sorry, the sexist in me, but she can tylko my mozemy any time. This is one more argument for a parliamentary system in the good ol' USA — that and the fact that the only two real political parties seem to be falling apart at the seams (as usual?).
    As always, rent is too damn high…

  15. Negropolis

    This ain't your grandmother's Poland, that's for damned sure. I was fully expecting to see some babushka slowly remove off one of her many petticoats.

    Needz more delicious packzi. Also, this Pole needs to be on a pole. Also.

  16. baconzgood

    I take back every polish joke I ever said. Polish Leftist chick parliamentary candidates are freaking brilliant!!! I'm writing her in for the president and she's not even eligible.

  17. prommie

    Cop pulls over a woman, asks for license and registration, and he looks down at the license and sees her name is Czarnetski. He asks her, "excuse me, is that a Polish name?' She says yes, so he says "OK, you know the routine" and starts unzipping his pants, and she says "oh, no, not the breathalyzer again."

    1. PalinzADummy

      Guy walks into a bar, says "I gotta great Polish joke, anyone wanna hear it?"

      Bartender gives him the stinkeye, signals to the bouncer. Bouncer comes up, big guy, muscles on top of the muscles in places where most people duzn't haz muscles, flexes them at the guy, says, "Look, buddy. I'm Polish. The bartender's Polish. The waitresses are Polish. And those big, mean looking guys over there? All Polish. So, what's this about a Polish joke?"

      Guy says, "OK, fine. I'm gonna tell you REAL SLOW. Now just listen up, 'cause I'm not gonna repeat this."

  18. Porter Melmoth

    It's what'll save MeeShill Bachmann's campaign. Marcus and her exploratory committee are consulting with Victoria's Secret, even as I'm wanking. Szukclevic dzundaza!

  19. mrblifil

    That's nothing, at her "town hall-style" meetings she pulls a train and gargles jizz received from a funnel. She really knows how to motivate her base.

Comments are closed.