SURREALIST POETRY WETHINKS?  12:50 pm September 30, 2011

Mayor Bloomberg On Wall Street Protests: We Need ‘To Help The Banks’

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Just another one of the middle-class haters at work.UH. NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg discussing the Wall Street protests: “The protesters are protesting against people who make $40-50,000 a year and are struggling to make ends meet. That’s the bottom line.” Hm! We could try to unpack that and “solve” the riddle of this bizarre statement, which is the utter opposite of what is the actual case, but let’s dive right into the subtext and assume the swelling heathen ranks of protesters are starting to itch like wet beach sand in Bloomberg’s nervous trousers. Or, Michele Bachmann took over his brain.

Let’s see the full Village Voice blog post for some clues:

​New Yorkers need “to help the banks” was Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s message to the Occupy Wall Street crowd in his weekly radio appearance on the John Gambling show.

“The protesters are protesting against people who make $40-50,000 a year and are struggling to make ends meet. That’s the bottom line,” Bloomberg said, presumably meaning service workers on Wall Street, adding that “we all” share blame for taking on too much risk, not just the financial industry.

“And people in this day and age need support for their employers. If the banks don’t go out and make loans we will not come out of our economic problems, we will not have jobs so anything we can do that’s responsible to help the banks do that is what we need.”

Hm. Nope. Every single sentence quoted from this radio interview is about as factual as “Jesus rode whales around Neptune with Axl Rose for six thousand years, which led to the invention of the tambourine and the horse.” That was our free-association response to “Americans caused the banks to collapse and protesters hate service workers and middle class wage-earners.” Make your own! [The Village Voice/Photo courtesy of Wonkette super-operative "kenlayisalive"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 158 comments }

ManchuCandidate September 30, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Yes Bloomie. We should help the banks… especially their senior management into jail or off a plank.

Barb September 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Should we just deposit our money and let them keep it? That will buy some nice platinum parachutes to replace those faulty golden ones.

metamarcisf September 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Bloomberg's statement is right up there with the speech he made banning Larry David from New York City.

Fred_Wertham_Jr September 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I think he meant to say that their apartments cost $40,000-50,000 a month.

Chichikovovich September 30, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Or that they can only afford to donate $40,000-50,000 a month to Republican politicians and PACs, unlike the real heavy hitters.

AlterNewt September 30, 2011 at 12:55 pm

That Bloomberg.

How many different people are inside that guy?

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm

One Democrat, one Republican and now one independent — so far. You'd think one of them would know basic math.

Negropolis October 1, 2011 at 1:41 am

And one very big, neurotic douchebag.

paris biltong September 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm

One: the owner of Bloomberg, the business. Who's going to buy those services if the banks don't?

Not_So_Much September 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I don't think it's full people — just (skin)bag full of dicks…

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Lightly salted, and heavily poisoned.

Gratuitous World September 30, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Oh now i get it! It was Nurse White, In the Board Room, With her 403(b) pension. She murdered the economy!!!

Dr_Zoidberg September 30, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Oh, damn that bitch!!

MrFizzy September 30, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Rich conservatives have evidently given up even the pretense of making sense. Sadly, they don't have to, because the herd of sheep that passes for the U.S. population doesn't know the difference. And I am sorry if I have offended any Woolican Americans with my comments.

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm

That's "woolly-Americans" to you, bud.

MrFizzy September 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm

What about Amwoolican?

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Doesn't that sound kinda … biblical?

Angry_Marmot September 30, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Sheep lie.

Allmighty_Manos September 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

"NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg discussing the Wall Street protests: “The protesters are protesting against people who make $40-50,000 a year and are struggling to make ends meet. That’s the bottom line.”

Bloomburg clearly had a senior moment and confused the Wall Street protestors with Chris Christie, Scott Walker and the Tea Party. Teachers make 40-50,000 a year, not Wall Street bankers.

