OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY  2:40 pm September 21, 2011

Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

What he doesn't realize is that John Boehner is standing right behind him, glowering.Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. The GOP leadership, on the other hand, is more like a different firefighter who stands a little further away and fires torpedoes into the blaze in the hopes that he will be elected winner of the smoldering remains after his colleagues have been burned alive. To that end, top Republican Senate and House leaders sent a strongly-worded letter to Bernanke Tuesday warning him to leave off his latest plan to stimulate the economy, because it has a near-zero chance of making everything slightly less terrible that still rhetorically counts for more than “doing nothing, screw everybody,” as the GOP strategic plan outlines.

From TPM:

In a Tuesday letter to Bernanke, leaked to the press, Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Jon Kyl (R-AZ), and House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA), ostentatiously cautioned Bernanke against providing the economy any further monetary stimulus.

“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

Because the Fed’s monetary policy decisions are expressly intended to be immune to political pressures the letter has generated backlash from Democrats and Republicans alike.

Who even knows why they are sending creepy letters around to poor Ben Bernanke. The Fed still pretty much repeatedly tells everyone “nothing will improve, ever,” and Bernanke reportedly just wants to try out for fun (as these things usually go) some kind of short-term Treasury securities “where’d they all go?” magic routine to shush the howler monkeys while the ship sinks:

Most economists expect the Fed to announce a plan Wednesday to shift money in its $1.7 trillion portfolio out of short-term securities and into longer-term holdings.

The plan could lower Treasury yields further. Ultimately, it could reduce rates on mortgages and other consumer and business loans.

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is expected to advocate the move despite criticism from within the Fed and from Republican lawmakers and presidential candidates.

LOWER RATES ON MORTGAGES AND BUSINESS LOANS? That sounds awful! Just leave Ben Bernanke alone, mean old John Boehner. These things never really work, the poor will still get poorer, etc. [TPM/AP]

 
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{ 223 comments }

HistGuy September 21, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Tax poor people. That'll fix it. Simple math, right?

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I heard tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations fix everything as well. Might as well try it, right?

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

All that extra money not coming from their fair share would definitely help.

CommieLibunatic September 21, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Then melt them into fuel when they run out of money. Financial AND energy crises solved! Now where's my Nobel?

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 3:43 pm

For heaven's sake don't you ever read the daily talking points bulletins? Republicans do *not* want to *tax poor people*. They want to broaden the tax base. Got that? *Broaden the tax base.*
..
um…. this is Politico, right?
..
Aw crap – hey just forget what I just wrote, OK?

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Even Brookings Fellow Gregg Easterbrook got the zombie lie –"49% of all Americans pay no federal tax" — into his ostensibly non-political Tuesday Morning Quarterback column on ESPN.com Page Two. And he's a supposed liberal, being at Brookings, which is itself supposed liberal.

HistGuy September 21, 2011 at 4:55 pm

What are you? One of them socialist-types?

Boojum_Reborn September 21, 2011 at 5:22 pm

It makes poor people poorer, and just makes sense. Does it to you?

Native_of_SL_UT September 21, 2011 at 5:58 pm

It's got to improve things just due to the sheer volume of poors.
It's like what one of the engineers here said when we were trying to win a new package of business. "we'll lose money on these parts, but we'll make up for it in volume."
He's also a dittohead, so there ya go.

emmelemm September 21, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Long and convoluted "this is what that makes me think of" story:

Many years ago, Mike Daisy wrote a one-man show about working at Amazon (in the early heady days) and how Amazon acquired Pets.com (I think that was the site – with the sock puppet dog TV ads). And basically they offered "free shipping" on the pet stuff, which meant that they were eating the cost of shipping 60 pound bags of dog food and 30 pound bags of cat litter. Their rationale was, "Well, we make it up on the super high margin things, like diamond-studded dog collars."

Yes, the number of people ordering diamond-studded dog collars is OBVIOUSLY going to offset the number of people ordering 60# bags of dog food. OBVIOUSLY.

ETA: Duh, this obviously went all wrong and they discontinued it.

MonsterAGoGo September 21, 2011 at 6:18 pm

There are more poor people than rich people. It's only fair we tax the majority of people more than the oppressed minorities. Besides, once the rich pay no taxes they will create jobs. Building yachts, waxing yachts, serving drinks on yachts. Of course the Messicans still get the gardening jobs.

Barb September 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Did Boehner write it on the back of a cocktail napkin?

