Republicans are a large bunch, if you get what we mean. When Teabaggers sit around the house, they literally sit around the 3,800-square-foot foreclosed tract house, in Florida. The latest advances in physics are repeatedly tested by the makers of Hoverounds and Rascals, as the wee scooters are expected to carry ever heavier loads. So there hasn’t been a lot of political speculation regarding the Jabba the Hutt-esque physique of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. After all, if two-thirds of Americans are already overweight or obese, then it would seem Christie has a huge built-in constituency. But in an effort to avoid writing about the Wall Street protests now spreading across the nation like a Sam’s Club 12-pack of Velveeta on a Family Size sack of Tostitos in the microwave, the nation’s pundits finally had to “go there” and write about how Chris Christie is too fucking fat to be president, because he’s about to fall over and die, due to fatness.
In the days before the insane specualtion about Christie’s presidential aspirations somehow became “Top News” for a week, we could all sit back and laugh when, say, Christie bought a gigantic new helicopter with taxpayer money to carry him from his King Kong-sized bed to his kids’ school ball game a few yards away from his mansion. But now, this is a National Security Matter, apparently.
Straight-talking New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is a portly guy — and has spoken publicly in the past about his struggles with the scale. Now that he might be a contender for Republican nominee for president, other people are speaking publicly about his weight, too, and what impact it might have on his electability next November.
Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson wrote that the governor needed to lose weight for his (and the country’s) health. Others complained that an inability to lose weight was a sort of failure of character.
Michael Kinsley kind of skipped all the bullshit and went straight to the point:
Look, I’m sorry, but New Jersey Governor Chris Christie cannot be president: He is just too fat.
Congratulations, national media, for finding a way to “fill the space” this week! Good job all around!