TWENTY PULITZERS FOR ALISON KOSIK  10:48 am October 5, 2011

Dim CNN Reporter’s News Analysis of Protesters: They Just ‘Smoke Weed’

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Oh hahahahahahaha we laughed so hard at this one.HAR HAR the whiny hippie 4-year-olds and their marijuana drugs and their stupid drum circles protesting nothing down on Wall Street, that’s a funny! Such wit! Since there is no “opinions are my own” disclaimer on the Twitter feed of CNN business reporter Alison Kosik, we will assume this is the actual official “investigative journalism” of CNN’s crack stable of petulant child-reporter comedians. What other brilliant insights are there to be shared?

Kosik already took the tweet down for some mysterious reason, we are guessing “because it’s idiotic” was not the reason, since she also tweeted this helpful bit of analysis earlier:

Oh wait, so now they do have some demands, but they are too

Haha, “journalism” used to be sort of a nice thing people could turn to for some information about what was happening in the world instead of simply turning on the Internet only to find themselves subjected to a ceaseless stream of complaints from reporters on Twitter. This is an actual “thing” now, reporters bitching constantly that the Wall Street protesters have no list of concrete demands yet, because journalists can only report about themselves trying to report on the protests when the PROTESTS HAVE NO LEDE, THERE IS NO LEDE. WHAT TO DO??? Eh, just complain.

Meanwhile, there is a large labor union solidarity march planned for 4:30 PM today from City Hall to Zuccotti Park, and New York college students are holding a walk-out to protest high tuition rates. Hooray! These things may or may not happen, of course, since it depends on whether they can all break away from their drums and weed long enough.  [Jay Rosen's Tumblr/Twitter]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 261 comments }

4TheTurnstiles October 5, 2011 at 10:51 am

She's a complainer and a whiner. Naturally, she sees complainers and whiners in everyone and everything, and whines about them. Probably has low self esteem and an underperforming clitoris. &c.

SexySmurf October 5, 2011 at 10:52 am

When did CNN hire Cartman to do analysis?

DaRooster October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

"I heyt yu gize."

johnnymeatworth October 5, 2011 at 10:57 am

Since they changed the name to Cartman News Network.

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:00 pm

"The list of whines is hella long."

Callyson October 5, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Since they figured out the secret formula to FOX' success in the ratings game.

FlownOver October 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm

We're all waiting for "Screw you guys…I'm going home."

Make it soon, please, Ms. Carsick.

Nopantsmcgee October 5, 2011 at 10:52 am

Wtf is this bitch's email address?

4TheTurnstiles October 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm
RandPaulsToupee October 5, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Knowing what I know about CNN email addresses, it's probably alison.kosik@turner.com.

memzilla October 5, 2011 at 10:53 am

Cannabis News Network? "Keeping You Informed Since… uh… "

Indiepalin October 5, 2011 at 10:53 am

Why did Fox & Friends let her go?

Chillwaver October 5, 2011 at 11:13 am

Cause she refused to bang the bongos Hank Williams Jr.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 11:51 am

Because she was too smart for that show?

DashboardBuddha October 5, 2011 at 12:05 pm

too liberal

smoothmineral October 5, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Her hair is the wrong color. (Not blonde)

Chillwaver October 5, 2011 at 10:53 am

Alison strikes me as the kind of girl who moved up the CNN ranks way too quickly, if you know what I mean…

bumfug October 5, 2011 at 11:46 am

Gotta go down to move up…

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I remember a NYT reporter whose rapid rise, it was pointed out to me by friends in the NY fishwrap trade, seemed to have a striking correlation to a series of divorces and separations among senior male editorial types. I wonder what country we will invade in ten years or so thanks to Alison Kosik's credulous, shoddy reporting.

jaytingle October 6, 2011 at 8:35 am

She was proved fucking right!

not that Dewey October 5, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Do you mean she pulled an "Erin Burnett"?

Barrelhse October 5, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I fucked her, and I don't even work there.

not that Dewey October 5, 2011 at 10:53 am
mumbly_joe October 5, 2011 at 11:10 am

Too long; didn't read.

(no, she literally pretty much said that)

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 11:31 am

Glass-Steagall??!? What's that, next to Tiffany's?

not that Dewey October 5, 2011 at 12:18 pm

There are plenty of career paths that do not involve any sort of reading at all, like, say, Alabama tomato picker. Perhaps she should consider another line of work.

user-of-owls October 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Si se puede!

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 11:15 am

See – I figured there must be one of those because our intrepid CNN "reporter" says that "the list of whines is too long already".

Great to see such grand objectivity in the media.

not that Dewey October 5, 2011 at 5:22 pm

I think she was talking to her waiter while dictating a Blackberry message to the intern. "Just pick me a goddamn merlot. The list of wines is too long already!"