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm

With a golf pencil?

weejee September 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Or the back of his hand with SP30. The old Lou Sarah backhand volley.

widestanceshakedown September 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm

On the back of a punk staffer with santorum.

MissTaken September 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

With a paper towel, definitely not a napkin.

MonsterAGoGo September 21, 2011 at 6:20 pm

He had enough on his desk to write the entire GOP platfor, the next tax the poor bill, and a proposed Cuntsdelusional Amendment to ban nigras from voting or being voted for, all in block print.

Fukui_sanYesOta September 21, 2011 at 2:44 pm

How many of these fucking cockweasels have any kind of economic knowledge at all? I mean really.

It's like Joe the Plumber sending a strongly-worded letter to NASA about their choice of solid rocket propellant.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm

It's like me sending an email to Ottmar Liebert offering guitar-technique tips.

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm

It's like me writing a memo about office productivity.

Fukui_sanYesOta September 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Haha, as if you'd stop browsing the web long enough to get around to that

Preferred Customer September 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Hey! That's not a bad bullet point for the memo. Baconz, are you taking notes?

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I was too busy screwing around, what was that again?

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 3:00 pm

It's like me yelling at the footballers about how to tackle… oh… I do do that… sorry.

Boojum_Reborn September 21, 2011 at 5:23 pm

It's like me remembering … what were we talking about?

OneDollarJuana September 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm

These guys have perfect economic knowledge. Tax cuts for the rich = big campaign donations + cushy jobs upon leaving the Legislature.

Native_of_SL_UT September 21, 2011 at 6:00 pm

It's like me advising my wife on.. well, anything.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 1:07 am

It's like Sean Hannity saying, well, something to anyone about anything.

ProgressiveInga September 21, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Short version of said letter: "Whatever you do, don't do anything that will help anyone while the black guy is still in charge…"

smitallica September 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm

It's like they don't even have the courtesy to at least PRETEND they're not deliberately trying to sabotage the recovery. Isn't that…wait, what's the word…hold on…oh, I remember…TREASON?

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Have to admit, it does have slightly more tact, then the average Tea Bagger response of pistol whipping Ben Bernanke if he does anything that could help the colored boy get re-elected.

Lascauxcaveman September 21, 2011 at 2:46 pm

These are the same senators who've all said straightforwardly and out loud, in front of reporters "We're not going to do anything that will help Obama get reelected."

Easy to interpret as "anything that might actually be good for America, these next two years."

America Held Hostage: Day 973

LesPaultard September 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm

"The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president."

Not just one of our goals, or a thing to do after fixing the economy, but the single most important thing.

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:22 pm

America Held Hostage: Day 973

Hey, I remember reading those chyrons! They were only inches away from me on the TV screen! Too soon!!

Come here a minute September 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Not to worry, Bernanke never received the message. It was blocked by his spam filter.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Subject: FRUSTRATED!!1

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Dumb Old Aunt > GOP

Schmannnity September 21, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Bigger dick and bigger dickhead emails all go to spam folder.

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Trying to marginally help the economy without majorly fucking over the poor and working class is socialism Mr. Bernanke. And against freedom.

chicken_thief September 21, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Clearly he has never read the Constitution and the background material available on the intent of the Founding Fathers – Thomas "He sure was a Christian man" Jefferson, Ben "He sure was a Christian man" Franklin, and little baby Jeebus.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Was Boehner glowering or glowing in his special orange hue?

Nostrildamus September 21, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Go, Go, Orange Power Ranger!

OneDollarJuana September 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Same color as the pollution-tinted hue of a Los Angeles sunset.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm

He wants to be a Jackson Brown song.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 6:52 pm

For reasons that Freudians will undoubtedly want to analyze, I read that as "He wants to be Jackson Brown's sarong."

Perhaps it's time to hang up the keyboard till I get my eyes checked.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Boehner would make a lovely sarong for anyone. I mean, really, who could say no to this!

Oblios_Cap September 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

If Ben can figure out how to shush the howler monkeys, I'll vote for him to be our next president.

Jeez, I always thought that the GOP were assholes, but they've really gone off the tracks these last 3 years.

OneDollarJuana September 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

"Jeez, I always thought that the GOP were assholes, but they've really gone off the tracks these last 30 years. "

/fixed

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I credit a lot of that to President Obama. He has repeatedly put them in the position of opposing things that they themselves proposed less than a decade ago. He has forced them into sounding like howler monkeys.

They stand revealed in all their madness. Pretty awful sight, too.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Next up: Horse head.

