The Boeing break room.Florida and other teabagger-ruled feifdoms like Georgia, Michigan and Arizona are all spending millions of dollars trying to prove unsuccessfully that their state welfare rolls are riddled with wretched socialist junkies who rush straight to spend their 26 government cents or whatever on a pile of smack first chance. This is idiotic. The real junkies are where the real money is: Boeing! The happy little elves working in Santa’s favorite death machine workshop in Pennsylvania at America’s favorite taxpayer black hole defense contractor — which recently won a $35 billion contract from the government  — turn out to be high out of their minds on pills! How do we know this? Because the DEA just arrested three dozen of them.

TalkingPointsMemo reports:

The FBI, DEA and federal prosecutors announced Thursday the arrest of 37 current and former employees (and one non-employee) accused of abusing prescription drugs, the result of a “coordinated, long-term, undercover effort” that Boeing cooperated with.

Officials said 23 of the employees illegally distributed the drugs while 14 were charged with attempted possession of the drugs being sold by their coworkers.

Each defendant — who range in age from 23 to 65 — the feds say “either sold a controlled substance to an FBI cooperator or bought what was believed to be a controlled substance from the cooperator but which was, in fact, a placebo.”

The sting operation was investigated by both the FBI and the DEA. The drugs being distributed, according to the feds “include but are not limited to fentanyl (Actiq), oxycodone (Oxycontin), alprazolam (Xanax) and buprenorphine (Suboxone).”

There you go, Rick Scott. The poor people might not save you a lot of taxpayer money in drug tests, but the war people sure can. [TPM]

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  • MissusBarry

    Must be the welfare recipients in teabagger havens take placebos.

  • AFKensington

    Gotta have some disposable income to buy drugs on the regular…

  • Barb

    So, Boeing will be hiring soon?

    • 'Tis fall, soon the kids will again be on their hands & knees in the parks looking for Liberty Caps a lost contact.

    • V572 Moon!

      A single 'shroom use makes you a better person? Man, you won't believe how good I've gotten!

    • orygoon

      good lord, I have an endless list of people who need a dose.

    • Beowoof

      Too many Xtians would be afraid they were having a good time.

    • UW8316154

      I live in the Pacific Northwest. Schrooms grow naturally, everywhere. My back yard, around the U of W, cow pastures….

  • fuflans

    i hope none of this interferes with the paultards' plans to skydive.

    • Beowoof

      Hopefully sans chute.

  • Callyson

    “Now we request your full attention as the flight attendants demonstrate the construction flaws, I mean safety features, of this aircraft”.

  • And folks sometimes wonder why in C'Addle the locals often refer to the Boeing Company as the Lazy B.

    • emmelemm


      Incidentally, I miss Almost Live.

      • Sounds like the Lazy B is having a Kent kinda day.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          It has long been run by Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-ups.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        The good news is that KING shows Almost Live after SNL on Saturdays, and KONG started showing best of shows this month (don't know if they plan to keep that up). Still, we need a return of Almost Live, because people here are starting to take thing way to seriously.

        Plus, without the Lame Report, how can I know what is weak this week?

        • emmelemm

          Sadly, I don't have a TIVO, and after SNL is too late 4 me b/c I'm old. I might try to connect with a best-of show on KONG. And no, "playing" individual skits on YouTube just ain't the same.

          Growing up in the 80s, three of my four best friends' dads worked for Boeing. The fourth didn't have a dad around. Good? times…. (Different times, anyway.)

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            The Best ofs are at midnight on Saturday, so unless you plan to get a TIVO (which is how I get them, since we are of an age, I take it), or you know how to program your vcr, you are out of luck. Still, if you are up late, it is well worth it.

      • bagofmice

        Seriously. Bill Nye has been reduced to making short sentences on Fox.

  • Pragmatist2

    The real issue here is that Republicans get totally bent out of shape by the notion of the poor being happy. It threatens their entire world view.

    • Negropolis

      You know, this is so much the truth that it's not even funny. This is like one of the central beliefs of their faith. God forbid that a poor man or woman make the best of a bad situation. God forbid that they go somewhere besides the thrift store to buy their children school clothes.

    • V572 Moon!

