Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him

  this guy again

There is another solution to this problem, and it is called logging out of Twitter.Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their “class warfare.” Conservative anger bear furry and professional Twitter troll Andrew Breitbart wants “warfare warfare,” because he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo by everyone, on Twitter. HOW DARE THESE PEOPLE. Andrew Breitbart is the world’s biggest victim, Andrew Breitbart in case you had forgotten about him during the time it took you to read those other words, Andrew Breitbart, and he is not afraid to “fire the first shot” in the bloody national civil war between conservatives and liberals that is about to start, tomorrow probably, over the mean things the Internet is saying about Andrew Breitbart. Bring it on, General Janeane Garofalo (?), you and your army of socialist space robots do not stand a chance. Video of Andrew Breitbart’s insane call to war, after the jump!

None of it makes any sense unless you understand fluent paranoid wingnut, but what we can make out sounds something like, “Andrew Breitbart will give the cue for the military higher-ups to napalm Janeane Garofalo and the conservative militia will finish off the rest of the Nazis with their guns, and the victory party will be held over Katie Couric’s corpse, on her front lawn.”

So, yeah, everyone stop calling Andrew Breitbart gay, on Twitter.

[YouTube via RawStory]

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369 comments

    1. hagajim

      I thought he was waiting to shoot (his load) into the next black….or do I have it backwards, he's a receiver not a giver?

    1. hilbillyheroine

      Amen. His soft fluttering little hands, his nasal voice, and that thing about the Blackwater guys and his ass…well, I just think that it TMI. Gross. Had to cut it off.

    1. Barb

      I don't think it is so much about the drugs that Andrew is taking as it is about the drugs he shouldn't have stopped taking, if ya know what I mean.

          1. SudsMcKenzie

            I have (him), (them), "it" too. What they dont realize is the more followers we have the higher our all important pee goes up. So they are actually doing us a "favor", like an old TV star who still gets a stalker.

            p.s. they will never be my latex salesman.

    2. GhostBuggy

      He's gotta be on cocaine. First of all, he can't stop touching his nostrils. Secondly, he's a paranoid lunatic.

      1. Quayle2012_KNOT

        Combine that with a voice that sounds like he's destroyed his septum, and I'd say you're exactly right.

  1. user-of-owls

    Last Friday's "Hostage Tape" Reference: The Bachmann ad.
    This Monday's "Hostage Tape" Reference: Where's Riley again?

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        he hath borne Breitbart on his back a thousand times;
        and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!

        1. BarryOPotter

          Andrew's gorge rises at it. There were Riley's lips he has kissed he knows not how oft. Where be his thigh now?

  2. SorosBot

    But the next right-winger who shoots up mosque, a black church or an abortion clinic will just be a lone wolf, and it would be blood libel to blame such behavior on violent rhetoric of racist misogynist fear-mongers like Breitbart.

        1. tribbzthesquidz

          Here in good ol' Knoxville we've had Bam-Bam stickers on the vehicles with no problems. In fact, I see more Bam-Bam stickers than Nobama ones. Obvs, when the Repubs pick a candidate we will be seeing a lot of those.
          I ain't skeert o' no neck ass dumbfucks. Anyhow.

          1. tribbzthesquidz

            Haha! Farragut Nazis! Yeah, the West side of town isn't known for it's liberals. I reckon most of them are downtown way. I'm just saying there are more of us here than we're given credit for.

      1. SorosBot

        But they'll only say that in private; in public they'll just say "America brought this on itself, because of multiculturalism/abortion/gay sex, which forced this man to shoot/bomb all those people".

    1. Doktor Zoom

      "Relax! Your paranoid political fantasies notwithstanding, no one's going to take your guns away! Barring some seismic realignment in this country, the gun control debate is all but settled–and your side won. The occasional horrific civilian massacre is just the price the rest of us have to pay. Over and over again, apparently."

