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Here is the new trailer for the nightmare horror film about Rick Perry becoming President! It is difficult to tell what is happening, because there are no shots in this trailer longer than .024 seconds and there is A LOT OF NOISE (seriously, turn down the volume if you are watching at work), but the takeaway plot synopsis we have gleaned has Perry removing the last few shards of humanity from America’s depressed masses with the sharp edge of his boot heel only to replace them with zombie droids he shouts at while they anxiously carve chalk drawings of American flags into sidewalks between bouts of disease and slave labor, without complaining. 

Eh, that is more like our “artistic interpretation” of the true meaning of this video about nothing, since it is devoid of information in the way that very endless collections of low-grade stock video clips tend to be when they are combined with the MOAR CONTRAST and MOAR DESATURATION filters that Final Cut Pro designed for people who make self-produced music videos and movie trailer mash-ups on YouTube. People have to stay busy at 3 a.m., somehow!

Dave Weigel reports that this seizure-inducing ad is the work of the media dude that Perry just stole from Tim Pawlenty’s old campaign, since Tim Pawlenty is already one of the zombies, which is how things work in Texas. [Dave Weigel]

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  • OC_Surf_Serf

    …A LOT OF NOISE

    That's all we're hearing from Jimbo Ricky Perry and this crop of Republicans

  • Narrative: Obama = bad. Perry = Hero.

    What a crock of shit. Seriously guys, try harder. Better yet, stop trying.

    • mrpuma2u

      Did you notice the almost complete lack of people of color (other than our current POTUS) I think I saw Dear Leader Perry shaking hands with one black guy in the Army. Other than that, it was small town white folks and fat cat suited white guys.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        And this … surprises you?

        • Chichikovovich

          I was about to post on this too. Normally these agencies are careful to sprinkle a few people of different colors in the ads. A few black people, an Asian or two. I'm sure if we considered similar ads for Bush we'd find them there. If there aren't any, it is by design. Nothing in these commercials happens by accident. But the first couple of times through, including a couple where I was looking hard, I didn't see any apart from POTUS. (Mind you, there were some rapid cuts, so I may have missed something.)

          • Pristine_ODummy

            There was the one Latino-looking guy about halfway through. But otherwise, this video reveals an America that looks nothing at all like the one I live in.

          • Dashboard_Jesus

            you watched that shit more than once? hell I couldn't make it past the first 15 seconds before feeling the gran mal seizure coming on

      • iburl

        Just because whites only make up 49% of Texas' population is no reason to acknowledge the existence of non-whites.

      • Did you notice the big super "AMERICAN" shortly after Perry appeared? OK then. Next question?

      • CapnFatback

        fat cat suited white guys

        AAAAAAHHHHH!!! ZOMBIE FURRIES HAVE COME TO STEAL MY COUNTRY!!1!

      • Yeah. After my hearing returned, I noticed there were very few persons of color.
        BTW: An abandoned card aisle? Really? Don't they always look like that?

      • extreme_left

        nah he wasn't shaking hands, the black army guy was salutin' him…the way it should be!!! Perry/Goebbels for prez.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Problem is, Obama has a really beautiful voice and good diction. And Perry sounds almost exactly like Gee Dumb, yeah, Bush.

      • OC_Surf_Serf

        Perry/Reverb 2012

        • Pristine_ODummy

          Right now, it's sounding more like Perry/Satan 2012.

      • Between the combination of "W-voice" and the cheap Reagan imitation, I freaked out a little.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          After EIGHT fucking years of that fucking mindless schmuck, I can't hear that voice without a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and a "Holy shit, what has that stupid fuck done NOW?"

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Narrative: Obama = bad black. Perry = Hero.

      Fixed.

    • MOG2410

      But it has horsies!!!!

      • Nostrildamus
        • emmelemm

          Is that…. for real? A spoof?

          I thought Conservapedia was for real, like, it takes itself seriously, but that article is cray-cray.

