REPUBLICAN FAMILY VALUES  3:25 pm October 3, 2011

Tea Party Leader’s Hooker Sex Scandal Unfairly Ruining All His Fun

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

His last name is pronounced Chicago teabagger organizer-goon king Steve Stevlic mysteriously went AWOL at his own TEACON lunatic festival that he put together this weekend after Gawker reported that he was arrested in 2010 for being a hooker-sex fiend who also, like all such “family values people,” compensated by screaming profusely at a Democrat sex cheater on Twitter. Neat how that “moral math” works, right? Despite having absolved himself thus, Stevlic was still a no-show at his teabagger demon circus, so from now on what we can all say about Steve Stevlic is that he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism. Stevlic meanwhile meekly sent out a lecturing “official statement” from his hiding cave compound asking what everyone’s problem is, why care about a silly sex scandal more than “issues,” etc. Except that judging from our daily Google News homepage, sex scandals are actually the Only Issue that America cares about. So, uh, good luck with that argument, Steve!

From Patch.com:

TEACON 2011 organizer Steve Stevlic did not attend the second day of the conference he helped organize amid a report on Gawker that he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

The arrest occurred more than year ago in June 2010, Tea Party officials stated.

“My family and I dealt with this matter and we’ve successfully moved forward in our relationship,” Stevlic said in a prepared statement. “The charges surrounding this incident were dropped against me over a year ago and with all the issues we are facing in our country right now, I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.”

Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” When asked if Stevlic had resigned from the Tea Party, Kohn had no comment.

And absolutely NONE of this reporting does anything to resolve the most important issue, which is whether this was a gay hooker or just a boring old lady hooker. AMERICA NEEDS TO KNOW. [Patch/Gawker]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 260 comments }

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Judging from Stevlic's pic, I'd lay odds it was a male prostitute.

Beowoof October 3, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Oh yeah he is a wide stance guy snorting meth and cock in the Denny's restroom.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Wow, I though I had done pretty much anything that could be done with a cock, except for the old back-door action, but I have never snorted one.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I think a combination of a real big nose and a real small cock are required. But that's just a guess.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Horrible combination.

738838 October 3, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Lizzie, let me guess…you are a brunette right?

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Not so much, dark reddish blonde.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Actually, I think he snorts meth OFF cock in the Denny's restroom.

finallyhappy October 3, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Yuck- Dennys- gross

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I'd lay odds it was a male prostitute.

I've heard you'd lay just about anything, Elv.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:24 pm

I'm pretty sure Elviously restricts the hot action to boys only, dood.

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Now Lascaux, you must have me confused with any Palin including, but not limited to, Trigg and Willow's unborn fetus.

starfanglednut October 3, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Ba dum dum.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Yeah, he's kinda hovering between gay-leaning bisexual and TOTALLY FUCKING GAY on my GaydarMeter.

Flat_Earther October 3, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Picher or catcher?

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Yes.

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Picher sounds French. That's so gay.

Gratuitous World October 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm

so by "internal matter," he means 'chlamydia,' correct?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I thought that ment "anal."

El Pinche October 3, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Ooooh, Chlamydias are sooo pretty !

Barb October 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Do Tea Party hookers demand to be paid in gold?

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

No, that's the hookers that hang out at the Libertarian rave-ups. Those girls have taken a lot of cherries, believe you me.

WhatTheHeck October 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Tea Party Hookers® do it for the freedumbs and Family Values.

baconzgood October 3, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Canned food and any book telling you about ZOG.

WunkRocker October 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Ameros for all my ho's!

horsedreamer_1 October 5, 2011 at 10:08 pm

I keep my alcahuete hand strong.

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:24 am

Teabaggers don't do anything for free.

ManchuCandidate October 3, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Ron Paul Ameros for Invisible Hand Jobs.

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm

The Invisible Handjobs would be a good name for a libertarian punk band.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:28 pm

It sort sounds like something Jeebus could pull off. Like walking on water and that fish tale thingy.