      Sparky the Wonder Penguin

  3. EatsBabyDingos

    Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay Breitbart Gay
    I'm seeing a trend.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      The only three autocomplete options Google offers when you type in his name:

      Andrew Breitbart wiki
      Andrew Breitbart twitter
      Andrew Breitbart gay

      Your honor, the prosecution rests.

    2. reliefsinn

      Wait, the military is going to shoot some liberals because they called Breitbart gay? Does this guy have some unresolved issues or something?

  4. Lascauxcaveman

    Andrew Breitbart will give the cue for the military higher-ups to napalm Janeane Garofalo

    LOL, better just nuke her from space to be sure, you pussy faggot.

  5. Gleem_McShineys

    Guess what is congealing in Andrew Breitbart's hair!

    (a) His own vomit
    (b) Someone else's santorum
    (c) Club For Growth Pomade (Norquist jizz)

  6. SexySmurf

    We outnumber them in this country

    Only in terms of the BMI.

    and we have the guns

    Thanks to lax red state gun laws, there are probably more guns in South Chicago than in every exburban McMansion and trailer park combined.

    1. Chichikovovich

      >We outnumber them in this country
      >>Only in terms of the BMI.

      Don't scoff. If they could harness the gravitational attraction of the amalgamated mass of tea party nation, they could reverse the Fundy tides.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      The idiotic NRA fought the handgun ban in Chicago – ha, ha, jokes on them!

      Plus, I know for a fact there are a shit load of armed pot smoking liberals up and down the West Coast. Even scarier for Breitbart, I've met a fair number of socially liberal hunters here in Oregon (I know, it is a weird demographic, but think Teddy Roosevelt Republicans who the party has left over the last 30-40 years).

    3. ragnarok4msm

      Chicago BANNED handguns ONLY criminals have them and Illinois is a BLUE STATE. 2008 Congr. Districting off.

    4. Rotundo_

      Not only that, but the folks in South side Chicago have a hell of a lot more experience using them than do Andy and his "Patridiots". The black folk from Chitown and many of the white folk who do vote democratic have guns and know how to use them effectively. Andy should be very careful what he wishes for. He just may get it in boatloads shortly.

  7. Amo_of_Bogio

    There is no power on earth, in space or between the dimensions of the multiverse that could make me click on that.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Look at this swinging pocket watch. Just look at it. Keep looking. Yes, that's it. Keep watching it.

      (When BB touches your thigh, you will not remember anything.)

    1. gullywompr

      Oh, I don't know, he's got that wavy long hair going for him, and those pouty lips, that boyish charm that makes you just want to cuddle him, those intense blue eyes like two deep azure pools that you just want to dive into and drown in…

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      I can think of only one example. It was when he said "There are times that I'm not thinking as clearly as I should"

  8. elviouslyqueer

    Andrew, the only reason why people in the military were coming up and thanking you is because they thought you were Bruce Vilanch.

    Also, "got my back" = GAY. So STFU, you prissy motherfucker.

    1. Rotundo_

      C'mon, Bruce is in better shape than Andy is. If he put on 50 pounds and went on a gin fueled lost weekend for a month or two there might be a passing resemblance. But even then Bruce would be more funny throwing up than Andy at his best.

  9. baconzgood

    "There are times when I'm not thinking clearly. Like when I'm drunk. Which is all the time. Fuck, I'm smashed outta my gord and can hardly stand right now."

    -Andrew Breitbart-

    1. Polythene_Pam

      Additionally, "they" can only win by bullying & teasing, because they have no substance to their arguments, but… "We can win because there are more of us"

      ?

        1. Sue4466

          But more of them have guns. So, second amendment remedies.

          And again, they will win by their stunning policy statements and irreproachable logic. Which they will force you to accept at gun point. And election rigging. Because libruls are nothing but bullies.

          Makes total sense.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      There's your problem. He is a Conservative member of the media. Logic has no place in his world.

    3. 102415

      Well to be fair he threatened us with someone else's guns. He was thinking pretty clearly about that fine point.

  10. gullywompr

    Somebody needs a hug. Riley, you there?

