Fox News Proves Climate Change Is Fake Since Liar Bill Clinton Says It’s Real

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

The exasperating cabal of global warming-denier turds who make, eh, we’ll say “the entire planet give or take a few” feel ashamed for America can still hold their heads high, because monstrous fibber Bill Clinton thinks they’re idiots, ergo, they are not. Science as a whole should probably sneak off to a corner and sob, because Bill Clinton is on its team. SO THERE.

[Fox Nation]

 

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{ 133 comments }

Barb September 21, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Just watch, this winter will be colder than Sarah Palin's titty and we can all say, "told ya so."

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Is Texas still on fire?

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Whenever Perry's around Paris, TX is burning.

NickDanger007 September 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I always agreed with General Sherman, who said if he owned Texas and Hell, he'd rent out Texas and live in Hell. Seems he had the right idea.

Come here a minute September 21, 2011 at 1:07 pm

MSNBC's headline is "Popular Vote Winner in 2000 Presidential Election Absolutely Sure Climate Change No Hoax".

freakishlywrong September 21, 2011 at 1:08 pm

You can’t win the nomination of one of the major parties in the country if you admit that the scientists are right?

No. Bill. You cant. These are people that believe Jesus parked his dinosaur and wrote the constitution while the founders were off fighting to abolish slavery. I mean, duhh, where ya been?

V572 T-Blow September 21, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Are you saying this isn't a valid photograph?

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I would think Jesus, being all peaceful and shit, would ride a Brontosaurus… like Fred used in the quarry… that I could get behind.

V572 T-Blow September 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Manly, kick-ass Jeebus rode T-Rex, and packed a Glock loaded with hollow-points.

elviouslyqueer September 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm

FAP FAP FAP.

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Or that the Flintstones wasn't a documentary?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Clearly the Flinstones wasn't a documentary, as no one that looked like Fred or Barney would be married to hotties like they were.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Haven't seen The King Of Queens, huh?

Steverino247 September 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm

No shit! I always wondered about that as a kid.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Scale is totally off. Jesus would've been, like, a tiny nodule behind T-Rex's elbow.

Dashboard_Jesus September 22, 2011 at 1:17 am

hey who you callin' a tiny nodule? why that's insultin' to my manhood! (godhood?)

MittsHairHelmet September 21, 2011 at 1:10 pm

I always find it amazing how the wingnuts have these memes from the last 30 years that they constantly recycle as if they were current events. I mean, within a couple minutes at the first GOP debate with Perry, there was a Dukakis joke and an Al Gore inventing the internet joke. I mean, even the 2000 election was a decade ago.

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm

After Cheney shot his friend in the face, there were bumper stickers "I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy."

Seriously, you needed to go back that far for the equivalency spin?

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:28 pm

"Whaddaya mean, we're racist?!?! Senator Byrd was a member of the KKK!"

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm

My favorite: We're not racist because Lincoln was a Republican.

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm

RINO.

HelmutNewton September 21, 2011 at 2:00 pm

It's not too surprising, really. The whole conservative mindset is always several years (or decades) out of date. That's why the birthers are saving their latest "smoking gun" for January 2017, when Obama leaves office.

CommieLibunatic September 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Out with the old, in with the older.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 21, 2011 at 9:40 pm

You have to take into account those eight years that didn't happen, and are erased from the teatards' memories.

Only libruls still think there could possibly have been a Republican president who was a total fuckup.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Do they *know* that, though? I mean, most of those people look like they're on enough meds to blow out what's left of their gray matter.

DaRooster September 21, 2011 at 1:10 pm

I thought Nixon was dead?

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Ouija board.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Mojo Nixon lives!!!

poncho_pilot September 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm
proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
NickDanger007 September 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm

He wasn't impeached. He resigned to avoid impeachment and save his pension. Aug. 9, 1974–ought to be a national holiday.

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Maybe to YOU, buddy.

hagajim September 21, 2011 at 1:11 pm

He askes the question as to why you can't win a nomination for the GOP if you believe in climate change….musta been rhetorical, because everyone knows the GOP has been ransacked, raped and pillaged by the no-nothings.

imissopus September 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm

SENILE OLD AUSTRALIAN TELLS AMERICANS WHAT TO THINK.

edgydrifter September 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I was busy reading the "Virile, Beloved Former Commander-In-Chief Bravely Clearing Dangerous Brush From Family Ranch" article.

