Alabama is just the latest backwards state to legally codify its crusader witch hunt against the illegal immigrant wizards working their back-breaking field labor black magick on Alabama’s giant agriculture industry, but the state’s recently-enacted set of draconian worst-ever anti-immigrant laws are working a little too fast: zillions of Alabama tomatoes are rotting away in the fields this harvest season as undocumented immigrants flee like hell. Tomato farmers got together to protest these vicious dingus laws and make GOP state senator Scott Beason — the same creepy racist turd blossom who called African Americans “aborigines” — haul around one of the tomato buckets for five seconds to see how heavy they are. Beason felt he was too good for this and refused to pick it up, which is…hey, exactly like every other legal worker in Alabama!

The AP has the details of the Tomato Bucket Incident:

Tomato farmer Brian Cash said the migrant workers who would normally be on Chandler Mountain have gone to other states with less restrictive laws.

After talking with famers at the tomato shed, Beason visited the Smith family’s farm. Leroy Smith, Chad Smith’s father, challenged the senator to pick a bucket full of tomatoes and experience the labor-intensive work.

Beason declined but promised to see what could be done to help farmers while still trying to keep illegal immigrants out of Alabama.

Smith threw down the bucket he offered Beason and said, “There, I figured it would be like that.”

Oh well, at least Alabama and Scott Beason got to make their Important Point, about being dicks. [AP]

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  • Trail Of Fears

    • 6079_Smith_W

      Beason's Facebook supporters' thoughtful and balanced ' views are brilliant. I threw a link on his wall:… and ery soon, ShalaBAM! — wall disabled to unfriends. Classy.

      Incidentally, my wife is from Bama. There are only three honkee hairstyle options there. Being neither a "millitray" nor a mountain Paeleolith, Beason is forced to wear the style I call "The Wanker." He's a good guy, really. Loves the Lord.

  • Callyson

    Looking forward to those farmers tossing rotten tomatoes to Scott Beason…I hope…

    • Mojopo

      I can't even tell you how mad I am. Wait – yes I can. If these human-sized pieces of shit had to spend one minute living like poor migrants they would never last. Everyone should throw the wormiest, maggoty-est tamotoes they can find at this guy and fill his SUV (or his bullshit truck) full of bottom-shelf used douche.

    • OzoneTom

      There's someone to pick popcorn though, right? Right?

  • Barb

    Serves the uncle fuckers right. Without the tomatoes they won't be able to have ketchup for their Thanksgiving table.

    • True story. My sister, of all people, went into the ketchup business. She sold a ketchup made from "an old family recipe". I happen to be in that family, but I only saw Heinz on the table. I think they hid the family recipe ketchup from me. Bastards.

      • Barb

        Wow, I like your story! Rich friends are the best friends.
        I don't eat ketchup. I gag at the sight and/or smell of it.
        I was at a Five Guys Burgers and I watched a woman squirt out 9 portion cups of ketchup and it made me feel oogie. Luckily, Jeffer hates ketchup more than I do.

        • Mojopo

          I haven't been in Arby's in years, but I would have filled a sytrofoam cup with Arby's Sauce if they let me. Are you kidding me? Easy.

          • slamtundra

            Oh hell yes, Arby's Sauce. Not that nasty Horsey Sauce shit, but Arby's Sauce.

  • JoshuaNorton

    The short term solution would be to let them just buy the Messicans. The state obviously can't function without some sort of slavery.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Uncle José’s Cabin just doesn’t have the right ring to it.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Tio José’s Colonia

    • zhubajie

      But then they'd have to house and feed them…

      • Nothingisamiss

        Not in libertarian paradise, sir. If slavery isn't job creation, then I don't know what "you people" want.

  • V572 Moon!

    The Illegals are responsible for (1) the Wall Street collapse; (2) the endless wars in Hajji-land; (3) global warming; (4) and the fact there weren't enough hot women in tight clothes in last night's "House MD" season opener.

    So way to go, Alabammy! This'll solve all our problems! Or, Tomato Farmer Cash could pay enough cash that non-Illegals would want the jobs he's offering. Why doesn't he do that? Oh, right: because he can get Illegals.

    • DashboardBuddha

      You forgot dandruff.

    • PalinzADummy

      If he pays enough to hire American workers (most of whom have AT LEAST high school education, if not some college, and therefore, are in debt), he's gonna have to charge a hella lot more for tomatoes. It wasn't that long ago that some restaurant chain (was it McDonalds) screamed blue bloody murder about having to pay X pennies more per Y quantity of tomatoes. It might have been as little as a penny a pound, but I forget, thanks to the large quantities of drugs I must imbibe to remain sane.

      • HateMachine

        Whatever it was, it was bad enough that at the McDonalds locations in my area (and I think the Wendys too), they said they were leaving tomatoes off the burgers unless you explicitly demanded them.

      • sati_demise

        It was Burger King and they would not pay an extra penny per pound of tomatoes. The whole thing sucked and I never ate at BK again, the end.

        Now I only eat real food.

    • sati_demise

      Georgia tried hiring the legal locals. Turns out, if you do not know how to pick crops, you cant even make minimum wage.

      And even when they were desperate for money they were not physically able to do these jobs and had to quit before the day was over.