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Does this stupid fuck even know that Parade magazine, that oh-so-useful birdcage-liner, publishes a yearly record of how much these rich arseholes make? Maybe he's just too old to be in politics anymore.

Goonemeritus September 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

To say the face of Citibank is the teller or the nice lady in the mail room. Is like defending the Third Reich because the lady brining tea and strudel to Hitler was really sweet.

Pat_Pending September 30, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Her name was Traudl Junge, by the way. Where do Germans come up with those wacky names?

user-of-owls September 30, 2011 at 7:10 pm

If she was brining his tea, I don't want to know what she was doing to his strudel.

Negropolis October 1, 2011 at 1:43 am

Goodwin fulfilled!

lefty74 September 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

When the top 400 in the good old USA control more wealth than 120,000,000 Americans, why would there be division and dissent?

GunToting[Redacted] September 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I was wondering why "Chinese Democracy" took so long…

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

It was all Jesus' fault.

zhubajie September 30, 2011 at 7:15 pm

The difference is that Chinese pols are genuinely afraid of the masses.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 11:39 pm

With good reason. The masses will not hesitate to kill their worthless asses, if needed.

smashaduck September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Why just this morning I saw a bank digging through the trash behind McDonald's.

OneYieldRegular September 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Banks are hobos too, my friend.

snackypants September 30, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I <3 you both.

AlterNewt September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Michael Bloomberg:

King of the little guys.

Walkinwiddaking October 1, 2011 at 6:32 pm

And "Man Of The People". Those people that control Wall Street.

Callyson September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Bloomberg said…that "we all" share blame for taking on too much risk, not just the financial industry.
Really? I was in on the securitization of mortgages and the deceptive marketing of said securities as safe investments? I was a part of the push for deregulation of Wall Street that led to the reckless risk taking behind the economic implosion? OK, in that case–where is my cut of the bailout? I was in on it!

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Apparently you were very busy!

freakishlywrong September 30, 2011 at 1:15 pm

We "all share blame", but the banksters got the windfall. Y'know, how everything else works in this stupid cuntry.

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm

"We "all share blame", but the banksters got the windfall"

And then we get the bill, so there's yer sharing right there.

GunToting[Redacted] September 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Today we are all overly-leveraged financial institutions.

HistoriCat September 30, 2011 at 2:25 pm

You're at least half right.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

I thought if you lived in NYC and made only $40-50K, you had to live in a box or on a ventilation grating.

BerkeleyBear September 30, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Those people don't live in NYC – at least not Manhattan. They nest in more exotic locales like Newark, Queens, and Brooklyn and take various modes of public transportation to work.

That said, Bloomberg is knowingly full of shit when he claims the protests have anything to do with the administrative assistants, temps, and clerical staff who make that sort of money.

OneYieldRegular September 30, 2011 at 1:35 pm

But you can see that they're struggling just by the looks on their faces as they idly stand around on the balconies of their workplaces swilling champagne.

Mumbletypeg September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

My free association skills are currently challenged by the image of that rather clean-shaven looking fellow w/ his shirt tucked in, bearing a statement he is employed yet feels enough urgency to get involved. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR UNEMPLOYABLE PATCHOULI-BREATHIN' HIPPIE SCUM NOW, kleptocrats?

Oblios_Cap September 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Stop yer bellyaching and just pay the $5 a month for paying with a debit card and all of the other associated fun things that banks charge you for to allow you to use your own money.

littlebigdaddy September 30, 2011 at 7:45 pm

And this is happening just as Americans are trying to be more frugal and wean themselves off credit cards. The banks are getting desperate, realizing that without the irresponsible spending orgies of the last several decades they may have to cut the bonuses (as a last resort).

SorosBot September 30, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Don't blame the people who were directly responsible for the housing crisis, it's everybody's fault, society is to blame, not the banks! Funny that the wingnuts, in defending the financial industry scum, sound like their own parody of liberals who they accuse of coddling criminals.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Yes, I blame society. Society made the economy what it is.

paris biltong September 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, permissiveness and all that. Things just ain't wot they used to be.