SarahsBush October 5, 2011 at 11:57 am

To her credit, it's hard to read that through all the pot smoke. Maybe if those whiners would stop playing their bongos for two fucking seconds, she could concentrate.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:38 pm

The MSM seem, in general, to be especially miffed that this movement doesn't have a "leader." If I got a dollar every time I heard the sentence, "It's impossible to tell who the leader of this group is!" I'd be able to buy a can of hobo beans.

not that Dewey October 5, 2011 at 5:19 pm

For all their bitching and moaning and decrying "Cults of Personality", they're totally lost without the Charismatic Leader Model.

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2011 at 10:54 am

She's confusing what the news director told he when she asked how to get ahead in the business: "let me bang Alison Kosik."

mumbly_joe October 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

I tried banging on bongos once, but it's a lot harder than you'd think; they're pretty small, so you keep on falling off.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 10:54 am

Of course I remember them complaining about the much worse lack of a coherent purpose and whinness of the teabaggers.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Not to mention that CNN is now constantly referring to this protest as "the progressive's Tea Party."

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Except this can get more than a few hundred people, the people are demographically diverse instead of almost all old white people, and instead of an hour or two it's been lasting weeks.

Negropolis October 6, 2011 at 12:32 am

You know, I keep saying this when people want to make the false equivalency. I'd like to see a few thousand teabaggers hold a sustained protest for anything longer than a day. They wouldn't make it a week if they actually had to building a community, because they can't building a community. They are the antithesis of a community.

Maggie Thatcher said in more words that there is no such thing as a society. Fuck that. Suck on this, Maggie. People keep asking what "this" is. It's a community; it's society; it's really quite that simple. You all know community, right? It's that thing we've seemed to have lost in this nation.

JoshuaNorton October 5, 2011 at 10:55 am

Hey CNN, 1969 called. It said you really oughta stop stealing crap from The Onion.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

Bongos?
She's confusing hippies with beatniks.
Stupid bitch.

weejee October 5, 2011 at 11:03 am

Prob'ly just a typo MG, she meant bongs.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2011 at 11:09 am

Bang on the bongs?
or
Bang on the bongos?
We need clarification fast! This is important news here.
!!!!11!!

weejee October 5, 2011 at 11:22 am

We need a qwik Waggs update / clarification on this!!1!

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:24 am

Paging Todd Rundgren!!!

__kth__ October 5, 2011 at 12:47 pm

If there are hippies, there are probably drums, though bongos are pretty much an indoor percussion instrument. If I have to bump in to a riled-up protester on the way to work, I'd just as soon he were armed with a snare drum or a cowbell than a Glock.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Clearly these CNN nincompoops have never heard of drum circles.

GOPCrusher October 5, 2011 at 1:30 pm

MAYNARD G. KREBS LIBEL!!!!!

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Yeah, man.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

"Banging on bongos and smoking weed" sounds like a much more noble purpose than "screw as many people out of their life savings as humanly possible" ever will.

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

I think she means "I banged every CNN exec in sight and Erin Burnett still got her own show."

Mumbletypeg October 5, 2011 at 10:57 am

I would like to see this wench locked in a pen with Mr. Waggaman while he explains to her the meaning behind this 'purposeful protest,' in about 140 words or less.

Or any of you wonketeers, really. Myself, I failed pretty badly at trying to explain to the teenaged hairdresser last weekend, in whose chair I found myself tripping over my words trying to offset her [rather uninformed] skepticism. But I'm working at getting better.

comrad_darkness October 5, 2011 at 11:20 am

Start with: why do they get to commit fraud for a decade and then keep all money from committing that fraud along with the taxpayer bailout money, OUR money, that they blackmailed from us. And now they get to legally bribe OUR congress to avoid any and all regulations that keep them from repeating the whole damn credit debacle again.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I hope she didn't screw up your coif too badly.

Barrelhse October 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Was she drinking champagne?

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Somebody asked Bernanke yesterday ("Do you understand what these protesters want?") and he gave a summary in about four sentences that was spot-on. How amazing that HE can get the message and CNN cannot. And meanwhile all those wankers probably have degrees in "communications."

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2011 at 10:57 am

Speaking of Occupy Wall Street.
Has anyone heard from Riley?
Where is Breitbart?
*worried*

HistoriCat October 5, 2011 at 11:53 am

Where is Riley? Arrested? Sick? Got a better offer (sex)?

Damn it Riley – you're not a slacker intern any more!

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 10:58 am

Are these her air checks for the Fox audition?

NorthStarSpanx October 5, 2011 at 1:14 pm

She'll have to go blonder and boobier.