          • Nostrildamus

            Impossible to tell. Conservapedia's primary editors take themselves very seriously, but given their batshit ideas and petty personalities, it's impossible to distinguish them from the parodists that flock there also. Way hilarious. Andy Schlafly's recent crusades include those against Relativity Theory and imaginary numbers, and an essay that atheists are fat. For years the picture accompanying the article on Richard Dawkins was Hitler giving a foamy-mouthed speech. NOT KIDDING.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          WTFFFFFFFFF?????

      • Negropolis

        And, stars. So very many Texas stars. Can you still call them lone stars when there's like 20 of 'em?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I watched the first few seconds and had a petit mal seizure. Looks Koyanisqaatsi for kids with ADD.

    • mrpuma2u

      You get a thumbs up for the koyanisqaatsi reference alone!!!!!

    • Ohforcripessake

      No shit! My eyes still hurt!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Oh (Big) brother.

    We have always been at war with Eastexas.

    • genxr

      …and Gulfeana

      • Negropolis

        …and Texahoma. Oh, and Texarkana (the Texas part). Also.

    • schvitzatura

      Obama is always the subject of the "Two Minutes (Minus One) Teatard Hate"…

  • mrpuma2u

    Ugh. Like this redneck tool will lift one finger to help the homeless, unless it's to fast track lethal injection death. Someone should make a mock campaign site for him called "Rick Peril" because that's what our country will be in if he becomes preznint.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      DinglePerry should win the nomination and lose the general by something whackingly impressive, like 70-30.

  • WhatTheHeck

    The only thing missing was Perry ridin’ into Washington on a white horse with the song playing “ He comes from Texas on a big white horse.”

    Fail.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Well, there WAS that shot of a horse in there, we just saw its legs is all.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        But I sure heard piles of horse shit.

      • HuddledMass

        That was Cowboy Rick, riding to the rescue, obvs. Get with the narrative already.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          I wonder if Ricky, like Georgie, is secretly terrified of horses?

    • MOG2410

      So is that like f**&k u and the big white horse you rode in on? 'Cause I can get behind that, heh.

  • Couldn't they just show a video of Rick Perry personally executing a Texan death row inmate? This would play far more directly to the targeted demographic.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And blowing away a scrawny starving coyote with his gun.

      ♪ If that don't teach you a lesson
      He's gonna show you his Smith and Wesson ♫

    • While shooting a coyote with the other hand?

    • Chichikovovich

      Especially if the voice-over announces that the inmate was found to be clearly innocent by evidence uncovered after all his allowed appeals had run out. But Perry executed him anyway, just because he could. And in the background, Johnny Cash singing "I shot a man [fade] ..just to watch him die."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    ♫ We didn't start the fire ♪

    Well, actually…

  • My natural conclusion is that Perry threatened to execute Michael Bay.

    • Needs moar Transformers and Megan Fox.

      Actually just Megan Fox.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Austin Vice.

  • DaSandman

    Redneck Antichrist

  • MittsHairHelmet

    Needs more aliens.

  • Needs moar Michael Bay-style 360 degree rotating cameras.

  • baconzgood

    Hey that's not Mulholland Drive!

    (with that Baconz gonna get loaded)

  • SorosBot

    So Perry likes to give epileptics seizures? Rick Perry / Pikachu 2012!

    • Fare la Volpe

      RICK PERRY used TOUPEE!

      It's not very effective…

    • Negropolis

      Rick Perry 2012: Gotta' Catch 'em All!

  • poncho_pilot

    needs moar Christopher Walken (but less cow bell):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CdKuLRmg8k

    • Behold, the denouement of the Perry presidency.

      • poncho_pilot

        SPOILER ALERT: in the sequel, Perry dies in a fountain in LA.

  • MMathS

    Looks like they might have used the Final Cut Pro Ennui Filter. Nice touch.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Zero brain cells.
    In 2012, White People Redux!!!

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    It takes incredible skill to film a playground, street corner and cafeteria during off-hours.