KeepFnThatChicken September 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Weird. I thought it was "New Dallas Suburbanite Still Loves Pretzels"

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Unlikely – the moment the need for photo-ops stopped, W. and Barb bought a place in the city, and brush-clearing became a distant memory. Sort of like Bush I's purported "ordinary guy" love of pork rinds and hot sauce.

V572 Moon! September 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm

We got over that embarrassment in 1925, with the Scopes trial.

KeepFnThatChicken September 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Dammit, I wish you were right.

Last year, I was in Dayton, Tennessee, and I visited the Rhea County Courthouse where the Scopes trial took place. During my (self-guided) tour, I listened to the interpreter give a rundown of the events to another visitor, who became rather animated. "Wha, EVER ONE knows that we didn't come from no stupid monkeys."

I could not make this shit up. 86 years later, and for some folk in a small Tennessee town, the rhetoric hasn't changed a bit.

V572 T-Blow September 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm

We’re still stoopid…but we don’t care who knows it. USA! USA!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 24, 2011 at 4:40 am

Well, Scopes did lose the trial.

Callyson September 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm

“I mean, it makes us – we look like a joke, right?"
*Look* like? In a nation where Saint Sarah can pull within 5% in the latest poll, I'd say appearance became reality a while ago…

metamarcisf September 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Steve Doocy, PhD and Gretchen Carlson, PhD, are both Nobel Prize-winning climate scientists. Doocy proved that the speed of sound exceeds the speed of light in a vacuum cleaner while Carlson once gave a hummer to Geraldo in the bottom of an elevator shaft. I think we know who to believe here.

Mumbletypeg September 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Steve Doocy, PhD and Gretchen Carlson, PhD

Their PhD in anything science-y is news to me, as is your long-last emergence from the negative pee zone – congrats, I think? Your appearance now looks so..'tame' without the flame-red.
Re: Doocy/Gretch: Methinks one or both of them earned a ADhD in simple sense.

MissTaken September 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

For god's sake people, this man got a blow job, from a woman! And you want to listen to him about anything?! Are you crazy?!

metamarcisf September 21, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Then you certainly don't want to listen to me this morning.

MissTaken September 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Congratulations!

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

And — he paid her in Canadian payment.

Win.

Steverino247 September 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Unfortunately, you can listen to me…

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Yeah, I'm a regular burning bush/oracle.

Guppy06 September 21, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Have we inspected Mary Magdalene's outfits for any signs of, shall we say, Onan's sin?

KeepFnThatChicken September 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm

He has to be a liar, because women don't give blowjobs.

I SHOULD KNOW

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 9:02 am

Then you're doing it wrong.

MildMidwesterner September 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

next headling: "Phone Hacking Tabloid Makes Moral Judgements"

Not_So_Much September 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

This logic is irrefudiateable.

AlterNewt September 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Ipso facto

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Q.E.D.

AlterNewt September 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm

OMG!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 24, 2011 at 4:42 am

wtf?

Goonemeritus September 21, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I find it Ironic that the population in the North east of our Country that stand to on balance get a slightly more hospitable environment largely believe in Global Warming. While the God bothers in the Bible belt and the South West are the largely in the denial camp. These are the very people who will need to grow gills or spend their life in fire proof underwear or perhaps both.

James Michael Curley September 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Hoping Al gore is right. I'm overlooking the ocean twenty six feet above sea level and Brother Al says the worst case senario is twenty two feet.

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 2:59 pm

"Got some Ocean Front Property in Arizona."

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 9:03 am

I can't wait for the palm trees along the lakes here in Michigan. It's going to be a beautiful thing.

iburl September 21, 2011 at 1:19 pm

This is also the same reason no Teabagger has sex. Bill Clinton did it.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:19 pm

These deniers are like the r3tarded uncle America keeps hidden in the basement, except we put him out in the front yard with a fucking bullhorn.

Schmannnity September 21, 2011 at 2:10 pm

r3tarded? Kudos.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Tax cuts for the word creators!

user-of-owls September 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Oh, you weren't here for the, um,…the, er…the Late Uncomfortableness related to the sort of spelling of that word that you might find in say a dictionary, were you?

You're lucky. For a good while, we were all asking, "is it too soon to laugh?" On Wonkette.

tihond September 21, 2011 at 1:19 pm

This is the same reason Fox News doesn't believe oral sex exists.

NorthStarSpanx September 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm

And that sodomy is still classified as a criminal act in so many States.

widestanceshakedown September 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Really, there is something very wrong with oral sex deniers.

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm

You know the old statistic: 98% of people masturbate, the other 2% are liars.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt…

AJWjr. September 23, 2011 at 10:03 am

Especially those that deny me.

jus_wonderin September 21, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Gaaahhhhhh. No, that's not a sound Monica makes from under the desk.