      That's why they hate unions too. Why should a guy who bolts tailgates on Ford Country Squires all day be able to send his kids to college? It jes ain' right.

      • Negropolis

        It's why I could never be a Republican. They talk about class warfare and pretend to revere upward mobility, but every single one of their policies and ideologies is meant to discourage people from being able to climb up the social ladder.

        • HistoriCat

          The most important thing is to pull the social ladder up after you're done climbing. It's the Alice in Wonderland approach – everyone is bunched in at the end of the table shouting, "no room! There's simply no room!"

          • Negropolis

            I've always imagined the situation as being on the Titanic, and the rich people have the lifeboats, and whenever a poor tries to climb in they kick and beat them senseless until they let go of the boat. Every time where in or nearing a crisis they pull up the ladders and stuff everyone else down as far as they can.

    • comrad_darkness

      "The Meek Shall Inherit Fuck-All" — The Republican Bible, Revision

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I believe Boeing is following the Chilean Model, and thus will need a different photo.

    From a leftist perspective, Venezuelan Models also have a lot to be said for them.

    • DustBowlBlues

      During the last World Cup, when I become a futbol fan again after four years of not paying attention, I was cruising around soccer sites and trying to cram for the exam and on SI's web site, came across "girlfriends of the soccer players." Of course I clicked on it because, as a self-loathing American woman I like to reinforce my feelings about my own body, and was somewhat taken aback by the number of Brazilian players who were dating swimsuit and/or lingerie models. Wow.

      And Brazil has a better economy than Chile, so why doesn't Herb Cain site them? (You did watch Countdown last night, didn't you?)

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Will be right back….
        Or in a short time anyway.

        (also derelict hippie hipster elitist has pretty much stopped watching TV altogether )

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Okay, I'm back. Whew.

        Uhhhh, soccer? Don't care for it.

  • spends2much

    So it's more depressing to work at Boeing than to be unemployed in Florida?? Damn…

  • Generation[redacted]

    The Free Mexican Air Force is flying high tonight!

  • PuckStopsHere

    Anybody who has to buy oxy or xany in the parking lot must have a shitty health care plan or a tightass for a doctor. And, I wonder, is Placebo a generic? Cause it sounds to me like it should be covered too.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Newsflash, Florida Scottard: drugs have no caloric value. People on welfare need food & shelter, neither of which are provided by drugs, you fuckhead. Can anyone say this too many times: I hate those teatard Republicans with every fiber of my being?

    • fuflans

      i keep hoping the next election cycle will take care of this problem, but i'm not at all sure it will.

      also, the damage they do in the interim…

    • Doktor Zoom

      See? libruls are full of hate!

  • Amo_of_Bogio

    Fentanyl? FENTANYL, Fenta-fucking-nyl! Was somebody gunshot? You can die from handling Fentanyl patches incorrectly. Maybe they had a moose that needed sedating. Def not a recreational drug.

    • mumbly_joe

      And yet, a quick google search suggests that an awful lot of folks take to recreatin' with it, all the same: nurse sto…

      I still can't decide which is worse, nurses stealing meds from their terminal patients, or children stealing pain meds from their terminal parents (the latter of which I have a funny work story about, actually). In one, you have someone betraying their role as caregiver to get high, but in the other, you're also letting your own flesh and blood suffer excruciating pain to do so. And possibly representing yourself as someone interested in caring for your ailing parent in the process, for a 2x Inhuman Cruelty Combo.

      • Sparky_McGruff

        Somehow, I sincerely doubt that your story is really that funny. No offense.

        • mumbly_joe

          The part where the patient found out, and the profanity-laced phone call (en Español) that ensued sorta had its moment, but overall? No, not really, actually.

      • angryhaiku

        I had one of those illnesses that they give you the good drugs for, and I passed those drugs out like they were candy. The nurse thing is crappy, but…if it looks like you're terminally ill, your doctor will write for whatever you want, guaranteeing enough to numb your physical pain, and your loved ones' emotional pain. Win-win!

    • prommie

      Where can I get this?