BlueStateLibel September 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I'm sure a lot of those bankers did have horrible childhoods. It couldn't have been easy for them, being so butt ugly and ostrasized by their peers for being such anti-social weirdos and freaks even then.

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:31 pm

"Don't blame the people who were directly responsible for the housing crisis, it's everybody's fault, society is to blame, not the banks!"

You gotta love that whole "personal responsibility" thang.

deanbooth September 30, 2011 at 12:58 pm

The banks are great at helping themselves. Next up, a $5/month protest fee. (Check your statement carefully, 'cause it won't be announced.)

edgydrifter September 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm

This "the banks need all the money or the economy will implode" meme makes me want to vomit ebola-tainted blood in the faces of every smirking plutocrat on the planet and all their complicit government panderbears. Even if I had ebola, though, I don't think I have enough blood for the job. Fuck.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm

“The protesters are protesting against people who make $40-50,000 a year and are struggling to make ends meet."

I really don't think that's what the protesters are protesting. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that it's probably the senior executives that are making $40-50,000 a day that have the protester's dander up.

HistoriCat September 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm

It was a simple misstatement and it could have happened to anyone.

He meant a month – $40-50,000 a month.

hollywooddood September 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Haha, Wall Street already got nearly half my 401k.

You're welcome.

Polythene_Pam September 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm

We had a 'windfall' at in our old 401k fund at work & they decided to do a partial match a couple weeks ago. My share was $222.47. When I went to look at it today, to decide what to do with it (since it has to leave the old, defunct 401k before 11/25), that $222.47 was worth $216.26.

Bastards.

I'd better move it out of there quick or I'll be owing them money soon

Oblios_Cap September 30, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Mine, too!

Mumbletypeg September 30, 2011 at 1:00 pm

"Banks are people too, my friends!"

LouBristol September 30, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Memo to Bloomberg: The banks are NOT going out and making loans, they're buying treasury bonds with whatever bailout money's left after the bonuses have been paid out.

orygoon September 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I fucking hate banks so fucking much. I used to get money on savings, you know, like in a money market account. They paid me to have my money. Now they toss pennies at my savings, which I am reluctant to shift into the market. So I loaned The Heir a tidy sum, interest-free, to pay off his student loans (6+ percent interest, I think they were). And when The Spare gets a job, if ever, poor kid, I will try to do likewise.

I want the fuckity-fucking banks to starve, and come back to us on THEIR knees, begging.

And I will laugh, and kick them.

Not_So_Much September 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm

We're talking groin-kicking, yes? Can I be your wingman?

Ken Layne September 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, for a supposedly "smart guy," you have to wonder what made fucking Bloomberg decide this was the week to finally take a stand for … banks.

/Fear. He is afraid. Not just of his constituency, the Wall Street banks, but of having his fiefdom of Manhattan overrun by National Guard because Bloomberg failed to "contain" the protest.

orygoon September 30, 2011 at 1:58 pm

NotSoMuch: yes, and yes, fuck yeah.
Ken: The problem with being middle-aged is that I don't expect to dance on the comeuppance of all of the deserving bastards. But I'm looking forward to every single opportunity that comes, and will bequeath what's left of the list to my kids.

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:36 pm

I love that you call your kids The Heir and The Spare, btw.

Spurning Beer September 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Mayor Bloomberg must still be woozy from the fasting yesterday.

swordfis September 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm

If you are going to post Antisemitic remarks, you should at least get your facts straight. Yesterday (and today) are Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year. We fast in a few days on Yom Kippur. Fact checking and bigotry don't mix, apparently.

AlterNewt October 2, 2011 at 11:36 am

3…2…1…

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 3:08 pm

I thought you said "farting," at first.

