Anonymous human entity “Tim Pawlenty” has not had very much luck getting a nation of 300 million people to recognize his existence and much less his stuttering, abortive campaign for American President, so he told reporters he will try his hand somewhere a little easier: “I wish I were still in the race, but now I’m going off to Tunisia instead.” WOAH, Tim Pawlenty, do you even speak, uh, African? Pawlenty heard there were some presidential elections going on in that corner of the world, so, eh, he’ll check that out, as an “election observer,” which actually sounds much like his role in the American Presidential campaign as well. At least the food might be better?
From the WSJ:
After dropping out of the 2012 presidential race last month, and then endorsing his rival Mitt Romney, the former Minnesota governor plans to lead a delegation of U.S. election monitors heading to North Africa in late October.
“I wish I were still in the race, but now I’m going off to Tunisia instead,” Mr. Pawlenty said in an interview, talking by phone from San Francisco.
Asked why he was taking up election monitoring, Mr. Pawlenty joked: “I’m available. I have time on my hands.”
Aw, that’s cute Tim Pawlenty, but you do not have to actually exile yourself just for your humiliating loss to insane person Michele Bachmann in the Iowa straw poll, although we can’t say we blame you. That’s a tough one to live down. Happy travels! [WSJ]
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Oh, what did Tunisia ever do to you, TPaw?
He remembers that one episode where Ritchie and Potsie pretended to be Tunisian camel jockeys in order to pick up the hot babes.
No, I didn't quite get it either, but it's either that or "spend more time with his family," so there you have it.
I think his family might have paid for the trip to Tunisia.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…wait. What?
Timmy could have a new career as an erection observer. But I'd keep him away from any bridge inspector jobs.
Well … you might. Republicans sure as hell won't.
So Tunisia has monitors to ensure fair elections; we could use some of those in America.
Not like TPaw though.
Think of the positives. He will put everyone within visual distance to sleep. Voter turnout will be reduced, true, but so will the likelihood of any fracas.
I was just thinking that. Are we 2nd or 3rd world now?
Just admit it, Tim, you are not batshit crazy enough to stay in the game.
Do not be fooled. The fascism and opportunism run deep in this one. He just barely retains enough of a conscience to be ashamed of it.
No he doesn't. You can't be a Republican AND have a conscience. Cognitive dissidence of the first degree.
Cognitive dissidence always messes with my self of steam.
Oh god, you've been talking to Doktor Zoom about assburgers, haven't you?
So, as a Repub, are we to assume he's going all that way just to make sure every single dark-skinned person who wants to vote has photo ID?
Surely to prevent "voter fraud", which as we know, all dusky types love the nanny state, therefore, they vote librul, which means they also commit fraud. Or something. (I really can't keep up with this horseshit anymore).
But that would be all of them, Katie.
is he wearing the hockey jersey for when he turns the frozen donkey wheel to get to Tunisia?
Perry is Smokey.
Tunisian masses: We have marched, we have protested, we have withstood our regime's tyranny. Now at long last we will follow the true and verdant path that democracy promises us!
TPaw: Hi, fellas.
Tunisian masses: Ah, shit. Ben Ali! Hold up!
Only TPaw could make "A Night In Tunisia" thoroughly boring. He has to wake up the rest of the band after his solo break.
I'm not deaf. I meant 2 play that shit.
LOL JAZZ CATZ.
That Chet Kincaid guy, man.
The moon is the same moon above you
Aglow with it’s cool evening light
But shining at night, in tunisia
Never does it shine so bright
Was it Diz who told Ella Fitzgerald, the woman with the greatest vocal range and the best diction and the clearest tonal production in jazz, to scat?
Is he going to check everyone for valid ID, and make sure nobody registers the same day they vote?
He's going to go visit the Holy Site of the Filming of Monty Python's Life of Brian.
"I'm NOT the
messiahcandidate!"T-Paw should get a 5-minute major for cross-checking.
TPaw will feel right at home in Tunisia — nobody's heard of him there, either.
That explains the "People of Tunisia, Before you vote, pay all your parking tickets!" flyers that have been showing up around Tunis.
He did the interview here in San Francisco? I thought I sensed a layer of extreme ennui float in with the fog.
They rape people with their hands over there T-Paw, but then again you prolly knew that already.
Just as a thought experiment, I would love to see how the rightwing nutosphere would react if a Democratic former candidate went to help a Muslim country with their election.
Louder than a brass band in an echo chamber and meaner than a junkyard dog. Like they react to everything.
no need for thought experiments, just look how they treat Jimmy Carter
Minnesota's own Merkin Muffley has left the building!!!
More like a hybrid of the personality of Merkin Muffley and the politics of Buck Turgison. (That's why one-L Michele pulled so far ahead of him in the eyes of Republicans. She has both the personality and the politics of Jack D. Ripper. She's not quite as stable, though.)
If by stable you meanzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Actually I meant that she's less stable than Ripper. I never thought about whether Pawlenty is stable or not but now that you bring it up I thinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Might run into Mark Hamill there. Because that's where his career began and ended.
They filmed Corvette Summer in Tunisia?
Mark did more work than Star Wars?!
An oeuvre of one.
Ahem. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was cinematic masterpiece.
I think he did a mall opening in Tunis a couple years back.
And they did voice recording for Batman: The Animated Series there?
