The illiterate twatmonsters of the Tea Party leadership hereby order Americans everywhere to boycott their sacred Monday Night Football viewing ritual until ESPN un-fires their beloved jizz sock Hank Williams Jr. for calling Obama a Hitler on the teevee. Oh, and scientifically provable idiot Tea Party Nation president Judson Phillips also orders the state of Tennessee to elect the jizz sock Redneck Emperor of their state, just to stick it to godless corporate Marxist Mickey Mouse, who should be set on fire. Also, everyone start eating their own poop for breakfast. So many demands!
Here’s lunatic ball Phillips ranting out his orders:
No Hank, no Monday Night Football, ESPN, owned by far left leaning Disney struck back at Hank Williams today, taking his trademark, “Are you ready for some football?” song off fo [sic] the opening of Monday night football.
Why? Williams dared to insult Disney darling Obama.
…
As much as I love sports, I have just about had it with ESPN. Until Hank Williams is brought back to sing the intro to MNF, I won’t watch it and I encourage everyone else to turn off MNF.
Hank Williams, Jr. is rumored to be thinking about running for the US Senate in Tennessee. As a Tennessean, all I can say is, “Run Hank Run!”
{ 226 comments }
Disney? Far LEFT-leaning?
Do these people know that words have meaning?
1. Words are meaningless, and forgettable.
2. Yes, Disney = left-leaning = today is opposite day?
Walt Disney loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world.
Therefore he was left-leaning.
Except for the Jews of course.
And union members.
I don't recall him being so terribly fond of Teh Culludz, either.
And words, like violence, break the silence.
Very unnecessary – they can only do harm.
dah dah-dah. . .
dah dah-dah. . .
dah dah-dah. . .
dah dah-dah. . .
I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but…
enjoy the silence. if only they would shut up long off for that to happen.
No. They don't.
This is totally uncalled for, as Mikey renounced communisim back in 1954 before the HUAC, and gave up Clarabelle the Cow so that he could walk free.
What was suspicious about Clarabelle was that she gave to each, according to their needs.
Word Libel!!1!!1
Words! How the fuck do they work?
Words work very well; the fucklodytes that use words don't work.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."
Ah, now you're just invoking some of those high-falutin' portmanteau words!
"Portmanteau"??!?! Sounds French. Why don't you go watch some American football, you filthy un-American commie frog.
Watch it, ntD, or I'm'a come over yo' house and make y'all eat some Freedom Fries! Yah! For the Lard!
NTD: Are you sure that wasn't the Cheshire Cat? Or Daffy Duck?
I refudiate your suggestion. Let's not get into a squirmish about it.
This is the conundrum the GOP now finds itself in, in a nutshell. When a multinational conglomerate empire machine decides that maybe having one of its contractors going around talkin' 'bout Hitler to the dullards on "Fox & Friends" is bad for their general image andt the Teabag Nation descends on them like the pack of vicious, snapping monsters they are, you know you've got a problem as a Republican. I'd like to see some of these fuckers have the balls to admit it.
Actually, I think that's been David Frum's basic theme for the past several months (after he was a victim of it, natch).
That's true, I forgot about Frum. I heard him talk about themes touching on this in – of all places – "Point of Inquiry," a skeptic/atheist podcast.
Here's my funny left-wing Disney story: When I worked for the airlines and my family and friends could fly anywhere basically for free, my wife decided to take my six-year old daughter and her 6-year-old Catholic school friend (from a very Catholic family) to Disneyland for a couple of days, and when we stopped by their house to invite the kid on the trip, he said he didn't want to go.
Why? "Disney kills babies."
(Apparently, Disney has donated money to Planned Parenthood in the past.)
I think I just had an aneurysm.
Huh. News to me. I know that Disney usually kills the mothers off, but that's only in fairytales.
I would have found it impossible not to reply: "Only the inconvenient ones".
Well, they DO allow domestic partner benefits. You know – teh geyhz.
Holy shit, WHAAA??! Gays have domesticated partners like people? I don't know what this means for my own marriage, but now I'm totally freaked out. Shit, I hope society isn't destroyed.
