SNOWBILLY INC.  1:45 pm September 22, 2011

Sarah Palin Will Continue To Think About Running If You Send Her Money

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Sarah Palin at her office.Man, who knows how to monetize “doing nothing” better than grifter-quitter grandma Sarah Palin? Palin’s SarahPAC sent out a letter asking for more donations in order to help Sarah in “making her decision of whether or not to run for office,” because Sarah Palin is the kind of narcissistic psycho hosebeast who believes she is entitled to a paycheck for the time she spends holding debates with herself in the mirror. Palin has been steadily pushing back her imaginary deadline for announcing a run, originally claiming she was going to make a decision about running by the end of September but then recently saying, eh, November maybe, whatever. Waiting around, who knew it could be so profitable?

Here is an excerpt from this annoying letter, sent out by SarahPAC treasurer Tim Crawford:

As you may know, Gov. Palin is on the verge of making her decision of whether or not to run for office.

It’s one of the most difficult and important decisions of her life. And I want her to know that she has our support.

Gov. Palin is a proven leader. She’s a common-sense conservative who fights for the rights of Americans like you and me — not special interests or big corporations.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s presidency is a disaster. One in five working-age men are out of work. One in seven Americans are on food stamps. Thirty percent of our mortgages are under water. Parts of Michigan and California are suffering from unemployment numbers that are greater than during the depths of the Great Depression.

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin?

If so, can you send your best, one-time gift to SarahPAC today to help her elect more common-sense conservatives - and show her that we support her if she decides to run?

BEG, is what she is saying. BEG HER TO RUN. BEG HER WITH YOUR LAST TWENTY DOLLARS. Then, in a few months, she might think about it, or not.

If her cult of brainless followers who want her to run so desperately had any sense whatsoever, they would make all of their donations conditional on her announcement that she is getting into the race. She’d be in by next week. [Des Moines Register]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 234 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] September 22, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Ooo! News from the TundraTwat. I was beginning to worry that we'd heard the last of her.

freakishlywrong September 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Yes. Indeed. Fuck us.

Warpde September 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm

That sucks.
I had $50 riding that she'd stay out of the news until the 24th.
Well, fuck you very much Sarah.
I was going to give 1/2 the winnings to your PAC, but now, ne-ah!

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Bad thought: If you are her age or older, you are going to be hearing from her for the rest of your tortured life.

102415 September 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Unless she can be lured into a cave and a big rock rolled over the opening.

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Her followers would believe the stone would be rolled away on the third day.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I'm a LOT older. I'll be dead soon enough, and then the torment will be OVAH!!!

ttommyunger September 22, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Hold me back!

weejee September 22, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Naaaa. Pull out yer verbal K-Bar.

ttommyunger September 22, 2011 at 4:25 pm

That is not as potent a metaphor as it could be, considering the K Bar is only a single-edged weapon. I prefer my weapons cut both ways.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Well, then, pull out your tongue.

ttommyunger September 22, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Never draw it unless I'm gonna use it. No sense being all dressed up and nowhere to go.

Barb September 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm

You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? At some point a pit bull does stop whining.

Tundra Grifter September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

So far in this life, no pit bull has ever asked me for money.

Ole Crazy Eyes and Duh Guv'Nor, on the other hand, have their hands out more often than an eight-year-old kid in a toy shoppe.

ThundercatHo September 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Do you think if someone threw her a nice, big bone(r) she would?

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:03 pm

I imagine that Glen Rice is well-endowed. That didn't stop her.

Eve8Apples September 22, 2011 at 2:10 pm

The difference? You can spay or neuter a pitbull but the hockey mom pops out kids like a neverending circus clown car.

Radiotherapy® September 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?
1. A pit bull doesn't quit.
2. They both get fucked by black athletes.

mumbly_joe September 22, 2011 at 4:09 pm

One of them's a small bitch.

Eve8Apples September 22, 2011 at 5:06 pm

And the other one is a dog.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 2:12 am

ROTFLMAO! Touche.

Gratuitous World September 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm

my only question is…

Who does a Palin have to fuck around here to end the NBA Lockout?

Barb September 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

All of them, Katie. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years. …

Steverino247 September 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Ahem…

All of them, Katie.

