Archvillain stereotypes David and Charles Koch are reportedly furious because rival New York billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s media machine is reportedly about to publish some big scandal story that proves the Koch Bros. are even worse than previously thought. So what are the libertarian heroes accused of now? Eating the hearts of Christian babies? Jacking off into Warren Buffett’s caviar? No, they are simply accused of some bribery and standard globalist business crime, in France. France! How are the Koch Brothers even involved in such a socialist country full of health-care-having French people? UPDATE: The story is live at Bloomberg Markets Magazine.
According to Salon, this is what’s happening in the wacky world of the Koch Brothers’ Empire of Crime:
Based on the prebuttal items appearing this week in the Washington Examiner, the Daily Caller, and U.S. News and World Report, the Bloomberg story focuses on alleged malfeasance and/or fraud and/or bad behavior by the conglomerate Koch Industries.
One of those episodes apparently involves bribery by a Koch subsidiary in France, according to the piece by Washington Examiner editorial page editor Mark Tapscott. He reports that “Bloomberg reporters have been trolling among former Koch employees overseas in search of disaffected voices willing to talk,” but Tapscott suspects the story may be animated by bias against the Tea Party. And he notes that, “Koch USA officials say they were as surprised and angered as anybody else when they were first apprised of the bribery allegations, and moved as quickly as possible to get to the bottom of the situation and fix it.”
“Fix it” is global mafia talk for “cement shoes.” Anyway, everybody get ready for the shocking revelation that the Koch Brothers are criminal assholes, in the next issue of whatever magazine Bloomberg runs, Vibe or something. [Bloomberg Markets Magazine/Salon via tipster “Doug”]