Best Part of Palin Book: Crazed Palin Hysterically Saying ‘I F*&^d a Black Man!’

  america loves interracial porn

We sure aren’t going to read this trashy new book about trash-beast Sarah Palin, because we already know everything we ever want to know about that vapid narcissistic shithead. But David Corn’s review in Mother Jones has all the “dirty stuff,” so go read it if you want to know about this:

Another unnamed friend says that following the Rice date, Palin freaked out: “Hysterical, crying, totally flipped out. The thing that people remember is her freak-out, how completely crazy she got: I fucked a black man! She was just horrified. She couldn’t believe that she’d done that.”

Haha, you really think she said “black man”? [Mother Jones]

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154 comments

  1. Barb

    Like white on Rice, she fucked that black man. I'm sure she ran around town, telling everyone, "black men aren't really bigger, white women are just tighter." Because she is so superior, ya betcha!

  2. SexySmurf

    She was just horrified. She couldn’t believe that she’d done that.

    I'm sure it was no picnic for Glen Rice, either.

    1. chicken_thief

      Or "Trip" for triple threat – 28 ppg, 11 rebounds pg, and taking it to the hole with the local TV sports anchor.

    2. Sparky_McGruff

      My thoughts exactly. If there's one trait the Palin girls lead the world in, it's fecundity. Its the only thing they do where they can't be called quitters.

    1. LettucePrey

      "But what ones specifically? I’m curious."

      "Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years."

      "Can you name any of them?"

      "I have a vast variety of sources."

  3. edgydrifter

    And because her knowledge of biology is so keen, I'm sure she was crossing her fingers every time she pushed out a fresh Todd pod, praying that this one wouldn't come out black.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      thanks for 'a fresh Todd pod', just spewed wine all over my keyboard, again! (do they make keyboard protectors? it was already sticky enough after readin' about SP doing the Mandingo)

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            Aw, jeez, dood, and here I was hoping you would detail some one-handed typing episode. Damn!

            Oh, and stop that, it's not good for your computer.

          2. Dashboard_Jesus

            that's very Zen of you, what IS the sound of one hand typing? (tap, tap, tap or fap, fap, fap?)

            …and at least I have a separate keyboard for my laptop, learned long ago to keep the screen out of spitting distance while Wonketteering!

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Jeebus what a bitch. It's not like she fucked a Grizzly Bear.

    Tinted people don't have any strange plumbing compared to white people as far as I know it's the same. Dick goes in. Dick goes out.

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      I can assure you that all ethnic groups have pretty much identical plumbing, and their paraphilias do not discriminate by skin colour either.

  5. Barb

    Someone is asking for donations for a legal fund for Todd and Sarah to be able to sue over this book. Don't they have enough money of their own? They won't sue, trust me.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Soon to be 0.35 — hang on to it.

          I think I've got a million-dollar Zimbabwe note around here somewhere … I was using it as a bookmark. I'll gladly mail it in.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Why do you think Sarah is so earnest about meeting Margaret Thatcher? Being in England will establish jurisdictional right to sue in English/British tribunal.

  6. horsedreamer_1

    This would explain why Sarah left tee-vee news so abruptly. Yes, she did elope with Todd around the same time, & might well have been carrying Track (who is, alas, not coffee with cream enough to be Glen Rice's child), but I cannot see how either would precipitate needing to leave the job. Fraternizing with the individuals she was charged to cover, impartially, would, though. I suppose someone at KTUU knew about the tryst, way-back, then, & offered to let Sarah Heath go quietly or get dumped unceremoniously.

  7. Come here a minute

    Big deal — even straight male local teevee sports reporters can't resist giving pro athletes a blow job.

          1. Rotundo_

            How could Ginny resist a man as smooth as Clarence? I'll bet she still has the first coke can he left a hair on for her.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Please. I'm begging you. Never, ever let any other human being be subjected to the voice of Gilbert Gottfried, ever again.

          1. tessiee

            Somebody or other made an internet video about the downfall of that annoying paper clip character from MS word. Said paper clip character was voiced by Gilbert Gottfried.

      1. Goonemeritus

        If you are Alf Engers shouldn’t you be having holes drilled in your bike or setting some record somewhere?

  8. elviouslyqueer

    My my my, lookie here!

    Palin ran for mayor of Wasilla with one public issue: more bike paths.