El Pinche October 5, 2011 at 10:58 am

What a CNNt.

mayor_quimby October 5, 2011 at 11:12 am

I like your new moniker. I live not far from CNN Center, maybe I should make a sign that says "Report the news, you CNNTs!" and march around after work. Oh wait, I have a drum circle/foodtruck meetup/dutchie session from 5p-6am, so never mind.
Being a dirty hippie is hard.

El Pinche October 5, 2011 at 11:20 am

Yep, this dirty hippie has to put together a power-point presentation before noon followed by an after-lunch joint. Just keepin it real.

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 11:50 am

There are foodtrucks near the CNN center in Atl? Up here in suburbia they made them all illegals (GET IT??!). I'm a dirty hippie (not so much, bitch from CNNt) and I demand cheap delicious food with my financial reform.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm

I don't know about Atlanta, but apparently the Manhattan food trucks are making a Wall Street-style "killing" at the protest. Funny, I don't remember food trucks at the anti-draft protests. These kids are clever.

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I predict 3-digit upfist for that classic. Bravo, Vive El Pinche.

El Pinche October 5, 2011 at 12:06 pm

A round of Dos Equis for everyone.

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2011 at 10:59 am

the list of whines is too long already.

You kow what's not on their list of whines? "Those bongo-playing potheads are cluttering up the offices of my corporate overlords and interfering with my commute."

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2011 at 10:59 am

I think she got punked by Riley.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

Cheney News Network, here you go:

We're sick of the fucking plutocracy. Got that?
~

comrad_darkness October 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

When's the plutocracy and cleptocracy gotta go? Now!

At one point these greedy bastards understood that taxes were an insurance policy against having to hire a personal army to enjoy their money. They got so blinded by greed they forgot and really, getting angry in their face is about the only reminder that is going to work at this point.

Pithaughn October 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Just for grins, how may I "getting angry in their face" and still not get arrested for nothing more than one of those misdemeanor charges that they throw out en mass later? Should I just sharpen and put a fresh coat of boiled linseed oil on the handle of my pitch fork, or do I need to go with the more primitive pointed ten foot pole?

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I think you just have be a schoolgirl walking across a bridge.

Pithaughn October 5, 2011 at 5:57 pm

No one will mistake me for a school girl. What's next best? Did she really get charged?

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 11:51 am

But I thought Pluto is no longer a planet. It's been relegated to space junk status or something.

LesBontemps October 5, 2011 at 12:14 pm

No bailouts for Pluto-backed derivatives!

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:13 pm

And the Goofiocracy is next!

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:03 pm

I thought that was the Bush Administration. With the apogee of the goofiocracy being the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

We're sick of hearing that "Corporations are people, my friend." Screw 'em.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

Economic protest = Reefer Madness

Rather than actually focus on why these people are mad as hell about Wall St CNN would rather focus on the habits or peculiarities of the protesters. Why? Follow the money trail. CNN pays its bills from advertising. Mostly from insurance scams, er, companies, dick pills and financial institutions of ill repute. They're trying to protect their revenue golden showers.

mayor_quimby October 5, 2011 at 11:20 am

Good Point. I got restless leg syndrome, thin eyelashes, high cholesterol,erectile dysfunction and atrial fibrulation just from watching cable news.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:05 pm

And you will get your idea to sue all the manufacturers of the drugs you've taken from watching any channel after midnight.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I've noticed the Big 3 have been pretty shy about sticking their noses into this story, preferring to squander huge piles of airtime on Amanda Knox and Michael Jackson's frickin' doctor friend. They all suck.

DaRooster October 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

"… explain their purpose in 140 characters…"
Hey, Dipshit, there really is more worth to the world than 140 characters… maybe not your world but to the rest of it.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2011 at 11:01 am

140 characters is pretty much the extent of what she can hold in her pretty coiffed head.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 12:00 pm

One hundred forty characters? I've watched several Shakespeare plays, and he got along fine with a couple of dozen. Is this Ben Hur?

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:16 pm

"Cry "bongos!" and unleash the smoke of weed."

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Maybe her tits will also upfist you for this joyous revelry.

Douché October 5, 2011 at 12:07 pm

That was 120.

JoshuaNorton October 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" will always do in a pinch.

GunToting[Redacted] October 5, 2011 at 11:16 am

"I want my country back" also fits nicely, with some extra characters for expletives…

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"Give our country back," is nice, but it didn't work for the Native Americans, so I doubt it will work now.

johnnyzhivago October 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

These damn hippies should be demanding higher pay for CNN Business Reporters!

comrad_darkness October 5, 2011 at 11:15 am

Yes, because they are Producers of goods and services and therefore useful members of society.

