happy 9/11 month

Drone Terror Attack Thwarted Because Only Pentagon Is Allowed To Do That

He's back!What could be wrong about a robot-drone plane raining death and destruction upon the Enemy? Everything, when a Muslim wants to do it! (Otherwise, this is called “10 years of U.S. war in Afghanistan.”) Somehow, the FBI found an angry young Islamic dude in America who was, for some reason, angry about the endless murder of Muslims committed by the U.S. Department of Defense under orders from the Defense Contractors and their primary lobbyists, the U.S. Congress. And then the FBI did the usual thing of giving this dude a bunch of “fake” military explosives and assault weapons, so they could arrest him for having these things they just gave him, so they could say, “Terror Averted! (Please double our anti-terrorism budget, for freedom.)”

Reuters reports on this alleged scheme to use a remote-controlled plane to fly into the Pentagon and Capitol:

“The conduct alleged today shows that Mr. Ferdaus had long planned to commit violent acts against our country,” U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz said in a statement.

The statement said the public was never in danger from the explosive devices, which were controlled by undercover FBI employees.

Uhh, hello, anti-terror police-state crooks? You were supposed to put one of these deals together three weeks ago, for 9/11 Day. Chop chop, boys! [Reuters]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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    1. V572 Moon!

      ♪♫I'm being followed by a Predator drone♪♬


      ♪♫The FBI is coming to entrap us, they're coming to entrap us♪♬

    2. HarryButtle

      Now I've been happy lately
      Thinking about the good things to come
      And I believe it could be
      Something good has begun
      I've been smiling lately
      Dreaming about the world as one
      And I believe it could be
      Something good's bound to come

      For out on the edge of darkness
      There flies the peace drone
      Peace drone take this country
      Come take me home again

  1. skoalrebel

    This is what happens when we let the Gay Jihad invade our country. [spit!] The Mooselimb jihadis and their gay anchor babies are coming here to establish Sharia law and destroy marriage. Then they'll take away our guns and only let us play with toy airplanes. Secure the border!

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Dude was gonna fly a toy plane into the Pentagon, which would be the least-noticed terrorist attack since Bill Ayers blew up a urinal there. If the FBI is so intent on keeping us safe from people with absolutely no sense of proportion, then why is Glenn Beck still roaming the streets?

  3. MiniMencken

    It's not the size of the man in the jihad, it's the size of the jihad in the man! Don't you people know that?

    1. Chichikovovich

      Yeah, but when Al-Jazeera asked him about blasting the wedding, he was going to say it was actually male soldiers wearing wedding dresses and wigs. A plot to make jihadists look bad.

  4. Come here a minute

    It's a good thing no agency ever tried to frame liberals with fantasies of blowing up Bush and Cheney; it would have been like shooting fish in a barrel. The fake Secret Service did manage to keep dangerous tee shirts away, though.

  5. MildMidwesterner

    Clever government folks: Agency 1 stages an attack on Agency 2. Agency 1 averts attack and can justify an increased budget due to recent successes. Agency 2, meanwhile, can demonstrate that it is a terror target and therefore deserves a budgetary increase. Both Agency 1 and Agency 2 win!

    I can't wait to see how Health & Human Services stages an attack on the Department of Education.

    1. HistoriCat

      Washington, December 2011:
      The DEA reported a major sting came to a successful conclusion as part of an investigation into a "drugs for arms" scheme. Authorities believe the suspects may have ties to South American terrorist organizations.
      The ATF has announced sweeping arrests of members of an arms trafficking ring. "These clowns were taking drugs and cash in exchange for firearms," said the chief agent. "This may be the most significant operation the ATF has completed in over a decade."
      The FBI continues its crackdown on suspected terrorist organizations with a "huge" bust of suspected Al Qaeda operatives. "This group of suspects made contact with narco-traffickers in a large-scale swap of arms for money and narcotics," an FBI spokesman said today.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Admiral Ackbar – isn't that the guy they wouldn't allow into Ole Miss? Probably 'cause he was a terrorist.

  6. baconzgood

    He doesn't sound very smart. How does trying to procure a drone plane NOT raise some flags? It's not like you can go into the sporting goods section of WalMart and say "I'll take some bait, and a few fish hooks, (coughing in hand) a drone plane, a tent, and where do you keep your camo pants?"

      1. baconzgood

        It looks like it would as much dammage as those balsa wood things with the twist the rubber band to make it fly.

    1. AlterNewt

      …This..uh. .ping-pong table net, that Swiss army knife -no, the little one- aaaannnd….whaddy'all got in the way of contact explosives?"

    2. Negropolis

      It's not really a drone plane. We're talking about hobbyist RC planes. I had a really cheap one when I was a kid (the ones you fly on a line). We used to go watch the air shows when the hobbyist would fly them. Actually, we were even more into model rockets.

