Token black GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain knows a thing or two about hiring low-wage workers to carry around his company’s shitty pizzas, and that’s why he’s quite sure black people in America are “brainwashed” and can’t “think for themselves.” But this is changing, according to Herman Cain’s math (the Chilean model?), which goes like this: “Two thirds of them,” the blacks, are “brainwashed.” This is what Herman Cain told Wolf Blitzer on the teevee news show. But, because of Herman Cain’s math magic, “the good news is I happen to believe that a third to 50 percent of the black Americans in this country, they are open-minded.” So, some of the brainwashed are also open-minded — about 17% of the brainwashed blacks, according to conventional fractions. If Herman Cain can turn the 17% of open-minded brainwashed blacks into, say, Republicans, then he’s got this all lined up. In his mind … which is open, we imagine.
Wingnut newsletter NewsMax shares this important transcript from CNN:
Blitzer responded, “That’s a strong word to talk about your fellow African Americans, brainwashed?”
“For two-thirds of them, Wolf, that is the case,” Cain said. “Now, the good news is I happen to believe that a third to 50 percent of the black Americans in this country, they are open-minded. I meet them every day. They stop me in the airport. And so this whole notion that all black Americans are necessarily going to stay and vote Democrat and vote for Obama, that’s simply not true. More and more black Americans are thinking for themselves. And that’s a good thing …. I do believe a third (of African-Americans) would vote for me, based upon my own anecdotal feedback,” he said. “Now, they won’t be voting for me because I’m black they’ll be voting for me because of my policies.”
Airports! This is the same kind of research Tom Friedman is always doing, and he’s never wrong about anything. So, we are pretty sure some version of this math results in Herman Cain both winning the GOP nomination and becoming president of Chile. [Newsmax via Wonkette operative chascates]