John Boehner Ready To Eat Tea Party Alive If They Continue This Dissent

Orange warrior John Boehner is vomiting bullets all over Capitol Hill today, because the small army of whiny Tea Party jackoffs in his caucus voted against a GOP-authored continuing resolution to fund the federal government for another seven weeks, even though Kim Jong Boehner told them to just shut up and pass the dumb thing. Ha ha, politically useless party mutiny is what DEMOCRATS DO. Except in this case, because it is Opposite Day apparently, the Democrats voted against the bill en masse over a provision to cut funding for communist green energy loans, and now John Boehner will be forced to suck up to the Democrats with a new bill that includes more spending than the original. Weird how everything in that last sentence sounds like Congress just broke the rule of gravity or something! So anyway, yeah, Boehner is pissed. 

From the National Journal:  

Boehner was described as "spitting nails" during a closed-door member meeting on Wednesday, and his harsh talk demonstrated that the usually unflappable speaker is reaching something close to a breaking point with his internally divided conference.

Those close to Boehner said there is a growing anger in the leadership that some in the freshman class and other intractable conservatives pay no mind to the legislative dangers of abandoning leadership—especially at a time when Democrats feel as if they and President Obama are fighting for their political lives.

Top GOP leadership aides said Boehner knew the stopgap bill would fail and wanted to prove to the Republicans who defected how their actions would force party leaders to negotiate with Democrats to win passage of the must-pass bill. A government shutdown is not an acceptable alternative to GOP leaders, a message Boehner reiterated on Thursday. “There’s no threat of government shutdown—let’s just get this out there,” he said.

In private, Boehner has grown tired of what he dismissively calls the "know-it-alls who have all the right answers." Boehner knew what a defeat would mean—a more costly spending bill, one that provides more emergency disaster relief and contains fewer budget offsets.

Oh, we are laughing so hard. [ National Journal ]