WONKETTE ON THE STREETS 1:31 pm September 28, 2011

Wonkette Interviews the Peaceful Park Dweller Hippie Fiends!

The Park Dwellers: In Their Own Words! Watch this brave anonymous high school teacher (“I hope my principal doesn’t see this”) talk about what’s happening in New York that the National Media (all based in New York) refuses to cover because it’s not Teabaggy enough: “A courageous effort … it opens up a dialog that needs to happen.” Too hopeful for TeeVee! We got a lot of other good stuff on the FlipCam, including famous professor Cornel West! —

“Until now, the police and the courts seem to be conflating consent — that most American of traditions upon which our country is founded — they’re conflating dissent with terror. And they’re kind of doing it automatically.” – Reverend Billy (performance artist), the Church of Earthalujah

“What this is all about is a shift of power from oligarchs to ordinary citizens, and that’s a step-by-step process” – Cornel West

“Violence is really the only thing that will get you a ticket right out of this place” – Justin the Occupier

That’s all for now!

Wonkette’s Riley Waggaman is living amongst the Occupy Wall Street protesters in Lower Manhattan.

142 comments

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 142 comments }

littlebigdaddy September 28, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Hey Riley, gettin' any?

vulpes82 September 28, 2011 at 1:39 pm

I don't see Breitbart hanging around these guys, though.

An_Outhouse September 28, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I hear from the wingers that there's great dope all over the place down there. Don't get too stoned to make more vids.

Ken Layne September 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Girls say yes to boys who say no!

riverside68 September 28, 2011 at 4:07 pm: don't let the children know you are quoting Joan

loves me those post-pill/pre-aids daze

rocktonsam September 28, 2011 at 9:01 pm

reaL JOB OFFERS?

HempDogbane September 28, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Drone strike on High Schools?

Arken September 28, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Dr. West, I am sure that Princeton, with its excellent medical school, has a terrific dental plan. Please take advantage of said plan, sir.

Captain_Quark September 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Um, you know that Princeton lacks both a medical school and a law school, non?

Arken September 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Fuck. House lied to me again.

mumbly_joe September 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm: Everybody lies.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 1:45 pm

He meant medical coverage. Princeton, of course, lacks said facilities because Princeton, as an institution of higher learning, does not wish to be associated with trade-schools.

Arken September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I'm just saying he needs a dentist. Badly.

sezme September 28, 2011 at 1:58 pm: I think what you are just saying is that you are racist against the gap-toothed.

Gap toothed civil rights now! Down with orthodonti-fascism!
Terry September 28, 2011 at 2:09 pm: Oh, he's a piker compared to Shane MacGowan, founding member of The Pogues.
http://cdn2.mog.com/pictures/225246/Shane+MacGowa…

Terry September 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Princeton, as an institution of higher learning for the children of Princeton grads and people with lots of money,….

Fixed.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 2:17 pm: And Brook Shields. Anyway, you exagerate, they save about half the spots for children of alumni and the wealthy (same thing), and the other half go to asian kids.

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 3:56 pm

What's wrong with gap-toothed men? It's very sexay. In a Snaggletooth sort of way.

Arken September 28, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, until you have dinner with them and have to sit there staring at that big piece of spinach wedged in the gap. End the gap!

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:25 pm: I bet if that was Lauren Hutton's gap, you'd remove that spinach with your tongue.

Negropolis September 29, 2011 at 1:29 am

Well, that was an awfully bitchy and unnecessary thing to say, and I'm not even particularly fond of Dr. West. I've also seen far worse, and yes, even on well-to-do folks, and yes, mostly in the UK if I'm going to be honest.

Arken September 29, 2011 at 9:35 am: Welcome to Wonkette. First time?

Pragmatist2 September 28, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Wow! This is great!!!
Now if your Wonkette reporter gets beaten by the police, can we make snarky comments about him?

Nostrildamus September 28, 2011 at 5:54 pm: Only if there's butt secks.
mayor_quimby September 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm: I'm not sure what the protocol is, we need a ruling from the Wonkette elders.
mrpuma2u September 29, 2011 at 2:55 pm: The reporter or the billy club wielding cop???

BaldarTFlagass September 28, 2011 at 1:36 pm

I like the sobriquet "Justin the Occupier." I wish we could go back to names that described our occupations/favorite activities. I would be "Baldar the Too-Much-Drinker."

Plus, Justin the Occupier has Marie the Antoinette by his side. Can't lose!

prommie September 28, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Prommie the Gin-Swiller raises a toast to you, Baldar.

DaRooster September 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Rooster Da Whiskey Shooter doth agree!

Mapmonger September 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Mapmonger is thirsty for rye now.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 2:17 pm: If we don't get rye whiskey we surely will die.

Terry September 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

While working on my family genealogy, I came across Sviatopolk the Accursed, also known as Sviatopolk the Damned. No, thankfully, I am not a descendent of this man. We are highly distant cousins however, which may explain a few things about some of my kin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sviatopolk_I_of_Kiev

SorosBot September 28, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Today, we are all "[IntenseDebateHandle] the Wasting-Time-at-Work".

Well, except for the unemployds.

An_Outhouse September 28, 2011 at 2:27 pm

An Outhouse the shit faced.

Oblios_Cap September 28, 2011 at 2:45 pm: Surely you've all heard of my kinsman, Reave the Just.

Lascauxcaveman September 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

You may address me as Caveman the Surly Passive-Aggressive, or by my alter-ego "Throatpuncher."

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I am NOT going around being called Palinz the masturbator, thankyewveddymuch.

fuflans September 28, 2011 at 7:32 pm

fuflans the unemployed of cabernet.

Negropolis September 29, 2011 at 1:31 am

Walker Texas Wrangler.

Chillwaver September 28, 2011 at 1:36 pm

For a sec there, I thought it was Colonel West…

littlebigdaddy September 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm: It's funny, cuz Cornell is one of the few Ivies he hasn't taught at.
PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:05 pm: I thought West was just an almost-colonel.
Negropolis September 29, 2011 at 1:32 am: I always confuse him with Dr. Kanye West.

skoalrebel September 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm

That's just fuckin' gay. What's the point of a protest if you don't bring plenty of guns, ammo, and a rope for the lynching? Fuckin' hippies need to be shown how we do it in real America. Just remember: there is no freedom without hard liquor and handguns.

OneDollarJuana September 28, 2011 at 1:59 pm: (spit)
DaRooster September 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm: So… I haz freedom? Sweet!!
El Pinche September 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm: *spit* fuckin A. Don't firgit cold straight dippin Apple-Spice flavered dip…fuck my gay ass gums n teeth.

BaldarTFlagass September 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Ooohhhhh, I'm gettin' all woozy and italicky.

BLUARGH!!

Arken September 28, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Everything on Wonkette has extra emphasis today.

DaRooster September 28, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Everything on Wonkette has extra emphasis today.

bagofmice September 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm: Here we come to snuff the rooster, but he ain't gonna die!!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass September 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

I'm much better now, thanks.

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Did you just do a Brit Hume (throw up all over yourself)?

BaldarTFlagass September 29, 2011 at 7:48 am: Yeah, but it was a virtual hurl, so no harm done.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 1:43 pm

I can't tell if this reminds me more of middle earth, or Smurf-ville.

johnnyzhivago September 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Have the protesters considered renting colonial uniforms?

owhatever September 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm

It's a great day for Kortney and her cucumber.

DaRooster September 28, 2011 at 2:04 pm: At least she is above Michael Moore…
SenileAgitation September 28, 2011 at 2:58 pm: An even better day for crewcut victimized Verizon hero

DashboardBuddha September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

OT but related to the shitty times we live in:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/hallmark-laun…

Never miss an opportunity to behave like a vulture – it's the American way!

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Jesus fucking J.H. Christ and his Black brother Harry! Srsly. You could die in an explosion and within seconds, your neighbours would be scooping up the bits of your anus and intestines and hawking them on eBay to their fellow ghouls. Stop this fucking country, I want to get off.

DashboardBuddha September 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm

That shit wouldn't be hard to write either.

So sorry to hear you've lost your job
But please don't think you're an unemployed slob
I bet real soon you'll be feeling fine
When you join your neighbors in the soup kitchen line
-DBB

Maybe I should apply for a job?

PalinzADummy September 29, 2011 at 12:31 am

Oh, hey, wow, sure. I mean, I was just planning to off myself because I'll never find a job that pays a decent wage, but if you're good at this (and you seem to be), go for it!

DashboardBuddha September 29, 2011 at 7:15 am: I am here but to serve.

Negropolis September 29, 2011 at 1:33 am

I'd so love to get a condescending, faux-sypmathetic card like this when I'm down on my luck…

Fuck you, Hallmark.

PalinzADummy September 29, 2011 at 11:58 am: May I join in the "Fuck you, Hallmark"?

Because anybody who sends me one of those, just a warning here, I'm'a rip it into little pieces and ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poop chute.

johnnyzhivago September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Instead of thinking outside the box, today I'm thinking entirely in italics…

Sparky_McGruff September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Bah. Needs more misspelled racist signs. And guns.

OneYieldRegular September 28, 2011 at 1:54 pm: And tri-cornered hats.
mayor_quimby September 28, 2011 at 7:32 pm: I would looooove to see some tea party anti-protesters show up on Wall St. with their AR-15 rifles and Colt revolvers and get pummeled by the NYPD while yelling about the 2nd amendment.
Now that would be a party, and then Fucked News would have to cover it
rocktonsam September 28, 2011 at 9:03 pm: HOVERHOUNDS, ALSO

proudgrampa September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

What?

Wow, I'm Italianicized! Cool!

Dr_Zoidberg September 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

You know, if you keep acknowledging these hippies, they'll never go away. Turn the hose on them!!!

*Off-snark* Seriously, keep up the good work on reporting this. If I wasn't on the other side of the country, I'd love to join in.

OneDollarJuana September 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm: There are Occupy <your city here> protests in many places.

chascates September 28, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Now we're all leaning rightward?

SorosBot September 28, 2011 at 1:50 pm

These comments are all really slanted and out of balance.

johnnyzhivago September 28, 2011 at 1:51 pm

If these protesters really had something to say, they would be on Dancing With the Stars.

sezme September 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Stop trying to televise the revolution!

DaRooster September 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm

The "news" corporations are doing a fine job of that.

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:18 pm: No, they're "revolutionizing" television. Or making revolting television. Not sure which.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 28, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Today, we are all anonymous protesters who the media could care less about.

AlterNewt September 28, 2011 at 10:28 pm: Tomorrow too.

El Pinche September 28, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Seriously, thanks Riley for covering this.

Meanwhile Jake Tapper almost trips over himself trying to get Tea Party Debt Commission conference at an Orlando Denny's. The Denny's was almost packed to capacity…to the pastry and pie bar!

SexySmurf September 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Suck it Banksters:

Over 100 NYPD Officers Refuse to Work in Support of Occupy Wall Street Movement

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:17 pm: That's great. Perhaps they've finally realized that the banksters are NOT on their side.
zhubajie September 28, 2011 at 7:55 pm: Usually it's a bad sign for the authorities when the cops begin to switch sides….
Negropolis September 29, 2011 at 1:35 am: Yes, yes, this is what we need. You thought indiscriminately brutalizing protestors was going to work, and look what it got you.

x111e7thst September 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Would you look at these losers with their logic and their appeals to reason. This needs (many) more surveyors marks and second amendment remedies if it is ever to be taken seriously.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm

What nice bunch of people. Better mace and tazer them just to be safe.

mayor_quimby September 28, 2011 at 7:34 pm: It is only prudent to do so.
That's Policing 101

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 28, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Don't forget dirty hippies, corporations are people too!

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm: Or so President Romney wants us to believe.

Allmighty_Manos September 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

"Watch this brave anonymous high school teacher (“I hope my principal doesn’t see this”) talk about what’s happening in New York ".

Better watch out because Chris Christie might cross the Hudson River and eat him,

prommie September 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm: Christie is away touring the country on his "I'm not running for president" campaign. Palin is sooooooo jealous.

Oblios_Cap September 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm

If you spread wealth to the poor, they will all just blow it at the track.

However; if you spread it to me, I'll use it all for hookers and blow and stimulate my economy, if you know what I mean.

El Pinche September 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm: YOU JUST SPELLED AMERRICA, MAN. GOD BLESS
BlueStateLibel September 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm: I'm one of those who'll just blow it at the track. But those horses need to eat, too, don't they?
PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:20 pm: I've heard all about your "economic stimulus package," Oblios_Cap.

DahBoner September 28, 2011 at 2:08 pm

"OT: Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg pledged to eat only the animals that he kills himself for a whole year…Did the Facebook mogul actually hunt and kill a bison? Apparently yes. In the past he used a knife to kill animals like a goat, a chicken, and a pig….

Hippies only eat what they kill, back to the land, man….

prommie September 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Psychopath

bagofmice September 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm: Halal, kosher, They only really argue over the seafood. Obviously the creator is all about a knife to the neck. Looking at you Isaac.

GunToting[Redacted] September 28, 2011 at 2:56 pm

In related news, Zuckerberg also said that he would only fuck hookers that he killed himself.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm

How could someone so obviously socially retarded have invented a "social" network? Ah, but its a retarded social network, I see . . . .

HistoriCat September 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Obviously he did it to meet girls.

PalinzADummy September 28, 2011 at 4:22 pm: Didn't help much, did it?

El Pinche September 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Does anyone even care about the traders and hedge-fund managers who can't get to the plush offices on time?? It's as if these hippies don't care about a billionaire's golf schedule ? I'd suckle and nurture each and everyone of these JOB PRODUCERS if I could! Boot straps , constitution, and less taxes!

genxr September 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm: These hippies don't understand how difficult it is feed your family on $600 million a year.

Goonemeritus September 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

All snark aside the idealism and sacrifice of these people makes me ashamed of my lack of direct action. Snark is a very small sabot in the machine of tyrannies gears.

OneDollarJuana September 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I think OWS might be touching a nerve: "Occupy Wall Street: An Utterly Pointless, Meaningless, Futile Exercise" from the International Business Times.

SorosBot September 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm: I read the whole thing; what a condescending, arrogant douchebag. So people who aren't experts in economics are apparently not allowed to have opinions on economic policy; and the "Celebrity X is rich, therefore it's somehow wrong for them to sympathize for the working class" meme is one of most moronic memes the right-wing loves to repeat, over and over again.

prommie September 28, 2011 at 2:31 pm

OT, but can I plug my new band, Sideways Chainsaw Assfuck?

Sharkey September 28, 2011 at 2:35 pm: You have your Permit to Exercise First Amendment Protection?
Carry on then.
SenileAgitation September 28, 2011 at 3:03 pm: Please remember to plug the rocking cassingle "Can't Choke the Devil"
Nostrildamus September 28, 2011 at 6:01 pm: Doesn't exactly distinguish you for all the other American bands out there, does it?
AlterNewt September 28, 2011 at 10:38 pm: SCA!! SCA!! SCA!!!

Callyson September 28, 2011 at 2:34 pm

NPR finally covered this last night, and of course they spent as much time talking about sanitation issues (they thought it was a big deal that the protesters are not spitting out toothpaste just anywhere after they brush their teeth) as they did talking about the reasons behind the protest.
Next time they have a pledge drive, I'll tell them to hit Wall Street up for some bucks…

DerrickWildcat September 28, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Rich people aren't called, "rich people" anymore. That guy that combs his hair with a Ham sandwich, oh what's his name, Luntz something, now calls them "Job Creators."
Calling them, "rich people" is CLASS WARFARE!
It's just that, "Job Creators" need a little more respect (and Tax Breaks) than actual…uhhh…ahhh…"Job Doers"…which is not class warfare.
Or something.

Signed,
Derrick Wildcat
5th grade
PS 128

Schmannnity September 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

This may be the feel good post of the day, but it sure seems like a good time in the news cycle for a Congressional sex scandal. Come on, Republicans, it's nearly Cocktober!

Crank_Tango September 28, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Come on Riley, no cute kitten videos? Not even NYPD tases cute kitten for protesting?

BZ1 September 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Isn't Cornel West one of those people that could carry himself into a room on his own shoulders?

ttommyunger September 28, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Well, they're starting to attract assorted jaggoffs and gadflies, now if they would just set fire to something or kill someone maybe they could get a teevee crew down there.

DemonicRage September 28, 2011 at 8:48 pm

High school being the kind of institution that it is, if the Principal disagrees with "brave teacher" politically, the next time that brave teacher is scheduled for an impartial observation of his teaching skills, the Principal will come to his room, sit in the back of the room, take notes, and two days later, in his mailbox, brave teacher will receive a file letter saying that he made 1000 errors in teaching. At the end of the year, brave teacher will receive an Unsatisfactory Rating. Because that is the way things are.

rocktonsam September 28, 2011 at 9:13 pm