Steverino247 September 21, 2011 at 4:12 pm
BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Ayuh. Exactly.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Good point. We've been concentrating on Bohner, Cantor, etc. when the first thing we have to do is get rid of Luca Brazzi.

not that Dewey September 21, 2011 at 4:56 pm

This life-size plush toy decapitated horse head sends just the right message, without ruining the sheets, and it's comfy, too!

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Awww! I love the little X's for the eyes! And that pink, velvety, lolling tongue.

not that Dewey September 21, 2011 at 11:55 pm

It's adorable, right?

I bought one, ostensibly for my dad, but Little Suzie Dewey glommed onto it when she wuz but a wee toddler. She's 4 now, and sleeps with it nightly. It's one of her faves.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 12:07 am

Totes.

But I do have this image of your wife standing there with that "I'm only not rolling my eyes because I don't want sprained eyeballs" look on her face as you hand this to the kidlet.

I wonder if I dare get one, or will it be taken over by the Evil Felines?

not that Dewey September 22, 2011 at 12:02 am

A friend of mine at work wanted to get her this Cthulhu plush toy. He was concerned that she might be freaked out by it. I said, "I gave her a decapitated horse head. How freaked out could she be?"

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 12:09 am

If you were my IRL friend or neighbour, I would be spending hours searching for bizarre plush toys for your kidlet too. Something tells me you're raising her right.

When she gets older, consider purchasing her a copy of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes. I highly recommend it. In fact, I owe all my twisted snarkth to that very tome.

BaldarTFlagass September 22, 2011 at 7:46 am

Well, maybe she'll freak out when she hears about the working conditions at the Amazon warehouse where the Cthulhu plush toy was shipped from.

bureaucrap September 21, 2011 at 2:48 pm

and if we see you exhibiting compassion, Bernanke, we will string you up for treason.

Gleem_McShineys September 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

YOU'VE WON!!!! YOU'RE EXECUTION NUMBER 350!!!!

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Compassion?!! They're not going to wait till things fall THAT far! Any sign of doing ANYthing that might improve Obama's chances of re-election will suffice for the Jew to get the hemp necktie. They've already said so. Or did Perry mean something else about how people would treat Bernanke down in Tejas?

An_Outhouse September 21, 2011 at 2:48 pm

GOD LIBEL!

Trannysurprise September 21, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I hope the fed prints up about 300 million hundred dollar bills and shoots them across the country out of the vajajay of a million Vietnamese hookers.

For laffs and to piss of the Republicans.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I'm afraid we don't have that many. We'll have to recruit multiculturally.

Swampgas_Man September 21, 2011 at 5:12 pm

It'll surely put money into the — uh — hands of the neediest!

Boojum_Reborn September 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm

So, that's three hundred shots per vajajay, which at the average rate of fire for a Vietnamese hooker, should take approximately 24 hours? Assuming we are talking about single shot âm đạo, that is.

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I'm starting to get the impression the GOP doesn't really want the economy to get better.

flamingpdog September 21, 2011 at 3:16 pm

I'm starting to get the impression that the sun comes up in the east in the morning, and that the Pope is Catholic.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I don't want to sound … skeptical, or anything, but when did you first notice these "impressions?"

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

I know it's hard to believe of such dedicated public servants, but it's just this general idea that's starting to form that maybe–just maybe–they care more about power than people.

Of course I could just be having a pessimistic day!

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I motherfucking hate these motherfucking motherfuckers.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:19 pm

There are days when I long to squeeze them like a toothpaste tube — till all the shit is squeezed right out of them.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm

At what point do we frog-march these treasonous fuckers around the mall in DC so people can throw shit at them?

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Dear Mitch McConnell, Jon Kyl, John Boehner, Eric Cantor.

I'm trying to do MY job, so fuck off and try to do yours for a change.

Choke on your rent boys cock,

Ben Bernanke

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

p.s. Mitch, you're a fucking turtle, Eric, a weasel and Boehner a tangerine… nah nah.

OneDollarJuana September 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

baconzgood, they ARE doing their jobs. Perfectly! They were hired to funnel ever-increasing amounts of our money to the rich who mostly live by skimming off funds from financial transactions. And they are very, very good at it.

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

That and to make sure the economy stays fucked until November 2012 in hopes that voters will blame Obama and they can make the White House white again.

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

So they can fuck up the economy s'more for the next Democrat so they can have him blamed and win the White House. Perpetual motion politics.

Lascauxcaveman September 21, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I'll tell ya, if I was a 2012 Dem candidate at any level above county commish, my stump speeches would be an endless loop tirade against the Party of No.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 1:15 am

…so that they can funnel ever-increasing amounts of our money to the rich who mostly live by skimming off funds from financial transactions.

