republican family values

Tea Party Leader’s Hooker Sex Scandal Unfairly Ruining All His Fun

His last name is pronounced Chicago teabagger organizer-goon king Steve Stevlic mysteriously went AWOL at his own TEACON lunatic festival that he put together this weekend after Gawker reported that he was arrested in 2010 for being a hooker-sex fiend who also, like all such “family values people,” compensated by screaming profusely at a Democrat sex cheater on Twitter. Neat how that “moral math” works, right? Despite having absolved himself thus, Stevlic was still a no-show at his teabagger demon circus, so from now on what we can all say about Steve Stevlic is that he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism. Stevlic meanwhile meekly sent out a lecturing “official statement” from his hiding cave compound asking what everyone’s problem is, why care about a silly sex scandal more than “issues,” etc. Except that judging from our daily Google News homepage, sex scandals are actually the Only Issue that America cares about. So, uh, good luck with that argument, Steve!

From Patch.com:

TEACON 2011 organizer Steve Stevlic did not attend the second day of the conference he helped organize amid a report on Gawker that he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

The arrest occurred more than year ago in June 2010, Tea Party officials stated.

“My family and I dealt with this matter and we’ve successfully moved forward in our relationship,” Stevlic said in a prepared statement. “The charges surrounding this incident were dropped against me over a year ago and with all the issues we are facing in our country right now, I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.”

Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” When asked if Stevlic had resigned from the Tea Party, Kohn had no comment.

And absolutely NONE of this reporting does anything to resolve the most important issue, which is whether this was a gay hooker or just a boring old lady hooker. AMERICA NEEDS TO KNOW. [Patch/Gawker]

Comments

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  • elviouslyqueer

    Judging from Stevlic's pic, I'd lay odds it was a male prostitute.

    • Beowoof

      Oh yeah he is a wide stance guy snorting meth and cock in the Denny's restroom.

      • Limeylizzie

        Wow, I though I had done pretty much anything that could be done with a cock, except for the old back-door action, but I have never snorted one.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I think a combination of a real big nose and a real small cock are required. But that's just a guess.

          • Limeylizzie

            Horrible combination.

          • jus_wonderin

            Well, a long nose could be "repurposed".

          • Limeylizzie

            Mmm. I suppose so.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Just ask Cyrano de Bergerac…

          • jus_wonderin

            Though, not expressly illustrated by my Gravatar, I have a big nose. And we all know what they say about guys with big noses, don't we?

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Yeah. They bogart up all the coke.

          • SarahsBush

            And there's plenty of room to stick your cock in it. At least, that's what I'm saying now.

        • 738838

          Lizzie, let me guess…you are a brunette right?

          • Limeylizzie

            Not so much, dark reddish blonde.

      • PalinzADummy

        Actually, I think he snorts meth OFF cock in the Denny's restroom.

      • finallyhappy

        Yuck- Dennys- gross

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'd lay odds it was a male prostitute.

      I've heard you'd lay just about anything, Elv.

      • PalinzADummy

        I'm pretty sure Elviously restricts the hot action to boys only, dood.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Now Lascaux, you must have me confused with any Palin including, but not limited to, Trigg and Willow's unborn fetus.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Ba dum dum.

    • PalinzADummy

      Yeah, he's kinda hovering between gay-leaning bisexual and TOTALLY FUCKING GAY on my GaydarMeter.

    • Flat_Earther

      Picher or catcher?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Yes.

        • user-of-owls

          Picher sounds French. That's so gay.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    so by "internal matter," he means 'chlamydia,' correct?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I thought that ment "anal."

    • El Pinche

      Ooooh, Chlamydias are sooo pretty !

  • Barb

    Do Tea Party hookers demand to be paid in gold?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      No, that's the hookers that hang out at the Libertarian rave-ups. Those girls have taken a lot of cherries, believe you me.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Tea Party Hookers® do it for the freedumbs and Family Values.

      • baconzgood

        Canned food and any book telling you about ZOG.

        • WunkRocker

          Ameros for all my ho's!

          • horsedreamer_1

            I keep my alcahuete hand strong.

      • Negropolis

        Teabaggers don't do anything for free.

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Ron Paul Ameros for Invisible Hand Jobs.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        The Invisible Handjobs would be a good name for a libertarian punk band.

        • jus_wonderin

          It sort sounds like something Jeebus could pull off. Like walking on water and that fish tale thingy.