      If you know the Mexican families who do this work it is something they learn while young and build up their stamina in order to make a good wage. These workers are skilled labor.

      • PalinzADummy

        They were trying to get parolees to pick the crops. If you've ever done your own food garden, you know that small-scale food-gardening is the most unglamorous kind of labour there is. Bent over in the hot sun working half an acre is nothing at all like what these people have to do. It takes real skill to tell when a fruit or vegetable is ripe, and to pick it with no damage to the plant. That's not something you can learn from a book. Unfortunately, this type of skill is not part of a set that leads to a *career* with actual benefits (like promotions, training, workers' compensation for injuries, and the like). And because most Americans carry education-related debt, they need to make a higher wage than is paid for agricultural labour. Christ, even with a white-collar job, school loans hang around your neck for YEARS. With an ag job, you'll never get out of that debt.

    • Columbus1011

      Back to the futher……..That where alabama poor education system is taking its citizens..get the car out fred, bam bam & i need a lift to our new job….yaba yaba doo…….

  • nounverb911

    I see Alabama followed Georgia's example of screwing the farmers.

    • PalinzADummy

      Not *just* the farmers, dear. Consumers will be bearing the brunt of the fallout, as the cost of food soars due to lack thereof. Jeezus, these people are so fucking stupid, it makes my whole fucking body hurt.

      • bravo_sierra

        Oh, like people in those states buy produce anyway. Thanks to America's lucrative farm subsidy scheme, the "foods" they do eat will stay nice and cheap.

        • Boojum_Reborn

          Fried stuff needs catsup. Or ketchup. Or that red stuff that supposedly contained tomatoes.

    • Negropolis

      Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia have all enacted some ridiculous as fuck laws against migrants. The Deep South is regressing if that's even possible.

      • HutchBabe

        Having lived in southern Georgia, oh, it's possible.

  • nounverb911

    Who's going to clean up after the fans at Bryant-Denny Stadium?

  • CapnFatback

    Alabama state senators: doing the jobs Americans won't do.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or not.

  • V572 Moon!

    Has anyone asked Hank Williams, Jr, for his thoughts on this important issue?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Hank, Jr. is too busy recording the opening music for ESPN's televising of the Championship Poker Games.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Doubtful. I'm related to some of the principals involved in championship poker, and these people would rather start every hand forever at 2-7 unsuited than let Randall perform.

  • CapnFatback

    Bucket of tomatoes, Deep South, who cares? Offer Beason a bucket of bacon and see how fast he scrambles to pick that fucker up.

    • bflrtsplk

      Make that pork, son.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Or young boys. A big bucket of young boys.

  • hollywooddood

    This is good news for the unemployed white men in Alabama. Go get your jobs, fellas!

    • littlebigdaddy

      Out here in Colorado there have been stories about farmers who have not been able to hire as many Mexicans on temporary visas, and have offered jobs to local real mericans, and 80% of them don't come back the second day. That shit's hard, and we are a nation that has trouble walking from the car to the Wal-Mart greeter without a hit of oxygen. The Mexicans should just let us starve.

      • PalinzADummy

        It's not *just* that it's hard. Americans do all kinds of hard labour. There's other issues in there: 1. It's physically exhausting labour; 2. Performed under dangerous and difficult conditions (farmworkers are exposed to deadly quantities of pesticides pretty routinely; and quite a few of them suffer from heat stroke while they work; they get no breaks; no toilet facilities available; and the work requires a skillset most Americans do not have. There's no point in picking unripe fruit and vegetables; yet, when it ripens, it's at peak freshness for a very limited period of time, and must be gathered and processed quickly, because once it passes peak, it's essentially unusuable. We don't need that skillset, and it is not highly valued, therefore we do not acquire it. Therefore, we need the braceros to pick our produce.

        • not that Dewey

          You forgot about facebook. The migrant farmworkers never get a chance to check their facebook. Therefore no 'merican is willing to do it.

          • PalinzADummy

            But doesn't *everybody* these days have a cool new phone that lets you do that shit?

          • Just tell your iPhone 4S's Siri Assistant "pick me some tomatoes."

          • PalinzADummy

            I don't have an iPhone, but I bet that's one of their selling points: 1. Will pick your tomatoes; 2. Will render them comestible by any means necessary; 3. Will serve them to you so you don't have to haul your fat ass to the kitchen, even.

          • not that Dewey

            4. WIll apply salve to your bleeding callouses
            5. will rehydrate you after you collapse in the field.

        • You describe a situation in which you'd think the braceros could play hardball for more money.

          • PalinzADummy

            Well, that's why we don't have a legal, bracero program any more. We have, instead, all these totally unrealistic expectations about our porous southern border and the poverty-stricken nations that lie beyond it, the amount we're willing to pay for produce, our willingness to impose fair labour laws, and actually attempt to deal fairly with the workers who keep our farms and supermarkets running, and food and wine on our tables. They can't play hardball, all the cards are stacked against them.

  • I wonder how long it will take for the stupid, racist, teabagger fucks to go ask the U.S. Government for $$$relief.