See? It's the circle of life.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Not to be picky, baconz, but you really need to specify whether you mean "rent boy's cock" or "rent boys' COCKZ." There might be confusion in teabagland, otherwise.

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 7:16 pm

imma ganna mark you Prissy. I love my spellin' and grammar corrected. 19 years of education and no one has EVER brought that up once.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 8:16 pm

You're gonna thank me when all those nekkid hairy saggy old Republicans DON'T turn up on your doorstep looking for rent-boy cock!

Wait, no, wut?

genxr September 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Look I'm having enough trouble feeding my family on $600k/year. Now you're going to lower the interest I earn on my monies? Clazz warfarez!

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Did the "journalist" interviewing that schmuck even *bother* to remind him that that is TEN TIMES what the average American family of four has to live on for the year?

Gratuitous World September 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

but since these same asshats refused to fund the US Postal Service, the letter never reached Bernanke.

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"Don't you dare attempt at making the economy any better. We have to wait to do that until after the election".

(but of course)

Swampgas_Man September 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm

If only they could actually DO something after the election, but then it's time to scare the peoplez about all the Dems who managed to pull out a win. . . .

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Where are the jobs, Boehner? You promised us jobs if you were Speaker; and now you are and you're trying to make sure we have no new jobs. 0

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm

i know right? they should be getting this thrown in their face on a daily basis. they shrieked and shrieked about jobs in the 2010 campaign. when they got into office they tried to repeal health care and outlaw abortion. then they threw an unholy fit about the debt THEY helped run up and forced ill-advised tightening on a fragile economy. and hey presto! the economy – which was showing signs of life – tanked again, taking unemployment to greater depths. now they're meddling in fed policy for purely political ends.

gaw!!! i hate them.

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 4:11 pm

And Mitch McConnell said his number 1 priority was to make sure to put Obama out of a job.
Why does Yertle The Turtle want to increase the number of unemployed?

kissawookiee September 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Did you personally walk up to Boehner and offer to blow him for bus fare? Because those are the kinds of jobs I figure he meant.

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Did I read that correctly the other day? The Tea Baggers plan on running someone against Boehner in a primary because they are butt hurt that he negotiated with Obama on the debt ceiling?

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 6:57 pm

That's right. And yon worthy lout has already sounded the challenge by calling Boner a "soshulist."

Sometimes, being in their Looking-Glass World makes my brain hurt.

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

"…particularly without a clear articulation of the goals…"

The goal is to make things better on the people that overpay your moronic asses… pretty simple… like you bags of snot.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

The four assholes of the conservaclypse.

smokefilleddoommate September 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

"This is Obama's shitty economy and we need it to stay that way."

chicken_thief September 21, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Yes. The fundamentals of the economy were sound and all was just hunky dory until 1/20/09.

Mumbletypeg September 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

“the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

Seems this edict of accountability might've been more usefully uttered, say, in the direction of the feckless Wall street architects of our economic downturn?

WhatTheHeck September 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm

“It is a far better thing to let this country descend into chaos than to let a black man steer us out of perilous times which white men created,” the Republicans write.

chicken_thief September 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Then attributed it to St Ronald, just for giggles.

Chet Kincaid September 21, 2011 at 4:31 pm

That has a stirring ring to it. Where's that piece of granite I had lying around?

Ducksworthy September 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

GOP's new slogan "We broke it and we dare you to try and fix it. So there! Neener neener neener"

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Actually, it is "We broke it, and we won't let you try to fix it."

AlterNewt September 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm

The Republicans are naturally accusing Mr. B and the Fed of actions intended to help the President and they must be, because, look around you.

V572 T-Blow September 21, 2011 at 2:59 pm

McConnell, Kyl, Boehner and Cantor: four men of quality, well-known for their uncompromising dedication to the good of the Nation, whatever the political consequences.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Mister Mxyzptlk, is that you?

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm

OK, V572 T-Blow, repeat after me: "Kltpzyxm"

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Did the versions of those four who acted like that all have goatees?

jus_wonderin September 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Yes. Now, I'll be down in Engineering talking to Scotty. Swoosh…….Swoosh.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Was a thoughtful, non-racist version of Eric Cartman with them?

DetectiveGrey September 21, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Come on, Bernake, and do the Twist.

gullywompr September 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm

These signatories are the same yeast infections that are always demanding written detailed plans, thinking they can tie up things with research assistants and red tape. Three pages too long? How about just two words, yeasties?

