THIS GUY AGAIN  2:49 pm September 19, 2011

Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

There is another solution to this problem, and it is called logging out of Twitter.Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their “class warfare.” Conservative anger bear furry and professional Twitter troll Andrew Breitbart wants “warfare warfare,” because he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo by everyone, on Twitter. HOW DARE THESE PEOPLE. Andrew Breitbart is the world’s biggest victim, Andrew Breitbart in case you had forgotten about him during the time it took you to read those other words, Andrew Breitbart, and he is not afraid to “fire the first shot” in the bloody national civil war between conservatives and liberals that is about to start, tomorrow probably, over the mean things the Internet is saying about Andrew Breitbart. Bring it on, General Janeane Garofalo (?), you and your army of socialist space robots do not stand a chance. Video of Andrew Breitbart’s insane call to war, after the jump!

None of it makes any sense unless you understand fluent paranoid wingnut, but what we can make out sounds something like, “Andrew Breitbart will give the cue for the military higher-ups to napalm Janeane Garofalo and the conservative militia will finish off the rest of the Nazis with their guns, and the victory party will be held over Katie Couric’s corpse, on her front lawn.”

So, yeah, everyone stop calling Andrew Breitbart gay, on Twitter.

[YouTube via RawStory]

 

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{ 369 comments }

MittsHairHelmet September 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Correction: Breitbart Longing to Shoot the Next **Black** Person Who Insults Him

Arken September 19, 2011 at 3:18 pm

That is so unfair.

He hates Mexicans just as much.

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Don't forget the Muslims!

MittsHairHelmet September 20, 2011 at 12:49 am

Late Correction: Black/Brown

jjdaddyo September 19, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Jeananne Garafolo is black? Never saw that one coming.

mayor_quimby September 19, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Only her, cold, dark, liberal soul is.
And her hair.

Spurning Beer September 19, 2011 at 5:10 pm

And some of her extensive tattoos, and glasses frames.

hagajim September 19, 2011 at 5:07 pm

I thought he was waiting to shoot (his load) into the next black….or do I have it backwards, he's a receiver not a giver?

ManchuCandidate September 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Bitpart doth protest twoo much.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 19, 2011 at 3:03 pm
BarryOPotter September 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Our man Riley, taking one for the team. *single tear… from laughter*

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Too gay; didn't watch.

hilbillyheroine September 19, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Amen. His soft fluttering little hands, his nasal voice, and that thing about the Blackwater guys and his ass…well, I just think that it TMI. Gross. Had to cut it off.

ProudLibunatic September 19, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I am soooo not watching!
Start the war without me.

AlterNewt September 19, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Okay. But will you want updates…or pizza or anything?

ProudLibunatic September 20, 2011 at 12:57 am

Nah, I'll just microwave some popcorn.

Lascauxcaveman September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm

"Shoot your mouth off and I'll shoot your mouth off!"

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 3:53 pm

BB would probably use those words but vary the order to make more tasty for him.

Terry September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Is he insane or does he do an awful lot of drugs? Has to be one or the other, perhaps both.

Barb September 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I don't think it is so much about the drugs that Andrew is taking as it is about the drugs he shouldn't have stopped taking, if ya know what I mean.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Well he is a drunk who needs to make money.

SudsMcKenzie September 19, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Sometimes it's a little irritating when I'm being stalked by his nitwit.

SudsMcKenzie September 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm

I have (him), (them), "it" too. What they dont realize is the more followers we have the higher our all important pee goes up. So they are actually doing us a "favor", like an old TV star who still gets a stalker.

p.s. they will never be my latex salesman.

Mojopo September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

This stupid bitch is going to give himself a heart attack.

GhostBuggy September 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm

He's gotta be on cocaine. First of all, he can't stop touching his nostrils. Secondly, he's a paranoid lunatic.

Quayle2012_KNOT September 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

Combine that with a voice that sounds like he's destroyed his septum, and I'd say you're exactly right.

Barb September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I've never called him "gay" on Twitter. I've called him a "peter puffer" though.

ttommyunger September 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm

We prefer "Goober Smoocher" here in Jaw-Juh.

Swampgas_Man September 19, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Whatever happened to classics like "turd-burgler"?

ttommyunger September 19, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Thass good in Gawga, but in Texas they use “Butt Wrangler”, or so Rick Perry says.

metamarcisf September 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Fluffernutter?

TanzbodenKoenig September 19, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Pirate smoker?

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Ass Ranger.

fartknocker September 19, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Fudge packer.

jqheywood September 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I thought that was Romney?

imissopus September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Pickle sniffer?

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Corndog Gobbler?

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 5:47 pm

ARRR! Aye, he be a butt-pirate, mateys.

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Last Friday's "Hostage Tape" Reference: The Bachmann ad.
This Monday's "Hostage Tape" Reference: Where's Riley again?

LiveToServeYa September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Alas, poor Riley. I knew him, user-of-owls: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:05 pm

he hath borne Breitbart on his back a thousand times;
and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!

LesBontemps September 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm

I dunno, I think I'd still like to see the video.

BarryOPotter September 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Andrew's gorge rises at it. There were Riley's lips he has kissed he knows not how oft. Where be his thigh now?

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

of most excellent fancy.

The boy was a bit of a dandy, wasn't he.

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm

But the next right-winger who shoots up mosque, a black church or an abortion clinic will just be a lone wolf, and it would be blood libel to blame such behavior on violent rhetoric of racist misogynist fear-mongers like Breitbart.

GregComlish September 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Or shoots up a Unitarian church because "he hated the liberal movement" and was upset with "liberals in general as well as gays."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25872864/ns/us_news-c

TanzbodenKoenig September 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Hey! K-town represent – that's why i don't have an Obama bumper sticker though. I get enough redneck teabilly attitude as it is, i don't need to egg 'em on.

tribbzthesquidz September 19, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Here in good ol' Knoxville we've had Bam-Bam stickers on the vehicles with no problems. In fact, I see more Bam-Bam stickers than Nobama ones. Obvs, when the Repubs pick a candidate we will be seeing a lot of those.
I ain't skeert o' no neck ass dumbfucks. Anyhow.