    • Terry

      The stupid, racist, tea bagger fucks aren't the farmers, who have been working with the Hispanic workers for years. The tea baggers will be utterly unaffected by this, as eating veggies isn't their thing. On the other hand, the farmers will be ruined.

      • emmelemm

        What about ketchup for their SuperSize fries, though? And sauce for their Papa John's pizzas?

        I agree in principle that eating veggies is unimportant to the average Teabagger, but tomatoes do play a significant role in their lives.

        • Sue4466

          Keep your tomatoes out of my ketchup!

        • Oh man, the minute McDonalds starts charging for ketchup packets you know these idiots will have a change of heart.

          • emmelemm

            Amen, my favorite penguin, amen.

            Side note: it took me a REALLY long time to "see" (get) your username, even with the Opus avatar. But I likes it!

          • mayor_quimby

            The actually might charging for these little marvels of Amurikan ingenuity.

            Seriously, what fucking took them this long to get this to market? Patent of the century!

      • How does hiring migrant workers necessarily prove they're not stupid and racist?

        • Terry

          It doesn't necessarily, but it proves that they don't want to get rid of the migrant workers as the farmers know that they can't get other folks to do the work.

  • schvitzatura

    Don't these farmers know that if they'd only get on the CSA bandwagon that their need for stoop labor would be filled by rich city folk looking to pick vine-ripened, peak season heirloom 'mater cultivars, like Black Krim and M.C. "Radiator Charlie" Byles' Mortgage Lifter?

    Silly Bama clodhoppers!

    • emmelemm

      Guilty as charged.

    • Terry

      There are only so many yuppies in places like Mobile, Huntsville, Tuscaloosa, and Birmingham, while there are lots and lots and lots of tomatoes to be picked.

    • user-of-owls

      Who the fuck is gonna eat those things. They have flavor. I mean, shit, you probably don't even believe that the best lettuce in the world is iceberg, do you?

      • mayor_quimby

        Very true. I had some ugly-ass heirloom the other day and thought ' why do we eat those other tasteless shitballs?' The old varieties are like eating a steak!

  • emmelemm

    "creepy racist turd blossom" is my personal favorite phrase of the day.

  • schvitzatura

    There is a mountain in St. Clair County, Ala., known as Chandler Mountain. This mountain looks similar to any mountain in the Southern Appalachians, but one thing sets it apart. The top of Chandler Mountain was discovered to be an ideal location for growing tomatoes. In fact, it is possible to grow two, and sometimes three, crops a year.

  • aklibtard

    Sounds like someone's upset he doesn't have underage Mexicans to rape

  • Indiepalin

    Oh Alabam'. You've got the rest of the union to help you along.

    • Oblios_Cap

      One wheel in the ditch and one wheel on the ground.

  • MiniMencken

    As dear old uncle Vladimir Illych Lenin once observed, "The worse, the better!"

  • mourningnmerica

    Immigrants are evil. And now, tomatoes are $4.00 a pound. Great.

    If the Teatards continue to be successful getting the legislation they want, you won't be able to get an abortion, OR a fuckin' BLT at Denny's, for less than $12 anyway.

    • fuflans

      yeah but none of it will matter b/c we won't have a fed, a currency or a credit rating.

    • Nothingisamiss

      If they start charging more for gay marriages, protesting on wall street and Sarah Palin fundraisers I am sooooo out of here.

  • mourningnmerica

    Can't we just buy tomatoes from China? I mean, problem solved.

    • snackypants

      Tomatoes with a healthy dose of melamine!

    • glamourdammerung

      Until you find out the "tomatoes" are toxic cardboard and lead paint.

    • Negropolis

      Sure, but I'd like my tomatoes unleaded, por favor.

    • mayor_quimby

      You are a fucking problem solver! Boom, done. …

  • sezme

    As Nina Simone was fond of saying, Alabama: God damn!

    • jaytingle

      Pretty sure she said Mississippi. Of course, she moved to France, so I guess we know everything we need to know about her!

      • sezme

        Oh I guess you're right and I was misremembering, but really, goddam all these self-entitled racist pricks. And I'm sure Nina would have agreed with that.

        • jaytingle

          To be sure, you are correct:
          Alabama's got me so upset,
          Tennessee's made me lose my rest,
          and everybody knows about Mississippi goddam

  • Blendergoathead

    Meh. I live in California; fuck Alabama tomatoes (and Alabama, and all the racist pigfuckers in it) right in the nose.

    Unless they somehow need tomatoes to make vodka… then I'd be distressed.

    • Not a fan of Bloody Mary's, then?

      Well hell, so long as you've got the vodka, open a packet and make a Kool-Aid Cosmo. No produce required.

  • mourningnmerica

    I really love green peppers. Spinach too. And especially asparagus. Mexicans don't pick THOSE, do they? Fucking Mexicans. Can't live with 'em, ……

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      … can't keep your house clean with out 'em.

  • mourningnmerica

    Mexicans: The heroin of corporate America.

    Or is it: Slave wages: The herion of corporate America.

  • Rotundo_

    Logic check time: Pass draconian anti illegal immigrant legislation over the protests of agribusiness to look good to the bubbas makes it difficult to harvest crops which means agribusiness stops donating to those who passed stupid law and they are replaced in subsequent elections? Nahh! They'll just keep electing idiots again and again and again and again…..