  • Look how happy all the white people will be after he's elected!

  • GortRay

    If you watch this video, a week later you'll barf up blood and your head will explode. Fair warning.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Too late. I'm barfing blood alreadAAAAARGH! (boom!)

  • horsedreamer_1

    TPM had the AN AMERICAN tagline in the still from this to lead their coverage. Means Rick is still playing to the Birthers.

    • HuddledMass

      Yep – vote for AN AMERICAN as opposed to what we have now. Subtle.

  • fuflans

    rick perry will fix america with flags.

  • johnnymeatworth

    It's like Apple's "1984" ad except evil wins.

    • genxr

      To them, the lady with the hammer is the bad guy. Why does she want to punish the big disembodied head for being successful? Class warfarez!

  • fuflans

    also rick perry, what is wrong with the greeting card aisle?

    • SenileAgitation

      That empty greeting card aisle is haunting! And dark! No cards for Grandma's birthday, no graduation or confirmation cards, because Black Man ruined everything. No one wants to by cards, they are standing in line for lotto instead. Is my takeaway. Zero hope. Zero sum. Jap zero. America needs a white savior.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I was wondering about that. It looked so … cute, like the doors would burst open any minute and leggy Japanese schoolgirls in white cotton panties and knee socks would rush in, chirping, to buy HAPPY! HAPPY!! cards for all their friends.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The message is that if we elect Rick Perry, Rick Perry will see nothing but patriotic Americans under sunny skies waving flags. Because he will be thrilled to be running a place that's not engulfed in fire, mired in poverty, hungry, overbudget, rotting, uneducated and fixated on sadism and religion.

    But that will all change by his second year in office.

    • MOG2410

      Bush gave him a head start with both TX and US, helluva job Shrub.

    • Negropolis

      Shorter Wookies: The message is elect Rick Perry 'cause…freedumb!!!1!

  • FakaktaSouth

    "We don't need a President who will apologize for Amurica, we need one that'll fuckin threaten secession cause he don't understand his own state's constitution, much less the whole country's…"

    • powersuit

      Half that speech was already spoken by Obama: amurca's best days are in front of it, etc.

      Also, That Perry logo at the end is a complete thematic ripoff of the Obama campaign logo–oval, red over blue, sun on the horizon–'cept it's missing the vision.

      So, take Obama, remove the vision, and what do you have? A Texas imbecile.

  • chicken_thief

    Sorry folks. I couldn't slit my own wrists and I can't watch that fucking garbage. Not even for potential snark content.

    • Geminisunmars

      Your loss. It was pure, um, what's the word?…um, pure art(ifice).

      • Chichikovovich

        Sort of like "Triumph of the Will" would have looked if Leni Reifenstahl had the attention span of a goldfish.

  • What's with the Macy's product placement at 1:21 ?

    • insidebeltway

      Isn't this an ad for Macy's?

    • hollywooddood

      Macy's is where we used to shop when we had jobs.

    • genxr

      It should be Neiman Marcus. Texas bidness fail.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Needless Markup is for the folks that have GOOD jerbs.

  • Needs moar "In a world.." narration.

    • lamorenabruja

      "…the world called on RP to execute one of the biggest upsets in all of political history. He misunderstood and executed some other things. AND THE WORLD CALLED ON HIM 200 MORE TIMES!!!1!!1!

    • MOG2410

      Or Bill Murray in "Scrooged" to do the creative.

  • fuflans

    why does michael bay get to keep on making movies?

    (man those guys are just so good.)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Am I the only one here getting the whole Greg Stillson vibe?

    • FakaktaSouth

      He is not smart enough to keep the crazy on the downlow til election time though! He's as outloud with his freaked out endtimes scary-ness as can be. HOW HAVE THE ACTUAL CANDIDATES GOTTEN WORSE THAN THE SCARIEST STEPHEN KING CHARACTERS????
      Whew, scuse me. I'm so sorry.