    • Not_So_Much

      Whore Diamonds or GTFO.

    • PalinzADummy

      They're not *worth* that much, Barb. Unless you mean "gold from old tooth fillings."

    • nonbeliever7

      I'd guess the Tea Party hookers are much smarter than their clients. Aftere a few meaningless compliments ("you really remind me of Ronnie Reagan"), they get twice the cash for half the effort.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Is there a Rick Perry angle here?

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      reports are he just threw up all over himself

  • OneYieldRegular

    He may want to seek help from MoveOn.org.

  • Indiepalin

    So if you love sex with prostitutes more than you love patriotism, you might just be a teabagger.

    • GOPCrusher

      Or Charlie Sheen.

    • Crank_Tango

      I fucking hate patriotism.

    • Negropolis

      "So if you love sex with prostitutes more than you love patriotism, you might just be a teabagger man."

      /fixed

  • CZL

    The only internal matter here is whether he pulled out, thus committing Onan's sin.

    I've got my Stone of Judgment ready.

    • Limeylizzie

      Dorothy Parker had a budgerigar called Onan, because he did spill his seed.

      • proudgrampa

        My favorite Dorothy Parker story: asked to use horticulture in a sentence, she said, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

        She is one woman I would love to meet, if I could go back in time.

        • LesBontemps

          "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

          –DP

          • Lascauxcaveman

            "Pearls before swine."

            –DP, when her arch enemy Clare Booth Luce stepped aside to let her enter a door first, whilst purring "Age before beauty."

    • finallyhappy

      Is it an Onan- like sin if he pulled out of a guy's butt?

  • prommie

    Yes! Yesssss! Sex, dirty dirty sex! And the funniest kind of sex of all, unsuccesful attempts at sex! ha ha, I say, Ha hahahahahaha! Funny Teatard can't even hire a hooker succesfully! Can there be anything much more humiliating than getting busted for mopery?

    • OzoneTom

      And here I thought that that "couldn't organize a hand-job in a whore-house" was just a quaint expression…

    • Limeylizzie

      Oh Prommie, what a dirty, dirty little lawyer you are, to be sure.

    • proudgrampa

      Leave it to you, Mr. Attorney, to think of that! Well played, sir.

    • PalinzADummy

      Not to pry, or anything, prommie — oh well, WTF, I *am* fucking prying — but — are you getting enough of the old slap-and-tickle? Because there's something downright ravenous about that comment, dood.

  • DaSandman

    And of course" successfully moving on with our relationship" means he is now fucking sheep.

    • Limeylizzie

      Win.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      In other words, spending more time with the family.

    • PalinzADummy

      Um … somehow, I don't think most sheep would give that yoick the time of day.

  • metamarcisf

    If it wasn't for all the issues facing this country right now, this story would deserve a headline.

  • Buzz Feedback

    "The Stevllic" involves a guy in a Viking outfit and a mason jar of possum fat.

    • Terry

      He's from Chicago. It's a jar of bacon grease.

      • GOPCrusher

        And a 16 inch softball.

    • PalinzADummy

      Doesn't possum fat … smell? As in, stink, of course.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Ha Ha! Is the festival's name really TEACON? Prommie was right about these clowns being beyond snark…

    • baconzgood

      That works on sooooo many levels know how they loved to teabag america and have cons like Sarah.

    • Generation[redacted]

      It's worth going to see William Shatner do his spoken word act.

    • fuflans

      i was driving back from ohare this morning (driving my boy to a family funeral) and i heard this on the radio in context of "only hermann showed up" and i thought: i can't wait to read wonkette on TEACON.

  • veritass

    Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.”

    Indeed. Sex is pretty internal.

    • Steverino247

      Unless you're sword fighting with hard-on's or something…

  • Sue4466

    Is Steve Stevlic is his porn name?

    • Chichikovovich

      He dances under the name "Stevedore Stevie Stevlic".

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I don't know about that, but they say don't trust a guy with two first names. Especially if they're both 'Steve.'

  • Oblios_Cap

    "…with all the issues we are facing in our country right now, I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.”

    I like it. I'll have to remember to use that next time I get in trouble.

    "Officer, with all the issues we are facing in our country now, I not sure why this kilo of coke merits me getting arrested."

    "Okay, sir. I'll let you go this time with a warning."

    What could possibly go wrong?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Well, it seems to have worked out pretty well for those guys that wrecked the global economy and stole all our money.

