GRIFTERS IN THE NEWS  3:06 pm September 23, 2011

Bristol Palin Gets Into Bar Fight With Angry Homosexual (VIDEO)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Bristol Palin was in LA filming her new reality teevee show (seventy-two hours of Bristol flopping around on a mechanical bull like a wasted badger) when some off-camera dude started screaming epithets about Sarah Palin. Are the cameras still rolling? Yes, GO: Bristol marches right over to the screamer and demands to know if he is “a homosexual,” since that is how you insult someone Alaska-style. This guy, he is a homosexual as it turns out, and, we are going to randomly guess, a convenient plant from a wicked teevee producer. Or he’s drunk, it doesn’t matter. Angry homos, they make good teevee! We are getting a headache trying to make out the ensuing stream of profanity and hand-waving, but, uh, it is not polite. Screamy details after the jump!

From some intern at CBS LA who was forced to try to transcribe this nonsense:

“Did you ride Levi like that? Your mother is a whore! Your mother is a f***ing devil!” he shouts.

Palin approaches the man and asks, “Is it because you’re a homosexual and that’s why you hate her?”

“Pretty much … and why’d you say I’m a homosexual?” he responds.

“Because I can tell you are,” Bristol says.

“You’re f***ing white trash from Wasila!” he screams as she leaves with her production crew. “F*** you, you f***ing b***h!”

At one point, the man also tells Palin that he doesn’t believe in hell, but that if it exists, he believes her mother will go there.

And that is all the “political news” we can handle for the next Mayan calendar year, wake us up after the apocalypse. [YouTube/CBS LA]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 422 comments }

freakishlywrong September 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Mechanical Bull!!?? The fuck?

justkillmenow September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Better yet, why are that many gay men in a bar with a mechanical bull?

Texan_Bulldog September 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm

It was good enough for John Travolta…you connect the dots.

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

From the article:

"Bristol Palin faced off with an angry bargoer at Saddle Ranch bar and restaurant in West Hollywood Thursday night."

(Never set foot in California, and even I know that).

justkillmenow September 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

HA! Thank you. I had no idea.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

So she walks into a West Hollywood bar and asks, "Are you a homosexual?"

The daftness. It hurts.

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Actually, while it is technically "West" Hollywood, Saddle Ranch is up on Sunset above (and not part of) the boystown. It is definably a straight Hollywood vibe- it is kinda by the Viper Room, for example. So it is a bit odd that a drunk homo would be there, particularly at night, since Saddle Ranch is famous for turning into Frat Dick/Wannabe Actor central after dark.

Nice brunch though. Huge mimosa towers.

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm

the sybian was in the shop.

ChurchofRealism September 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Oil change.

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

new dip stick and reset the o-o-o-ohhh-dometer.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm

It's for Bristle. It's the odormeter.

horsedreamer_1 September 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Trust me. Only a coupla more years before Bristle will have to take her grifting to Howard Stern.

krazyvladimir June 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I was thinking more of "Reality Kings"

Lascauxcaveman September 23, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I hadn't thought of this before, but a mechanical bull is a darn good metaphor for reality-teevee in general.

orygoon September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

My thought, also. I guess those of us who figured out that it's more cost-effective to just drink at home have somehow missed out on the finer entertainment offerings and opportunities of gettin' out more.

OC_Surf_Serf September 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm

But shouldn't it be the bull riding the cow?

orygoon September 24, 2011 at 2:02 am

Hey, look! Somebody seems to be more qualified to have a degree in animal science from Texas A&M than a certain governor and "frontrunner" candidate for the Presidency.

Gig 'em!

lulzmonger September 23, 2011 at 10:56 pm

SHE GO UP, SHE GO DOWN - U CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:52 pm

String beans to Utah.

DashboardBuddha September 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Honey Badger doesn't give a shit…

wasted badger doesn't understand shit

bordo2 September 23, 2011 at 3:09 pm

You can take the trashy snowbilly out of Wasilla but you can't take the Wasilla out of a trashy snowbilly.

mumbly_joe September 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Or to put it another way, you can take the trashy snowbilly out of Wasilla, but why would you?

littlebigdaddy September 23, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Kristen, can I have that 4 minutes of my life back?

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Since it is Friday and we are supposed to be depressing…

If 10 million people watch that clip, it will be roughly the equivalent of (1) human life of time spent watching a fame whore's spawn ride a bull and get yelled at by an angry gay dude.

JohnyEdge September 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I quit watching after 2:30.

Win!!!!!!

Barb September 23, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I'm surprised that the mechanical bull could hold Mama's Chubby Cub.
Was she really spewing that hate while wearing a Jesus shirt, complete with a cross?

Not_So_Much September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Yeah, hypocrisy and irony are not concepts with which they are familiar.

Barb September 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Nor the concept of contraception.

tessiee September 25, 2011 at 12:30 am

HAW!!
Bad kitty, Barb!

Trannysurprise September 23, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Because that's what Republican Jesus Would Do.

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm

She's 20 years old, and publicly going into a bar, with the encouragement of the TV producers. Isn't that just a bit illegal?

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

She only need to get a bottle for Trik (or whatever her spawn is named).

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Captain Trips?

Guppy06 September 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

She can see the Yukon Territory from her house!

Nostrildamus September 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

They were just thinking outside the box, and by box I mean …

BS4Dummies September 23, 2011 at 4:43 pm

There's evidence of thinking going on inside the box?

DashboardBuddha September 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm

When it comes to the bull, you can bend the rules

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

She's just being a little maverick off the old block, isn't she?

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Next, she'll fuck a basketball star, then cry "why did I let myself fuck a black guy?".

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

She's already fucking a black guy. Does it have to be a basketball star?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

More like a little buffalo-chip off the old blockhead.

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:07 pm

"AMATEUR!!1!" – Jenna Bush

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I keep forgetting the drinking age isn't 18 anymore. Fuck, I'm getting old.

Flat_Earther September 23, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Mother of the year!

Fukui_sanYesOta September 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Winner: The Mechanical Bull

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Next rider in a few weeks: "…and so that's how I got chlamydia."

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Fresh off her triumph on Dancing With the Stars, Bristol will appear on What Made You Think You Could Sing? with her rendition of Zappa's "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"

Lascauxcaveman September 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

One does not 'win' after being ridden by Brisdull, one can merely survive.

freddymcmurray September 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm

And the Loser: The Mechanical Bull

horsedreamer_1 September 24, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Conclusion: Bristol remains Undefeated.

freakishlywrong September 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Why is the spawn of Wasillabilly palin' around with the seventies?

