our flourishing economy

Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy

What he doesn't realize is that John Boehner is standing right behind him, glowering.Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. The GOP leadership, on the other hand, is more like a different firefighter who stands a little further away and fires torpedoes into the blaze in the hopes that he will be elected winner of the smoldering remains after his colleagues have been burned alive. To that end, top Republican Senate and House leaders sent a strongly-worded letter to Bernanke Tuesday warning him to leave off his latest plan to stimulate the economy, because it has a near-zero chance of making everything slightly less terrible that still rhetorically counts for more than “doing nothing, screw everybody,” as the GOP strategic plan outlines.

From TPM:

In a Tuesday letter to Bernanke, leaked to the press, Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Jon Kyl (R-AZ), and House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA), ostentatiously cautioned Bernanke against providing the economy any further monetary stimulus.

“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

Because the Fed’s monetary policy decisions are expressly intended to be immune to political pressures the letter has generated backlash from Democrats and Republicans alike.

Who even knows why they are sending creepy letters around to poor Ben Bernanke. The Fed still pretty much repeatedly tells everyone “nothing will improve, ever,” and Bernanke reportedly just wants to try out for fun (as these things usually go) some kind of short-term Treasury securities “where’d they all go?” magic routine to shush the howler monkeys while the ship sinks:

Most economists expect the Fed to announce a plan Wednesday to shift money in its $1.7 trillion portfolio out of short-term securities and into longer-term holdings.

The plan could lower Treasury yields further. Ultimately, it could reduce rates on mortgages and other consumer and business loans.

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is expected to advocate the move despite criticism from within the Fed and from Republican lawmakers and presidential candidates.

LOWER RATES ON MORTGAGES AND BUSINESS LOANS? That sounds awful! Just leave Ben Bernanke alone, mean old John Boehner. These things never really work, the poor will still get poorer, etc. [TPM/AP]

Comments

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  • HistGuy

    Tax poor people. That'll fix it. Simple math, right?

    • freakishlywrong

      I heard tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations fix everything as well. Might as well try it, right?

      • DaRooster

        All that extra money not coming from their fair share would definitely help.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Then melt them into fuel when they run out of money. Financial AND energy crises solved! Now where's my Nobel?

    • Chichikovovich

      For heaven's sake don't you ever read the daily talking points bulletins? Republicans do *not* want to *tax poor people*. They want to broaden the tax base. Got that? *Broaden the tax base.*
      ..
      um…. this is Politico, right?
      ..
      Aw crap – hey just forget what I just wrote, OK?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Even Brookings Fellow Gregg Easterbrook got the zombie lie –"49% of all Americans pay no federal tax" — into his ostensibly non-political Tuesday Morning Quarterback column on ESPN.com Page Two. And he's a supposed liberal, being at Brookings, which is itself supposed liberal.

      • HistGuy

        What are you? One of them socialist-types?

    • Boojum_Reborn

      It makes poor people poorer, and just makes sense. Does it to you?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      It's got to improve things just due to the sheer volume of poors.
      It's like what one of the engineers here said when we were trying to win a new package of business. "we'll lose money on these parts, but we'll make up for it in volume."
      He's also a dittohead, so there ya go.

      • emmelemm

        Long and convoluted "this is what that makes me think of" story:

        Many years ago, Mike Daisy wrote a one-man show about working at Amazon (in the early heady days) and how Amazon acquired Pets.com (I think that was the site – with the sock puppet dog TV ads). And basically they offered "free shipping" on the pet stuff, which meant that they were eating the cost of shipping 60 pound bags of dog food and 30 pound bags of cat litter. Their rationale was, "Well, we make it up on the super high margin things, like diamond-studded dog collars."

        Yes, the number of people ordering diamond-studded dog collars is OBVIOUSLY going to offset the number of people ordering 60# bags of dog food. OBVIOUSLY.

        ETA: Duh, this obviously went all wrong and they discontinued it.

    • MonsterAGoGo

      There are more poor people than rich people. It's only fair we tax the majority of people more than the oppressed minorities. Besides, once the rich pay no taxes they will create jobs. Building yachts, waxing yachts, serving drinks on yachts. Of course the Messicans still get the gardening jobs.

  • Barb

    Did Boehner write it on the back of a cocktail napkin?

    • DaRooster

      With a golf pencil?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Or the back of his hand with SP30. The old Lou Sarah backhand volley.