  • jus_wonderin

    Oh Gawd. I watched about 1/2 of that crap. What a load.

  • LettucePrey

    Good Tapdancing Christ, that motherfucker is loud. I had it turned down to about 20% of the volume bar and it still nearly blew out my earphones.

    Does Texas have some kind of volume-to-dick-size machismo ratio?

    • Geminisunmars

      Yes. They just don't realize it is inverse.

  • AlterNewt

    'Mommy, I'm afraid to go to sleep."

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Me too, honey. Me too.

  • jetjaguar

    This.

    This thing need to be honey-badgered.

    "Oooh, this all so dark and scarey… Obama don't care, he just let everything go to SHIT. Look, even his poster is rotting… so nasty."

    • OneYieldRegular

      Knock yourself out.

  • Pristine_ODummy

    ZOMG. Of COURSE the maroon who produced Tim Pawlenty's hideous, irritating, 20th Century-Fox style bad action movie ads made this!

    Won't somebody please contribute enough to send that nice Canadian boy to film school?

    • poncho_pilot

      all i could think of when watching this video was, T-Paw.

      which is probably the first and last time anyone will use that sentence.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Unless Bob Newhart makes a sex tape.

        • AlterNewt

          "The Unbuttoned Mind of Bob Newhart."

    • mumbly_joe

      Honestly, the fact that this guy, whoever he is, believes for some reason that Michael Bay's cinematic style is the epitome of high art doesn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that he apparently really only has the one shtick:

      Blue filter, jump cut, jump cut, lens flare, yellow filter, lens flare jump cut, lens flare jump cut lens flare lens flare lens flare aaaaand campaignlogo.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Thank you for an excellent technical summation.

    • hilacious

      By the looks of it, he's IN film school. "Oooooo look how awesome I am!!!"

      He'll be working at starbucks once the 12 month program is up.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        I meant a *good* film school.

  • Not_So_Much

    Ol' Stick-up-his-ass was freaking the crap out of me well before this shitty, poorly produced 'Scream 7' knockoff.

    • Radiotherapy®

      This will also play well on The Torture Network.

  • who's going to answer the 3am phone call when there are no longer phones?!?!

  • CrunchyKnee

    What a complete piece of shit, and I even liked the new episode of Two and a Half Men.

    • SmutBoffin

      Production values: what were they?

    • Negropolis

      So, what you're saying is that you know shit, right?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I learned two things from this:

    1) America would be fine if we only had more flags and Statues of Liberty everywhere, along with better hair.

    2) The average person who Rick Perry wants to vote for him has the attention span of a cockroach on meth.

  • Rotundo_

    So much for comparisons to Ronaldus Maximus. All I could think of when I saw and heard all this shit was DUBYA DUBYA TOO! THE REGURGITATIN'!!!1111!!!!ONE1111!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!11111!!!!11111!!!!

    • Radiotherapy®

      President Ground Zero.

  • MissusBarry

    I wonder how much Virgin and Macy's paid.

  • chascates

    I don't believe we'll ever have an Aggie in the White House.

    • Chichikovovich

      President Perry's first act in office will be an order to Bring Back the Bonfire!

  • Chichikovovich

    How is this supposed to get people to call Mr. Plow?

  • Mort_Sinclair

    I think Rick Perry really is Randall Flagg.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      The Wankin' Dude

    • Fare la Volpe

      I don't think they make a mullet toupee.

    • schvitzatura

      More Nathan Arizona…

  • lamorenabruja

    In a taste test–and isn't everything important in the USofA determined by one of those?–the GOP overwhelmingly preferred "President LIGHT" over "President Zero", if ya get my meaning.

  • crybabyboehner

    I'm not laughing. This ain't "Olympiad" but it's pretty slick.

    • Troglodeity

      I gotta agree with you on the "President Zero" tag. Effective jiu-jitsu-like use of the Obama emblem.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      It might be slick, but it's only going to appeal to the nutbags who already hate both Obama and Romney. Its sole purpose is to get Romney out of the race. The "President Zero" tag won't take hold as long as Perry is behind it, because he represents something far worse than Zero. He's in the minus range.