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

That's what decade it is in both of her homes — Alaska and Arizona. They had to find her some places in LA where she would be comfortable.

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm

You have a problem with an avocado colored refrigerator?

tessiee September 25, 2011 at 12:32 am

I'd like an avocado filled refrigerator.

Gratuitous World September 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm

and there you have today's Least Surprising Headline

Eve8Apples September 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Who the fuck is deciding to put the Palin clan on TV and why does he or she still have a job in television?

johnnymeatworth September 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

You didn't hear? "Sarah and Todd Plus Five" is replacing "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" on TLC.

Chillwaver September 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Which one is the Mechanical Bull?

Barb September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

The one who got on it with the long hair, the extra long chin and bull semen on her breath already.

KeepFnThatChicken September 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I still smell bullshit.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 4:16 pm

The one with an ounce of dignity left.

GregComlish September 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

The one with the smaller thighs

SayItWithWookies September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Needs moar abstinence.

WhatTheHeck September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

In this case, abstinence turns out to be nothing more than a bum steer.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Honestly, I don't care how much sex she has, if she'd just pledge to abstain from appearing on-camera.

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I am going to abstain from watching the show.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Oh, god, I totally blew that, didn't I? I completely neglected to consider that she might pursue voiceover work. The horror…the horror…

tihond September 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm

She only rode the bull after it slipped her a few wine coolers.

orygoon September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I used to read books about and look at pictures of Alaska and think it was pretty neat. And I guess it was, actually, long-ago-enough.

Are the people in the next-door part of Canada this disgusting?

bagofmice September 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Yep. A bunch of southern white trash truckers moved up in the 70's to build the government funded Alaska pipeline from prudhoe bay to Valdez (Of the Exxon Valdez fame). After living there for a few years, the state pays you for living there from the permanent fund, established by taxing the oil.

Hi dad.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Is Dad Hugh The Polar Bear?

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Is Bristle Huge the Polar Bear?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:37 pm

She's certainly HUGE, her mother's Polarizing, and she's often Bare, but I don't know if anyone's considered the conjoining of all three concepts.

baconzgood September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

NAILED IT ON THE HEAD LIBEL!!!!!!!!!

GhostBuggy September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I'm sort of aroused by this video, but I am unsure which part. I think it's the yelling. This is all very distressing.

Not_So_Much September 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Might be one of the smaller mechanical devices that labors betwixt her enormous, galumphing thighs.

Guppy06 September 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

If only. Such devices tend not to knock you up.

fuflans September 23, 2011 at 11:32 pm

she is just enormous.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Is that a Courtney approved mechanical bull?

Goonemeritus September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Nice to see the Palin clan continues to elevate the tenor of the conversation. This tribe makes the Wonkinati look like the Algonquin Round Table.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Why, good sir, I'd have said that it was the Wonkerrati that made us look like the Algonquin Round Table.

Especially our combined bar tab.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Buckety buckety and another round!

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm

DRINK!

Mort_Sinclair September 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Is this where I do my best Dorothy Parker imitation by planting my elbows on the table, taking a long swig of my drink, and sneering, "I've seen bigger balls on a cocker spaniel"?

tessiee September 25, 2011 at 12:37 am

"the Algonquin Round Table"

Apropos to the subject of this article, I will quote an Algonquin Round Table Anecdote: Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, Dorothy Parker came up with, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think".

PalinzADummy September 25, 2011 at 12:42 am

Bless that woman, she was vile, quick, and funny.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

It's a shame that bull didn't have sharp horns to gore her with.

P.S. My petition is up at whitehouse.gov.
~

MissusBarry September 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Nice petition, ITTDGY. Spot on. If you'll excuse me, I need to go read the Hatch Act and my sure I can't be fired for signing it.

elviouslyqueer September 23, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Killer robots? WHY WASN'T I TOLD?

HistoriCat September 23, 2011 at 4:58 pm

I like your petition but I'm leaning towards signing onto the Casey Anthony petition instead.

prommie September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

He shoulda used more baseball bat.

Schmannnity September 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Wait. Is the story that Bristol is out at a bar riding a mechanical bull while the baby is where, or that Bristol is in a gay bar?

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:38 pm

You ask a lot of questions. What are you, some kind of homosexual?????????

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm

That's gotta be it, Dok. Do his eyes look homosexual to ya?

Schmannnity September 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

If you are referring to my avatar, I always thought I had Nazi eyes.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Ernst Roehm, SA, same thing, right?

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I always thought you had nuts-y eyes.

Schmannnity September 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Also, If my profile said "Miami Democrat Anglo straight male," I could no longer say more numerous than manatees.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:31 pm

And yet, they continue to outnumber us. WTH are they coming from?

No, not the manatees, geesh.

An_Outhouse September 23, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Poor kid. I wouldn't want to be searching the internet and find a vid of my mother riding a mechanical bull and acting like an ignorant bitch. We do our ignorant bitching in private.

KeepFnThatChicken September 23, 2011 at 3:17 pm

"At one point, the man also tells Palin that he doesn’t believe in hell, but that if it exists, he believes her mother will go there."

When arguing, it would help if you do not deny a position, then take that position. And "She lives — she breathes" makes you sound like a goddamn teabagger, because they also eschew evidence.

Guppy06 September 23, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Yes, we need to elevate the standards of our drunken bar shouting.

KeepFnThatChicken September 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm

You mean "Tea Party Rallies"?

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

No, those are insane scooter shouting.

Schmannnity September 23, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I was for Hell before I was against it. John Kerry

Ohforcripessake September 23, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Bless you John McCain

DashboardBuddha September 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm

We should strap his ass to the bull and run it on high until he apologizes.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Cindy McCain approves this message.

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm

We should strap his ass to Bristle and run her on high until he apologizes. Shouldn't take as long so we can get back to drinking sooner.

Barb September 23, 2011 at 3:17 pm

The funny thing is that they had to give the mechanical bull a few girly wine coolers before it would let Bristol mount it.

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:22 pm

After mounting the mechanical bull, Bristol will be spawning a cyborg minotaur next.

bagofmice September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I think the instruction to only use one hand on the bull is more salacious.