    Or maybe Anthony Weiner could just give him another reach-around.

  11. baconzgood

    Man he's really playing up that gay thing. For Christ sakes Andy go on Craigs list and get your self a date already.

  12. Texan_Bulldog

    "he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo". Okay, how about drunk douche bag?

    Seriously, he's about 20 years too old & 30 pounds too heavy to keep playing the drunken, bully frat boy.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      About 5 days too greasy, as well. Frat boys sometimes shower, and I am convinced that Breitbart does not.

    2. memzilla

      Isn't there something in body language (or maybe a Seinfeld episode) where if you touch your nose while talking, it means you're lying? Yeah, I think I saw it too… right around the time he was boasting about how the "high ranking military" said "we gotcher back."

  13. Come here a minute

    Naturally Breitbart can't speak coherently, because he's up all night creating user ID's and posting comments.

  14. SexySmurf

    So, yeah, everyone stop calling Andrew Breitbart gay, on Twitter.

    Next time someone calls him gay, Andy should just whip out that picture of Weiner's pecker he keeps on his iPhone. That should shut them up.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    "They are the bullies on the playground."

    Quite an accusation from an unshaven, bedraggled shrieking ninny threatening violence.

    1. GhostBuggy

      Yes, this is the best part. Somehow, we are – at once- bullies on the playground and afraid of their big di- uh, guns. Got it, you drunken, paranoid, delusional crybaby.

  16. veritass

    Breitbart: 'Major named people in the military grabbed me and got my back.'

    That doesn't sound gay at all.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I swear it sounds like the audience is laughing at him. I'm sure it's just the sound of fapping, as a room full of fat white men imagine that the uniformed, strapping studs of the US Miliary "have their backs" (ungh!), but for a minute there, I really thought that everyone was slapping their own thighs with mirthful, mocking laughter.

      1. Geminisunmars

        They were laughing at him until they realized that he'd stepped over into paranoid schizo land, and it got awfully quiet. Hard to snark watching someone be sick.

  17. metamarcisf

    When you're a cokehead and the person leading your intervention team is Bill Maher, maybe it's time to dial it back a bit.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      OT, but I almost want to downfist you, meta, since you're out of the red and headed toward — *shudder* — positive territory!

  18. SoBeach

    "They talk a mean game, but they will not cross that line."

    Andy Breitbart, on the other hand, WILL cross that line. So quit teasing him. I mean it.

    Do you really want your great-grandchildren to learn that the second American Civil War was fought and millions died because you couldn't resist taunting an insecure crybaby?

  19. SayItWithWookies

    And Andrew, nobody cares if you're gay (well, except maybe gays with taste who don't want to be associated with a guy who regularly appears in public looking like a recently-deceased Marlon Brando.) They care about your wild baseless accusations against ACORN, Planned Parenthood, every politician to the left of John Boehner and anyone who thinks we shouldn't be an oligarchy.

    1. emmelemm

      Marlon Brando libel!

      Even zombie Marlon Brando is more attractive than Breitbart. Sure, at the end, MB went off the rails, but behold and tell me there was never a more perfect specimen of a man:

      Vintage Marlon Brando

      1. SayItWithWookies

        I'm not impugning the young good-looking Brando at all — though to be fair, the Brando I think Breitbart resembles is more the Brando impression that Chris Elliott used to do on Letterman. This, for instance but more jowly.

  20. LesBontemps

    You'd think Breitbart wouldn't mind being called gay; at least it implies that he's getting laid by someone, rather than furiously/pathetically masturbating to Pam Geller videos.

  21. Tommmcattt

    "Gay " is a political term denoting a group of people who refuse to be bullied for who they love by intimation, innuendo, and lies. Andrew Brietbart is not gay.

    Andrew Brietbart is a self-loathing faggot.

  22. Goonemeritus

    Conservatives may indeed have more guns but I have to believe Democrat’s have way smaller prostates. I wouldn’t bet on Republicans if it came to a shooting war, it’s too easy to deny real-estate to a Hoverround.