Angry_Marmot September 30, 2011 at 11:57 pm

He swallowed a lot of air.

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Considering how much hot air he belches forth upon the deafened masses, it's about time.

not that Dewey October 3, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Always makes me woozy….

PalinzADummy October 3, 2011 at 11:43 pm

It's that rich, rich diet, you know.

Callyson September 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm

"when the Vietnam vets came back we didn't treat them the way they deserve to be treated."
Yeah, Bloomberg, about those vets…they are approaching retirement age now, aren't they? Why don't you ask them how they feel about the way their pensions were treated by Wall Street?
Dickhead.

GOPCrusher September 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm

And ask them how they feel about fucking Tea Baggers screaming at them, that they are the reason the government is running in the red.

Angry_Marmot September 30, 2011 at 11:59 pm

I cried because I had no legs, 'til I met a man who had no class.

smoothmineral September 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Even the service workers on Wall Street are overpaid!

freakishlywrong September 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"SomethingSomething eat cake". And the fucking rich. Except for Bloomie. He'd be gamy and stringy.

Not_So_Much September 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I move we change his nickname from Bloomie to Blompkin. All in favor?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm

“The protesters are protesting against people who make $40-50,000 a year and are struggling to make ends meet. That’s the bottom line,”

So, I assume that Bloomberg will be calling on the executives to renounce their bonuses and any salary above $500,000 so that the extra money can be provided to those employees who are struggling to make ends meet?

DetectiveGrey September 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Totally. And then Elton John will be appointed leader of the Tea Party Express immediately following SarahPAC's sudden donation of all accumulated funds to the WWF.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 30, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Assuming you mean the Worldwide Wrestling Foundation, I think it just might happen.

SaintRond September 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Why are these awful people protesting against the janitors?

GOPCrusher September 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Bathroom attendants.

Schmannnity September 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm

I wonder if a guillotine will pass constitutional muster in the Roberts court.

HarryButtle September 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I wonder when the guillotine will be USED on the Roberts court.

Guppy06 September 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Breaking on the wheel would pass muster in the Roberts court.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Mojo Nixon invariably comes in to my mind around this point; more predictable than Godwin's law.

"Wall Street can eat my meat."

Ken Layne September 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm

And if you people ever wonder about my education, look no further than the right Reverend Mojo Nixon. http://www.allmusic.com/album/bo-day-shus-r14170/… Haha this is the only thing on my resume I never get tired of mentioning.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I think we went through this the last time I mentioned Mojo's "bank statement" here. You're becoming like JD Salinger or Joseph Heller on that one, Ken!!!

Ken Layne September 30, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Haha. The *truth*, as Mojo and I talked about the last time I did his ranting & raving politics show on Sirius, is that Mojo was *my* guitar player for a brief period in about 1983 or '84. And we did play a lot of double and triple bills over the years, mostly with the Beat Farmers. And Reagan was president, as the Koch Bros. dream of a destroyed middle class and destroyed America began becoming reality. I don't know what it has to do with Heller and Salinger, but that's what I did instead of college and I'm still glad about it.

GunToting[Redacted] September 30, 2011 at 2:02 pm

This makes me a Happy Boy.

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm

"Mojo was *my* guitar player"

That's cooler than cool.

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Um… Elvis is everywhere?

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Ken, you hipster, you! Color me impressed.

OneYieldRegular September 30, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Don't look at me. I'm doing my part to help the poor banks by paying them $3.00 every time I get out a $20 from another bank's ATM, and I look forward to helping out by paying $5.00 a month just for their letting have a debit card, and I know I help them by paying for the privilege of having checks, or for the inconvenience to them if my account balance happens to drop below a certain threshold, or if I actually need to talk to a human teller, and, well, by paying those finance charges on my 19% annual interest credit card. That helps too. But really, it's not enough. I could do more. We all could do more. You know what, banks? Just keep all the money I have in my accounts. Really. You deserve it. For being so damn GOOD.