  • Rotundo_

    I don't know what the big deal is: The folks working for Antonov and Mikoyan-Gurevich over in Russia built plenty of planes so pissed up from Vodka that they could barely walk and how many Soviet era planes have crashed? Oh. Well at least we have better FAA inspection staffing to keep track of problems with all of our airliners! Oh. The republicans are trying to gut the FAA because they have a problem with unions… Well, at least we have prettier scenery to crash into! Always looking for that bright spot like Nikki is!

    • Chichikovovich

      It's a great day to plummet to earth in South Carolina!

      • Jukesgrrl

        Oh, I wish I could give you more than one upfist for that.

  • AlterNewt

    Meanwhile, the FBI will be submitting a request for supplemental funding, due to large outlays for placebos and fake explosives.

  • MissusBarry

    Well, I know where to go next time I need a fix and my dealer's MIA.

  • DemonicRage

    You have to keep people drugged to keep on building planes where the seating (in economy class) is so tight that you're pretty much guaranteed to get a blood clot from a trans-Atlantic flight. The workers might exhibit a conscience if they weren't stoned all the time.

    • Generation[redacted]

      It's those scripts, the most boring drugs in the world what makes folks mean. If they were on shrooms then all the economy class seats would be bean bag chairs and instead of SkyMall you would get a lava lamp to stare at.

  • Goonemeritus

    I have been a General Manager for a defense plant in the North East. I used to dread when we had to hire a large numbers of skilled machinists because of the FAA mandatory drug testing. At one point I was retracting two out of every three offers I made to this trade because of failed (sometimes spectacularly) test results. I remember like it was yesterday accusing my HR Manager of doing all her recruiting at the Methadone clinic.

    • "…FAA mandatory drug testing."

      This is the kind of think Ron Paul and the TP'ers are against. Let the market decide! No more safety standards for airplanes. That will make tickets so cheap they won't even be able to give 'em away.

    • Chichikovovich

      My favorite brother-in-law is a skilled tradesman – not a machinist but the same sort of thing. From close observation I've determined that he spent the first 20 years of his adult life fully mastering his trade, and the next 15 perfecting the art of passing drug tests despite doing so many drugs that I get high just hearing him talk about an average weekend.

    • Mrspanky

      I'm with you bro. After mandatory piss tests back in the Nineties, we had trouble keeping TDY test teams in exotic locals such as Kwaj, Wake, Kodiak and Yuma.

    • prommie

      Repetitive precision work is, in the end, boring, and for all I may be insane, it seems to me that being half-zonked can make the boring interesting again, you actually get into it, a bit. Machinists have to be half-smart at least, and the smarter someone is, the more painful the boredom. They probably pay better attention to what they are doing stoned, than they would if they were sober, and therefore more easily distracted.

    • nonbeliever7

      If they tested for Gin, i would have lost my cushy defense job a long time ago. Enjoy the hyprocrisy of white men middle managers….

  • Gorillionaire

    Such white trash drugs. I expected so much more from our war profiteering elite.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      I was thinking the same thing. Hillbilly Heroin. PA isn't really that far from the Appalachia.

    • prommie

      No, meth is the ultimate white trash drug, and is conspicuosly absent. keed spills.

  • Nostrildamus

    I want the folks that make our precious deathbots to be mellow.

  • Negropolis

    I am so embarrassed and sad that for at least until the end of 2012, Michigan can be mentioned among Arizona, Georgia and Florida. :( This is what happens when you don't vote, people. As recently as 2008, 41% of voters, here, described themselves as Democrats, 29% and Independents (who usually lean Democrat), and 29% Republican. This is not a red state, but hell if it didn't vote like it was in 2010 because of some lazy fuckers.

    • PuckStopsHere

      Just wait until the poors get kicked off the welfare rolls Monday. Then we won't be just mentioned among them, we'll be the envy of them.

      • Negropolis

        Here is what the Republican legislature here has did since getting elected:

        – "reformed" food assistance because they found a few folks who had bought a lobster or two.
        – passed another (fifth times the charm, eh?) anti-abortion bill
        – tried to punish universities for offering benefits for non-married (read: gay) partners
        – taxed senior citizens to pay for a massive business tax cut
        – tried to pass so many bills limiting medical marijuana usage that it practically makes a mockery of the voter-passed 2008 amendement
        – Had the conservative-stacked Michigan Court of Appeals rule that selling the marijuana in dispensaries is illegal, thus effectively shutting down distribution of the medicine and shuttering hundreds of new businesses (wow, what job creators!)