  • edgydrifter

    From the urban professionals with a Honduran nanny to the restaurant owner with the Mexican kitchen staff to the modern plantation manager who relies on Nicaraguan field hands–it's astounding the number of folks in the land of Dixie who vote for crap like this, never imagining that it might apply to them.
    Reap what you sow, crackers.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Amazing how we have a situation here folks, where everyone, apart from the poor Mex's, looks like the 24 carat twats that they are.Maybe getting on board with that abolish slavery meme (and pay a living wage) back about 150 years ago would be helping y'all now….

  • Gorillionaire

    The obvious GOP solution will be to close the public schools and put elementary school age children to work in the fields, sun up to sun down, just like it says in the Old Testament or some shit.

  • Sue4466

    As a Georgia resident I say to Alabama: copycat!

    Dumb, stupid, meanspirited copycats.

    • Nothingisamiss

      You tell 'em, Sue! We were the dumb racist shitbags first!

      • Sue4466

        GA's gotta be first in something. Sure won't be in smarts, healthcare, or kindness. So, fucking with the Messicans is all we's gots left.

  • rambone

    So here's the thing. If you legalize them, they'll be just as lazy as us. But if you enforce the laws then they'll leave.

    Is there no final solution??? Hmm . . . I'll need to concentrate on this one . . . Perhaps if we encourage them to work in special camps?

    • emmelemm

      While keeping them in check by flying overhead in helicopters, with guns?

      Sounds great!!

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Work makes you free……..

  • Why aren't the tomato farmer's neighbors all coming out to help him in his time of need? Isn't that what's supposed to happen when government does what it's supposed to: secure our borders and get out of the way of the free market?

    Come on, Beason. When life hands you rotten tomatoes, make tomato juice.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He and his fellow AL legislators are all heading to the fields, buckets in hands. Yeah, you bet.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Ron Paul yearns for just such a scenario, when we all minded our own business and got by on our own boot-straps and didn't have the Feds come bail us out.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Looks like the Senator wants pure Aryan tomatoes grown and picked by white Christian hands for $15 a pound. Of course they'll be picked by illegal Romanians living in a shipping container.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Hey at least Romanians is white (sort of)!

      • So long as they aren't filthy gypsies, which are a kind of dot-Injun.

      • kissawookiee

        But they're saints-and-icons Christians, which is to say, pagans.

    • Nostrildamus

      Romanian pickers are a nice fit to the Transylvanian Count Senator that sleeps in a coffin.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Given that unemployment in Alabama is 10% right now, I assume that tons of good ol' boys are lining up to pick tomatoes now that those damn Mexicans aren't taking their jobs.

    • user-of-owls

      They'll pick 'em, but they damn well won't pick up the baskets.

    • miss_grundy

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, you're so funny! Are you kidding me, illiterate white people working as field hands? No way, Jose, white people can't do that kind of work, they aren't that industrious.

  • Goonemeritus

    This is what happens when the oligarchs lose control of their useful racist brethren. The oligarchs want to continue large scale illegal immigration to keep pay low. Racists just want fewer brown people in the country. You will see a huge move to reinstate the Bracero Program if business continues to suffer.

  • glamourdammerung

    Sounds like one of those job-killing regulations I keep hearing teabaggers scream about.

    • Heh. Now that's an interesting comment on framing an issue. I'd never even thought of that.

      • glamourdammerung

        Well, they are the same party that a year or two ago claimed that not using overseas slaves was too terrible of a burden to inflict on businesses, so this it seems pretty apt to me.

  • BZ1

    "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free … hey, wait a minute, buddy …

  • "Alabama Tomatoes"? Consulting urban dictionary…

  • Wait, what? Weren't they supposed to get truckloads of prisoners from California to do this work?

    • Nothingisamiss

      As soon as poor houses and orphanges start springing up again we'll be fine. And sleeping in the tomato fields has the added advantage of reducing prison overcrowding!

  • "Tomato farmers got together to protest these vicious dingus laws and make GOP state senator Scott Beason…"

    Even though, I'm guessing, they all voted for him.

  • Guppy06

    Maybe if they allowed the invisible hand of the market to work, the wages of the tomato pickers would go up to the point that legal workers would be willing to do it.

    If your business model requires workers kept in constant fear of la migra, there's something fundamentally wrong.

    On the plus side, I am enjoying watching the crony capitalists and the xenophobes fight to the death.

    • emmelemm

      That's always been my view. All these business owners bitching about "minimum wage": If your business model can't generate enough revenue to pay the people you employ a semi-living wage (AS IF, but let's use mandated minimum wage for the sake of argument), then there is something wrong with your business model.

      • FNMA

        Why did this make me think of Ariana Huffington?

      • bravo_sierra

        From what I've read, farm workers can earn up to $20 an hour. The wage isn't the issue, it is how miserable the work is. So yes, I'm sure there's some sort of magical hourly wage that would entice Americans to stoop and pick in the dust and heat all day long, but it would be so high, the cost of the produce would have to rise considerably. On top of that, produce farmers are competing with soy, wheat and corn farmers that enjoy generous subsidies from our government.