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Don't forget the WD-40 lube.

Barb September 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm

In Wasilla, they just use lard as a personal lubricant.

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I see Bristol brought quite a lot with her.

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

In Texass, they use HW-41 and W-43 as lube.

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 10:09 am

"In Wasilla, they just use lard as a personal lubricant."

AND a snack!

Pithaughn September 23, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Who's the genius that hid a Sybian inside the mechanical bull machine? Is that Howard in the background there?

FakaktaSouth September 23, 2011 at 3:18 pm

She honestly should not be on a mech bull with that ridiculous chin implant. If that bull hit her in the face she could knock her entire lower mandible off. That shit is gross.

Also, if I am not a homosexual (never was recruited. thanks fuckers) can I still hate a Palin, and would she be able to tell?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Hey, I could sign you up right now, if you want. You won't get your membership badge and stuff for, like, six weeks, though.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 4:07 pm

You are offering that because you get a toaster, right? Shameless.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Wow, you got a toaster? They just offered me years' supply of lube, man. I gotta go talk to HQ. BRB.

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

That's better than the pencil you get for becoming a Hare Krishna.

Spurning Beer September 23, 2011 at 11:25 pm

I registered as a hobosexual. I got a can of beans and a pair of chaps.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:58 pm

I'll bet their names were Morty and Marty. Those nice chaps.

Callyson September 23, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Bristol really thinks the only people who hate Saint Sarah are homosexuals? I happen to be a straight woman, conveniently located here in LA, and I'll be glad to tell her why I hate her mother. In detail. Call me, Bristol!

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I guess that teacher in Alaska was a lesbian.

Nostrildamus September 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm

This sort of public incident is why Sarah has a mechanical bull installed in the AK governor's mansion.

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Right beside the tanning bed.

prommie September 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

She is an arrogant twat, isn't she?

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I probably would be too if people paid me $25,000 per for mumbling the story of my pathetic life right after I got my GED. And remember, this is now her second reality TV show. That shit is serious fame in this Armageddon that is U.S. Amurica.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Well, she gonna have to amp it up after this. Tweet a pic of her lady parts?

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm

DO NOT WANT; only from attractive celebrities please.

HistoriCat September 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Coming soon to Penthouse – Bristol and Mercede together!!!

(I just made myself sick. Ew.)

UW8316154 September 23, 2011 at 11:58 pm

She'd just be copying Meghan at this point, and a poor imitation at that.

Chillwaver September 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm

At least Snookie got punched the face. Not fair…

V572 Moon! September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm

In Bristol's defense (three words I never imagined writing), the culture which spawned her demands that you confront someone who howls obscenities about your mother. However, the whole thing smacks of setup, and Bristol looks a tad too confident to be really mad.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Gotta agree with you there. Being from the frozen tundra myself (socialist side of the border) you don't just laugh it off if some stranger calls your mom a whore. Even if she is one.

Franknflower September 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Does one of the little girls threaten at the end, “We are going to sue?” That is sooo grifter.

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

When some drunk guy at a bar yells at me, my first response is always to ask him if he's a homosexual.

But they're not bigots, no not at all.

Chillwaver September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

He's lucky Willow (or was it Piper?) wasn't there to call him a "Faggot."

genxr September 23, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Now, I think we can all agree that she danced her way into America's heart.

mumbly_joe September 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm

All of them, Katie.

Barb September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Bristol shouldn't piss off the gays. They give fat chicks someone to dance with.

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Also we've been known to give them sex when the mood is right and there's been enough substances consumed. It's our little secret…

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:23 pm

So that's why Michele is always wild-eyed and cranky?

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Not zaftig enough.

AlterNewt September 24, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Did NOT know that.

ibwilliamsi September 24, 2011 at 3:23 am

Little does she know that there will be a gay makeup artist in her very near future…

Pat_Pending September 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Her gaydar is impeccable.

insidebeltway September 23, 2011 at 6:27 pm

She was in a gay bar.

Mort_Sinclair September 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Thank you, anonymous man, for making my day! "Fucking white trash from Wasilla!" How many of us have wanted to say that to their faces?

orygoon September 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm

All of us, Katie.

OzoneTom September 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I can only hope with all sincerity that he is or will soon become a Wonkette commenter.

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Although an ability to keep writing while drunk is a needed plus. There's only so much room in a thread for "Fucking white trash from Wasilla!" before another phrase is shouted.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm

True. (whistles, looks away)

Pithaughn September 23, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Hey, you beat the Onion to it! "Local Man lips off to Bristol"

Mrs. Bitch September 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Yes dear, the only reason ANY man could possibly hate your mommy dearest is because they are teh ghey. Holy shit.

KeepFnThatChicken September 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Well, duh. Jesus. Either you wear the Manolo Blahniks, or the Manolo Blahniks wear you, honey.

DerrickWildcat September 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Is Tripp pregnant yet?

SexySmurf September 23, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Bristol was there filming the new movie, Urban Reverse Cowgirl.

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm

will there be a double billing with Mitt Night Cowboy?

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Very good. Did you just have that waiting to be used or did that come to you in a flash? +++

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 4:02 pm

i found out a couple of days ago that wife had never seen Midnight Cowboy and i was listening to Faith No More's album, Angeldust, in the car this morning. then i saw the comment. it all came together like clockwork at the right moment. (just like the after parties at GOP debates.)

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Ooooo, "clockwork", "movie" and "Republican" – I just had an idea for future snark. No one steal it™, ya hear?

prommie September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

"Urban" cowgirl? You know, like the Teabaggers use the word "urban" when people are watching? Is she gonna ride some basketball players, like her whore momma?

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Bristol Kardashian?

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 6:53 pm

that chin? more like Bristol Cardassian, amirite?

Pat_Pending September 23, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Needz moar Debra Winger.

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 10:18 am

I was thinking "suburban cowgirl", but yours is good, too.

AutomaticPilot September 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Is she pregnant again or just fat?

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm

pregnant with fat.

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Obviously not dancing six hours a day.

elviouslyqueer September 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Yes.

orygoon September 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm

When do the next daughters start cashing in on Palinism? Are they all whores-out-of-the-ol' cunt?

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Where do you think the expression "pay the Piper" comes from?

Texan_Bulldog September 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm

"Did you ride Levi like that?" Sorry, but that's hilarious!

