The dimming dollar-store bulb of Michele Bachmann’s “energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs are socialist” presidential campaign is down to a stack of leftover informational pamphlets, a couple of desperate spam emails begging for “emergency” money and, uh, some guy who thanked Michele Bachmann for running so that he doesn’t have to vote for “next best thing” dead serial killer psychopath Charles Manson for President. This is according to an actual “news report,” although we could probably have made this up with much the same result. Sometimes the tragicomedy writes itself!Â
The LA Times reports:
Bachmann has dropped in the polls [in Iowa,] as she has nationally. Top advisors have left or been forced out. Reports of lackluster fundraising were bolstered by her campaign’s plea to supporters last week for “emergency” contributions.
At an event in Cedar Rapids, aides handed out leftover brochures asking for support at the straw poll, more than a month ago. A strong presence in early Republican debates, she was starved of airtime in recent face-offs, to the point that during the last one she interrupted so she could answer another candidate’s question.
Recent events have drawn low turnouts. And she continues to make gaffes. On the radio show, a caller told her he would vote for serial killer Charles Manson over President Obama. “Hey, thank you for saying that,” she replied.
And just remember, Minnesota voters: Michele Bachmann has not shown up for the last 150 House votes — making her the most absentee representative behind Gabrielle Giffords — and is no longer doing the actual work she was hired by voters to do. You are paying a six-figure salary to a lunatic woman who runs around on her feverish hamster wheel to Nowhere talking about serial killers with her demented fans. Yep. [LA Times/ Roll Call]
{ 214 comments }
Charles Manson? That's disgusting. Now John Wayne Gacy, he would have made a great president.
I'm sure Gacy would have buried everyone in the polls.
In the polls, in the parks, he wasn't really fussy.
I want to bear your children.
He loved kids. A small business owner. And who doesn't love clowns!
Me.
The real question is, "what does Sarah Palin thinke about all this?"
Ahahaha, two down!
I see where Hank Williams Jr compared Obama to Hitler on Fox Noise and LOL, Monday Night Football just pulled his untalented ass from the opening of the show. Are ya ready to be unemployed?
Isn't Hank Williams Jr. the guy who fell 400 feet off a mountain and landed on his head?
Yep, he fell 442 feet on his face. Now it looks like his face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
What a dumb ass hillbilly.
Are you ready for some Goodwin?
I'm seeing an over-the-top Monday Night Football intro with panzer tanks, stormtroopers and 200 "Helgas" in skimpy, push-up Bavarian dresses, all gyrating around Ol' Hank screaming "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BLITZKRIEG?!"
It's nice to see bad things happen to bad people.
Ah, but the Astute Political Analysts at Freeplandia have it figured out–Obama isn't Hitler, he's Mussolini. And Fox News is a bunch of liberals because they tsk-tsked Willams.
Well some similarities.
He wants a civilian defence force.(SS and SD)
He coddles muslims (Grand Mufti of jeruselem) Obama Muslim Brotherhood.
Obama wants a false flag. Hitler the Riechstag Fire.
Hitler blamed the jews and 6 million were killed.
Obama Blames comservatives and would not mind 25 MIllion of us dead. Bill Ayers words.
Obama anti 2nd amemdment.
Hitler first thing done was ban all weapons..
There are alot of similarities.
Too bad. In the history of country music, "Are You Ready For Some Football" is right up there with "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"
needs moar dead conservatives.
Let's be logical here.
Nice, BMW!
VENN LIBELZ !!!!!1111!!!!
That is the second-best Venn diagram EVER.
This remains the best: http://pandagon.blogsome.com/images/music_snob_Ve...
Hitler: teetotaller
Obama: Drinks beers with cops and professors
Yeah, I'm sure Hitler coddled Muslims; he was big on rights for Semitic non-Christians.
Perhaps in the long run Hitler would have turned on the Muslims, as he would no doubt have turned on the Japanese as well, if things ever reached that point. But his government had sympathetic relations with the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, and there was an entire SS division of Bosniak Muslims. (13th Mountain SS = Hanschar (sp?).
I think this is the history people are dredging up when they argue for Nazi-Muslim connections.
Don't get me wrong, I think this is a pretty slender reed to base any arguments on, but these are people whose entire cognitive life consists of finding some random fact – any random fact – that they can fasten on to buttress their preconceived ideas.
It's much forgotten but the 13th Dalai Lama explored relations with Hitler, too. They had a common enemy, the British Empire, which was far from un-racist. There were a lot of people back then thinking that the enemy of their enemy was their friend.