  7. DemonicRage

    Cheney would be so proud. He has no pulse–right? So, do you think he still shows excitement in a way that you can see?

    1. PalinzADummy

      The crest running down his spine becomes erect and flushed with the blood of the most recently devoured fetii.

  8. MissTaken

    Wait! I know this movie:

    It's the one where the two bored old white men decide to frame their best employee (a white) with a super cheesy pack of money and replace him with a homeless beggar (a black) to see how long it takes for the white to go berserk. And Jamie Lee Curtis showed her tits.

  9. BlueStateLibel

    So basically, the FBI's primary functions nowadays are to: 1) lure and entrap Americans into blowing up America, and 2) pose as 13 year-old girls on the interwebs. Sounds easy, where do I sign up?

  10. SaintRond

    They want to kill us because we're so absolutely wonderful. Sixty years of solitary confinement in Florance, Colorado, will make him see the error of his ways.

  11. WhatTheHeck

    What a moron. Why would he seek to harm us Americans? We have everything anyone would ever need to live a peaceful, happy life: DWTS on teevee, 1/2 lb anus burgers and internet pron.

    Leave us alone.

  12. Goonemeritus

    Apparently this guy was a model airplane enthusiast this is a well know subset of men best characterized by their utter inability to get laid. As the years go by it is becoming increasingly clear that sexual frustration is playing a role in this conflict. The last 6 or 7 “Terrorists” had lack of slap & tickle as a common theme in their narrative. I propose we either round up the celibate or we reconstitute home land security as a crack team of aggressive tramps.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Hmm, if that's true, then I'm probably only a month or so longer of a dry spell away from joining Team Death-to-America, myself. I sure hope I can find a lady who's willing to make the sexytime with me, for America.

    2. Negropolis

      As someone who pracitcally lived in hobby stores and shops as a kid and teen, I think you might be on to something…

    1. freakishlywrong

      Jenkins' comments were greeted by frowns, a few cuss words and at least one shout of “liar” from an audience member.

      They really are awful, tantrumy, children. Ugh.

    2. Chichikovovich

      To judge by the description of the crowd, I'm guessing that 95% of those guys are divorced, with restraining orders out against them, and are skipping out on their child care payments. So Walsh's appeal is understandable.

    3. SarahsBush

      I have been to Huntley. You wouldn't think the Deep South could establish itself so close to a city like Chicago, but it has.

    4. ThundercatHo

      He's my favorite asshole too. Besides not paying his child support (isn't that a jailable offense?) he now wants a bunch of nitwits and imbeciles to be able to carry their guns around in public. If he is willing to do anything for votes I'm sure it would be less dangerous to just suck Rush Limbaugh's dick on TV.

    5. CapnFatback

      He closed by quoting a bumper sticker he recently saw: “Blaming the gun for gun violence is like blaming the spoon that made Roseanne Barr fat.”

      Two things:

      1. He "recently" saw a bumper sticker ripping Rosanne Barr's weight? What, was it on the back of an '89 Buick Skylark?

      2. HA HA, great analogy, which would make total sense if Rosanne were using her spoon to make other people fat.


      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        nice *fat* analogy Cap'n…my guess is '89 Buick Skylarks (what a total piece of GM crap) is REAL popular in Walsh's neighborhood since you can pay CASH for them, so the federales can't track you for non-payment of child support

  13. NPRadiotherapy®

    A decade of Fatherland Security has kept us safe, oh wait, it's the FBI who caught this guy, my bad.

  14. GunToting[Redacted]

    When RC planes are outlawed, only terrerists will have RC planes. Send your donation to the NRCA today!

    1. prommie

      Members of the NRCA get $100,000 of liability insurance against claims arising out of the use of their model planes, way more than enough to cover all potential damage this plot was likely to cause.

  15. ttommyunger

    The FBI has become the Number One Best Agency for planning, detecting and preventing its own criminal plots. I don't know how they do it! I'm waiting with breathless anticipation for the video of agents wrestling themselves to the ground. If only J. Edgar Hoover were alive to see this today; I'm sure he'd take Clyde Tolson's dick out of his mouth long enough to say "Well Done!".

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      nice Clyde Tolson reference, one od the biggest two douchebags/ criminals in the history of the FBI…he and JEH was a great couple (of assholes) for years, eh?

      1. ttommyunger

        I get bitter consolation from the fact that I know they both lived every minute of every day in a state of constant fear of being outed publicly. Can't be that good a quality of life.

    1. chicken_thief

      You realize that "Rezwan Ferdaus" spelled backwards is "Suadrer Nawzer", don't you? **knowing nod** Nuff said.