In defense of Mr. Hamill, he has done a ton of voice work, including a great version of the Joker in the Batman animated series, and a lot of characters in Metalocalypse. Smart move, given that every time he shows his face, everyone thinks "Luke Skywalker."
T-Paw is running the Romney Get-Out-the-Vote effort in Tunisia. Mitt figured he'd do the most good there.
It was either that or bridge inspector. Too soon?
Never too soon to remember people died on that fucking bridge.
True-to-form, Tim may end up observing an also-ran scheduled election. The election was originally scheduled for July but was postponed due to “technical problems.”
This one may not get off the ground either.
Please stand by . . . as you stand by, Tim.
He's fleeing to Tunisia? He is probably going there to hide his real birth certificate.
Or to murder his sickly grandmother who knows too much.
Can TPaw win as a write in candidate in Tunisia? or do you have to be born in Kenya to be president there?
You know the sad fact is that we need election observers here, in Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida etc.
I'm not hearing any volunteers.
T-Paw is constructing a bridge to democracy.
What could possibly go wrong?
~
Maybe he's hoping George Lucas will find out some way to put him in the next revision of Star Wars.
George Lucas does not need any help in shitting on Star Wars.
Come on, Kristin, do we really need another Pawlenty poszzzzzzzzzz
As if the rest of the world doesn't hate us enough…now our losers among losers are heading abroad to meddle in more shit.
Asked what he was doing in San Francisco, Mr. Pawlenty laughed and said: “I’m doing what you might expect. I’m looking for a job.”
Just keep that man away from the Golden Gate Bridge. The Oakland Bay Bridge also…
The Dumbarton bridge, the San Mateo bridge, the Richmond … oh, hell, just get him the fuck out of California.
T-Paw is going to rescue Gaddhafi before the Libyan rebels capture the old dictator. He's a modern-day Otto Skorenzy!
Cause they do such a good job of counting votes in Minnesota.
well at least Minnesota does it better than Florida
He's on a mission to defeat the Lizard Brotherhood.
Damn…I had the same notion…
He's hoping to find Obama's birth certificate.
If Africa is a country, how can a town like Tunisia have its own President?
"I’m available. I have time on my hands."
That shit is so hard to wash off, too.
So did Romney fire him or did he just out source him?
Devil's Advocate time:
I saw T-paw on Colbert a few weeks ago after he had quit the race and he seemed fairly relaxed and, I can't believe I'm saying this, almost personable — certainly when compared to the remaining clowns. He probably doesn't feel obligated to pander to the teabagger base….or something.
I saw him on This Week couple of years ago and remember being impressed with his articulation; even though I knew I didn't agree w/ him, I noted he at least seemed level-headed and composed.
Good to see my sense of humanity is completely gone.
Now back to our regularly scheduled snark.
two months into president perry's regime even baggers are going to miss t-paw.
T-Paw wants to get noticed so badly. Overturns one typecast after another — Appear on Colbert Report! Use some uncouth slang before a live audience! Farm out notorious film editor to one former rival; hire out oneself as a foot soldier for another, on the Romney Express..
But this transnational endeavor to Tunisia just became the least unpredictable move of all now that I've read up on some more of his background: "During his two terms, Pawlenty made trips to Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Kosovo, and Kuwait visiting Minnesota troops."
Well call me conflicted. Is this laudable, or have the other GOP contestants made themselves out to be so ignorantly deprived of exposure beyond their confines, that something as basic as traveling abroad looks ambitious and admirable by comparison? (unless you're going overseas to preach Mormonism, of course)~
I'll have you know that Rick Perry is an international traveler — he left the great nation of Texas to run for president of a country he doesn't even want to be a citizen of, if that makes any sense.
to be fair, SOME governors can see foreign countries from their houses.
come to think of it, that would include t-paw.
As Commander of the Minnesota National Guard, whose members served loooong and often over there, he barely whimpered about the Defense and White House decisions that caused this. His trips over there were so obviously resume-builders. Just because he's boring doesn't mean he's not worthless.
T-Paw's expenses fully paid by the League of Tunisian Insomniacs.
Someone has to stop the Tunisian students from trying to vote with their student ID cards.
Pawlenty is going to come back from his trip wearing sunglasses and smoking Gauloises, quoting his favorite world-weary lines from Camus novels. This is his big chance to escape his small prairie town and see the world! I'm excited for you, T-Paw.
Tunisia is a lot more like Bachmann cuntry. No government services. Lots of guns in the hands of people suffering from religious overexcitement. Maybe she should go instead.
Could you write her campaign a letter to that effect? Pretend to be Norwegian, or Minnesotan.
Republicans? Election Monitors? That's crazy talk… nice knowin' ya Tunisia…
Yeah, like that's a place.
That's fine. Take Bachmann with you. She needs to get out more.
Preferably of the country. Certainly of my vicinity.
Tim: Take it on down to Liquor Barn.
this is just weird.
What den of vice(s) are there in Tunisia that draw Republican politicians? Is there a description in the CIA factbook?
Since all the bridge jokes are used up…Tim's going there to bolt on the JOBZ zone sign on the outskirts of Tunis.
wasn't he passed over for the putrid one … Lou Sarah?
Remember, only sissies use sunscreen.
Guess what, mainstream media? He's not joking.
But we were just told that Tim Pawlenty was
co-chair of the Willard Romney campaign.
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