  23. El Pinche

    "fire the first shot"
    That's closet conservative "xtian" gay code for getting bukkake'd by 2 or more vietnamese teen boys. Whatever turns your screw, you bloated turd bag.

  24. Oblios_Cap

    It's easy to be brave when you've got a face for radio, eh, Gay-ndy?

    Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their “class warfare.”

    A little class warfare might do this country some good. The other side has been waging it for decades and has just about won.

  25. fletc3her

    It's hard to imagine any man or woman wanting to have sex with that guy. Does his preference really matter either way?

    1. jus_wonderin

      He is the perfect evidence to support the Right Religious Fanatics saying allowing gay marriage will lead to folks wanting to marry their sheep. A sheep is all BBart could might (and I am not sure he could run that fast to get it).

  26. elviouslyqueer

    Is Janeane Garofalo going to have to cut a bitch? Yes, yes, I believe she will have to cut a bitch.

  27. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I can't believe anything Brietbart says until he shows me his long form graduation certificate from the Marcus Bachmann school of de-gaying.

  28. HedonismBot

    The last thing he said was what kind of jumped out at me.
    So, he agrees that liberal and progressive protests get next to zero coverage from the lamestream media, even while the liberal press hacks slobber all over every Tea Party rascal scooter-fest from sea to shining sea.
    But it was news to me to learn that the progressives and Democrats want it that way. So now I know – thanks to Breitbart – it is all part of a conspiracy carried out by the liberal "bullies on the playground."
    A true Merkin hero, standing up for the oppressed corporate executives and the white morans who dance to their fiddle.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      No, no, you see, the liberals picketing Good Patriotic American CEOs are actually a huge embarrassment to the Big Liberal Media, so they sweep it under the rug. If the protests got massive coverage, it would totally prove how morally bankrupt liberalism is, so the liberal media refuses to pay any attention to the liberal protesters, so it can get on with the work of brainwashing the American People who would see through the liberal protesters' message. But not the Liberal Media's message.

      See how easy that was?

  29. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And, really, if Breitbart wants to be taken seriously, he needs to dress up like a pimp, and then edit everything he says to make himself look gay. Them people will know it is not true.

  30. horsedreamer_1

    Andrew Breitbart is the world’s biggest victim.

    So, you're saying, Andrew Breitbart is a character portrayed by Sarah Palin?

    Guess the Duhv'nor had to do something with the fake baby-bump left over from Bristol's first pregnancy.

    1. HedonismBot

      All these people are characters played by Andy Kaufman. Even when they're all standing shoulder-to-shoulder on stage, a la last week's Tea Party debate – each one of them is him.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Well, to be fair – I've seen Weiner's dick, and it wouldn't put enough distance between you and Sweaty McFartstack. Kanye West's dick, though…

  31. OneDollarJuana

    I'm surprised he thinks Katie Couric's teenagers would be scared by Teabaggers. Last time I checked, most teenagers are teabaggers, of a sort. "Whaddya mean, you're gonna make me pay for that dented fender? And keep your hands off my allowance!"

  32. HedonismBot

    And dear me, but I thought military folks were supposed to be loyal to their commander-in-chief, regardless of personal politics or party affiliation. Yet another liberal media lie.

    1. hilbillyheroine

      Andy got "it on" with "Men At Work", and because they ass-slammed him, told him he was "good", he got all confused. He now thinks the "military" has "his backside". Well, I guess, some of them do. Maybe.

  33. lamorenabruja

    Merciful heavens. It's like you can smell his frustration thru the computer. This is one dude who needs a hot beef injection like nobody's business. Somebody put a dick in his mouth so he can STFU already. And hold him for a few minutes after. He looks like he gets pretty girly when it's over.

  34. BarackMyWorld

    Ok, maybe I'm confused, but he seems to be saying liberals won't resort to violence but conservatives will….which is an excellent argument for taking conservative ideas seriously, I suppose.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      No, not at all, he's saying that conservatives would NEVER resort to violence….until those goddamned treasonous America-hating babykilling evilhorriblebadbadbad liberals cross the line, and then good decent patriots will rend the unholy enemies of America limb from limb and grind them into a fleshy pulp.