    Whaddya think about that, Tom Coburn? IOKIYAR?

        1. horsedreamer_1

          I noticed that mention of her platform. & I lollered.

          As to biking in Alaska, I'm sure, summers, adventure tourism, there's prolly a fair amount of biking going on.

      1. Rotundo_

        You have 2 days of "biting insect season" one week of spring, one week of fall with the remainder being winter. Assuming you dont get drained by the mosquitos or et by a bear, you might be able to get some cycling time in. Then you can put it on a stationary trainer and the other fourty nine and a half weeks you can watch the snow fall.

  9. Chillwaver

    "Another unnamed friend says that following the Rice date, Palin freaked out: “Hysterical, crying, totally flipped out. The thing that people remember is her freak-out, how completely crazy she got: I fucked a black man! She was just horrified. She couldn’t believe that she’d done that.”

    I call this story BULLSHIT. Sarah has no friends…

  10. widestanceshakedown

    Thus far, I've sat this story out because it INFURIATES me that the media will still say things like "interracial tryst." JFC, the 50s have been over for over 50 years and still, we are seeing this in print. It smacks of something very ugly in "post-racial" America that it is acceptable, even in liberal blogs like HuffPo to play into jungle fever sensationalism. As the salt portion of a salt/pepper relationship (12 years + counting), I seethe with anger that my partner has to see this in places that ought know so much better. Yes, we joke around plenty at home about jungle fever, but national news sources are another matter.

    I promise I'll resnark-up for my next comment.

    1. johnnyzhivago

      I totally agree – the sensational part of this is that Palin, a "professional" (as in supposedly paid) reporter sleeps with a STUDENT athlete she's supposed to be covering. It's just completely amazing, totally irrespective of race!! I imagine there was a several year difference in age too, given Palin's seven year college career.

    2. WhatTheHolyHeck

      I agree in principle, but in this case it's appropriate to report on the racial issue because she'd been outed as a racist in the past, including the very recent past ("So Sambo beat the bitch!" in 2008).

      1. widestanceshakedown

        And I agree with you in principle. Nonetheless, the coverage only scandalizes without framing the story about her hypocrisy, only the OMG/BLACK DICK drama.

      2. Pristine_ODummy

        A racist, a sexist, and an utter hypocrite. This is the same woman who refers to Alaskan Native people as "snow n******."

    3. Radiotherapy®

      Good point. If the player was Kyle Macy or something like that, would there be any sensation? Like I said above, Palins like to fuck and who gives a fuck, or is at all surprised. The joke here is on Joe McGinness and the media.

    4. Guppy06

      Black, white… she didn't abstain before marriage.

      Put that in your Alaskan sex ed "textbook" (flash card).

    5. Pristine_ODummy

      The attitudes of the 50s live among us today. Interracial tryst is a phrase that always perks up my ears. The whole construct of "race" is a mistaken notion in and of itself, and in this century when Chinese and Korean and Guatemalan and African kids are being raised by white/nonwhite families, it's excruciatingly painful to the ear, no?

      I have to ask: are you the female or male half of the couple? It seems that more white women marry men of colour than the other way around. Of course, you don't have to satisfy my curiousity, and I won't even make a peep about it, but in many ways, I think it's more difficult to be the male (white) half of an interracial couple.

      1. widestanceshakedown

        I am in real life the white male half of an interracial same sex coupling. My crappy avatar (Palin's head on a toddler body) often leads to assumptions of 'femality' although I can't say as I get hit on over it. Which is fine, really.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          In which case, I truly feel your pain, brother. It must be hard to looking your loving partner in the eyes with all this crap being flung about. It makes me cringe, it must be worse for you. Kudos to your partner for not falling into the bitterness and resentment that often marks my own comments. May you have many more happy years together.

          1. widestanceshakedown

            Your bitterness and resentment are an asset here at least, eh?

            Pristine, I have to thank you for those words. We hell-bent on destroying marriage seldom hear such heartfelt wishes for our future. I will somewhat counter your thoughts about my pain to say that when Obama won in 2008, there was no spontaneous street celebration that could touch just watching my partner's face when the polls declared him the winner. Can't even begin to describe it. I felt like the luckiest man in the world to just to be able to see it. And kiss it goodnight. Fuck the haters.

            Alright now, I gotta get some snark back online!