  16. Callyson

    Ferdaus allegedly ordered the plane using the alias "Dave Winfield."
    Well, George Steinbrenner would have figured this guy for a terrorist right away:
    n 1981, New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner made headlines by signing Winfield to a 10-year, $23 million ($55,541,116 today) contract, making him the game's highest-paid player. Steinbrenner mistakenly thought he was signing Winfield for $16 million ($38,637,298 today), a misunderstanding that led to the most infamous public feud in baseball history. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Winfield

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Dave Winfield – didn't he kill a seagull in Toronto?

      And wasn't he sued by Robin Givens' mother for giving her a SDT?

      Drafted out of college by four teams in three sports – including football, which he didn't play in college?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      FW: You mean as predicted in the Domestic Terrorism Report from the Department of Homeland Security that ClusterFox thought was so terrible?

      1. freakishlywrong

        Except the Muslins are always terrorists and the crazy wingers and always l"one wolves", meaning no, Glenn Beck or Bernie Goldberg didn't tell them to do it; (they did).

    2. Chichikovovich

      Naw, the "lone wolves" are the ones that listen to Glen Beck and Rush, and do all their preparations themselves and actually succeed in killing people. The international terrorist muslim terrorist jihadi terrorists are the ones who are so clueless that they wouldn't be able to get out of their own beds if they didn't have the FBI leading them each step of the way until – long before they're in a position to do anything – they're arrested for purchasing aircraft with malice aforethought, and being a terrorist.

  17. Weenus299

    Soooo, the FBI sponsors a quiz show, called Toy or Weapon? Right? And sensational tee vee persona Ryan Seacrest presents the contestants with an object. If a contestent presumes an object to be a weapon, they are immediately swarmed by a dozen FBI agents, beaten and relocated indefinitely to Guantanamo Bay. If they consider an object a toy, they are given high-level intelligence positions within the Beltway.

  18. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Clearly the FBI had to stop this, as his plans cost 1/100000 that of the Pentagon. If that got out, surely we would have a Tea Party rebellion against all that Pentagon waste.

  19. Mahousu

    People may laugh at the idea of attacking the Pentagon with a toy plane, but, according to the manufacturer, the F-86 Sabre EDF sports "best-in-class design principles and top-of-the-line glass and balsa construction techniques."

    Let me tell you, that balsa can give you a nasty splinter if you're not careful. And that's not even considering the (3 square inches of) glass.

    1. PubOption

      Does the manufacturer say how much explosive it can carry? I suspect it won't be enough to blow a hole in a cardboard box.

  20. prommie

    I almost swooned at the mere thought of the havoc and devastation that would be caused by the impact of, what, a pound and a half, of plastique, into the hardened, blast-proof walls of the Pentagon. Oh, the humanity!

  21. prommie

    I read this quote last night, now I forget who said it: "what kind of monster would attack a military target with a remote-controlled aircraft?"

  22. ThundercatHo

    I always tell my children, "If someone offers to give you a remote controlled drone plane and enough explosives to blow up the Pentagon, just say NO!"

  23. Eve8Apples

    You would think the Pentagon would have an army of GI Joe dolls on high alert to stop the toy airplane attacks.

  24. Generation[redacted]

    In all the chaos of RC planes, matchbox car bombs, and improvised lego devices, an important memo was missed:

    "Ken and Barbie Determined to Attack U.S."

    1. Graham Cracker

      The statement said the public was never in danger from the explosive devices, which were controlled by undercover FBI employees.

      This sounds a lot like the plan to sell automatic rifles to the Messicans so they could track them back to the drug cartels. Who thinks of these things????

  25. UnholyMoses

    In related news, a man from Boston just won a free trip to Cuba …

    (Blatantly stolen from someone; just can't remember from whom it was or where I read it.)

  26. Ancient_Hacker

    oooh, oooh, let's be Physics geeks and do the math!:

    Ratio of weights of a F-86 made of balsa wood versus a 767– about 10,000

    Ratio of top speeds of aforesaids– about 40

    Formula for potential energy— 1/2 m v squared.

    Ratio of potential damage caused by banging into pentagon: about 160,000,000

    I have a hard time imagining what 1/160 millionth of the 9/11 pentagon damage would be– a light scratch in the stonework and a hangnail?

  27. owhatever

    The FBI, once again, has done marvelous work and saved us from catastrophe. All my Wonketteer friends believe the same. Any comments about the Feebs being so incompetent that they have to create their own potential disaster scenario, or questioning where the hell they were before 9/11 are just us teasing them in good humor, because we admire them so much. We love our FBI, particularly those hard-working special agent guys and gals monitoring this site.

  28. Negropolis

    Out of the dozen so-labeled "plots" after 9/11, I can count on one hand how many were operational. The rest of them are just plain, fucking entrapment. Security theater is the worst kind of theater…well, apart from a Jennifer Lopez rom-com.

  29. Negropolis

    BTW, I love how they keep emphasizing that Rezwan Ferdaus is an "American national." You know, 'cause a guy with a name like Rezwan Ferdaus couldn't have possibly been from the United States unless you told us he was.

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