TanzbodenKoenig September 20, 2011 at 10:19 am

Shit son, is there some sort of shining liberal haven on a hill here I haven't found? Over Farragut way its just a bunch of tea partiers and aged lesbians

V572 T-Blow September 19, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Or a congresswoman

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Not ONLY a lone wolf, but a lone wolf who shot bad people (librul moose limbs), and thus a hero.

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 4:31 pm

But they'll only say that in private; in public they'll just say "America brought this on itself, because of multiculturalism/abortion/gay sex, which forced this man to shoot/bomb all those people".

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm

"Relax! Your paranoid political fantasies notwithstanding, no one's going to take your guns away! Barring some seismic realignment in this country, the gun control debate is all but settled–and your side won. The occasional horrific civilian massacre is just the price the rest of us have to pay. Over and over again, apparently."

Sparky the Wonder Penguin

EatsBabyDingos September 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay
I'm seeing a trend.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I'll kill you.

WhatTheHolyHeck September 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

The only three autocomplete options Google offers when you type in his name:

Andrew Breitbart wiki
Andrew Breitbart twitter
Andrew Breitbart gay

Your honor, the prosecution rests.

PsycWench September 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I dunno. Most of the gay men I've met have been pretty likable.

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Breitbart is Roy Cohn-type gay.

Beetagger September 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Self loathing but snappy dresser?

Doktor Zoom September 20, 2011 at 12:20 am

without the latter (see video)

reliefsinn September 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Wait, the military is going to shoot some liberals because they called Breitbart gay? Does this guy have some unresolved issues or something?

babyeinstein September 26, 2011 at 10:23 am

And an even 100 thumbs up yer butt from me, sir.

Lascauxcaveman September 19, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Andrew Breitbart will give the cue for the military higher-ups to napalm Janeane Garofalo

LOL, better just nuke her from space to be sure, you pussy faggot.

EatsBabyDingos September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Somewhere, a horse is missing its ass.

Lascauxcaveman September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

But probably not missing it very much.

WhatTheHeck September 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

ass warfare.

Sue4466 September 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm

And the head that is firmly implanted up it.

Gleem_McShineys September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Guess what is congealing in Andrew Breitbart's hair!

(a) His own vomit
(b) Someone else's santorum
(c) Club For Growth Pomade (Norquist jizz)

Graham Cracker September 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Trick question, isn't it. The answer is "All of them, Katie."

Mojopo September 19, 2011 at 4:45 pm

He is one of the few gay men who has no idea about distributing product evenly.

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

We outnumber them in this country

Only in terms of the BMI.

and we have the guns

Thanks to lax red state gun laws, there are probably more guns in South Chicago than in every exburban McMansion and trailer park combined.

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 4:00 pm

>We outnumber them in this country
>>Only in terms of the BMI.

Don't scoff. If they could harness the gravitational attraction of the amalgamated mass of tea party nation, they could reverse the Fundy tides.

BerkeleyBear September 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

The idiotic NRA fought the handgun ban in Chicago – ha, ha, jokes on them!

Plus, I know for a fact there are a shit load of armed pot smoking liberals up and down the West Coast. Even scarier for Breitbart, I've met a fair number of socially liberal hunters here in Oregon (I know, it is a weird demographic, but think Teddy Roosevelt Republicans who the party has left over the last 30-40 years).

ragnarok4msm September 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Chicago BANNED handguns ONLY criminals have them and Illinois is a BLUE STATE. 2008 Congr. Districting off.

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Yeah, that was kinda my point.

Rotundo_ September 19, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Not only that, but the folks in South side Chicago have a hell of a lot more experience using them than do Andy and his "Patridiots". The black folk from Chitown and many of the white folk who do vote democratic have guns and know how to use them effectively. Andy should be very careful what he wishes for. He just may get it in boatloads shortly.

gurukalehuru September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Skoal Rebel without the Skoal.

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Charm, also too.

Rotundo_ September 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Skoal Rebel is in better physical shape and isn't a drunk either.

fuflans September 19, 2011 at 4:53 pm

or the rebel.

Swampgas_Man September 19, 2011 at 6:55 pm

So that's his problem — he's having a nic fit.

Amo_of_Bogio September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

There is no power on earth, in space or between the dimensions of the multiverse that could make me click on that.

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Look at this swinging pocket watch. Just look at it. Keep looking. Yes, that's it. Keep watching it.

(When BB touches your thigh, you will not remember anything.)

flamingpdog September 19, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Too bad you missed the topless guest appearance by Katherine Harris at 2:12 into the video.

stew1 September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Not only are you gay, you're fat, whiney and need to shave.

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 3:07 pm

And racist, and woman-hating, and a probable alcoholic…

Crank_Tango September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

sweaty cokehead, also.

gullywompr September 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Oh, I don't know, he's got that wavy long hair going for him, and those pouty lips, that boyish charm that makes you just want to cuddle him, those intense blue eyes like two deep azure pools that you just want to dive into and drown in…

BarryOPotter September 19, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Riley? Is that you?

gullywompr September 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

No, but he can join us too.

JustPixelz September 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Whatever happened to thin, neat and single? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Gleem_McShineys September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

That is the first time I've seen 'be launched into the sun' mixed up with 'shave'

Monsieur_Grumpe September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

"There are times that I'm not thinking as clearly as I should"
When are you you thinking clearly Breitbart? I haven't seen any examples.

Native_of_SL_UT September 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I can think of only one example. It was when he said "There are times that I'm not thinking as clearly as I should"

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Andrew, the only reason why people in the military were coming up and thanking you is because they thought you were Bruce Vilanch.

Also, "got my back" = GAY. So STFU, you prissy motherfucker.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Oh shit! Elviously calld him prissy? He's soooooooo gay.

WhatTheHolyHeck September 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I like that the lurkers support him in email.

