OH GOD NOT AGAIN  9:00 pm September 22, 2011

Liveblogging the GOP Fox News Strap-On Death Match Debate #54

by Ken Layne

The three stigmata of Fox News 2012.No not another one! Yes, another one! We will do some liveblogging on this, maybe? To give Kirsten Boyd Johnson a break so she can “do something at night” (cry), maybe? Yes! We do hope you’ve picked up the usual giant-sized condoms full of vodka and ice axes, and that you’re ready to join us for this special thing. How will the Fox News GOP Debate celebrate today’s 391-point drop in the Dow Jones Stock Market and similar plunges worldwide? How can you watch it without watching Fox News on the cable teevee? Go to this debate view-y thing! Weep a lot. Let’s go. (PS: The video of this crowd of jackals booing a veteran soldier who served in Iraq can be found at the bottom of this timeline of indignities.)

9:01 PM — Newt Gingrich is openly booed, the first boo of the night.
9:01 PM — And unknown spammer Gary Johnson from … what is he? A dope dealer from Mexico? Nobody knows. Welcome, Gary!
9:02 PM — Oh for god’s sake — or for DOG’s sake, apparently — the “bell sound” will instead tonight be the “bloink” sound of someone bothering you on G-chat. This is a gift from Google/Satan.
9:04 PM — Annnd, three minutes in, the Fox News video feed has failed and started over again from three minutes ago. Oh man.
9:05 PM — Rick Perry, speaking of his hell state that is actually on fire, and has no jobs at all, says with a smile is something about shoving something down his throat.
9:05 PM — Haha, there is a “google element” to this debate, in that each candidate will be asked about their top Google Search Queries. Let us hope that Santorum and Perry get this question, so that we can hear about poop-semen and how Rick Perry is gay.
9:07 PM — GAH, the Google “gloonk,” this will not be fun.
9:07 PM — Mitt Romney doesn’t want to start suddenly talking about who is rich, after he ridiculously called himself “middle class.”
9:08 PM — Michele Bachmann has bravely come out in favor of no federal taxes, and that the guy on YouTube and EVERYONE ELSE should keep every penny of every dollar they earn. No taxation! Fantastic!
9:11 PM — Dear Newt, how much will you enjoy taking everyone’s unemployment check, in your mind, so you can buy some new whore trinkets at Tiffany’s?
9:12 PM — Gingrich: It’s “fundamentally wrong” to let people laid off by American companies to get a little money for rent and food, after they’ve paid into the unemployment system for years or decades. MASSIVE APPLAUSE.
9:13 PM — Jon Huntsman, the Obama employee, is asked how he is different from the black socialist Obama as far as giving a zillion dollars to Chinese communists who made a solar panel.
9:15 PM — The Fox News ulcer does not care for this! But he loves, as does the audience, pizza man’s 9 pizzas for 9 dollars plan.
9:17 PM — Doctor Ron Paul is very excited about these 10th amendment fetishists and their YouTube channel. The fella has a pantyhose on his head or something! The crowd in Tampa digs this mightily. Ron Paul, as president, will veto everything, stop those schools, we’re coming BACK (to Somalia).
9:19 PM — Gary Johnson, finally getting a chance to appear on a debate, is “not going to presume to tell anyone” why he should be president, or even why he is a “better libertarian nut” than Ron Paul. One thing about these libertarian candidates, they drip charisma.
9:21 PM — Using YouTube somehow, Fox News has ascertained that the people watching this debate ALL believe anyone making a million dollars is officially rich. And a majority of these people say it’s $500,000 household income, we think. It is hard to tell exactly because the people on Fox News are all millionaires, and they are paid to make numbers and math very confusing so that the poor people watching Fox News think the rich people on Fox News are somehow “on their side.”
9:23 PM — The Paultards are winning this debate on YouTube.
9:24 PM — Oh, Wonkette Operatives, please go to this Fox News Google YouTube thing and submit your questions and answers! Make Herman Cain president of Newt Gingrich’s poop-pizza shop, in their minds! The video stream actually, uh, works here, too!
9:25 PM — Also, you can type gibberish in the “Have Your Say” box. We just typed this:

why is rick perry not in texas fighting the fires? he expect obama fed to violate constitution and do it FOR state rights?

9:26 PM — Speaking of Governor Perry, how will he run his 50-state social security fuckup? Rick Perry wants old Republicans to know he’s not talking about them.
9:27 PM — Oh, it’s time for the snit between Rick and Mitt. We have sat in bars in the Castro and seen this exact scene between two bickering old queens so many times, this is like deja vu.
9:28 PM — Rick Perry saves his most whiny sneer for saying the word “books,” and then reads his oppo research out loud about Romney changing a line from the hardcover book to the paperback. (Romney took out the Romneycare part for the unread/unbought paperback version of his unread/unbought hardcover.)
9:30 PM — All these sociopaths love to throw around “Obama is a socialist.” This gets great booing, we guess against the idea of “socialism.” Mitt Romney wants to split (dyed black) hairs here, and say that what he thinks is that Obama is like other Western leaders, in that they are capitalist-socialist-democrat places. Nice job not going for the “he’s a socialist” thing, Mitt. (Mitt just wanted to use his scripted line about how he “didn’t inhale,” which we guess is a “current events joke” to these people.
9:32 PM — Annnnd …. Jon Huntsman is the first to use the magic words “Ronald Reagan” tonight, which doesn’t change that Jon Huntsman’s last job was working for President Barack Obama.
9:34 PM — Herman Cain is back on the Chilean Pizza Ponzi scheme, whatever that is.
9:35 PM — Newt Gingrich is going to solve the spending thing the same way he solved everything else: buy followers on Twitter and buy whore diamond trinkets for his new mistresses from Tiffany, without paying interest on his credit card.
9:36 PM — But Newt Gingrich will not answer a question about what to do with the economy tonight, at the GOP debate. Instead, he will answer this question next Thursday. Uhh.
9:37 PM — Anybody remember the first YouTube debate, years ago, when the melting snowman asked a question in a creepy voice?
9:38 PM — Gary Johnson is going to destroy the federal Department of Education and give the money to “fifty labs” somewhere, we guess to make Zombies?
9:39 PM — Sperm-feces man, Rick Santorum, wants parents to know that as “customers” of education, they are actually responsible for doing all the education.
9:40 PM — Rick “Eh words?” Perry has run out of soundbites written on his hands, in mascara. But he’s got one “Well whatever y’all but Mitt Romney’s a bitch.”
9:41 PM — Romney stammers and coughs when asked if Perry said anything untrue about Romney. This is apparently about some Obama/Bush “race to the top” something or other. No boos, no cheers, nobody knows what anyone else is talking about. Let’s get back to cheering the death of unemployed people outside the barbed-wire gates of the hospitals!
9:45 PM — The white olds watching this debate LOVE the new “bell sound” because they are not familiar with the gchat and the ‘puters so much.
9:45 PM — Michele Bachmann is going to build a massive wall along the “Southern Border,” which we guess is the Mason-Dixon Line? We’re good with that.
9:48 PM — Newt Gingrich, who doesn’t have to pay interest on his credit cards, thinks there is no such thing as credit card fraud. He also believes the language of the federal government is something other than English. Klingon?
9:48 PM — More Perry-Romney liberal jello wrestling. Romney “just can’t follow” the argument.
9:49 PM — Rick Perry gives every illegal Mexican alien $100,000 of taxpayer money, for free! He is a super liberal Mexi-socialist!
9:51 PM — Rick Perry is also a stern gay waiter at a fancy country club restaurant, isn’t he?
9:53 PM — Wild booing, nobody knows why, Santorum boldly interrupts himself so he can say that nobody will get any help, ever, for education, whether Mexican or White American. But illegals are welcome to cross our border and sex our schoolchildren at college, in Texas.
9:55 PM — Okay everybody, have fun! We are going to cook dinner now and disconnect the Internet again, to make America secure.
And finally, here’s the GOP audience booing a gay soldier who served in Iraq:

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 530 comments }

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Newtie, BOOED? ZOMG, someone hold me, there is HOPE!

Sparky_McGruff September 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

They weren't booing… They were just chanting NEWWWWT! NEWWWT! No, nevermind. They were definitely booing.

HalluxValgus September 22, 2011 at 9:04 pm

what the hell does tort reform have to do with that guy's hardware store or whatever?

Come here a minute September 22, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Grillparzer Torte? Yummy!