Not_So_Much October 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Whore Diamonds or GTFO.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:25 pm

They're not *worth* that much, Barb. Unless you mean "gold from old tooth fillings."

nonbeliever7 October 3, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I'd guess the Tea Party hookers are much smarter than their clients. Aftere a few meaningless compliments ("you really remind me of Ronnie Reagan"), they get twice the cash for half the effort.

littlebigdaddy October 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Is there a Rick Perry angle here?

Gratuitous World October 3, 2011 at 4:21 pm

reports are he just threw up all over himself

OneYieldRegular October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

He may want to seek help from MoveOn.org.

Indiepalin October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

So if you love sex with prostitutes more than you love patriotism, you might just be a teabagger.

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Or Charlie Sheen.

Crank_Tango October 3, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I fucking hate patriotism.

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:25 am

"So if you love sex with prostitutes more than you love patriotism, you might just be a teabagger man."

/fixed

CZL October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

The only internal matter here is whether he pulled out, thus committing Onan's sin.

I've got my Stone of Judgment ready.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Dorothy Parker had a budgerigar called Onan, because he did spill his seed.

proudgrampa October 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm

My favorite Dorothy Parker story: asked to use horticulture in a sentence, she said, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

She is one woman I would love to meet, if I could go back in time.

LesBontemps October 3, 2011 at 4:43 pm

"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

–DP

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:27 pm

"Pearls before swine."

–DP, when her arch enemy Clare Booth Luce stepped aside to let her enter a door first, whilst purring "Age before beauty."

finallyhappy October 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Is it an Onan- like sin if he pulled out of a guy's butt?

prommie October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Yes! Yesssss! Sex, dirty dirty sex! And the funniest kind of sex of all, unsuccesful attempts at sex! ha ha, I say, Ha hahahahahaha! Funny Teatard can't even hire a hooker succesfully! Can there be anything much more humiliating than getting busted for mopery?

OzoneTom October 3, 2011 at 3:50 pm

And here I thought that that "couldn't organize a hand-job in a whore-house" was just a quaint expression…

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Oh Prommie, what a dirty, dirty little lawyer you are, to be sure.

proudgrampa October 3, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Leave it to you, Mr. Attorney, to think of that! Well played, sir.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Not to pry, or anything, prommie — oh well, WTF, I *am* fucking prying — but — are you getting enough of the old slap-and-tickle? Because there's something downright ravenous about that comment, dood.

DaSandman October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

And of course" successfully moving on with our relationship" means he is now fucking sheep.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Win.

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:29 pm

In other words, spending more time with the family.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Um … somehow, I don't think most sheep would give that yoick the time of day.

metamarcisf October 3, 2011 at 3:33 pm

If it wasn't for all the issues facing this country right now, this story would deserve a headline.

Buzz Feedback October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

"The Stevllic" involves a guy in a Viking outfit and a mason jar of possum fat.

Terry October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

He's from Chicago. It's a jar of bacon grease.

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 4:30 pm

And a 16 inch softball.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Doesn't possum fat … smell? As in, stink, of course.

Chillwaver October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Ha Ha! Is the festival's name really TEACON? Prommie was right about these clowns being beyond snark…

baconzgood October 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm

That works on sooooo many levels know how they loved to teabag america and have cons like Sarah.

Generation[redacted] October 3, 2011 at 4:03 pm

It's worth going to see William Shatner do his spoken word act.

fuflans October 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm

i was driving back from ohare this morning (driving my boy to a family funeral) and i heard this on the radio in context of "only hermann showed up" and i thought: i can't wait to read wonkette on TEACON.

veritass October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.”

Indeed. Sex is pretty internal.

Steverino247 October 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Unless you're sword fighting with hard-on's or something…

Sue4466 October 3, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Is Steve Stevlic is his porn name?

Chichikovovich October 3, 2011 at 3:42 pm

He dances under the name "Stevedore Stevie Stevlic".