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm

You know who else wanted to destroy a countries long term economy for short term political gains? NO SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANYONE ELSE WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!?!?!

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Fellow right-wing thug Marcus Calpunius Bibulus? Actually it would be fun to see this repeated with them:

"Caesar presented his bill at the Assembly anyway, and when Bibulus tried to intervene, the crowd broke his fasces and dumped feces on him."

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Pity they didn't break his face, too.

TanzbodenKoenig September 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Robert Mugabe?

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm

John F. Kennedy, with respect Cuba?

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Or Thomas Jefferson, to Haiti – the South couldn't have an example of a successful nation started by slave revolt just down in the Caribbean.

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm

well kim jong il but, of course, he's considered a sociopath.

oh wait…

WhatTheHeck September 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm

The Ayatolla of Rock-n-Rolla?

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Nixon/Kissinger and the Chilean generals wreaked massive havoc on the economy of Chile under Allende, to create a pretext for a bloody coup and a ruthless dictatorship lasting decades.

Chet Kincaid September 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm

They also wrote an obnoxious letter to the FLOTUS, priggishly requesting that she not "distract" the President from his duties by "giving him any" until November 7, 2012.

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

So now they think Barry's a prize fighter in training?

Chet Kincaid September 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm

If he's "edgy", he might "lash out." Then, The People lynch him at the polls!

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 1:34 am

God, how these fuckers wish they could lynch him on a pole.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 1:29 pm

And it's so obvious that that's what they're thinking. Much as I want to criticize my President, I fear they will tear him to pieces right before my eyes if I do.

Warpde September 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm

What the hell Bernanke?
Lower intrest rates and force homeowners to quit their 3rd job flipping burgers at McD's
because they won't need too?
How un-american of you sir.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm

"That's a real nice Federal Reserve you got there, Mr Bernanke. We'd sure hate to see anything, uh, bad happen to it."

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I can just see them fondling the pillars as they say this.

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

So, the Republicans officially want to make sure that no one tries anything to fix the economy.

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 4:03 pm

this was my exact and first thought when i heard this nonsense this AM.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Their asses should be blistered for this. Had we a media. In lieu of that, I can't wait to hear their talking points in defense of this on the Sunday old men talking shows. With no Dems to rebut. Me, I'll be watching Chris Hayes.

SudsMcKenzie September 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm

One, or two, of the Koch Brothers just had to go to the restroom to "freshen up".

Gleem_McShineys September 21, 2011 at 3:22 pm

People thought it was odd that moments after hearing the news, they had chosen that moment to joke around, re-enacting that restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally.

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Ok, so now I am completely upside down. On Monday, Obama gets out his shiv and goes after the Republicans all 'Chicago-style,' saying they're social chiggers and calling out Boehner by name. On Wednesday, the Republicans issue a 'strongly worded letter.'

Exactly when did the two parties swap sides and turn into each other?

Goonemeritus September 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

And Ben has responded with a Fuck You I’m doing it any way. Its not like the Fed answers to these jerks anyway, the sad truth is that only the non-democratic parts of our government seem to be functioning at this point.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm

I hope that Ben also sends them a note saying "Remember Peter Diamond – the Nobel Prize winning economist and specialist in unemployment that you refused to allow to be confirmed to the Federal Reserve? Well, I talk to him *every day*."

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 5:48 pm

That's OK. When President Paul takes office, Bernanke and the rest of the Fed will be out on the streets looking for a job.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 7:01 pm

I made the sad mistake of stating at some online forum that Ron Paul would never be the President of this nation. Man, those Paultrads are a humourless lot, aren't they?

edgydrifter September 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Let's take a look at the options here…

A) Interest rates stay where they are, people who haven't defaulted on their mortgages continue to send 30% of their income to banks in the form of interest, banks turn that interest around (hypothetically) in the form of loans which allow other lucky individuals to send interest payments to the bank–if the bank doesn't just decide to invest the money in high-risk overseas securities or guaranteed annuities and fuck the loans entirely, breaking the fantasy "jerb creatin" cycle.

B) Interest rates go down, people who haven't defaulted on their mortgages send 20% of their income to banks in the form of interest and use the leftover money to participate in the old-fashioned economic ritual of "buying shit."

Well, I can totally see why Boehner would oppose option B. Putting cash in people's pockets? Sounds Keynesian. And Keynesian sounds like Kenyan. So that's bad, obvs.