Tommmcattt September 22, 2011 at 9:04 pm

It would have been nice to be there, I suppose, to boo ol' Newty myself.

I will do it from my chair, right here. BOO! BOOO!

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:05 pm

OT, but: Kirsten's free tonite? Excuse me while I go shave my balls… just in case, you know

Barb September 22, 2011 at 9:09 pm

What woman could resist that offer? Shorn testicles and all!

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:14 pm

You are so awesome this week.

Barb September 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Love ya, Lizzie!

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Hi Baby!

Barb September 22, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Mama is about to get her drink-on here. What's up with you?

natoslug September 22, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Hah! I already took care of that this morning. Of course, I've been hacking up a lung or two all day, so I doubt she'd want to get close enough to me to see the shaving. That, and being sick, it kind of smells like I've strapped a pair of 6-days-dead possums under my armpits.

Barb September 22, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Nato, you just turned my head away from the guy with the bald tezzies, thanks!

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:49 pm

I just want to know how you found out what 6-days-dead possums strapped under your armpits smell like.

No, really. I know I'm going to regret it, but I still want to know.

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

You shaved your balls with a chest cough? Either you have the worlds greatest safety razor or you have the scrotal sack of a rhino

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:06 pm

And there they go.
Perry is off first.
Mittens commin a close 2nd.
Bachmann is tralin by fourty lenghts. But here comes Cain.
Riddin the rail.

WhatTheHeck September 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I'm hedging my bets, but I think Horse's Ass wins this one by an ass length..

Barrelhse September 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

The race is on and it looks like Heartaches
And the winner loses all.

ChessieNefercat September 23, 2011 at 8:10 am

And it's Girdle in the stretch!

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Also why is Mittens talking so fast? Did he get into Shelly's pill stash?

x111e7thst September 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Clearly the Repubnikkkan Party needs a savior .Perhaps Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani KBE. Lets say so anyway.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Or let's not, and pretend we did.

prommie September 23, 2011 at 10:37 am

But our precious constitutions, it says no titles or ranks of nobility, what is this KBE shit? And since when is the queen ever gonna knight a Roman Papish Catholic wog dago, is what I want to know?

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Haha Megyn thinks this is a real debate. The human cube Brett Baier is just phoning it in

imissopus September 22, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Ooooo, asking the important questions tonight, I see. Governor Perry! Governor Perry! Please list your five favorite Twitter hashtags!

OurHoboSenator September 22, 2011 at 9:09 pm

One L just said taxes should be zero?

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 7:51 am

That's what I heard. Then she said "except for what jackbooted government goons tear from your miserable aching hands so the Koch Brothers can still create slave jobs in the caviar industry somewhere". At least that's what I heard her say.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha. Nobody pays taxes.
Love you Michelle.
But how you gonna get paid?

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:39 pm

ooops

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

And we pay for our million service member military how? Even if you charge $40,000 for green card applications (admit it, Michele, that's part of your plan) you'll still be a trillion or more short each year.

trampndirtdown September 23, 2011 at 10:03 am

Giving new meaning to to All Volunteer Army.

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Haha did you see ass-froth's face when Megyn said Google?

mayor_quimby September 22, 2011 at 9:25 pm

His sphincter tightened up more, if that's possible.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Have they asked him yet what his favourite Google search is?

starfanglednut September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

santorum.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I just want to hear him say it.

OurHoboSenator September 22, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Yates Wilburn is an excellent porn name

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Rick, you do know that GQQgle is a part of this debate.
Right?

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Does Newt Gingrich realize that paying people unemployment and paying for their training classes is going to cost twice as much?

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 7:53 am

I wondered that myself. Newt is the "smartest man in the Repubican Party" so I recklessly assume he knows arithmetic.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 7:57 am

Since Newty is "fundamentally opposed to paying people to do nothing", he is also:

fundamentally opposed to Social Security
fundamentally opposed to TP Repubicans in Congress getting paid
fundamentally opposed to paying firefighters except when at an actual fire
fundamentally opposed to kids having a NSA allowance

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:12 pm

What's Santorum's opening sentence this evening? "I think the most important area that we have to focus in on — "
Okay, thank you, please stop. He then goes on to say that union members make too much money and is cheered.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm

SorosBot, if you're there–is this FOX anchor the same one who does not like Mittens?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Newt Gingrich recommends replacing unemployment with indentured servitude. With a whip or without?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Newt proudly rails against his own success: "People should not get money for doing nothing."

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm

So, like those people who bought AFLAC or other insurance against unexpected catastrophe [AFLAC!] should have the money taken away from them if the catastrophe occurs? Seems a bit government-interferency, wouldn't you say?

Ah, you're not saying that. THEN WHY THE FUCK SHOULD PEOPLE WHO PAID INTO UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE NOT GET IT YOU BUNGHOLE!

Sorry guys. Something about that smug deathbed-wife-leaving douchebag makes me hate him even more than the others. And given how much I hate Santorum, that's saying something.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Until they all admit they are aliens sent here to harvest our brains, I simply refuse to watch a GOP debate.

Although, if in celebration of being on FOX, they simply cover each other with falafel and then loofa it off, I might change my mind.

Texan_Bulldog September 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Really? You want to see Newt naked?

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm

When you put it that way … (digs eyeballs out with a spoon)

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 9:33 pm

No, but can you think of a better way of celebrating the repeal of DADT? Plus, hell, it is FOX: If the Sex Ain't Kinky, It Ain't Fair and Balanced!

starfanglednut September 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Why do you hate falafel?

HempDogbane September 23, 2011 at 12:17 am

Finally someone uses falafel and loofah correctly in a sentence. O'Reilly should have written this 100x on Beck's blackboard.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Jon thinks the divisions within the US are unprecedented? Where was he in 2000? Bush – Gore, Huntsman?

Texan_Bulldog September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Guess he hasn't heard of a little thing called THE CIVIL WAR!

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Somehow I have a feeling that there were divisions during the 1860s that were more serious. And when the United Empire Loyalists were tarred and feathered and chased out of the country after the revolution – more serious. And when entire states threatened massive disobedience to federal law rather than let some black kids go to the state universities? More serious. I could go on….

And Huntsman is "the thoughtful one". Do any of these people think for more than a fraction of a second about anything they say? (Don't answer – rhetorical question.)

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm

I like how this debate asks questions of individuals from left to right across the stage, in the order they were introduced. Guaranteeing that their audience will be hypnotized, bored or have changed the channel by the time Gary Johnson gets his first questions.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Here we go with Cain and the reverse 666 plan…

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Oh how do I love Herman Caine and his "999" plan, he is delicious.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Was that once a pizza pricing plan at Godfather's? 9.99 Get two nasty tasting pizzas.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 7:59 am

If you love that, you'll love Michele Bachmann's 0-0-0 plan.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2011 at 9:28 am

That's funny – I'd thought you were more of a "69" plan fan…

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 9:32 am

Cheeky!

rocktonsam September 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm

not watching.

its easier watching planes fly into buildings for hours and hours

bull shit

YeOldeFapSmith September 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Douchetard moderator Chris Wallace has the most punchable face of anyone on Earth.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

However, Wonkerati prefer nut-punching to face-punching, or so I gather.

In the event, I wonder how punchable his nuts are?

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Donkey punch?

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I could find it in my heart to do that to him. Even if it is dangerous.

sati_demise September 22, 2011 at 11:00 pm

So true. you just want to smack that smirk off his face

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 8:00 am

More so than "torture is okie dokie" Cheney?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Maybe just a smidge less.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

WTF with the yellow ties? Are they supposed to suggest unity, as opposed to red or blue? Ick.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Matches the streaks down their backs when called for military service.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

No shit. All members in good standing of the 101st Chairborne. Fucking chickenhawks.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 9:45 am

Ron Paul was in the military. But non-combat, which we know does not count after the heckling that Al Gore got for his service.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 10:17 am

Also John Kerry, who apparently proved that a Bronze Star, a Silver Star and 3 Purple Hearts don't mean much of anything.

But kinda-sorta being in the Texas ANG (when you feel like showing up) definitely counts as serving your country.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 10:28 am

Well, this is the same party that counted McCain's service to the North Vietnamese.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2011 at 9:29 am

Are all their calendars broken? A yellow tie after Labor Day?

Please!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Mittens says middle income families are the most hurt in this economy. He should know, since he's middle class too…

OurHoboSenator September 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Sitting in a hotel in Cleveland with possible food poisoning watching this debate. Someone promise me this is the lowest point in my life….