      So liberals, violent though their sick evil impulses are, wouldn't dare push conservatives too far.

  35. baconzgood

    So the army is going to slaughter the political foes of Andrew Breitbart because someone twated that he was an ass cowboy? Is this the kinda shit that rolls about in fags his head?

    (my apologies to the LGBT people for the insulting language. Specifically implying that Andrew Breibart is a homosexual)

    1. henrypuppyhead

      Yes, the military is all about treason these days. Let's just throw this out there. Who do you think the rest of the world would support if the military leaders attempted this coup that "Pound my ass into Peanut Butter" Breitbart is talking about? The very personification of George Bush's arrogance or the partisans that actually still believe in the concepts of the Constitution?

      Typical despot thinking.

  36. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This really seems like a strange complaint from a person who got his start as Drudge's fluffer.

  37. prommie

    I wonder who these un-named "named" major military people are. Has he been hiring the services of ex-marine Jeff Gannon for some "major" military-themed butt-frothing activities?

    1. 102415

      Some drunk dude who wants to be gay but needs to be totally passed out first. Sad because nobody bothers to fuck him but he doesn't realize it. It's all very upsetting.

  38. ttommyunger

    Gosh, Breitie, if you're so anxious to shoot someone, join the fucking Army or the Marines already. You're not too old and as of midnight tonight I understand they can't keep "teh gheys" (by that I mean you) out.

    1. Steverino247

      He could enlist as a "Cum Catcher" (MOS69U2) and serve with the 2/72nd Prophylactic Testing Detachment at Ft. Hymen, Utah.

  39. Trannysurprise

    The history books will read something like:

    "CW II was terrible time in our nations history. It was General Breitbart that finally made a stand at the CW II battlefield we now call "Starbucks Crossing." Facing overwhelming odds against the Union forces, the Labor Union forces that is, he met General O'Donnell and her band of fighters known as the "Canyon Yodelers" for the bloody showdown."

    "The fighting was soon over as the troops became confused on who to follow, considering both generals looked so much alike" reported Lt. DeGeneres.

    1. Rotundo_

      Now that one I would love to see done up in full Ken Burns motif. I would have to be sedated and catheterized to get through it without destroying the room I viewed it in, but it would be worth it, oh, soooooooo worth it.

  40. user-of-owls

    Sorry to be a style-manual nag, but Strunk says you should never juxtapose "long" and "Breitbart"…even in verb form.

    And White fucking concurs.

    1. 102415

      What happened to the rich wife in Beverly Hills? Seriously I can't keep up and still get the plants all watered and the dog walked.

    2. mayor_quimby

      I was wondering exactly what kind of ring he was wearing. Is there some sort of top/bottom ring code I am unfamiliar with?

  41. Callyson

    If you google "Andrew Breitbart," Andrew Breitbart gay is only 4th on the list. Time to get to work! Santorum II–it's on!

  42. iburl

    In case this war starts, we should make sure we've got our Librul Line of Succession straight…
    1) G. Soros
    2) J. Garafalo
    3) M. Moore
    4) K. Olbermann
    5) A. Gore
    6) B. Frank

  43. DaRooster

    Remember a looong time ago when Fucks Noose was rippin' on how violent James Hoffa was… man… that guy was so outrageous…

  44. OneYieldRegular

    Yes, how astute, the left doesn't want to push Andy Breitbart and his ilk too far because we know they might fight back with all their guns (oooo!), instead of, you know, not wanting to push Andy et al because a) not all of us find violence fantasies titillating in this already incredibly violent enough country; b) we already had one civil war and, just perhaps, it might be a good idea to try doing what we can to avoid having another one; and c) why bother to indulge such self-aggrandizing, puerile boy-man behavior? Oh, and d) Katie Couric, are you kidding me?