    • widestanceshakedown

      On the back of a punk staffer with santorum.

      • MissTaken

        With a paper towel, definitely not a napkin.

    • MonsterAGoGo

      He had enough on his desk to write the entire GOP platfor, the next tax the poor bill, and a proposed Cuntsdelusional Amendment to ban nigras from voting or being voted for, all in block print.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    How many of these fucking cockweasels have any kind of economic knowledge at all? I mean really.

    It's like Joe the Plumber sending a strongly-worded letter to NASA about their choice of solid rocket propellant.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's like me sending an email to Ottmar Liebert offering guitar-technique tips.

    • baconzgood

      It's like me writing a memo about office productivity.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Haha, as if you'd stop browsing the web long enough to get around to that

        • Preferred Customer

          Hey! That's not a bad bullet point for the memo. Baconz, are you taking notes?

          • baconzgood

            I was too busy screwing around, what was that again?

          • horsedreamer_1

            With the intern?

          • Pristine_ODummy

            You mean baconz is really Newtered Gingr Itch?

    • DaRooster

      It's like me yelling at the footballers about how to tackle… oh… I do do that… sorry.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        It's like me remembering … what were we talking about?

    • OneDollarJuana

      These guys have perfect economic knowledge. Tax cuts for the rich = big campaign donations + cushy jobs upon leaving the Legislature.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      It's like me advising my wife on.. well, anything.

    • Negropolis

      It's like Sean Hannity saying, well, something to anyone about anything.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg ProgressiveInga

    Short version of said letter: "Whatever you do, don't do anything that will help anyone while the black guy is still in charge…"

    • smitallica

      It's like they don't even have the courtesy to at least PRETEND they're not deliberately trying to sabotage the recovery. Isn't that…wait, what's the word…hold on…oh, I remember…TREASON?

      • GOPCrusher

        Have to admit, it does have slightly more tact, then the average Tea Bagger response of pistol whipping Ben Bernanke if he does anything that could help the colored boy get re-elected.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    These are the same senators who've all said straightforwardly and out loud, in front of reporters "We're not going to do anything that will help Obama get reelected."

    Easy to interpret as "anything that might actually be good for America, these next two years."

    America Held Hostage: Day 973

    • LesPaultard

      "The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president."

      Not just one of our goals, or a thing to do after fixing the economy, but the single most important thing.

    • user-of-owls

      America Held Hostage: Day 973

      Hey, I remember reading those chyrons! They were only inches away from me on the TV screen! Too soon!!

  • Come here a minute

    Not to worry, Bernanke never received the message. It was blocked by his spam filter.

    • freakishlywrong

      Subject: FRUSTRATED!!1

    • user-of-owls

      Dumb Old Aunt > GOP

    • Schmannnity

      Bigger dick and bigger dickhead emails all go to spam folder.

  • Sue4466

    Trying to marginally help the economy without majorly fucking over the poor and working class is socialism Mr. Bernanke. And against freedom.

    • chicken_thief

      Clearly he has never read the Constitution and the background material available on the intent of the Founding Fathers – Thomas "He sure was a Christian man" Jefferson, Ben "He sure was a Christian man" Franklin, and little baby Jeebus.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Was Boehner glowering or glowing in his special orange hue?

    • Nostrildamus

      Go, Go, Orange Power Ranger!

    • OneDollarJuana

      Same color as the pollution-tinted hue of a Los Angeles sunset.

      • Bonzos_Bed_Time

        He wants to be a Jackson Brown song.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          For reasons that Freudians will undoubtedly want to analyze, I read that as "He wants to be Jackson Brown's sarong."

          Perhaps it's time to hang up the keyboard till I get my eyes checked.

          • Bonzos_Bed_Time

            Boehner would make a lovely sarong for anyone. I mean, really, who could say no to this!

          • Pristine_ODummy

            We'll have to find a soundproofed location to store him in while we beat him flat.

  • Oblios_Cap

    If Ben can figure out how to shush the howler monkeys, I'll vote for him to be our next president.

    Jeez, I always thought that the GOP were assholes, but they've really gone off the tracks these last 3 years.

    • OneDollarJuana

      "Jeez, I always thought that the GOP were assholes, but they've really gone off the tracks these last 30 years. "

      /fixed

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I credit a lot of that to President Obama. He has repeatedly put them in the position of opposing things that they themselves proposed less than a decade ago. He has forced them into sounding like howler monkeys.