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Depends on if any of these assholes get elected.

AJWjr. September 22, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Any of 'em get elected and I'm leaving. This time I mean it, you guys.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Be a dear and hold the door for me–I'll be right behind you.

AJWjr. September 22, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Texan_Bulldog September 22, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I'm going to say that it has to be in the top 3. Cleveland, food poisoning & the GOP debate…Oy!

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Wasn't there a rerun of Real Housewives of San Angelo Texas on?

bagofmice September 22, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Just make sure you get a hotel room small enough that you can reach the sink and toilet at the same time. Ah, San Francisco.

mayor_quimby September 22, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Ahhh, fond memories of a shitty ramada in dallas, next to that stupid factory, after getting food poisoning on the first day of a new job. I miss you, E. Coli!

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

oh i'm so sorry my boy just came home with a bad bout of food poisoning.

i would not let him watch.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

I'd love to, but there's a debate or two scheduled per week for the next umpty-umpteen weeks, dear lad.

user-of-owls September 23, 2011 at 12:12 am

Just a few points:

–It could be a homeless shelter in Detroit;
–and you could have dengue;
–and you could be watching the inauguration of one of those nine.

Um, does that help? A little maybe?

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 3:35 am

Cleveland's slogan is "At least we're not Detroit!" So, yeah, things could have been worse, and I say it as a Detroiter.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2011 at 10:06 am

OHS:

Im certainly sorry to read that you're in Cleveland.

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 10:25 am
Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Uh oh, Ron Paul is talking, be still my beating heart.

BarackMyWorld September 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

This is the worst episode of "30 Rock" ever. How are there so many Alec Baldwins on stage? Tracy Morgan looks weird as an old white man, but he hasn't lost his touch for wacky dialogue… Is that dark haired woman Jenna or Kenneth? Is that fat guy with the white hair Lutz? The way he's getting booed, I'd say so… Too bad Tina Fey's on maternity leave.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:43 pm

I can't get over Newtie being booed. I follow him on FB, and do my best to annoy, but he routinely gets 40 or more Likes and comments from what appear to be enthusiastic fans. This is great. Maybe he'll drop out next.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:18 pm

"Restore" the 10th Amendment? WTF? Where did it go? Did I miss where it was repealed?

Texan_Bulldog September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

It's like when the evangelicals ask you if you've 'found God/Jesus'? If you reply "I didn't know he was lost" they will leave you alone.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I love the bumper sticker that says, "I found Jesus, he was behind the couch the whole time"

imissopus September 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm

My all-time favorite: "God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."

starfanglednut September 23, 2011 at 1:09 am

Seen at a gay pride parade:"Jesus Hates Me"

mayor_quimby September 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm

What, don't you have a federal soldier quartered in your house? Lucky you…

glamourdammerung September 22, 2011 at 11:32 pm

"Restoring the 10th Amendment" = secession. Frankly, I wish the Democrats would pass legislation to allow states to opt out of all this socialism in exchange for removing all federal funding to those states. All those "rugged individualists" could do some of that bootstrap pulling or whatever they call it these days.

user-of-owls September 22, 2011 at 11:58 pm

bootstrap pulling or whatever they call it these days.

Yeah, I'm not sure what the current hipster term for masturbation either.

BerkeleyBear September 23, 2011 at 1:20 am

Nope, at most you missed the nanosecond between when it was passed and the Supreme Court pointed out it really couldn't mean what nutjobs like these think it means (ie anything other than making sure there are no holes in the government's authority between the Feds and states).

WhatTheHeck September 22, 2011 at 9:18 pm

In the opening prayer, Did they execute anyone tonight, seeing as its Autumn Equinox and the Republican penchant for blood.

Angry_Marmot September 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Done, and done.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Oh, Marmot! Teeth? Claws? Weapons?

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 6:33 am

No executions, they just booed a soldier CURRENTLY serving (more appropriately stated as "risking his life") in Iraq for asking a question about DADT. Santorum referred to his service as an "experiment in social engineering" of which he didn't approve. High point: Not one of the nine thanked him for his service. Are they even human?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm

No. Clearly they're not.

Fucking hypocritical flag-waving cocksuckers.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Heheheheh — Ron Paul would vote for bills as president the same way he votes for them as a congressman. I sometimes become afraid that he'll win something important just 'cause people think he's a hoot.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

"I promise to submit a balanced budget…" What does that remind me of? Oh yeah–
"I promise to pull out beforehand…"

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I promise not to come in your mouth.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Oh, so wrong. First of all, anyone who says that is a damn liar. Second, anyone who believes that has no idea how the human penis works. My line is better: "I'll bet you dinner I can last fifteen minutes." Everybody wins.

mayor_quimby September 22, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Brilliant, I have to use that one! The 25 year old girls ain't getting any smarter.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:16 pm

I'm stealing that.

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 9:56 pm

The check is in the mail.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

That beep to shut the candidates up sounds like a stomach gurgling.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Is Gary Johnson high?

mayor_quimby September 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm

of course he is. like all the time. He has edibles on him at all times.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Is there any reason he shouldn't be? lol

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:46 pm

That strikes me as the only sane way to get through one of these things.

MilwaukeeKent September 23, 2011 at 1:00 am

I thought he could have used a valium or two. He seemed a tad nervous with his debut. Did he pass the audition? Did Cowell scowl? Was this the new Fox reality show "America's Got Malice"? It's pretty obvious even this early that it's going to be a Perry-Romney ticket or a Romney-Perry ticket, but who's the top and who's the bottom? Maybe they can settle it with a duel, but my money's on a brokered convention.

prommie September 23, 2011 at 10:42 am

Like all libertarians, he is retarded. Think Ted Nugent. Brain Damaged, low functioning sociopaths, they become libertarians because they are too socially inept to become serial killers and too stupid to become IT professionals. Thats what I really think.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm

You're bringing back fond memories of an early UNIX sysadmin who must've had a shitload of guns in his office that was wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling UNIX boxes in various states of disrepair.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Wow — Gary Johnson's gonna submit a balanced budget in 2013. He's nuttier than Ron Paul.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Oh God, here comes the immigration – bashing…now, will someone bring up Rick Perry's jobs mostly going to immigrants, legal or not?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:24 pm

What freaks these people are. Everyone's going to slash taxes, cut regulations, eviscerate workers' rights, and basically impoverish the bottom 80% of the populace's ability to earn a living and have safe homes and work environments. And they're getting wild applause. And none of the Fox commenters are saying anything about how these ideas completely fly in the face of basic math. What the fuck?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 9:36 pm

"impoverish the bottom 80% of the populace"

They've done that already. I want to know what comes next.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Why, is it time to start harvesting?

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Well 9th grade math was hard, so they took political nonsense instead.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:25 pm

This FOX theme song sounds ominous. Appropriately so.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm

RIck Scott looks as if he is sitting on a large broomstick.

chascates September 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm

At least 2 people have to drop out of this Neanderthal FuckFest or I'm declaring shenanigans. If they continue to let in the senile, the spitting, the pathetic the media will easily coverup and create this predestined candidate, THE ONE!, who will continue the policies that made the 43rd administration such a wonder of the free market [I mean Perry here]
Will it take national-level candidates who wear a cooking pot for a hat or someone dressed as a color-blind golfer in full raiment to wake up the nation that most of these people are greedy, lying, LUNATICS!

tribbzthesquidz September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

I feel the same doom in the air today I felt in 2000. The Gathering Strom, if you will.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm

You olds don't have to worry about Perry cutting SocSec. Youngsters, on the other hand, can work forever…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Holy fuck, it's known corrupt leech and fraudster Rick Scott. Why don't they arrest that bastard if they know where he is?

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:27 pm

CATFIGHT

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Oooh, Mittens is accusing Perry of flip flopping. Takes one to know one…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Blondie: Rick Perry, how would fifty social security programs work?
Perry: Nobody's losing their soshsecurity. I never said it was unconstitutional. Everything's fine with your sochsecurity. I never wrote what I put in my book.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

That dumb bastard probably hasn't read his book.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 10:43 am

"Soshsecurity." Brilliant.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

I worked* in four different states. Does my current home state** pick up the tab for my retirement? If so, I'm moving to Texas to bankrupt them under the Perzy Scheme.
______________________
* well … got a paycheck

** actually I currently live in Connecticut but work via computer for a company in Vermont on behalf of a company it owns in Texas but I'm paid by a Japanese-owned company headquartered in Massachusetts. Your move Ricky.