(What? This happened many years ago and nothing terrifying happened? Oh.)
Maybe they'll go play with themselves, and leave the rest of us alone.
I suspect they've been playing w/ their own teabags for a long, long time.
Why didn't they complain when Joe Theisman was part of the crew?
I mean, Hank Williams, Jr. is right up there with Vince Lombardi. How was the game ever played or watched without that intro song. Send him to NASCAR.
Tea Baggers are probably still all ragey about Howard Cosell getting fired from MNF for calling Alvin Garrett a "little monkey".
"Look at that little monkey run, Dandy Don!"
Cue Jimmy the Greek – something about Black swimmers and other Black athletes lacking the necessities – it's hazy after all these years and it's too early in the morning to Google it.
i'm still waiting for the whites-only basketball league. dribble – bounce pass – layup – SHOWTIME!
What do you have against a more fundamentals oriented style of playing basketball?
I think you'd find this video pretty funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcVEDCqKNz0
We already have that. It's called the WNBA.
White National Basketball Association?
Can't say I'm familiar with the league, when do they play?
"THIS GUY is a no-talent racist hilljack," MNF's John Gruden.
Oh hell no! If I stopped watching football I would just look foolish drinking that early on a Sunday morning and eating spicy Mexican food. Hank can kiss my tailgate.
Are you kidding me? I will stop watching Monday Night Football when you pry the remote from my cold, dead hands!
If they are going to go after active duty soldiers, the uninsured, the middle-class and now football, what will be left of the America they are ostensibly protecting from Obama?
I thought "Left Leaning" Disney was on ice at DisneyWorld.
skating in circles, the poor guy.
win.
Left leaning? Did his machine tip?
No Hank, no Monday Night Football
No Woman, No Cry!
"Disney darling Obama"
Also the president of the United States, but only sochilaists would accept that nazi lie.
I guess it means nothing to the Teabag nation that Fox 'n' Fiends were also disgusted with Hank Williams Jr's pigheaded drunken rant.
Disgusting the Fn'F crew is like the old saying about a smell that would knock a buzzard off a manure wagon.
Far left-leaning Disney? Really? REALLY??? They didn't fire him for insulting Obama, but for comparing him to Hitler, retards; sort of like how, when they fired Rush Limbaugh (who "far left leaning" Disney thought it was a good idea to hire as a football commentator) it was because he made openly racist comments about Donovan McNabb. Some things are just a little beyond the pale, and keeping either one of them on would be bad PR.
Disney is as far right as every other mega-corporation; hell, they even have their evening news anchored by a woman who got her start as one of Nixon's flacks.
From where the T'baggers sit, being mildly offended by racism IS so far left they can't see it.
I wonder how Rush Limbaugh's lawsuits are going? He said he was going to start suing people that called him a racist.
Didn't he also say he was going to leave America if health care reform passed or something?
He also said it was "somebody else's viagra" and "that Dominican boy looked over 17". He says a lot of things.
[urp] Threw up in my mouth a little.
I was confused with the 'disney darlings' comment, then realized Pocahontas, Jasmine, Bambi + Obamz are all 'characters' they would probably like to shoot.
Don't forget Mulan and her Communist hordes.
But they love animated Anastasia, 'cause she really stuck it to those Bolsheviks.
Ariel to appear on Hillbilly Hand-Fishing?
Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top and the lady part on the bottom?
One can only imagine the cognitive dissonance going on in the teabagger's heads: "Quit watchin' football?!? That and gettin' drunk are the only things I kin do to git away from the meth-head wife and the obese diabetes-children!"
They do have a tendency to get roaring drunk and beat the shit out of the hapless wife and chilluns, so maybe this is a *good* thing?
Americans Stop Watching Football
Right…just when my fucking hopeless Lions start winning!!
The Lions and the Bills, it's been a wild start for the football season and I can't wait to see what happens next.
And they are playing next Monday night. Enjoy violating the boycott!
MNF – Mighty Numb Fuckers.
Are you ready for some NASCAR!?