      They stand revealed in all their madness. Pretty awful sight, too.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Next up: Horse head.

    • Steverino247
      • BaldarTFlagass

        Ayuh. Exactly.

    • Chichikovovich

      Good point. We've been concentrating on Bohner, Cantor, etc. when the first thing we have to do is get rid of Luca Brazzi.

    • not that Dewey

      This life-size plush toy decapitated horse head sends just the right message, without ruining the sheets, and it's comfy, too!

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Awww! I love the little X's for the eyes! And that pink, velvety, lolling tongue.

        • not that Dewey

          It's adorable, right?

          I bought one, ostensibly for my dad, but Little Suzie Dewey glommed onto it when she wuz but a wee toddler. She's 4 now, and sleeps with it nightly. It's one of her faves.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            Totes.

            But I do have this image of your wife standing there with that "I'm only not rolling my eyes because I don't want sprained eyeballs" look on her face as you hand this to the kidlet.

            I wonder if I dare get one, or will it be taken over by the Evil Felines?

          • not that Dewey

            At first she couldn't understand why I bought it at all. "Who's gonna want that?" Ha!

            Little did she realize that it would become the most coveted and talked-about item in our stable of child-abuse paraphernalia.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            I like to think that your little girl will grow up to be a Wonketteer, even if the Wonketz no longer exist by the time she's an adult. It's important to get 'em while they're young, before they get bland and boring thanks to the pressures of school and OBEY/CONFORM.

            Now I really want that horsehead.

        • not that Dewey

          A friend of mine at work wanted to get her this Cthulhu plush toy. He was concerned that she might be freaked out by it. I said, "I gave her a decapitated horse head. How freaked out could she be?"

          • Pristine_ODummy

            If you were my IRL friend or neighbour, I would be spending hours searching for bizarre plush toys for your kidlet too. Something tells me you're raising her right.

            When she gets older, consider purchasing her a copy of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes. I highly recommend it. In fact, I owe all my twisted snarkth to that very tome.

          • not that Dewey

            One of the EVIL AMAZON customer reviews invoked a comparison to Edward Gorey. I am so buying that book! (As soon as I find an alternate retailer. Baldar is listening!)

            Another Wonketter on a recent thread recommended this wonderful children's book. The "inspired by Wonket" section of my bookcase is the cause of much eye-rolling, indeed!

          • Pristine_ODummy

            Gotta watch out for that Baldar. He hears everything, sees everything.

            That looks like a great book. When I opined as how I didn't know a kid I hated enough to inflict it upon, several generous Wonketteerz offered Rick Santorum's tantrum-throwing daughter.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Well, maybe she'll freak out when she hears about the working conditions at the Amazon warehouse where the Cthulhu plush toy was shipped from.

          • not that Dewey

            Ironic, isn't it? Cthulhu himself could not have thought up a business plan that involved ambulances parked outside the warehouse. Brilliant!

  • bureaucrap

    and if we see you exhibiting compassion, Bernanke, we will string you up for treason.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      YOU'VE WON!!!! YOU'RE EXECUTION NUMBER 350!!!!

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Compassion?!! They're not going to wait till things fall THAT far! Any sign of doing ANYthing that might improve Obama's chances of re-election will suffice for the Jew to get the hemp necktie. They've already said so. Or did Perry mean something else about how people would treat Bernanke down in Tejas?

  • An_Outhouse

    GOD LIBEL!

  • Trannysurprise

    I hope the fed prints up about 300 million hundred dollar bills and shoots them across the country out of the vajajay of a million Vietnamese hookers.

    For laffs and to piss of the Republicans.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I'm afraid we don't have that many. We'll have to recruit multiculturally.

      • Swampgas_Man

        It'll surely put money into the — uh — hands of the neediest!

        • Boojum_Reborn

          So, that's three hundred shots per vajajay, which at the average rate of fire for a Vietnamese hooker, should take approximately 24 hours? Assuming we are talking about single shot âm đạo, that is.

  • Sue4466

    I'm starting to get the impression the GOP doesn't really want the economy to get better.

    • flamingpdog

      I'm starting to get the impression that the sun comes up in the east in the morning, and that the Pope is Catholic.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I don't want to sound … skeptical, or anything, but when did you first notice these "impressions?"

      • Sue4466

        I know it's hard to believe of such dedicated public servants, but it's just this general idea that's starting to form that maybe–just maybe–they care more about power than people.