        Tell me what I'm forgetting? It's been absolutely horrible, here.

        • Don't forget the newly empowered Emergency Financial Managers–Snyder's Gauleiters–to abrogate all the union contracts and fire all the teachers.

      • Chichikovovich

        Listening to the radio in the car this afternoon and I heard an ad I'd never heard before: "Are you no longer receiving [I can't remember what the precise euphemism is, but basically: welfare]? Michigan Human services is here to help…" And the ad then said, essentially, though of course in appropriately softened euphemisms – "you're probably desperate and have no idea where to turn. We can help you find a few scraps of assistance here and there, like heat assistance for people who would otherwise freeze, and food for kids who would otherwise starve…."

        On one hand, I was pleased to hear that the state social services have anticipated the problems approaching at the end of this month, and they are doing what they can to help. The civil servants who work in these agencies are dedicated, caring people or they would never take those emotionally draining jobs. But it was heartbreaking to get this reminder that the people at the agencies know exactly what a tsunami of hardship is coming, and all they can do is hope to be able to find band-aids and small palliatives to keep the wolves from the door as best they can.

        • Negropolis

          You read the News, today? They are reporting that 21,000 folks in Detroit alone will be kicked off the rolls on Saturday. Talk about a city trying to get back on its feet being directly kicked in the teeth, and by its own state government, no less. There are no jobs in the city, and now they are kicking them off the rolls, so what exactly does the state expect to happen? I mean, really, what do they think is going to happen in an already dirt-poor violent city?

          You know, if welfare reform was being in conjunction with immediately placing people in job training, I think it might be just a bit easier to swallow if even still laughable when you take into account the dearth of jobs in the region. But, to just toss people off a few months before the snows rolls in?

    • No kidding. It's shameful to read "Florida and other teabagger-ruled feifdoms like Georgia, Michigan and Arizona".

      Michigan has never had the death penalty; the Congress of Industrial Organizations was run from Detroit as was the IBT; Walter fucking Reuther organized the UAW here–and now Michigan is mentioned with bottom of the barrel hell holes like those.

      Fuck fuck fuckity fuck Snyder, the GOP and all the democrats who didn't vote.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Someone told them they should join the ‘Mile-high’ club, but they were already too high to understand the ins and outs of such a concept.

    • comrad_darkness

      I see what you did there.

  • elfgoldsackring

    *fiefdoms. May as well learn how to spell it now, it will be word of the year 2014.

    • HistoriCat

      Serfs don't need to worry about proper spelling!

  • owhatever

    Gives extra meaning to the new Dreamliner. But, free market wise, twenty-three drug dealers and only fourteen customers?

  • Guppy06

    Drugs cost money, and you don't have money if you don't have a job.


  • JackObin

    Wretched socialist junkie? Sounds suspiciously like Pugsly Limbaugh or your average military retiree.

  • chascates

    I certainly can't wait to fly in the new 787 now!

  • rickmaci

    Why am I not surprised? I was always of the impression drug dealers were strictly COD. By definition poor people are not likely to be a viable market for them because, well, poor people don't have any money. Let's face it, "welfare" and "poor" are dog whistles for BLACK and this whole thing is nothing more than Jim Crowing of public benefit programs.

  • mavenmaven

    Flyin' High With Boeing!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The drugs being distributed, according to the feds “include but are not limited to fentanyl (Actiq), oxycodone (Oxycontin), alprazolam (Xanax) and buprenorphine (Suboxone).”

    Sounds like Rush Limbaugh's normal breakfast.

  • Remember US America air forcey types! Your equipment was made by the lowest bidder and they were stoned.

  • Were they union workers? Because then we should take away the entire union's collective bargaining rights, pension funds, and health insurance. And move the plant to South Carolina. That'll teach 'em.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Wasn't cheap non-union labor the reason Boeing moved stuff to PA?

      • Honestly, I didn't check to see if PA is a right-to-work state because it would have nullified the snark. But I wouldn't be surprised if you're correct.