SayItWithWookies September 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm

It's actually just the same soldier over and over again. Like BigGovernment commenters.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Whoa. Spanky/puppets has never served anyone in a truck stop diner much less the military.

trondant September 19, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Behind a truck stop diner, maybe.

Rotundo_ September 19, 2011 at 4:44 pm

C'mon, Bruce is in better shape than Andy is. If he put on 50 pounds and went on a gin fueled lost weekend for a month or two there might be a passing resemblance. But even then Bruce would be more funny throwing up than Andy at his best.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

"There are times when I'm not thinking clearly. Like when I'm drunk. Which is all the time. Fuck, I'm smashed outta my gord and can hardly stand right now."

-Andrew Breitbart-

LesBontemps September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

You mean, Andrew Breitbart isn't gay? What are we going to tell Riley now?

Maman September 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

So, he isn't a bully but he threatens people with guns. I am having a logic issue here.

Polythene_Pam September 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Additionally, "they" can only win by bullying & teasing, because they have no substance to their arguments, but… "We can win because there are more of us"

?

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

But there aren't more of them; if there were Obama wouldn't be President.

PsycWench September 19, 2011 at 4:21 pm

There you go with that impeccable logic thing of yours again.

Sue4466 September 19, 2011 at 4:54 pm

But more of them have guns. So, second amendment remedies.

And again, they will win by their stunning policy statements and irreproachable logic. Which they will force you to accept at gun point. And election rigging. Because libruls are nothing but bullies.

Makes total sense.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm

There's your problem. He is a Conservative member of the media. Logic has no place in his world.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Well to be fair he threatened us with someone else's guns. He was thinking pretty clearly about that fine point.

Maman September 19, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Ahh. yes. Too much of a pussy to back up his own threat.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Exactly, or to add to his collection of lawsuits for that matter.

gullywompr September 19, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Somebody needs a hug. Riley, you there?

Or maybe Anthony Weiner could just give him another reach-around.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Man he's really playing up that gay thing. For Christ sakes Andy go on Craigs list and get your self a date already.

Oblios_Cap September 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Did they ever catch the Craigslist killer?

Monsieur_Grumpe September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

He's a mean drunk.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

That dude is gay…
He looks like he has been on a 3 week coke and pecker binge.

crybabyboehner September 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

He's no homo, not him, nosiree, he is as "Str8" as any guy on Craigslist..

Texan_Bulldog September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

"he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo". Okay, how about drunk douche bag?

Seriously, he's about 20 years too old & 30 pounds too heavy to keep playing the drunken, bully frat boy.

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:31 pm

About 5 days too greasy, as well. Frat boys sometimes shower, and I am convinced that Breitbart does not.

memzilla September 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Isn't there something in body language (or maybe a Seinfeld episode) where if you touch your nose while talking, it means you're lying? Yeah, I think I saw it too… right around the time he was boasting about how the "high ranking military" said "we gotcher back."

Come here a minute September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Naturally Breitbart can't speak coherently, because he's up all night creating user ID's and posting comments.

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm

So, yeah, everyone stop calling Andrew Breitbart gay, on Twitter.

Next time someone calls him gay, Andy should just whip out that picture of Weiner's pecker he keeps on his iPhone. That should shut them up.

SayItWithWookies September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm

"They are the bullies on the playground."

Quite an accusation from an unshaven, bedraggled shrieking ninny threatening violence.

Mojopo September 19, 2011 at 4:32 pm

And his sweaty head.

fuflans September 19, 2011 at 4:54 pm

nancy i think you mean, shrieking NANCY.

GhostBuggy September 19, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Yes, this is the best part. Somehow, we are – at once- bullies on the playground and afraid of their big di- uh, guns. Got it, you drunken, paranoid, delusional crybaby.

veritass September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Breitbart: 'Major named people in the military grabbed me and got my back.'

That doesn't sound gay at all.

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I swear it sounds like the audience is laughing at him. I'm sure it's just the sound of fapping, as a room full of fat white men imagine that the uniformed, strapping studs of the US Miliary "have their backs" (ungh!), but for a minute there, I really thought that everyone was slapping their own thighs with mirthful, mocking laughter.

Geminisunmars September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

They were laughing at him until they realized that he'd stepped over into paranoid schizo land, and it got awfully quiet. Hard to snark watching someone be sick.

metamarcisf September 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm

When you're a cokehead and the person leading your intervention team is Bill Maher, maybe it's time to dial it back a bit.

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 4:50 pm

OT, but I almost want to downfist you, meta, since you're out of the red and headed toward — *shudder* — positive territory!

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Andrew Breitbart’s soooooooo not gay. #notintendedtobeafactualstatment.

SoBeach September 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm

"They talk a mean game, but they will not cross that line."

Andy Breitbart, on the other hand, WILL cross that line. So quit teasing him. I mean it.

Do you really want your great-grandchildren to learn that the second American Civil War was fought and millions died because you couldn't resist taunting an insecure crybaby?

El Pinche September 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm

The only line Andy crosses is the full line on a glass filled with a fabulous Borocay cocktail .

genxr September 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm

RT @AbeLincoln That @JeffDavis is so gay. Meet me at Bull Run today to make fun of him LOL

Steverino247 September 19, 2011 at 4:29 pm

And then On to Richmond!

Boojum_Reborn September 19, 2011 at 11:37 pm

"That line" being the one where the furry bear shows him the joys of anal. He shot and shot!

mayor_quimby September 20, 2011 at 9:48 am

Andy will defend Bulldogs in ATL from that dastardly Sherman and his torches.

SayItWithWookies September 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm

And Andrew, nobody cares if you're gay (well, except maybe gays with taste who don't want to be associated with a guy who regularly appears in public looking like a recently-deceased Marlon Brando.) They care about your wild baseless accusations against ACORN, Planned Parenthood, every politician to the left of John Boehner and anyone who thinks we shouldn't be an oligarchy.

emmelemm September 19, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Marlon Brando libel!

