Will Herman Cain Propose Chilean-Style Student Riots?

  herman cain's chilean model

And here's the top Google result for 'Chilean Model'Jabbering nincompoop Herman Cain is the new star of the GOP 2012 Campaign, this week — that’s how much Republicans don’t like their front-runner, Mitt Romney. Herman Cain’s policy positions are as ridiculous as they are insane: Something about the Number Nine, Number Nine, and then something about Obama showing up at GOP debates to ask Herman Cain how to hire minimum-wage pizza delivery people, and then the special privatized Social Security scheme supposedly from Chile. Herman Cain’s platform is like searching Google for the word “the” and picking three random results from the ninth page and then adding “Chilean Model,” for pageviewz. BUT, it seems his favorite country has actually exploded with the most intense riots of the moment. Hot commie gals! Riot dogs! Blood and fire! It’s fantastic. Herman Cain probably wants some Chilean-style General Strike riots to demolish Wall Street and then go after the regional fast-food chains, right? Because Chile is the new example for Republican Politics ….

Here (via Cryptogon) is a big bunch of Big Picture photographs of fury in the streets, and here’s what’s going on in Chile:

SANTIAGO — Chile’s student federation agreed to talks with the government of President Sebastian Pinera on education reforms after nearly five months of demonstrations.

But student leaders on Tuesday said they would be calling for no classes to be held while the talks are ongoing, to maintain pressure on the government.

“We are participating to continue out constant struggle for free, democratized education in Chile,” said Giorgio Jackson, a leader of the CONFECH student confederation.

 
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Guess what the government of Chile is doing after these wild protests and total work stops? The government is meeting with the youth protesters and has conceded defeat. It’s offering stuff to the protesters, whatever they want, basically — just stop the insane riots! Somebody please print this out and tuck a few copies here and there at the Zuccotti Park protest library, for freedom!

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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152 comments

        1. Tommmcattt

          Ah, fisty for you on that one. Good to see that the rest of the male wonkaratti are enormous pigs, just like me. Keep on truckin', freaks…

  1. littlebigdaddy

    Cain's just been listening to The White Album a lot lately–that's where he gets the "number nine" thing from.

  2. AlterNewt

    "But student leaders on Tuesday said they would be calling for no classes to be held while the talks are ongoing…"

    Haha. They always call for that.

  3. Chichikovovich

    "But student leaders on Tuesday said they would be calling for no classes to be held while the talks are ongoing, to maintain pressure on the government."

    In '93 I was teaching at Berkeley and they had a big graduate student strike lasting the whole term. I was only teaching graduate classes, so it was like a term of leave. I enjoyed that a lot. Really, it was quite pleasant. I hope students here are inspired by their comrades in Chile.

    That's my thoughts on this matter. Please take them seriously, young people.

    1. NPRadiotherapy®

      Actually, it's not "authentic" black music. So as a "strong" black man he doesn't listen to the Beatles.

    1. flamingpdog

      The first (and only) time I had Godfather's Pizza I thought they had spilled a ten-pound bag of sugar in the pizza sauce.

      And pdogs lurve sweet things, trust me on that.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      Well, Chilean sea bass is just the market friendly name for "Patagonian toothfish," so this fits with the GOP process of renaming something to make it sound more palatable.

      1. orygoon

        Paying for NPR is still voluntary, what I can afford and when I can afford it. There's a really good article about this in the Grey Lady, but I shop there carefully with 20free/month, because right now, I can't afford its rates.

        Hoping my Wonkette is forever within my meagre means!

        1. GunToting[Redacted]

          Here's a helpful tip to bypass the "paywall…" If you click on a link on the front page, you hit the 20/month limit, but NYT allows free linking from other sites/blogs/whatever.
          When I hit my 20 threshold, all I do is copy links into an email message and send them to myself. Click the links, read the articles. It's really more of a pay "low hedge."

      1. SmutBoffin

        Maybe I misremember, but there was somebody who used to put up gratuitous lingerie model pics. Maybe it was in the days of SKS…

          1. Grief_Lessons

            AMC posted a photo of a lineup of young women patriots who had shaved their pubes to spell "Bush". I'm pretty sure the punchline was that she could find no corresponding photo for "Kerry", so this was a few years back.