OneDollarJuana September 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Darn, I'd almost forgotten about the NBA lockout. Ah, sweet bliss! No NBA.

Lascauxcaveman September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

No what?

Gratuitous World September 22, 2011 at 2:52 pm

ah! where's the downfist when you need it?!

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Wouldn't there be the risk of catching something that a Kardashian may be carrying?

WhatTheHolyHeck September 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm

It's okay. I'm good.

Oblios_Cap September 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Gov. Palin is a proven leader.

I hear she drives hard to the hoop, too!

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 3:02 pm

And she's a demon with the backdoor pass.

Flat_Earther September 22, 2011 at 3:03 pm

She took the charge while Rice was driving for the hole…

chicken_thief September 22, 2011 at 3:17 pm

One-on-one she's a bear(acuda!)! She's all over you like white (Wasilla Sports Reporters) on Rice.

Flat_Earther September 22, 2011 at 5:22 pm

The double entrendre…

Very nice.

GunToting[Redacted] September 22, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Apparently they have a very different definition for "leader" than I do.

finallyhappy September 22, 2011 at 4:57 pm

I guess these are sexual innuendos based on sports. I know about sex but nothing about sports

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Me too. We can stick together and express wonderment.

SexySmurf September 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Sarah has already decided not to run for President in 2012, but she's still hasn't ruled out running in 2013.

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Or accepting donations for discretionary spending.

DaRooster September 22, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Better never than late!

Steverino247 September 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

But how does this affect Sarah Palin?

OC_Surf_Serf September 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

It’s one of the most difficult and important decisions of her life

Right after "What to bitch about on Twitter" and "What should I quit today".

ChessieNefercat September 22, 2011 at 6:39 pm

"Who should I accuse of being a limp, impotent pedophile today?"

Cunty pervert.

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Good luck cashing the check I sent you, Sarah, since I quit writing it halfway through.

Not_So_Much September 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm

She'll finish it with her 'Burnt Umber' crayola.

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Actually, Burnt Umber was the name of her and Glen Rice's love child.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:28 pm

No, no, that was Hoop.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 2:14 am

I thought it was Doule Dribble Palin.

orygoon September 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"Sarah Palin will continue to think"

I stopped there–no point in going on.

Callyson September 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

The Sept. 20 letter from SarahPAC…also notes the donations could be used to support other conservative candidates.
That's one way to give unemployed Mittens a job…

Moonbatting Average September 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Shorter SarahPAC:

"I'm going off the rails on a gravy train!!"

MOG2410 September 22, 2011 at 4:32 pm

well, it does make its own gravy.

itsjesuscriss September 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I would send her my last $20 but I blew it on a rock I crushed up and snorted off of a 55 gallon barrel of Bristol's tears.

Oblios_Cap September 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism.

So- she thinks that capitalist policies lead to European Socialism? What deep thinker $arah is!

finallyhappy September 22, 2011 at 4:58 pm

I am fine with European Socialism – it can get us universal healthcare, good bread and skinnier, better looking people.

Dashboard_Jesus September 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm

personally I think European socialism would be a welcome relief from the current state of corporate fascism we are living under…maybe we could negotiate for some hot Danish girls to go with it?

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Government by the dollar and for the dollar.

poorgradstudent September 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm

She really is an idiot. I mean, she could be asking people to pay her *not* to run!

ThundercatHo September 22, 2011 at 2:03 pm

This isn't such a bad idea. I can think of a whole load of GOPer assholes who I would gladly pay to remove themselves from office. We could start the Wonkette anti-PAC right here and now.

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:07 pm

There's a whole load of GOPer assholes that would probably contribute to SarahPAC if she promised not to run.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Grifters gotta' grift.

Tundra Grifter September 22, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Watch it.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 22, 2011 at 2:06 pm

You kiddin, I'm jealous of all that easy income! I need to come up with a scam.
I figure it needs to involve Jesus.

weejee September 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I figure it needs to involve Jesus.

And magnets and tides and browns hiding in the bushes, …

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:08 pm

NEEDZ MOAR HPV VACCEEN!

Dashboard_Jesus September 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

send me a proposal, I got a few ideas…the water into wine thing worked quite nicely

hollywooddood September 22, 2011 at 1:54 pm

"Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin?"