Oh, wait . . .

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 11:54 am

Is she a job creator, too? Or is she a vapid hole of intellectual nothingness who looks pretty on camera?

DaRooster October 5, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Probably a Hand Job creator.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:08 pm

They should be demanding higher pay THAN CNN Business Reporters! FIXED.

Gratuitous World October 5, 2011 at 11:01 am

or as romney called it, "grass warfare."

Chillwaver October 5, 2011 at 11:01 am

Bongos and weed? Is Matthew McConaughey a Wall Street protester?

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 11:55 am

Who would know? I hear there's nobody important there or more reporting would be forthcoming.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Maybe they could fly Dr. Conrad Murray in. Then they'd be on every HLN program.

hollywooddood October 5, 2011 at 11:02 am

Uh, oh. The FemBots have taken over CNN, too.

Be careful out there, Riley.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hopefully he hasn't been maced and arrested, he hasn't updated in a while.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:10 pm

In their defense, the ladies look a little cleaner than Breitbart.

OC_Surf_Serf October 5, 2011 at 11:02 am

march planned for 4:30

Really? If they were just potheads, it would be 4:20…

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2011 at 11:14 am

And then it wouldn't actually get started until sometime around five.

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 11:43 am

And the march would be to 7-11 for Cheetos, Snickers, and maybe some Twinkies.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:46 am

Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos FTW!!!

DaRooster October 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Well, it'll take about 10 minutes to burn…

PuckStopsHere October 5, 2011 at 11:02 am

Keep the gubmit hands off my bong!!!

kissawookiee October 5, 2011 at 11:03 am

If a list of demands responding to a complex and decades-old structural power imbalance cannot be boiled down to 140 characters, well, they're hardly worth thinking about, much less reading. Less reading, there's the ticket! Cain/Twatter 2012!

Texan_Bulldog October 5, 2011 at 11:04 am

Cranky bitch is being a cranky bitch.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:05 am

Fuck this stupid cunt. In fact, sideways chainsaw assfuck her.

FlownOver October 5, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Manners, manners, manners… That's "Sideways chainsaw assfuck her, PLEASE!"

Gleem_McShineys October 5, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Does nobody use an acid-tipped spiked dick anymore?
(Ezra Klein's got one, if anyone's looking)

weejee October 5, 2011 at 11:05 am

Alison should go back to reporting on something she understands like 3-D porn.

DaRooster October 5, 2011 at 11:11 am

"Your taking getting it from all sides."

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 12:27 pm

A story probably best reserved for Jeanne Moos, because she can turn anything into funny.

Ruhe October 5, 2011 at 11:05 am

You know how most people who are fans of a particular band probably don't play music themselves or really understand much about how that is done? These tv "Finance Journalists" are like that. They are totally into Wall Street but seem in general to lack even a basic grasp of the terrifying complexity of the system they are supposed to report on.

GunToting[Redacted] October 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

"Wall Street? Meh. I was TOTALLY into them before you even heard of them…"

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

I was into those dudes before anybody. Partied with them all the time. Asked me to be their manager. I called bullshit on that.

ProudLibunatic October 5, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Yep. My husband (who DOES know this stuff), can't watch them at all.
Talk about a terrifying lack of understanding…

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I have the T-shirt.

Allmighty_Manos October 5, 2011 at 11:06 am

Good point Alison. Why would anyone have a problem with Wall Street, hedge funds and investment bankers? What have they done to make people so angry? It just doesn't make any sense.

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 11:57 am

And it would be impossible to research, so there!

Frost/Nixon/Robocop October 5, 2011 at 11:06 am

You can't expect to be taken seriously as a meaningful protester in the 2000's without a hover-round.

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 11:32 am

And some nice signs with several of the words spelled correctly.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 1:23 pm

hah! "several". probably the two-and-three letter words.

BeliTsari October 5, 2011 at 11:36 am
bebecca2298 October 5, 2011 at 12:33 pm

and dumb dangly things hanging off your hat.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Yeah, the newsbots have a lot of nerve criticizing the zombie costumes. I don't remember anyone complaining about the baggers outfits.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Dude, get up to date. We're in the 2010's now, and if you don't have six hundred people in your Facebook friends list to irritate with your drunk inanity, then your protest falls short of the mark. Might as well be doing guerilla theater or masturbating onstage.

El Pinche October 5, 2011 at 11:07 am

Who follows CNN news models, anyways? Posts sex pics and videos or GTFO.

hagajim October 5, 2011 at 11:08 am

I imagine her IQ is about half of what a person of normal intelligence would have….bitch just got lucky that she has a job where she can bitch.

mumbly_joe October 5, 2011 at 11:09 am

I'm confused, is she trying to imply that the protesters are all hippies, or that they're all physicists?