      • PalinzADummy

        Yeah, but I'll bet they were Republicans.

    • PalinzADummy

      It'll take me a while to complete the list, but I'll get right on it.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        It worked for GOP State Senator Suzi Schmidt when she tipped off 9-1-1 that they should ignore what they'll ultimately move forward in their relationship from. Not retreating, but going in a different direction or reloadin or something patriotic-y.

        • PalinzADummy

          Yeah, until it leaked to the whole world that she whupped her old man upside the head with a wireless phone, bit him hard enough to get blood all down his front, rammed her car into his repeatedly, and kicked him out of the house on a frosty Illinois Xmas morning. I don't think ol' Suzi will be having much relationship-mending going on, given that you need a relationship to do that, and it looks like she done pooped all over hers.

          Geez, those Republican women, as our own beautiful LimeyLizzie points out, they are YEW-GLY!

  • GregComlish

    Just because he was AWOL doesn't mean he was deliberately avoiding the teabagger conference. He could have just decided to step out for some hookers.

    • PalinzADummy

      He could have just decided to step out for with some hookers.

      FIFY, NNTT.

  • poncho_pilot

    Stevlic was just letting the Free Market handle how and when he got laid. his wife was just like Big Government with all of her "regulations".

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Yes, but aren't the whores just like the government, with all their fees.

      • PalinzADummy

        Touche!

      • poncho_pilot

        but if one whore is too expensive or their services are inadequate you can frequent another. the inadequate whores will be forced to improve their services or lower their prices. i think that's how it is supposed to work.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Ah, the invisible hand job.

        • PalinzADummy

          Ah'm sure, son. ;-)

          • poncho_pilot

            no one is allowed to further upfist my original comment. it needs to stay at 69 forever in honor of Stevlic.

  • Sue4466

    I'm guessing, but is this good news for Herman Cain?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Was he pimping in Chicago last year?

    • PalinzADummy

      And terrible news for Obama, I'm sure, somehow.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    …if this is a non-issue; if this has been "dealt with" and everyone has "moved forward", then you might consider showing up at your event, you pussy.

    • Gorillionaire

      A+

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        SO IS YOUR PICTURE, HOLY SWEET GOD.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Hey, is that that former basketball dude?

  • Antispandex

    "…Stevlic is that he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism."

    But don't we all? Really?

    • SexySmurf

      I love both equally which is why I only have sex with prostitutes dressed like Betsy Ross.

      • jus_wonderin

        Ya know, I ordered the Betsy Ross and Uncle Sam showed up at the door. Of course, waste not want not but I do have limits.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        I only jerk off into American flags.

      • emmelemm

        Does that cost extra?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I limit myself to sex with patriotic prostitutes.

      • GOPCrusher

        Oddly enough, I only hire prostitutes that are willing to engage in acts that start with the name of an American city or state.

        • PalinzADummy

          Holy mother of god, you've gone and Cleveland Steamered, haven'tchu?

      • Negropolis

        I can see the solicitation right now:

        "Show me your birf certificate, whore!"

    • PalinzADummy

      Well, yeah, but most of us are honest about it.

  • OKthennext

    He can win a Senate seat here in Louisiana now.

    • jus_wonderin

      OT, OK, but, where in the state do you live?

      • OKthennext

        If you're a stalker, I hope it's a good kind.

        The smallish city that is holding Festivals Acadiens in two weeks.

        You?

        • jus_wonderin

          Grin. Nah, haven't stalked in years. Okay, maybe a year.

          Family has a farm NWLa near the Texas line. Shreveport: the unfun part of the state.

          • samsuncle

            Good to know that I'm not the only Wonketteer from Louisiana (Pineville). I had a friend that used to say that he didn't like Shreveport because it was too close to Arkansas and the people there thought they were Texans!

          • jus_wonderin

            That's funny, because I was just discussing this with my Mom on the weekend visit to the farm. Shreveport identifies more with Dallas than New Orleans (in a kind of negative way). Maybe it is that we have I20 running over to Dallas, and didn't have I49 until more recently. But, you are right! My Mom is from NJ. She makes jokes that La is the NJ of the south. But, she loves it and her home of now 60+ years.

          • elviouslyqueer

            You're from Pineville? Bless your heart… not north enough to be Arkansas, not Cajun enough to be Ville Platte.

          • samsuncle

            The Mason-Fontenot line runs through Pineville.