  45. kateinmt

    Most of the websites I belong to don't allow words some find offensive (silly moralists). Thank God for Wonkette, because given the chance, I'd tell ol' Pudge there he's a wanking chocolate starfish, noob-faced, twat-hatted ignorant asshole. And I don't like him much, either.

    Thank you. I feel far better now.

    1. BornInATrailer

      Oh yeah? Try saying re-tarded!

      Attica! Attica! Attica! <– said in terrible mimicry of a special needs child

      I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell.

  46. Barrelhse

    I'm gonna give the little bitch a wedgie.
    Also, gay Andrew Breitbart is a gay homosexual gay person who is gay.

  47. HistoriCat

    Perhaps the self-loathing closet case should refrain from publicly humping (male) interns if he doesn't want people to think he's gay.

  48. HelmutNewton

    Breitbart and Marcus Bachmann need a playdate or 12 together. Maybe if he got some hot man-on-man lovin' he wouldn't be so angry all the time…

  49. Tundra Grifter

    That's a whole lot of words about something that is "unspoken" – unless, of course, he's talking about the love that dare not speak its name.

  50. GortRay

    Breitbart is crazier than a bag of bees. If that performance isn't a meth-rant I don't know what is. Also. He is gayer than Paul Lynde's sock drawer. And if you happen to read this Herr Breitbart….bring it on dude. Cuz I am sick to death of listening to right wing maggots like you who were the weird smelly fat kids with no friends in high school. Bring it boy.

  51. DahBoner

    From Wiki:

    "He changed his political views after experiencing an "epiphany" during the Clarence Thomas hearings"

    "Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?"

    What a great guy! I wanna be an asshole just like him…

  52. FakaktaSouth

    I had the rare good fortune of getting to have a drink at lunch today and am at the feisty end of a decent little buzz. I wish Andrew were here with me. Having read this I suddenly feel like punching a motherfucker and he looks just PERFECT for that. Thanks a lot for trying to incite rednecks to rise up you fucktard, I gotta live around these assholes, so stop fucking my shit up, all right? God he sucks.

    1. DahBoner

      Getting hardworking working class people to shill for billionaires is one fucking outstanding acheivement of the 20th Century!

  53. Mort_Sinclair

    Teh gey dude has serious anger issues. He's likely to go postal at any moment, so keep lightin' him up like a cheap cigar.

  54. Eve8Apples

    Andy is not gay. He's a mindless little goat fucker.

    Mr. Breitbart, I know gay people. Gay people are friends of mine, and you sir, are not fit to lick their gay boots.

  55. DaRooster

    On the same page as the article- (Andy's is the best segue ever)

    "Eel slithers up man’s penis during bath (The Raw Story)"

  56. Dumbedup

    I didn't know he was gay! I didn't think the gays would have such a fat drunken sack of shit. I guess they let anyone in these days.

  57. Papa_Uniform

    Yep Andy, you got the whole fuckin' military covering your back, and tomorrow you'll be able join up yourself and serve openly.

  58. MissTaken

    Hey BB, the cool kids not liking you has absolutely nothing to do with you being gay. It's the fact that you are a self-righteous, misogynistic, lying, fat fuck, drunken, piece of shit.

    Actually, being gay is the only thing you do have going for you.

  59. DerrickWildcat

    I'm pretty sure anyone that's ever been on the internet has been called a homo.
    In fact Samuel Morse's first telegraph message was, "Professor Charles Wheatstone is gay"

  60. anniegetyerfun

    What's a "homey gay"? Is he saying that people all calling him a black gay person, circa… like, 1990, or something?

  61. sford713

    From that photo, this cretin is desperately in need of a shower. He may be gay, but celibacy is a bitch and with a stank on like that I'm sure he qualifies as the most frustrated koch-sucker on the planet!

  62. raygotaway

    The way Andrew's hair looks like its got four different kinds of bodily fluids in it does something to me.

  63. Gorillionaire

    I really don't have anything to add except that this is the funniest comment thread since Turner Classic Movies had that Reagan birthday thing.