Pithaughn October 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm

More anecdotal evidence: The smartest person I ever met smoked so much dope that the paraquat killed him. But before he died he and his buddies were given $5million by AC Delco to start up an R&D operation. If you drive a car, you are using software that was first created at said lab. He also married a semi fine woman and fathered one exceptional child. He was also an accomplished bass player. Why the bass? "it's easier to haul around on a bike than my trap set" Doper, Drummer, Super advanced human.

axmxz October 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

They might as well rename the protest "Manhattan Project 2.0"

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:17 pm

She doesn't know what a physicist IS. Now if one of the Kardashians was a physicist … I guess that's not possible.

Maman October 5, 2011 at 11:12 am

Beats the hell out of wearing colonial regalia, riding on Jazzys and taking boner pills

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

Not if you're Bill Bennett.

Maman October 5, 2011 at 1:03 pm

And I am not.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2011 at 11:13 am

If it can't fit on a bumper sticker most Real 'Mericans can't be bothered to try and understand it. 140 characters is giving them way too much credit.

comrad_darkness October 5, 2011 at 11:13 am

Dear U.S. media: You are useless tools.

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Or useful idiots.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm

She's a pitiful excuse that makes Baby Real Journalist cry.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Maybe some of those zombies marching down the street are actually Edward R. Murrow and Eric Sevareid.

GunToting[Redacted] October 5, 2011 at 11:14 am

Maybe she misunderstood the question and was providing her own purpose.

widestanceshakedown October 5, 2011 at 11:15 am

I can see her hurricane disaster coverage/tweet now–"lotsa water/ded pple. so sad 4 them. outta here/kthnxbi"

Gleem_McShineys October 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm

"Planes hit WTC, dirt got in my hair! Gross! U stupid terrorists!"

jodyleek October 5, 2011 at 11:16 am

If you look at Alison's avatar it pretty much explains it all; The top of her head is chopped off but her tits are in full view.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2011 at 12:28 pm

…was her face in that shot? looking…

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Her tits probably have more to offer than her brain does.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 1:53 pm

They certainly have more to do with how she got her job.

crybabyboehner October 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

"Bang on the Bongos, Smoke Weed" is the new "In God We Trvst"

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

She just wants someone to bang on her bunghole.

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 11:30 am

Hell, if she's really desperate, I'll "take one for the team" and get 'er done. It is ok if I gag her and tie her hands to keep her from tweeting, right?!

Rosie_Scenario October 5, 2011 at 11:18 am

Protesters not worth covering: well-educated, peaceful, "hippies," who are taking care of themselves in a city park.

Protesters worth covering: ignorant (re: mispelled signs), racists in Hoverounds, sponsored by corporate masters and lobbyists.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I think you should E-mail that to the news director of CNN.

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 11:19 am

I wonder – how many blow jobs did this bimbo have to give to get her gig?

freakishlywrong October 5, 2011 at 11:25 am

None. They paid her in bongos and weed.

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 5:21 pm

And you're telling me there was no oral after the weed? C'mon……

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 11:53 am

Not as many as it took her to get out of her Fox & Friends contract.

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 5:20 pm

The one with Roger Ailes must have been an ordeal.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 7:05 pm

He'd have to wear a bookmark for her to get started.—

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 12:00 pm

All of them, Katie.

(I never get to say this, so I thought, what the hell?)

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Thank you – I was waiting!

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:50 pm

A Brazillion?

DahBoner October 6, 2011 at 7:36 am

" blow jobs did this bimbo"

She smoked some dopes?

Arken October 5, 2011 at 11:24 am

It's the way that we bong-a the bongo,
It's the way that we bang on the big bass drum,
It's the way that we sing-a the songo
Makes the tropic island hum!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFfW5sTaEfg

donner_froh October 5, 2011 at 11:26 am

Dear Media:

The system that you have served so loyally over your entire existence is in the final stages of its collapse. The "Occupy Wall Street" movement is one of the many things happening that makes that clear. Writing uncomprehending stories about them will not slow the disintegration by one second.

Have a nice career.

Signed,

Your biggest fan

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I wish this were true. I lack your optimism. Haven't you seen this season's Dancing with the Stars? Besides, taxes.

Sue4466 October 5, 2011 at 11:28 am

If only there were people whose job it was to ask the protestors what it is they're seeking?

If only . . . .

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 12:02 pm

They say you're a dreamer……

Sue4466 October 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

But I'm not the only one . . .