Um. No.

freakishlywrong September 22, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I KNOW Who will save us from the dreaded European Socialism? Ten weeks off a year, 100% unemployment and retirement benefits, fair wages? Save us O Hillbillitrix!

Dashboard_Jesus September 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm

dear gawd it sounds HORRIBLE! (hell I take the 4 weeks off a year coming to me and my boss acts like I'm screwing HIM!)

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 12:59 pm

You get four whole weeks? I had to work for the company for ten years to get that much. AND we were never allowed to take it in a block.

Dashboard_Jesus September 24, 2011 at 11:05 pm

yep I've been with same place for 12 years and I've only ever taken more than one week off at a time…two weeks a couple years ago to study yoga in India! what really sucks is so many Americans nowadays get NO paid vacation with their jobs at all, if only these 'Baggers and other poor slobs/ morons knew what they were missing' from *socialism*…of course most folks in Europe get 6-8 weeks off every year, universal healthcare, college education (cuz they VALUE edumacated peeple!!!) plus stuff like 6 months maternity leave etc…I loved the artcles/ videos last couple of years on Denmark as the 'Happiest Country'…they REALLY know how to do it! (of course USA sucks in comparison) http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4181996n

PsycWench September 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm

God forbid we submit to European Socialism. We'd have affordable healthcare for one thing, and that is just not God's way.

reliefsinn September 23, 2011 at 11:34 am

Don't you know that the Great Depression was caused by Roosevelt and his Socialist programs? Before FDR came along we had a thriving economy guided by the hand of the free market, which provided the DuPonts, Carnegies, Vanderbilts and Morgans, all American families, with large incomes, proving that you could make money in this country if you wanted to work. AND, if you didn't really want to send your 8 year old to work 60+ hours a week in a mine or tanning factory, there were Hoovervilles, soup kitchens and other socialist entitlement programs handing out money and food and providing housing.
So tell me this isn't a great country!

finallyhappy September 22, 2011 at 4:59 pm

why is she Governor Palin??? Ed Rendell didn't quit and I don't hear him called Gov. Rendell.

V572 Moon! September 22, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Don't any of these non-candidates ever go away?

PsycWench September 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm

No. They are following the Fruit Fly model.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Ah, so that is why Sarah was so snarky about research involving drosophila – professional courtesy.

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:06 pm

"Ooooh I, I love the spotlight. I got to boogie. On the campaign tra-a-a-ail, oh yeah!"

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Thad McCotter dropped out of the race today.

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 1:02 pm

And nobody noticed. (wipes tear)

Rotundo_ September 22, 2011 at 5:27 pm

If one has no morals or ethics to get in the way of a perfectly good scam, why stop? Newt and Snowbilly and Huckabee and a whole host of them have been milking the saps for years and none of them appear to be missing a meal or a roof over their heads. Once you have been "annointed" a conservative pundit/candidate/spokesmodel you have a tenure of sorts unless you get truly embarrassing like Steele did (though I suspect that the fact that his upholstery wasn't a GOP approved color probably had much to do with that as well). Between Regnery Fox News and Talk Radio, these guys will find a gig of some sort that just keeps going. Even if they are too damn dumb for those, the saps will still throw money at them like Snowbilly. People just love a grifter, especially one they can yank their atrophied private parts to.

hollywooddood September 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I'm not sending in a dime until someone tells Sarah the presidency lasts four years.

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Her majesty will not be tied down to artificial timetables, thank ya'll very much.

ChessieNefercat September 22, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Her presidency will last a bit over two years.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 3, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I think you'd want to tell her it's eight years.

Fukui_sanYesOta September 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm

"One in five working-age men are out of work. One in seven Americans are on food stamps. Thirty percent of our mortgages are under water. Parts of Michigan and California are suffering from unemployment numbers that are greater than during the depths of the Great Depression.

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin?"

Wait, what? First up, that whole first paragraph was caused by the MONUMENTAL FUCKING CLUSTERFUCK which was Bush economic policy.

Secondly, here's the unemployment rate in the UK: "Unemployment rate at 7.9%"

I think quite a lot of people would prefer that European Socialism malarkey.