      1. Ken Layne

        No way in hell, not in 2007. Not much in 2006, either. (Pareene took over early in 2006; I joined him here in the summer of that year … and supposedly retired from writing this swill in, uh, 2007 and 2009 and again in 2011. And I really will go back to retirement when we eventually find a suitable helper-goblin for Kirsten.)

        1. Not_So_Much

          Well, all that happened back in the halcyon days when most of us had jobs. So exact dates, or functioning synapses, may be elusive to some of we monster.com LinkedIn day-walking zombies. But I feel strongly the year started with a '2'.

          Good luck on your next odd-year retirement!

  4. CapnFatback

    Uh, Ken, I do believe that Cain, the Pizza Godfather, was referring to the Chili's model of social security, which calls for the oldz getting benefits in the form of Loaded Potato Skins.

  5. Callyson

    Yeah, about that Chilean model:
    But while the reform's supporters argue it has been a major success story, officials both inside and outside Chile now increasingly question whether the high costs and modest investment returns have doomed Piñera's original promise: a decent retirement income for workers at a savings for the government. Last year, the World Bank, which until recently encouraged countries to privatize pensions, published a highly skeptical report on private retirement systems in Latin America; Truman Packard, one of the report's authors, says the bank has told the Chilean government that it must spend more to subsidize the private system and "increase its role in preventing old-age poverty." http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/09/herman-cain-c
    Countdown to Cain's explanation of how Obama's Social Security will prevent him from retiring in 3…2…1…

    1. JustPixelz

      Those word things you wrote look like facts. I prefer to get my opinions by looking at pictures of Chilean models.

      The problem — if you ask me — with a wholly privatized retirement system is that is discourages retirement when the economy is in a downturn. People stay in the jobs (if they can) waiting for better conditions in their 401k (or whatever). A better public policy is to encourage those people to retire so jobs open up for younger workers.

  6. WhatTheHeck

    Ha! What do students know about sex or politics anyway? Leave that to the hardened politicians, please.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    This Pinera fellow sounds familiar — despite Chile having a robust economy, he's instituted cuts in education. Not to mention he seems to have found where Gen. Pinochet stashed all those armored cars with water cannons on top. And the students are still protesting — Scott Walker, take note.

    1. Beowoof

      I keep recommending that conservatives move there and take their guns with them as they will have plenty of opportunity to exercise their second amendment solutions.

    2. BTWBFDIMHO

      No government, no taxes, no public goods and services, and use to Navy to collect ransom from the Chinese cargo ships in order to finance the army, which can be used to invade one or two countries/per Santorum (google it) to force their local populations to pay taxes to the warlords. What can be wrong?

  8. baconzgood

    Chilean Hotie, Kortney Gherkin, Michael Moore.

    One of these things is NOT like the others on this page.

  9. weejee

    Well Cain is clearly wondering why NYPD held back on the water cannons at the Wall Street do, that woulda sent Riley and his mates body surfing all the way to Central Park.

    1. Not_So_Much

      Yeah, I'm not proud of it — but I'd have to really consider anyone that had her as part of their campaign. Well, not Santorum or Newtblob — but, you know, *real* humans.

  10. Rotundo_

    Nothing like having the same assholes who took the world into the shitter taking an interest in doing the same thing again with pensions this time. Goldman Sachs skimming a nice 20% off the top of my retirement savings makes me all excited. I want to buy hookers and blow some more for those nice folks, and some mansions and yachts too while we're at it. Why don't we just fucking surrender to them?

  11. DemonicRage

    9 – 9 – 9!!!!! Just keep saying it. It solves every problem. Why didn't the magical unicorn think of it?

    1. V572 Moon!

      Yeah why not? Congress passes 9-9-9 or the Flat Tax that Steve Forbes wanted, or the Fair Tax that Huckabuck wanted, and you think Congress will never change it again, or add loopholes, or carve out "tax expenditures" for their most loyal constituents at BP and Exxon and Haliburton.