Even zombie Marlon Brando is more attractive than Breitbart. Sure, at the end, MB went off the rails, but behold and tell me there was never a more perfect specimen of a man:

Vintage Marlon Brando

SayItWithWookies September 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I'm not impugning the young good-looking Brando at all — though to be fair, the Brando I think Breitbart resembles is more the Brando impression that Chris Elliott used to do on Letterman. This, for instance but more jowly.

V572 T-Blow September 19, 2011 at 4:05 pm

You know Truman Capote said to Brando they first met?

"Someday you'll be bigger than Orson Welles."

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I bet the Delphic Oracle wishes she could have thought of that one.

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Breitbart doesn't want homos with good taste; Breitbart wants homos that taste good!

Trannysurprise September 19, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Does this mean the Waggaman-Breitbart wedding has been canceled? Dammit Riley, what have you done?

LesBontemps September 19, 2011 at 3:04 pm

You'd think Breitbart wouldn't mind being called gay; at least it implies that he's getting laid by someone, rather than furiously/pathetically masturbating to Pam Geller videos.

TanzbodenKoenig September 19, 2011 at 4:14 pm

That's prolly how it started. Masturbating to Pam Geller would prolly make me gay, too

Tommmcattt September 19, 2011 at 3:04 pm

"Gay " is a political term denoting a group of people who refuse to be bullied for who they love by intimation, innuendo, and lies. Andrew Brietbart is not gay.

Andrew Brietbart is a self-loathing faggot.

Gorillionaire September 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm

A+

memzilla September 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

(+++) for pithiness.

AlterNewt September 19, 2011 at 11:58 pm

(+++) for tastefully appointed pithiness.

mayor_quimby September 20, 2011 at 9:45 am

.50 caliber ZING! And I mean that non-violently.
Well done

Pat_Pending September 19, 2011 at 3:05 pm

When Bite-a-Fart says that they've got his back, I think they meant 'bareback'

Goonemeritus September 19, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Conservatives may indeed have more guns but I have to believe Democrat’s have way smaller prostates. I wouldn’t bet on Republicans if it came to a shooting war, it’s too easy to deny real-estate to a Hoverround.

El Pinche September 19, 2011 at 3:06 pm

"fire the first shot"
That's closet conservative "xtian" gay code for getting bukkake'd by 2 or more vietnamese teen boys. Whatever turns your screw, you bloated turd bag.

Oblios_Cap September 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm

The Vietnamese are a beautiful and flexible people…

seppdecker September 19, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Widebeard, you went to a bar dressed in a Snuggie. Now you're perplexed as to why your macho is being questioned?

Oblios_Cap September 19, 2011 at 3:07 pm

It's easy to be brave when you've got a face for radio, eh, Gay-ndy?

Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their “class warfare.”

A little class warfare might do this country some good. The other side has been waging it for decades and has just about won.

Polythene_Pam September 19, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Katie Couric should get a restraining order

fletc3her September 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm

It's hard to imagine any man or woman wanting to have sex with that guy. Does his preference really matter either way?

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:32 pm

He is the perfect evidence to support the Right Religious Fanatics saying allowing gay marriage will lead to folks wanting to marry their sheep. A sheep is all BBart could might (and I am not sure he could run that fast to get it).

Polythene_Pam September 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Also, needz more "crazy homeless guy sitting beside you on the subway" rambling

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I thought it was…

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Is Janeane Garofalo going to have to cut a bitch? Yes, yes, I believe she will have to cut a bitch.

MaxNeanderthal September 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Fuck me, Bruce Dern's let himself go a bit hasn't he..?

iburl September 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

He smells more like Deuce Burn.

Oblios_Cap September 19, 2011 at 3:09 pm

And "ARRRR", just because it's Talk Like a Pirate Day.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 4:29 pm

HARRRay!! I could hARRRdly wait for it to get hARRR!!

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Yarrr, and to think I forgot all about it. I'm a scurvy dog, I am.

Yarr.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I can't believe anything Brietbart says until he shows me his long form graduation certificate from the Marcus Bachmann school of de-gaying.

HedonismBot September 19, 2011 at 3:10 pm

The last thing he said was what kind of jumped out at me.
So, he agrees that liberal and progressive protests get next to zero coverage from the lamestream media, even while the liberal press hacks slobber all over every Tea Party rascal scooter-fest from sea to shining sea.
But it was news to me to learn that the progressives and Democrats want it that way. So now I know – thanks to Breitbart – it is all part of a conspiracy carried out by the liberal "bullies on the playground."
A true Merkin hero, standing up for the oppressed corporate executives and the white morans who dance to their fiddle.

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 9:15 pm

No, no, you see, the liberals picketing Good Patriotic American CEOs are actually a huge embarrassment to the Big Liberal Media, so they sweep it under the rug. If the protests got massive coverage, it would totally prove how morally bankrupt liberalism is, so the liberal media refuses to pay any attention to the liberal protesters, so it can get on with the work of brainwashing the American People who would see through the liberal protesters' message. But not the Liberal Media's message.

See how easy that was?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:10 pm

And, really, if Breitbart wants to be taken seriously, he needs to dress up like a pimp, and then edit everything he says to make himself look gay. Them people will know it is not true.

Lucidamente1 September 19, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I thought “fire the first shot” was a game Breitbart plays with Marcus Bachmann.

smashaduck September 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm

You don't have to be str8 to shoot str8. But it helps to be sober. So I'll win.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Brietbart should find an Analysis/Therapist to help him with his problems.

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

He just blue himself…

horsedreamer_1 September 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Andrew Breitbart is the world’s biggest victim.

So, you're saying, Andrew Breitbart is a character portrayed by Sarah Palin?

Guess the Duhv'nor had to do something with the fake baby-bump left over from Bristol's first pregnancy.

HedonismBot September 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

All these people are characters played by Andy Kaufman. Even when they're all standing shoulder-to-shoulder on stage, a la last week's Tea Party debate – each one of them is him.

Geminisunmars September 19, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Finally – an explanation that makes some sense.