TheMightyHaltor September 23, 2011 at 11:42 am

You know who else was really from Connecticut but pretended he was from Texas?

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Er … Hitler?

This doesn't sound good at all.

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I leave a near 24 hour old thread and STILL miss Hitler. Next time Ima go with Hess for the nazi win.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm

"Speaking of books" got booed by this GOP audience. Not surprised.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Mitt Romney does the job Fox & Friends refuse to do.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:46 am

That would be a good title or the debate itself: "Fox & Friends".

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Did Perry just call Mittens "a bad mitten"?

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:37 pm

God, I hope so!

tribbzthesquidz September 22, 2011 at 9:29 pm

ASS WARFARE!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Here we go with the requisite and gratuitous (not to mention inaccurate) accusation that Obama is a socialist…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Okay so the big three just keep mentioning each others' names which means they each get a chance to respond which means they've basically trolljacked the debate. They can't even get through a fucking debate without logrolling. How the fuck do these idiots attain national office?

JackObin September 22, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Is this the best this country has to offer, this band of nitwits and misfits? It's fucking embarrassing.

Barrelhse September 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Boy, is MY face ever red!

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 10:58 pm

answer, no

Biel_ze_Bubba September 23, 2011 at 1:01 am

Well, it's the best the Republicans have to offer.

The Dems will probably come up with some Harvard-educated Constitutional scholar or something, just for the contrast.

Angry_Marmot September 23, 2011 at 3:25 am

The days of Warren G. Harding are long gone, my friend.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:48 am

My deadbeat brother-in-law (who gets paid by the VA to do nothing due to Vietnam war disability) is a nitwit and he's insulted by your remarks.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Mittens did not inhale. However, he did drink the kool aid…

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Are you blaming his dimnitude on oxygen deprivation?

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 9:31 pm

I've sometimes agreed with Mittens. But Mittens never agrees with Mittens.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Not two days running, anyway.

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Mittens is tweakin hard, he's starting to change color. Someone get that man one of Shelly's Xanax

Jukesgrrl September 23, 2011 at 6:37 am

And one of Boehner's tanning towels.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

OMG, a FOX anchor pointed out that 66% of Americans support raising taxes on the rich?
She is so fired…

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:49 pm

She will be sent to do news on Imus on Fox Business and never be heard from again.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

66% eh? Get Rasmussen on that right away. He'll bring that number down. Give him a couple of weeks and he'll be reporting 99% support for not only doing away with taxes on the rich altogether, but even giving them tax credits of $1 for every dollar earned over a million. Matching funds for job creators!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Didn't anyone tell her that everything is supposed to be reported as a percentage of Faux News addicts?

glamourdammerung September 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm

I think they just make them take Bill O'Reilly's calls as punishment anymore.

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

I feel like maybe we've covered this taxes thing b4.

natoslug September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Fuck it. I'm turning down the volume and cranking up the Bowie. These people are fucking worthless above ground.

[edit: Jon Huntsman yapping about taxed to Bowie's Heroes is just wrong. why the fuck do I still get sound from their video even with the volume icon crossed out?]

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 9:38 pm

There's no escaping right wing blather from Fox Noise. Get used to it.

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

this is an awesome idea only my sound track will be clash.

natoslug September 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I was going to use Suicidal Tendencies, but it looks like my wife went through my music collection again. All I wanted was a fucking pepsi! And for these people to shut the fuck up.

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Try some Antiflag

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

I always find that either of X's first two albums are good for scouring away the mental stains from Republican yammering. Billy Zoom to the rescue.

Mumbletypeg September 22, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Yes

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:11 pm

It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But the voters are yelling “No”
And Chris Wallace's face is like dough…

__kth__ September 22, 2011 at 11:24 pm

look at those cavemen go
it's the freakiest show

(didn't have to change anything!)

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:49 pm

And this crowd would just LOVE to watch the lawman beating up the wrong guy.

So there you have it: There IS life on Mars.*

* Loved the British show, the American version, not so much. Oh, but the music….

archikvetch September 23, 2011 at 1:15 am

We'll buy some drugs and watch a band
and jump in the river holding hands

just ugh

Dr_pangloss September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

My post to "Have your say"-How will you end the Bush/Obama illegal occupation of Iraq?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Cain is frothing at the mouth over eliminating a department.
And of course, he'll go for killing the environment.
EPA gone wild!

Dr_pangloss September 22, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Wow Huntsman actually answered the question instead of just saying "Cut taxes and I have a boner for 'Merica"

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Obviously unelectable.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Herman Cain: "abolish the EPA."

Yeah, that'll do wonders for the country.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Crowd goes wild! "We hate not breathing smog and having clean drinking water!"

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Gingrinch: you can't.
For once I agree: Gingrinch, you definitely can't…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Herman Cain recommends the Chilean model for social security — if fugitive nazis could build a perfect means of taking care of old people, shouldn't we give it some serious study?

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:19 pm

I'm not sure the part about "overthrow your democratically elected government and install a decades long regime of torture and murder of political opponents" is going to appeal to independent voters, however much the Tea Party may go for it.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:50 am

I've been to Chili's and just doubt the 20-somethings that run the place can provide for my retirement.

Chet Kincaid September 23, 2011 at 10:55 am

Put noted Chilean fast food and pharmaceuticals mogul Gustavo Fring in charge of the Food and Drug Administration!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Yes, let's go with the states' rights model for education. Let half the states utterly fail to educate kids…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Oh, Newt will be introducing Contract with America II — so for those of you who really cherish the term limits, tax cuts for the rich, tort reform and deregulation that Newt brought us the first time, this should be a great reprise.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:38 pm

This crowd must be the entire 20% of the US population that believes we should eliminate the government so Jesus can rule.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Ricky thinks the *parents* are the "customers" of education? What are the students, chopped liver? There goes the leadership of tomorrow…

Come here a minute September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

The students are the product. The customer is society. (SOCIALIZMZ!)

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm

What "leadership"? Zey are only reqvired to obey ze orderz.

Why don't these fuckers just break into a rousing rendition of Der Horst Wessel Lied?

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:53 am

Parents should remember they are raising the adult, not the child. Over in China or India or somewhere else in the world, there's a kid who's after another one of our knowledge-worker jobs.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

"Virtual school," Gingrinch? That's the term I used when I ditched class…

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Ron Paul is so annoying as are his uneducated minions.

prommie September 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

retardad minions

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Santorum: It's been parents' responsibility to educate their children "from the moment they were born." Which means Fetus Santorum has a bachelor's degree by now.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Except when the parents don't know shit, and you need to use professional teachers.

That's why we invented public education. (A minor detail that's totally lost on don't-know-shit teabagger parents.)

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Okay, let's have a spelling bee. We'll see whose kids are educated.

bagofmice September 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Let's just compare the spelling on factional signs.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Rick Perry has that fucking stupid collar on again.

Nostrildamus September 23, 2011 at 12:35 am

I'm not watching. Does is have spikes and a leash? If so, I might tune in.

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Fuck it im out of booze and bleeding from the ears I gotta turn this shit off: i can get the same effect by watching 2 girls 1 cup and then I don't have to stare at Newt Gingrich's fucking face.

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm

If they don't quit having weekly debates I'm going to have to check in to Schick Shadle.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm

You're watching "Eight Republicans One Cup."

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Oooh, Perry is slapping Mittens down again…God forbid we should race to the top…

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Rick Perry believes in the right to choose… whether or not your kid attends a school with minorities.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Oh – oh. If the Asians all go to their own school, who will my kid copy off of?

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Fuck, I'm stoned. Does anyone else keep thinking they're getting a message when that thing beeps? No, not a message from god. Fuck, I'm not THAT stoned.

natoslug September 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm

That explains why I can't figure out which tab I had chat going on in. Fuck me.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:00 pm

I wouldn't know, I'm pretty fucking stoned myself.

TanzbodenKoenig September 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Yes, but I'm also stoned…

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:54 am

Stoned? Perhaps Sharia Law is not as harsh as we think. Stoned to death doesn't sound that bad.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Ron Paul: Leave the children behind!
Gary Johnsons: But we could cook them and eat them later!

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Romney: We need to get the Federal government out of education. Specifically, out of Brown v. Board of Education.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:00 pm

That is what they mean, after all.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 11:07 pm

I know … they're giving books to kids! Can you imagine?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Here we go with Shelly's brood…

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Uh oh one-L is talking about her overactive womb again.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 10:55 am

Her womb says "yes yes", but her husband says "no no".