        • emmelemm

          I was just extrapolating to any industry or business in general; I hate hearing "business owners" say "If you raise the minimum wage 25 cents, I'll go out of business!" If you can't pay the people who actually work to make your business succeed $7-8 an hour, you don't have a viable business.

        • Guppy06

          It probably depends on the crop. The plight of undocumented tomato pickers in Florida has been making the news often down here, with the unions trying to get the grocery stores to charge 1¢ more a per pound, to go towards the workers.

          I believe they're paid by the bushel, too.

          But in any event, even if they are getting $20 an hour while lounging around, "what the market will bear" is "what the market will bear." The GOP doesn't get to tell the Invisible Hand what to do.

  • JackObin

    Alabama, the gateway to Mississippi!

  • Mexican farmers grow lots of tomatoes. Import them and let the farmers who elected asshats like Scott Beason worry about what to do with no longer needed farm.

    • HateMachine

      Hey, when they said that the migrants were leaving the state in droves, they never said they were going to Mexico. That's out of the frying pan…

  • FakaktaSouth

    Yeah, this is smart. Fuck with food in the second fattest state in the nation. That'll get you some votes you pricks.

    NO ONE I know here in Bammer, even ones that talk shit in general about Hispanics (or blacks or Asians or any non-whitey) EVER gave a shit about having "too many of them here." See, good old boys are in construction, and have landscaping companies, ya dig? And there are a looot of exceptionally skilled Mexican laborers. The last thing we need in Alabama is MORE poor people who can't speak English, as the natives are killing us, but illegal immigration was NOT a pressing issue. The Hispanic folks around here DEFINITELY kept to themselves (wouldn't you?) raised their kids and paid cash for everything. That was it. But they have VANISHED and it is weird. This has fucked shit up, specially in the tornado ravaged rebuilding areas, and obvs in the ag fields. Luckily, a lot of the types of people that laws like this are usually made for are being affected, and they know this is bullshit. Hell, the fucking sheriff here wrote an editorial about how wrong this was…tis not a popular law, even with the 'necks. It just ain't.

    • miss_grundy

      Hopefully, the Rednecks in 'Bama are learning the hard way, that most illegal aliens are decent people who work in jobs that Americans do not want to do. Of course they are going to want to keep to themselves, they are probably terrified that Whitey will sic La Migra on them, or will visit their neighborhood dressed in bedsheets and pillowcases and burn the place down. I'm sure the businesses that profited from being paid in cash are crying their eyes out now. So has a repeal movement started already????

      • FakaktaSouth

        Yes. Repealing this law has actually brought some strange partnerships, as the Christers and the Dems (we have those too!) are fighting together to change this law the hardest. Since the law also prevents anyone from providing food, transportation or shelter for an illegal under penalty, the churches are PISSED, and the Dems just hate it on principle.
        ALso, when I talk about the labor these people provide, I don't mean it simply in the demeaning "doing jobs whitey won't do." In a lot of cases, the people we have lost are SKILLED – being a carpentry master is impressive, and for example, laying tile properly (and artistically) is a high paying job that takes a level of experience and ability that you LEARN, on purpose. Not just anybody CAN do this, so ya know, we screw ourselves out of this too.
        This law is pure politics, and I know it is fun and easy to laugh and point and jeer, but shit's changing, and people are changing and for every asshole, there's now a person with a brain. You are reading stuff written by one now, and I have been here almost all my life, so it's not impossible.
        AND 26% of the people who live here are black, so statistically there are other voices that are being heard more than ever before – thanks black President! (I say this because a lot of people I know are more interested in a political process they feel includes them now more than ever before.)

        • When you talk about skilled labor that migrants are doing, it makes you wonder why poor blacks and whites can't get their shit together to the extent that a guy who sneaks across the border can — all the cliches about sticking together as families, pooling resources, and leveraging the next gen up. (OK, pillory me for sounding like a conservative droning ignorantly about "bootstraps".) Maybe the Mexicans should organize adult education courses for dumb gringos on how to properly plate a shit sandwich.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I know. When I start talking about my admiration for people who have been able to do things and come from circumstances I can't understand, I get a little conservatarded sounding too – OH, they have such feelings of family responsibility and without any help from the government (or when government is to your detriment) and look at what they are able to do in spite of their poverty…blah blah. I think it comes down to culture. And yeah, I hate to say it, but in "general" our poor trailer dwellers aren't as bad off as Mexico's poor (from what I've seen – and what I saw in Mexico haunts me til now). So I think that sometimes perspective is something that can also drive you. (living in a tiny apartment with your extended family in 'merica isn't the same as living in a hovel with no actual roof in a rain forest) AND THAT IS WHY I BELIEVE IN THE GOD DAMNED GOVERNMENT AND THE COLLECTIVE PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO DO THINGS BETTER. Ahem. If you know what I mean.

          • Nothingisamiss

            Amen, fellow sister in the south!!! AMEN!! The thing is, though, I get all riled up and happy like when I hear you, but I'm telling you I work in a fucked up place (GA 'burbs) where this stuff is NOT TALKED ABOUT. I'm a foolish libtard, and even though the farmers themselves are protesting here, I don't see any south GA Dem wins in our future. It is so fucking scary. The poor whites I work with and the rich whites that are collegues are too fucking brainwashed to listen to reason. The hispanics I work with are all legal, but won't talk about these subjects…and God knows that the new voter ID laws will strip out any voting power we may have gained through the last cycle. (Not feeling optimistic today.)

