Proof he was once a human child, a few years ago.Middle-aged yuppie child Ezra Klein is exactly the sort of youth welcomed at the dying Washington Post. Permanently cautious and nervously polite, quick to distance himself from ancient youthful indiscretion of a couple of years ago, inherently middle of the road and steeped in the meaningless bullshit policy/punditry circle jerk of the era, Klein can be counted on to write in that special way nobody really uses to communicate, because it’s writing that is only written to please his elders at think tanks and in the Kaplan/WaPo board room. “Look at the little feller,” you might hear Richard Cohen mumbling to a wastebasket. “Why, he’s not so different from me, in the 1960s, when I was no doubt on the meekly impotent side of everything happening around me.” And now Ezra Klein has bravely (cautiously) made it clear that he very vaguely supports the concept of the masses being upset about something, even if they haven’t FedExed their position papers and enclosures via the proper channels. The kids are all right!

It’s not the arrests that convinced me that “Occupy Wall Street” was worth covering seriously.

Well what then, what was it? What shuddering insight finally convinced the likes of EZRA KLEIN that something could finally be covered “seriously”?

Nor was it their press strategy, which largely consisted of tweeting journalists to cover a small protest that couldn’t say what, exactly, it hoped to achieve.

Channels and decorum, folks, it’s all about the proper media contact strategy using the proper channels and decorum. Mess that up, and you’ve messed up the daily calendar of the very important people not yet laid off by the Washington Post.

It was a Tumblr called, “We Are The 99 Percent,” and all it’s doing is posting grainy pictures of people holding handwritten signs telling their stories, one after the other.

Tumblr? Is that how the youths are getting their porn now, on their Blackberry? Hhmmph, and such grainy pictures! Do they not have access to a top-notch photojournalism department like we do, here at the closed-down Washington Post suburban bureau?

These are not rants against the system. They’re not anarchist manifestos. They’re not calls for a revolution.

Relax, managing editor of online news! I’m not going to Crazyland! Nothing about guillotines and lining up the motherfuckers against the wall in my corporate blog! I also apologize for using an exclamation mark, in my mind.

Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent. If you’re in the 85th percentile, for instance, your household is making more than $100,000, and you’re probably doing okay. If you’re in the 95th percentile, your household is making more than $150,000.

Translation: “I am paid very well to paste in these statistics from various professional liberal organizations staffed by lifers who compile statistics. Let’s be quite clear that these Occupy Wall Street ruffians on the Tumblr do not have their statistics exactly correct.”

Fuck this guy. [Ezra Klein Washington Post blog]

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  • Wonkette Jr.for President!

    Nor was it their press strategy, which largely consisted of tweeting journalists to cover a small protest that couldn’t say what, exactly, it hoped to achieve.

    The official corporate press line. As dictated by the plutocrat-fellators of record scrotum, the NYT.

    Update: Since I can still edit this comment, here's a link from naked capitalism.

    What is wrong with you magical-thinkers? Why can’t you accept that political reality dictates that you not exist!

    And yet, there you are, complaining about inept policy blundering again, moaning about an obvious, overwhelming lack of positive economic results from our Consensus program for ordinary American voters.

  • memzilla

    Sounds like the bastard son of Peggy Nooningtonshire, but on better meds.

  • Barb

    Luke Russert is Better Than Ezra.

    • Damning with the faintest of praise?

      • Barb

        I love Luke! he's the son I always wanted to have.
        Wait, forget Luke! Sarah Palin's "The Undefeated" has been released on DVD. It was labeled "The Most Important Documentary of Our Lifetime" on Not even in the lifetime of a mayfly is this documentary important.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Tim Russert, on the other hand, is not as Good as Lazarus. Which is just as well, who needs a zombie Tim Russert?

    • Limeylizzie

      Agreed. Plus, now that he has dropped some weight, I would do him.

      • bureaucrap


      • chicken_thief

        With a spiky acid-tipped dick?!