Or am I? Because it seems to me this dipshit admitted she's either too lazy or too stupid to do her job (answer, both). And that she lacks the curiosity & follow through one should expect from someone claiming to be a journalist.

neiltheblaze October 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm

I think she has no curiosity because she thinks she already knows what's happening (hippies, and bongoes, and weed – oh my!). Why ask questions when you already know the answers?

The simple truth of it though? My guess? She's afraid to engage them because she knows she'll be embarrassed – possibly on the air. At least I want to believe that.

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 11:28 am

What happened to the good ole days when empty headed bimbos stuck to pole dancing?

jodyleek October 5, 2011 at 11:31 am

I blame John McCain.

GeorgiaBurning October 5, 2011 at 11:33 am

Blame John McCain?

mayor_quimby October 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

great minds….
The Spearmint Rhino is always hiring

donner_froh October 5, 2011 at 11:30 am

Something is happening here but you don't know what it is…

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:48 am

There's a man with a bong over there,
Telling me I got to beware.

freakishlywrong October 5, 2011 at 11:31 am

Alison. Better they roll around on fully gubbmint subsidized scooters yelling about socialized medicine with pictures of POTUS as a witch doctor with a bone in his nose? Fuck. Talk about high.

Come here a minute October 5, 2011 at 11:31 am

How many characters over 140 is "protesting the concentration of wealth and power"?

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 11:33 am

To be fair, I'm glad to see she reads the Fox and Right Wing radio daily talking points.

Slim_Pickins October 5, 2011 at 11:34 am

Time for CNN to excercise the Hank Williams, Jr option on her?

user-of-owls October 5, 2011 at 12:35 pm

You mean throw her off a mountain? Sounds fair to me.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:36 am

If it was just a bunch of hippies wanting to bang on drums and smoke dope, you'd figure they'd find someplace a little more conducive to those activities, like out in the forest or the desert or on some deserted stretch of beach, not in the very center of the most densely populated place on the whole fucking continent. Once again: stupid cunt.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 11:49 am

They're protesting in in the center of Mexico City?

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

Pffffft. Everyone knows Mexico City is on the continent of Central America.

DashboardBuddha October 5, 2011 at 11:37 am

Unfortunately, if any political point of view needs more than 140 characters to be explained it will fall on the garbage heap of history.

The idiotcracy is here.

smitallica October 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

Stupid hippies. Why can't you just shut up and continue getting fucked by the 1% who owns everything, like those nice, quiet people in the Middle Eas…
Oh, wait. Nevermind.

lulzmonger October 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

Smoking weed could never render you stupid enough to believe that "140 characters" is a sane benchmark for journalism = CNN bitch needs to take her coke-dealer off the speed-dial.

widestanceshakedown October 5, 2011 at 11:43 am

CNN hired Kortney's sister because she was hot and got ratings.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:44 am

Someone with the ability needs to send a tweet to that first chick Bookgirl96 and let her know that she is a "vapid shallow twat." That's less than 140, right?

fuflans October 5, 2011 at 11:44 am

they keep wishing and propagandizing and tweeting and analyzing and bloviating that this will go away.

it's not going away assholes.

Blueb4sunrise October 5, 2011 at 11:45 am

Thanks to all those in the Carter of Mars – Money Just Vanished thread who explained things to me. Reminds me of an old Mojo Nixon/Skid Roper tune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIo7eTS-2PI&fe

johnnyzhivago October 5, 2011 at 11:49 am

If I wanted an intelligent opinion on the demonstrations, I'd ask my cat, not send a tweet to CNN.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 11:49 am

Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.

Come here a minute October 5, 2011 at 11:54 am

Sometimes I wish that I could STOP you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say.

real_dc_native October 5, 2011 at 11:50 am

We all know that any discussion of issues or policies that can't be expressed in 140 characters or less is not important. (Because it makes my head hurt).

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2011 at 11:55 am

If BookGirl96 wants it explained in 140 characters, she can try this: Government should benefit its citizens and the economy should benefit its consumers.

With 56 characters left over for any extra retweeting. Now do you understand?

freakishlywrong October 5, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I think "BookGirl" is a misnomer.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Or the "books" refer only to The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged.

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Maybe DoorstopGirl was already taken.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I think her reading ability probably limits her to "The Little Engine that Could" and "Dick and Jane."

Nothingisamiss October 5, 2011 at 12:05 pm

No. Hippie communist agitator says what?

user-of-owls October 5, 2011 at 12:37 pm

If you divide 56 by 2, you get 28.

That means we can write "FUCK YOU!" 28 eight times.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

I continue to think it is interesting that people who are vocally against drugs – particularly weed – don't consider alcohol to be a drug. The drug of choice for the wealthy doesn't register on the scale. Years ago, a recovering alcoholic told me "There are more drunks on Montgomery Street than on Mission Street."