          • FakaktaSouth

            It is easy to get down about all of it. Have you ever noticed that a lot of the time tho, when you do talk to a person who would vote republican that you also find they know very, very little about the specifics of any issue? That's the thing that always gets me. People spend so much time trying to figure out why anyone would believe these things and it almost ALWAYS comes from "not knowing." Color me just shocked SHOCKED!!! that 51% of Rs wouldn't know what GOP even stood for. They are the least politically engaged group around, they just "feel" certain ways, and that's that. No active cause and effect, no real understanding of policy, just sound bite knowledge at best (worst). Ignorance on any level is always the problem. Kinda like how I've basically been told that I am a cracker who should starve to death by people who have never met me or been to Alabama on this here post because they've heard some shitty things come out of where I live, so, ya know, if you DON'T know the specifics it's easier to group folks you don't like together and watch em suffer. (whether it's black people, immigrants, or the oft maligned southern liberals.) Human nature I suppose.

  • As much as the TP'ers would like to erase the illegal immigrants, the fact is they come here for work, usually a particular kind of work. In other words, the market as spoken. And it says we need those people. And when you think about it, borders and citizenship are a just a bunch of government regulations. Your move, TP'ers.

  • WhatTheHeck

    O senorita Anna, don’t you cry for me
    I came from Alabamy with a gringo on my knee
    (gringos need help).

  • El Pinche

    We the Mescans will leave and wait until America rots and withers away. We'll wait until the last fat Koch fucko keels over into his own bile he's been eating for months since all the corn dogs disappeared. We'll come back and jam all the honkey carcasses into our handy wood chippers, cut the overgrown vegetation, and take Travis' jet skis for a spin on the empty lake. We'll turn all the Home Depots into discotecas and dance halls. Keep it up America. Everything is going as planned.

    • Negropolis

      I hear the Canadians are massing on the northern border, too. More seriously, Canadians have been buying up empty land in Detroit (a third of the city is either abandoned or cleared) like crazy. I can only guess that this is for the Great Canadian Colonization of Michigan of 2020. And, I, for one, welcome our passive-aggressive, Northern, maple-swilling overlords.

      • That will be some fish-out-of-water sitcom!

      • Nothingisamiss

        I'm ready for the cold if I can get me some sweet, sweet Canadian….sweetness. (And healthcare. And a queen on some paper money.[right?!] And French lessons.)

    • PeaceLoverzzz

      Yeah, the day America resembles our shit hole of a neighbor to the South. That will be such a great day! You can only fix wood chippers with bailing wire and duct tape for so long… Then who will you call to fix it?? Oh, that's right… Only possessing skills of a cave man will only get so far.

  • user-of-owls

    A Day Without Marinara.

  • salt_bagel

    Shucks! I voted for an asshole who said he would be an asshole, and now he's being an asshole!

    • glamourdammerung

      Exactly. Funny for them to see how awesome policies motivated entirely from spite work out.

  • While I feel bad for farmers who didn't have nothing to do with this horrible and inhumane law, yet I kinda think it is a good thing for Alabama folk to feel the consequences of their fearmongering ways, because obviously rational common sense escapes them jettisoning teaching moments way over their heads.

    So where are all the gringos lining up for a job picking tomatoes now that migrants are gone? Oh, I thought so.

  • salt_bagel

    The legislature saw this coming, and so they added a clause that permitted octoroons to stay. They just didn't realize that category hasn't been on the census since 1890.

    • emmelemm

      True story: I really enjoy the words "quadroon" and "octoroon". There's just something so absurd about them.

      • Negropolis

        They sound like names for quaint, delicious cookies, don't they?

        • HistoriCat

          "Octoroons – my favorite!"

          Yeah – you're right. Sounds like a cookie for special occasions. Damn, now I want to make some Christmas cookies.

        • Macacaroons?

          • Nothingisamiss

            For the cookie-racist-southern meme win.

          • emmelemm


        • Nothingisamiss

          Are they not? Shit, my bake sale item was totally mislabled.

        • emmelemm

          They do! My best friend is half black, half white, and she has a white husband. They have a two-year-old, and he's a quadroon!!! Quadroon quadroon quadroon. So adorable!

  • Barrelhse

    The article actually says "pick a bucket full of tomatoes", not "pick UP a bucket.."
    Not that the racist little fuck is any less of a thick, smelly discharge- just putting the facts out there.

  • fuflans

    i see another republican job creator is just creatin them jobs.

  • Eve8Apples

    Just wait 'til the lazy 'Bama gringos have to mow their own lawns, clean up after themselves and build their own homes.

  • Seems to me like the migrants are the one who've gone Galt.

  • I will never ever eat an Alabama Tomato again (cause I won't be able to)!

  • coolhandnuke

    …….After talking with famers at the tomato shed, Beason visited the Smith family’s farm. Leroy Smith, Chad Smith’s father, challenged the senator to pick a bucket full of tomatoes and experience the labor-intensive work…..