          • elviouslyqueer

            I can't diss y'all too much. The best boudin I ever ate was in some no-name grocery store in Alex. And on the definite plus side, you're just down the road from Lecompte. Mmmm, Lea's.

          • OKthennext

            unfun part. True that. At least it's not on fire. Yet.

            Best to stay south of the I-10 line in my book.

        • elviouslyqueer

          COONASS IN DA HOUSE! (And before you go all "I am NOT a coonass," I went to high school at NISH, so I'm allowed to throw it out there.) Btw, LFY is a fun little city… kept me from going completely insane in the Queen City on the Teche.

        • Terry

          I lived in that smallish city for years. I still miss Dwyer's

          • OKthennext

            Could send you a Dwyer's go-box, but your coronaries would hate me.

  • jus_wonderin

    There's yer family values, right there. I bet he chose a hooker that was tax free.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    1. That's ancient history.

    2. On many days in 2010 and 2011, Mr. Stevlic has not had sex with any prostitutes at all.

    3. There are many prostitutes in the greater Chicago area that Mr. Stevlic has not shtupped. At all.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      Yeah, Gawker, it isn't like he's been caught this year, and it's over half way through.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Does it please you to employ little girls or little boys
    Nasty habits, nasty habits
    Do you like to romp and play by yourself when they're away
    Nasty affair what do I care
    Do you peek at magazines filled with doggies and leather queens
    Nasty habits, nasty habits
    Tell me your secrets that no one should hear
    Whisper them softly into my ear I won't tell, I won't tell

    People act so proper when they're going 'bout their business
    Cup of coffee, lfriendly conversation
    'Til they get home,
    'Til they get home

    Turn the phone off, lock the door and shut the curtains
    Make sure that the neighbors are without suspicion
    No one will know
    No one will know
    Nasty habits I must condone
    No one knows what I do when I'm all alone
    Nasty habits I'm so ashamed

    • http://wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      This is not the first time
      You tried to get away
      This is not a party
      Where people know your name…

    • Pithaughn

      Ha "magazines" this is 2011 ya know. Your poem needs a new verse with "Google Incognito" as the iambic parameter rhymer, or whatever you poets are calling "rhymes with" these days.

  • GregComlish

    "My name is Steve. The guy I lick is also named Steve."

    • jus_wonderin

      Steve, son of Stevlik?

  • Pragmatist2

    I think the right thing to do here is to makes lost of comments in right wing web sites about this "gay hooker" scandal. The fact that we don't know is irrelevant. On those sites ignorance of the actual facts is regarded as a virtue

    • Chichikovovich

      Now that you mention it, I don't see anything in that report to indicate that the hooker is still *alive*.

      • Pragmatist2

        Good point. So "Gay dead hooker." Should we throw in "Negro"?

  • ProgressiveInga

    Weiner tweets or GTFO.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Probably shops at Target.

  • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Hey, we're all human beings, prone to the same foibles and weaknesses. It's just about time to start showing a bit more tolerance for the fallible human condition.

    And once this guy mends his ways with the love and support of his closest friends, family and lobbyists, he can get back to the truly important business of demonizing those dirty, godless, red liberals.

    • DaRooster

      It ain't the hookers… it's the Tea Baggin' aspect.

    • Negropolis

      God, you almost had my blood pressure at a dangerous level before I read the last sentence.

  • baconzgood

    June 2010= ancient history for tea party.

    Obama's grand ma spitting on the sidewalk in 1936= Proves Obama is Hitler.

    Mark that down Emerica.

    • MOG2410

      on their timeline of history (dinosaurs with people and all) this IS ancient history.

      • DaRooster

        It is so old that you can't prove it with your… science.

  • Chichikovovich

    "Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” "

    Didn't pull out eh? Liar.

  • SorosBot

    So is it going to be Cocktober again? Oh please oh please..

    • Radiodead

      Or Kochtober.

      • Negropolis

        I'm partial to Pepsitober, myself.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Off to a running start!!!

  • user-of-owls

    You may be 'moving forward,' Steve, but you probably should keep one eye on your back. And another on the large cutlery.

  • paris biltong

    Good Old Prostitutes! What would we do without them?

    • jus_wonderin

      We'd then have to resort to young prostitutes??

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Have you ever tried to get a young prostitute to dress up as Betsy Ross? Not worth it.

