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Pictured: Daniel Gordon speaking with reporters.Rhode Island GOP lawmaker Daniel Gordon Jr. was last heard from a week ago when the Rhode Island State Police discovered that he is a wanted fugitive in the state of Massachusetts who also turns out to be a prickly violent criminal with a two decade-long rap sheet more extensive than, eh, let’s say “the complete works of Shakespeare,” give or take a few hundred words. This tragic idiot also turns out to be a third-tier con artist whose foolproof response to journalists asking about his criminal misadventures was an epic fiction blaming PTSD he says he sustained while serving in Iraq during the first Gulf War, ’cause the Mooslims blew up his leg. He would love to show you the proof, but also very tragically, uh, a massive house fire sadly destroyed all the evidence! The Department of Defense has no record of any of this either, because they hate freedom.

Here is the hilarious tale of Gordon lying over and over, badly, to an AP reporter:

On Friday, Gordon insisted that his service record is incomplete. He said he couldn’t provide evidence of his time in Iraq because many of his photos and keepsakes from his service were destroyed in a house fire when he was living in Fall River, Mass., in 2005.

“I’m disappointed that the DOD didn’t provide you with a full and accurate record,” he told the AP on Friday. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Records obtained from the Marine Corps show Gordon joined the Marines on June 4, 1987, and served at bases in South Carolina, Tennessee, Washington and California, and spent six months with an aviation unit at a Marine Corps air station in Japan.

The records show no deployments to the Middle East. Maj. Shawn Haney, a public affairs officer with the Marines, said Gordon’s file would indicate any time spent in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain or Iraq during the Gulf War.

Gordon told reporters this week that his right leg was struck by shrapnel “eight miles south of Baghdad” in February 1991. He said his unit was based in Bahrain.

“I can assure you, I was there,” he said Wednesday.

Gordon’s record lists two awards, one for his time stationed in Japan. The other, the National Defense Service Medal, was given to all personnel on active duty at the time of the Gulf War, regardless of where they served.

Gordon said he received the Southwest Asia Service Medal, an award given to members of the armed services deployed to the Middle East for the Gulf War. The award is not listed in his file. Asked if he would present the medal publicly, Gordon said it wouldn’t do any good because they are easily found at pawn shops.

GAH! The socialist pawn shop cabal strikes again. [AP]

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  • chascates

    The party of family values.

    • Major Thom

      The Manson family.

    • Sue4466

      The party of "support our troops."

      Because nothing supports the troops more than lying about serving in combat and having PTSD in an obvious attempt to escape responsibility for your criminal acts.

      Party of personal responsibility. Also. Too.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, Manson family values.

  • Terry

    "Gordon told reporters this week that his right leg was struck by shrapnel “eight miles south of Baghdad” in February 1991. He said his unit was based in Bahrain.

    “I can assure you, I was there,” he said Wednesday."

    In his defense, it'd be easy to mix up Bagdad and Tokyo if they weren't polar opposites in pretty much any way you can imagine.

  • Easily found in prawn shops?

    What kind of metal is this???
    ~

    • Geminisunmars

      Something's fishy here.

    • LiveToServeYa

      He meant 'porn shops', obviously.

    • kissawookiee

      Bronze-ino?

    • GhostBuggy

      The #27.

      • Negropolis

        The #69, methinks.

    • PalinzADummy

      Chitinous? Exoskeletal?

  • hagajim

    “I’m disappointed that the DOD didn’t provide you with a full and accurate record,” he told the AP on Friday. “I don’t know what else to tell you.how much longer I can make shit up" – there, fixed.

  • Major Thom

    He should be awarded the Purple Cock for mendacity and prevarication under fire.

  • Not_So_Much

    In his defense, if it was fake service, there's no way for the rest of us to know just how bad it was. The horror….the horror….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Also, I was known in the Sudan as Chinese Gordon, in a previous lifetime."

    • GorzoTheMighty

      and Khartoom was never the same.

    • PalinzADummy

      Ha! Hardly anyone remembers that fellow anymore.

      Your knowledge is truly encyclopedic.

      • Chichikovovich

        Yep, he's got a great head for knowledge.

        Haahahahahaha! Get it? General Gordon? head? heh. heh.