Somehow, the dry white wine she sips each evening isn't a drug. But if a few folks decide it's a good time to twist a fatty, Western civilization is suddenly in peril.

Meanwhile, why did this news network hire someone who can't tell the difference between the Occupy Wall Street Protest and Burning Man?

freakishlywrong October 5, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Ha Ha! Tundra! You said "news".

Callyson October 5, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Smoking a joint and protesting against Wall Street greed: bad
Having a drink and organizing deals to enrich Wall Street: good

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Drinking champagne on a terrace, flashing shit-eating smirks on punchable faces, ostentatiously cackling about your successful fleecing of the 99%: grrrrreat!

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Have you ever noticed there are fewer and fewer non-pretty newspersons? Walter Kronkite never won any beauty pageants.

SorosBot October 5, 2011 at 11:59 am

Based on that little photo, Kosik looks too be relatively young; it's sad to see that she's already acting like a grouchy old lady in "Hey kids, get off my lawn!" mode.

Hurricane Ali October 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm

The problem is that the protestors haven't sent out reams of press releases to these hockypucks to tell them what to write. Thus, THERE IS NO LEDE!

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:59 pm

In tea party gatherings, there is already a message crafted well in advance at the Mackinac Center or similar Koch-and-other-Cocks-funded bullshit refinery. Then after the tricorn-hatted ones motor around shouting "Obama is a socialism!", "Obama is a muslin!", "Obama is a mausoleum!", "Obama is a moose!", "Obama = Hilter", "Jeff Gordon's a fag!", "Bring back Hee-Haw!" for four hours, a well-prepared silk-suit wearing spokesman of the sponsoring agency with a name like "Freedomstuff" can say "As you can see for yourself, Charlie, the focus of the protestors is the oppressively high corporate tax rate, and coercive union rules that keep great teachers from being retained."

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Jeff Gordon ISN'T a fag?!

KommunistKitty October 5, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Why won't these lazy weed-heads do these poor journalists jobs for them and write a 140 character summary of newsworthy events? Do these spoiled brats expect journalists to be able to analyze information and then offer an informative summary using only there minds? What a bunch of entitled hippies.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:59 pm

She probably considers reading press releases from Dow Chemical and Monsanto off the teleprompter to be investigative journalism. Twat.

SaintRond October 5, 2011 at 12:12 pm

That cunt.

iburl October 5, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Conflict of interest anyone?

"Alison Kosik is a business correspondent for CNN. She is based in CNN’s bureau in New York. In addition to reporting live daily from the New York Stock Exchange in New York, she provides business and financial reporting for CNN networks and platforms."

Not as bad as CNN's Erin Burnett shitting on the protesters as she prepares to marry a wall street titan.

imissopus October 5, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I happen to have just watched a couple of clips of her show online, including her "Seriously?!" bit on the OWS protests, and I can't believe this woman is considered a journalist. She's a horribly biased, intellectually lazy, screeching she-beast who should be relegated to a job where she does not have contact with other people, thus sparing the rest of humanity from being infected with her drivel.

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

"should be relegated to a job where she does not have contact with other people, thus sparing the rest of humanity from being infected with her drivel."

Already done. She's on CNN.

Callyson October 5, 2011 at 12:17 pm

From CNN's website:
Kosik began working for CNN in 2008. She covered the financial sector during the 2007 recession, the downfall of Lehman Brothers. She reported on the wave of home foreclosures, the flash crash of 2010 and President Obama’s 2009 Stimulus plan.
And this moron still does not know why people have complaints about Wall Street? JFC…

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Those were big events, and so CNN had to distribute tasks among their team. Kosik was detailed to cover fashion trends among the participants. She was the one who broke the big "Paulson wearing a wider tie" story that dominated the business shows for days. Also she gained the admiration of her colleagues when she was the first to use the phrase "tall and elegantly dressed" to describe Christine Lagarde.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Aw, come on. She's bent out of shape because she's older than Amanda Knox, who's hogging all the camera time.

OKthennext October 5, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I've been wondering what to send in a care package to:

The UPS Store*
Re: Occupy Wall Street
118A Fulton St. #205
New York, NY 10038

I think I'll send a drum and some weed.

*donation address posted on occupywallst.org

An_Outhouse October 5, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Alison , here's my purpose: bang on you and smoke weed.

How do these legacies get these jobs? Is it the boobs? Do I need to get myself some boobs?

user-of-owls October 5, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Alison Kosik is a square.

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I 'd like to see her explain derivatives in 140 TRILLION characters or less.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 2:47 pm

A financial instrument that derives its value from something else.

Radiodead October 5, 2011 at 3:53 pm

If you have to explain a $600 trillion joke, then it's not really funny.

