Archvillain stereotypes David and Charles Koch are reportedly furious because rival New York billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s media machine is reportedly about to publish some big scandal story that proves the Koch Bros. are even worse than previously thought. So what are the libertarian heroes accused of now? Eating the hearts of Christian babies? Jacking off into Warren Buffett’s caviar? No, they are simply accused of some bribery and standard globalist business crime, in France. France! How are the Koch Brothers even involved in such a socialist country full of health-care-having French people? UPDATE: The story is live at Bloomberg Markets Magazine.
According to Salon, this is what’s happening in the wacky world of the Koch Brothers’ Empire of Crime:
Based on the prebuttal items appearing this week in the Washington Examiner, the Daily Caller, and U.S. News and World Report, the Bloomberg story focuses on alleged malfeasance and/or fraud and/or bad behavior by the conglomerate Koch Industries.
One of those episodes apparently involves bribery by a Koch subsidiary in France, according to the piece by Washington Examiner editorial page editor Mark Tapscott. He reports that “Bloomberg reporters have been trolling among former Koch employees overseas in search of disaffected voices willing to talk,” but Tapscott suspects the story may be animated by bias against the Tea Party. And he notes that, “Koch USA officials say they were as surprised and angered as anybody else when they were first apprised of the bribery allegations, and moved as quickly as possible to get to the bottom of the situation and fix it.”
“Fix it” is global mafia talk for “cement shoes.” Anyway, everybody get ready for the shocking revelation that the Koch Brothers are criminal assholes, in the next issue of whatever magazine Bloomberg runs, Vibe or something. [Bloomberg Markets Magazine/Salon via tipster "Doug"]
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Bribery by billionaire businessmen bullies is even more shocking than steroids in sports!
What a veritable litter o' 'lliteratives, good man!
Bribes = the steroids of big business.
Cocaine is a portfolio enhancing drug.
But when combined with Hookers becomes a Wall Street ‘Must-have.’
Are they hiring?
Bullionaires?
Or nudity in strip clubs.
Just twatted:
@GovWalker Koch Bros sold petrochem equipment to #Iran despite embargo bit.ly/qBy8km Why do you hate #USA and love #Ahmadinejad?
First they came for Murdoch, and we didn't say anything. . .
Maybe they could share a cell and take turns being the bride.
When did they come for Murdoch? I missed the frog-marching, goddam it!
I saw nuz-zing.
What am I going to do with 40 subscriptions to "Vibe"?
Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, oh how I hope it applies and these guys can go the prison they belong in.
Like the DOJ is going to do any more than find some mid-level operative to blame everything on.
Like the Koch Bros haven't specifically structured their subs to ensure mid-level operatives are there to have everything blamed on them.
Scott Walker and the Fitzgeralds have declared the independent Wisconsin Plutopublic and offered the Kochs adylum.
Once you lose the French, you can kiss your world domination cred goodbye.
^
*writes this down in secret World Domination To-Do List*
Bloomberg is prejudiced against yachts. America's Cup Libel !!!!!!!!!!!!
Journalism 2011:
Kochs business bribery in France = news.
Kochs political bribery of most of Congress = not news.
Isn't Santorum a prebuttal item?
It's actually a post-buttal item.
Ass-fucking, the Wonkette Tradition lives on!
Yay! Unfiltered post-coital smokes for everyone!
Butts post-butt.
Intrabuttal.
They still guillotine the corrupt kleptocrat burgeoisie in France, right? Oh please oh please oh please…
And for the Kochs, I'm not picky about which head gets sliced off..;
All of them, Katie!
Actually, now days they just elect them to office, or make them the head of the IMF.
Oooo, burn! The French political class is even more incestuouos than the British political class.
I'm surprised the Koch's are worried about their reputation. Come on guys; take some pride in your sleazy scum sucking lifestyle.
You don't want to see an Angry Koch….
Wouldn't mind.
Probably not this kind — you'd never have a lady-erection again…
Well… my balls are (relatively) freshly shorn….
Ewwwww. I like my balls as nature intended.
nature intended mine to be smooth as eggs. Im gonna get em tattooed like a globe of the world
Yay, Lizzie!…
Someone really needs to start a "It Gets Better" project for the super rich. Every night, I cry myself to sleep for their pain and suffering.
My heart bleeds santorum for these martyrs.
Overflowing frothy sadness…
They will likely apply the Chilean Model- just kill whoever you don't like.
Herman Cain likes this idea.
Nein, nein, nein!
That needs more thumbs.
Odd that France routinely lets ousted dictators settle in their country but draws the line at the most common of business practices. Such petulance.
Oooh!, Is this when Mortimer and Randolph get screwed, then America wins and enjoys it's tropical vacation?
Looking good, Bily Ray!
Feelin good Lewis.
Make up your mind, Bloomberg!