  • Sue4466

    Other than obstructing the Obama administration, has the T'bag Party ever defined what they want to achieve? but yet we can't get the fuck away from stories about those assholes.

    • freakishlywrong


    • chascates

      They want to take back their country. From whom and to where they do not specify.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        From the Black, Kenyan, Muslim, Socialist. What part of their Hitler/Mandingo Posters did you not understand?

        • freakishlywrong

          Just the simple fact that "Hitler/Mandingo" has now formally entered the lexicon is indicative of how truly fucked we are.

      • chicken_thief

        I believe that would be from the commie soshuliss Negro, but even they recognize that it is wayyyy uncool to say that.

    • Cut spending on every program except the ones that benefit them.

  • Face it, when TWITTER supports Molatov Cocktails, we're all in trouble.

    • LiveToServeYa

      Make mine extra dirty.

      • Negropolis

        …and on the rocks. Speaking of rocks, someone mix me up a Palestinian Cocktail.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Isn't there an app for that?

  • I believe there is a shitty 90's band named after this douchebag.

    • mnotrtoo

      Searching for signs of life, but there's nobody home.

  • Maybe we can introduce Klein to a nice girl like Kortney over here —>

    • chascates

      She'll probably prefer a cucumber to any of Ezra's appendages.

  • boy_scientist

    Awww, aren't you being rough on the cute little fella'? (A: Not nearly rough enough.)

  • poorgradstudent

    "Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent."

    Fucking hyperboles, how do they work?

  • I don't know if I agree with this Ezra guy (is he even a real US Americun?) but I do agree with his opinion of Timmeh Russert.

    • He's right about Russert, but everything Wonkette, Jr. said is precisely right about Ezra Klein.

      If it wasn't so, the War Criminal Post would have already Froomkined his behind.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    In 2011, moral fiber is an exorbitant luxury. If you're lucky enough to be receiving a paycheck, you protect it by any means necessary.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nobody has enough moral fiber to insulate a sleeping bag, and that's what we're all going to be needing.

    • comrad_darkness

      Now that, sir, is a prophetic statement on our times that should be chiseled somewhere for posterity. Maybe on the tombstone of the U.S. of A. we will be erecting shortly.

    • HogeyeGrex

      And now you understand the whole point to the last forty years of movement conservatism.

      Feature, not bug.

  • Tommmcattt

    He's hawt in that "molest-a-librarian" way of which I am so fond. Stop picking on my boyfriend, mean Wonkette Jr.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You and I obviously read Wonkette Jr.'s opprobrium "Fuck this guy" way differently than it was intended.

  • neiltheblaze

    Yes, whereas the Teabaggers clearly stated goal is to take their country back from the nigra – therefore being worthy of non-stop, uncritical coverage.

  • freakishlywrong

    Jesus, what's next, what the definition of "eat the rich" is? is?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Let's be clear. They really aren't going to kill, cook, ingest, digest, and excrete the rich. They just want some of their cool stuff."

    • dr_giraud

      I prefer the old-school, Depression-era "soak the rich." Take all their fuckin' money and then let the golden showers commence.

  • Pragmatist2

    What I am waiting for is for someone to report on how all these protesters find a place to pee on Wall Street what with all the security in those buildings. I think this is what America is really interested in.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I'm guessing "into plastic Fiji bottles (guys) or buckets (gals) whilst behind bushes and then poured down the storm sewer grating."

    • comrad_darkness

      I was pondering this too as I was thinking of taking my aging body down there.

    • LesBontemps

      Fer crissakes, it's New York; you pee in the subway.

  • BarackMyWorld

    To be fair, poor people don't read the Washington Post. Of course, neither does anyone else, but still…

  • bumfug

    Let's see…they use Macs, so they're hypocrites for having tools created by corporations but they don't have a corporate structure or powerpoint presentations so how can they be taken seriously. They're somehow magic because although there are only a couple hundred of them, somehow there can 700 arrests and yet still have people left in the streets. Fuck the reporting on this in the "serious" media.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      By the time we got to Wallstock, we were half a million strong.