Chichikovovich October 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm

The list is too long? What the hell? I read that list, and they still have pages of stuff to go. Repeal the Taft-Hartley act, for starters.

user-of-owls October 5, 2011 at 12:32 pm

"And now for a response to Alison Kosik's critical Twitter comments, we turn to Occupy Wall Street spokesman Maynard G. Krebs."

weejee October 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Playing his bongos no doubt.

starfanglednut October 5, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Sign I plan to bring to New York:

This sine is mispeled. Take us seeriuslee now?

chicken_thief October 5, 2011 at 2:03 pm

It really really helps if you misspell the insults, you moran!

See how that adds impact?

starfanglednut October 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm

I fOrgot rAndom CaPs!!

weejee October 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm

While the CNNts from CNN twat on about the Occupy Wall Street seminar on the role of quants in 21st century investing, MoJo is insanely reporting that the Jerry Brown and the State of Californication, in a frantic attempt to reduce prison populations, have declared that participation in lynchings and possession of weapons of mass destruction are no longer serious crimes in the Golden State. Huzzah! Rationality is finally showing its beloved head.

Buckminster October 5, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Yeah, explain some thirty years of public policy that has left the vast majority with the short end of the stick in 140 characters or less. Journalism used to be about in-depth, thorough coverage of news, not about the slick hair and the sound bite. Back before people like this twat walked the planet.

BornInATrailer October 5, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Stupid cunt is stupid.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Put more emphasis on the weed, less on the bongos, and you will probably quadruple the number of protesters in a day.

GortRay October 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Oh Confused Nonsense Network…is there anything you can get right?

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Well, she should at least be in the running for the Pulitzer for "most compelling, evocative tweet."

BlueStateLibel October 5, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Oh, go put together another three-hour story about Chris Christie not running. And then discuss his weight for another three hours with your crack team of the universe's best team of blah, blah, blah.

CapnFatback October 5, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Kosik has a point: why settle for whine when you can be drinking champagne, on a balcony, heaping scorn and used caviar on the protestors?

LiveToServeYa October 5, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Well, then, today we are *all* bongo-banging weed-smokers.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I don't want to work.

I want to bang on the drums all day.

Antispandex October 5, 2011 at 1:15 pm

The pictures say a lot. Average looking person = Bookgirl96, Obvious media whore who slept her way to the top = AlisonKosikCNN

gullywompr October 5, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee… No, that ain't workin'.

Wonderthing October 5, 2011 at 1:52 pm

fuk tha guvvamint, us wants munnies for nuthin' chix fer freeh

imissopus October 5, 2011 at 1:57 pm

A guy from Second City in L.A. wants to help the protesters out:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/05/andy-cob

poncho_pilot October 5, 2011 at 2:39 pm

i hate when people with fairly decent jobs complain…about having to do their fucking jobs.

"hmm…what to do today? act like a journalist or tweet bad jokes?"

Neoyorquino October 5, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Tundra Grifter October 5, 2011 at 2:51 pm

You may not need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, but sometimes it is helpful to have a reporter to tell us what's news.

In this case, we have a reporter who needs a reporter – apparently she can't find out the news on her own. I must be confused, because up to know I pretty much figured that was her job.

sati_demise October 5, 2011 at 3:28 pm

She also complained of the smell, amirite? 'Cause people who camp out with no bathrooms tend to smell a little.

At least honest BO does not set off my allergies like her fuckin' corporate approved 'perfume'. Do not ride in an elevator with this woman.

sati_demise October 5, 2011 at 3:37 pm

She is such a snobby cunt that no one at #OccupyWallStreet will talk to her?

Go ahead pot smoking bongo players, talk to this poor woman!
Let her do her job now.

ttommyunger October 5, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Ah yes, young, dumb and full of cum….Whose? We can only speculate, Alison, we can only speculate.

jean-philippe October 5, 2011 at 9:38 pm

I'm so glad I stopped watching CNN.

Negropolis October 6, 2011 at 12:37 am

The media will so regret maligning this movement. You know what this is all about, recognizing that the financial overlords, through their imcompetence, drew a line on the sand and the left has finally awoken and demanded that everyone take a side. I pray our so-called betters make the right decision before it's too late…

DahBoner October 6, 2011 at 7:33 am

That's funny!

They didn't mention that a few years ago, New York City Diesel was going for $100 an eighth, delivered by bicycle messenger, to the Secret Smoker Brokers on Wall Street.

They don't make hedge fund managers making 10 billion a year pee in a bottle, don't ya know…

lunasceiling October 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Aw, isn't that cute: the Old Media still thinks it's relevant.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Here's the video of her arrest. Don't know what happened after that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36e57Ntp-8g&fe…!

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