France? Ha — you expect anyone in America to care about what the Kochs do in France? New revelations come out about Rupert Murdoch's spying tricks every damn day but it doesn't deter this criminal from continuing here as though nothing happened. Maybe that'll change with yesterday's news, though, that NotW had plants in rival new offices stealing their scoops. That might cause the idiots at FOX's competition to take notice.
There is a certain je nai se quoi in wiping the santorum up with a koch brother's product like Quilted Northern or Angel Soft.
Oh, great. Now Santorum will go on a rant about how those are toilet papers and not paper towels or napkins….
I've heard enough. Obama: Release the Drones
Those folks in Langley are getting mighty damn good with those things, aren't they?
aww hell just get it over with and release the Kraken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb2zIR2rvRQ
How can anyone believe anything in US Pewz and Hurled Report? Besides they have hated the Frogs since the Jacobites went after Lafayette.
Jacobins, surely. Jacobites were Scottish.
oui
Yeah, but they were French loving Scots, so there's that.
Following the Occupy the Streets meme, likely should be spelled Jacobeans, at least through this weekend. After Barry napalms the protesters, like he whacked a certain citizen who also pissed him off, it won't matter so much.
Jac-o-Bites are to bites what Jack-o-Lanterns are to lanterns.
Wow, this story and a story about Rick Perry, being investigated for insider trading, being reported now. It's a good thing.
The insider trading thing was a tease — it took place in the 1990s and went nowhere fairly quickly, since Perry and the guy he conspired with both denied they spoke about the stock. I was hoping it was something ongoing, but no.
Sounds like about as much evidence as they had in Whitewater. I really hope there will be an uncontrolled seven-year investigation of every last aspect of Perry's professional, political and personal life by a former Solicitor General on the far left of the Democratic party, followed by a successful perjury trap on a completely unrelated matter.
Because if that ever happens to a Republican, I may get to sleep with Helen Mirren. And find a fortune in gold coins buried in my backyard.
I indirectly know the douche who fed him the tip. KCI's founder is a complete sleeze who has a well-earned reputation for messing around in Texas political circles/influence peddling to benefit his company. I had a client who was their competitor and one of their biggest fears was being sued in Texas state court or really dealing with any state authorities there because of his influence.
In other words, I completely buy that Perry was tipped off, and that this clown would deny it to his dying day. I guess I like it though because if lil' Ricky is ever in a position to say shit about Obama's dealings with Rezko (which I don't think he will be, but you never know), this is a nice counterweight.
HILARY KILLED VINCE FOSTER IN THE 90S BUT NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT, LIBTARDS!!!!11!
Wait, I thought Bill killed Vince when he found out that he was sleeping with Hillary and they were both moving coke up from Nicaragua.
God, it is so hard keeping these fake Clinton scandals straight.
No no, Bill moved all that coke in conjunction with the reverse vampires. They used Ron Brown's plane until he wanted out, which is why Gennifer Flowers shot it down with a shoulder-fired missile. Vince Foster was killed because he knew too much. Let's see Bill prove that none of this is true!
WIN. I have relatives in Arkansas to this day (Clinton-loving Democrats, even) who are absolutely convinced the Clinton's killed Ron Brown, and that Clinton has a bunch of black babies running around Arkansas none-the-wiser. lol
no!
(clutches pearls).
Shame on Bloomberg for going after people making 40 to 50 million a year who can barely make ends meet.
After feeding their families, there's really nothing left.
"Qu'ils mangent de Koch."
WIN!!!!!
WIN WIN WIN!!!!!
Aw, man. The headline gets me all excited and then it turns out we're talking about some subsidiary bribing somebody in France? Murdoch is going to skate away from the hacking scandal for heavens' sake. To have a hope of even a 1% chance of nailing these guys for bribery, you'd need to have the Koch brothers themselves, on videotape, handing over sacks labeled "Nazi Gold" to Scott Walker and Al-Awleki. Plus a sack labeled "Nazi Gold in payment for the 2004 Ohio results" to the guy who runs Diebold. And even then nobody would probably lay a glove on them.
if its in the Daily Caller it must be true
Le Kochon Frères.
Maudites Kochons!
Yes, I'd like some Coke and fries, also. Oh, I mean frites.
Le Koch Blokes.
This is what happens when you send Republicans to France. They strenuously try to avoid any scandal of the sort involving a dancer from The Crazy Horse, thinking a little pot-de-vin will just be par for the course, but over there, it works exactly the other way around.
The scandal isn't that they were committing crimes in France, it's that they were doing business with France at all. To the American right, that's worse than sucking Chairman Mao's toes while peeing on the cross.
Fergie's toes are still OK, though, right?
Shorter version:
the Bloomberg story focuses on behavior by the conglomerate Koch Industries.