        Of course I could just be having a pessimistic day!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I motherfucking hate these motherfucking motherfuckers.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      There are days when I long to squeeze them like a toothpaste tube — till all the shit is squeezed right out of them.

  • freakishlywrong

    At what point do we frog-march these treasonous fuckers around the mall in DC so people can throw shit at them?

  • baconzgood

    Dear Mitch McConnell, Jon Kyl, John Boehner, Eric Cantor.

    I'm trying to do MY job, so fuck off and try to do yours for a change.

    Choke on your rent boys cock,

    Ben Bernanke

    • DaRooster

      p.s. Mitch, you're a fucking turtle, Eric, a weasel and Boehner a tangerine… nah nah.

    • OneDollarJuana

      baconzgood, they ARE doing their jobs. Perfectly! They were hired to funnel ever-increasing amounts of our money to the rich who mostly live by skimming off funds from financial transactions. And they are very, very good at it.

      • SorosBot

        That and to make sure the economy stays fucked until November 2012 in hopes that voters will blame Obama and they can make the White House white again.

        • baconzgood

          So they can fuck up the economy s'more for the next Democrat so they can have him blamed and win the White House. Perpetual motion politics.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I'll tell ya, if I was a 2012 Dem candidate at any level above county commish, my stump speeches would be an endless loop tirade against the Party of No.

          • horsedreamer_1

            But that would not be "civilizing the discourse".

            *Only applies to Democrats.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            I got their civil discourse right fucking heah.

        • Negropolis

          …so that they can funnel ever-increasing amounts of our money to the rich who mostly live by skimming off funds from financial transactions.

          See? It's the circle of life.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Not to be picky, baconz, but you really need to specify whether you mean "rent boy's cock" or "rent boys' COCKZ." There might be confusion in teabagland, otherwise.

      • baconzgood

        imma ganna mark you Prissy. I love my spellin' and grammar corrected. 19 years of education and no one has EVER brought that up once.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          You're gonna thank me when all those nekkid hairy saggy old Republicans DON'T turn up on your doorstep looking for rent-boy cock!

          Wait, no, wut?

  • genxr

    Look I'm having enough trouble feeding my family on $600k/year. Now you're going to lower the interest I earn on my monies? Clazz warfarez!

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Did the "journalist" interviewing that schmuck even *bother* to remind him that that is TEN TIMES what the average American family of four has to live on for the year?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    but since these same asshats refused to fund the US Postal Service, the letter never reached Bernanke.

  • DaRooster

    "Don't you dare attempt at making the economy any better. We have to wait to do that until after the election".

    (but of course)

    • Swampgas_Man

      If only they could actually DO something after the election, but then it's time to scare the peoplez about all the Dems who managed to pull out a win. . . .

  • SorosBot

    Where are the jobs, Boehner? You promised us jobs if you were Speaker; and now you are and you're trying to make sure we have no new jobs. 0

    • fuflans

      i know right? they should be getting this thrown in their face on a daily basis. they shrieked and shrieked about jobs in the 2010 campaign. when they got into office they tried to repeal health care and outlaw abortion. then they threw an unholy fit about the debt THEY helped run up and forced ill-advised tightening on a fragile economy. and hey presto! the economy – which was showing signs of life – tanked again, taking unemployment to greater depths. now they're meddling in fed policy for purely political ends.

      gaw!!! i hate them.

    • GOPCrusher

      And Mitch McConnell said his number 1 priority was to make sure to put Obama out of a job.
      Why does Yertle The Turtle want to increase the number of unemployed?

    • kissawookiee

      Did you personally walk up to Boehner and offer to blow him for bus fare? Because those are the kinds of jobs I figure he meant.

    • GOPCrusher

      Did I read that correctly the other day? The Tea Baggers plan on running someone against Boehner in a primary because they are butt hurt that he negotiated with Obama on the debt ceiling?

      • Pristine_ODummy

        That's right. And yon worthy lout has already sounded the challenge by calling Boner a "soshulist."

        Sometimes, being in their Looking-Glass World makes my brain hurt.

  • DaRooster

    "…particularly without a clear articulation of the goals…"

    The goal is to make things better on the people that overpay your moronic asses… pretty simple… like you bags of snot.

  • freakishlywrong

    The four assholes of the conservaclypse.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilleddoommate

    "This is Obama's shitty economy and we need it to stay that way."