    • Radiodead

      Heard this shit on RW radio yesterday. The protesters are totally anti-capitalist, anti-corporation. Nothing about Glass-Steagall or a 3% marginal tax hike or campaign reform.
      The only thing worse than the MSM coverage is the Fox coverage.

    • Beowoof

      The serious media is busy keeping me up on the all important Conrad Murray trial.

    • PalinzADummy

      For some strange reason, math does not appear to be one of the "core competencies" of the reportorial class.

  • Schmuck, schlemiel, or schlimazel? Too many choices for Klien, but give you a schlimazeltov on this posting Wonkette Jr.

    • PalinzADummy


  • SorosBot

    Well supporting the movement too much would be controversial, and this is the Washington Post where criticizing human filth right-wingers like Matt Drudge in private is a call for firing, so we can't have that; of course calling for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of brown people is perfectly OK for them.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      What is the use of brown people unless you editorialize in favor of their bombing?

  • chascates

    Most Americans believe in ghosts, UFOs, and Invisible Space Deities‎ so if someone says these 99 percenters are socialist tools and the bankers are poor, hard-workin' patriots of course they'll believe it. Even though they themselves have lost money either personally or collectively to the machinations of said bankers.

    The more Fox & co-conspirators complain about it the more effect it must be having.

    Tax financial transactions to avoid manipulation!

    • comrad_darkness

      Tax the orders AND the transactions. Imagine GS and their ilk making money without fucking with the system over a high speed data connection.

  • edgydrifter

    38 teabaggers can circle their lard wagons in a Walmart parking lot, declare "WE ARE AMERICA!" and have it covered seriously by every major news outlet in the country.

    Demonstrators representing the swelling underclass have to prove that they don't represent only 281,000,000 Americans to get the Ezra Klein Seal of Actual Newsworthiness.

    Fucking liberal media–how does it work?

    • Papa_Uniform

      Fucking liberal media indeed. How does it work? Not very well. They were spring loaded to cover every breathtaking teabag moment in close trail behind Fuxx News, but it took Maddow 12 days(!) to even mention there might be a little demonstration on Wall St. Keith was the only one on this from the start. Now, all of a sudden, they are getting it. Too late guys. What took you so long? Were you too busy hauling your big paychecks signed by GE and such to the government bailed out banks?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Apologism goes in, marginalization comes out. NEVER A MISCOMMUNICATION

      • PalinzADummy

        Never a fucking apology, either.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Let them eat shit".

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      When the groceries run out, they may have to.

      • PalinzADummy

        I thought we were already surviving on shitburgers.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Reading Lil' Ezra is like eating bar weinnies-seems like a good idea when you start, but always comes out wrong in the end.

  • Schmannnity

    Where is the New York equivalent of the Bastille?

    • LiveToServeYa

      Goldman Sachs. 200 West Street, Manhattan.

    • Negropolis

      Riker's, maybe?

  • But what gives their movement the potential for power and potency is the masses who just want the system to work the way they were promised it would work.

    Unfortunately the system (the death throes of finance capital) is working in the only way it can, promises by lackeys notwithstanding.

    • comrad_darkness

      Race to the bottom for the win!

  • Billmatic

    Wonkette Jr? I thought the line item take down of hacks was Parenee's specialty.

  • bureaucrap

    I'm still convinced that "Wonkette Jr" is just Ken Layne wearing a Guy Fawkes mask while he types.

  • freakishlywrong

    Does anyone else think, that in twenty years, when we're a right-wing theocracy, with work houses and WalMart jobs until we're 90, if we don't die from lack of health care, watering the crops with Brawndo, that the media will take an introspective look at what really happened and who caused the utter demise of this formally swinging country?
    Nah, me neither.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      "But, it's what the middle class craves…!"