        • jus_wonderin

          And, on second thought, it probably wouldn't be convincing. The old ones have that distinctive moth ball smell.

    • PalinzADummy

      Look for a cure for cancer instead of VD?

  • prommie

    Have I ever told you about the time I got rolled by a transvestite hooker?

    • ProgressiveInga

      Eddie Murphy is that you? ✌

      • prommie

        Doug Stanhope. Funny fucker.

    • crybabyboehner

      did you wake up with two black eyes and a bloody asshole?

    • GOPCrusher

      If I only had a dollar for every time that has happened…..

      • DaRooster

        Would it be worth rolling you again?

    • Limeylizzie

      My late-lamented father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's shortly after he disappeared, aged 86, for 3 days and was found 50 miles away from his home , he was found in a motel where he had spent the whole time with two hookers and they had stolen his car but only to drive home.

      • DaRooster

        "Alzheimer's… yeah… Alzheimer's… that's what I have."

        (I might have to try that one someday.)

        • Limeylizzie

          My favourite part of the story is that it was TWO hookers! Excellent way to go.

  • user-of-owls

    Hey Steve!

    Tapped Enough Already?

    • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

      Don't punish the blow jerb creaturs!!1!1!!

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    So Cocktoberfest is off to a slow start.

    I'm sure Blovember will more than make up for it.
    ~

    • prommie

      I'm praying for a good Blowvember. God knows, I could use one.

  • WhatTheHeck

    The devil made him do it, will be his defense.

    Right now, he's spending more time with his family.

    • jus_wonderin

      I wish some of these long suffering wifeys would take a Toro to their husband's cheating midsections. That might make one stop and consider the consequences the next time.

      • PalinzADummy

        Toro? Fatty tuna belly?

        Sorry, just came back from stuffing my face with sashimi.

        • jus_wonderin

          Grin. I should have said Lawn Boy but that has two meanings too, when we are discussing a Conservative.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      …and beating off in the shower, because momma's still not givin' him any.

    • lochnessmonster

      No he's a sex addict and his wife is allergic to fishnet stockings.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I thought the Tea Party was all about how tax-payers are getting fucked, not about how they're getting laid.

  • Radiodead

    I'd bet my left nut these teabagger fucks are poor tippers too

  • An_Outhouse

    You don't get to be chief teabagger without practice.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    There's also the latent argument which says Teabaggers want government out of their sex lives too — because, after all, "any government involvement is too much government involvement."

    So maybe this is where they endorse the anti-drug-war theme again. I'm on that, stat.

    • prommie

      I've never snorted blow off the taut derriere of an expensive hooker, but, well, the idea of doing this, and having both the hooker and the blow be legal, well, this is the only positive aspect of the libertarian message that I can see.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        THIS IS CHANGE I CAN BELIEVE IN

  • jus_wonderin

    "mysteriously went AWOL"

    I bet it was AOL. And yes, Steve S is old school. And, lame.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Bah — whores passing money around amongst themselve shouldn't be a crime anyway.

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      The problem isn't the hooker who spreads for bread but rather it's the asshole who spreads for Koch.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The most shocking part is that he was caught with an adult female.

    • SorosBot

      I don't know; the arrest record just said that he was arrested for soliciting prostitution, not from whom. It could easily have been a man

  • DahBoner

    Snorting coke off a hooker's ass is my dream, too.

    Taxed Enough Already, her ass!

  • mereoblivion

    As the picture suggests, his nickname is "Stevedore Stevlic."

  • Mahousu

    How much dick would a Stevlic lick if a Stevlic could lick Steve?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Awesome. WIN.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    All you need to do is look at his hair to know he's a perv.

  • BarackMyWorld

    At least he didn't break the law like that Anthony Weiner guy did. Wait…what?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Hors d'oeuvres Steve, or whore's herbs? Traditional Teatard appetizers like pigs in a blanket or wuz it some boo and a line of blow after a bit of wokka wokka?

  • Redhead

    aaaaaaaaaaaand Cocktober begins!

    But was the prostitute of legal age? Were there any weapons involved? Or diapers, or airport bathroom stalls, or roofies or green balloons (and I know I'm forgetting a few here…)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, Prommie, per your earlier lament—it ain't specifically buttsex, but it could be.

  • Come here a minute

    How does Matthew Broderick find the time for a second life as a hooker-loving teapartier?

    • baconzgood

      He's Ferris Bueller. If he can sing on a float while ducking Edward R. Rooney all before his parents get home he can do anything!

    • SorosBot

      Well he is married to a horse…

      • GOPCrusher

        WIN!

        • Rotundo_

          Yeah, from some angles she is scary. You know the angles, the ones you can see her from?

          • Negropolis

            You are so cruel. lol

            I always feel bad making fun of her because she's such an incredibly nice, decent, and funny person.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Wait. I must've missed that memo. Are we calling "beards" horses now?

        • jus_wonderin

          Don't ya just love seeing language evolve right in front of ya? These are the days of rapid change.

      • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

        Hey, Sarah, why the long face?

  • L188188

    I always wondered what an UN-"prepared statement" would look like.

    • jus_wonderin

      Anything by that gifted orator, Sarah Palin????

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      like this:

      [as background noise] "Who's on the phone? Gokker? Who the fuck is Gokker?! I don't know any fuckin' "Gokker" so tell 'em I ain't here."

    • Radiodead

      Preparation H?

  • baconzgood

    Tee-Hee

    “Internal Matter"

  • teebob2000

    Steve Steve-lick??? Sounds like a fun Saturday night to me… if your name is Steve.

    • jus_wonderin

      You won me with that.

    • Radiodead

      Is he a contortionist who can lick his junk, or, was Bukowski definitive on this matter?

  • Poindexter718

    Not sure why he couldn't attend the TP event since it is comprised of patriots from all over the political spectrum who have set aside divisive social issues and joined forces out of common concern about the fiscal trajectory of our government.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Why is everyone being so hard on Mr. Stevlic? After all, the founders had no problems with prostitutes, and I challenge anyone to point out where in the Constitution they said they did.

    • LetUsBray

      Problems? I understand Benjamin Franklin was of the opinion that they were awesome.

  • MrFizzy

    Stelvic backwards is Civlets, which is a type of gum that washes the taste of hooker santorum out of your mouth.

  • metamarcisf

    Do you know who would be perfect for the TV Movie role of pardoned killer Amanda Knox?

    • jus_wonderin

      I haven't followed this case closely. Sarah Michelle Geller? Any of the Baldwins?

    • Indiepalin

      Bristol Palin?

    • GOPCrusher

      Miley Cyrus?

    • PalinzADummy

      Hitler?

    • SexySmurf

      What? Hayden Panettiere isn't good enough for you people?

      • finallyhappy

        I don't watch enough TV- I guess there must be a trilogy on Casey Anthony by now

    • user-of-owls

      OH NO!! THE "YOU KNOW WHO ELSE" SETUP HAS MUTATED!!

      RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

  • meatlofer

    It was because he has a Mantis in his Pantis!

  • proudgrampa

    Chicago. Upton Sinclair didn't call it the "Jungle" for nothing.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Just to parse this out for all of you new to politics:

    “My family and I dealt with this matter and we've successfully moved forward in our relationship,” Stevlic said in a prepared statement. In other words, his wife has agreed to join him in a threesome with a prostitute, or he has given her free range to find her own prostitute.

    “The charges surrounding this incident were dropped against me over a year ago" The prostitute was not under age.

    "and with all the issues we are facing in our country right now," How can you forget that the president is black?

    "I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.” What part of Black, Kenyan, Muslim, Socialist President do you not understand!!!

    Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” Anal was involved.

    • jus_wonderin

      I love how you summaried the story. Excellent work. It's like I was listening to a bizarro NPR/Cookie Roberts (who I love) break down an issue.

    • PalinzADummy

      Damn, Lionel[redacted], it's like you done got a degree in translatin' Teabaggerese to English!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Also at The Patch: Noted deadbeat dad Joe Walsh declares, "Grab something."
    http://palatine.patch.com/articles/joe-walsh-at-t

    • GOPCrusher

      How could afford to go to Schaumburg when he can't pay his child support? Think he made a side trip to Arlington Heights to bet the ponies?

    • PalinzADummy

      I got what he can grab right fuckin' heah.

  • Gorillionaire

    I am not going to bother to look, but does this guy have anything resembling a paying job, or does he just do teabagger shit 24/7? Because it would be cool to know that he spends teabagger donations both on hookers and for the legal defense to get his ass off the hook once in a while.