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Cain: cut the strings.
Well, I guess that's one kink that one Reep is not into…

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Huntsman has *7* kids? JFC, how many kids do these Reeps have? Is birth control immoral now too?

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:02 pm

He's a Mormon. They believe in spawning without end — gotta populate those planets the Mormon God will give 'em when they die, yaknow, where their multiple wives will be eternally pregnant.

Two of his kids are adopted, though. I believe one little girl from China, and one from India.

SayItWithWookies September 23, 2011 at 12:52 am

You have a lot of planets — someone's gotta paint them.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 11:04 am

The adoption thing is true. Adopting a girl from China is practically a cliché.
http://www.storycorner.us/2011/05/finding-zhen/

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 7:25 pm

He gets a little black baby from Malawi and he has the Madonna-Jolie collectors set. Like Pokemon, gotta' catch 'em all!

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Yes.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 7:58 am

Are they all with the same wife?

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Those eyes, those scary, scary eyes.
Bachmann is the void I fear.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Again with this canard that the Feds are not supporting immigration laws. Never mind that under Obama, deportations are *up* even as immigration has *declined* thanks to the economy…

jakegittes September 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Please dispense with facts. They get in the way of the race baiting.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Facts, repulsive to republicans since 1981.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm

KILL ALL BROWN PEOPLE 2012!

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Build the dang fence!

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm

With the bones of illegal immigrants!

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Michele Bachmann: I will build a fence on every inch of the border. It will be as impervious as the fence that protects me from facts.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Actually, struggling US workers are competing with *corporate CEOs*, who are engaging in short – sighted cost – cutting that is eliminating their jobs…

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Didn't Georgia boot out a bunch of illegal immigrant farm workers and then Vidalia onions rotted in the field? I guess Americans weren't competing for those jobs.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

They lost a shitload of money from crops rotting in the fields. These fucking anti-immigration cretins don't realize that it takes a certain skillset – low-level and poorly-paid, to be sure, but a skillset nonetheless – to harvest their fucking crops. Moreover, the fact that it's unglamorous fucking stoop labour in horrible conditions escapes them. They really think American workers, who might be carrying tens of thousands in debt from school loans, mortgages, and medical bills, can AFFORD to do this kind of labour without a guarantee of health insurance and workers' comp (neither of which apply to farm labour).

They're beyond stupid. The only people who applied for the jobs were people who were basically unemployable — alcoholics, drug addicts, people with mental health issues. And of course, they didn't stay long.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 22, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Weren't there enough prisoners to go around?

I thought they were keen on solving that problem — and then they went and offed one of 'em. The lack of consistency is worrying.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:35 pm

They were using probationers, not prisoners, presumably because of the greater expense of guarding prisoners. The probationers, being regular Americans (i.e., overweight and pretty out of shape) didn't last long in the hot sun and under the workload.

What ignorami on the other end of the food chain don't realize is that when crops have to be picked, they usually have to be picked *immediately.* Within a day or two of peak ripeness, a field of squash or tomatoes can go from perfect to inedible. Americans, who tend to buy their food already prepared to some extent (whether as fast-food, canned, or whatever) tend not to realize this.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Ginger speaks.
Outsouce it all.
Yeah baby….
Wait . isn't that why we got in this position to begin with?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Oh good–back to the Mittens – Perry bitchslap.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

What about the Northern fence? Keep Socialism frozen out!

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 9:49 pm

ok yeah i listened to exactly one question and one answer and that's all i can do.

and shelley, newt? NO ONE IS FUCKING CROSSING OUR BORDER ANYMORE B/C WE HAVE NO FUCKING JOBS.

rock the casbah, rock the casbah.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Newt favors English as the official language of government — just not of the Republican party.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Mittens: like Michele Bachmann said.
Oh God, don't tell me he's considering her for Veep…

chascates September 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

HOLY SHIT! I'm sorry: I;m drunk and high. What about the 9 pizzasfor 9 dollars1 DO THEY DELIVER!!11

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 9:51 pm

RIGHT WING DEATH SQUADS. RIGHT WING DEATH SQUADS. RIGHT WING DEATH SQUADS. RIGHT WING DEATH SQUADS. RIGHT WING DEATH SQUADS. There. The answer to 5 questions: 1) What to do about crime in Amurika, 2) What to do about joblessness in Amurika, 3) What to do about terrorism in Amurika, 4) What to do about abortion in Amurika, and 5) what to do about over-regulation/ bureaucracy in Amurika.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Damned straight. And the death squads should consist of specially trained Chupacabras.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Ha-ha, trick question! You left out "What to do about healthcare in America" and "What to do about illegal immigration in America."

Not to mention "What to do about Unitarian-Universalists in Knoxville TN and gay 21 year olds in Laramie WY," in the nostalgia round.

Ducksworthy September 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Pinoche made it work for social security too.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Walker: Elite Texas Ranger Border Patrol Agent

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Perry writing down.
"Execute Wallace next :) "

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm

I'm rethinking my opposition to capitol punishment.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Why is Romney complaining that anchor babies get to pay in-state tuition in Texas while out of state students have to pay a hundred grand more? Nobody in their right mind would pay a hundred thousand dollars to spend four years in Texas, so they might as well let Texas have 'em.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Remember that some of those people are coming from Mississippi or Arkansas. Even Texas looks good from that perspective.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Perry spent $400M in taxpayer money? Doesn't that socialist know that money belongs to those who worked for it and earned it? If people want border security, let them pay a private contractor for it…

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Santorum butts in!

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

That sounds disgusting.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

I hope they use my question: Which of you is going to take it to the next level and pledge to start executing the illegals? Why coddle them by letting them live?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Rick Perry shows a shred of humanity. Boos ensue.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Perry? Jezus, he must be drunk.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

I just couldn't bring myself to watch this horseshit being flung around. I have to work tomorrow and the amount of alcohol needed would have made that impossible.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Ricky: Perry is soft.
Oh my…could it be that Santorum does not take rejection well? Just sayin'…

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Perry is burning worse then Texas.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Oooh, Santorum wants to get in on the Romney – Perry catfight…

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Isn't putting aviation assets on the ground an oxymoron? But I guess Rick Perry is an oxymoron.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Some kinda moron, anyway.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Can't resist…
All of 'em, Katie…

Jim Newell September 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm

From the debate notes:

k-lo thinks 'did not inhale' line was funny — see tweet

'class warfare and bureaucratic socialism" — newt

gary johnson is gay just listen

romney: perry's in bed w/ the mexicans — sends them to college — is a magnet for mexis

Come here a minute September 23, 2011 at 10:02 am

Is this guy really still slumming around here? RELEASE THE BANHAMMER!

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Santorum: Rick Perry is a secret Mexican. Does Rick Perry now identify with Barack Obama?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:56 pm

So, Paul thinks dollars are people now, people who want to leave the US? Oh yeah, that makes all kinds of sense…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 9:56 pm

It's not working. Oh, sure, illegal immigration is way down, but there's still brown people and I still have to hear "para coninuar in espanol, something ocho"

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:09 pm

"marque"

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Jesus, Ron Paul is like a horrifying marionette doll

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:57 pm

WTF is Google partnering with FOX in the first place?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Ron Paul: The fence will prevent huge banks and multinational corporations from sending money overseas. The government radio-tags your goldfish! The television is secretly recording your brainwaves!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm

FAUX viewers want to cut the Dept of Education. I'll bet they don't even see the irony…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm

WE HATE EDUCATION!!!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:02 pm

♫ ♬ We don't need no education,
We don't need no mind control ♫ ♬

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 2:18 am

No dorks' orgasms in the classroom…

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm

We are going to cook dinner now and disconnect the Internet again, to make America secure

should i stay or should i go?

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:01 pm

two more again

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Oopsies. Didn't really intend to delete my comment about Googlie searches for frothy Santorum and "Rick Perry is gay"

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Mittens does not look happy to get a foreign policy question…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Wow, Fox news got Fred Willard to host this debate? That's a real heavy hitter.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Romney: I will show leadership by blindly approving of anything Israel decides to do.

Barrelhse September 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm

"fifty labs"- that's a lot of Alpo.

AJWjr. September 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

And poop.

Scottsdalian September 23, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Shovel-ready projects!

chascates September 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm

OK. People = Incredible, Government = Horrible Alien Soul Sucker. But elect ME and I'll change everything because I'm just like you.