  • RedneckMuslin

    I'm not outraged because I don't know what the fuck this is about.

    • MrFizzy

      Yeah, me too!

  • ttommyunger

    In the end (heh, heh), Russert would prolly have gone for that, except for the acid-tipped part.

  • bureaucrap

    Klein's already drafted his follow-up story to be used two weeks from now: "Although the police were right to shut down this American Tahrir square (because they could all just VOTE for one of two overlord-selected candidates instead, and they shouldn't try to do anything else), the police arguably used excessive force in killing X of them". The story writes itself. And young Ezra will be there to record what a shame it was that today's generation is already so alienated.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Democracy is messy. Even Don Rumsfeld said it. I do not think, as King Louis' head rested on the executioner's block, that he cared very much that the protesters couldn't articulate what, exactly, they had hoped to achieve.

    • Pithaughn

      Well put. When one of them is accelerating downward at 9.80665 m/s2 from my arms on the 12th floor of a wall street office building, will he/she care how fucking clever I was able to articulate?

  • GregComlish

    Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent. If you’re in the 85th percentile, for instance, your household is making more than $100,000

    Oh I get it. You can't say you're in the 99% unless you are in precisely the 99th percentile of income. These kids really need to make money before their protest can be fully valid.

    • littlebigdaddy

      I learned the difference between percentage and percentile back in middle school. I guess Ezzy didn't have Mrs. Jenkins for math.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      I guess Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Lupe Fiasco, and Cornell West out there somehow doesn't count toward Ezra's extremely scientificalized calculations of this all-important percentile? Do we have to split the hair finer, to make sure we only Ezra-count those who actually sleep there?

      Keep up the higher math apologia, Klein! The middle-class sure ain't gonna acid-fuck itself!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Shirley this is as poking at a hornet's nest.
    Woe is us.

  • SayItWithWookies

    There are a lot of people who are getting an unusually raw deal right now. There is a small group of people who are getting an unusually good deal right now. That doesn’t sound to me like a stable equilibrium.

    That's a plain-spoken cry for revolution if I ever heard one — right up there with "Workers of the world, unite — you have nothing to lose but nine hours of your day and a modicum of dignity," and "More please, sir" as radical stabs against the very foundations of our great economy.

  • deleted9228899

    Yeah, fuck this guy for saying that OWS, still rife with Paultards and New Age lunatics, isn't the salvation of the American left!

    Also, read the end of the article. He makes a good point! I am one of those newly graduated unemployed people, and my ability (or inability) to find work is (SURPRISE!) unaffected by how many people camp out in New York City or how much vitriol you trollan fuckheads spit at a blogger whose economic opinions have progressed beyond misanthropy.

  • comrad_darkness

    I can do statistics and by my estimate with teabagger policies in place, the 85% will be the 99% by 2020.

    Time flies, people.

  • Weenus299

    Ezra Pound was more coherent. And also, somewhat more fascistic, bless his little heart.

  • CapnFatback

    "It's not the arrests, nor the resolve of the protests, nor the counterargument to the harmful status quo of current American economic policies that make this revolution worth covering. It's the Dickensian Aspect."

  • chicken_thief

    Yikes. I like Ezra and his middle of the road column….

  • Weenus299

    Do you have to be a ranting pinstripe-suited lunatic on a selling floor in front of national cameras to start a movement? Is that a fucking law or something? Middle class and the poors losing money hand over fist, nah, fuck that, that's American pride!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Just further proof that all writing in the Washington Post is generated by an Apple IIc running a simple BASIC program.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    "these Occupy Wall Street ruffians on the Tumblr do not have their statistics exactly correct.”

    Damn! We were so close.

    OK, everybody go home and come back when you've done the numbers.

  • Lucidamente1

    Why did you write "Child Protégé" when you mean "Child Prodigy?" (OK, not funny, but the schoolteacher in me had to ask.)