A drive around in circles for 4 hours Party!
Yep…nothing spells fun for me like watching a 200mph billboard for Viagra going 'round and 'round and 'round…
The resulting dizziness helps suppress critical thinking in lower life forms.
NASCAR is actually part of my living will.
I've told my wife if I ever get to the point where I don't understand "left turn, left turn, left turn…", pull the fucking plug.
Hank Williams, Jr. is rumored to be thinking about running for the US Senate in Tennessee. As a Tennessean, all I can say is, “Run Hank Run!”
I couldn't agree more, Judson, especially if by "Run Hank Run" you mean "directly into the path of a speeding semi on WB I-40."
I'll vote for him, just to see what happens when you send a perpetually plastered rock n' roll junkie/alcoholic, trailing a busload of tripping spandex-clad groupies and Satan-worshipping roadies, through a state house full of overweight, big-haired, sexually repressed Christian wingnuts. Could be awesome!
Or pull out your eyeballs horrifying. But interesting either way!
When you put it that way, friendly …
Or off a 422 ft. cliff…
Think of all the jobs a football games generates: vendors, security, parking, cheerleaders, restaurants, paper products, etc. All these people should be shut the fuck down to appease some redneck, aunt-fucking wannabe? I don't THINK so.
Aunt-fucking?
I don't think he's an "uncle fucker", is he? Most rednecks are.
Don't forget the officials, media, local governments trying to squeeze out enough revenue to pay off the bonds for the monster stadium…
Really, teabaggers, if you love Hank Williams Jr. so much why don't you follow his example and run off the side of a mountain?
Or drive your scooter over a cliff — either way is fine with us.
Get a grip, T-haters. Most folks don't know they fired him from the Opry, too — or was that the first Hank. . . I heard it in that song! See? Hank Jr's just keepin' a family truh-dition ♪
Hank III is better.
If this were a liberal statement from a liberal celeb would the teabaggers howl as loudly about how the personality should be listened to and not censored????
I wonder……………
Dixie Chicks ring a bell?
At the very least, no more federal funding for ESPN.
THIS! Needs more P.
Are you ready for some Hitler?
far left leaning Disney
Donald Duck is a communist ?
Well, he didn't wear pants.
Sanspantsinista!
One of the Sans-culottes! Heads will be rolling soon.
No, he's a Marine Drill Instructor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3woEDTUbDYg
See? You didn't know this till they toldja, did yuh?
I don't know about Donald Duck, but those Seven Dwarves were Wobblies for sure.
Slave labor libel! Them dwarves were slaves fair n square after Snow White job created them.
They have a point; it is always difficult to determine if one is ready for something without someone screaming the question, "ARE YOU READY FOR IT?"
Now this is an interesting matchup I for one am unwilling to speculate what Americans loves more the NFL or an alcoholic hillbilly prone to suicide attempts and strangling teenage waitress.
I don't know. What's the point spread on the hillbilly?
But, isn't that the point of America? You shouldn't have to choose between the two?
We must use conservative judo against ESPN and all those who have trashed the career of a great man and incredible songwriter like Hank Jr. The First Amendment not only guarantees freedom of speech, it has an implied guarantee that prohibits anyone from being fired who is dumb enough to actually try it.
I'm going to subscribe to ESPN just so I can cancel my subscription.
TeaPartyNation recommends we stop watching the un-American pastime of Football and instead catch some bocce, curling or cricket. Way to understand your key demographic there, Judson.
And Monday Night Football without that odious never-was fake-old-boy and his idiotic paean to weekly violence? That would be like Two and a Half Men without Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher, John Cryer, those other characters, the writers or the set, and replaced with an episode of PBS's Nature, preferably one about volcanoes or something with lots of slo-mo animal predation.
"Welcome to the wonderful world of snails and adventure as we board the Golden Hinde."
Boycott football? You just lost Wisconsin, Tea Party.
To be fair, Williams didn't say which one was supposed to be Hitler. He may have meant Boener was Hitler.
He did say that Obama and Biden were the enemy, so I see where you're coming from.