Schmannnity September 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm

You are very high maintenance.

DashboardBuddha September 30, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I'm not gloating or anything, but I <3 my credit union

OneYieldRegular September 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm

To tell the truth, my rant was retrospective. I moved nearly all my meager assets into my credit union last year; it's an amazing difference.

mavenmaven September 30, 2011 at 1:10 pm

"Jesus rode whales around Neptune with Axl Rose for six thousand years, which led to the invention of the tambourine and the horse."

You just won the Wonkette Poetry Slam!!!

horsedreamer_1 October 1, 2011 at 1:29 pm

She was ripping off the video for "Don't Cry".

Mumbletypeg September 30, 2011 at 1:10 pm

I can't think of any more surrealist non-poetry than this — which as a non-New Yorker took me by surprise — "Zuccotti Park" had its original name, "Liberty Plaza Park," put to rest in favor of this Z-guy's name, who oversaw Brookfield Properties' rebuilding of the park around 2006.

How much closer to usurping our prized values and freedoms, metaphorically, can it get than that?

littlebigdaddy September 30, 2011 at 7:47 pm

I thought it had something to do with pasta or motorcycles.

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Or the thing you drive around the ice rink.

CapnFatback September 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Bloomberg was clearly talking about poor Carlton Banks, whose prospects took a nosedive in the Aughts after his street-smart cousin Will went to Hollywood to become a huge movie star/Scientologist.

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2011 at 1:12 pm

…adding that “we all” share blame for taking on too much risk, not just the financial industry.

Um — wrong, motherfucker. I bought a house when it was cheap, still own it, haven't gone into massive debt, paid cash for the car I'm driving, cook my own damn dinner most of the time, don't have a playroom full of expensive toys I bought on credit, and still plug away at my lower-than-average paying job for the damn health benefits.

And every damn time Congress let the banks and trading houses write their own rules so they can hide their losses, not keep enough cash on hand to cover their risky bets, squeeze people who declare bankruptcy, and sell unsecured crap to consumers so they can collect the commission before it blows up I've thought it was a shitty way to run an economy.

So gimme a call, asshole — I'll give you some good sound advice on what to do with the goddamn banks. It involves very hot oil and a gently-spiced breading.

fuflans September 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm

yeah this is what i was going to say:

i have a small fixed mortgage which i have always paid on time. i own my car outright, i carry no credit card debt and i have never taken out any kind of credit line. i have a triple AAA credit rating.

and – motherfucker – i got downsized and still can't find a job.

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2011 at 1:48 pm

And I wonder if I got laid off how long it would be before I was completely screwed — too bad my recklessly profligate employer wouldn't give me a $17.5 million golden parachute after eleven months of work like that jackass at HP.

DashboardBuddha September 30, 2011 at 1:30 pm

well done…proving once again that if you need to say something, say it with wookies.

GOPCrusher September 30, 2011 at 1:43 pm

The vast majority of us are in this boat.
Problem is, no one can hear us over the ragy, shouty people.

fuflans September 30, 2011 at 1:49 pm

who mostly got their hooverounds for free.

TanzbodenKoenig September 30, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Poor, poor rich people

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm

My father-in-law is in his 70s. He saved for his retirement. He invested it in a 401k. He did was he was supposed to do. He'd planned to have enough to live on until he was in his 90s. His 76th birthday was last week. He told us his 401k had run dry. All he has now is SS. Thankfully his house is paid for.

To say "we all" share the blame for the financial disaster that wiped out his retirement is utter bullshit.

proudgrampa September 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I kinda like Bloomberg most of the time, but the shit that comes out of his mouth sometimes amazes.