    • If the particular Wonkette Jr. responsible for this broadside wasn't hiding in a certain cubicle at a certain unloved newsroom in a certain American capital where people are too paranoid to even check their gmail, we might be able to ask whether this was a spellcheck fuckup or whatever.

      But I read it as a protege of Richard Cohen and the other banal olds at the WaPo, but then that's how I think.

      • Lucidamente1

        Great, now I feel like an even bigger dick for pointing it out.

        • Angry_Marmot

          Good tip everyone: keep the dicks and the protégés away from each other.

  • Radiodead

    I'm waiting for Howie Kurtz's coverage of the coverage.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Wasn't there a series of recent stories that showed how many media companies aren't even focusing on the average buyer, and gearing their advertising toward the more affluent?

    I haven't been able to Google the news stories that outlined this trend, so I'm hoping some of you will remember this.

  • prommie

    Why is it the pundits feel entitled to condescend to the intellectual liberals, but they wouldn't dare condescend to the know-nothing fucktarded moron teabaggers and unreconstructed confederate idiots on the other side? Just asking.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Are you talking about the rep-tards on teevee? Fuck'em, they're on teevee. So is wrestling, Jersey Shore and Nancy Grace.

      All in all, yes, it's pretty goddamn depressing. But I lump all that pain together, so it all hurts at once.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Clearly that is what the Consittution calls for.

    • PalinzADummy

      I'll tell you why. Because intellectual liberals are not likely to show up at their fucking kids' school with rifles. That's why. When you say word ONE against Palin, Bachmann, or any of these blowhard, brazen idiots, you can rest assured that they will, if they can, discover your identity, your home address, your children's schools, and your wife/husband's place of employment and fuck with you in unimaginably painful ways.

      Intellectual liberals will write a strongly worded letter. Which do you fear more?

  • Beowoof

    A bunch of people completely powerless to do anything but pissed off none the less. Well welcome to the republican idea of America. You can be pissed and even march around all you want as long as you have no clear goal and don't try to take any republican cash.

  • MrFizzy

    Another media wanker. Any wonder newspapers are circling the drain? The Post used to be a good newspaper, but now it's little more than a bad-news rag, except when it comes to our highly productive wars, which help support the hundreds of military contractors that (woo hoo!) buy advertising in the Post. Daisy chain of shit.

  • SarahsBush

    "Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent. If you’re in the 85th percentile, for instance, your household is making more than $100,000, and you’re probably doing okay. If you’re in the 95th percentile, your household is making more than $150,000."

    Let's be clear, this isn't really the Tea Party. They've never thrown shipments of tea off of a boat, nor do they realize what "no taxation without representation" actually means. But we can ignore that (that's just nit-picking).


  • Callyson

    Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent. If you’re in the 85th percentile, for instance, your household is making more than $100,000
    Those who are lucky enough to be in this position are not exactly rolling around in their money, if they are paying any attention. Between worrying about whether yet another round of layoffs will kick them out of their percentile, fear that their house will go further underwater, terror when they open their 401k statements, and dread about still another hike in college tuition costs, even a six figure income is no guarantee of financial security from the greed of the 1%…

    • PalinzADummy

      Well, let's be really blunt about this: if you're making $100K/pa, you're getting by if you live in any major urban center. I bought my house 20 years ago, and I'm still paying for it. At the time I thought I was paying a ludicrous price. On the plus side, it hasn't lost half its value. On the minus side, I can't sell it because I can't buy anything in this beautiful city for the same price or lower. If you're making less than $250K, in NYC, LA, SF, DC, you're getting by. And that's without kid-related expenses. If you have more than one child and you expect to put that child through college, you'd better be making more. Ezra Klein ought to know that better than most.

  • An_Outhouse

    For an unfocused group, they seem to have their shit together. According to PBS SnoozeHour interviewing a couple of lame stream reporters, there are no demands. So I guess they haven't heard of the google.
    "Proposed List Of Demands For Occupy Wall St Movement!"