    • chicken_thief

      Yes. The fundamentals of the economy were sound and all was just hunky dory until 1/20/09.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    “the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

    Seems this edict of accountability might've been more usefully uttered, say, in the direction of the feckless Wall street architects of our economic downturn?

  • WhatTheHeck

    “It is a far better thing to let this country descend into chaos than to let a black man steer us out of perilous times which white men created,” the Republicans write.

    • chicken_thief

      Then attributed it to St Ronald, just for giggles.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      That has a stirring ring to it. Where's that piece of granite I had lying around?

  • Ducksworthy

    GOP's new slogan "We broke it and we dare you to try and fix it. So there! Neener neener neener"

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, it is "We broke it, and we won't let you try to fix it."

  • AlterNewt

    The Republicans are naturally accusing Mr. B and the Fed of actions intended to help the President and they must be, because, look around you.

  • V572 T-Blow

    McConnell, Kyl, Boehner and Cantor: four men of quality, well-known for their uncompromising dedication to the good of the Nation, whatever the political consequences.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Mister Mxyzptlk, is that you?

      • Chichikovovich

        OK, V572 T-Blow, repeat after me: "Kltpzyxm"

    • SorosBot

      Did the versions of those four who acted like that all have goatees?

      • jus_wonderin

        Yes. Now, I'll be down in Engineering talking to Scotty. Swoosh…….Swoosh.

    • Chichikovovich

      Was a thoughtful, non-racist version of Eric Cartman with them?

  • DetectiveGrey

    Come on, Bernake, and do the Twist.

  • gullywompr

    These signatories are the same yeast infections that are always demanding written detailed plans, thinking they can tie up things with research assistants and red tape. Three pages too long? How about just two words, yeasties?

  • baconzgood

    You know who else wanted to destroy a countries long term economy for short term political gains? NO SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANYONE ELSE WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!?!?!

    • SorosBot

      Fellow right-wing thug Marcus Calpunius Bibulus? Actually it would be fun to see this repeated with them:

      "Caesar presented his bill at the Assembly anyway, and when Bibulus tried to intervene, the crowd broke his fasces and dumped feces on him."

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Pity they didn't break his face, too.

    • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

      Robert Mugabe?

    • horsedreamer_1

      John F. Kennedy, with respect Cuba?

      • SorosBot

        Or Thomas Jefferson, to Haiti – the South couldn't have an example of a successful nation started by slave revolt just down in the Caribbean.

    • fuflans

      well kim jong il but, of course, he's considered a sociopath.

      oh wait…

    • WhatTheHeck

      The Ayatolla of Rock-n-Rolla?

    • Chichikovovich

      Nixon/Kissinger and the Chilean generals wreaked massive havoc on the economy of Chile under Allende, to create a pretext for a bloody coup and a ruthless dictatorship lasting decades.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    They also wrote an obnoxious letter to the FLOTUS, priggishly requesting that she not "distract" the President from his duties by "giving him any" until November 7, 2012.

    • user-of-owls

      So now they think Barry's a prize fighter in training?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        If he's "edgy", he might "lash out." Then, The People lynch him at the polls!

        • Negropolis

          God, how these fuckers wish they could lynch him on a pole.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            And it's so obvious that that's what they're thinking. Much as I want to criticize my President, I fear they will tear him to pieces right before my eyes if I do.

  • Warpde

    What the hell Bernanke?
    Lower intrest rates and force homeowners to quit their 3rd job flipping burgers at McD's
    because they won't need too?
    How un-american of you sir.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "That's a real nice Federal Reserve you got there, Mr Bernanke. We'd sure hate to see anything, uh, bad happen to it."

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I can just see them fondling the pillars as they say this.

    • GOPCrusher

      Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, the Republicans officially want to make sure that no one tries anything to fix the economy.

    • fuflans

      this was my exact and first thought when i heard this nonsense this AM.

  • freakishlywrong

    Their asses should be blistered for this. Had we a media. In lieu of that, I can't wait to hear their talking points in defense of this on the Sunday old men talking shows. With no Dems to rebut. Me, I'll be watching Chris Hayes.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    One, or two, of the Koch Brothers just had to go to the restroom to "freshen up".

    • Gleem_McShineys

      People thought it was odd that moments after hearing the news, they had chosen that moment to joke around, re-enacting that restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally.