Fukui_sanYesOta September 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Interest rates (specifically, the Federal Funds Rate, the one over which Bernanke has control) are in the range 0 – 0.25%

It CANNOT GO LOWER, it's impossible.

MissTaken September 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm

By shifting their balance sheet from short-term debt to long-term debt the thought is the Fed can drive interest rates on long term debt down, which has more of an impact on mortgage rates than the short term notes and bills.

You're right, it might not work. But at this point the Fed has essentially exhausted all their options and are now just throwing anything at the problem to see if it sticks.

Fukui_sanYesOta September 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I stand corrected. Do you know the mechanism whereby they do that? Is it simply an accounting trick (pointless) or is there a specific methodology?

NM – I found it on yahoo finance.

DaRooster September 22, 2011 at 10:56 am

Never trust some "Yahoo" with your finances…

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 5:51 pm

That "buying shit" theory doesn't hold water anymore. I heard a Right-Wing economist say that any money the middle/lower class gets back in tax cuts will only be hoarded, since everyone is afraid for their jobs because of the Obama Economy.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm

That might be true for the rich, you know, people who actually have money left over at the end of the month. Poor people, working class people, and most of the middle class don't have that luxury. There's kids' clothes and shoes and school supplies to buy, food, cleaning supplies, bus passes or gasoline, rent or mortgage, medical insurance if you have it, renters' insurance or house insurance, property taxes, city taxes, state taxes, county taxes … there's usually too much month at the end of the money.

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Boehner (R-OH): Puttin' the Nero back in -ner (R-OH).

DetectiveGrey September 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm

This actually comes at an interesting time too, considering Moody's just downgraded Bank of America, Citigroup and Wells Fargo today, due to their involvement with risky mortgage loans.

In other news, my student debt is still over $36000 and rising.

Pat_Pending September 21, 2011 at 4:05 pm

really? who's bailing you out? Didja getta TARP???

Callyson September 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Shorter and more accurate version:
“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without…quantifiable benefits to the Republican candidate for president,” the Republicans write.

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:16 pm

“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people

Ben? Just do it for fuck all. Really, just for a good old fuck all.

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 3:19 pm

OK. I'm not a big Bernanke fan, but this is one time when he gets to stand up and say, "FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

SayItWithWookies September 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Essentially they're telling Benanke that the American people aren't suffering enough for the Republicans to look like a viable alternative to the Democrats. When I think about the scope of that assessment, it's shocking on so many levels.

x111e7thst September 21, 2011 at 3:22 pm

As long as the Feds' actions don't fuck with the yen carry trade..

BTWBFDIMHO September 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Until Tuesday, Bernanke avoided travelling to Texas. From now on, he will control the Fed's operations from Vancouver

flamingpdog September 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm

“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,” the Republicans write.

Republican intervention plan:
(1) Clear articulation of the goals: Kick the black Nigra outta the White House.
(2) Direction for success: Put a real (white) American back in the White House.
(3) Ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people: Something we pulled out of our collective asses over drinks at the Nineteenth Hole.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Sounds about right. You got a mole in the RNCC, or what?

flamingpdog September 21, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Yeah, I do. I got a mole on my neck, too, but unlike the one in the RNCC, it isn't cancerous.

Tundra Grifter September 21, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I've read friendlier ransom notes.

I'm surprised this wasn't written with pasted down letters cut out of magazine articles.

flamingpdog September 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I'd be surprised if these assclowns read magazines.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm

These miserable bastards are already playing hostage with the disaster relief money. Nothing that they do can possibly surprise me any more. Annoy, agitate, depress, exacerbate, but never again surprise.

Tundra Grifter September 21, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Keep in mind that during the Administrations of President Bush (43) the Federal government didn't budget money for disaster relief. One of the accounting gimmicks removed by President Obama (such as running two wars off the books, Enron-style) was to actually budget disaster relief funds, instead of waiting each year for a disaster to strike and then seeking an additional, special appropriation for that purpose.

This, of course, increased the "Obama Deficit." Mr. Obama, however, thought it was the honest way to present the fiscal picture to the American people.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 7:07 pm

And the American People show their appreciation by never, ever looking up the information, and believing every lying sack o'shit that gets airtime most undeservedly to yawp about the deficit.

Just the fact that he put the war debt back on the books, at $3.7 TRILLION and counting, should answer these pinche cabrones when they flap their gums about his FIVE TRILLION DEFICIT. Dumb as hair. Rick Perry's hair.