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Christ, talk about dragging the joke out too long…get to the Mighty Mouse song, already!

Mumbletypeg September 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm

*Sigh*.. Where is Queer Eye for the Straight Guy when you need them?

HedonismBot September 20, 2011 at 11:55 am

See, I think the thing is, they don't need him.

poorgradstudent September 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Speaking as a gay man, I wouldn't fuck him with Anthony Weiner's dick.

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Oh please, honey. Most of us wouldn't fuck him with Ann Coulter's dick.

Tommmcattt September 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Even Lindsey Graham's dick is out of the question.

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:38 pm

The thought of shoving Dick Cheney in him is compelling though.

Tommmcattt September 19, 2011 at 6:18 pm

And nauseating as well!

Swampgas_Man September 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Dick Cheney and Dick Army could BOTH fit in there comfortably.

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Well, to be fair – I've seen Weiner's dick, and it wouldn't put enough distance between you and Sweaty McFartstack. Kanye West's dick, though…

OneDollarJuana September 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I'm surprised he thinks Katie Couric's teenagers would be scared by Teabaggers. Last time I checked, most teenagers are teabaggers, of a sort. "Whaddya mean, you're gonna make me pay for that dented fender? And keep your hands off my allowance!"

HedonismBot September 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm

And dear me, but I thought military folks were supposed to be loyal to their commander-in-chief, regardless of personal politics or party affiliation. Yet another liberal media lie.

hilbillyheroine September 19, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Andy got "it on" with "Men At Work", and because they ass-slammed him, told him he was "good", he got all confused. He now thinks the "military" has "his backside". Well, I guess, some of them do. Maybe.

imissopus September 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Fat, drunk, and being Andrew Breitbart is no way to go through life, son.

lamorenabruja September 19, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Merciful heavens. It's like you can smell his frustration thru the computer. This is one dude who needs a hot beef injection like nobody's business. Somebody put a dick in his mouth so he can STFU already. And hold him for a few minutes after. He looks like he gets pretty girly when it's over.

qwerty42 September 19, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Sullivan described this rant as coming from "…an increasingly disturbed and paranoid Andrew Breitbart."

Tommmcattt September 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Haha, Sully would know…

BarackMyWorld September 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Ok, maybe I'm confused, but he seems to be saying liberals won't resort to violence but conservatives will….which is an excellent argument for taking conservative ideas seriously, I suppose.

Doktor Zoom September 19, 2011 at 9:26 pm

No, not at all, he's saying that conservatives would NEVER resort to violence….until those goddamned treasonous America-hating babykilling evilhorriblebadbadbad liberals cross the line, and then good decent patriots will rend the unholy enemies of America limb from limb and grind them into a fleshy pulp.

So liberals, violent though their sick evil impulses are, wouldn't dare push conservatives too far.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

So the army is going to slaughter the political foes of Andrew Breitbart because someone twated that he was an ass cowboy? Is this the kinda shit that rolls about in fags his head?

(my apologies to the LGBT people for the insulting language. Specifically implying that Andrew Breibart is a homosexual)

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm

"Ass cowboy" +1. Yippee ki-yi-yay motherfucker, also.

baconzgood September 19, 2011 at 3:55 pm

If it meets your approval, I know it's a good slur.

henrypuppyhead September 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Yes, the military is all about treason these days. Let's just throw this out there. Who do you think the rest of the world would support if the military leaders attempted this coup that "Pound my ass into Peanut Butter" Breitbart is talking about? The very personification of George Bush's arrogance or the partisans that actually still believe in the concepts of the Constitution?

Typical despot thinking.

Limeylizzie September 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I thought they fired the first shot already, in Tuscon. no?

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

No, dear, not Tucson.

It was Dallas.

Limeylizzie September 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm

You are correct, my avian darling.

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Would that I wasn't, delicious tart. Would that I wasn't.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Kennedy called Oswald gay?

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I'm afraid it was even earlier. Washington D.C. Specifically the Ford Theater.

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Sic Semper Chichus!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

This really seems like a strange complaint from a person who got his start as Drudge's fluffer.

prommie September 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I wonder who these un-named "named" major military people are. Has he been hiring the services of ex-marine Jeff Gannon for some "major" military-themed butt-frothing activities?

Arken September 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm
proudgrampa September 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Who the fuck is Andrew Breitbart?

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Some gay dude… no big whoop…

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Some drunk dude who wants to be gay but needs to be totally passed out first. Sad because nobody bothers to fuck him but he doesn't realize it. It's all very upsetting.

DashboardBuddha September 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Fat, drunk and you is no way to go through life, son.

ttommyunger September 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Gosh, Breitie, if you're so anxious to shoot someone, join the fucking Army or the Marines already. You're not too old and as of midnight tonight I understand they can't keep "teh gheys" (by that I mean you) out.

Steverino247 September 19, 2011 at 4:34 pm

He could enlist as a "Cum Catcher" (MOS69U2) and serve with the 2/72nd Prophylactic Testing Detachment at Ft. Hymen, Utah.

Trannysurprise September 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm

The history books will read something like:

"CW II was terrible time in our nations history. It was General Breitbart that finally made a stand at the CW II battlefield we now call "Starbucks Crossing." Facing overwhelming odds against the Union forces, the Labor Union forces that is, he met General O'Donnell and her band of fighters known as the "Canyon Yodelers" for the bloody showdown."

"The fighting was soon over as the troops became confused on who to follow, considering both generals looked so much alike" reported Lt. DeGeneres.

Rotundo_ September 19, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Now that one I would love to see done up in full Ken Burns motif. I would have to be sedated and catheterized to get through it without destroying the room I viewed it in, but it would be worth it, oh, soooooooo worth it.

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Sorry to be a style-manual nag, but Strunk says you should never juxtapose "long" and "Breitbart"…even in verb form.

And White fucking concurs.

Jukesgrrl September 20, 2011 at 1:38 am

Grammar libel for the win!

tihond September 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

His girlfriend who's Canadian (that's why you wouldn't know her) says he's totally straight.