  • user-of-owls

    Ok, so now I am completely upside down. On Monday, Obama gets out his shiv and goes after the Republicans all 'Chicago-style,' saying they're social chiggers and calling out Boehner by name. On Wednesday, the Republicans issue a 'strongly worded letter.'

    Exactly when did the two parties swap sides and turn into each other?

  • Goonemeritus

    And Ben has responded with a Fuck You I’m doing it any way. Its not like the Fed answers to these jerks anyway, the sad truth is that only the non-democratic parts of our government seem to be functioning at this point.

    • Chichikovovich

      I hope that Ben also sends them a note saying "Remember Peter Diamond – the Nobel Prize winning economist and specialist in unemployment that you refused to allow to be confirmed to the Federal Reserve? Well, I talk to him *every day*."

    • GOPCrusher

      That's OK. When President Paul takes office, Bernanke and the rest of the Fed will be out on the streets looking for a job.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        I made the sad mistake of stating at some online forum that Ron Paul would never be the President of this nation. Man, those Paultrads are a humourless lot, aren't they?

  • edgydrifter

    Let's take a look at the options here…

    A) Interest rates stay where they are, people who haven't defaulted on their mortgages continue to send 30% of their income to banks in the form of interest, banks turn that interest around (hypothetically) in the form of loans which allow other lucky individuals to send interest payments to the bank–if the bank doesn't just decide to invest the money in high-risk overseas securities or guaranteed annuities and fuck the loans entirely, breaking the fantasy "jerb creatin" cycle.

    B) Interest rates go down, people who haven't defaulted on their mortgages send 20% of their income to banks in the form of interest and use the leftover money to participate in the old-fashioned economic ritual of "buying shit."

    Well, I can totally see why Boehner would oppose option B. Putting cash in people's pockets? Sounds Keynesian. And Keynesian sounds like Kenyan. So that's bad, obvs.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Interest rates (specifically, the Federal Funds Rate, the one over which Bernanke has control) are in the range 0 – 0.25%

      It CANNOT GO LOWER, it's impossible.

      • MissTaken

        By shifting their balance sheet from short-term debt to long-term debt the thought is the Fed can drive interest rates on long term debt down, which has more of an impact on mortgage rates than the short term notes and bills.

        You're right, it might not work. But at this point the Fed has essentially exhausted all their options and are now just throwing anything at the problem to see if it sticks.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          I stand corrected. Do you know the mechanism whereby they do that? Is it simply an accounting trick (pointless) or is there a specific methodology?

          NM – I found it on yahoo finance.

          • DaRooster

            Never trust some "Yahoo" with your finances…

    • GOPCrusher

      That "buying shit" theory doesn't hold water anymore. I heard a Right-Wing economist say that any money the middle/lower class gets back in tax cuts will only be hoarded, since everyone is afraid for their jobs because of the Obama Economy.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        That might be true for the rich, you know, people who actually have money left over at the end of the month. Poor people, working class people, and most of the middle class don't have that luxury. There's kids' clothes and shoes and school supplies to buy, food, cleaning supplies, bus passes or gasoline, rent or mortgage, medical insurance if you have it, renters' insurance or house insurance, property taxes, city taxes, state taxes, county taxes … there's usually too much month at the end of the money.

  • user-of-owls

    Boehner (R-OH): Puttin' the Nero back in -ner (R-OH).

  • DetectiveGrey

    This actually comes at an interesting time too, considering Moody's just downgraded Bank of America, Citigroup and Wells Fargo today, due to their involvement with risky mortgage loans.

    In other news, my student debt is still over $36000 and rising.

    • Pat_Pending

      really? who's bailing you out? Didja getta TARP???

  • Callyson

    Shorter and more accurate version:
    “[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without…quantifiable benefits to the Republican candidate for president,” the Republicans write.

  • user-of-owls

    “[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people

    Ben? Just do it for fuck all. Really, just for a good old fuck all.

  • proudgrampa

    OK. I'm not a big Bernanke fan, but this is one time when he gets to stand up and say, "FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

  • SayItWithWookies

    Essentially they're telling Benanke that the American people aren't suffering enough for the Republicans to look like a viable alternative to the Democrats. When I think about the scope of that assessment, it's shocking on so many levels.

  • x111e7thst

    As long as the Feds' actions don't fuck with the yen carry trade..