          2. Pristine_ODummy

            You're welcome, widestance. I'm just delighted to think of you and your partner celebrating President Obama's win. Straight people just don't see us for who we are, do they? I know so many happy old gay couples who have been together 40 or 50 years in a loving marriage — yet one out of every two straight marriages has ended in divorce long before those dumbfucks even acknowledged we might have a right to marry. Kiss your partner for me and give him an extra hug, if you can. We WILL, we SHALL, we MUST overcome!

            Back to teh snark!

  11. widestanceshakedown

    In fairness to Palin, in her mind she had just committed 2/5ths bestiality, so should we cut her some slack? Or just cut her?

  12. SayItWithWookies

    Well I can't say that all that stuff is believable — but then again, Sarah doesn't seem to care whether the things she calls facts are true either. Live by the fiction, die by the fiction.

  13. GregComlish

    This is almost the exact same breakdown she had after she got with Todd:

    "I just fucked a man who is three eighths Innuit!!! Three eighths!"

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      I know we shouldn't care on Wonkette but Todd is part Yup'ik. Innuit aren't even Alaskan Eskimo, but of other Arctic nations. Alaska's Arctic Eskimo are Inupiat or Inupiaq.

  14. HelmutNewton

    Reached by phone, Palin commented on the Glen Rice allegations, "Rice got me drunk on wine coolers, took me camping and fucked the ever-lovin' shit outta me! You betcha!"

  15. FakaktaSouth

    Whew. I for one am relieved. I was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to being jealous of Sarah Palin. I mean, Glen Rice is 6'8", and at the time a college basketball player, strong legs, stamina and such. Thank God she came back around to being the gross, vile, trash bag I am sure she really is.

  16. Rotundo_

    The only way I can imagine this happening is that she couldn't speak for some reason. If that mouth went off then as it does now there is no way he would have touched the woman. On the other hand if she was unable to talk, it probably would have been a pretty enjoyable evening. I can't wait for the Taiwanese CGI animators to jump on this one.

    1. tessiee

      "The only way I can imagine this happening is that she couldn't speak for some reason. "

      Yeah, SOME reason, huh huh huh!

  17. mumbly_joe

    Honestly, the amazing thing is that the knowledge that Sarah Palin was hysterical with horror upon realizing that she was now a race-mixin' race-traitor miscegenist has actually not changed my opinion of her, at all.

    I guess it's true what they say, about once you've hit bedrock.

  18. widestanceshakedown

    I bet it was not so much a Mandingo fantasy thing that got her off, but the thought of him hanging for it later.

  19. NorthStarSpanx

    It's a good thing she didn't go all Bristol and accuse Rice of stealing her virginity.

    Guess she wasn't a virgin? How does abstinence before marriage work with the Heath/Palin?

  20. sarabenincasa

    I feel like she never actually went on a date with him or fucked him, you guys. She's not THAT cool.

    1. Spurning Beer

      She was one of those bitches who brags in the locker room that she fucked some stud, but is actually a masturbating loser, huh?

      This could make an excellent sit-com plot.

    2. Pristine_ODummy

      Dear Benincasa, not even ONE little epithet? Not one "masturbatory marmots of the midlife" for us all? I guess we just don't mean enough to you.

  21. ttommyunger

    Rest assured the NBA and the NAACP both are preparing their libel suits at this very moment. The very idea!

  22. ThundercatHo

    She's probably lousy in bed. One of those women who has to get drunk first and then just lays there. Afterwards some guilty crying or "you'll call me won't you?" Plus, I'd bet anything she was a cocktease.

  23. MistaEko

    She was just horrified. She couldn’t believe that she’d done that.

    And sadly that would be the last time she would feel such emotions.

  24. Respitetini

    Wow. This is kinda like when that sitcom gets even more horrible, and people stop watching, so they bring on a new character like a precocious kid or something.

    One can only hope this doesn't get renewed for next season.

  25. NewtsChicknNeck

    I am putting the over/under on porn remakes at 3.5 (for the production week beginning Sept. 19, 2011 and ending Sept. 22, 2011).

  26. ManchuCandidate

    I've always suspected that Grammie Grifter Grizz uses her hatred of Barry to cover up her real desire to ride him like a pony and lick him all over like a chocolate ice cream cone.

  27. Callyson

    Well, at least we know that there is *one* compromise Obama is unwilling to make for bipartisan cooperation…

Comments are closed.