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Her name wouldn't happen to be Alberta, would it?

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Regina.

That's right, I said it. REGINA.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm

What happened to the rich wife in Beverly Hills? Seriously I can't keep up and still get the plants all watered and the dog walked.

Beowoof September 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Sure, in the new America lots of guys really go for the hard core wife with a 12 inch strap-on.

Jukesgrrl September 20, 2011 at 1:39 am

His girlfriend who's Canadian AND BLIND … there, fixed.

mayor_quimby September 20, 2011 at 9:42 am

I was wondering exactly what kind of ring he was wearing. Is there some sort of top/bottom ring code I am unfamiliar with?

Callyson September 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

If you google "Andrew Breitbart," Andrew Breitbart gay is only 4th on the list. Time to get to work! Santorum II–it's on!

iburl September 19, 2011 at 3:26 pm

In case this war starts, we should make sure we've got our Librul Line of Succession straight…
1) G. Soros
2) J. Garafalo
3) M. Moore
4) K. Olbermann
5) A. Gore
6) B. Frank

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright should be in there somewhere.

rahelio September 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm

7) B. Sanders
8) D. Kucinich

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Wait, wait. Who's got the tank? Olivia Dukakis?

Jukesgrrl September 20, 2011 at 1:40 am

I want Rachel as commander-in-chief.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Remember a looong time ago when Fucks Noose was rippin' on how violent James Hoffa was… man… that guy was so outrageous…

OneYieldRegular September 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Yes, how astute, the left doesn't want to push Andy Breitbart and his ilk too far because we know they might fight back with all their guns (oooo!), instead of, you know, not wanting to push Andy et al because a) not all of us find violence fantasies titillating in this already incredibly violent enough country; b) we already had one civil war and, just perhaps, it might be a good idea to try doing what we can to avoid having another one; and c) why bother to indulge such self-aggrandizing, puerile boy-man behavior? Oh, and d) Katie Couric, are you kidding me?

kateinmt September 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Most of the websites I belong to don't allow words some find offensive (silly moralists). Thank God for Wonkette, because given the chance, I'd tell ol' Pudge there he's a wanking chocolate starfish, noob-faced, twat-hatted ignorant asshole. And I don't like him much, either.

Thank you. I feel far better now.

BornInATrailer September 19, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Oh yeah? Try saying re-tarded!

Attica! Attica! Attica! <– said in terrible mimicry of a special needs child

I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell.

jqheywood September 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm

With all the cool kids…

An_Outhouse September 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Only real manly men attend Koch Bros. protests wearing roller skates. Right, Bright Fart?

Fox n Fiends September 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I, for one, am locked and loaded, Mr. Breitbart. You wanna dance?

Native_of_SL_UT September 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I prefer the Bruce Willis approach in the Fifth Element.
"Does anyone else want to negotiate?"

elviouslyqueer September 19, 2011 at 3:52 pm

I'm fairly sure this is the only dance Andy knows by heart.

Barrelhse September 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I'm gonna give the little bitch a wedgie.
Also, gay Andrew Breitbart is a gay homosexual gay person who is gay.

HistoriCat September 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Perhaps the self-loathing closet case should refrain from publicly humping (male) interns if he doesn't want people to think he's gay.

BarackMyWorld September 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm
powersuit September 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm

OT: Need proof that life is unfair? Andrew Breitbart is making money off of this.

HelmutNewton September 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Breitbart and Marcus Bachmann need a playdate or 12 together. Maybe if he got some hot man-on-man lovin' he wouldn't be so angry all the time…

teebob2000 September 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm

You know who ELSE wanted to kill all the libruls…?

Native_of_SL_UT September 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Olive Garden?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Ronald Regan's Zombified corpse?

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Jefferson Davis?

HelmutNewton September 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Nancy Grace?

Geminisunmars September 19, 2011 at 5:33 pm

The Coulter-geist?

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Ken Layne?

bikerlaureate September 19, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Rahm?

Native_of_SL_UT September 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Who does this guy thinks he is spurting out shit like this, Jimmy Hoffa?

johnnyzhivago September 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Fat dumb and whiny is no way to go through life, Andrew….

unclejeems September 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Um, I was surprised to learn a couple of years ago, from this same unimpeachable source, that Oprah Winfrey was actually running the White House. I've followed his every prophetic word since that fateful day.
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/andrew-br

mavenmaven September 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

He's a Macho Macho Man!

johnnyzhivago September 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Just thinking…. Perfect dance partner for Nancy Grace!

SayItWithWookies September 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm

You'd know who wore the helmet in that relationship.

Radiotherapy® September 19, 2011 at 3:48 pm

He is just reiterating what his cretin commentors threaten all the time.

Tundra Grifter September 19, 2011 at 3:49 pm

"Major named people in the military…"

What would be Major Major Major Major, wouldn't it?

rahelio September 19, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"which Major named people in the military?"
"All of them, Katie"

Tundra Grifter September 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm

The classics never get old.

Never.

Tundra Grifter September 19, 2011 at 3:51 pm

That's a whole lot of words about something that is "unspoken" – unless, of course, he's talking about the love that dare not speak its name.

GortRay September 19, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Breitbart is crazier than a bag of bees. If that performance isn't a meth-rant I don't know what is. Also. He is gayer than Paul Lynde's sock drawer. And if you happen to read this Herr Breitbart….bring it on dude. Cuz I am sick to death of listening to right wing maggots like you who were the weird smelly fat kids with no friends in high school. Bring it boy.

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I will stand with you. I feel the same way.

WriteyWriterton September 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm

"…gayer than Paul Lynde's sock drawer." Oh, that is excellent. Nicely played, GR.

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 3:56 pm

From Wiki:

"He changed his political views after experiencing an "epiphany" during the Clarence Thomas hearings"

"Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?"