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Until Tuesday, Bernanke avoided travelling to Texas. From now on, he will control the Fed's operations from Vancouver

  • flamingpdog

    “[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

    Republican intervention plan:
    (1) Clear articulation of the goals: Kick the black Nigra outta the White House.
    (2) Direction for success: Put a real (white) American back in the White House.
    (3) Ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people: Something we pulled out of our collective asses over drinks at the Nineteenth Hole.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Sounds about right. You got a mole in the RNCC, or what?

      • flamingpdog

        Yeah, I do. I got a mole on my neck, too, but unlike the one in the RNCC, it isn't cancerous.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I've read friendlier ransom notes.

    I'm surprised this wasn't written with pasted down letters cut out of magazine articles.

    • flamingpdog

      I'd be surprised if these assclowns read magazines.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      These miserable bastards are already playing hostage with the disaster relief money. Nothing that they do can possibly surprise me any more. Annoy, agitate, depress, exacerbate, but never again surprise.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Keep in mind that during the Administrations of President Bush (43) the Federal government didn't budget money for disaster relief. One of the accounting gimmicks removed by President Obama (such as running two wars off the books, Enron-style) was to actually budget disaster relief funds, instead of waiting each year for a disaster to strike and then seeking an additional, special appropriation for that purpose.

        This, of course, increased the "Obama Deficit." Mr. Obama, however, thought it was the honest way to present the fiscal picture to the American people.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          And the American People show their appreciation by never, ever looking up the information, and believing every lying sack o'shit that gets airtime most undeservedly to yawp about the deficit.

          Just the fact that he put the war debt back on the books, at $3.7 TRILLION and counting, should answer these pinche cabrones when they flap their gums about his FIVE TRILLION DEFICIT. Dumb as hair. Rick Perry's hair.

          • Tundra Grifter

            PO'D: How often did we hear Sen. John Kerry quoted for saying "I voted for the $87 Billion before I voted against it?" Well, he voted for it when there was a method in place to pay for it. He voted against it when the GNoP's took that out.

            Of course, President Bush (43) said he'd veto the legislation that actually included a payment mechanism. For some reason, that was never quoted.

            In hindsight, Sen. Kerry was wrong about the war. But he was considering his decision based on the provided information. Again, Enron-style, the Bush Administration fixed the intelligence, spread it around, and then said "Geez – Everybody agreed with us."

  • CrunchyKnee

    "…Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Jon Kyl (R-AZ), and House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA)…"

    Shit, take those four assmunches and put them into slow orbit around the sun and the entire world would be in better shape.

  • pdiddycornchips

    "“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,”

    Dear Republicans,

    STFU,

    Sincerely,
    Ben Benanke

  • genxr

    Skywriting over D.C.:

    Surrender Dorothy

  • JoshuaNorton

    Getting economic advice from a Repug makes as much sense as getting health advice for your sick horse from a bookie.

  • MistaEko

    If there is a silver lining to this, it's that investment banks have lost any qualms about giving their hoards of cash to Democrats despite their butthurt feelings.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I fucking hope so, or we'll have to string them up right after the Republicans. Geeze.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    [W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a full bathtub, comfortable choking gloves, and plans to provide spontaneous spooge remediation assistance for the Job Creators of this nation.

  • OneYieldRegular

    "Dear GOP,

    Thank you for your letter. We at the Fed take all customer complaints seriously, and are constantly working to be the best Fed out there. We greatly appreciate your feedback.

    Sincerely,
    Kimberly
    Federal Reserve Customer Service Associate

    • whiskeybaby

      I lol'd

    • Pristine_ODummy

      It's called "Customer Care," these days.

      • SorosBot

        I do love the corporate-speak that replaces normal words or phrases with ones that are completely meaningless. The other day, I passed truck from a company that, from the sign on its' side, offered "workplace solutions". They were unloading, and you know what "workplace solutions" are? Fucking office furniture. Why can't they just say office furniture, since that's what they sell? But this is the world where UPS insists they offer "logistics services", when they just ship packages.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          When TPTB in our corner of the corporate sty told us that CS was being renamed "customer care," some astute soul pointed out that we were reducing actual service and increasing charges. Needless to say, he soon found himself seeking other employment.

  • baconzgood

    Unrelated to this post:

    I just wanted to share with all you that Baconz going to skip out of work early, get hammered, and eat Thai food. SUCKAZ!!!