Personally, I think EX-Gov. Palin should examine the possibility of shutting the fuck up.

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Last reported unemployment in Canada (August) was 7.3 percent. So maybe what Sarah is getting at is: Why should we try to adopt European socialism, when good old North American socialism seems to be working even better! (And, one might add, the extremely strict Canadian banking regulations that allowed them to dodge the financial crisis appears not to be slowing down the "job creators" one bit.)

SexySmurf September 22, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism.

Exactly. People who refuse to work or contribute to society should not have money just given to them.

Tundra Grifter September 22, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Doesn't that road start with The Bridge to Nowhere?

Dashboard_Jesus September 22, 2011 at 11:02 pm

y'mean like $carah right? she has had a REAL 'Merkan job for years, is currently living offa handouts from the public and makes absolutely NO contribution to society…sounds like *socialism* to me (I'm guessin' SarahPAC pays no taxes right?)

memzilla September 22, 2011 at 1:58 pm

So if she doesn't run, everybody gets their money back?

AHAHAHAHAHA (*snrfle*)

MonsterAGoGo September 22, 2011 at 5:18 pm

It just vanished donchaknow! But hey Merica dya like my new diamond rings?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 1:58 pm

As you may know, I am on the verge of making my decision of whether or not to post another comment on Wonkette.

It’s one of the most difficult and important decisions of my life. And I want to know that I have the support of my fellow Wonketteers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq. is a proven Poster. He fights for the rights of Wonketteers like you and me — not bloggers or the Snorg Girl.

Meanwhile, the blogosphere is a disaster. One in five blogs are humorous without meaning to be. One in seven blogs just link to Poltico. Thirty percent of blog posts on NRO induce vomiting.

Someone must save our nation from this road to Red State Blogging. Do you think it should be Lionel[redacted]Esq.?

If so, can you send your best, one-time gift to [redacted[PAC today to help me post more – and show me that you support me if I decides to post?

Lucidamente1 September 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Have you thought of starring in your own reality show?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm

How much does it pay?

flamingpdog September 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

If you dash out to the airport right now and hop on a plane to Jeebus Springs, Colorado, you might still have a chance to get in on the Gary Busey/Ted Haggard unreality show taping today.

Doktor Zoom September 24, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Have you considered having a drunken lout conveniently standing by when your 20 year old daughter is filming in a bar?

Come here a minute September 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm

You've got my support. Moral support. Sorry.

PsycWench September 22, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I gave you a thumb up. That's what you were asking for, right?

weejee September 22, 2011 at 2:24 pm

We'll p on you all we can.

Graham Cracker September 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm

At least we know that Lionel[redacted]Esq is not a quitter!

mumbly_joe September 22, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I gave you my best, one-time gift in pee diamonds.

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:12 pm

* Cue Lee Greenwood *

Dudleydidwrong September 22, 2011 at 10:15 pm

The check's in the (e-) mail. Wait 'til tomorrow to cash it, please.

Barb September 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm

By the way, Sarah. Just because it "gotcha" doesn't make it a "gotcha question"

freakishlywrong September 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm

This should generate millions. And hopefully drain the resources of the mouth-breathing yokels that believe anything that comes out of her, or any other "common sense" conservative's, fucking piehole.

SexySmurf September 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm

If so, can you send your best, one-time gift to SarahPAC

I would, but unfortunately, I already flushed it.

Limeylizzie September 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

You are on a roll today SS.

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Truly the Jim and Tammy Faye Baker of politics. Perhaps she could use some portion of her $14 million per annum income in helping her decide. I am sure she is torn between $14 million and $400,000 per year as president.

ThundercatHo September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Damn! I just sent my last $20 to Ted Haggard's Church of the Crystal Meth Addict Rentboy Stiffing Holyroller Hypocrit and Day Spa.

Barrelhse September 22, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Maybe they'd forward it?

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Sarah can also be paid in donations of white powder that she can share with family members.

BaldarTFlagass September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

God how I wish this woman's bus would plunge off a bridge.