What a great guy! I wanna be an asshole just like him…

FakaktaSouth September 19, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I had the rare good fortune of getting to have a drink at lunch today and am at the feisty end of a decent little buzz. I wish Andrew were here with me. Having read this I suddenly feel like punching a motherfucker and he looks just PERFECT for that. Thanks a lot for trying to incite rednecks to rise up you fucktard, I gotta live around these assholes, so stop fucking my shit up, all right? God he sucks.

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Getting hardworking working class people to shill for billionaires is one fucking outstanding acheivement of the 20th Century!

Mort_Sinclair September 19, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Teh gey dude has serious anger issues. He's likely to go postal at any moment, so keep lightin' him up like a cheap cigar.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 3:58 pm

"Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him"

Bring that shit on!

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Look at that giant pussy. Wonkette, Jr. could kick his ass.

Any Wonkette, Jr.

Zombie_Reagan September 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Wait, we're talking about Andrew Brietbart? I could have sworn that was a video of Artie Lange

not that Dewey September 19, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Don't fuck with Jeanine Garofalo

Eve8Apples September 19, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Andy is not gay. He's a mindless little goat fucker.

Mr. Breitbart, I know gay people. Gay people are friends of mine, and you sir, are not fit to lick their gay boots.

metamarcisf September 19, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm

On the same page as the article- (Andy's is the best segue ever)

"Eel slithers up man’s penis during bath (The Raw Story)"

Indiepalin September 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Jim Morrison: "They got the guns but we got the numbers"

DerrickWildcat September 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm

You mess with Katie Couric, you mess with me.

Dumbedup September 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I didn't know he was gay! I didn't think the gays would have such a fat drunken sack of shit. I guess they let anyone in these days.

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 5:59 pm

No, the gays didn't tap him. He definitely would not win them the recruiting toaster gift.

Papa_Uniform September 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Yep Andy, you got the whole fuckin' military covering your back, and tomorrow you'll be able join up yourself and serve openly.

MissTaken September 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Hey BB, the cool kids not liking you has absolutely nothing to do with you being gay. It's the fact that you are a self-righteous, misogynistic, lying, fat fuck, drunken, piece of shit.

Actually, being gay is the only thing you do have going for you.

DerrickWildcat September 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I'm pretty sure anyone that's ever been on the internet has been called a homo.
In fact Samuel Morse's first telegraph message was, "Professor Charles Wheatstone is gay"

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 19, 2011 at 4:18 pm

You know who else threaten to kill people for calling him gay?

Indiepalin September 19, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Chaz Bono of U2?

El Pinche September 19, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Andy Dick?

Steverino247 September 19, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Himmler?

imissopus September 19, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Bieber?

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 5:09 pm

He's out to get Lesbians who look like Justin Beaver???
http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com

SorosBot September 19, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Julius Casar? (Seriously; learn your ancient gossip, people).

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm

All the jocks I went to high school with?

genxr September 19, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Does threatening to discipline barbarians count? Or is that something completely different?

Chichikovovich September 19, 2011 at 5:45 pm

That whatzisname Talese guy?

bflrtsplk September 19, 2011 at 4:21 pm

When Breitbart talks about a shooting war he means a "shooting war."

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 4:22 pm

What's a "homey gay"? Is he saying that people all calling him a black gay person, circa… like, 1990, or something?

MozakiBlocks September 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Why would I insult this dingus on Twitter when I can do it here on teh Wonkette just as easily?

ChrisM2011 September 19, 2011 at 4:26 pm

This guy seriously needs to get laid….

And by laid I mean EXUBERANT amounts of gay sex.

sford713 September 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

From that photo, this cretin is desperately in need of a shower. He may be gay, but celibacy is a bitch and with a stank on like that I'm sure he qualifies as the most frustrated koch-sucker on the planet!

metamarcisf September 19, 2011 at 4:29 pm

For me to call Andrew Breitbart gay would be like Mel Gibson calling the Jews "oven dodgers".

Mojopo September 19, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Oh bitch please. Take your sweaty head, wash it off, use some deodorant and sober your drunk ass up.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Okay, hands up–Democrat, Republican, Independent, whatever–who hasn't insulted this angry, wiry-haired potato?

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 4:45 pm

angry, wiry-haired potato

And when he's drunk, a yam. A big, fucking faggoty yam.

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 5:07 pm

You're insulting the only vegetable Teatards will eat…

WilliamHTaft September 19, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Andrew Breitbart is not a drunken psychopath and he will murder all the poors to prove it.

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Christians like to kill people to convince them that they are gentle, loving people….

raygotaway September 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

The way Andrew's hair looks like its got four different kinds of bodily fluids in it does something to me.

Gorillionaire September 19, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I really don't have anything to add except that this is the funniest comment thread since Turner Classic Movies had that Reagan birthday thing.

DaRooster September 19, 2011 at 4:38 pm

It can't be "Class Warfare"… for you have no class.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm

I'm scared. An all sockpuppet/clown car army is downright frightening.

DahBoner September 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I forecast future shortages of Jerkins lotion and Kleenex….

antispandex September 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm

THIS, was supposed to be his big, butch, straight statement? The guy just is dripping the gay….but the video could use some anti- butt sex references if he really wants to sell it. He should talk to a pro, or a Republican House member.

Barb September 19, 2011 at 4:55 pm

OT: My best friend, Bill just now stepped off a Delta plane, flight 108 from San Diego to Atlanta and Mitt was sitting across from him. Bill will board the plane for Dulles soon. I sent him my Palin books to read and he had them with him and didn't ask Mitt to autograph one. Not only that, he forgot to say, "My BFF, Barb watched you in the debates the other night and said she could smell your cologne through the TV."

What's the use of having a BFF if they don't do the rude shit you dare them to? That's it, I am now interviewing for a new best friend, apply within.

metamarcisf September 19, 2011 at 5:00 pm

The least your friend could've done was stand next to the governor and fart.