  64. antispandex

    THIS, was supposed to be his big, butch, straight statement? The guy just is dripping the gay….but the video could use some anti- butt sex references if he really wants to sell it. He should talk to a pro, or a Republican House member.

  65. Barb

    OT: My best friend, Bill just now stepped off a Delta plane, flight 108 from San Diego to Atlanta and Mitt was sitting across from him. Bill will board the plane for Dulles soon. I sent him my Palin books to read and he had them with him and didn't ask Mitt to autograph one. Not only that, he forgot to say, "My BFF, Barb watched you in the debates the other night and said she could smell your cologne through the TV."

    What's the use of having a BFF if they don't do the rude shit you dare them to? That's it, I am now interviewing for a new best friend, apply within.

      1. Barb

        I bet that had Mitt farted, it would have smelled like cinnamon.
        God, I can't believe Bill didn't do anything rude to amuse me. I'm starting to believe that the world is just going to H-E-double hockey sticks.

    1. antispandex

      My son was once standing by Rush Limbaugh and I begged him to ask, loudly, if there was a danger of drug interaction with Oxy Contin and Viagra, but he said he was too embarassed. You can pick your friends…

    2. SexySmurf

      Barb, if I was your friend I would have gone over and messed up Mitten's hair. He probably would have started crying or something.

      1. Barb

        Thanks Smurf, you are my real friend.
        Bill is using the excuse that he threw his back out and was in too much pain to get arrested for me. His wife, Joy had to dress him and get his hosiery on with his shoes. I don't want to hear about his "pity sox" I want gossip and lots of it.

    3. Eve8Apples

      San Diego is the location of Mittens' shabby La Jolla beachfront shack that he is supersizing. I would have smacked him upside the head with the books and said "How's that for class warfare you twat?'

    1. rahelio

      I'm pretty sure this miserable piece of shit should be on the latter but is abusing both.

      But what can you say? Birds of a bloated feather (RushBo) squawk together.

  66. poncho_pilot

    Breitbart must be trying to get the nomination??? i want to see him in the next debate.

    anyway, he's probably just jealous that, historically, more guys have wanted to fuck Garofalo than would ever even consider him.

  67. smitallica

    "My ideas are bankrupt and I'm an asshole, but I know people with guns, so there."

    Fuck you, Breitbart. And them.

  68. OKthennext

    Wait, he said PUBLIC Sector Union Thugs are bullies? School teachers, health care workers, EMTs and public administrators – ? What??

  69. henrypuppyhead

    Fun would be having a network of people going sniper on his ass with paint ball guns for a couple of weeks.

  70. ThundercatHo

    You know what I did this weekend, fuckwad? I went to a Liquor, Guns and Ammo party hosted by a couple of our lesbian friends. There was quite a bit of firepower there and folks who knew how to shoot pretty good. Lots of good food and drink, lots of smart people and if there were any asshole conservatives they were keeping their mouths shut.

  71. djpostl

    Lol, name the time and place Breitbart. I'll end your punk ass chicken hawk's existence in a New York minute. Scrub ass wannabe tough I say…

  72. SheriffRoscoe

    Somebody get Andy a cupcake. He can't get laid, what with that squishy ass of his, and he needs the endorphins.

  73. HolyCow!!

    Yeah, there's nothing more "vicious" than being called gay. What kind of evil person would do such a thing? Hitler maybe? Yeah, that's who.

  74. Tyrant

    I never thought of it before, but you'd think a woman would make him clean up a little better. He does always seem to have that three day bender look going.

  75. slowhansolo

    Can you even imagine that fairy in a teeth-smashing, unzip-your-guts fight? No. The last thing Andy fought over was a front row seat at the Freddy Mercury estate sale.

    So when he talks about bringing it on he means, of course, to people other than him.

  76. 102415

    I'm glad to see you are on duty today. I am frankly sorry however to hear you advocate wasting bullets. Chuck will charge extra for that shit.

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