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 2:07 pm

To nowhere?

genxr September 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Because they stopped building the bridge half way through?

weejee September 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

They have some that are heavy to fracture critical with structural deficiencies in Ohio. Just sayin'…

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Doktor Zoom September 24, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Gotta love The Bobs. For some reason, this one seems Palin-appropriate, too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27013XdKfVU

Pristine_ODummy September 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

She was made to be the topic of story and song, Dok!

finallyhappy September 22, 2011 at 5:01 pm

well, that would be a day that would exceed 9/11 in public mourning

HempDogbane September 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

By coincidence, my "best, one-time gift" looks just like my middle finger.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 2:01 pm

One in five working-age men are out of work.

Apparently this post was written originally in the 1930s?

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin?

And to stop Socialism, I should give my money to a person who quit her last real job and has been living off the kindness of others for over two years now? That sounds sort of like, I don't know, the worse characterization of European Socialism I know.

DaRooster September 22, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Can she see Tunisia from there?

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 2:01 pm

i thought we were supposed to call her 'mother sarah'.

SexySmurf September 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I think you left out a word between "mother" and "Sarah".

MLHencken September 22, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Queen Esther also works.

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 2:21 am

How 'bouts Cuntress Palin?

FakaktaSouth September 22, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Well well, check out this little Wasilla Welfare Queen…Hey America! Give me some of YOUR money before I might think about trying to get a job! Or maybe I'll just have another kid.

Lucidamente1 September 22, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Sounds like somebody just made a down payment on a bigger house/compound.

Not_So_Much September 22, 2011 at 2:03 pm

What will she think about doing if I send her a turd in a box?

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

As long as you include a bendy straw, she'll suck it up.

prommie September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

As Lou Reed once sang, "you'd eat shit, and say it tasted good, if there was some money in it for ya."

Troglodeity September 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm

If she's not more careful, she could create the impression that she's a grifter.

BaldarTFlagass September 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism.

Dumber than a bag of hammers, more greedy than Scrooge McDuck, and able to leap proper grammar in a single bound — it's SuperCunt!!!

Tundra Grifter September 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Kirsten:

You make a great point! The economic question of the early 21st century is how to monetize the social media made available by the Internets.

Both Duh Guv'Nor and Ole Crazy Eyes have figured that one out just fine. Newt hasn't mastered it, of course, but that's just one item on a rather long roster.

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm

My question is, how do we turn our p into whore diamonds? I think I can probably figure out a way to turn it into Ameros, but I'd rather have whore diamonds.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Gov. Palin is a proven leader.

Yes, most proven leaders are known for quitting the one time they ever were in charge of leading something.

LesBontemps September 22, 2011 at 2:35 pm

She's a proven leader in quitting, at least.

chicken_thief September 22, 2011 at 3:29 pm

But now she's ready to quit quitting. Allegedly.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:43 pm

That's too Zen a concept to associate with Scarah.

DahBoner September 22, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Too bad her Cult of Stupid members won't quit her….

Wonderthing September 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

To hell with her. I may or may not run for President either. I want five bucks from all of you. I take Paypal. Or meat.

Eve8Apples September 22, 2011 at 2:29 pm

"I take Paypal. Or meat."

That was Sarah's pick-up line the night she met Glen Rice.

finallyhappy September 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm

!000 thumbs up!

SorosBot September 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Poor Sarah, the vast majority of the rubes have finally realized they were being fleecing, her books can't sell at 90% off, the gravy train is just drying up while she spends like a lottery winner and so now she has to beg for more money, soon it should be time to file for bankruptcy and oh that will be fun to watch.

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Sounds like a party theme, Sarah Palin bankruptcy party. Wine to symbolize he constant complaining, lots of unprotected sex, and moose chili dogs.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but over at C4P the yobs are ululating about what every jot and tittle of that letter means. They're definitely smelling victory in the air based on the Marist polls. They're going to be crying some bitter, bitter tears when the WaSillyGrifter cashes their cheques and announces her true intentions.

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:20 pm

She still has her "job" at FOX News, doesn't she? That alone will pay for that pile she bought in Scottsdale.

owhatever September 22, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Show us your boobs, and if satisfactory, I'll study the possibility of perhaps considering slipping a tenner in your granny panties.

chicken_thief September 22, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I saw them at the VP acceptance speech. She had the whole brood on stage with her, including Todd and Trig.