MissTaken September 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Why are they so stuck in the past? Yesterday with the Schweddy Balls and now Clinton impeachment crap. What's next? "You know on that show Will and Grace she's a straight woman living with an openly GAY man"!

tihond September 21, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Will just hasn't met the right lady, just like that kind Liberace fellow that used to be on the teevee.

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 2:07 pm

What I found fascinating about that show was that, to my recollection, he NEVER had a date (with a guy) in the entire series. Moral (?): It's OK to be gay as long as you don't see anyone? WTF?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 24, 2011 at 4:44 am

The model for DADT.

arihaya September 22, 2011 at 4:29 am

well, their most famous celebrities are Pat Boone and Chuck Norris,

that says it all about how stuck-in-the-past they are

GregComlish September 25, 2011 at 4:04 pm

what about that shitty SNL wash-up from the early 90s? The one who always played incredibly stupid women in every single role and still does?

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 9:05 am

Hell, they'll still be banging on about Murphy Brown if we'd let them. And that little Bart fella' on what's the sow? The Johnsons or some shit?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Actually, by FOX News standards, this is pretty logical. Why should you listen to anyone that got a blow job? Now, if he was smearing falafel on someone, or sending the FOX Police out to silence someone, or just making stuff up, that would make him credible.

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Or tapping the phones of politicians, celebrities and crime victims, and bribing the cops to cover it up.

starfanglednut September 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Blow jobs are ok. They just need to be through a glory hole in a men's bathroom.

widestanceshakedown September 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Why is faith-based climatology being attacked??!11!!??///

(And something in the Constitution needs to be amended to stop that)

elviouslyqueer September 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Oh yea? Well, I've got a screaming headline of my own:

FABULOUS FAG ELVIOUSLYQUEER SAYS FOX NEWS EMBARRASSES PEOPLE WITH IQS HIGHER THAN THEIR WAIST SIZES.

Schmannnity September 21, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Unfortunately, some of those waist sizes are in the normal IQ range.

Dr_Zoidberg September 21, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Well, thank Cthulhu that Faux News finally settled that argument. Now, what's next on the agenda?

SayItWithWookies September 21, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Kudos to FoxNation for sticking with the relevant facts — that you can't believe anything from a man who lies about sex. Which means, I imagine, that we're going to change the Constitution so that the nation is governed entirely by people eleven years old or younger.

ttommyunger September 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm

I'll say this much: if anybody knows about embarrassing America, its Bill Clinton.

ProudLibunatic September 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Yeah, how embarrassing was it for America that a President was impeached for trying to cover up a blow job.

(I think France was snickering at us.)

ttommyunger September 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm

No shit. What a fucking dipshit: acting like he was a Chick Fil A Manager, fer Chrissakes!

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 9:07 am

Embarrassing America?! Hell, Europe would have given him medals of honor for that scandal if they had thought that they could have gotten away with it.

ttommyunger September 22, 2011 at 12:45 pm

I've had MANY blowjobs in and around my workplace over the years but I've never carried that kind of responsibility on my shoulders. I'm no prude, but when a man accepts a position of honor and responsibility he also accepts certain restrictions on his behaviors. Clinton never understood the great difference between Bill Clinton and The President of the United States; I first realized that when he answered the underwear question like a simpering high school football hero rather than diplomatically demurring. The resulting debacle drug our Country through the seamiest side of human indecency on TV and in the Newspapers. I prefer to keep my seamy side private, that's all.

Schmannnity September 22, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Forget about it Jake, it's Chinatown, I mean Arkansas. They are all razorbacks in most respects.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm

OUT-OF-COURT-SETTLING SEX PERVERT HAS HIS OWN TV SHOW!!! TONIGHT AT 8!!!

Fukui_sanYesOta September 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Well, since FOX has been proven to lie, and since Billy C has lied, I'm now confused as to whether climate change is real or not.

Oh wait, that entire line of argument makes no fucking sense at all. Science FTW!

chascates September 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Acquitted by the Senate former President has more credibility than half-term former Alaskan governor and her crazed allies.

Steverino247 September 21, 2011 at 1:44 pm

The good news about climate change would be if humans are responsible because then we could do something about it. Like we did with CFC's and the Ozone layer.

The bad news about climate change would be if humans are powerless to do anything about it because then we'd be completely fucked.

Oh, and about the sea level rising? Don't forget there's another place some of that water can go. It's called humidity and it is getting worse, too.

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Can you cite a study about rising humidity? Just curious.