I'm not sold but I'm afraid a lot of people will be.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

I will personally fellate every member of the Knesset. Will any of my competitors in this debate make this pledge?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Herman Cain: "When I was in Israel last month…"
At thte Glenn Beck rally, Herman. Remember?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Yeah…if the US had beat down the Palestinians, they might not have pursued statehood. Because standing shoulder to shoulder with Israel has shut them up all these years…

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Herman, say what you want.
You won't win.
Your blacker then Obama.
We know how they feel about that.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Stop that, you're gonna hurt his feelings! He doesn't know!

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

OT that excellent and super-smart man Eric Michael Dyson is hosting the Ed Show tonight.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Perry wants to sell upgraded F – 16's to Taiwan? Kiss the Chinese life support for what's left of the American economy goodbye…

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

We don't have a relationship with India??!?

HistoriCat September 23, 2011 at 10:14 am

It was just a casual encounter. It didn't mean anything – honest!

Doktor Zoom September 23, 2011 at 10:23 am

I did NOT have diplomatic relations with that country.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

We met India on Craigslist?

HistoriCat September 23, 2011 at 11:10 pm

It wasn't like that! There was all that work at the UN and one night it got late, we were both hungry, India knew of a place around the corner. OK, we had a few drinks but I don't want to make it sound like the US is blaming the alcohol.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Perry: "Haqqani — that's the terrorist group directly related to the — the Pakistani country."
Fuck I'm having flashbacks.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Oh my fucking god.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Ricky: we'll stay in Iraq until they learn how to behave themselves. Sorry, fourth – time deployees…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Santorum: We should stay in Iraq. Just so you know, Republicans.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Only by strengthening our allies in India and Taiwan can we hope to secure Pakistan's nukes.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Wuh?

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm

You'll have to ask whoeverthefuckitwas. Mittens? Not sure.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Butch does not understand the concept of foreign aid as a bribe: We'll pay you if you'll just hate us less…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:10 pm

We need to cut all foreign aid. And then, we can start doing something about the remaining 99.8% of the budget.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I have just put some Whitestrips on my teeth, I may as well beautify if I am going to watch these cunts.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Newt: Giving money from government to government is a waste. We should be giving foreign aid to US corporations to exploit other nations instead.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Gary Johnson: the biggest threat to our national security is that we are bankrupt…I'll cut military spending.
As if he weren't before, he is officially toast. The MIC won't tolerate that much common sense…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm

This world faces the risk of becoming dramatically dangerous soon.

For instance, one of these assholes could become preznit.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Huntsman: our core is broken.
I gather that he will go into personal training after this gig?

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Barb, my mummy never smelled like that, never! Actually, she rather smelled of milk and honey and warm bread, and sometimes, perfume. But not like dead possums.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Excuse me, Brett? I would like to pretend that my candidacy still matters.

Thank you, Congresswoman Bachmann

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Must be getting too drunk.
Huntsmans making sense.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:15 pm

aha…we're not ALLOWING the troops to win. I've heard that somewhere.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Yes, it's an old favorite. Going back to the "Stab in the Back theory" of Germany's loss in WW I.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:15 pm

One-L just lost the Jews.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

What did she say?

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 6:59 am

Separation of religion isn't in the Constitution.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Thanks. She's obviously insane.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

for guys who want to cut, they sure want to spend a lot of money on fences and troops and such.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Those don't cost money. In exactly the same way that the government never creates jobs.

mumbly_joe September 23, 2011 at 12:51 am

Just not the gay ones.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Shelly, exercise your faith on your time and I'll exercise my spiritual beliefs on *mine*…

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

This is fucking pitiful. Not so much the debate, but that I keep watching them.

Huntsman is on one of his realistic moments, which is always good.

Fuck, the crowd is booing a gay serviceman for daring to ask a question. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

No sex whatsoever in the military. That gay soldier was totally hot btw.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

HaHA!~

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

DIE, those of you who booed the gay solider.
Gay soldier: thank you for your service.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Thank you, Callyson.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Um. If Michele Bachmann says Thomas Jefferson's name, shouldn't her tongue explode in flames?

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

What fucking special fucking privilege?!?!?!!!!?!!!!!???????? Fuck you. Fuck. You. You. Fucking. Frothy. Asswipe. Fuck. You.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Well, you know. The special privilege of being allowed to live despite being gay which is so terribly frowned on in the New Testament that it has yet to be found in the pages thereof.

I think I'll spend half an hour tonight googling and posting http://www.spreadingsantorum.com all over the InterNetz.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Stop asking Santorum questions. For the love of god stop allowing him to these debates.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Didn't see that one cummi'n did you?
Homophobes.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we saw the audience boo the troops.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Yeah, but "Support the Troops."

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Just not those troops.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

He could have ripped their heads off with one hand. I wonder if these fuckwits have a clue how many gay people serve.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Did Ricky have the guts to serve in the military? Who is he to criticize those who are serving because of their sexual orientatio­n?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Rick Santorum: I don't even want to think about hot Marines in a foxhole in the hot, sultry desert, stripped naked to the waist, sweating in the relentless heat of the sun…

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:55 pm

… their muscles gleaming, the thrust of their boyish hips, their tight, tanned pecs …

and that's where he usually has to leave for the restroom.

SheriffRoscoe September 22, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Rick Santorum demonstrates, again, why he has that Google problem.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm

That neologism will outlive him, and all his children will change their name as adults, just to get away from it.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 11:22 pm

"Dad, I am no longer Rick Santorum, Jr. I couldn't bear the constant humiliation of being associated with that word. From now on you can call me Dick Uranus."

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Penis van Lesbian. (Dick van Dyke)

user-of-owls September 23, 2011 at 12:21 am

I was in the store today and saw this generic anti-fungal powder for men. Instead of going with something like KwikRelief or Scratch-No-More, the manufacturers simply named it (in huge bold letters: JOCK ITCH. Which, if you think about it, just eschews any adornment and puts things in plain black and white.

Which is why I think Santorum should wear a big old-fashioned dunce cap with GOOGLE PROBLEM written on it in huge bold letters.

not that Dewey September 23, 2011 at 8:19 am

While that's a capital idea for Santorum, it's a terrible idea from a pharmaceutical marketing perspective. Like Tylenol™ Headache, it sounds as though they're selling a big jar of the disease, rather than a treatment.

It's bad enough trying to buy generic clotrimazole, which EVERYONE KNOWS is used to treat yeast infections. I mean, how do you look the cashier in the eye while holding a big bottle of JOCK ITCH?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Why the hell should *anyone* care whether Perry and W get along or not? I mean, really, who gives a flying fuck?

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Remember the Alamo!

trampndirtdown September 22, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Who won?

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:20 pm

It's interesting how Ron Paul dances around every moral issue by framing it in terms of a states' rights vs. federal jurisdiction issue. You can excuse an awful lot of parochially evil thinking with that approach.

Ducksworthy September 24, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Which is why.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Cheering for Stage 4 cancer??

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:21 pm

"Obamacare­" – big.
"Afford" – small.
Speaks volumes about the Reeps' priorities­…

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Obamacare Kills.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Is Herman Cain communicating in morse code with his eyes?

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

So, he didn't die because he had insurance? Fucking moron.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:23 pm

What would you rather have? 100 poor fucks with families getting adequate healthcare to live or one pizza-loving CEO surviving cancer?! Like there's even a choice!

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 11:42 pm

I'll bet he didn't even give his delivery personnel health insurance. Oh that would be hilarious. Would any Wonkateers who have worked for Godfather's step forward……I didn't think so.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Look everybody, a word cloud! What does it mean? It's got lots of words in it. Look at that big one. Now back to Chris Wallace.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Isn't that cute? They clap for a cancer survivor, but they'd boo you got well under anything besides expensive private insurances.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

FUCK you, Cain!
My mom did not get her lung cancer diagnosis until less than a month before she died, thanks to not having health care. Shut up about Obamacare, you moron.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Chris, don't assume they're applauding Cain's survival. This bunch could very well be applauding cancer.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Fuck you, Cain, WHAT ABOUT THE PROFIT DRIVEN INSURANCE BUREAUCRATS???!?

AJWjr. September 22, 2011 at 10:23 pm

So, Ken leaving 1/2 hr ago didn't seem to hurt the level of discourse any!

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Oh, NOOOOOO!
Not Obumercare.
You tell em Herman how if you have the money you have a chance.
If not….too bad, so sad.