Is Vegas taking bets on the likelihood of Teabaggers actually turning off the teevee?
I don't think they could get any action on that one.
Let's see… the one thing I mute the fucking TV for during MNF is gone… since Dennis Miller left… and I am supposed to not watch now?
GTFO!
I'm boycotting their boycott.
Exactly. I don't watch Monday Night Football, but I think I'm going to start.
Mrs. weejee & I will have to peek in your window since we has none cable. Or go to the Latona for some dark brewskies.
Monday night football is best watched in your neighborhood pub, and they don't get much better than the Latona.
Agreed. Also the Mrs. & I likely will be heading up to Vancouver Island. Mayhaps we can stop by yer spot in PA in route. What is the name again? Thanks.
Hee! I live in a condo; it will be difficult for you to peek in my windows. But nothing is impossible!
Also, so, is "Monday Night Football" now on this ESPN thingy that requires you to have cable? Because the last time I watched something called "MNF", it was on ABC, for free.
If so, my plan is foiled.
Well then emmel yer in the same spot as Mrs. weejee and I since ESPN has Monday Night football and ESPN takes cable, I think.
Me too. I never owned any Dixie Chicks CD's until their particular boycott, either.
Always. Must say, Schweddy Balls is not B&J's most inspired flavor, flavor-wise, although the name remains all win. As long as they don't start calling for boycotts of beer (uber fundies notwithstanding), I'll fight the good symbolic fight. If they attack beer, that fight would be more in the torches and pitchforks realm.
Some asshole got his song pulled from a show because he said some asshole things on national teevee. But don't worry, some other assholes are going to quit watching the show until they put the first asshole's music back on.
Whatever tickles your peach I guess. I'm just happy when I can use the word "asshole" four times in two sentences.
Wow. You just got to use it 4 times, and I just got to holler at a guy (loud enough for him to hear me) in the parking lot at work, "Don't be an asshole." That's a pretty weird coincidence. Like a plate of shrimp.
Wow. And I was just thinking about those assholes. And a plate of shrimp.
Disney darling Obama
That's funny coming from someone defending a human cartoon.
"Until Hank Williams is brought back to sing the intro to MNF, I won’t watch it and I encourage everyone else to turn off MNF."
I am now compelled to watch each and every MNF game. Never mind that my Steelers are dying off this year.
"As a Tennessean, all I can say is, “Run Hank Run!”"
As a Democrat, all I can say is "Run Hank Run!"
Your Steelers are dying?
I don't think my Seahawks are even allowed on MNF anymore, due to general suckiness and nationwide apathy.
Stop watching football?, that would be like asking us to stop eating Arugula.
meh. I don't watch MNF anyhoo. But I would watch a show called Illiterate Twatmonsters of the Tea Party.
oh wait… that's already on and starring Eric Cantor, John Boehner, One L Michele, Lou Sarah, and cast of thousands of illiterate Xtian fundi do-nothings.
Is that on HBO? No? CSPAN? oh, ok
I just checked Hank's website, looking for venues he will be playing and it shows:
Hank is not currently on tour.
Was he ever?
Heard that he plays at some at some of the I-55 rest stops.
Does the glory hole count as a show date?
Didn't he play at the Dew Drop Inn in the early '80's?
I saw him at the Navy Base in Yokosuka Japan when I was in the service. But that was in, like, 1983. And it was free. But I left early so I could go drink some Hoppy beer and get a blowjob out on the Honch. Do I really regret it? No.
I think if any man were offered the choice between a blow job and a Hank Jr. concert, and picked the concert, you should regard him thereafter with the hairiest of eyeballs.
It is so nice to see some people get their priorities straight for a change.
*Salute*
Now that's a Great Navy Day
Stop watching football? Yeah right, maybe they ought to ask America to stop jerking off too…would work about as well.
However, that is why I only use porn that refers to Obama as Hitler.
A vision of Hank Jr would stop my jerking off most hurriedly.
It worked so well for O'Donnel.
Ha ha ha, yes, turn off football, I'm sure that would last a good 10 minutes.
Real 'murkins stop watching football? Yes, definitely, and snowballs are fairing as well in hell this season as the Bills are in the NFL.
Oh, this was just Hank's sly way of trying to get the Klan bloc on Obama's side! Hitler, hello! They LOVES them some Adolf in the Smokey Mountains.
The Hitler comment was just ignorant. I think the bigger offense was that he called the US President "The Enemy". Therefore, Hank is a terrorist. No place for a terrorist on American football!
Us old farts can't stay up that late anyway!
You LOOK so YOUNG!
Fuck…this means that I will have to start watching football again! Does the English Premier League count?
Oh yes it does indeed.
If ya like 'em in short pants.
All my hooligan friends are comin' over tonight!
I'm happy to lend my support to the Tea Party boycott of professional football. This is a half time show I don't want to miss.
If Hank Williams Junior is elected to the Senate, will he be able to wear his shades and hat in the Senate Chamber? He'll probably want to be on Foreign Relations because he will think it is about cousin sex outside the U.S.
There's thousands of reasons to boycott ESPN but this sure ain't one of them.
The continued presence of Craig James, for instance.
And Lou Holtz. Can't stand Lou Holtz.
I pretty much can't stand anyone on there save Neil Everett because you can just tell he's a groovy dude that smokes a lot of grass.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BUTTHURT!!
You've been watching those little Korean kids play Poopfinger, haven't you?
I'm glad to see the Tea Baggers are supporting country music singers who say stuff about presidents. I love the Dixie Chicks, too.
If Disney had a hair they'd hire the Dixie Chicks to do a new intro based on "Not Ready to Make Nice."
♫ ♬ it's a small-minded world, after all,
it's a small-minded world, after all.
It's a small-mnded world. ♫ ♬
I forgot that there still was a Monday Night Football, so score a point for ESPN (though they should really thank Hank Jr for reminding people of its existence).
(edit) the internets tell me that the current MNF broadcast team consists of Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, and Jon Gruden. Shades of Cosell and Dandy Don, are we come to this?
Let's see: Obama is in favor of raising taxes on corporations and the rich back to the same levels they were at in the 90s, and far lower then they have been for most of the history of the income tax. He also believes that we should make sure everyone has health care, and that their is a social safety net. Obama = anti-American Socialist.
The 'baggers believe that you should be able to call Obama Hitler without any consequence, and that Americans should not watch football. Tea Party = True American Patriots.
It is so clear now.
Why do Teabaggers hate US Americuh?
Only commies hate footbawl!
…1
Right on schedule!
Fucking Innanity is playing the whole Randall MNF song. What a dick.
Also, the meta stupid part of Randall's comments is his abject show of intolerant teabaggism. Even if you give him Hitler and Netanyahu playing golf, his worse point is that the Repugs should NEVER cooperate with socialist libs (or whatever.) What an ignorant, bigoted, ultra-extremist view.
The day the teabaggers implode is the day a black man wins the NASCAR championship.
I remember as a youngster hoping for Wendell Scott to win at NASCAR. He only ever won one race, though, when I was very wee and don't remember that.
Pretty much got NHRA sewed up.
I'll bet ESPN is worried.
They were probably just waiting for a reason to jettison that stupid looking, talent-starved asshat in a cowboy hat (sorry for the redundancy).
This whole football thing reminds me of one of the small victories us libtards have had in the last few years. Remember when blubber, blather, Percodoodle Russ didn't get his way and he was ostracized by the NFL owners? He didn't get to buy a football team. That was fucking great. I'm telling you he whined like a three year old. hahahaha, Russ.
I don't understand anything whatsoever about Pointy Ball, but I am willing to turn on the upstairs back room teevee to MNF and let it yammer away until we can all forget about this dolt and his doltish fan club.
Well, since Judson hopped on the birther train a few months back, this is probably going to go the same place as his other plans.
I'm going to be all road-fucked on Monday, having driven back from a weekend in the Big Bend area, and had figured on taking a miss on the Monday night game. But not now.
Is this some sort of racist Goofy joke?
But Disney loved Hitler!
Oh sure, like the conservatives are going to voluntarily stop watching a bunch of athletic, muscular men in tight uniform pants groping and tackling and piling on each other for three hours.
Firing that stupid shit, means I will watch more.
You know, I don't typically watch the football, what with all the latent homosexuality, but perhaps I'll skip watching my Sex and the City blowrays and give it a shot, just out of principle.
What does Sarah Palin, who named her eldest Bristol in honor of the headquarters of ESPN and not for the Cockney rhyming slang meaning, think about this?
Early reports quote Governor Quittygirl as saying "T!"
Yahoo!
The last time I saw Hank Williams, Jr., he was pissing in the middle of the street in front of the Nashville Convention Center during a country music radio conference.
Let's have him do that on Monday Night Football too.
He was squatting, though, right?
No, he was laying on his back.
I am sure glad that Judson and friends agree that the nonsense about the Dixie Chicks was clearly out of line. Otherwise, they would be total hypocrites.
You know who else was just like Hitler?
Randall "Hank" Hitler Jr.?
Please do not create circular arguments on Wonkette. It is against your terms of service.
Um … Stalin?
Charlie Chaplain!
Jezus Christ. I'm afraid to ask if they CAN get any stupider, because I just know they will, just to piss me off.
i never thought i would say this: but go, disney, go!
and baggers, you have no reason to know this as you know pretty much nothing, but disney lawyers make the haqqani network look wholesome.
This is all a setup by Rupert Murdoch — the English Premier League is on Fox and Fox Soccer Channel.
"beloved jizz sock Hank Williams, Jr."
Kirsten, it appears you've truly come over to the Dark Side. Have some cookies. And I pity your poor soul.
If he had said the same thing about Bush the same thing would have happened. Our nation's mega-news-corporation-conglomerates must be nice to their hirelings lest they get uppity and start regulating.
As a Tennessean
Who knew teabaggers play tennis?
You remember Tennis Ian, that earnest angster who sang "Society's Football."
Yeah, this will work.
I would think from the tea party point of view Hank was insulting Hitler.
I'd like to see ESPN replace Hank with the Dixie Chicks, just to ensure that some Tea Party heads actually explode with rage.
Sind Sie bereit für einige Fußball?
Well shit! Now where am I going to spend 4 hours watching some guys playing cards!?
I'm sure going to miss Spelling Bee.
I will not watch football again until they bring back that washed up has been inbred, racist , moron. Everybody knows football and backwoods , dick jerkin, White Trash, Tennesee ridge runnin monkeys go together like a hand and that scabbed over stick in your OshKosh Begoshes.
Finally, a Tea Party Dictate I can comply with: I never watched football on the teevee machine. Played it in HS and College, but watching it does nothing for me. Hank Williams? Love him. Hank Williams III? Love him. Junior? Just as the name implies, a stunted undeveloped and diminutive copy of the original.
Having worked with Disney some years ago, I would describe them not as "Far Left Leaning", but rather as the "Cheapest Company on Earth". You can be assured someone in finance ran the numbers before firing "Hank".
Now that Williams has kinda-sorta apologized for the remarks, will the baggers demand a boycott of Hank Williams Jr?
EDIT: A Yahoo News commenter who thinks that Obama is actually just like Hitler added "although it would be a good idea if we could some how do away with oboneheads welfare voting base that would save around 10 trillion per year!!!"
Just to rub salt in the wound, ESPN should hire the Dixie Chicks as Hank Jr.'s replacement.
I haven't watched Monday Night Football, or any other football in ten years, but what the hell, maybe I'll start watching MNF again just as a way to say "Up your ass, teabaggers!"
And the little Cuban children his head needs to keep alive.
And darkies too, also.
All I ever wanted – All I ever needed is here in my arms.
Your own personal Disney?
The Downtown Hotel. And the ferry to Victoria is right at the end of our block.
If you plan on booking a room, be sure to ask for your Wonketteers Discount ($10 off any room.) Otherwise you could just stop by and say hi. I'm the one answering the phone 8-5 weekdays and every other weekend. Still looking for second night manager, so I'm also working some weeknights that I'm not supposed to.