DahBoner September 22, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Did you throw beads?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm

You know who else showed leadership by demanding money from ignorant followers so that they could make a decision?

ThundercatHo September 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Lionel(redacted)Esq ?

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I thought that guy looked familiar.

SorosBot September 22, 2011 at 2:21 pm

L. Ron Hubbard?

MLHencken September 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Cardinal Spellman?

jodyleek September 22, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Jim Jones?

HarryButtle September 22, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Jesus?

BTWBFDIMHO September 22, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Charles Ponzi?

gurukalehuru September 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Oral Roberts?

MOG2410 September 22, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Many ministers at a large number of churches?

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:16 pm

LeBron James?

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Meg Whitman?

prommie September 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm
jodyleek September 22, 2011 at 2:14 pm

According to the latest rumors, Grifter Gal here needs the dough to pay for the impending divorce. Toad's gonna want half!

JustPixelz September 22, 2011 at 3:00 pm

He doesn't need her money. He can write* his own book and rake in dozens of dollars. Suggested title: "Survival Skills: The Stormy Life and Times of Alaska's Former First Dude"
________________
* perhaps I assume too much

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm

The kids. She's not gonna take care of them.

zhubajie September 22, 2011 at 5:31 pm

As told to Levi!

DahBoner September 22, 2011 at 7:24 pm

"He can write"

Or at least mumble into a tape recorder inbetween meth batches….

Beowoof September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

The disasters she talks about have been created by Wall Street and W's conservative policies. Thanks, I would welcome a little European Socialism at this point, also too, you betcha.

MissTaken September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I gotta hand it to her, she is a fucking genius. Against all logic and reason $arah has managed to convince people to willing fling their apparently hard-earned money her way to do absolutely nothing but think about maybe someday possibly running for President. Fucking brilliant.

Eve8Apples September 22, 2011 at 2:38 pm

She's like a MacArthur genius for stupid people.

SayItWithWookies September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Sarah Palin's fans should give her money whether she ever does anything again or not — Nordstrom isn't going to raid itself, you know.

ManchuCandidate September 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Dear Friend,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die politically someday. My name is Jim John Jackson a former aide to gubbiner Sarah Palin from Alaska. She was among those who has career has died in a John McCain caused plane crash here in Alaska during the reign of Preznit Obummer.

Since the political demise of this our customer, Ex Gubbiner Sarah Palin, who was an idiot, I have kept a close watch of the deposit records
and accounts and since then nobody has come to claim the money in this a/c
as next GOP candidate. She had only $18.5mllion in his a/c
and the a/c is coded. It is only an insider that could produce the code or
password of the deposit particulars. As it stands now,there is nobody in
that position to produce the needed information other than my very self
considering my position in the PAC.

Please help me by sending me your bank account number so I can deposit this PAC money.

Kind Regards,

Jim Jack Johnson Esq LLB MBA BSC SSC TLA

FlyOverGirl September 22, 2011 at 6:00 pm

I love you.

BaldarTFlagass September 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm

So, how's that whole clutchy-grabby thing working out for ya?

ManchuCandidate September 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Worked on Glen Rice.

johnnyzhivago September 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Proven leader of WHAT?

BarryOPotter September 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm

She's the leader of the PAC… vroom vroom!

LesBontemps September 22, 2011 at 2:47 pm

"Look out! Look out! Look out!"

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 5:15 pm

A passel of maroonz.

genxr September 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Excuse me, I have to go drop some SaraPAC donations off at the pool.

MiniMencken September 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I think she could get some money from me if she went on Fox and announced her intention of ridding America of Jews, Bolsheviks and Freemasons. It would be worth at least, oh, $20.oo to me if she said that.

Guppy06 September 22, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I note there's no mention of what office she might run for.

ManchuCandidate September 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Town idiot.

BarryOPotter September 22, 2011 at 2:40 pm

She'll run down the hall to her home office, where she'll inadvertently catch Toad in some tawdry, torrid tangle of Toadesque turpitude with the neighbor, leading her to…

Guppy06 September 22, 2011 at 3:54 pm

blame the gays

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Toadly.

johnnyzhivago September 22, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I've got the job for Sarah – CEO of HP – chances are it will only be for a month or two, if CEO term trend line continues…
http://www.phinvert.com

AlterNewt September 22, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Freeway on-ramp, somewhere in America, June 2013.
A woman holds up a cardboard sign. It seems heavy in her hand.