Kinda like what they do with the Bible… one random verse by which to crucify… forget the rest of the "peaceful and good" things.
Wow, this sounds like the unedited Rush Limbaugh transcript from the previous thread. So much insanity, so little time.
One bruised country singer is a tragedy. 25 million is a statistic.
In Nashville, it's Year Zero.
I expect to see pyramids of human skulls outside the Grand Ole Opry gates by dawn! Get cracking!
Doesn't your brain hurt just from copypasta posting that?
And I just read that Madonna will be performing at the Super Bowl.
Wardrobe malfunction in 3…2…1…
I sure hope…. I just hope she shaves her pits this time.
Accountability?!
Huh?
A little flicker of light in the vast, dark bleakness of the void (USA).
His Dad=Ahead of his time
Him=Complete douche
Fuck this moronic piece of shit!
To be fair to Jr. they propped him up with a guitar the moment his dad kicked the bucket and he has been milking the name and his old man's songs for his existence. All those drugs, all that booze and 400 feet face first in rocks and this still isn't as tough to deal with as looking in the mirror every day and knowing that the world sees a man unfit to carry his dad's piss bucket, let alone guitar. That kind of karma must suck incredibly.
If he's so unfit, he should probably just shut the fuck up.
Hank Williams III? Quite excellent.
Maybe talent skips a generation.
That's the only consequence? Somewhere the Dixie Chicks are thinking Williams got off light.
Amen to that. (That whole incident *still* chaps my hide. Except that it begat the nude Dixie Chicks EW cover, which was kinda cool.)
Shut Up And Sing was a good movie, too.
I didn't tune in for the start of the football game. Did they play Edith Piaf 's Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien instead?
They went for Piaf's La vie en rose instead. Because nothing says football like singing about a pink life.
Hank Williams Jr recently compared Obama to Hitler.
Conversely, nobody compared Hank Jr. to Hank Sr.
I'm SO stealing that for my facebook status.
and Hank III is yelling, "shut the fuck up, old man!"
I'm sure Junior haz a confused in his dim little mind, since on the network where he gave the interview that comparison is actively encouraged.
Plus this probably validates the comparison in his besotted eyes: He criticized the prez, and and then he lost what is no doubt his only paying job. Exactly like the Holocaust.
Aw but I want her to be the nominee there's no way could win in the general.
George W. Bush.
You can never go wrong overestimating the stupidity of the American people.
Looking at Michele Bachman reminds me of the feeling that you get once you are in the stranger's van and then you realize that there is no candy.
Funny, that's the feeling I get looking at Marcus Bachmann.
Was this about you?
Charles Manson libel!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn, you beat me to it.
I'm learning: post, THEN worry about whether it makes any sense.
I found it also helps to ignore the rest of one's life and just constantly refresh Wonkette in the hopes of getting in a decent comment.
F5 F5 F5
Time to leave the temple, Blueb4sunrise.
Remember always that a wise man walks with his head bowed.
~
I am not worthy.
It's official: Bachmann is certifiable.
They should cut out the middleman and just run Charles Manson.
Yeah, because if anybody knows about cutting out things it's ol' Charlie.
Manson/Rubio '12
I'm gonna say the one thing I've always been okay with about Bachmann is her laziness when it comes voting or proposing legislation. Really, if she never sets foot in the House again, that's terrific!
Because the bonus to her presidential campaign implosion is that she's also not running to re-up her House seat. Buh-bye Michele. You dimwitted asshole.
She doesn't believe in government- so why show up for what you don't believe in? Now those paychecks….
Hey Michele, you wanna make $5 the hard way?
That would be hard for everyone all around, I'd imagine…
You mean whoring? I think she's been down with that for quite awhile.
No, Michele can't go, there is so much comedy gold there, I am sure many of us will miss the opportunity to mock her mercilessly.
No doubt she has a gig at Fox News waiting for her.
I hear Snowbilly's contract is up in January. Looks like they might have the next crazy-eyed quitter lined up!
Charles Manson isn't dead, Kirsten.
Yeah, I hadn't even heard that he was sick.
I don't know, I think we can all agree that Charles Manson is one sick fuck.
He's dead to me.
Looks like he's getting closer though. Not soon enough to suit the universe, but rotting in prison isn't an enjoyable way to spend an existence.
Naw, he is alive and well (not mentally) here in Nor-Cal… Vacaville.
He was coughing up blood last night.
He got better.
He's in jail in Cali, writing songs, Phil Spector produces the albums that can be downloaded in Intunes.com. They're just waiting for Roman Polanski to arrive and release (sic) the videos.
I hear Robert Blake was up for a role in one of those videos but he dropped out at the last minute.
Michele joined ICP?
There is absolutely no question that Michele is down with the clown.
She certainly qualifies for the first letter.
The Insane Clown Pussies, indeed. Detroit has produced some post-apocalyptic music to match its post-apocalyptic reality in the last few decades. The speed at which Detroit music got fucking weird (sometimes in a good way) is nothing short of astonishing.
Well I don't think she knows how fucking magnets work either.
In fairness, Bachman has a hole in her head too.
The guy wasn't dissing Obama–he just likes Charles Manson, and therefore is part of one-L's base.
I'm going to guess the caller really likes Charlie's position on race wars.
favorite song: helter skelter
Maybe she can just paint something stupid on a rock to remain "relevant" for another week or two.
A self portrait would work.
beardhead?
Charles Manson: Murderous raving lunatic and notorious hater of the browns…fits right into that Tea Party hat, doesn't he?
I was going to say, given Manson's explicit desire to start a race war, I think I've seen a couple other members of Draft Manson 2012 over on Breitbart's internet concerns.
As I was reading this, I was thinking there really isn't much difference between Charles Manson and Glenn Beck. Except I think Manson actually denied killing people, while Glenn Beck has never denied raping and killing a girl in the 90s.
He was the trend amplified to its logical conclusion, way ahead of its time.
Ugh, I have a feeling this one's not going to go down in graceful defeat. Not looking forward to the clown tears.
oh you are a far better person than i.
i am so looking forward to the clown tears.
To hell with emergency contributions; this campaign needs emergency antipsychotics.
Is Thorazine injectable so they can shoot her from a distance with a dart gun like in Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom? "Jim will now place a tag in Michele's ear and an M&M in her mouth to revive her…."
Jim always did get the shitty job. No wonder he ended up pushing Marlon into that piranha-infested river.
There is an injectable form. I'll score the Thorazine if you can score a Jim.
Be careful of drug interactions with the migraine pills!
Um. Why?
On the plus side, Michele seems to be wearing less make-up than usual.
That's actually what she looks like with no makeup.
Won't anyone consider poor Marcus' plight? How is he going to find the me time he needs to properly counsel young men on the evils of buttsex?
I am sure Marcus can continue his mission in the mens room at the Minneapolis Airport.
In that special wide-stance spud stall?
Bachmann Tragicomedy Overdrive!
Way to show that Fiscal responsibility and awesome leadershit, Mish.
The beauty thing is she's so delusional she probably thinks she would be able to mount a serious campaign as a third party candidate once Mittens sews up the GOP nomination. Could be lots of fun!!!! Somebody should plant that idea on her website.
She'll be the anti-Mormon candidate!
That photographer in the meat locker looks as if he is sizing up her potential to be next week's dinner. Must be a Republican.
Am I the only one who thinks there's something profoundly disturbing about that meat locker shot?
Well, she's collecting her taxpayer-funded salary and laughing all the way to the bank, like she has for years Doesn't even have to show up for work. Sounds like a typical Republican douchebag to me.
Seconded.
Amen, brother.
And complaining about "washington" the whole time.
Did the voters actually think they would get work out of her?
Isn't here district being eliminated? If so, joke's on her.
She1ey needs moar better speechwriters. She should hire Peggyton Noonanington.
Isn't she busy walking around trying to see Mexican?
You are paying a six-figure salary to a lunatic woman who runs around on her feverish hamster wheel to Nowhere talking about serial killers with her demented fans.
That's no different from when I owned stock in HP. Except Carly Fiorina had a seven or eight figure salary.
But it's a lot better now with Meg Whitman?
Yes, look for something newsy but pointless to pop up in the media regarding this twit very soon. A bit O/T, but I'm starting to wonder if Perry's people leaked the Rock business- he then gets to pull a Palin and whine about how the Lamestream Media is slandering him, while turning a sideways glance to his freak base, with a wink that says "yeah, that was my rock alright".
Rush played it as something that happened in the 1980s when Perry was a Democrat.
Interesting, but I think you are giving them too much credit.
If nothing else, she has the serial killer vote locked up.
Except that the victims outnumber her demographic.
Charles Manson is not a serial killer! He's a mass murderer. There's a big difference, sheeple. Especially when you are considering his fitness for the White House…
"Feverish Hamster Wheel to Nowhere"
Is that a great name for a band, or what?
Charles Manson = Alive
Bachmann Campaign = Dead
It's Misplaced Modifier Monday!!
Michele Bachmann, Charles Manson: both have CRAZY EYES.
But Charlie seems more rational.
They both have big "families," and they both like to pop pills by the handful.
Yup:
http://heimaey.us/post/9088298616/bachmanneyezed-...
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!1!!!!!11
{runs away}
Running right behind ya. Geezus, I didn't think that motherfucker could look any crazier.
Oh man, that is so awesome. GODS OF THE BOUNTIFUL INTARNET BE PRAISED!
Hers are WAY KRAY-Zer.
Is one-L as fluent in white supremacist gang signs? This could be what the election turns on!
"a caller told her he would vote for serial killer Charles Manson over President Obama.'
And I would vote for Marilyn Manson over Michele.
Or even the re-animated corpse of Marilyn Monroe.
And I would vote for Marilyn Monroe over just about anyone, even Barry-not-Manilow.
Put a fork in her, she's done.
And Charlie is just the guy to do it!
(Too Soon?)
No. It's NEVER too soon to stick something in Michele. Goodness knows, her husband's failed to do so in, what, 35 years?
She thought he said, "Marilyn Manson."
Good thing they saved those brochures!
Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad
Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown, when there's no one around
Uh hum, oh yeah baby
So finally a new post? I was beginning to think that the International Brotherhood of Snark Fitters and Knee Cappers Local 51 had gone out on a sympathy strike.
I was getting wobbly in anticipation.
I see. Oh?
Awful Funny Line there, owls.
I Went Weak-kneed.
So if MB bails, will she start raising Cain? Can't figure she'll go for Perry since he grabbed too many of her wingnuts. Hope Christie joins the herd this week since it appears that MB is toast and Palin is just griftin'. So it would seem that we need someone to grab some Mittens votes so that the Rethug debate stays heavy to Teatard & nutter appeasement for some months to come.
Oh, the delicious taste of wingtard tears!
Yeah, don't do this to us on a Monday. We are depressed and hungover and need teh Wonkette!
At least Manson isn't fat.
Shelly's a lot of things, fat she is not. What joke did I miss?
Erick Erickson begat Chris Christy (who never met a donut he didn't like)begat Steve Stevlic, et.al.
This can mean only one thing: It's illiterate eskimo time!
Charles Manson — apparently a Repubican.
"Bachmann: Because you can't vote for Charles Manson."
Bumper sticker WIN.
Oh, you COULD… He is actually still alive, and I don't think that felonies necessarily disqualify you for Preznit
I'm looking forward to see how voters of her district are gonna review her performance.
I am of the belief that Mrs. Bachmann's message is just too sophisticated for the dog-whistle, aluminum-cap audience. Am also of the belief that the bitch is toast.
The Republicans are so damn fickle! Do you recall how high Michele with one "L" was riding, the day after she won the Iowa Straw Poll? (Such a vital contest!) I'll bet if any of their candidates does win the election, they'll be out in front of the White House picket
ing for an Impeachment, so that the new flavor-of-the-month can be publically drooled over. What went on last week with regard to New Jersey's Barbar the Elephant Governor was totally obscene.
Hey, don't get all excited now or anything, but Ron Paul is already making impeachment noises. Geezus, what an eejit. Like that's gonna do squat for the country, assuming he can find some cause for impeachment.
TITS PLEASE!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Great_Tit
Great tits!
Bachmann/Manson 2012! \
Suggested campaign slogans:
We'll make more cuts to the federal budget than to Sharon Tate!
We'll take a set of steak knives to government spending!
Why vote for the lesser of evils?
"We'll make more cuts to the federal budget than to Sharon Tate! "
This induced a beer/snot spew and not a little pee.
If she's too broke to pay her staff, why doesn't Michele just put her kids to work for her? Kids need jobs.
why doesn't Michele just put her kids to work for her?
Because the insertion of that quantity of workers into the workforce would wreak havoc with the global labor market, that's why.
How can anyone stand to listen to that nasal whiiiiine? "I'm a maaaaam." Jesus, I don't care WHAT you are, lady, just STFU for Christ's sake.
That's why god invented clicks.
♫ ♬ isn't it rich?
Don't you love farce?
Isn't it queer?
Send in the clowns.♫ ♬
If Bachmann really needs money, there are apparently a lot of Republicans that are willing to pay for certain things…, if you get my drift. How does she feel about diapers?
She's a maaam. She raised five biolaaaagicaaal kids and twennythree faaaaster kids. She probably lives to change dirty diapers.
…so that he doesn’t have to vote for “next best thing” dead serial killer psychopath Charles Manson for President.
Does this mean her campaign is…(wait for it)…Helter Skelter?
Well it's willy nilly, that's for sure.
She's coming down fast. Yes, she is.
i think i once read manson was sold – by his mother – for beer.
what a waste.
I don't think Manson's dead though…
"And she continues to make gaffes."
Really…. naw…
Poor sad clown. Poor sad, gaffe-prone, moronic, grifting, gay-husband-having, demented-Kewpie-doll-eyed, clinically insane clown.
On the radio show, a caller told her he would vote for serial killer Charles Manson over President Obama. “Hey, thank you for saying that,” she replied. "He's from my home town!" she said proudly.
Just saw the tagline: BUT CIRCUSES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SAD
Au contraire, mon chéri. Au contraire.
I'm sure by now she's really missing all that money she shelled out to Randy Travis to win her her Iowa Straw Poll.
This is good news for Squeaky Fromme.
Leslie Van Houten has really let herself go.
Let me guess- Hank Jr. made the phone call?
OT: My Tigers are killing me, tonight. This series has been too close. lol
Sorry to be a Yankee fan, but I think you guys are WAY better looking than some of the other fans I've seen.
(And there's no Rudy!)
Slighty OT, this time: So, it looks like the current, Republican flavor-of-the-day is about to implode, because he had the gall to find the name of Perry's racist-assed ranch uncouth and offensive. So, which one of these fuckers is next in line to be king of the hill for a fool two-day news cycle?
The Republican GOP primary is the saddest rugby scrum I've ever witnessed.
This is all run by the Mormon Mafia.
This story will fade away but that picture will be with me for the rest of my life….and not in a good way.
"making her the most absentee representative behind Gabrielle Giffords" – and of course the lamestream media picks on the patriotic Michelle instead of loafing, congressional welfare receipient Giffords!!!
You are paying a six-figure salary to a lunatic woman who runs around on her feverish hamster wheel to Nowhere talking about serial killers with her demented fans.
The Fabulous Kirsten.
Anyone see Erin Burnett's premiere episode of OutFront on CNN, tonight? So, I watch the intro and the very first segment or her very first show was needling Occupy Wall Street for not being coherent enough. Not only that, but she took great joy in doing it. Not that I was ever going to watch her show, and given that she's always been an amoral asshole like the rest of the Wall Street groupies, but this was such a blatant "fuck you" to regular folks I was taken aback. If there is a god, that show won't make it four months.
Just long enough to get her old job back:
Burnett began her career as a financial analyst for Goldman Sachs[8] in their investment banking division, where she worked on mergers and acquisitions and corporate finance.
While working as an investment-banking analyst, Burnett was offered a position at CNN as a writer and booker for CNN's Moneyline with Stuart Varney, Willow Bay, and Lou Dobbs.[9]
Wow. CNN sure knows how to pick 'em. Looks like she's always been part of the problem.
She just got engaged to a Citigroup exec who she met when she was a VP there. So she probably doesn't move in circles where she ever has to encounter any of us lowly commoners. Hence, she sees any of them complaining and thinks "What are you people whining about? My manicurist just raised her rates! We're all suffering!" It's good that CNN gave her a high-profile show.
She may have to settle for being the next governor of Minnesota.
I'm sure someone else has jumped on this already, but… Kirsten, Manson's actually still alive
Other than that, I agree with everything said here.
Why does Charles Starkweather get no love? The rest are just copycats.
Dear KIRSTEN BOYD JOHNSON, if that is your real name: As President of the Charles Manson Fan Club I must inform you that your recent libel on the "Wonkette" did not go unread and will not go unpunished. To compare Charles Manson, a successful manipulator and mass-murderer to this incompetent twat is offensive and inaccurate to the extreme. I have contacted our Attorneys at Dewey Phuckem and Howe to initiate proceedings immediately for Libel, Mopery, Mockery, Gawkery and Failure to Do Right. You will soon learn the error of your ways, Madam.
I hear that train a coming, coming round the bend…
Oh, I'm so going to hell for that.
Power flows from the neck of a guitar.
What'd you do, son?
I washed my hands in muddy water
Washed my hands, oh, but they didn't come clean
The Opry must become one with the people so that they see it as their own Opry. Such an Opry will be invincible.
Comments on this entry are closed.