DerrickWildcat September 22, 2011 at 10:24 pm

What's the point of being filthy rich if the poors have the same access to healthcare that I do?

whiskeybaby September 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Nailed it

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Herman Cain wants bureaucrats out of healthcare. Bureaucrats like actuaries, accountants, economists, medical economists and all those other folks currently employed by his insurance company?

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Nice revealing your daughters disease as a prop (and it really not be relevant to the question), Hunstman.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Huntsman: we need affordable insurance policies.
Yes, and that failure is why we need to kick the private sector insurance companies to the curb…

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Oooh, back to Shelly on the sluts and nuts…I mean the HPV vaccine…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Vaccines kill!

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Polio, smallpox, H. Influenzae

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Huntsman wants to give states the ability to experiment with healthcare coverage. Remember, this wouldn't even be an issue if President Obama's much-critized and bemoaned (on both sides) healthcare plan hadn't gone through. It's a big fucking deal.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Perry is dying to interject here…look at that grin on his face…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:27 pm

vaccines cause retardation: not intended to be a factual statement.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Wallace: Michele Bachmann, do you stand by the assertion that HPV vaccine causes retardation?
Bachmann: Well, I don't have HPV, and look at me.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Perry: people who object to the vaccine are too stupid to know what opt – out means.
Audience: boos.
Mittens must be jumping for joy…

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Rick Perry FAIL. Whenever he answers questions concerning the vaccine, he just seems lost as to how to spin so that his crazy base will like it.

SheriffRoscoe September 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Michele Bachmann: I report, you decide.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Oooh, Perry gets the HPV vaccine question, and he's got a Checkers speech prepared.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Rick Perry is just dreadful in debates, he is so visibly uncomfortable.

Scottsdalian September 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Imagine him vs. Obama!

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Perry: I erred on the side of life and I will always err on the side of life. Except for innocent people on death row. Or firefighters. Or health insurance.

Radiotherapy® September 23, 2011 at 1:03 am

Or the 30,000 2nd Amendment Remedies every year.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm

The gummint has forced Texas to still have some Medicaid, which is why not everyone is rich.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Mittens: It's different than Obamacare. Obamacare puts someone between the patient and the physician.
No, actually, it's the insurance companies that do that, thanks to "managed care"…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Oh, Perry's failures in healthcare are the fault of the federal government tying his hands. Because he's got some realllllllly great ideas, and if only he wasn't prevented from enacting them, boyoboy, Texas would be the healthcare capital of the world. He'd be growing the planet's biggest leeches, for instance.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Germany? Market-based, private insurance. It's worked since the 1890's, bitches.

Mumbletypeg September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Just got here. . . Is Rick Perry drunk?

SheriffRoscoe September 22, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Not sure about Rick Perry, but I soon will be.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I've noticed that he always seems to run out of energy near the end of these things, less drunk, and more like he's going into a diabetic shock.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Too bad that as a Texan he doesn't have regular and affordable access to healthcare.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

If Romney would have said, "Perry, you were a Democrat first," dick….destruction.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Perry is fucking stupid. Just plain stupid. Mitt Romney is winning this…just like he won all of the other ones. Rick Perry what? Rick Perry who?

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Can anyone, even those of us watching, really claim to be winning anything? We're all losers here.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm

You are right. They are "Winning!" like Charlie Sheen.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Perry's losing it.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Perry: not an inch, sir…
…I'm much bigger than an inch, sir…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Perry: "Was it before he was before the program?" Shit, he even does the drunk Dubya dead-on.

Mumbletypeg September 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Mitt speaks truth! "Not a lot of reasons to elect the people on this stage…" His handlers must've hit the floor in apoplectic seizures at that one.

DerrickWildcat September 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Kee-rist, Perry makes Bush look like William Safire.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Why didn't Romney also point out Perry has NEVER worked in their precious private sector? I think they are just sitting on that one.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm

That guy with gout in this ad could use some Obamacare…

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Completely unrelated but that's the worst commercial ever. That beaker full of gout he has at the end is smaller but it's still looks like a fucking pain in the ass to carry around.

BTWBFDIMHO September 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Best blingee evar, and I'm not a big blingy fan.

iburl September 22, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Wait… where the fuck is Thaddeus McCooter?

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Sitting on the couch playing his guitar and watching the Kardashians.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Who?

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Who?

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Behind the lectern sucking Romney's dick. You didn't hear? He endorsed him, today…after having used his entire time in the race attacking him.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 11:00 pm

He quit before the debate.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

"Now, I'm not asking for your jobs plan here…"
…because I know no one on this stage has one…

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Sorry, gotta go.
More pressing matter.
Hockey games on.
Better than, Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm a better lair then you…Blah, Blah, stupid fuck, Blah, Blah……Blah!!!!!

I do have my priorities you know.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

No, Cain, we did not "slide" off the top of that hill: we were *pushed* down by the Party of No…

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

We're going back up the heel.

smashaduck September 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Oh, Cain. Did no one tell you? You were never gonna be invited to that shiny city.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Kill Obamacare because Obamacare kills.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Romney doesn't know where humans sit in their meager domiciles.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Shelly: get jobs by repealing Obamacare.
Yeah, that'll stop the increase in joblessness that started in *2008*…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Ohio Gov. Kasich said "For the first time in my life, I'm worried about this country" quotes Fred Willard in his question. Okay, like how does this compare to their criticism of Michelle Obama's stating that she's proud of America? They're jumping on this Kasich quote like it's the gospel. If their president isn't going to give the malaise speech they so dearly want, they'll damn well give it themselves.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Bachmann says the #1 reason companies aren't hiring is because of Obamacare? No, they're hoarding money and they can't get a decent rate on bonds.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Paul: government destroys jobs.
Except in Texas, where it plays a big role in creating the so – called Texas Miracle…

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm

1. Talking points
2. Talking points
3. Talking points
4. Talking points

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Zombie Reagan Jokes.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm

That's so sweet how they all still let Ron Paul speak. It's like at recess how every so often the real athletic kids would let me dribble it all the way down the court for a layup. Not too often though — they didn't want to lose.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Awww…the little kewpee doll just made a funny.

Mumbletypeg September 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Ricky quotes Reagan as bemoaning a trend of Americans who "didn't remember"… which Reagan surely exercised leadership in himself, no?

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Zinger. What a knee slapper.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Johnson:
Consumption tax: fair. Those poor people should not be able to buy food tax free.
Corporate tax: unfair. Those job creators need that money to develop more jobs that pay $10 per hour with no health care benefits…

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

"President Obama is the new King George III." Thank you Rick Santorum for that extremely fecal analysis.

AJWjr. September 22, 2011 at 10:46 pm

O/T, but a new episode of Archer is on FX now, another fox network.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:46 pm

*Final* round, thank God…

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm

NO ONE is going to answer the Veep Q…oops, Johnson did, to stand out from the crowd.
Johnson/Paul 2012!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Ricky: I'll pick a Veep who will do what I want.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Awww, Gingrinch does not want to hurt anyone's feelings. How touching.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Paul: I have no idea who I'll pick for Veep. What's a Veep?

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm

A 4-wheel drive Vette.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Perry wants to watch Gingrinch and Cain meet up. He'll pay to see that…

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Not just meet-up, hook-up. Even used the word "mate."

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Poor, stupid Rick (Perry).

El Pinche September 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

God im sick of it…and I haven't even watched one GOP debate as of yet.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Because El Pinche don't give a shit.

iburl September 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Middle Class Mitt, kissing ass again.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Glad to see that the FOX anchor understands what we really want to see. Back to the Mittens – Perry catfight!

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Perry wants to watch Cain & Gingrich mating.

I see.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

No, Shelly, W's ratings were lower than Obama's. Even now.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Umm…Shelly, did you forget Dubya's approval rating?

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Or Congress' approval rating.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Rick Perry hates gay marriage — except between Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich.

[Darth Vader raises arm] Noooooooooooooo!

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Cain is willing to give Perry his Cain – Gingrinch show.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Oh shit, Huntsman is talking smack.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Huntsman is hot for Cain in his yellow tie.

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Herman Cain, nein, nein, nein!

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm

He's like a German girl in Spring of '45.

user-of-owls September 22, 2011 at 11:42 pm

So, in other words, he can be bought with a chocolate bar and a pair of pantyhose?

Radiotherapy® September 23, 2011 at 12:55 am

Quit Russian to judgement.

Limeylizzie September 23, 2011 at 7:07 am

No, darling that's me.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 3:37 am

Too soon!

He's like Amy Winehouse at rehab.