        Is this thing on?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        If they gave out a nickel for each trivial bit of useless information stuck in a person's head, I'd have a Lear Jet and a mountaintop villa in Martinique.

        • PalinzADummy

          I have the same problem, I just have a different subset of Information That Nobody Needs Or Cares About. Like the composition of gripe water in the '50s. Nobody even remembers what gripe water is/was.

          Eh, in an alternate universe, we both have Lear jets and mountaintop villas in Martinique or Madagascar.

  • Gordon said he doesn't know why he didn't receive a Purple Heart for his injury, but he said he never requested the award out of a sense of humility.

    LOL! Pull the other one!
    ~

    • HateMachine

      I have heard tell that the other one has got bells on it.

  • baconzgood

    "public affairs officer with the Marines" You know that the Mariens hate the GOP.

    • Guppy06

      Because if there's one group of human beings that knows how to deal with the public, it's the Marine Corps.

      • BarryOPotter

        Because if there's one group of human beings that knows how to deal with the public, it's the Marine Corps

        Be polite and professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet. Hey, ya just never know…

  • Zombie_Reagan

    I'll take pathological for $200, Alex.

  • freakishlywrong

    "That man for President!" (He's at least as awful as what's currently running for his cabal).

  • SorosBot

    Maybe he was lying about his claim that he won a medal for his heroism at the Battle of Yavin during the Star Wars too.

    • HateMachine

      How dare you question his valiant service as Jek Porkins' astromech unit!

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Many (fake) Bothans died bringing us this information.

  • x111e7thst

    Wake me when we get to the rentboys and meth.

  • You know who else is a pathological liar and warmonger, but never actually served this country?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      With few exceptions, just about the entire administration of President George W. Bush?

    • Senator Joseph Isadore "Joe" Lieberman (I – Chickenhawk)?
      ~

    • Obama?

      • Limeylizzie

        Oh ChetKincaid, have you gone over to the darkside?

        • Of course not! s/b OBAMA!!!111!!!!1!1!1

          • Limeylizzie

            Thank goodness for that.

    • Limeylizzie

      Rummy " I do it standing up" Rumsfeld?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Actually, Rummy was a US Navy pilot, and didn't crash all his planes. Still a major league asshole, though.

    • SorosBot

      William Randolph Hearst & Joseph Pulitzer?

    • An_Outhouse

      Madeleine Albright?

    • "Tricky Dick" Blumenthal?

    • OneDollarJuana

      That would be Richard B. Cheney, with five, (5), count 'em FIVE deferments!

      Oh and Rush, too.

      • PalinzADummy

        Also Gee, Dumb? Yeah, Bush!, Saxby Chambliss (who actually beat out war veteran Max Cleland by painting him as a traitor), and the rest of Bush's "war cabinet."

        Even Hitler served.

    • Ahmed Chalabi?

      Curveball?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Still trying to figure out which country that asshole did the most damage; ours, or his own.

        • Negropolis

          Unfortunately, all of them,Katie. :(

    • DaRooster

      The GOP?

    • Not_So_Much

      Ayn Rand?

    • Terry

      But did the Rhode Island politician actually build a subterranean lair the way Cheney did?

    • HistoriCat

      Nobody wanted else wanted to throw El Rushbo the Anal Cyst out there? For shame.

    • PhilippePetain

      Baron Munchhausen?

  • prommie

    I will not be distracted from the fact that Goldman Sachs has taken over our government and is looting the treasury, now, as we speak, and has been ever since Obama was sworn in.

    • proudgrampa

      Hear, hear!!1!!

  • OkieDokieDog

    I think he just may be the perfect candidate that the GOP is looking for.

  • MissusBarry

    Nobody'd ever check your story, silly…just keep talking. The stupid is strong in this one.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Not in the records? No Purple Heart? Uh, how about showing us the, uh, you know, scar?

    • PuckStopsHere

      It wouldn't do no good. You can buy those at any pawn shop. Everybody knows that.

      • DaRooster

        Mine came from Amazon… and there was sweat all over it.

    • HateMachine

      Anyone with a scalpel, willpower, and free time can do that himself. Showing us wouldn't prove anything, so he won't bother hiking his pants leg and demonstrating that he's too much of a pussy to give himself a convincing faux war wound.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Anyone who can clumsily fall off their porch onto an unfortunately placed garden implement can do that to himself.

        Trust me on this one.

        • HateMachine

          Man, there is just no such thing as a fortunately placed gardening implement, is there?

    • proudgrampa

      'There's a lot of Purple Hearts in the Purple Heart Store.' — Tom Russell

    • Papa_Uniform

      The scar? Would that be the leg wound one or the lobotomy one?

    • PalinzADummy

      It's in the taint. No volunteers to certify.

  • babyeinstein

    Run Colton run!

  • Major Thom

    At least this guy FOUGHT in a fake war. Dick Cheeeney started one.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Last time I checked, Iraq and Afghanistan are real wars, with real death and really real destruction.

      • Major Thom

        Duly noted. Perhaps I should have said I was only referring to the Iraq war and that it was started on fake 'evidence'.

    • Negropolis

      This was the first Gulf War we're talking about, you know, the one when Saddam actually sent in troops to murder Kuwait.

  • Just shows you can't trust gubbiment. Why anyone could get a medal or be shipped off to Japan as a member of the Marines!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And I thought all the best bullshit artists were here in the second-largest state, not up there in the smallest.

  • So the guy's a magnet for flying debris. That wayward satellite held so much promise if only it had been aligned w/ a higher purpose of selective destruction. Now I'm back to wishing for just good old-fashioned lightning bolts.

  • HempDogbane

    Anyone can make shit up, but without ovaries and a shrieky voice there's no chance of getting to the White House.

  • GregComlish

    The GOP are such easy marks for sociopaths like this. All you have to do is keep saying "Jesus Reagan Tax-cuts" and apparently everyone gets too hypnotized to check your extensive criminal record.

  • OneDollarJuana

    It's super easy to confirm an injury to his leg. How 'bout some beefcake, Mr. Gordon?

    • DaRooster

      Twit pix or GTFO!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Danny and the other prominent phantom injury Vet Joe Miller (R-Anyone but Romney) can share fake war wound stories around a campfire (or a Tea Party cruise ship lounge.)

    My Conflict Resolution professor at college didn't have to show us papers, he just knocked on his titanium leg to prove he served in Vietnam.

    • Limeylizzie

      Excellent. My father , WW2 veteran, used to wear his uniform every Sunday morning at breakfast, just for the sheer hell of it.

      • I don't blame him. You never know when The Hun will decide third time's the charm!

        • Limeylizzie

          He was a crazy man, now gone, he always wore army boots with a suit, claimed they were comfortable, had strange theories about women, they could be other “button faces” which are cute when young or “horse faces” not as cute as children but age better. Also a really pleasant racist, challenged , at the age of 75, the only black member of his badminton club to a game, the younger man was 30 years old!

          • HateMachine

            "Shit at badminton" is probably one of the milder racial stereotypes I could think of, yes.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I just love the fact he was still playing badminton at 75. And that there is a place where black people are in badminton clubs.

          • Limeylizzie

            It was more like a local council club, not country clubbish. We are the working-classes, darling.

    • Terry

      Was this right before you shipped out from Buenes Aires to fight bugs on other planets?

  • TheGyrus

    Gordon told reporters this week that his right leg was struck by shrapnel “eight miles south of Baghdad” in February 1991.

    Oddly, the closest the rest of the ground forces involved in Desert Storm got to Baghdad was about 150 miles. I guess this guy must have been some kind of super-secret mission.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And the Marines were pretty much restricted to fighting in Kuwait.

    • SorosBot

      Well maybe he was on a super top secret special mission that you've never heard of, because it was secret, which is why there are no records of it, and it totally won the war for America.

      • DustBowlBlues

        the records are stored in Area 51, and you know what that means.

        • zhubajie

          That he was Martian Marines?

    • Terry

      Making up s$#t is a lot harder in the age of Google.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Not really, but making it stick is.

  • SexySmurf

    His leg injury may be fake but his traumatic brain injury is very, very real.

    • Terry

      He was dropped on his head as an infant when his mother was trying to hold him while measuring out some Crisco.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    "yeahhh… I was in Iraq, got my leg blown up. Got me some of that Post-Traumatical-Distress-whatever. That's what's made me do those things. Yeah, that's the ticket…"

    [/Jon Lovitz]

  • Lucidamente1

    Where are the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth when you need them?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Buffet, their financier (I'm quoting Nina Totenberg here, the arbiter of all things truthful.), is too busy selling natural gas to write them a check this time. He'll get around to it before Hopey runs, I'm sure.

      • horsedreamer_1

        You mean T. Boone Pickens?

    • Terry

      Making up crap about people who actually did serve as they say they did.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "He has photos of his unit available"

    Will he be posting them to Twitter anytime soon, I wonder?

    • Limeylizzie

      I fucking hope not.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Posting pics of one's "unit" on the Interwebz is generally frowned upon, no?

      • HistoriCat

        Depends on how impressive your unit is.

        • Negropolis

          Didn't ever see the pictures, but I hear that it didn't seem to help Anthony Wiener.

  • Wasn't Daniel Gordon Jr. a NASCAR driver?

  • DaRooster

    Well, war is hell… and could be confused with Tennessee I suppose…

  • El Pinche

    It's OK, he's GOP. In fact, someone should give him a nice comfy job with FoxNews.

  • DarwinianDemon

    …so when he says "shrapnel from baghdad" he meant "twisted ankle from bitchin moves on DDR".

  • Bots Meat Commission

    In his defense, who HASN'T wanted to light everything in Fall River on fire?

  • samsuncle

    Gordon claimed he was also wounded in action in Iran. When asked by reporters to show his wounds he pulled down his pants to expose the entrance wound in the middle of his stomach just above the belt line. He then tuned his back to the reporters bent over and pulled his cheeks apart to show them the exit wound.

    • An_Outhouse

      Plus that big crack that appeared surrounding the exit wound.

  • AJWjr.

    I'm sure a comprehensive internet search of his myspace and fakebook pages will reveal far more information on this matter than his DD-214.

  • Same GOP character, different lies.

  • ApplesauceRobot

    This guy's time in the Marines closely parallels mine: mostly stateside with a stint in Japan; no combat action. But I never lied about my time. I mean, it's just too easy for an enterprising journalist to look that shi…

    What's that you say? There are no more enterprising journalists left in the world?

    Well in that case, back during 'Storm I was leading my platoon… scratch that. I was leading my battalion in a raid just south of Baghdad…

    • AJWjr.

      And we thank you for your patriotic service!

    • Brigadier Applesauce I presume.

    • Applesauce for president!

    • HateMachine

      Fuck that! As long as people aren't bothering to fact-check, you were at Iwo Jima AND Normandy.

      • Terry

        Bull Run and Antetam, too.

    • Bots Meat Commission

      Oooh. Tell us all about Khe Sanh in your best grizzled, disillusioned Vietnam vet speaking voice.

    • chicken_thief

      You need to be careful. A vague lie will stand up better than a detailed one. You get too specific and I'll know in a heart beat whether you are telling the truth or not. After all, I was there, guiding Schwarzkopf all the way.

  • He wasn't, by any chance, eating a baby during the course of that interview was he?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Gordon is one of three Rhode Island lawmakers who have been arrested this year."

    They shouldn't have set The Sopranos in New Jersey.

    • Terry

      If you try to film a series solely in Rhode Island, you run out of new locations halfway into the second season.

    • Bots Meat Commission

      There actually was an episode when Tony visited the crime family in Providence and they were portrayed as slightly agoraphobic elderly weirdos.

      Which, having lived there, makes sense.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Silly Gordon: just say that your record at the DOD was destroyed when Al-Qaeda attacked the Pentagon on 9/11.

  • DaSandman

    Just the sort of sociopathic dumb ass I want running the country. Is Rick "Popsicle" Perry his older brother?

  • In Repubican circles, this guy is more respected than a gay soldier who is actually in Iraq.

    • chicken_thief

      I'd like those assholes that boo'd to do so to the soldier's face – did you see the arms on that cocksucker?!!!

  • A better cover story would be that he was injured in the Boer Wars – I mean who is going to check – or even know what they are???

    • Weenus299

      I stubbed my toe during the Pelopo… Pelleponn…. Pelloponesian …. Peloponnesian war

  • prommie

    If he had any talent for lying, he would claim he was covert, and thats why there are no records, and then he would put an end to all further questions by telling the reporters "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

    • chicken_thief

      That works. Whenever asked just say: "special ops". If any questions or comments follow just smile a little.

  • Shrapnel or sliver from a park bench? It is easy to confuse the two.

    • prommie

      The clap can be hard to distinguish from either, I hear.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This dude has obviously been stealin' when he should have been buyin'.

    • Is that a Uriah Heep quote?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Yes, and for no obvious reason other than I've had the earworm all morning and writing it down sometimes exorcises is. And at least it's semi-appropriate, not like those mornings when I get "Muskrat Love."

        • proudgrampa

          You know how you get a song in your head and can't stop? I've got Captain and Tenille's "Love Will Keep Us Together" playing this morning…

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Some weird shit going on here. What is it, their wedding anniversary or something?

          • PalinzADummy

            TOO MUCH HAIR.

            Also pink.

      • mereoblivion

        Mister Micawber, I think.

    • Geminisunmars

      Nah, it's a quote from Nancy Sinatra "These boots are made for walking".

  • mereoblivion

    Even if the dude's rapsheet is longer than the complete works of Shakespeare, we can sum up the whole thing in two lines:

    "No beast so fierce but knows some touch of pity."
    "But I know none, and therefore am no beast."

  • bflrtsplk

    Hey, give the guy a break. Enough Saki could – COULD – make Tokyo look like "suburban Baghdad."

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Having been both places, I can say that a bottle of scotch is as ludicrously expensive in either.

    • Mahousu

      What? I've read a number of H.H. Munro's stories, and they have never had this effect on me.

    • PalinzADummy

      Sake. Saki was the pen name of Hugh Hector Munro, whose uncle got et by a tiger and immortalized by the French for Tipu Sultan, the Tiger of Mysore.

      Sake, OTOH, could probably dissolve tigers, in sufficient quantity.

      • bflrtsplk

        You say Sake I say Saki… Let's all go get drunk. Is heavy drinking acceptable on a Monday.

        • PalinzADummy

          Fuck, it's acceptable to me! Chilled Kokuryu Junmai Ginjo?

  • ttommyunger

    "…Gordon said it wouldn’t do any good because they are easily found at pawn shops." As are phony cocksuckers like him buying up said Medals. What an asshole!

    • PalinzADummy

      He could find hisself facing additional charges under the Stolen Valor Act.

      It's a scandal and a shame that chickenhawks like this should claim what cost so many able-bodied troops their lives, limbs, and health to win.

  • AJWjr.

    I'd sooner listen to Mike the Headless Chicken.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, for that matter.

  • Slim_Pickins

    I thought accepting personal responsibility for one's actions was a republican core value. He should have used Rep. Joe Walsh as a role model.

  • NewtsUndies

    Well, his being in the military would be consistent with his being a violent criminal. Oh, did I say that aloud?

  • Mahousu

    It's true he picked up a wound in his leg, but it was eight miles south of Bagdad [sic], Kentucky, and not Baghdad, Iraq. Very easy to confuse the two.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or maybe Bagdad-sic, California. Very desert-y, and the Marines have a base nearby…

      • Mahousu

        If only someone had convinced Bush to invade Bagdad (either of them) rather than Baghdad. It would have done at least as much good for the "war on terror," and would have been a lot less costly.

  • bagofmice

    Any man named Gordon knows the value of a good crow-bar.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Oh, I like him! Let's nominate him for the GOP presidential campaign! Can you imagine what a debate with this nutjob would be like?

    • HateMachine

      Indistinguishable from the other GOP debates? I'd say 'even more shameless' but I'm not sure that's possible.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Oh, but the insanity levels would be through the roof!

    • Geminisunmars

      Ya, that would add an element of lying sleaze-bag to the proceedings. Oh, wait…

  • Weenus299

    I'll bet he busted a knuckle while punching his wife.

    • Terry

      …when she walked in on him with an underaged male hooker.

  • Weenus299

    "This week, Gordon showed The Associated Press paperwork from the Department of Veterans Affairs showing he was eligible for a disability payment of $123 a month for his injury. The paperwork showed that Gordon was honorably discharged in 1991."

    This is exactly the same amount of money I'm paid for my disability. I'm 10 percent disabled because of a wacky arthritic left knee that was the result of a service-connected disability.

    I got it storming Normandy, which is eight miles south of Berlin.

    • proudgrampa

      Thank you for your service.

      I would have thought 8 miles south of Berlin would have been a lot safer than Normandy!

    • grex1949

      He tripped over a wrench trying to hide from the Gunny and hurt his knee. This guy needs a blanket party, know what I'm sayin'?

  • He has had a tough life–getting his wooden leg burned up in a house fire and all that.

    • genxr

      Corporal Clegg, is that you?

  • DaRooster

    “I’m disappointed that the DOD didn’t provide you with a full and accurate record,” he told the AP on Friday. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

    "Now officer, arrest the guy that asked that question."

  • smitallica

    Hey, don't feel bad, Daniel. The DOD can't seem to find W's Air National Guard service records either, and he was President (sort of).

  • James Michael Curley

    Fork him! He's done.

  • proudgrampa

    Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive!

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Needs moar practice.

      • PalinzADummy

        Dammit! If I'd been 25 minutes earlier!

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Utter Bullshit and rap sheets are the fuel which keeps the fires of Rhode Island politics burning.

    • Beowoof

      Judging by the criminal history of Rhode Island politicians this guy is a natural for elective office. Maybe Buddy Cianci and his crew should have chat with this guy.

  • genxr

    Reporter: "Do you have a military ID?"
    Gordon: "ID? Charlie didn't ask for ID when I fought at La Choy and Chung King. I saw my best friend's head explode at Margaret Cho."

    • Beowoof

      Not to mention the battles of Long Wang and Suc Muc Dic.

  • grex1949

    Actually, he suffered a serious wound to his unit in the Boxer Rebellion.

  • PubOption

    Does Rhode Island count as a red state?

  • SenileAgitation

    Needs more Whitey Bulger

    • PalinzADummy

      Needs more Bulge and less Whitey, I'm thinkin'.

  • owhatever

    Although on the run from the law, he can remain in good standing as a Republican as long as he is not the geh.

  • notgross

    Tell you what. Give us the names of 5 Marines you served with there. Last names are fine, but no Jones or Miller or Johnson allowed. Can't do that? How about the name of your CO or your 1st Sergeant? What was the name of your frigging unit when you deployed?

    Anything?

    • grex1949

      In the opinion of this former marine, there are few more despicable than shitbirds like this, who capitalize on sacrifices others have made. I'll bet his "war heroism" was the centerpiece of his election campaign.

      • PalinzADummy

        None of the Republicans want to serve, yet ALL of them want to claim the glory.

        • notgross

          Well, he did serve, but it looks like he didn't raise his hand to go play in the sandbox.

          • PalinzADummy

            I was speaking generally, which is always good for a few punctures to the old self-esteem. But, see, he could have said "I served," and left it at that. That was honourable of him, to serve his country. Why ruin that by lying about it? They all want more glory than they're entitled to, the miserable schlumps.

  • JimNauseam

    You should see the blaster wound he got at the battle of Hoth.

  • Guppy06

    Through the choice of photograph, is Wonkett trying to suggest that this guy is a total cock?

    • PalinzADummy

      Probly more like a chicken. Bok!

  • Antispandex

    Found in porn shops? What kind of twisted son of a…Oh, PAWN shops. Well, that's different, and totally says nothing about how the patriotic Teapublicans have ensured the welfare of our veterans.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Gordon told reporters this week that his right leg was struck by shrapnel 'eight miles south of Baghdad' in February 1991."

    That's one damn long leg.

    "I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune." – Nick Charles

    "I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids." – Nora Charles

    "It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids. " – Nick Charles

    – The Thin Man

    • PalinzADummy

      I love the Thin Man dialogue. And Powell and Loy did it so well, too.

      • Tundra Grifter

        PAD:

        I also recommend reading Hammett's "Maltese Falcon." Wonderful language in so many of his books and stories (including, of course, "The Continental Op").

        • PalinzADummy

          I was fortunate to grow up in a house full of books, most of which I was permitted to read without supervision (which resulted in some ghastly adventures, like reading Shirer's "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" at age nine, and "Lady Chatterly's Lover" at age 12). By some stroke of luck, my parents had a ton of murder mysteries, and Hammett was one of the prominently-featured authors. I miss the witty, snappy, sparkling repartee that characterized much of the work of that period.

  • He's also seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

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