"Will make up my mind for food"

BarackMyWorld September 22, 2011 at 2:20 pm

PAC money is like her unemployment checks.

fuflans September 22, 2011 at 2:21 pm

somewhere tina fey weeps quietly.

subsum September 22, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Cunt… and Sarah too.

BaldarTFlagass September 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Sarah Lou is a grifter from Alaska
She has no grip on just exactly what the facts is
She ain't gonna let one dime escape her clutches
She makes her livin' off other people's dumb-ass-ness

Sarah Lou, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Toddy Joe caught up to her the very next day
They got the money, hey
You know they got away
They headed down south and they're still grifting today
Singin' go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

Eve8Apples September 22, 2011 at 2:26 pm

The name "Sarah Palin" should never appear in the same story as the phrase "common sense conservative."

Chichikovovich September 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm

The word "conservative" should never appear in the same phrase as "common sense"

chascates September 22, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I would like to receive money from my fellow citizens as I've thought for many years what it would be like to live under this 'European Socialism' (I'm thinking of the Galicia region of Spain) and need support to study this question.

widestanceshakedown September 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm

If her god wants her to run, then it can bloody well fund her campaign, too.

BTWBFDIMHO September 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Asking for money, the only thing she will never quit.

SenileAgitation September 22, 2011 at 2:40 pm

She can't join the race until Michele is out, for crazy cunt solidarity and so people won't be confused about having two bewitching wackos to choose from. She won't run anyway, no money in it. But she will use your dollars to "help" elect others by finding upstaging opportunities all across this great land. Sorry, SarahPAC,but my best one-time gift is a lot like Grant Rice's.

flamingpdog September 22, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I'd give her $20 if she would just promise to reinvent herself as Sarah Semple McPalin and grift her way across the country doing the Elmer Gantry thingie. All the attention and dumbfuck-bucks income of her political career, with continued entertainment for us, and none of the anxiety of wondering whether or not she would build a moose corral and a garish snow-machine shed on the White House grounds if all the 2012 voting machines somehow mysteriously ended up in predominantly Republican districts.

Terry September 22, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Oh, here's an idea. Someone start one of those emails, you know the kind. Lots of exclamation points, a few mispellings, lots of Fwd:'s up in the subject line. The content of the email should make it clear that the Eeeeeeevil government is tracking everyone who donates to Sarah Palin and individually monitoring them. The only defense against this monitoring is not 1. not donate to her and, if you have donated in the past, 2. move way out in the country away from town with no computer access or phone (that's one way they track you, of course), and 3. not to vote.

JustPixelz September 22, 2011 at 2:50 pm

"Gov. Palin is a proven leader"

How true! If by "Gov." you mean "ex-Gov". And by "proven" you mean "petty tyrant who used her office to settle personal vendettas instead of respect the public trust given to her by the voters". And by "leader" you mean "quitter".

Flat_Earther September 22, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I would be a really bad President. I promise not to run if you will send me some cash. You don't need to send a lot. Just $10 from a few hundred thousound people will be fine. Reply if you need my address.

mourningnmerica September 22, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I would have sent her money, but I don't want one long hip hop orgy in the white house. Couldn't she just have fucked Larry Bird or Danny Ainge or something?

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:22 pm

I would have thought maybe Carlos Boozer, since she already has experience in fucking her constituents.

__kth__ September 22, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Palin's cheek is pressed against the ceiling, and she has about 3 breaths left before the water of not-giving-a-shit fills the cabin.

Tommmcattt September 22, 2011 at 3:09 pm

What do you think she smells like in that picture? I've always wondered that.

Barrelhse September 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Don't know, but is that cream-cheese oozing out on the left side?