        • Jukesgrrl

          PA used to be a really pro-union state, thanks to the steel mills. Today, not so much — Reagan knock them down and NAFTA stepped on them. The recent problems with employee abuse by Hershey's and Amazon were both in PA.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You'll likely never hear "Hello! It's a great day in South Carolina!" spoken with more high-as-a-787 radiance.

  • Ancient_Hacker

    Do you know how many rivets you have to blam into a 747? About 1.5 million. No way you can do that job while not high.

    • prommie

      You get it.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Not fair! Only teh poorz are supposed to be drug tested, not defense contractors!

  • Drug dealers who rely on welfare recipients for their business will be on welfare themselves before long.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Like Boeing isn't a welfare recipient…

  • V572 Moon!

    Right now when I'm on a plane and they announce that restroom isn't working or I find my seat won't recline, I always "kid" the flight attendants by saying, "Hope the same people don't maintain the engines or control surfaces." Now I can say, "Hope this isn't one of the 737s that rolled off the line at 4:20." Thanks, Boeing stoners!

  • I look forward to Fox-n-Friend's segment tomorrow morning discussing why highly skilled workers need illegal drugs.

    • V572 Moon!

      Excellent, as is your monicker!

  • NPRadiotherapy®

    Yeah, so this is why they don't make 714's anymore.

    • paris biltong

      You pillhead! And downers to boot. Gimme some of that sweet speed with brakes and I'll work (and talk) all day.
      Meanwhile, it boggles the mind to think that they spent five years on an investigation that netted them a handful of med dealers and a bunch of buyers (attempted possession – you probably get probation for that if they don't throw out the charge). I would be tempted to bet that the proportion of med dealers, users and wannabes is the same at Boeing as anywhere else, including the police dept. and the armed forces.

    • prommie

      Thats funny!

  • Walkinwiddaking

    This was just in Pa.? Like most defense contractors Boeing has its tentacles embedded in numerous states. Being paid top dollar and allowed to be comfortably numb? Sign me up.

  • PalinzADummy

    Oh, wow, those are all legal drugs. I thought they were busted for pot, or something.

  • NPRadiotherapy®

    Build the dang fence!

  • mumbly_joe

    I actually know a couple of folks who worked at that plant, from my college days: I was a volunteer firefighter, two towns over.

    I'd say that they didn't seem like the type, being fairly aged relative to my young'un self, but the truth is, when you're talking about suburbs of Philly, everyone's 'the type', no matter what, basically.

  • rahelio

    Am I the only one surprised that Adderall wasn't on the list?

  • Ancient_Hacker

    Do you know how many rivets you have to blam into a 747? About 1.5 million. No way you can do that job while not high.

    • MiniMencken

      In Pennsylvannia, they build military helicopters. How many rivets in one a dem?

  • Whaddaya expect. The entire mission of the corporation is dedicated to getting masses of people high, every single day.

  • When's the Boeing 420 coming out?

  • StarsUponThars

    Everybody knows that you never buy a war death machine that was built on a Friday or a Monday.

  • OneYieldRegular

    This is NOT the mile-high club I was hoping to join.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Last weekend I saw a young man spinning one of the "Going out of business" signs on the side of the road. My sweetie remarked that he looked stoned. Hell, I can't imagine someone doing that job and NOT being lit.

  • Warpde

    So that's why the drones can't hit the side of a barn at 10 feet.
    Damn you Oxycontin.

  • not that Dewey


  • Jukesgrrl

    Why am I expecting that one person arrested who WASN'T an employee to be named James O'Keefe?

  • BZ1

    … and Soviet aviation technicians used to drink the hydraulic fluids because they had a high alcohol content, nothing new apparently …

  • DesertTed

    They're probably just using amphetamines, you know, the pills the Air Force uses.

  • Like I said people WITH money buy and use drugs. People on welfare don't have any muneeee.. it's math stupids. Actually people on welfare are much more likely to be a victim of a crime from someone on or trying to get drugs since they often live in the worst neighborhoods. Poor people robbing poor people. It's why rich folks moved to the exurbs.

  • ttommyunger

    I guarantee I would have to be high all the fucking time if I were back in the corporate sector, or go Postal.

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