  • An_Outhouse

    To quote one Grace Slick: UP AGAINST THE WALL MOTHERFUCKERS (and JUMP!!!) (I added that last part).

    Who will be this generation's Grace?

  • We only need follow S&P, who are saying: stock market bad, protesters good.

    Hey history buffs! All this is of course preparation for the 82nd Anniversary of the '29 crash this coming Oct. 24-29! Celebrations will kick off with an actual, real time recreation of the events and their consequences.

  • friendlyskies

    Bitch please. I may make in the low five figures and have no car, but I also have no debt. Some of my friends who make $150,000 per year are carrying $500,000+ in debt – mortgages, kids in college, gold digger divorces, and so on. The White Collar's Burden. I'm not crying them a river or anything, but we professional poors already know how to dumpster dive and use public transportation, and we weren't relying on our 401ks and stock portfolios to surf the financial system to an easy retirement. They were, and they're screwed, worse than us psychologically, and it's not like you could have bought a lobbyist or TARP bonus with that kind of money anyway, come on.

    That's why (imho) they are more than welcome to be part of the 99% if they feel like joining us. We're all in the same boat, and besides, we're going to need doctors and lawyers as this thing gets bigger anyway.

    • I'm down witchoo at $150k even without the crushing debt, 'cause I know they'll get around to coming for my measly share of the Good Life before they'll give up any of their platinum toothpicks and cashmere asswipes.

      • friendlyskies

        They are coming for it. What do you think they want more – your share of Social Security or mine? Your house or mine? And you folks with a little bit of money, status, and education might even be able to scrape together enough power to stand up to the bastards, what chance do I have? I wonder if I'm even the one in their gunsights.

  • Guppy06

    I don't begrudge people making 100k or 150k, or even 500k. It's the asshats raking in 100 million (not counting stock options and parachutes) that I want to see strung up.

  • Papa_Uniform

    Thanks for getting onboard Ezra. We 99% were turning blue holding our breaths waiting for you to figure it out. Whew!

  • dirtytuxedoboy

    "If you’re in the 95th percentile, your household is making more than $150,000." I'm in that shameful percentile, and I'm ready to stink it up on the streets with the protesters. Trust me, your getting screwed even if you're making 150K. Your house is underwater, your public schools are fucked, your 401K is a wasteland, you can be fired at any moment, and your taxes are being stolen at the same rate as everyone elses.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    We Are The 99%*
    *Less The Honest Ezra Klein Discount Of Those Actual Highly Paid Media People That Are Out Here, Supporting Us Just The Same, Like Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Lupe Fiasco, Or Cornell West

    This could totally fit on a sign! THANKS EZRA FOR HELPING CLARIFY THE MESSAGE!

  • mumbly_joe

    And Mittens isn't part of the "middle class", either, even if he defines "middle-class" as comprising 95% of the population, but doesn't really stop him from yapping, so maybe we could cut the kids a little slack?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    "Fuck this guy"

    Get out of my dreams, Wonkette.

  • Negropolis

    Ezra is everything wrong with the media. The guy is brilliant, and you can tell that he gets it, and by that I mean he is fully aware of reality and recognizing trends, which is what makes his entire career up to this point epically disappointing and maddening. I don't even think I can boil this down to him not being courageous. There is just something so incredibly amoral about the left in mainstream media, an amorality that is just as bad if maybe not even worse than the over-moralizing of conservatives in the mainstream media on the other side of things.

    The total unwillingness to report the ugly reality of things will forever handicap the mainstream media left-leaners. Dick Fuld could actually be stealing candy from a toddler on a Manhattan sidewalk and folks like Ezra wouldn't be able to do anything more than to find someway to rationalize it.

  • vomsquad

    permanently cautious, except when he says things like "acid-tipped dick." LOL.

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