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I don't know about that, but they say don't trust a guy with two first names. Especially if they're both 'Steve.'

Oblios_Cap October 3, 2011 at 3:35 pm

"…with all the issues we are facing in our country right now, I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.”

I like it. I'll have to remember to use that next time I get in trouble.

"Officer, with all the issues we are facing in our country now, I not sure why this kilo of coke merits me getting arrested."

"Okay, sir. I'll let you go this time with a warning."

What could possibly go wrong?

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Well, it seems to have worked out pretty well for those guys that wrecked the global economy and stole all our money.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Yeah, but I'll bet they were Republicans.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

It'll take me a while to complete the list, but I'll get right on it.

NorthStarSpanx October 3, 2011 at 9:22 pm

It worked for GOP State Senator Suzi Schmidt when she tipped off 9-1-1 that they should ignore what they'll ultimately move forward in their relationship from. Not retreating, but going in a different direction or reloadin or something patriotic-y.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Yeah, until it leaked to the whole world that she whupped her old man upside the head with a wireless phone, bit him hard enough to get blood all down his front, rammed her car into his repeatedly, and kicked him out of the house on a frosty Illinois Xmas morning. I don't think ol' Suzi will be having much relationship-mending going on, given that you need a relationship to do that, and it looks like she done pooped all over hers.

Geez, those Republican women, as our own beautiful LimeyLizzie points out, they are YEW-GLY!

GregComlish October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Just because he was AWOL doesn't mean he was deliberately avoiding the teabagger conference. He could have just decided to step out for some hookers.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:34 pm

He could have just decided to step out for with some hookers.

FIFY, NNTT.

poncho_pilot October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Stevlic was just letting the Free Market handle how and when he got laid. his wife was just like Big Government with all of her "regulations".

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Yes, but aren't the whores just like the government, with all their fees.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Touche!

poncho_pilot October 3, 2011 at 5:50 pm

but if one whore is too expensive or their services are inadequate you can frequent another. the inadequate whores will be forced to improve their services or lower their prices. i think that's how it is supposed to work.

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Ah, the invisible hand job.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Ah'm sure, son. ;-)

poncho_pilot October 4, 2011 at 7:22 am

no one is allowed to further upfist my original comment. it needs to stay at 69 forever in honor of Stevlic.

Sue4466 October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I'm guessing, but is this good news for Herman Cain?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Was he pimping in Chicago last year?

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:35 pm

And terrible news for Obama, I'm sure, somehow.

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

…if this is a non-issue; if this has been "dealt with" and everyone has "moved forward", then you might consider showing up at your event, you pussy.

Gorillionaire October 3, 2011 at 4:37 pm

A+

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 5:03 pm

SO IS YOUR PICTURE, HOLY SWEET GOD.

Lascauxcaveman October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Hey, is that that former basketball dude?

Antispandex October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

"…Stevlic is that he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism."

But don't we all? Really?

SexySmurf October 3, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I love both equally which is why I only have sex with prostitutes dressed like Betsy Ross.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Ya know, I ordered the Betsy Ross and Uncle Sam showed up at the door. Of course, waste not want not but I do have limits.

imissopus October 3, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I only jerk off into American flags.

emmelemm October 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Does that cost extra?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I limit myself to sex with patriotic prostitutes.

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Oddly enough, I only hire prostitutes that are willing to engage in acts that start with the name of an American city or state.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Holy mother of god, you've gone and Cleveland Steamered, haven'tchu?

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:36 am

I can see the solicitation right now:

"Show me your birf certificate, whore!"

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Well, yeah, but most of us are honest about it.

OKthennext October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

He can win a Senate seat here in Louisiana now.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:08 pm

OT, OK, but, where in the state do you live?

OKthennext October 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm

If you're a stalker, I hope it's a good kind.

The smallish city that is holding Festivals Acadiens in two weeks.

You?

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Grin. Nah, haven't stalked in years. Okay, maybe a year.