All I know is, where I live, when it's hot it's a DRY heat. Maybe we'll end up like the planet Venus.

Steverino247 September 21, 2011 at 2:40 pm

No study, just personal observation. If you heat water, some of it turns to vapor, though. All I've seen is direct ice to liquid calculations (as in X much ice becomes Y amount of water), but some of it has to evaporate. Climate change implies any kind of change–more dry, more wet, etc.

terrydarc September 22, 2011 at 11:59 am

Rupert Murdoch and his lord-of-dystopia friends can always buy land high enough above the rising tide.

Tommmcattt September 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I got a blowjob from a woman. Once. It was mildly amusing in a kind of camp way.

I did not know it would discredit me from public life of any kind, however. Live and learn, I guess.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Was she trying to "bring you back" to "normal"? If so, she definitely chose the wrong way to go about it, one would think…

Tommmcattt September 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I dunno, it was the nineties, I was high most of the time. I was just out of the closet, and she was a club buddy of mine and it just kind of happened. Boys are better at it IMHO, but there may be bias in that statement. Possibly.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm

From this side of the fence, I think it would be the razor stubble that would put me off.

Tommmcattt September 21, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Are you kidding? Best part!

widestanceshakedown September 21, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Exfoliating chin action has its merits, trust me.

widestanceshakedown September 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

That's somewhat like my never-again Tequila Story.

And my bias agrees.

starfanglednut September 21, 2011 at 5:18 pm

You see that Seinfeld episode? "They own this equipment." Hilarious.

HempDogbane September 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Was it "mildly amusing" enough that you might recommend this to the rest of us? I ask because I'm hopeful that my scientific opinions will continue to be taken seriously.

OneYieldRegular September 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I still regret Jon Stewart getting FOX completely wrong in the nonetheless entertaining Chris Wallace interview. Ideology is totally irrelevant to FOX (in its role as media wing of big business, just as the GOP is the political wing). Eh, this isn't funny. Funny goes in, funny goes out. I'll stop now.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 21, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Their second source of evidence is 'and his wife Hillary is a pushy bitch.'

terrydarc September 22, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Excellent! Don't forget that Michele and Sarah are both prettier than Hil.

SorosBot September 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Yes, we can't believe what Clinton says because his political enemies launched a witch-hunt against him and eventually impeached up for what were brazenly obvious political purposes as he had clearly committed no impeachable offense. That means we can't trust him.

x111e7thst September 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm

The people at Fox "news" are just jealous cause Bill got a blow job.

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm

From a woman.

x111e7thst September 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Better than getting one from a felafel.

terrydarc September 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

WTF is all this stuff about a falafel? I have a feeling I missed a REALLY good story somewhere…

starfanglednut September 21, 2011 at 5:19 pm

And for free!

Pristine_ODummy September 21, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Without having to stalk, harrass, or threaten her.

Naked_Bunny September 21, 2011 at 3:36 pm

But what does Unelected President Bush say?

glamourdammerung September 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm

So in other words, they can not factually disprove it, and have to resort to ad hominem attacks against people that agree that climate change is occurring? Since they ran the ACORN "sting" videos and have hosted serial liar Andy Breitbart, then I guess they agree they are not credible in anything, right?

arihaya September 21, 2011 at 6:31 pm

so what does wife abandoning and serial adulterer Newt Gingrich have to say about "climate change"?

Negropolis September 22, 2011 at 9:16 am

What does disgraced former governor Palin have to say about this? Or feces enthusiast Rick Santorum? Or execution expert Rick Perry? Or, local crazy woman Michele Bachmann? Or used Kia salesman Mitt Romney. Or…well, you get the hint.

Sue4466 September 21, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Or Still Standing.
Or Family Guy.
Or The Simpsons
Or Knocked Up.
Come to think of it, any Judd Apatow movie.
Or Hitch
Any movie with Woody Allen

BaldarTFlagass September 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Five words:

"Baby's arm holding an apple"

proudgrampa September 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Or Mike and Molly.

Oh, I know she doesn't have Wilma Flintstone's curves, but Molly is HAWT.

V572 T-Blow September 21, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Ever wonder why men want to be movie producers? Because women want to be in movies.

starfanglednut September 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm

This is actually one of my pet peeves about TV. It is utterly insulting and sexist. You never, ever see a handsome, fit man married to an overweight woman.

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Men want to be in movie stars.

horsedreamer_1 September 21, 2011 at 3:06 pm

But he only plays senile for the British MP.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm

So, to my fellow Wonketteers, these are all documentaries?

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