Mrs. Bitch September 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Ken must have gotten it wrong then, huh? These poor, poor piglets must have had Boone's Farm in their plastic cups. Oh, the humanity!
http://wonkette.com/453955/heres-the-video-of-tho

widestanceshakedown September 30, 2011 at 1:29 pm

This would be so much easier to take if Bloomberg broke out in song with that Mary Poppins' "tuppence, tuppence/feed the banks" number.

kissawookiee September 30, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Well, at least it's a great day in South Carolina.

widestanceshakedown September 30, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Hey, banks, meet my little friend, "Mr. Bootstraps." He's all the help any real American needs, right?

Papa_Uniform September 30, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Bloomie, you can stop talking now. We all know you are a stupid cunt.

poncho_pilot September 30, 2011 at 1:36 pm

i guess if the false consciousness just isn't growing fast enough, you need to plant seeds.

DetectiveGrey September 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Okay, okay, okay. Let me try:

It's like saying US Economic Policy is dictated solely by the ratings of Dancing With The Stars integrated over the scores of US Congress members at a game of darts using Dogs Playing Poker as the board, which leads to Deep Dish 9-9-9 Plans cut in the pattern of the landed darts for everyone. And THAT'S why the service workers of Wall Street are the enemy.

Or like if all of the ponies in the world suddenly cast off their shoes, demanding Armani for the rest of forever.

friendlyskies September 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Wow, that's really the best Bloomberg can do? This protest really must have caught our corporate overlords and their craven minions off guard. Sweet.

Come here a minute September 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm

How about "Weird fishes sang the national anthem and reckoned that would make the alien less homesick, under the ground."

poncho_pilot September 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"Dear, Hustler. Do you know the scene in Total Recall where the black guy says, 'I wish i had three hands?' well–and keep this under your hat–i work at DARPA and…"

donner_froh September 30, 2011 at 1:41 pm

"If the banks don’t go out and make loans we will not come out of our economic problems, we will not have jobs so anything we can do that’s responsible to help the banks do that is what we need.”

Dear Mayor Bloomberg:

The banks aren't making loans you stupid asshole. They have such insane standards for loans that no one qualifies for them other than billionaires like you.

Eat shit, mister apologist for the bourgeoisie.

Signed,

Your biggest fan

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:51 pm

"If the banks don’t go out and make loans we will not come out of our economic problems, we will not have jobs so anything we can do that’s responsible to help the banks do that is what we need.”

???
I thought that was what the bailout was supposed to be for.

poncho_pilot September 30, 2011 at 1:47 pm

"stop making my life difficult, you fucking hippies." –Bloomberg

LiveToServeYa September 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm

We need banks run by hippies, obviously. So, what do you call a hippie banker? A bippie? Well, you bet your sweet one, yes.

AlterNewt September 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm

A Hanker?

DetectiveGrey September 30, 2011 at 1:54 pm

This reminds me of the thinly-veiled scam that my university tried to impart upon us when it came to receiving grants for expenses; any leftover money for books or supplies was funneled into a bank account automatically given to all students. You could either get your money right away for your supplies from the bank account, or file three separate forms to get a check in the mail several weeks after the semester began, provided the forms were processed on time (they weren't). Then, after a customary 1% of your loans were given to the bank, you were subject to these:
https://www.higheroneaccount.com/info/outfees.jsp

Note the '50 cents per debit transaction' and '$2.50 for any non-HigherOne ATM' fees. Many on-campus stores automatically swiped your card (that you received in the mail without your consent and before the account was even filled) as debit, and the fee was very masked among paperwork and advertising. The first year they tried this, the closest HigherOne ATM was over state lines. Fortunately, we eventually got them.

Two years after I'd graduated.

fuflans September 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm

time for the tumbrils!

Aux armes, citoyens,
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons !

Barrelhse September 30, 2011 at 3:15 pm

"Allons enfants de la Patrie…"

PalinzADummy September 30, 2011 at 3:19 pm

A la lanterne!

El Pinche September 30, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Bloomberg can suck it.

Guppy06 September 30, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Less "Tea Party," more "Trundles and Pikes Party" prz.