      Or how about this, Mr & Mrs America? Under 9-9-9, no more mortgage interest deduction. How does that sound to you? Not so good, henghengh?

  12. bflrtsplk

    I clicked the link looking for more pictures of hot Latino babes and all I get are cops in riot gear and water logged students. What a gyp.

  13. V572 Moon!

    Man the investment bankers stock brokers are having enormous stiffies beneath their mahogany desks thinking of getting their hands on everybody's SS checks. "Now Mrs Fenstermacher, let me show you why a managed fund that charges 2 percent of assets under management every year is a much better deal for you than those silly old index funds and government bonds you've got your money invested in now. Look at this SuperHighPaybackCan'tEverLose Fund — it had a 20 percent return from May 17th 2009 at 9:30 AM until May 19th 2010 at 3:45 PM! You can't make that kind of money on index funds! Well yes I do get a kickback from the fund company, but it's still worth it"

    1. prommie

      I was on the Vestry of an episcopal church, and a stockbroker came to a vestry meeting to pitch his special fund to us, the one he said he only allowed his bestest most special friends into. He told us he specialized in managing money for nonprofits (I imagine because the amatuers on most nonprofit boards are easy marks), and he created this fund just to meet the investment needs of nonprofits. Then he told us he created the fund in 1997. Then, 5 minutes later, he showed us a graph which purported to show the performance of the fund from 1990 to 2002. At this point, I asked how he determined the performance numbers for the years before the fund came into existence. He phumphered mightily and mumbled something about extrapolating. I was in cross-examination mode by then, and I demolished him. The other bozos on the vestry still voted to give him the $2 million, which soon became $1 million.

  14. BlueStateLibel

    It's worth it to check out the Chile riot photos just to see that dog doing a handstand. Is Cain going to recommend the Greek economic model next?

  15. ApplesauceRobot

    She can rollover my 401K, anytime.

    I'd let her invest my Social Security in private, if you know what I mean.

    I'd like to tax her dividends, all night long.

    This isn't working, is it?

  16. proudgrampa

    Wow. If Herman promises to fill his cabinet with Chilean Models like her, I may have to vote Republican for the first time in my life.

    Did I mention that those are nice casabas?

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Conservatives are constantly yelling that Obama wants to make us a European Socialist Democracy, and that is evil.

    But making us a South American Tin Pot dictatorship? What can be wrong with that?

  18. mereoblivion

    If that's what Cain dresses like in his down time, how long till the Hollywood biopic starring Leonardo?

  19. Pragmatist2

    Herman Cain exists so that in a post-Obama world people can still understand that some African Americans are blathering idiots.

  20. Billmatic

    Camila Vallejo is a seriously purty gurl, golly and plus she's a communist revolutionary. If she played the guitar with a half dozen pedals I think my head would explode.

    …I need a very cold shower.

  21. CHUDster_Arthur

    I thought that the "Miracle Of Chile" was when troublesome leftists and anti-government agitators miraculously vanished (into mass graves), for freedom.

  22. mavenmaven

    And on a serious note, remember that the "Chilean Model" was the preferred model for Republican foreign policy for many years, overthrowing democratically elected leaders they didn't like (Allende), putting in dictators (Pinochet) and killing folk singers (Victor Jara, RIP).

  23. friendlyskies

    Barf. Yeah, September 11, nevar forget. Piñera was a murderous neoco stooge back before his cantankerous old puppetmasters had even considered hauling Reagan out of the mothballs. Friedman even used Piñera and his ilk as justification for the bloodbath, because "members of Chile's best families" were involved with the coup. Like it was Victorian high tea at the national stadium or something. Pizza pizza.

    Regardless, I hope Cain gets the nomination so we can milk the religious imagery of Cain trying to take down his "brother" Obama, the one who is "Able" to do the job as President.

  24. Antispandex

    I'm with Hermie on this one. I love chili….but the Teapublicans kind of give me indigestion. Oh, wait a minute. CHILE! Darn. I'm going to have to read more carefully.

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