Family has a farm NWLa near the Texas line. Shreveport: the unfun part of the state.

samsuncle October 3, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Good to know that I'm not the only Wonketteer from Louisiana (Pineville). I had a friend that used to say that he didn't like Shreveport because it was too close to Arkansas and the people there thought they were Texans!

OKthennext October 3, 2011 at 4:52 pm

unfun part. True that. At least it's not on fire. Yet.

Best to stay south of the I-10 line in my book.

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:11 pm

COONASS IN DA HOUSE! (And before you go all "I am NOT a coonass," I went to high school at NISH, so I'm allowed to throw it out there.) Btw, LFY is a fun little city… kept me from going completely insane in the Queen City on the Teche.

Terry October 3, 2011 at 5:12 pm

I lived in that smallish city for years. I still miss Dwyer's

OKthennext October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Could send you a Dwyer's go-box, but your coronaries would hate me.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

There's yer family values, right there. I bet he chose a hooker that was tax free.

Spurning Beer October 3, 2011 at 3:38 pm

1. That's ancient history.

2. On many days in 2010 and 2011, Mr. Stevlic has not had sex with any prostitutes at all.

3. There are many prostitutes in the greater Chicago area that Mr. Stevlic has not shtupped. At all.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Yeah, Gawker, it isn't like he's been caught this year, and it's over half way through.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Does it please you to employ little girls or little boys
Nasty habits, nasty habits
Do you like to romp and play by yourself when they're away
Nasty affair what do I care
Do you peek at magazines filled with doggies and leather queens
Nasty habits, nasty habits
Tell me your secrets that no one should hear
Whisper them softly into my ear I won't tell, I won't tell

People act so proper when they're going 'bout their business
Cup of coffee, lfriendly conversation
'Til they get home,
'Til they get home

Turn the phone off, lock the door and shut the curtains
Make sure that the neighbors are without suspicion
No one will know
No one will know
Nasty habits I must condone
No one knows what I do when I'm all alone
Nasty habits I'm so ashamed

WordSaladNation October 3, 2011 at 4:41 pm

This is not the first time
You tried to get away
This is not a party
Where people know your name…

Pithaughn October 3, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Ha "magazines" this is 2011 ya know. Your poem needs a new verse with "Google Incognito" as the iambic parameter rhymer, or whatever you poets are calling "rhymes with" these days.

GregComlish October 3, 2011 at 3:39 pm

"My name is Steve. The guy I lick is also named Steve."

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Steve, son of Stevlik?

Pragmatist2 October 3, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I think the right thing to do here is to makes lost of comments in right wing web sites about this "gay hooker" scandal. The fact that we don't know is irrelevant. On those sites ignorance of the actual facts is regarded as a virtue

Chichikovovich October 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Now that you mention it, I don't see anything in that report to indicate that the hooker is still *alive*.

Pragmatist2 October 3, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Good point. So "Gay dead hooker." Should we throw in "Negro"?

ProgressiveInga October 3, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Weiner tweets or GTFO.

DerrickWildcat October 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Probably shops at Target.

slowhansolo October 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Hey, we're all human beings, prone to the same foibles and weaknesses. It's just about time to start showing a bit more tolerance for the fallible human condition.

And once this guy mends his ways with the love and support of his closest friends, family and lobbyists, he can get back to the truly important business of demonizing those dirty, godless, red liberals.

DaRooster October 3, 2011 at 5:43 pm

It ain't the hookers… it's the Tea Baggin' aspect.

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:40 am

God, you almost had my blood pressure at a dangerous level before I read the last sentence.

baconzgood October 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm

June 2010= ancient history for tea party.

Obama's grand ma spitting on the sidewalk in 1936= Proves Obama is Hitler.

Mark that down Emerica.

MOG2410 October 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm

on their timeline of history (dinosaurs with people and all) this IS ancient history.

DaRooster October 3, 2011 at 5:45 pm

It is so old that you can't prove it with your… science.

Chichikovovich October 3, 2011 at 3:43 pm

"Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” "

Didn't pull out eh? Liar.