    Beason refused to accept Smiths' challenge on the grounds that he would only lift a bucket of tomatoes if it was three fifths full.

  • Antispandex

    You know what might work? One of those giant tomato throwing festivals like the have in Spain, or Italy, or whatever. Then you could get lots of tourists showing up. No, wait…DAMMIT, it would be in Alabama, and who's going to go there?

  • Naked_Bunny

    Can't the farmers just hire MBAs for cheap? We have a glut of those unskilled laborers.

    Oh wait…laborers. Never mind.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Freude, meet Schaden (yet again),

  • Negropolis

    Tomato farmers got together to protest these vicious dingus laws…

    And yet this farmers voted for these fuckers, and will continue to vote for Republicans. I'm sorry; I just don't care what farmers think or do if they aren't going to be intellectually honest with themselves, their workers, and their fellow citizens.

    Reap what you sow, motherfuckers; reap what you sow and like it.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Hey baby, you would LOVE me if you met me, I promise…and remember, we got tons of active black farmers, dem farmers and just plain smart farmers (some are all three!) in Ala-damn-bama that would NEVER have voted for Bentley or any of the motherfuckers who did this. So you can feel okay about caring about them. And I fucking love tomatoes, Hispanics, Black People, hell – any Smart People in general, so feel bad for me if no one else, okay?

      • Well I, for one, appreciate having your perspective on the real Deep South. Fakakta, living there so we don't have to!

        • FakaktaSouth

          You got it, man, 'tis my cross to bear…and sometimes it is a heavy, heavy load. But it makes me appreciate the smarties I encounter so so so much. And we drink, work out, and wonkette our way thru the rest…love.

          • Nothingisamiss

            It's true that meeting a fellow liberal in the south is a cause for much celebration. Rosh Hashanna got lively this year when we all discovered that we were around smart people who hated teabaggers.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I wish I knew one single Jewish person to celebrate anything with. Such a religiously homogenized bunch of boring Christians around here…

      • Negropolis

        I appreciate you, but "tons" is simply not accurate. It wouldn't even be accurate here up north. Folks like you are precious gems; you are found few and far between.

  • guangho

    Dear White Anglo-Saxon Protestants of the United States of America,
    You have never performed a day of manual labor in your lives since getting off the good ship Mayflower. Don't fool yourselves into thinking that you'll start now.

  • owhatever

    Wake up, little home schoolers! Today, we go out in the fields for twelve hours and help Farmer Jones pick tomatoes all day in the hot sun. Then we will have church meeting time when a Republican man will tell us why Mexicans are evil, then we sleep and dream, and get up before dawn and pick more tomatoes. We will do this for the rest of the semester, until they all are picked! Your little brothers and sisters can help, too. It's a wonderful day in Alabama. Praise de Lawd.

  • Who is the Continuity Girl on this production?! Would SOMEBODY get Ms. Johnson a latte, and a tear-sheet of what she wrote in June, so she doesn't look like she has early-onset Alzheimers?!

    You two "Wonkette Jrs" over there – you're fired. Just on general principle.

  • Oh, don't make those "oppressed family farmer" goo-goo eyes at us, Bammy crackers. We know who you vote for, so wallow in the sty you made.

  • White Americans, what? Nothing better to do?
    Why don't you kick yourself out? You're an immigrant too!
    Who's usin' who? What should we do?
    Well you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too!

    • Nothingisamiss

      Could you work this into a Dr. Seuss book for me? I swear to God I'll love you forever. (In a wholly literary way, I'm afraid. Mr. Amiss being my true love and all.)

      Tom Tomorrow may be able to do some illustrations that'd go along nicely. Oh, please?

  • The difference between the Mexicans and the Americans is that the Mexicans already understand that they're serfs, at best.

  • ttommyunger

    Reminds me of a fighter named Spinks. Seems he couldn't stay out of jail long enough to stay in shape for his bouts. Lots of natural skill and talent but as he famously said of himself: "I just can't help fucking myself!"

  • Hey, 'Bama, thank god you don't need Messicans to pick cheese doodles …

  • Dumbedup

    Consistent with our national death spiral, we now pick on that one group in this country willing to do back breaking work for little money, and who are not yet fat. Who voted these guys in, will someone answer that one for me?

  • nonbeliever7

    Tea baggers never learned none of that elitist cause and effect stuff.

  • Sassomatic

    White people are only willing to pick fruit when they pay for the privilege.

    • Columbus1011

      So true. now they need to reap what they sow…not to many supervisors needed in the fields.

  • Plowmon

    It's not just the tomato-pickin' Mesicans that have run off, them chicken-packin' Mesicans have run off too so there's gonna be a fried chicken shortage soon. But don't worry, us Alabamians will suck them jobs up just as soon as the last welfare check provided Loritabs and Natural Light is all gone and/or we make bail. Do they still garnish pay for back child support if ya gotta get a straight job? That god-damned bitch…

    • Columbus1011

      Want a govner job i hear an opening is in the works for the near future..or was that a state senators job..any some politicos job.