Pat_Pending September 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Kill a receptionist for peace!

BlueStateLibel September 30, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Nothing like pouring gasoline on fire. Keep it up, Bloomie and champagne-sipping traders.

user-of-owls September 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm

anything we can do that’s responsible to help the banks do that is what we need.

I bet you didn't know that this was Mao Tse-Tung's motto during the Great Leap Forward.

BTWBFDIMHO September 30, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Bank of America rejected 2 short-sale offers for my house and I have to surrender the property now. So Bloomberg wants me to help the banks? Mmmm, maybe not.

Eve8Apples September 30, 2011 at 2:49 pm

"we all share blame for taking on too much risk, not just the financial industry"

Not so fast Mikey. I live very simply. I am not underwater on a mortgage. I pay my bills every month. I have earned the right to demand the head of every Wall Street banker who brought our economy to the brink of collapse and then had the audacity to expect me and every other frugal American to bail out their worthless asses. By lobbying against regulatory reform to prevent a similiar disaster in the future, they offend every decent, hard working, honest American who saved their fucking paper pushing jobs. I'm not interested in protest. I want heads to roll.

thefrontpage September 30, 2011 at 3:54 pm

We here in the real world usually agree with Mike Bloomberg–but what on earth was he talking about here? He's 100 percent completely, absolutely wrong, of course. What a weird statement! Doesn't the mayor of New York City have, say, advisers getting paid far more than $50,000 a year to advise him on: 1) current events; 2) news events; 3) financial news; 4) banking news; 5) protests that are occurring in his city, and what the protestors are actually saying; 6) public safety issues; 7) public safety issues occurring in his city; 7) public relations; 8) community relations; 9) protests in New York City in general; and 10) communications? I mean, what the hell is Bloomberg paying all of these high-paid staffers for, if no one can adequately and accurately advise him about protests occurring in the middle of New York City that are attracting literal national and international attention?!!!! Bloomber and your staff: What the hell are you guys doing every day? No mayor of New York City should be saying something this stupid with the staff that he has, and with something called journalism existing in the city, too. Gawd, people–wake up!

zhubajie September 30, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Help put the bankers in prison, Bloomberg.

ttommyunger September 30, 2011 at 9:01 pm

I don't get it. He doesn't need money, why is he such a little prick? These assholes are a puzzlement.

Negropolis October 1, 2011 at 1:54 am

I know Mikey wouldn't know this, but, no, the banks aren't making loans. They are hoarding it Scrooge McDuck style in the market, knowing that we're just in the eye of the hurricane at the moment that that the outer wall will be hitting us soon.

My, my, the little dictator is getting awfully nervous….

axmxz October 3, 2011 at 12:24 am

Yes, we were all in on it – except for the profits and the bail-out part. Socialized risks + privatized profits = you know better than to talk out your ass, Mikey.

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm

So, you're mad at the job creators? is that what you're saying commie?

freakishlywrong September 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Companies in to ruin? Try whole fucking Countries!

swordfis September 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm

hear, hear

tessiee September 30, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Why do you hate America?

One_who_wanders September 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Banks don’t create jobs, they create fees. At best they speed the flow of capital.

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm

People making 5 to 50 million don't even do that. But yet, they're job creators!

GOPCrusher September 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm

And now Bank Of America wants to charge people 5 bucks a month to people that use a debit card. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Remember the GOP's obsession with the domino theory? communism would just take out country after country. Instead. Rampant capitalism. Whoulda seen that coming?

GOPCrusher September 30, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.

One_who_wanders September 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Yeah, I am thinking it is time to go all Jimmy Stewart and use a Credit Union. Right after I cancel my NetFlix account.Grumble, grumble, corporations these days. . . .

Sue4466 September 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Okay, now try naming a real person.

LiveToServeYa September 30, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Uh..Groucho Marx?

HistoriCat September 30, 2011 at 2:26 pm

But, but, socialism!

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