SorosBot October 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm

So is it going to be Cocktober again? Oh please oh please..

Radiodead October 3, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Or Kochtober.

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:41 am

I'm partial to Pepsitober, myself.

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 3, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Off to a running start!!!

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm

You may be 'moving forward,' Steve, but you probably should keep one eye on your back. And another on the large cutlery.

paris biltong October 3, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Good Old Prostitutes! What would we do without them?

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 3:53 pm

We'd then have to resort to young prostitutes??

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Have you ever tried to get a young prostitute to dress up as Betsy Ross? Not worth it.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

And, on second thought, it probably wouldn't be convincing. The old ones have that distinctive moth ball smell.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Look for a cure for cancer instead of VD?

prommie October 3, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Have I ever told you about the time I got rolled by a transvestite hooker?

ProgressiveInga October 3, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Eddie Murphy is that you? ✌

prommie October 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Doug Stanhope. Funny fucker.

crybabyboehner October 3, 2011 at 4:34 pm

did you wake up with two black eyes and a bloody asshole?

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 4:58 pm

If I only had a dollar for every time that has happened…..

DaRooster October 3, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Would it be worth rolling you again?

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 8:08 pm

My late-lamented father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's shortly after he disappeared, aged 86, for 3 days and was found 50 miles away from his home , he was found in a motel where he had spent the whole time with two hookers and they had stolen his car but only to drive home.

DaRooster October 4, 2011 at 10:34 am

"Alzheimer's… yeah… Alzheimer's… that's what I have."

(I might have to try that one someday.)

Limeylizzie October 4, 2011 at 10:42 am

My favourite part of the story is that it was TWO hookers! Excellent way to go.

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Hey Steve!

Tapped Enough Already?

Chillwaver October 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Don't punish the blow jerb creaturs!!1!1!!

ifthethunderdontgetya October 3, 2011 at 3:46 pm

So Cocktoberfest is off to a slow start.

I'm sure Blovember will more than make up for it.
~

prommie October 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I'm praying for a good Blowvember. God knows, I could use one.

WhatTheHeck October 3, 2011 at 3:48 pm

The devil made him do it, will be his defense.

Right now, he's spending more time with his family.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I wish some of these long suffering wifeys would take a Toro to their husband's cheating midsections. That might make one stop and consider the consequences the next time.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Toro? Fatty tuna belly?

Sorry, just came back from stuffing my face with sashimi.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Grin. I should have said Lawn Boy but that has two meanings too, when we are discussing a Conservative.

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 4:01 pm

…and beating off in the shower, because momma's still not givin' him any.

lochnessmonster October 3, 2011 at 5:09 pm

No he's a sex addict and his wife is allergic to fishnet stockings.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I thought the Tea Party was all about how tax-payers are getting fucked, not about how they're getting laid.

Radiodead October 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I'd bet my left nut these teabagger fucks are poor tippers too

An_Outhouse October 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm

You don't get to be chief teabagger without practice.

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 3:59 pm

There's also the latent argument which says Teabaggers want government out of their sex lives too — because, after all, "any government involvement is too much government involvement."

So maybe this is where they endorse the anti-drug-war theme again. I'm on that, stat.

prommie October 3, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I've never snorted blow off the taut derriere of an expensive hooker, but, well, the idea of doing this, and having both the hooker and the blow be legal, well, this is the only positive aspect of the libertarian message that I can see.

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 5:09 pm

THIS IS CHANGE I CAN BELIEVE IN

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

"mysteriously went AWOL"

I bet it was AOL. And yes, Steve S is old school. And, lame.

SayItWithWookies October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Bah — whores passing money around amongst themselve shouldn't be a crime anyway.

ManchuCandidate October 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm

The problem isn't the hooker who spreads for bread but rather it's the asshole who spreads for Koch.

ManchuCandidate October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

The most shocking part is that he was caught with an adult female.