  • Brittanicus

    Pay Farm labor a decent living wage, with health care and education for their family, instead of dumping the illegal labor costs on the taxpayer. Then you will find people desperate for a job, any job will come forward to work the fields. Farmers and giant agricultural consortium’s have been underpaying illegal labor forever and along with all the special subsidies, the same as most business owners. It has been proofed that it only cost a few more cents to the consumer, for vegetable and fruit if labor for the agrarian community pay fair wages for the work done. My grandfather picked apples in Washington State as did other family members. To make ends meet after World War Two, my distant relatives in the English countryside, picked strawberries for the local farmers. Make it a national policy to implement the E-Verify bill (H.R. 2885), identifiable as the “Legal Workforce Act”. Contact your own local Senator or Representative and insist as a voter to your federal politician at 202-224-3121.

    Learn the facts about illegal alien costs, statistics and business corruption at NumbersUSA, Judicial Watch and American Patrol. Make every Business, Company and workplace be committed to E-Verify or face harsh consequences. No business owner, no matter who he is, should think he is above the law. That also is a constant with political figures who own grape plantations in the bread basket of central California. This is not just for Farmers and agriculture but for every business owner, so that we can put every American worker in a job and stop catering to other counties impoverished. Go further and re-enact the "Bracero Project" of 1942 with rules and regulations, arranged so migrants from across the Southern border have easier access to specific jobs. The “Bracero Program” established why the plan proved immeasurably accepted among so many migrants, for whom seasonal labor in the US presented grand opportunities, despite some of the poor conditions they often were confronted with in the fields and camps.

    Even under some poor situations they saved money, could buy consumer good, tools or an older vehicle, and returned home with new outlooks and a greater sense of self-respect. In places as Mexico counselors studied these positive economic and cultural effects of bracer project. If they are retained for employment the government must oversee they are treated correctly. They have to be issued a field workers visa that terminates at the end of harvesting and a mandatory return to their own country. Only through an employment office at entry ports can these people be hired and not through third parties or recruited by less than honest business enterprises. If they remain free of any major problems while employed in the U.S., they can renew their visas. As in Mexico—every person is tracked; all the farm and agricultural workers must be tracked, so they cannot decide to drop the job they are allocated to and disappear in the American job market. The "Bracero program" seemed to work very well, until it was dismantled in 1964. Through unfettered fraud millions of illegal aliens and their families have arrived here, after the 1986 Immigration Immigration Reform and Control Act (IRCA)

    Eventually there was an increasing apprehension among businesses owners that the provisions within the guide lines of the program ensured the amplification of costs for the imported labor. This fair program mandated an assured level of wages, housing, food and medical care for the workers (to be paid for by the employers) that kept the standard of living above what many from across the border. Farmers and their associated Agrarian colleagues realized they could elevate their profits, by enjoying the extremely hard work in the fields, by hiring illegal aliens who are now exploited. Agriculture didn’t want to pay for the health care or schooling for their children and other benefits, as in the orderly federal “Bracero program.” They prefer the Taxpayers carry the weight of costs for the labor that they hire. Farmers already receive huge subsidies from the U.S. Government.

    A new fair migrant worker program will never, ever be possible under the entrenched GOP establishment and many in the Democratic ranks. Many politicians have their own revenues in the illegal alien labor market. Only the TEA PARTY will stop the pollution that emanates from Washington and the Congress.

    • Columbus1011

      Sounds good on paper,now pass the salsa.

    • Guppy06


    • Plowmon

      Sure Professor, Americans will pick that fruit and it'll only cost a few cents more at the store, illegals will have '…returned home with new outlooks and a greater sense of self-respect.", the Tea Party will save the Nation and Maryanne, Ginger and Mrs. Howell will have a three-way ass-licking by the lagoon at midnight…

  • Columbus1011

    Ala-bama now you must reap what you sow……or import.

  • PeaceLoverzzz

    Who cares about the produce? I'm sure the costs will be minimal compared to the raping of America all those illegals are doing. Don't come here and screw up our country while fleeing your already screwed up countries. Ungrateful sycophants… Just because you couldn't amount to anything in your country doesn't mean you can come here and do the same. Bunch of racist, ungrateful illegals…

  • Useful_Idiots

    Not strict enough! Compared to Mexico's Immigration Laws

  • yhtmstr

    $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare
    to illegal aliens each year by state governments.

    $22 Billion dollars a year is spent on food
    assistance programs such as food stamps,
    WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.

    $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on
    Medicaid for illegal aliens.

    $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on
    primary and secondary school education
    for children here illegally and they
    cannot speak a word of English!

    $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for
    education for the American-born
    children of illegal aliens, known as
    anchor babies.

    $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to
    incarcerate illegal aliens or $1,095,000,000.00 a year.

    30% percent of all Federal Prison
    inmates are illegal aliens.

    $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on
    services by the American taxpayers.

    $200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed
    American wages are caused by the illegal
    aliens. Where are the unions on this one?

    In 2006, illegal aliens sent home
    $45 BILLION in remittances to their
    countries of origin.

    The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration:
    Nearly One million sex crimes committed
    by Illegal Immigrants In The United States .

    $ 338,300,000,000.00 WHICH

    I think the nation should follow Alabama's lead. Shame on the current administration. With around 20% of Americans at a poverty level we need as a nation to take care of our own first!!!

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