Barb September 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I bet that had Mitt farted, it would have smelled like cinnamon.
God, I can't believe Bill didn't do anything rude to amuse me. I'm starting to believe that the world is just going to H-E-double hockey sticks.

emmelemm September 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Your little "p" circle isn't even red any more. Sad times.

antispandex September 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm

My son was once standing by Rush Limbaugh and I begged him to ask, loudly, if there was a danger of drug interaction with Oxy Contin and Viagra, but he said he was too embarassed. You can pick your friends…

SexySmurf September 19, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Barb, if I was your friend I would have gone over and messed up Mitten's hair. He probably would have started crying or something.

Barb September 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Thanks Smurf, you are my real friend.
Bill is using the excuse that he threw his back out and was in too much pain to get arrested for me. His wife, Joy had to dress him and get his hosiery on with his shoes. I don't want to hear about his "pity sox" I want gossip and lots of it.

Eve8Apples September 19, 2011 at 5:22 pm

San Diego is the location of Mittens' shabby La Jolla beachfront shack that he is supersizing. I would have smacked him upside the head with the books and said "How's that for class warfare you twat?'

anniegetyerfun September 19, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Mitt flew commerical?

Barb September 19, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Yes, Mitt flew commercial. He's unemployed.

flamingpdog September 19, 2011 at 7:51 pm

You lassoed me at the "apply within".

jus_wonderin September 19, 2011 at 4:55 pm

BB personifies asshole. Or is that anthropomorphises?

genxr September 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Would you say he anusmorphises?

fuflans September 19, 2011 at 4:57 pm

lighten up francis.

AlaskaGrrl September 19, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Wow. That was a hissy fit, fit for a queen.

Beowoof September 19, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Andy you're an asshole. Hope you stop by.

Mojopo September 19, 2011 at 5:15 pm

If he is not a drunk, I am willing to believe he has a pill problem.

rahelio September 19, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I'm pretty sure this miserable piece of shit should be on the latter but is abusing both.

But what can you say? Birds of a bloated feather (RushBo) squawk together.

mourningnmerica September 19, 2011 at 5:19 pm

He can't fire the first shot. The guy he was with did that last night. All over his forehead.

mourningnmerica September 19, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Talking about violence like that is… so… soft…

Mvj September 19, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I don't think the gay community would want you Not so Breit!!

smitallica September 19, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Yes, Andrew, I bet a lot of people in the military are "behind you." I'm just sayin'…

poncho_pilot September 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Breitbart must be trying to get the nomination??? i want to see him in the next debate.

anyway, he's probably just jealous that, historically, more guys have wanted to fuck Garofalo than would ever even consider him.

smitallica September 19, 2011 at 6:43 pm

"My ideas are bankrupt and I'm an asshole, but I know people with guns, so there."

Fuck you, Breitbart. And them.

OKthennext September 19, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Wait, he said PUBLIC Sector Union Thugs are bullies? School teachers, health care workers, EMTs and public administrators – ? What??

valgal2342 September 19, 2011 at 7:05 pm

That ain't spittle, it's Santorum residue.

widget2011 September 19, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Andrew Breitbart, you are a homo!

henrypuppyhead September 19, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Fun would be having a network of people going sniper on his ass with paint ball guns for a couple of weeks.

ThundercatHo September 19, 2011 at 7:07 pm

You know what I did this weekend, fuckwad? I went to a Liquor, Guns and Ammo party hosted by a couple of our lesbian friends. There was quite a bit of firepower there and folks who knew how to shoot pretty good. Lots of good food and drink, lots of smart people and if there were any asshole conservatives they were keeping their mouths shut.

djpostl September 19, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Lol, name the time and place Breitbart. I'll end your punk ass chicken hawk's existence in a New York minute. Scrub ass wannabe tough I say…

glamourdammerung September 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Andy, it gets better. Well, it will if you stop being a whiny bitch rage addict.

glamourdammerung September 19, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Andy, "major prolapse" and "private parts" are not "members" of the military.

SheriffRoscoe September 19, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Somebody get Andy a cupcake. He can't get laid, what with that squishy ass of his, and he needs the endorphins.

donner_froh September 19, 2011 at 8:03 pm

It isn't possible to talk about Andy without insulting him. All the English words that refer to this sack of shit are insults.

HolyCow!! September 19, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Yeah, there's nothing more "vicious" than being called gay. What kind of evil person would do such a thing? Hitler maybe? Yeah, that's who.

rocktonsam September 19, 2011 at 8:47 pm

someone needs to tell that crazy shouty lady she could use a shave

MiniMencken September 19, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Can I still refer to him using Stephen Colbert's coinage, "pirate smoker?"

starfanglednut September 19, 2011 at 9:26 pm

OMG, "gay" is not an insult, you stupid fucking conservtards!

mrblifil September 19, 2011 at 9:36 pm

He's used to firing the first shot alright, takes about 40 seconds and a sufficiently docile hamster.

Dr_pangloss September 20, 2011 at 9:29 am

Definately has to rent to own if you know what I mean. Totally Gay.

Tyrant September 20, 2011 at 9:50 am

I never thought of it before, but you'd think a woman would make him clean up a little better. He does always seem to have that three day bender look going.

BZ1 September 20, 2011 at 4:56 pm

there are times when I'm not thinking as clearly as I should, no sh*t Sherlock …

slowhansolo September 20, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Can you even imagine that fairy in a teeth-smashing, unzip-your-guts fight? No. The last thing Andy fought over was a front row seat at the Freddy Mercury estate sale.

So when he talks about bringing it on he means, of course, to people other than him.

politics_nerd September 20, 2011 at 9:58 pm

So who is Andie Breitbart, and why does he dress in drag 24/7?

Barrelhse September 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

That third shot to a sealed vacuum could produce quite an explosion.

102415 September 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I'm glad to see you are on duty today. I am frankly sorry however to hear you advocate wasting bullets. Chuck will charge extra for that shit.

user-of-owls September 19, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Well, technically it was Jackie, but still…

ttommyunger September 19, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Fer real!

tribbzthesquidz September 20, 2011 at 10:51 am

Haha! Farragut Nazis! Yeah, the West side of town isn't known for it's liberals. I reckon most of them are downtown way. I'm just saying there are more of us here than we're given credit for.

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