Tundra Grifter September 22, 2011 at 11:08 am

PO'D: How often did we hear Sen. John Kerry quoted for saying "I voted for the $87 Billion before I voted against it?" Well, he voted for it when there was a method in place to pay for it. He voted against it when the GNoP's took that out.

Of course, President Bush (43) said he'd veto the legislation that actually included a payment mechanism. For some reason, that was never quoted.

In hindsight, Sen. Kerry was wrong about the war. But he was considering his decision based on the provided information. Again, Enron-style, the Bush Administration fixed the intelligence, spread it around, and then said "Geez – Everybody agreed with us."

CrunchyKnee September 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm

"…Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Jon Kyl (R-AZ), and House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA)…"

Shit, take those four assmunches and put them into slow orbit around the sun and the entire world would be in better shape.

pdiddycornchips September 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm

"“[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to the American people,”

Dear Republicans,

STFU,

Sincerely,
Ben Benanke

genxr September 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Skywriting over D.C.:

Surrender Dorothy

JoshuaNorton September 21, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Getting economic advice from a Repug makes as much sense as getting health advice for your sick horse from a bookie.

MistaEko September 21, 2011 at 3:35 pm

If there is a silver lining to this, it's that investment banks have lost any qualms about giving their hoards of cash to Democrats despite their butthurt feelings.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I fucking hope so, or we'll have to string them up right after the Republicans. Geeze.

Gleem_McShineys September 21, 2011 at 3:45 pm

[W]e submit that the board should resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy, particularly without a full bathtub, comfortable choking gloves, and plans to provide spontaneous spooge remediation assistance for the Job Creators of this nation.

OneYieldRegular September 21, 2011 at 3:48 pm

"Dear GOP,

Thank you for your letter. We at the Fed take all customer complaints seriously, and are constantly working to be the best Fed out there. We greatly appreciate your feedback.

Sincerely,
Kimberly
Federal Reserve Customer Service Associate

whiskeybaby September 21, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I lol'd

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm

It's called "Customer Care," these days.

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 4:54 pm

I do love the corporate-speak that replaces normal words or phrases with ones that are completely meaningless. The other day, I passed truck from a company that, from the sign on its' side, offered "workplace solutions". They were unloading, and you know what "workplace solutions" are? Fucking office furniture. Why can't they just say office furniture, since that's what they sell? But this is the world where UPS insists they offer "logistics services", when they just ship packages.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 7:12 pm

When TPTB in our corner of the corporate sty told us that CS was being renamed "customer care," some astute soul pointed out that we were reducing actual service and increasing charges. Needless to say, he soon found himself seeking other employment.

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Unrelated to this post:

I just wanted to share with all you that Baconz going to skip out of work early, get hammered, and eat Thai food. SUCKAZ!!!

(this post is 100% snark free)

genxr September 21, 2011 at 4:03 pm

We submit you should resist further drinking and delicious Thai food without a clear articulation of the goals of such a policy, direction for success, ample data proving a case for economic action and quantifiable benefits to teh wonketterati.

baconzgood September 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I don't know what that means but does it come with Sriracha and a shot of Canadian Club?

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Go for it, baconz!

Mort_Sinclair September 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Bernanke should tell the GOP leadership in a similarly strongly worded letter to go fuck themselves.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Apparently, he just did (although not so strongly worded).

KeepFnThatChicken September 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm

How come all these "privatize it!", "rugged," "bootstraps" assholes love cheap FEDERAL dollars?

NorthStarSpanx September 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm

They want America to convert to the Gold Coins that Beck's been pushing for the last three years. It all makes sense now. . .

chicken_thief September 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm

After going ahead with his planned action, Bernanke placed a call to Dan Savage. I wonder what that's all about….

Radiotherapy® September 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Wouldn't it have been easier if one of these ass nuts had pulled Bernanke aside and given him some "good old boy" talk? Just sayin'.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Can't do that with that nigra Sheriff in town.

Rotundo_ September 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I would say it took balls as big as churchbells and just as brassy to send a letter to the Fed chair like they did, but then I never like to attribute to guts what stupidity and arrogance explain far better.

Poindexter718 September 21, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Mitch Fucking McConnell wouldn't know the bond market from the Wal*Market. He should shut his pie hole when grown up economists are talking.

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 4:06 pm

can't somebody – anybody, anybody out there? turn this into a successful democratic talking point?

GOPCrusher September 21, 2011 at 5:55 pm

You would think that the DNC would figuring out how to use this letter in a nation wide campaign commercial for any Democrat running for office, but that would probably be "class warfare".