    (this post is 100% snark free)

    • genxr

      We submit you should resist further drinking and delicious Thai food without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to teh wonketterati.

      • baconzgood

        I don't know what that means but does it come with Sriracha and a shot of Canadian Club?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Go for it, baconz!

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Bernanke should tell the GOP leadership in a similarly strongly worded letter to go fuck themselves.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Apparently, he just did (although not so strongly worded).

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    How come all these "privatize it!", "rugged," "bootstraps" assholes love cheap FEDERAL dollars?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      They want America to convert to the Gold Coins that Beck's been pushing for the last three years. It all makes sense now. . .

  • chicken_thief

    After going ahead with his planned action, Bernanke placed a call to Dan Savage. I wonder what that's all about….

  • Radiotherapy®

    Wouldn't it have been easier if one of these ass nuts had pulled Bernanke aside and given him some "good old boy" talk? Just sayin'.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Can't do that with that nigra Sheriff in town.

  • Rotundo_

    I would say it took balls as big as churchbells and just as brassy to send a letter to the Fed chair like they did, but then I never like to attribute to guts what stupidity and arrogance explain far better.

  • Poindexter718

    Mitch Fucking McConnell wouldn't know the bond market from the Wal*Market. He should shut his pie hole when grown up economists are talking.

  • fuflans

    can't somebody – anybody, anybody out there? turn this into a successful democratic talking point?

    • GOPCrusher

      You would think that the DNC would figuring out how to use this letter in a nation wide campaign commercial for any Democrat running for office, but that would probably be "class warfare".

  • Pristine_ODummy

    Given that Rick Perry and the Repuglycan'ts, in general, have been advocating a hemp necktie for the same Bernanke that Bush appointed, I should be very surprised if Bernanke gives them anything other than the rigid digit. And I can't think of a fucking worthless, witless bunch of fucks who could possibly deserve it more.

  • mumbly_joe

    BOND LIBEL!

  • fuflans

    oh just delightful and continuing the wonkette tradition of questioning why 14 teabaggers can get national press coverage:

    'all things considered' is devoting prime time coverage to some dude from texas who wrote a 'rock anthem' called 'end the fed'.

    dude is 65. the song sucks.

    • Chichikovovich

      But I'm sure they had a wide ranging discussion about the song, with opinions that run the gamut from Ron Paul to John Kyl. And I'm sure they included a Democratic voice (Heath Schuler).

  • fuflans

    i know! i know!! let's let CONGRESS control the money supply and act as a central bank!!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    The economy was found lying in a field outside of D.C. in Maryland, sawed in half at the waist, its face cut into a jagged smile from ear to ear. The letter from Republican leaders showed up at Politico minutes after the body was discovered.

    • widget2011

      Probably to eat the brains. They are truly like "Night of the Living Dead" Zombies, they think that by eating brains, they will grow brains.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Why do Republicans hate a Republican Fed Chair that was appointed by a Republican Pres to be the head of a Republican Organization created by Republicans as an answer to the New Deal? I'm serious?

    • widget2011

      Because they truly are that stupid.

  • Troglodeity

    Well, at least they didn't threaten to have him beaten up or tried for treason. There's that.

  • glamourdammerung

    Nothing some drone strikes and a SEAL team could not fix.

  • widget2011

    Welcome to Biff Tannen's America, same shit different way of saying it. What they really mean, and they are really mean, to say is: "Get that fucking nigger out of the white house"

    Epic Fail………………….Look at the alternatives

  • Nopantsmcgee

    And the fish they wrapped in the letter wasn't even dead yet.

  • ttommyunger

    McConnell and Boehner: waking up every day wondering, "How can we be bigger dicks today than we were yesterday?". Fixed.

  • Negropolis

    "…is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol…"

    Fixed.

    The irony in all of this is that Bernanke is a Republican born-and-raised in rural South Carolina. But, his boss is a black man, and he's a Jew handling money, so that kind of negates everything, right?

    Fuck 'em. Nary a peep from them when he worked under Bush, accept for the few Paulites.

  • SorosBot

    And his closest friend and political ally Cato invented the filibuster, which still plagues our Senate of today. The right-wing have been obstructionist dickheads to protect the interest of the wealthy over everyone else for over two millennia.

  • Pristine_ODummy

    You mean the Philip Hinkle School of Legislatoring And CraigsList Boy Pickups For God? Like that?

  • HistoriCat

    Exactly!