GOPCrusher September 22, 2011 at 5:23 pm

The shit house door on an old tuna boat?

fletc3her September 22, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Raw turkey entrails I imagine.

yrbmegr September 22, 2011 at 3:21 pm

That's actually pretty smart of her (handlers) because the moment she declares, she will be out of the race.

owhatever September 22, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Me sending you money just because you want it is a wee bit like income redistribution, ain't it, ole girl?

chicken_thief September 22, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I don't want to have to reread the entire begfest of bullshit to get money, but did I miss something? It says Glen's biotch is thinking about running, and a lot of babble about the state of the nation and Obummer, but does it say, explicitly, that she is thinking about running for POTUS? I mean, if she can rake in some serious cash, then run for dog catcher, she may be smarter than we think. But then, that's not such a high bar to clear.

Nostrildamus September 22, 2011 at 3:41 pm

I'd really like to the see the "Levi Johnston in Sarah Palin's crosshairs" animated GIF photoshopped onto Sarah's crotch in the story's main pic.

mumbly_joe September 22, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Palin has been steadily pushing back her imaginary deadline for announcing a run, originally claiming she was going to make a decision about running by the end of September but then recently saying, eh, November maybe, whatever. Waiting around, who knew it could be so profitable?

On the other hand, who better to put in charge of our never-ending wars?

Fox n Fiends September 22, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Oh no, not European Socialism! All those vacation days! Child care support! Robust economies! NOOOOO!!!

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Universal healthcare. Jeebus, save us!!!!

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Addicts, alla youse, hanging on Babble Spice's every word.

And shaddup awreddy about what am I doing here.

Neoyorquino September 22, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Sorry. All of my disposable income is going to support Generalissimo Francisco Franco in his valiant fight to remain dead.

BZ1 September 22, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Sarah who?

ringletwraith September 22, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Never look a grift horse in the mouth, I always say.

anniegetyerfun September 22, 2011 at 5:10 pm

If her cult of brainless followers who want her to run so desperately had any sense whatsoever

Well, that answers that.

Jukesgrrl September 22, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Funny, that photo of Sarah in her office looks just like ME in MY office!

Am I running for something? Please send $20 (or a whore diamond) to Jukesgrrl, PO Box 666, Tucson, AZ, to help me decide.

rocktonsam September 22, 2011 at 6:38 pm

"ITS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT AND IMPORTANT DECISIONS OF HER LIFE."

We still love you TRIGGY!!

I'll send her my last 20 if she just closes her legs.

DahBoner September 22, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Sarah Palin Will Continue To Think About Running If You Send Her Money buy her favorite video Anal Sex Academy

fletc3her September 22, 2011 at 8:16 pm

It may be heartless, but I stopped giving money to panhandlers some years back.

PuglyDoRight September 22, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Alt text – Full of Win

user-of-owls September 23, 2011 at 12:49 am

Even in that brief excerpt, there are so many idiotic flaws (Gov.? Is he counting characters? In an email letter??) it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s presidency is a disaster.
Such an elegant transition! You can practically hear the TV Batman swirly sound when they changed between scene locations s as you read it!

One in five working-age men are out of work.
So, the overall unemployment rate is under 10%, yet among males it is apparently 20%? Damn! Since women make up roughly half the workforce, in order to reconcile those two figures you would have to come up with: Zero percent unemployment among women!! Go Team Vag!!

But my favorite(?!) is the firm, decisive declaration at the very end:

…we support her if she decides to run?

Negropolis September 23, 2011 at 2:08 am

Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s presidency is a disaster. One in five working-age men are out of work. One in seven Americans are on food stamps. Thirty percent of our mortgages are under water. Parts of Michigan and California are suffering from unemployment numbers that are greater than during the depths of the Great Depression.

Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin?

My god, that reads like a parody. That can not be real.

I've seen Nigerian scam letters less shameless than this. Good grief.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 9:19 pm

You should see how they're oohing and aahing over at C4P.

Pristine_ODummy September 23, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I don't want to think of "dribble" and "Palin" in the same thought, if you get my drift.

Doktor Zoom September 24, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Yeah, but they'd trade it all for our freedom.

Dashboard_Jesus September 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm

you mean FREEEEE DUMB? (cuz we got plenty o' that!) methinks our Euro friends are a bit too edumakated to desire to be as STUPID as 'Merkans, plus they just laugh and laugh at how we let the religious nutjobs RUN our cuntry while they wouldn't let 'em anywhere near their govt.

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