Too soon?

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Praise the Lord, it's over. And no freaking way am I staying for the insipid FAUX News commentary…

iburl September 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Wow, that crowd was ready to leave quick. They must have known Krauthammer was about to speak. Could he be any more of a Nazi stereotype?

BarackMyWorld September 22, 2011 at 11:13 pm

ANIMALS WILL BE BRED UND SLAUGHTERED!!!

(You're making me want to watch "Dr. Strangelove" again…)

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Impossible to watch that too many times. My kiddo is 14, and probably about ready for it.

poncho_pilot September 23, 2011 at 3:20 am

everyone is deficient until they know at least half of the dialogue by heart.

"I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But i do say no more than ten to twenty million killed tops. Depending on the breaks."

cheetojeebus September 23, 2011 at 7:14 am

General Buck Turgidson, One of the great character names in film.

flamingpdog September 23, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Go for it. My oldest son watched it at about that age, and he lurved it!

user-of-owls September 23, 2011 at 12:05 am

Could he be any more of a Nazi stereotype?

Wait, now I'm confused. Wouldn't that make the crowd want to stay rather than leave quickly?

iburl September 23, 2011 at 12:25 am

Teabaggers were told by Rush Limbaugh that Hitler was a liberal, vegetarian, socialist.

Krauthammer can put events in perspective so that they fit nicely into the nakedly sadistic and brutally nihilistic world view of the FOX folks at home.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 7:47 am

Well, Hitler was publicly vegetarian. So if Rush said that, he was actually right in spite of himself.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 7:54 am

I think the joke is that they (conservatives) believe him to be liberal because he was a vegetarian and his party's name had "socialist" in it.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Between periods……..
I'm talking Hockey for Christ sake.

Do you know how hard it is to keep reading and Upfisting?
Hope you appreciate it you progressive bastards.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 11:58 pm

My Pens won…I should have followed your lead and tuned into the ice, rather than the hearts and minds of ice. Next time…

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Quick, someone tell Michele Bachmann that Mormonism causes AIDS and see if she'll repeat it on TV.

anonymousryan September 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm

How does Charles Krauthammer get to the studio without villagers chasing him with pitchforks and torches?

BarackMyWorld September 22, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Handicapped parking.

Angry_Marmot September 23, 2011 at 3:38 am

"Let's all go have some sponge cake, und a little vine, und… shit."

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 10:57 pm

You know, I have my own shovel-ready projects in mind, but they'd get me in trouble, because they'd require the digging of 6-foot plots…

Doktor Zoom September 22, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Huh. Perry, I think, is starting to look stupid even to teabaggers. Or actually, they don't mind stupid; they just don't think he hates illegals enough. So, OK, that's kind of a relief. Looks like we're back to frontrunner Mittens, who has the charisma of caffeinated Pawlenty.

flamingpdog September 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I just got home. Did I miss anything, darlings?

NorbertsRevenge September 22, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Here's a helpful condensed version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57vaKllPg7k

Callyson September 23, 2011 at 12:00 am

This about sums it up.

Warpde September 23, 2011 at 12:35 am

Well now, let's see….I got drunk…again.
Other then that…..?

sati_demise September 22, 2011 at 11:07 pm

"Mitt Romney wants to split (dyed black) hairs here, and say that what he thinks is that Obama is like other Western leaders, in that they are capitalist-socialist-democrat places. "

Now, Ken, you know Mitt is trying to tie Obama to Hitler here.

Wing nut speak can be hard to translate sometimes.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Is it time to wear the Goose step Boots?
They are getting a little tight.
Can I wear my T-keers?

subsum September 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Twats.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 11:45 pm

So what I got out of this was that the most divisive issue among Republicans is immigration. Maybe it's time for Obama to send Congress an immigration bill and — since the majority of Fox news viewers think some sort of amnesty is the best solution — use it to cut up the lockstep Republicans. If the big fight for the GOP nomination comes down to immigration, it could easily alienate half of the party regardless of who their candidate is.

BarackMyWorld September 23, 2011 at 1:33 am

I'm sure the fact that a LOT of Republicans supported the 2008 bail-out might be a close second, or any other issue that shows the divide between Libertarian and Wall Street Republicans.

Radiotherapy® September 23, 2011 at 2:07 am

Or, tebagger group #1 vs #2 vs #3 vs Republicans

natoslug September 22, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Those crafty Obama-ites — I wandered off during the debate for a while and the sneaky bastards called to beg for $200 from me. Must've known what the GOP debate was doing to my bp.

Warpde September 23, 2011 at 12:49 am

You know that if you keep on putting up those feel good pic's, what with the stars? and stripy thingy, what exactly is that stripy thingy shit anyway?
and…. what are those,..,.standing..,…,humans?
Really?
Fine then
I'm voting for the fuzzy guy.

Warpde September 23, 2011 at 12:58 am

Say goodnight Gracie.

Goodnight Gracie…….

102415 September 23, 2011 at 2:59 am

I just got here. It's mmmm 3:45. I skipped this bullshit. I ate a bag of candy instead and dressed the dolls at looklet . It was good. I watched Finian's Rainbow and a nasty white Senator got changed into Herman Cain the pizza guy and he sang a gospel song. Then he got turned back white and they put out the fire. I put pink socks on my model. The debates must be stopped they are just getting all the fucktards used to these nutty idears. The more people are exposed to a message the more they are likely to believe it. Look at how they are getting used to the idea of santorum all over everything. Good night.

finallyhappy September 23, 2011 at 8:24 am

I didn't watch. Why do they have these debates every week? Anyway, last night was the premiere of a new show with Jesus and Ben stealing the idea of Minority Report(sort of). Perhaps my explanation is as obscure as anything the GOP non candidates had to say. Ok, now I have to leave for my volunteer job- it does have benefits- I can use the computer and the bathroom. Also sometimes, there is free coffee(but not too often)

weejee September 23, 2011 at 8:35 am

Didn't watch either, played tennis instead. I know, I know, elitist frickin' game, but like the debates – serves & volleys.

proudgrampa September 23, 2011 at 8:56 am

Ken, thanks for that excellent summary. Glad I skipped the damn thing last night.

johnnyzhivago September 23, 2011 at 9:37 am

Why do Republicans hate the military so much?????????

El Pinche September 23, 2011 at 10:23 am

Gotta love those rightwing fuckos sitting there comfortably in an AC'd auditorium booing a soldier. Now I remember the real reason why I'm purposely missing these GOP debates.

BTWBFDIMHO September 23, 2011 at 10:28 am

She said zero taxes???!!! In other words, she wants to be a free-rider without paying for traffic lights, highways, national defense, police, schools, GPS, justice, clean air. Taxes are in the "Constitution", idiot.

102415 September 23, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Best of all she doesn't get paid and neither does her asswipe boss/husband.

DaRooster September 23, 2011 at 10:32 am

FYI-
If y'all don't hear from me for a while it is probably because I am back in jail… due to the fact that I am truly sick and tired of how awful folks have become toward each other. I swear the next person I hear say, "They should stop paying people unemployment." or, "I can't stand people that don't work." is gonna get a knuckle sammich… They should all go straight to H E double hockey sticks… I know, It won't do any good… but I will feel better.

blogslut September 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Just wanted to give some love to that most awesome Blingee.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2011 at 2:24 pm

"I would say any type of sexual activity has absolutely no place in the military," Santorum said.

Good luck with that one.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 6:25 pm

And from that statement, I now know without looking at his bio or his party affiliation, that he was not in the military.

ttommyunger September 23, 2011 at 8:57 pm

All this is so much bullshit. Barry's going to win a second term (if he can keep breathing) and here's why: Palin will endorse Perry, then at an appropriate time he will announce her as his running mate. Romney will get the Nomination, so P and P will run on the Tea Party Ticket, thereby splitting the Right vote in half. You're welcome.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Just sitting on my bed looking at how hairy my legs are and watching this debacle.

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Hawt

James Michael Curley September 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Just remember menopause is God's natural depilatory cream.

JustPixelz September 23, 2011 at 8:03 am

Jesus was thin, single and neat.

glamourdammerung September 23, 2011 at 8:13 am

And yet none of them can ever explain to me why North Korea and China are not Republican.

starfanglednut September 23, 2011 at 10:00 am

And faaaaabulous!!

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

SO gay. Face it, straight men are NOT single at 33, and "neat" is like, totes, a betrayal of straight manhood.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I'm in.

Nothingisamiss September 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Table for two, please.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: