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Michele Bachmann is your new JFK.Cuba is Iran’s southernmost province in Palestine and all the terrorists are camping out on Fidel Castro’s front lawn, according to fading pill nut Michele Bachmann, who is here to warn us all that we’d better not re-open trade with Cuba or, GAH, Palestine’s “Hez-BLAH” terrorists will get their U.N. license to bomb Florida, by setting up missile bases in Cuba, hey the Cold War is back! and we will all be doomed: “Castro has been in charge of Cuba since the revolution in 1959. Why would we reward a communist brutal dictator who continually represses his people? Why would he reward him? That’s why we don’t want to see Palestine become a state until and unless they renounce terrorism against Israel.” Yes, “that’s why!” Follow-up: does any of this still hold true if Fidel Castro is no longer in charge of Cuba? (‘Cause he isn’t.) Video after the jump.

Sorry, there is too much crazy in her statements here to make sense of it. What were we saying? Oh yes, Michele Bachmann believes that Iranian-backed Hezbollah terrorists are setting up missile bases in Havana with her usual standard of zero evidence, which means that Iran is trying to kill America again, IRAN ARGH ALWAYS IRAN. “There is reports that have come out that Cuba has been working with another terrorist organization called Hezbollah. And Hezbollah is looking at wanting to be part of missile sites in Iran and, of course, when you are 90 miles offshore from Florida, you don’t want to entertain the prospect of hosting bases or sites where Hezbollah could have training camps,” she says. Did everyone know that Iran is 90 miles offshore from Florida?

“Why would you normalize relations with a country that sponsors terror,” she also asks, even though Cuba is not on the U.S. State Department list of state sponsors of terror because of IRAN or Hez-BLAH, but because of its history of support for the Colombian FARC guerrillas, but uh, whatever. NEVER FORGET. [Crooks and Liars]

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