Laus, ur a job creator!
Thnx
Hold on — let me get my Freedom Tray so you can set those fries down.
Don't worry about the timing; I'm on lunch break.
however painful this stuff is, life is all about pain, and drinking doesn't take away the pain, it just numbs it.
I'm not even convinced that it numbs anything. It actually causes its own pain, while deferring whatever pain was already there. You end up with a pain backlog that just keeps getting harder and harder to deal with. As the motivational poster says, "if you can't find time to do it right, when will you find time to do it over?"
Isn't it ironic that the stairs will stop you from going out for help, but it won't stop you from going out for a drink?
I don't think there's that much effective difference between daily drinking and binge drinking. For me, it was both. If you can't control it, then the timescale or frequency is unimportant. You need to stop altogether. The inner monster will try to get you to rationalize why it should be okay, once in awhile, "I don't do it every day", etc etc. Don't accept these rationalizations. It can be really painful to admit to yourself that you don't have control. I cried a lot, about my own weakness. I would get extremely envious, particularly on Fridays after work, of people who could go to the bar or sit on their own patios, enjoying a drink. I couldn't do that anymore.
I talked with my therapist about the idea of "good drinking" (wine with dinner, a congratulatory toast, etc) versus "bad drinking" (everything else), and what a shame it was that bad drinking had ruined it for everybody, and now I couldn't even enjoy good drinking, when it was appropriate. Sadly, my brain/body cannot make that distinction anymore.
This is going to sound like a truism, but if you can avoid taking the first drink, then you don't have to worry about the next ones. The inner monster is going to try to convince you to take the first one. Your inability to control it is going to take over from there. I know. It sucks.
"The Big Book", as it is called, might have some wisdom for you (and try to forgive the inartful gender-language; it was written in 1939, before they knew better). You don't have to go to a meeting or subscribe to all (or any) of its tenets to be able to benefit from the experience of other people who have suffered similar problems. Check out chapters 2 and 3, in particular.
And don't hesistate to ask me. There's never a bad time for this. I am uploading you a big hug right now.
Wow! 75 lb of Anusburgers? I can haz?
One of my favorites!
You're a friend, and such kindness I hadn't looked to find. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate this.
Some background: for whatever reason, my brain chemistry only responds to certain very specific kinds of stimuli. I have an entire bottle of oxycontin in my possession, but it does nothing for me and never has (I got it for post-surgical pain), and once I realized that, I had no inclination whatsoever to continue taking it. The only reason it's still in my possession is, I can't remember where I put it, so I can't throw it away.
The same with most other painkillers. They make me sick but do nothing for the pain, so I don't take them. The only exceptions I have found so far are morphine, demerol, dilaudid, and percocet, and none of them make me feel so good that I would even think about taking them unless the pain was so bad that I could not think or move. I tend to deal with pain by reading/writing/watching films (I should probably exercise, instead, and get my own natural morphine-analog-producing factory working).
I never drank much until about a decade ago, except for one teenage period when I was packing away a bottle of vodka and one of kahlua each night. These days, I drink wine. It's the only thing that doesn't give me killer headaches. I got into attending AA for a while because my family is insane. They all *act* like they've been alcoholics all their lives, but AFAIK, most of them don't drink alcohol and never have. I'm very reluctant to seek out medical help at all because it all goes on your medical record and if the Republicans ever get back in power, there goes "Obamacare," and my medical insurance with it. I'm not worried about *controlling* my drinking, because it's past the point where I enjoy it any more. I used to love a fine glass of wine, sipping it, smelling it, enjoying its flavours and tastes and complexity. Now I just wonder how bad the hangover will be, and if I'll even realize that I've passed the point of enjoying it at all. I don't want to do it anymore. At all.
Thanks for the good words. They're all helping already. Srsly. I have no more urge to start drinking right now.
I'm reading the Big Book. Yes, it's very helpful. Thank you. I believe this round of the battle has been won.
And many thanks for the hug. Hugs back.
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