SorosBot October 3, 2011 at 4:05 pm

I don't know; the arrest record just said that he was arrested for soliciting prostitution, not from whom. It could easily have been a man

DahBoner October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Snorting coke off a hooker's ass is my dream, too.

Taxed Enough Already, her ass!

mereoblivion October 3, 2011 at 4:01 pm

As the picture suggests, his nickname is "Stevedore Stevlic."

Mahousu October 3, 2011 at 4:01 pm

How much dick would a Stevlic lick if a Stevlic could lick Steve?

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Awesome. WIN.

Mort_Sinclair October 3, 2011 at 4:02 pm

All you need to do is look at his hair to know he's a perv.

BarackMyWorld October 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm

At least he didn't break the law like that Anthony Weiner guy did. Wait…what?

weejee October 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Hors d'oeuvres Steve, or whore's herbs? Traditional Teatard appetizers like pigs in a blanket or wuz it some boo and a line of blow after a bit of wokka wokka?

Redhead October 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm

aaaaaaaaaaaand Cocktober begins!

But was the prostitute of legal age? Were there any weapons involved? Or diapers, or airport bathroom stalls, or roofies or green balloons (and I know I'm forgetting a few here…)

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Well, Prommie, per your earlier lament—it ain't specifically buttsex, but it could be.

Come here a minute October 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

How does Matthew Broderick find the time for a second life as a hooker-loving teapartier?

baconzgood October 3, 2011 at 4:28 pm

He's Ferris Bueller. If he can sing on a float while ducking Edward R. Rooney all before his parents get home he can do anything!

SorosBot October 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Well he is married to a horse…

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 5:00 pm

WIN!

Rotundo_ October 3, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Yeah, from some angles she is scary. You know the angles, the ones you can see her from?

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:50 am

You are so cruel. lol

I always feel bad making fun of her because she's such an incredibly nice, decent, and funny person.

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Wait. I must've missed that memo. Are we calling "beards" horses now?

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Don't ya just love seeing language evolve right in front of ya? These are the days of rapid change.

donner_froh October 3, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Hey, Sarah, why the long face?

L188188 October 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I always wondered what an UN-"prepared statement" would look like.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Anything by that gifted orator, Sarah Palin????

KeepFnThatChicken October 3, 2011 at 5:18 pm

like this:

[as background noise] "Who's on the phone? Gokker? Who the fuck is Gokker?! I don't know any fuckin' "Gokker" so tell 'em I ain't here."

Radiodead October 3, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Preparation H?

baconzgood October 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Tee-Hee

“Internal Matter"

teebob2000 October 3, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Steve Steve-lick??? Sounds like a fun Saturday night to me… if your name is Steve.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:35 pm

You won me with that.

Radiodead October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Is he a contortionist who can lick his junk, or, was Bukowski definitive on this matter?

Poindexter718 October 3, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Not sure why he couldn't attend the TP event since it is comprised of patriots from all over the political spectrum who have set aside divisive social issues and joined forces out of common concern about the fiscal trajectory of our government.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Why is everyone being so hard on Mr. Stevlic? After all, the founders had no problems with prostitutes, and I challenge anyone to point out where in the Constitution they said they did.

LetUsBray October 3, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Problems? I understand Benjamin Franklin was of the opinion that they were awesome.

MrFizzy October 3, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Stelvic backwards is Civlets, which is a type of gum that washes the taste of hooker santorum out of your mouth.

metamarcisf October 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Do you know who would be perfect for the TV Movie role of pardoned killer Amanda Knox?

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I haven't followed this case closely. Sarah Michelle Geller? Any of the Baldwins?

Indiepalin October 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Bristol Palin?

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Miley Cyrus?

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Hitler?