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm

In the future, this moment represents a tipping point for the robot civil rights movement.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 3:52 pm

WIN!!!

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm

What's the name of this bar. It's going to be the robot Stonewall.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 5:01 pm
BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Coincidentally this is what the back of the mechanical bull smelled like immediately following.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 11:04 pm

They've already got their own anthem, goodness knows.

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 10:22 am

ATTN Bender.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Sarah did the same thing while pregnant with Trig.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Is her show "Drinking With The Stars"?

I used to joke that Bristol became an orphan when her parents died in an ego explosion, but the McGuiness book says that is pretty much literally true.

How will Sarah Palin™ will blame this on Obama?
"The President is woefully silent on this kind of bar room bullying."
"The Obama depression is causing people to lose their manners and their money."
"This is why we need the death penalty [cheers] so we can ban homosexuals [cheers] from taking away the liberties [cheers] Paul Revere warned us about [confused mumbling, then cheers]."

Monsieur_Grumpe September 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm

In Alaska they call mechanical bulls Texas dildos.

See 1:24 for the climax.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

"See 1:24 for the climax."

Worst. Sales pitch. Ever.

Sue4466 September 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Huge fan of the cross & "empowered" sweatshirt. Cause you know Jesus empowerment is all about riding mechanical bulls and bashing the gays.

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Yeah, with her fashion sense, why didn't she chose Fargo or Jacksonville, FL? Nothing says L.A. Hot more than jesus sweatshirts in 80 degree weather. . .in a bar.

BTWBFDIMHO September 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Eh, mezink she was cooler than him.

SexySmurf September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Did you ride Levi like that?

Seeing how the bull ride lasted longer than 20 seconds and Bristol actually moved around a little, I'm going to guess no.

mumbly_joe September 23, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Also, in this video, she actually is probably full of wine coolers, instead of lying and claiming she was later to imply that the mechanical bull raped her.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 4:30 pm

She also would have claimed that the mechanical bull raping her was Zeus, but the producers told her it would sound too European.

FlownOver September 23, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Because she heard someone in the bar (probably in the kitchen) calling "Hey, Zeus!"

DemonicRage September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Gee. Those shots of her moving up and down on the spine of the mechanical bull make it easy to imagine what she looked like when she and Levi were….er, helping one another with their homework. Do you think that's the point of the ride?

fletc3her September 23, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Mama grizzly's getting a little grizzly.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Usually, the bull rides the cow.

johnnymeatworth September 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm

On the plus side, maybe this will finally get those people from the Ibsen festival to stop calling her about starring in A Doll's House.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Though I would absolutely attend if the Stratford Shakespeare festival got Sarah to star in Macbeth. With McCain as Duncan and Todd as Lady Macbeth.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Oh God, as an actor I actually have been in a couple of productions that were cast by Star fuckers and it is so vile to have to pretend that these people have any talent.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Worst DWTS episode yet.

Sue4466 September 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Bristol, honey, the reason people hate your mom has nothing to do with their being gay. It's cause your mom is a self-righteous dumbass who refuses to go the fuck away already.

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Seriously. Listen, Grifter, Jr, there are plenty of reasons we don't want your dumb as shit mother near our democratic processes.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Alright, which one of you fuckers is the shouty, bald Palin-hater?

Chillwaver September 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Today, we are all shouty bald Palin-haters.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Perfection.

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Although as age catches up with me the hair thins, yet I still have some hair, and I still hate Sarah Palin.

johnnymeatworth September 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

All of us, Katie.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

(feels skull – nope, still hairy)

NOT ME!

Canmon September 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Andrew Sullivan?

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Haha!

Pat_Pending September 23, 2011 at 5:43 pm

off to shave now…

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I'd like to be a shouty, balled Palin-hater. Sara? Barb?

LetUsBray September 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Angry Drunken Shouting Homosexual '16.

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Right? And since it's non-specific, we could take turns being the President if we win, since all of us are angry about something, and most of us drink like fish…

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Is Lindsay running?

gurukalehuru September 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Joe the Butt Plumber

MLite September 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Jesus people, IT'S A TRAP! This kind of stuff feeds right into their conservative victimization mentality. I agree with these guys 100%, but I wish they wouldn't shout it at her daughter when cameras are rolling. The Palinites will lap this up and use it to justify their homophobic bigotry.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Yes, because what would they do without a justification for their bigotry? Maybe if we're real nice to them, we can reach some sort of compromise.

MLite September 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Fuck them, but this just gives them ammo and helps them recruit. Sarah has built her fortune off of victimization and this is exactly the type of ammo she has used.

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I don't think Sarah "recruits." She just speaks to and represents low-income, poorly educated, gun-totin' whites who think they are Christian and have a trite, mindless slogan/solution for every issue. That 28% of America was already there before Sarah and will be there after she is gone. She's merely their prom queen du jour.

As for this minority's spawn, I don't think they are all that interested in Bristol. The Kardashian-worshiping masses don't think she's fashionable because she isn't surrounded by the right material goods and Jesus Camp kids were taught to think she's immoral. Who does that leave? Wrestling fans, Junior NRA members, and people who still think Ed Hardy T-shirts are cool? The viewers who voted for her on that dance show were her mother's followers who do whatever Sarah tells them. (Like send her $20 to make up her mind not to run.)

The Palins aren't a political movement, they're an endless tape loop brought to you by vacuous TV producers.

FlownOver September 23, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Barry, is that you?

Wonderthing September 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Why can't drunk homosexuals and white trashy snowbilly grifterettes get along? I envision a world where the lamb lies down with the lion. I envision a world where snakes and bees form collectives. I envision…oh shit, this is good stuff.

LettucePrey September 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Napkins and paper towels eloping?

elviouslyqueer September 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Paper and plastic commingling, also.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

MIXED FIBERS!

ProudLibunatic September 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Dogs and cats living together…

An_Outhouse September 23, 2011 at 4:51 pm

box turtles and …

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 12:33 pm

John Cornyn, obvy.

Nothingisamiss September 24, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Oh, def. FTW.

Chillwaver September 23, 2011 at 3:36 pm

The guy whose "high five" was denied @ 1:52 is the real victim here.

Neoyorquino September 23, 2011 at 3:37 pm

And this is why, for a grown man, my TV viewing primarily consists of Sponge Bob, Archer, Venture Bros, and various Adult Swim cartoons.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Though, as an avid Law & Order watcher, I can see a "ripped from the headlines" episode featuring the daughter of a pol, a drunken homosexual and a mechanical bull. Okay, that's the Law part. This is one epi that might not have an Order part.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm

That's the episode where I hope the killer gets off on a technicality.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm

And this is why my TV viewing entirely consists of not watching it–ever.

Neoyorquino September 23, 2011 at 4:24 pm

I aspire to that someday . . . but for now, I gotta have my Sponge Bob.

GregComlish September 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm

BTW, Heart of Archness Part 2 just released yesterday. Check out the torrent.

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I'm a connoisseur of The Smoking Gun Presents: The World's Dumbest…….
because, at least, people like Leif Garrett, Tonya Harding, and Danny Bonaduce realize that they are nothing but white trash degenerates, but are willing to laugh at themselves.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Many years ago (this was back in college) we were in San Francisco when a somewhat drunk fellow began to harass a gay man. I think it was over a parking space.

Anyway, the gay guy finally got fed up and said "There's only one thing I like more than sucking cock – and that's kicking ass."

He proceeded to wipe the sidewalk with the face of the inebriant.

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Love a story with a happy ending.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I want to have that gay man's baby.

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Found Bristol's new tagline for the reality show.

LettucePrey September 23, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Um, did Bristol say "I'm half African-American" at 3:20? WHAT?!

Barb September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Yeah, didn't you hear? Bristol's mom rode a negro like Sea Biscuit.

HempDogbane September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Lookin' Fer Love in All Th' Wrong Places…

horsedreamer_1 September 24, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Nookin' pa nub in all dee rong paces.

Antispandex September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

First Santorum, and now Bristol. Who's next? No, seriously, who's next? Oh, and I believe she could tell he was a homosexual. I mean, I could tell she is a c**t, and I've never been near her.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Ya know, Bristol, when I was in college, I thought I might be homosexual, but I was only half in Ernest.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm

LOL. Ernest felt you were half out.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I love you.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Pun stolen from your countryman, dotty sci-fi madman Robert Rankin…not sure whether it was from The Fandom of the Operator or Nostradamus Ate My Hamster, though I rather think it was the former.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm

My favourite , until you came up with that, were the two gay Scotsmen, and you have to say this with an accent, Ben Doon and Phil McCavity.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I suppose you also know the two gay Irishmen Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 11:49 pm

"when I was in college, I thought I might be homosexual, but I was only half in Ernest."

A helpful hint for future liaisons: Keep the K-Y *separate* from the Superglue.

NewtsChicknNeck September 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

does Bristol also know that Marcus Bachhmannn is teh gay?

CountryClubJihadi September 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I hope she includes these new skills in "The Idiot's Guide to Dry Humping".

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Why don't we all have a pithy drunken statement of fact when we need one? He did kinda sound like a teabagger. What about: "She stirs up hatred, denies that all Americans are "real Americans" and won't let me marry and drunkenly abuse my partner of choice?"

Also, too, stop with the abstinence talky talky, sister. Jealous? You bet I am. On the other hand, I wasn't a mother in my teens and a probable grandmother in my thirties. Maybe I don't have the chops to talk about abstinence since my drunken sex was of the sexy, regret-for-the-right -reasons sex.

SorosBot September 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm

We don't usually have a good pithy drunken statement of fact when we need one because of the drunken part, sadly; although the "did you ride Levi like that?" was clever.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm

You go to bars with the pithy drunken statement of fact you have, not the pithy drunken statement of fact you wish you had.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Looks like she got her salad tossed AND percolated.

WhatTheHeck September 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Well slap me on my cheekless, leather chaps!
I'm not amused by this bull-ridin’ vulgarity.

OneYieldRegular September 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm

That's one hell of a commercial for abstinence.

And doesn't this woman have a child or something to raise?

prommie September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

My fantasy punk band has changed its name again, to "Bristol and the Angry Shouting Gay Guys."

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

You know what HPV vaccination leads to?! Riding mechanical bulls!!

mumbly_joe September 23, 2011 at 3:50 pm

BULL-udd LIBEL!

johnnyzhivago September 23, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Can we please invoke a DADT rule regarding ALL PALINS???

Don't ASK about them – and PLEASE don't TELL me anything about them!!!

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Bristol + booze + West Hollywood + fight-inciting reality TV production = total bullshit fakery on this whole damn mess.

Q: What part of this set-up is believable?
A: None of it, Katie.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm

#NotIntendedToBeAFactualSituation

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Joe The Shouter.

subsum September 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Oh, what the fuck… I'll say it: she can ride me any time.

Barb September 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Slam your dick into your car door and you'll do less damage to it.

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Although as a male I have noticed that I am horny all the time, there is the recognition that comes with age and experience, no matter how horny I am sex with the psycho bitch always goes very badly at some point in the "relationship".

Barb September 23, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Yeah, she's probably a bunny boiler anyway.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Yeah, and if you hold her under in the tub, don't, I repeat, don't think it is over until the credits roll. We need a term for this type of ending. Pailend?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:48 pm

The little head says Yes, but the big head says, "Only if you leave and never return afterwards."

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 11:55 pm

"no matter how horny I am sex with the psycho bitch always goes very badly "

Libby Reid sums it up as:
"Pick the healthy scenario
a) Have sex with this person
b) Spend the weekend locked in a roomful of rabid bats"

PS. How sad is it that *each and every person who read this* immediately had someone that they know come to mind?

strateghost September 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I think he was being kind of a dick. I actually thought she handled it okay. But that doesn't mean Sarah isn't a complete whore. in addition.

Extemporanus September 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Bristol Palin is a mechanical bull dyke.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Sorry, the LGBTQ commuity doesn't want her. She's a breeder, y'all are stuck with her.

Extemporanus September 23, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I knew I should've emphasized the inauthentic-inferring word "mechanical".

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I don't care if she's a nanobot version, we want nothing to do with the lot of them.

Extemporanus September 23, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Duly noted, ODummy.

Going forward, I assure you that I shall endeavor to ensure that any off-hand, obtuse, ostensibly witty wordplay in which I might inelegantly engage meets or exceeds the well established, widely agreed upon, online comment criteria required for said wordplay to be definitively deemed a literally true factual statement.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Agreed, although self-hating GOProud would change her tampon with their teeth if she asked and let them keep it.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I keep hearing about these Lesbian-Gay BBQs. Are you guys really good at smoking brisket or something? That would make an awesome recruiting incentive!

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Our smoked bone is legend in our parts.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I was going to try and bring Teh Snark, but I bow before a master.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Oh, yeah, I remember that Bjork video.

Come here a minute September 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm

I call bull.

veritass September 23, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Sarah Palin lives in Wasilla, Alaska and for her vacation, she travels to the barren wasteland heartland of America to talk politics with old white people on scooters. I like to think she's already in hell.

Jukesgrrl September 24, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Don't forget her new second home in Scottsdale, AZ. If she wants some heat to really remind her of hell, she can go there in the summer.

Nopantsmcgee September 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Ok, now I have to root for Bristol. Goddamn it.

This drunken idiot needs someone to take him out back. I'm a homersexual too, and cannot stand the Palins but this was just plain douchbaggery on his part.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Stop. Reflect. Reassess.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I read that as "Reass" and thought it was some new sexual thingy that I didn't know about yet.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Round 2, Santorum be damned….?

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 4:55 pm

It could refer to a second date with Bristol. Not sure.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Yeah, I feel the same way. Though there is no doubt in my mind that it was a staged setup to generate sympathy for Bristle, it was a staged representation of prime-grade asshattery.

But somebody help me out here – is there actually any reason to think the guy is a homosexual? I couldn't stand watching beyond the part where Brisle started talking, so I'm only going by the first couple of things he said, as quoted above. Which seem to be – Bristle reaching for what is evidently a favorite insult – "you're homosexual". Guy says "why do you say that?" Bristle says "I can tell" and guy flips out. Did he later turn to the camera and state, soliloquy-style "Ah, and I am indeed one of those homosexuals you have heard so much about." or something?

LetUsBray September 23, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Disagree. Douchbaggery in pursuit of Palin-bashing is no vice.

extreme_left September 23, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Palins should be abused any time outside of their house.

LakeLucilleLoon September 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Bristol does realize that there are gays in West Hollywood, right? I even know some gays in West Wasilla, where she grew up.

Jukesgrrl September 24, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Not to mention she was on Dancing with the Stars. I doubt if that's Straightsville.

HobbesEvilTwin September 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm

so she's in a gay bar riding a bull. Who the fuck is watching her child? Family fucking values!

chascates September 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I'm not a homosexual but I hate her mother as well!

Beowoof September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Clearly staged or she would have called him a fucking fag. That this dimwit gets any media attention is amazing. We truly have allowed to TV to become a circus freak show.
I still feel fortunate that there are books.

jus_wonderin September 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Books? What are these books of which you speak?

Mort_Sinclair September 23, 2011 at 4:08 pm

On a second viewing, it really appears that Bristol and her hanger-ons don't really seem to have a clue that a whole swath of America HATES the Palins–hates her mother, hates her, and hates everything they stand for. She really, really is a dumb shit.

horsedreamer_1 September 24, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Hangers-on.

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Worst entourage ever.

MikeInMichigan September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm

What is this guy's name, and what is his address? I want to send him money.

Canmon September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm

At least she has better gaydar than Michelle Bachmann.

Radiotherapy® September 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm

You know that scene in Urban Cowboy where Scott Glenn gets all domestic violence on Sissy? That's what I'm thinking with Bristol on a maniacal bull in Wasilla.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm

You know, I'll bet Piper is completely normal, sensible and mortified. Like the daughter on "Absolutely Fabulous," or the "straight" girl on "The Munsters."

Arken September 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Sadly, her facebook fights prove otherwise. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/16/willow-p

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:26 pm

That was Willow, though. So rise above it, Piper, or Trig will have to be the hope of the family!

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:24 pm

We should count on Piper to write the angriest revenge memoir of 2025.

FlownOver September 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Mommy Sneerest?

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:27 pm

That poor kid has been doing childcare for Trig from pretty much the moment he was born. It's the kind of thing kids tend to resent, and remember.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Piper was the one that thanked the media for "ruining" her "family vacation" this summer, so, probably not. Maybe, she'll be able to escape her mother's brainwashing, but I don't have much hope.

DerrickWildcat September 23, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Shame on you angry homosexual!

BarackMyWorld September 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm

This will end up as a Fox News talking point about how vile liberals/homosexuals are, I just know it.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 5:11 pm

With special guest Santorum, and he's going to really lay it on thick.

FlownOver September 23, 2011 at 5:58 pm

ISWYDT

elviouslyqueer September 23, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Close (especially in the comments).

GOPCrusher September 23, 2011 at 5:58 pm

This whole thing smells like a James O'Keefe Production.

El Pinche September 23, 2011 at 4:18 pm

“Because I can tell you are,”

The little fame whorelette is confused because he's not hiding his gay like a conservative/Republican homo .

littlebigdaddy September 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Can we call him an Anger Bear, or do bears have to be hairy?

jmfarkwood September 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

As a lesbian trapped in a man's body, I like the Sybian ride better than the other stuff.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:21 pm

This is the worst sybian porn I have ever seen.

littlebigdaddy September 23, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Howard Stern does not approve.

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 4:26 pm

If there ever was any doubt, her mother is NOT running for president.

BarackMyWorld September 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm

How it happened in Bristol's mind: http://cli.ps/V7NG

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 1:58 pm

But it was more like chitty-chitty-bang-bang.

PlanetWingNut September 23, 2011 at 4:31 pm

something to chew on:

a friend from another blog board said this –

Of course it was set up.

Have you ever seen how they tape these shows on location? They literally shut down the entire block. They park vans of equipment out front and keep the public out of the business — with private security and often the local police. Everyone who is allowed inside works for the production company.

They don't just walk into any random business and start taping the show. These things are planned by the producers for weeks in advance. They script the entire thing.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Called it.

mrblifil September 23, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Proven by the fact that the guy does not collapse into a heap of laughter after being asked if he is a "homosexual." Any self respecting homosexual, in response to the evocation of that dated term, would have had the good sense to devolve into gales of cruel peals of mockery, with some well-timed Wildean zingers thrown in for good measure. Because, you know, that's how they do.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Wouldja stop giving away our secrets already?

Totally called it, though. I just can't see any LGBTQ person worth their salt responding with "Yes. How did you know?" when asked. Especially in a straight bar (there's galz in there, either it's a straight bar, or it's been commandeered. Most gay bars are, let's say, not very encouraging to the straight girls).

mumbly_joe September 25, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I'm inclined to agree, strongly, that this was obviously staged. For starters, most people wouldn't be able to tell Bristol Palin apart from a hole in the ground- well, a hole in the ground that poops out babies who are doomed to a lifetime of illiteracy, malice, and grifting.

But the point being, nobody seeing a teevee crew following around a chubby trust-fund-baby would instantly make the leap to "she's Bristol Palin". She's just not important enough for people to actually recognize in public, and even with the teevee crew, the more reasonable assumptions are things like, "Jersey Shore, but on the West Coast, for some reason" or "The Real World: Orange County".

Radiotherapy® September 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Maybe she was also riding a Red Bull.

pdiddycornchips September 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Remember a while back when the NY Post's Page 6 announced they would not write another story about Paris Hilton? Can we try something like that with the Snow Grifter clan?

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

"I'm a homosexual!" "I'm a homosexual!" "I'm a homosexual!"

GunToting[Redacted] September 23, 2011 at 5:14 pm

YOU get a homosexual! And YOU get a homosexual! You ALL get homosexuals!

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm

GunToting, you are SO generous! And considerate! I'll take two, please.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Be still, my beating heart!

genxr September 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Thanks for ruining our summer vacation.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I'm with the big-titted, chin-implanted one on this, that guy needs to be buggered by a stevedore out back.

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Oh, they've got that episode written already, too.

valgal2342 September 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Not to defend Bristol or God forbid, Sarah, but that guy had a few hate/anger issues of his own. That said, I agree 100% with Sue4466.

hilbillyheroine September 23, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I can't see Brisket's fingers. I think she might be trying to do a "womb-shifter" move or something. Like mom.

tihond September 23, 2011 at 4:54 pm

"You're with me, leather… and you can come too, Bristol."

elviouslyqueer September 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Just to clarify: F***ing white trash from Wasilla is f***ing. And white. And trash. And from Wasilla.

BornInATrailer September 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm

If the video let you have alt text my vote would be "Rube Goldberg Goes Cow Tipping"

owhatever September 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Brisket finally found a way to have a sexual release without having a baby, via mechanical bestiality, and the moment was ruined by this uncouth drunk. They film this in a bar, what did they expect? Whore diamonds? Probably.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Reading vampire slut-novels while sitting on the washer wasn't working anymore?

GunToting[Redacted] September 23, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Two questions… Did that mechanical bull have epilepsy? I've never seen one quiver that way.

And, did her sweatshirt say HemPowered?

gurukalehuru September 23, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Er, ummm, Bristol, about your dance partner on that TV show….

JackObin September 23, 2011 at 5:16 pm

I can actually remember when this corpse of a country featured Playhouse 90 on television. Now it featured humanoids with IQ's below 90.

smokefilleddoommate September 23, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I love how the camera guy says, "What's that about, Bristol?" as a stupid attempt to create some narrative. Use your fucking context clues.

Also, I wish the guy had something a bit more intelligent to say rather than shouting random insults. He just played into the hands of people who create words like 'libunatic.' Bristol actually comes out of this looking rather sane and composed and of course, victimized.

BarackMyWorld September 23, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Mission Accomplished!

HarryButtle September 23, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Today, we are all drunk, shouty homosexuals.

Pat_Pending September 23, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I think Bristol left her baby on the bar. Again.

James Michael Curley September 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Bristol Palin, a priest and an EMR team member walk into a bar. The medic treated the priest for minor head injuries and Bristol Palin sued OSHA for setting the height of the bar too low.

ShripathiKamath September 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm
glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 6:05 pm

This is a fantastic parenting example. Oh wait, she never seems to actually have her baby with her except as a prop.

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Actually you're in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode, where for almost the whole show you think you're stuck in a world of aggressively stupid jerks, but then at the end you wake up and it was all a dream – really you are in a world of Einsteins and Newtons and Mme Curies and Diderots.

Haha! Just jackin' with ya. It's true – we really are drowning in an ocean of morons.

druranium September 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

I enjoyed the "Fuck you fucking bitch" at the end there.

rocktonsam September 23, 2011 at 6:28 pm

at least BPalin is riding a bull and not a NBA stud.

Good girl, wheres your child?

mrblifil September 23, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Turns out Bette Davis was right, it was an extremely bumpy ride.

ph7 September 23, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Who's to blame when situations degenerate?
Disgusting things you'd never anticipate

Bombed, crashers gettin' bombed
Crasher's gettin' bombed, bombed, bombed, bombed, well who's to blame?

fletc3her September 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm

What is up with that sweatshirt?

smokefilleddoommate September 23, 2011 at 7:22 pm

It looks like a Stryper album cover.

horsedreamer_1 September 24, 2011 at 12:35 pm

777.

Poindexter718 September 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

That's just good TV.

ttommyunger September 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I can't believe I'm doing this; I think she handled herself, her tormentor and the situation like an intelligent, gutsy and classy broad. She certainly displayed more class than her opponent. Must lie down now, head spinning…..where am I?

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Wow. Sounds like you had an attack of the OldCootz, dood.

I dunno. It all seemed staged to me. If someone were calling my mom names, much as I despise the woman, I'd probly clock the sonofabitch. She's MY MOM, i.e., my fucking cross to bear, and I'm the only one who gets to call her the fucking bitch that she is, because I'm the one who had to put up with her shit.

Pity ShoutyDrunkGayGuy wasn't coherent enough to defend his stance. "Sarah Palin is a whore" might be fun to shout, but much less impressive than "Sarah Palin left Wasilla $20 MILLION in debt, when it was a town of ~5,000."

ttommyunger September 24, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Nobody comes out of a pissing contest dry. She should have ignored the asshole, but then who am I to lecture anyone on propriety?

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Just my much-respected and much-liked friend who will kick the ass right off anyone violating his standards of propriety (I suspect). But yes, she would have come off a lot better not engaging in the pissing contest.

henrypuppyhead September 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm

So much for that rehymenation.

Sassomatic September 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Okay, I'm from the Deep South, so I've seen a girl ride a mechanical bull. Hell, I've BEEN a girl riding a mechanical bull. But I've never seen an actual whore ride a mechanical bull. I've never seen the operator make a girl shake her pussy, like a whore, on the mechanical bull, like that. And that was the classiest part of the whole thing.

ringletwraith September 23, 2011 at 9:07 pm

I sure hope little Tripp isn't gay.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm

I thought Tripp was this dimbulb's older brother. No? Isn't the little one named Trick or Frick or something?

ibwilliamsi September 23, 2011 at 10:36 pm

She "can tell" he's a homosexual? Beeyatch!

krazyvladimir September 23, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Today we are all homosexuals

fuflans September 23, 2011 at 11:36 pm

all the classiest things happen around the palins.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I can't believe this, but I'm sympathizing with Bristol, here. Maybe it's the black in me, but you talk about my momma like that (and she could be Atilla the Hun), and we're going to have a little trouble. And, he shouts vile shit at a woman thinking that she won't or can't beat his ass. Classy.

But, yeah, that's still a pretty shit family they got their.

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 1:46 pm

And one day Brisdull and April's cutesy made-for-tee-vee- in-your-face-keeping-it-real act is going to shatter that glass jaw.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Funny, you, me, and ttommy all agree on something. Wouldja look outside and see if the sky is falling? ;-)

slowhansolo September 24, 2011 at 1:44 am

I'm very sorry in the very likely event I repeat something that went before in this swollen behemoth of a thread, but that "bull" moved about like my 60-year-old aunt at about 11:30 p.m. Christmas Eve.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Hmm. I would like to meet your aunt.

slowhansolo September 24, 2011 at 1:45 am

Oh, and I'm sure "Bristol" gets very "brave" every time there's a "camera" about her "face."

joeyquicksand September 24, 2011 at 10:14 am

That guy was a serious asshole. He's like the dweeby gay version of those christian nutcases who picket troops funerals.

Pres.LibunaticBrox September 24, 2011 at 11:53 am

I see shit like this and I wonder how much longer until the End of Days. Unless this is one of them.

O yeah, and I dig the trendy Christian hoodie worn by that paragon of Christian family values. As it sayeth in Lunacy 4:20 – "Verily, I say unto thee, if thou shalt have as many Children out of wedlocke as thou wishest, I shall be pleased."

grex1949 September 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

At home, she can do ten minutes on her personal mechanical bull, "Sybian", before she falls off, exhausted.

NorthStarSpanx September 24, 2011 at 1:48 pm

And I'm sure she billed SarahPAC $5,000 to have it wired to take the juice it needs next to the tanning bed.

seppdecker September 24, 2011 at 11:48 pm

This is why Marie Antoinette had a mechanical bull installed at Versailles – to avoid provoking the rabble.

tessiee September 25, 2011 at 12:43 am

I'm not a hommasexshul, but may I go on record as saying that I think the Palins are whores and white trash anyway?

not that Dewey September 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Duly noted.

Beanball September 25, 2011 at 2:23 am

It's stuff like this that makes me think that things are looking up, after all.

And liberal media, you listening? thanks for these memories.

sati_demise September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Damn sad. all of it.

teebob2000 September 26, 2011 at 11:40 am

Am I the only dude who totally came in his pants at about the 1:40 mark?

miked420 June 20, 2012 at 12:48 am

She looks pretty good in that clip

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

blogwhore / commercial spam reported to webmaster and to support@intensedebate.com

Chichikovovich September 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Oh, I hope so. 'Cause it must be time for a night of the long knives any moment now. Sean, it's been nice knowin' ya. Probably a good idea not to sleep with your young male lover tonight. Less embarrassing that way.

genxr September 23, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Frat Dick Central sounds more like the Brisket we've all come to know.

I'm happy to report that I know nothing about the L.A. bar scene.

Tommmcattt September 23, 2011 at 4:21 pm

You are truly blessed, indeed.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Oh, the huge manatee!

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 4:43 pm

tacky-ometer.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Top of the world, Ma!

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Why not? It's either that or Monty Python's "Bring me ze bucket."

widestanceshakedown September 23, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Again with the blushing.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Oh, geezus, did someone piss in your wheaties, son? I'm not here for a big-dicking contest, so you can put that thang back in your pants now. Wow. Hard day at the office? Or just general piss and vinegar? Whatever it is, I want none of it. Relax. Enjoy your life. And leave me the fuck alone.

tessiee September 27, 2011 at 9:30 am

So, are you telling us that you now write for "Doonesbury"?

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Don't encourage me, because you look SO cute when you do that! ;-)

Spurning Beer September 24, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Nice chaps, but kinda ass-less.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 11:32 pm

There's more to life than ass, Doc, even if my life fails to prove that.

tessiee September 25, 2011 at 12:39 am

Oh, come on! It iz only a whaffer-thin mint!

PalinzADummy September 25, 2011 at 12:43 am

You've been watching Python again, haven't you?

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 10:20 am

Just a guess: Does it involve wiring their eyelids open and forcing them to watch all of Michael Moore's ouevre while Beethoven plays in the background?

Extemporanus September 26, 2011 at 9:14 pm

I did indeed lay the snark on a little thick, and for that I apologize. However, was such an over-the-top, off-base, totally vituperative reply really called for? I mean, really? (And if so, did it also have to be so hopelessly unfunny and cliché-laden?)

Look, I don't know who you think I am — cocky kid ("Son"?!); asshole troll?; verbose cyberbully? — but I've been here a very long time, I'm one of the good guys, and I'm on your side. There's no need to frag a fellow Wonketteer.

And with that said, I will now heed your order to "enjoy my life" and leave you "the fuck alone", which is exactly what I had been fucking doing (when not love fisting your thirty(?!) comments per day with nary a word) before you chose to reply to me.

PalinzADummy September 26, 2011 at 9:23 pm

No, the apology should be mine. I really am sorry. I'm sorry you found my vituperation unfunny and cliche-laden, but also sorry that I responded with vituperation. I'm sorry I fragged you. I apologize. I won't do it again.

Friends?

Extemporanus September 26, 2011 at 9:34 pm

With a capital fucking "F".

It's an absolutely gorgeous evening, so I'm gonna unplug again and go for a nice long walk. I'll be sure to smile warmly and give ya a big ol' wave as I pass on by…

PalinzADummy September 26, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Thank you for accepting my apology. It was a pretty rotten thing to do, and I appreciate your kindness of spirit. Have a wonderful evening. (waves back)

tessiee September 26, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Do they speak Gay Lick?

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