Porn King Adds $1 Million Prize To America's Hunt For Perry Sex Scandal

 Dim caricature human Rick Perry is such an obvious sleazeball that the entire country is convinced that somewhere, somehow, there is some gross sex Rick Perry sex scandal waiting like a pile of turd-colored diamonds at the bottom of a cave for some lucky miner willing to "go there" and unearth this disgusting information. Porn emperor Larry Flynt, like all the rest of us, gets endless spam emails from various wackadoodles claiming Perry has at some point knocked boots with half the female strippers and all of the gay ones in the state of Texas, so Flynt is kindly offering $1 million to anyone willing to come forward with proof he can print in Hustler . He is not the first to offer money, but this is real money . Will the horrible economy be enough to make Perry's sexytime victims come forward? (Yes, let's hope.)

From the Houston Chronicle:  

Flynt said his office hears considerable chatter about Perry’s private life.

“That’s the reason why we decided to run the ad; otherwise we wouldn’t do it,” Flynt said Thursday. “We hope to get leads. If we do, we have good investigators to put on the story.”

Perry campaign spokesman Ray Sullivan said Perry’s team “will decline to weigh in on this garbage.”

Hustler Magazine’s newspaper ad offers up to $1 million in cash to anyone who can provide “evidence of illicit sexual or intimate relations with the governor.”

“You never know what’s going to break. You never know which way it’s going to break,” Flynt said. “But the thing about is, they usually all have something to hide.”

Yeah yeah, sure, of course, but really the important part is that all of this comes out a day after Perry wins the GOP nomination. [ Houston Chronicle ]