SexySmurf October 3, 2011 at 5:59 pm

What? Hayden Panettiere isn't good enough for you people?

finallyhappy October 3, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I don't watch enough TV- I guess there must be a trilogy on Casey Anthony by now

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 6:33 pm

OH NO!! THE "YOU KNOW WHO ELSE" SETUP HAS MUTATED!!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

meatlofer October 3, 2011 at 4:32 pm

It was because he has a Mantis in his Pantis!

proudgrampa October 3, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Chicago. Upton Sinclair didn't call it the "Jungle" for nothing.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Just to parse this out for all of you new to politics:

“My family and I dealt with this matter and we've successfully moved forward in our relationship,” Stevlic said in a prepared statement. In other words, his wife has agreed to join him in a threesome with a prostitute, or he has given her free range to find her own prostitute.

“The charges surrounding this incident were dropped against me over a year ago" The prostitute was not under age.

"and with all the issues we are facing in our country right now," How can you forget that the president is black?

"I’m not sure why this deserves a headline.” What part of Black, Kenyan, Muslim, Socialist President do you not understand!!!

Chicago Tea Party spokesperson Eric Kohn said the issue was an “internal matter.” Anal was involved.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I love how you summaried the story. Excellent work. It's like I was listening to a bizarro NPR/Cookie Roberts (who I love) break down an issue.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Damn, Lionel[redacted], it's like you done got a degree in translatin' Teabaggerese to English!

Blueb4sunrise October 3, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Also at The Patch: Noted deadbeat dad Joe Walsh declares, "Grab something."
http://palatine.patch.com/articles/joe-walsh-at-t

GOPCrusher October 3, 2011 at 5:04 pm

How could afford to go to Schaumburg when he can't pay his child support? Think he made a side trip to Arlington Heights to bet the ponies?

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I got what he can grab right fuckin' heah.

Gorillionaire October 3, 2011 at 4:42 pm

I am not going to bother to look, but does this guy have anything resembling a paying job, or does he just do teabagger shit 24/7? Because it would be cool to know that he spends teabagger donations both on hookers and for the legal defense to get his ass off the hook once in a while.

Rotundo_ October 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Just the thought of Koch and idiot money paying for this guy getting blown or whatever warms one right up doesn't it. Money well spent folks, money well spent. When the asshole in question siphons it away from kids with cancer or muscular dystrophy it's a tragedy and you want to kick them in the ass, but when they take money from rubes helping billionaires accumulate more wealth and make the country a shithole for their own greedy purposes, it just blows a little sunshine right up one's asscrack, like a warm breeze. Ahhhhh.

Generation[redacted] October 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Windfall profits from sales to Iran.

equitywolf October 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

if he teabagged the hook, he is absolved, somehow.

Generation[redacted] October 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Wouldn't teabagging a hook be extremely painful?

HistoriCat October 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Why can't a guy just pay someone to talk about baseball for a few hours without the government interfering? Damn it – leave this poor man alone!

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Ah, yes. Young Kameryn had a different take on that talk, as I recall.

Callyson October 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm

he loves sex with prostitutes more than he loves patriotism
But Kirsten, sex with prostitutes *is* patriotism. Go USA!

JackObin October 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm

"My family and I have dealt with this matter and we've successfully moved forward in our relationship." What a pussy.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Aw, what a treasure. This, after he successfully moved forward, then backward, then repeated that for 10 minutes in a relationship with his hooker.

Guppy06 October 3, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Did "dealing with it" involve blood tests?

If the charges were dropped against him, what about against the working girl?

Also, quotation marks and alt-text don't mix well.

Tundra Grifter October 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm

"Charges were dropped" – like his pants. He got into a first-time offender diversion program, and he's bragging about it?

At least his wife is better off than that poor woman married to the Illinois GNoP candidate Mr. Obama ran against. This guy's wife didn't have to join a sex club.

Indiepalin October 3, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Resistance is futile

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:50 pm

She can borg me anytime.

DaRooster October 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Why do all of these Tea-maggots have beady little eyes and ferret faces?

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 5:55 pm

That sounds like the set up to a joke. Did they go into a bar???

DaRooster October 3, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Why do all of these Tea-maggots have beady little eyes and ferret faces?

A. So normal people will avoid them and they can go on ripping off folks and lying to them about the despicable shit they do.