When contacted, a French official said, "I'm shocked, SHOCKED, to find that gambling has been going on here"!
And then he turned left on William street. Not the funny one from Georgia.
If the Brothers are trying to keep the article from being published, is that a Koch Block?
Meanwhile, isn't France the nation that went after George Soros? The right wing nutz ranted about that for quite some time – now they are just going to start dogging that country, aren't they?
Hans-Erik Wennerstrom is not amused.
i like koch brothers better covered with evil bobbing cow faces
"i like koch brothers better covered with evil bobbing cow faces"
Or covered with cow feces would be OK, too.
What is the point of massive piles of money beyond the dreams of avarice if you can’t use it to buy influence? Were I rich enough I would bribe the French to abandon all further attempts at contemporary music.
I'd just move to France and forget about it…. I mean it's the world center of good food and wine…
Just dress a German in any kind of quasi-military uniform and give him a keg of beer to tell them to knock it the fuck off.
And were I the IRS, I'd allow you take a charitable deduction for it.
They shall be crying rivers of tears – but with an unlimited supply of Brawny paper towels, it shouldn't be a problem.
And Dixie Cups to catch them, bottle them and sell as the new Tiger Blood.
Winning! [or is that too dated already?]
In the Koch-ed up Free Market, you should be able to buy anything you want! Influence, a nice new kidney, a hot second wife… I'm surprised they even know they should be "surprised and angered."
Wait until the wingtards take umbrage that the Koch brothers are practicing crony capitalism.
Too many Kochs spoil the broth.
I'm glad there are some countries where the Koch's behaviour is illegal.
What's with our exceptional country?
It's taking Great Britain and France to take down our Über criminals.
See Microsoft.
Henry Hudson, one of the simple jurists who "took down" ACA, went after Microsoft. Which only means he wants the "right" people to have money/power. Gates is a nerd, Obama near — they are not the right people.
OT: Today is Sarah Palin's drop dead date:
http://www.redstate.com/erick/2011/09/30/today-is…
P-day??? No p for that grifter.
Well, if Sarah has lost Eric, son of Eric, what chance does she have of winning over other insane right wingers?
Sarah Palin backing out of a commitment? That's just crazy talk.
None hath spoken so harshly of her holy grifter highness since days of yore, one, Dame Noonington. Forsooth, beware, Erick son of Erick, the wrath of the mighty $arah will be upon thee. Who dare challenge the Black Knight?
Jacking off into Warren Buffett’s caviar?
This is the kind of speculation that hints at prior employment of Ken Layne in the service industry.
Or perhaps a Kraft salad dressing factory?
Or possibly being Warren Buffet's taster?
Anything you want they got it right her in Koch USA.
Maybe this is why they had to buy Wisconsin…
The Koch brothers do not refer to it as bribery, they refer to it as Freedomery!
Bribes are people, too, my friend. Bribes are free speech. Why do you hate the Constitution?
And again, good news for the lawyers.
Koch USA officials? Sounds about right.
J'accuse!
The Koch boys may have their fair share of flaws, and then some, but I don't know if I'd exactly call them jackasses, even in French.
“Bloomberg reporters have been trolling among former Koch employees overseas in search of disaffected voices willing to talk,” but Tapscott suspects the story may be animated by bias against the Tea Party.
Looks like Tapscottt got himself a little taste of the Koch.
Pepsi is better than Koch, anyway.
I always thought something was odd about Statler and Waldorf.
"rival New York billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s media machine is reportedly about to publish some big scandal story that proves the Koch Bros. are even worse than previously thought"
Fortunately for all, Garry Trudeau has learned his lesson, and will wait until this is actually published before any reference to it appears in "Doonesbury".
"prebuttal"
I like this word, and plan to use it in the future, although probably not for its originally intended purpose.
Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.
Cunts… both of them.
These guys are the role model for the evil Duke brothers in the greatest movie of all time, "Trading Places." Here's a list of their products to boycott:
AVOID KOCH BROTHERS PRODUCTS:
Angel Soft toilet paper
Brawny paper towels
Dixie plates, bowls, napkins and cups
Mardi Gras napkins and towels
Quilted Northern toilet paper
Soft ‘n Gentle toilet paper
Sparkle napkins
Vanity fair napkins
Zee napkins
Georgia-Pacific paper products and envelopes
All Georgia-Pacific lumber and building products
Jesus, judging by the picture those two look like a couple of waiters at a Shecky Greene friars roast.
Every time I see a picture of these two, I think it's the Duke brothers:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mnw0mTMG03w/TbdU7t5TTyI…
Boom: "Koch Brothers Flout Law Getting Richer With Secret Iran Sales", Bloomberg, 2 October 2011.
Don't worry, kiddies, it's more than just boring ol' Iran sales!
Post post-butt post
Not if you're unemployed.
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