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Given that Rick Perry and the Repuglycan'ts, in general, have been advocating a hemp necktie for the same Bernanke that Bush appointed, I should be very surprised if Bernanke gives them anything other than the rigid digit. And I can't think of a fucking worthless, witless bunch of fucks who could possibly deserve it more.

mumbly_joe September 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm

BOND LIBEL!

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm

oh just delightful and continuing the wonkette tradition of questioning why 14 teabaggers can get national press coverage:

'all things considered' is devoting prime time coverage to some dude from texas who wrote a 'rock anthem' called 'end the fed'.

dude is 65. the song sucks.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm

But I'm sure they had a wide ranging discussion about the song, with opinions that run the gamut from Ron Paul to John Kyl. And I'm sure they included a Democratic voice (Heath Schuler).

fuflans September 21, 2011 at 4:19 pm

i know! i know!! let's let CONGRESS control the money supply and act as a central bank!!

Chet Kincaid September 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

The economy was found lying in a field outside of D.C. in Maryland, sawed in half at the waist, its face cut into a jagged smile from ear to ear. The letter from Republican leaders showed up at Politico minutes after the body was discovered.

widget2011 September 21, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Probably to eat the brains. They are truly like "Night of the Living Dead" Zombies, they think that by eating brains, they will grow brains.

FakaktaSouth September 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Why do Republicans hate a Republican Fed Chair that was appointed by a Republican Pres to be the head of a Republican Organization created by Republicans as an answer to the New Deal? I'm serious?

widget2011 September 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Because they truly are that stupid.

Troglodeity September 21, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Well, at least they didn't threaten to have him beaten up or tried for treason. There's that.

glamourdammerung September 21, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Nothing some drone strikes and a SEAL team could not fix.

widget2011 September 21, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Welcome to Biff Tannen's America, same shit different way of saying it. What they really mean, and they are really mean, to say is: "Get that fucking nigger out of the white house"

Epic Fail………………….Look at the alternatives

Nopantsmcgee September 21, 2011 at 6:26 pm

And the fish they wrapped in the letter wasn't even dead yet.

ttommyunger September 21, 2011 at 10:27 pm

McConnell and Boehner: waking up every day wondering, "How can we be bigger dicks today than we were yesterday?". Fixed.

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 12:54 am

"…is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol…"

Fixed.

The irony in all of this is that Bernanke is a Republican born-and-raised in rural South Carolina. But, his boss is a black man, and he's a Jew handling money, so that kind of negates everything, right?

Fuck 'em. Nary a peep from them when he worked under Bush, accept for the few Paulites.

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:56 pm

With the intern?

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:57 pm

But that would not be "civilizing the discourse".

*Only applies to Democrats.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm

You mean baconz is really Newtered Gingr Itch?

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I got their civil discourse right fucking heah.

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm

And his closest friend and political ally Cato invented the filibuster, which still plagues our Senate of today. The right-wing have been obstructionist dickheads to protect the interest of the wealthy over everyone else for over two millennia.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm

You mean the Philip Hinkle School of Legislatoring And CraigsList Boy Pickups For God? Like that?

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 8:14 pm

We'll have to find a soundproofed location to store him in while we beat him flat.

HistoriCat September 21, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Exactly!

not that Dewey September 22, 2011 at 8:16 am

Ironic, isn't it? Cthulhu himself could not have thought up a business plan that involved ambulances parked outside the warehouse. Brilliant!

not that Dewey September 22, 2011 at 8:35 am

One of the EVIL AMAZON customer reviews invoked a comparison to Edward Gorey. I am so buying that book! (As soon as I find an alternate retailer. Baldar is listening!)

Another Wonketter on a recent thread recommended this wonderful children's book. The "inspired by Wonket" section of my bookcase is the cause of much eye-rolling, indeed!

not that Dewey September 22, 2011 at 8:41 am

At first she couldn't understand why I bought it at all. "Who's gonna want that?" Ha!

Little did she realize that it would become the most coveted and talked-about item in our stable of child-abuse paraphernalia.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Gotta watch out for that Baldar. He hears everything, sees everything.

That looks like a great book. When I opined as how I didn't know a kid I hated enough to inflict it upon, several generous Wonketteerz offered Rick Santorum's tantrum-throwing daughter.

Pristine_ODummy September 22, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I like to think that your little girl will grow up to be a Wonketteer, even if the Wonketz no longer exist by the time she's an adult. It's important to get 'em while they're young, before they get bland and boring thanks to the pressures of school and OBEY/CONFORM.

Now I really want that horsehead.

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