      • crybabyboehner

        I'm guessing you are not in the independent – swing voter category, right?

        Nutbags, we have 'em. Perry is 10-0. Ask KB Hutchinson and Karl Rove …

        • Pristine_ODummy

          I could be. I mean, I was mad enough at President Hopey to consider voting for Jon Huntsman when this brouhaha started.

          Perry is only 10-0 because his kind of schtick plays well in his home state. His persona is not very attractive to anyone not from TX, which is one count against him; it's even LESS attractive (if possible) to general election voters (Democrats, Indies, sane Republicans).

          It's sort of like the All-America-Selections of plants you can buy. People think the AAS designation means that the plants are somehow better. They're not. They just perform uniformly across all zones. However, if you replant from seed, and pick a cultivar that is best adapted to your climate (which will NEVER be an AAS), your plants will perform much better than the AAS-tagged strains. Perry's a TX strain. He's definitely not an AAS.

  • whiterabid

    One in six Americans live below the poverty level. Where was the call for them to pay taxes?

  • It's morning in America! True, it's a cloudy morning hanging gray and dull above a post-apocalyptic wasteland full of cratered dreams and the ashes of children burned alive in the Great Zombie War of 2011, but still morning in the chronological sense.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Mr. Perry, Where are the Brains!11

  • Radiotherapy®

    I thought it was rather well executed.

    • Negropolis

      If that man knows nothing else, it's execution, for sure.

  • Geminisunmars

    So, Perry is trying to appeal to the demographics of the Transformer movie viewers? Are a lot of 14 year olds voting now?

    • Negropolis

      The 14-year-olds at heart, which is most of the Republican Party.

      • Geminisunmars

        And 2 years old in emotional development.

  • Needz more things blowing up!

  • MOG2410

    His target audience can be heard fapping for joy.

  • Beetagger

    It's actually a pretty good ad, but I think it's too fast paced for the morons who would vote for him. Mourning in Amerika.

    • Negropolis

      No, it's the perfect pace for the moron who will vote for him. They have the attention span of fruit flies.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        I'm officially announcing that I'm stealing "the attention span of fruit flies." Being as how Drosophila melanogaster is a frequent topic of conversation in this household.

  • flamingpdog

    I believe I'm goin' to vomit!

  • HarryButtle

    You know who else produced slick propaganda films?

    • widget2011

      Chairman Mao?

      Pol Pot?

      Oh no, I've got it, Joseph Goebbels?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Steve Jobs?

    • Geminisunmars

      British Petroleum?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Oh, let me think now, who could that be, who … Hitler?

    • not that Dewey

      Frank Capra, Chuck Jones and Dr. Seuss?
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_Snafu

  • flamingpdog

    I like this one better. Perry/Cheney 2012!

    • flamingpdog

      And this one.

    • Polythene_Pam

      I like this one best of all

      zero / conjunction junction 2012!

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Since we all know Dick's REAL identity now, don't you mean "Perry/Satan 2012"?

  • Pat_Pending

    Needz moar flagz n white peepl. And hoarses.

    • Polythene_Pam

      But, did you notice how much whiter that second speechifying guy was than the first one?

  • Gleem_McShineys

    Seriously, that shit is unbelievably loud. I have my mp3 player plugged into my aux jack on my speakers here at work, which normally completely mutes the computer sounds.
    I could actually HEAR SOME OF THAT FUCKING NOISE COMING THROUGH.

    Apparently Perry must think his target audience is both blind and deaf, and as a brilliant strategy, he sets out to make new ones.

    • Geminisunmars

      And don't forget dumb.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    The take-away from any Rick Perry message is, he is what the real George W. Bush would have been with an authentic Yosemite [Texas] Sam narrative.

  • Fawkdifiknow

    Subtle, yet still understandable by your typical teatard.

  • This is going to be the greatest Tim LaHaye film adaptation ever! Except they got the 2 halves of the Anti-Christ's reign mixed up, and have the scary horror times happening in the first half.

    But actually, does this video show anything actually improving under Perry? It seems just as obnoxious and scary as the Obama part, just more brightly lit and with a more loathsome accent.

    p.s. All of you fuckers mooching p off the Perry is Randall Flagg/Anti-Christ meme that I established several weeks ago are about to be served by the meanest I.P. lawyers in the country. I'm talking shysters who worked for DISNEY!!

    • Pat_Pending

      never fuck with The Mouse.

  • MrFizzy

    I am scared shitless that there is any chance whatsoever that we'll have to listen to that stupid fucking accent for the next year and a half, nevermind four years after that if the Mercan public gets it wrong, again.

  • blaspheyou

    There were a lot of minorities in Perry's Sunny America.

  • metamarcisf

    It's mourning in America. I woke up in mourning and I got myself a beer. Was it someone here or someone at Breitbart that told me this is how the words go?

  • insidebeltway

    This scared my dog and she ran out of the room.

  • Troglodeity

    Needs moar hoarses. Got enuf cows.

  • MissTaken

    I'm scared. Hold me.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Don't worry, hun. Rick's got a nice comfy electric chair for you to sit and relax.

      • Negropolis

        Ooo…is this one of them heated chairs, 'cause my heads gettin' all warm and tingly-like.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          Damn, get OUTA that chair, dude. You KNOW what happens when one of US sits down in dat ting.

  • Limeylizzie

    OT but less special effects, much less noisy and much prettier and making more sense….I give you Elizabeth Warren.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htX2usfqMEs&fe

    • Needs more bullshit anecdote some random person sputtered at her a few minutes before the event.

      But seriously, where are the other couple dozen Elizabeth Warrens we will need to take back Congress?

    • Geminisunmars

      I love that woman. Thanks for sharing the link. Mr. Geminisunmars and I plan to contribute to her campaign.

      Now, class, please contrast and compare the two videos.

    • Negropolis

      I love that she went from being an underdog to actually beating Brown in the polls so early. It's a nice narrative to have. I want to keep the faith that if any state can be counted on to correct electoral mistakes it's Massachusetts. Don't let me down.

  • MiniMencken

    Not quite Leni Riefenstahl, but a good try.

  • Guppy06

    "stole from Tim Pawlenty’s old campaign"

    Is this what they call "failing upwards?" Because that's certainly a value that Republicans can get behind!

  • widget2011

    I love those christians and their legendary hippocracy! Rick prays for rain, and it rains alright, RAINS FIRE, which tells me if god exists, he is sending a strong message to Rick. Quit now or GTFO!

    • Chichikovovich

      If by hippocracy you mean "rule by horses", yes, it does seem to be the message of this video that we're in for some of that. At least a cabinet-level appointment for Perry's horse.

      Perry/Caligula 2012!

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Now, Li'l Boots' horse was a Senator.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Texas is more desolate than I thought.

  • Callyson

    Could not get the video above to work so I checked this out on YouTube. Ratings have been disabled for this video. Coincidence, or could it be all part of Perry's plan…? Today YouTube, tomorrow the country…

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Jesus. Eraserhead was less unsettling.

  • hollywooddood

    Avert your eyes and just listen. I thought it was either George W Bush talking or I was hallucinating.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Sounded like him to me.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    And did I see a an abandoned Whoopie Cushion factory there?

    • Chichikovovich

      Rick Perry will return America to its rightful position as leader of the world fake-flatulence industry.

  • Even more frightening headlline: "Rick Perry Will Freak The Crap Out Of You On Dance Floor At Campaign Club Event"

    • FakaktaSouth

      I came back to this comment this morning, just to make me feel better abt seeing Rick call my Pres' handling of Israel "dangerous" (right after Benji N called him the best thing Israel's got going in their talks with Palestine). What a better world this would be if this really stupid guy was on Dancing with the Stars instead of the national stage. Love.

  • ♪♫ His spurs go jingo, jackass, jingo ♫♪

  • SheriffRoscoe

    NEDZ MOAR TORNADO SIREEN

  • Wonderthing

    Bring his cracker ass on.

  • mumbly_joe

    It makes sense that they'd copy the same style that they used for Tim Pawlentey's campaign. After all, it worked wonders for that campaign, right? Turned it right around.

  • Polythene_Pam

    Oh, if only they would *actually* given him the economy to do with as he plans to do. Instead, they fight him all the way & he gives in, in the name of compromise. So, who's economy is it? Who's responsible for the big zeroes?

  • genxr

    Worst SXSW entry ever.

  • mumbly_joe

    So, what I really got out of that video is that the brown fella is going to make the subway waaay less crowded during my morning commute. So, he's got my vote.

  • James Michael Curley

    That ad gave me a warm feeling down below. Not enough kaopectate.

  • owhatever

    The real end of the world would come if we elect still another dipshit governor from Texas. The new ad is aimed at winning over the World of Warcraft teen crowd. Fail.

  • Schmegeg

    Is it really necessary to scare the shit out of us in these commercials? I almost expect to see space aliens coming out of green pods.

    Perry v Obama will be Heat vs. Cool.

  • Reva Patwardhan

    What's with the "We need an American" bit at 1:07? I thought we'd established that Barry is, in fact, American.

  • smitallica

    Here's Obama's commercial in response:

    "When Bush left office at the height of the recession he helped bring on, unemployment was at 8.1%. Now it's at 9.1%. Not good, but we're working on it.
    When Rick Perry took office in Texas, their unemployment was 4.5%. Now it's 8.5%.

    In other words, fuck you, Perry. Fuck you sideways."

  • ttommyunger

    The Teatards may own the House, but they don't own the Party. Romney will get the nod, not this pompous would-be cowboy. I can see where this commercial will get the faithful to fapping, but the lefties will throw up in their own mouths and the Indies will be scared shitless by it. Preaching to the choir, dipshits.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Way way too much fast cut for his natural audience, the olds, they're just going to be confused and a little scared. The best part for me is the voice-over, that accent, it just sounds so…so…familiar somehow, like an old friend you haven't spoken with for three years, not without cause…

  • I sure hope Perry had permission from the Union Pacific Railroad to use an image of their train in the ad – they are ultra sensitive about this kind of thing.

    I hope their Washington Public Affairs Office isn't getting too many complaints from "shareholders" at: http://www.uprr.com/aboutup/community/federal/ind

  • Negropolis

    Remember when Tim Pawlenty made one of these? Yeah, how'd that work out?

    I was fully expecting to see Will Smith in there.

    I've had it up to here with movie trailer-styled campaign ads regardless of the politician putting them out. For the love of everything good and holy stop this mess. You're running for president of the United States, you bastards, not to be the last one on the island or the American Idol. This is not a reality show.

  • nosocksguy

    Wow, I didn't realize they were making a sequel to "Independence Day"!

  • AddHomonym

    0:39 – Never forget!

  • schvitzatura
  • schvitzatura

    Appeals to the Call of Duty set, obvs…

  • DemonicRage

    The Brooklyn Bridge is in there for a millisecond. On behalf of the people of Brooklyn, I strongly object.

  • mayor_quimby

    Am I the only one who caught the two white kids drinking from the fountain? WTF?
    That ad makes me feel like I was raped by freedom, for freedom, truth, justice and the American Way.

  • OKthennext

    Was Bob Dylan drinking from a water fountain at 1minute 14 seconds?

    Dear god why did I watch that?

    This whole 'marketing department for president' thing has gotten way out of hand.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    Glad to see that Leni Riefenstahl still has work

  • Sassomatic

    I feel like there is some subtle suggestion that the shit economy is Obama's fault. I dunno maybe I'm imagining it.

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