    • Rotundo_

      Just the thought of Koch and idiot money paying for this guy getting blown or whatever warms one right up doesn't it. Money well spent folks, money well spent. When the asshole in question siphons it away from kids with cancer or muscular dystrophy it's a tragedy and you want to kick them in the ass, but when they take money from rubes helping billionaires accumulate more wealth and make the country a shithole for their own greedy purposes, it just blows a little sunshine right up one's asscrack, like a warm breeze. Ahhhhh.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Windfall profits from sales to Iran.

  • equitywolf

    if he teabagged the hook, he is absolved, somehow.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Wouldn't teabagging a hook be extremely painful?

  • HistoriCat

    Why can't a guy just pay someone to talk about baseball for a few hours without the government interfering? Damn it – leave this poor man alone!

    • PalinzADummy

      Ah, yes. Young Kameryn had a different take on that talk, as I recall.

  • Callyson

    he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism
    But Kirsten, sex with prostitutes *is* patriotism. Go USA!

  • JackObin

    "My family and I have dealt with this matter and we've successfully moved forward in our relationship." What a pussy.

    • jus_wonderin

      Aw, what a treasure. This, after he successfully moved forward, then backward, then repeated that for 10 minutes in a relationship with his hooker.

  • Guppy06

    Did "dealing with it" involve blood tests?

    If the charges were dropped against him, what about against the working girl?

    Also, quotation marks and alt-text don't mix well.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Charges were dropped" – like his pants. He got into a first-time offender diversion program, and he's bragging about it?

    At least his wife is better off than that poor woman married to the Illinois GNoP candidate Mr. Obama ran against. This guy's wife didn't have to join a sex club.

    • Indiepalin

      Resistance is futile

      • jus_wonderin

        She can borg me anytime.

  • DaRooster

    Why do all of these Tea-maggots have beady little eyes and ferret faces?

    • jus_wonderin

      That sounds like the set up to a joke. Did they go into a bar???

      • DaRooster

        Why do all of these Tea-maggots have beady little eyes and ferret faces?

        A. So normal people will avoid them and they can go on ripping off folks and lying to them about the despicable shit they do.

        (As for a funny joke… not my best effort)

    • user-of-owls

      Well that's just an outright lie. Most of them have Moon Pie faces. With dead little beady eyes.

  • poncho_pilot

    so…

    Big Government = Bad.
    Big Pimpin' = Good.

    …???

  • glamourdammerung

    I was more impressed with the photoshop of famous homosexual Andy Breitbart on the photo in the Gawker article. It must have took a while to remove the extra chins.

  • rickmaci

    Oh my! Looks like he will need time at a TeaTard re-education center. Lessons begin with Genesis. Adam and Eve not Adam and STEVE! ROFLMAO.

  • HelmutNewton

    “My family and I dealt with this matter…"

    What'd they do? Murder the rent-boy?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Probably signed a post-nup.

  • Rotundo_

    Best comment on Gawker that I saw was "Well he *was* meeting with a (blow) job creator." Great line, I wish I'd have come up with it…

  • user-of-owls

    Damn. No matter how many different ways I try it, I still can't get Google to translate "Stevelic" into "Bobbitt."

  • rocktonsam

    Out side of being a bunch of racists, homophobes,idiots and hypocrites, these teabaggers sure know how to PARRRRTY.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Geez! It's Adam and Evelic, not Adam and Stevlic!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    He'd been arrested less than two months earlier, on June 25th, for soliciting a prostitute at 1600 South Killborn Avenue.

    16th and Kilbourn on the near West side of Chicago seems like a very insalubrious place to pick up a streetwalker– Stevlic must have known it was a good corner for a cheap blowjob.

  • owhatever

    Tea Baggers should thank the Hookers Union of America (HUA) for helping so many Republicans spend more time with their families.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Just another case of the government punishing a job creator.

  • comrad_darkness

    Values Voters must <3 this guy.

  • Negropolis

    So, how many Newtons does this measure on the Gingrich Scale? Given what little information we know, I'd give this maybe a 5 out of 10 Newts, but this can be revised dependent upon what further information we receive.

  • DesertTed

    The charges were dropped because it's not a crime if you pay a gay man to let you blow him.

  • ttommyunger

    What is it about these Right-Wing Family Values dickwads? They get busted for who knows what and their wives just shrug it off a everything goes along like it never happened. My wife would shoot me AFTER she cut my dick off. And no way could I remain in my neighborhood after such a shaming; but then, I possess a sense of shame. Hmmm, wait, I'm beginning to understand….