(As for a funny joke… not my best effort)

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Well that's just an outright lie. Most of them have Moon Pie faces. With dead little beady eyes.

poncho_pilot October 3, 2011 at 5:51 pm

so…

Big Government = Bad.
Big Pimpin' = Good.

…???

glamourdammerung October 3, 2011 at 5:59 pm

I was more impressed with the photoshop of famous homosexual Andy Breitbart on the photo in the Gawker article. It must have took a while to remove the extra chins.

rickmaci October 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Oh my! Looks like he will need time at a TeaTard re-education center. Lessons begin with Genesis. Adam and Eve not Adam and STEVE! ROFLMAO.

HelmutNewton October 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

“My family and I dealt with this matter…"

What'd they do? Murder the rent-boy?

Tundra Grifter October 3, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Probably signed a post-nup.

Rotundo_ October 3, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Best comment on Gawker that I saw was "Well he *was* meeting with a (blow) job creator." Great line, I wish I'd have come up with it…

user-of-owls October 3, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Damn. No matter how many different ways I try it, I still can't get Google to translate "Stevelic" into "Bobbitt."

rocktonsam October 3, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Out side of being a bunch of racists, homophobes,idiots and hypocrites, these teabaggers sure know how to PARRRRTY.

deanbooth October 3, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Geez! It's Adam and Evelic, not Adam and Stevlic!

donner_froh October 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm

He'd been arrested less than two months earlier, on June 25th, for soliciting a prostitute at 1600 South Killborn Avenue.

16th and Kilbourn on the near West side of Chicago seems like a very insalubrious place to pick up a streetwalker– Stevlic must have known it was a good corner for a cheap blowjob.

owhatever October 3, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Tea Baggers should thank the Hookers Union of America (HUA) for helping so many Republicans spend more time with their families.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Just another case of the government punishing a job creator.

comrad_darkness October 3, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Values Voters must <3 this guy.

Negropolis October 4, 2011 at 12:53 am

So, how many Newtons does this measure on the Gingrich Scale? Given what little information we know, I'd give this maybe a 5 out of 10 Newts, but this can be revised dependent upon what further information we receive.

DesertTed October 4, 2011 at 3:10 am

The charges were dropped because it's not a crime if you pay a gay man to let you blow him.

ttommyunger October 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

What is it about these Right-Wing Family Values dickwads? They get busted for who knows what and their wives just shrug it off a everything goes along like it never happened. My wife would shoot me AFTER she cut my dick off. And no way could I remain in my neighborhood after such a shaming; but then, I possess a sense of shame. Hmmm, wait, I'm beginning to understand….

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Well, a long nose could be "repurposed".

Limeylizzie October 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Mmm. I suppose so.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Just ask Cyrano de Bergerac…

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Though, not expressly illustrated by my Gravatar, I have a big nose. And we all know what they say about guys with big noses, don't we?

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Yeah. They bogart up all the coke.

SarahsBush October 3, 2011 at 4:57 pm

And there's plenty of room to stick your cock in it. At least, that's what I'm saying now.

jus_wonderin October 3, 2011 at 4:55 pm

That's funny, because I was just discussing this with my Mom on the weekend visit to the farm. Shreveport identifies more with Dallas than New Orleans (in a kind of negative way). Maybe it is that we have I20 running over to Dallas, and didn't have I49 until more recently. But, you are right! My Mom is from NJ. She makes jokes that La is the NJ of the south. But, she loves it and her home of now 60+ years.

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:13 pm

You're from Pineville? Bless your heart… not north enough to be Arkansas, not Cajun enough to be Ville Platte.

samsuncle October 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm

The Mason-Fontenot line runs through Pineville.

elviouslyqueer October 3, 2011 at 5:46 pm

I can't diss y'all too much. The best boudin I ever ate was in some no-name grocery store in Alex. And on the definite plus side, you're just down the road from Lecompte. Mmmm, Lea's.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: