Ron Paul: Africa’s Famines Will End When They Quit Being So Socialist

  karl marx ruined africa

Ron Paul! He knows what’s wrong with Africa. All the famines, the people dying over there that you may have heard about in the news lately? It’s because Africa is socialist. The whole place! RON PAUL, on Africa: “All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you compare famine, the countries that are more socialistic have more famines. If you look at Africa, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have famines and no medical care.” Elect Ron Paul President of Africa!

We’ll go out on a limb and assume the good doctor is referring to something he half heard about “Somalia,” one of those towns in Africa, and all of the deeply awful famines occurring across the “Horn of Africa,” the county where Somalia is located. Somalia is not actually socialist, though, Ron Paul! Somalia is ruled under a system called “anarchy,” one where there is no actual cohesive federal government or institutions or regulations or security, which is technically speaking the freest market system of them all. That’s weird! Has Somalia realized they aren’t following Ron Paul’s rules? [Crooks and Liars]

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351 comments

      1. horsedreamer_1

        I remember, after the Afrikaaners ceded control to the black-majority, there was much ado over RSA leaving the Commonwealth of Nations (may not have have happened…) & how that imperilled the nation's well-being. The Queen rules by divine right, & by rejecting her, Mandela was rejecting God, &, well, He would not smile on South Africa, anymore.

        1. snoopyfan2010

          And this is the same Commonwealth that was not able to get Great Britain to place sanctions on South Africa to stop apartheid? I don't understand why they would leave that group?

    1. the_problem_child

      Not hardly. But we won't have good medical care for much longer if the terminally obese keep sucking up resources.

    2. Gurkman

      Chileans are doing alright though. No idea why the entire city of Santiago is protesting against their capitalist utopia.

    3. bflrtsplk

      He's got a point. I live "up north" and I recently lost 20 pounds after my socialist doctor told me to lose weight or greatly increase my risk of having a heart attack. Why I haven't had a decent meal in … 10 minutes.

  1. glamourdammerung

    According to Paul, Somalia must be one of the world's strongest economies. Of course, this merely once again demonstrates how firmly rooted in reality Papa Doc Paul is.

    1. iburl

      Sadly, he is actually more grounded in reality than almost all of his GOP opponents. In other words, Ron Paul is dead right on maybe 20% of stuff. For the others it's more like 3%-ish.

      1. Negropolis

        Sadly, when Grandpa Ron is off — unlike some of the others who are obviously just playing a character and pandering — he is way-the-fuck off.

          1. LetUsBray

            Hey, they both have "Holocaust" right in the name, don't they? It's just like how Nazi is short for National Socialism, and that proves libruls are Nazis.

        1. iburl

          True, however, that actually makes him less of a threat. People like Mitt and Goodhair, who try to pass for normals, can actually win.

    1. edgydrifter

      A Rand-ish friend of mine took great exception to this very thing when I mentioned it to him the other day. He started screaming at me that Somalia was a bullshit, invalid example. Not surprisingly, he was entirely unable of explaining why it was a bullshit, invalid example.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Because there is not a strong central government to control the anarchy of going Galt…,

        Oops, tricked myself.

          1. Dashboard_Jesus

            PERFECT, exactly what I was going to say…but it seems more appropriate coming from you Ayn Randytard!

      2. emmelemm

        This question is part snark, part serious, but not meant to offend:

        Why would you be friends with someone who would scream at you about Somalia, FFS?

        1. edgydrifter

          We've been friends a loooong time. He's always been really earnest about whatever he's into; this is just the most recent thing. I call it his Galt-curious phase. He'll probably be yelling at me about my unapologetic meat eating a month from now. His great passions are all fleeting and Not To Be Taken Seriously.

          1. TheMightyHaltor

            If I ever go "Galt-curious", it would be in my rational self-interest to shoot myself in the face.

      3. CZL

        If pressed, libertarians will ALWAYS remark that the reason Scandinavia is so socialist and successful is because they are "ethnically homogenous" (yes, I'm sure the Finns will LOOOVE to hear that!) whereas in Africa they have "tribal hierarchies and divisions."

        What it boils down to is that in his neckbearded heart, every libertarian believes white people can, in the absence of government, govern themselves, whereas browns, blacks, yellows and other "races" must needs have a strong white hand governing them.

        1. LetUsBray

          The funny thing is, Canada is about as ethnically homogenous as the US, isn't it? And yet, as socialistic as Canada is, they've still managed to keep the whole famine thing reasonably under control.

          1. Chichikovovich

            By some yardsticks Canada would count as *less* ethnically homogeneous, what with the two official languages, and quite distinct anglophone and francophone cultures. So I guess AK-47 battles will be breaking out in the streets any day now.

          2. PuckStopsHere

            Actually, they had a little bit of that going on a few short decades ago when some of the Quebecers got serious about leaving The Dominion and kidnapped the guy who was Canada City's Secretary of State or something like it, and murdered him. Things have quieted quite a bit on that front, but there is a sizable faction in that province who feel Quebec should be a nation unto itself. I think, in fact, it is the reason the Expos left.

          3. LetUsBray

            And indeed, what you're describing is practically as bad as Somalia, if not worse.

            I don't follow baseball. But I thought the Expos skipped town because no one went to their games.

          4. PuckStopsHere

            The Expos did skip town on account of poor attendance. Because of separatist terrorists. Who wants to be there the night they blow up Jarry Park, or wherever in the hell it was they played? Hengh???

          5. chicken_thief

            One L Michele, except for that one lady's HPV induced mentally deficient daughter? And Marcus, of course….

    2. horsedreamer_1

      You mean to say, the Randian Utopia is in East Africa? In that case, I think we have found Galt's Gulch even before we will have found the Garden of Eden. Galt's Gulch is… the Olduvai Gorge.

      1. LesBontemps

        Well, if you're looking for fossilized hominids, the Ayn Rand Book Club and Olduvai Gorge are probably your best bets.

    1. emmelemm

      Who's probably never BEEN to Africa, once. Or met anyone from Africa who wasn't driving him in a cab or serving/selling him food somewhere. Or cleaning his office.

    2. LetUsBray

      Hey, I'll have you know that Dr. Paul is the go-to expert on Africa among racists living in their moms' basements who love their weed.

      1. WunkRocker

        Last time we did that the market decided we should just sell them Africans to crackers in the US of Americas. Why don't these Randtards apply this "markety sense" to gay marriage?

  2. Mort_Sinclair

    Fifty percent of all physicians graduated in the bottom half of their class. And Duke University gave this anencephalic loon a medical degree.

        1. Radiotherapy®

          True story: The dumbest person in a medical school class was instructed to do a TB skin test on a patient. Typically, 0.1 ml is injected subcutaneously into the forearm. But said student asked the resident (junior smug physician?), "where should I inject it." Resident answers flippantly, "on the scrotum!"
          Oh yes she did.
          See, you can learn from stupid people. I learned that if you are going to be flippant, be very careful.
          And, whilst I despise pompous physicians, in general, lawyers still are fodder for more jokes.

          1. Dashboard_Jesus

            FUCK, thanks for reminding me what a total douchebag/ moron Bush is…those 18 seconds sum up the asshole's entire 8 fucking years!

          2. Negropolis

            And, yet, it's Obama who is disrespectful of our military. I shouldn't have clicked on that link; now, I'm mad again.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Have you seen the Cameron Crazies? Ever heard Krzyzewski go full Teatard?

          I'd say, yes, sociopaths are Durham's stock in trade.

        2. LettucePrey

          Duke also gave a law degree to Tucker Max, the biggest asshole in the non-political world, so yes. Yes, they do.

    1. chicken_thief

      That's one way to get rid of Newt. He'll will be over there picking through shit in a NYC second, at least until he finds enough precious metal to replace Miss Botox.

  3. OneYieldRegular

    I'll never forget the famine I once experienced in socialist France when my local boucherie ran out of foie gras.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      you patented that? fuck, now do I owe you a royalty every goddam time I watch the Teatard clips presented here, for my amusement?

      1. ArmoredLibunatic

        Pssshaa, with the way patent laws "work" these days, I could sue you for infringement of patents on sighs that haven't even entered commercial production. Free market, bitchezzz!

        1. Dashboard_Jesus

          how about groans, you got any patents pending on those yet, cuz I use a lot of 'em (usually followed by the sighs, they seem to go well together)

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        The redhead baby vamp from "True Blood," but she would be required to appear every day on TV for at least 2 hours wearing lingerie (briefly).

  4. Radiotherapy®

    Like him, or hate him, Francis Fukuyama, in The Origins of Political Order, destroys the Paultards in a few sentences:

    Many parts of sub-Saharan Africa are a libertarian's paradise. The region as a whole is a low-tax utopia….Rather than unleashing entrepreneurship, this low rate of taxation means that basic public services like health, education, and pothole filling are starved of funding. The physical infrastructure on which a modern economy rests like roads, courts and the police are missing….people are free to protect their own families, and indeed they are forced to.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      But I only want to pay for the roads that I drive ON! Why should I pay for roads that other people drive on?!

    2. Come here a minute

      Oh there you go again with your experts! What a bunch of elitist claptrap. When I want to find out about Africa, I don't ask the experts, I just listen to whatever half-formed thought wandered from Ron Paul's brain to Ron Paul's mouth, thank you very much.

    3. mumbly_joe

      Fun fact: Of sub-Saharan Africa Botswana actually is a socialism success story, in a lot of ways: one of the first things they did was part-nationalize their considerable diamond industry (50% of diamonds, by value, come from Botswana), which means a) no diamond conflicts, and b) tremendous government revenue, which they invested in things like public schools and public health programs- you know, all those things the people of Botswana didn't have when the area was occupied by a foreign power, and things the people of Botswana thought they might like to make sure they gave themselves, now that they could self-determine.

      And thus, Botswana is currently one of the wealthiest, most stable democracies in Africa. Hit pretty hard by the HIV pandemic, but it also has the aforementioned public health apparatus to actually have a chance at fighting back.

      Ron Paul is pretty sure that Botswana would be better off if they had just let DeBeers completely loot the country, instead, like what happened throughout the rest of Africa.

      1. user-of-owls

        Silly Joe. How could a country named Botswana exist in Africa?

        Seriously, you're absolutely right…they are doing good in that place. And you know what else? Uganda…fucking Last King of Scotland Uganda…is also doing some good.

        "Uganda has been among the rare HIV success stories, one of the reasons being openness.In the 1980s, more than 30% of Ugandan residents had HIV; this had fallen to 6.4% by the end of 2008, the most effective national response to AIDS of any African country."

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uganda#Health

      2. Radiotherapy®

        I learn so much at the Wonkettes.
        And the DeBeers monopoly is a fantastic point. One of the forgotten tenets of our sociocapitalistic hybrid system is the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. Over a century ago they realized unfettered capitalism is dangerous. Just as Marxism (as a conceptual framework) is not practical. Fucktards such as Paul, or even more importantly, Innanity or Russ Limbo, have such a simplistic, one sided view of an incredibly complex civilization. Free market crap. Socialism is bad. For simpletons.
        We really need to change our paradigms and terminology.

        1. Dashboard_Jesus

          "We really need to change our paradigms and terminology" I usually have an immediate guttural response upon hearing the term 'change our paradigms' but in this context I agree wholeheartedly

          1. Negropolis

            Hey, just so long as we don't start talking synergy and thinking outside of the box, the other stuff doesn't bother me.

        2. glamourdammerung

          The part I always found sickly amusing about Libertarians and communists is that not only does neither system work due to human nature, they both use the same lame excuses to avoid admitting that their ideal state is simply not viable.

    4. An_Outhouse

      Francis is a girl's name and Fukuyama sounds like a nuclear reactor accident. Next time quote a real murkin.

  5. WhatTheHeck

    There are baboons in Africa and then there are baboons of the Tea Party. The latter group seems not to have evolved much.

  6. OneYieldRegular

    This is surely why the World Health Organization ranks the health care in that capitalist hotspot known as Cuba as among the best in the world, and superior to that in that in the U.S.

  7. Slim_Pickins

    And here I thought Somalia was the most advanced LIBERTARIAN country in the world, because you can do anything you want there and nobody cares…

  8. Come here a minute

    Oh, now I get it, he's a performance artist demonstrating the absurdity of the ideas he professes to support. Since most people haven't caught on yet, he's decided to take it to another level.

    1. mumbly_joe

      I love the reply to the comments in the description:

      "It's anarchism, not libertarianism, sure, but the only real difference between the two is a bachelor's degree"

    2. user-of-owls

      Ah, shit. I was hoping for dysentery. Hell, I'd even have settled for a bit of dengue. But cholera? It's so mundane these days, I mean it's practically rickets for crying out loud.

          1. not that Dewey

            As you know, you go to Wonket with the pun you have, not the pun you might want or wish to have at a later time.

          1. not that Dewey

            Be sure to check out their line of venereals. Chlamydia will totally melt your heart. I buy a set of the "Health" ones for anyone who has a yungun — kids love to cuddle with a plush representation of their disease while they're sick. A cute, fuzzy talisman, of sorts.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      How on Earth did he construct that sentence, say it out loud, and then continue on as if it had any meaning. That's a downright Bachmann-esque sentence.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      If you look at the moon, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have a terrible drought, and there's no air, and it's cold all the time.

  9. MissTaken

    You think Ayn Rand would send pennies a day to help some poor African kid get a mosquito net and clean water? Hell no! She would tell that kid to figure out a way to collect all those swarming mosquitoes and sell them on the free market.

  10. BlueStateLibel

    Weren't these libertarian wack jobs supposed to be building some flimsy island out in the Pacific? What's the goddamn holdup?

    1. poncho_pilot

      they're still waiting for one of their genius producers to discover the secret of Looser Building Codes. it's kind of like playing Civilization.

    2. not that Dewey

      Even international waters are too bureaucratic and authoritarian for them. They're going to wait and set up shop inside the next black hole that the LHC creates.

    3. prommie

      I'm assuming we are free to attack, conquer, and pillage said island, after they build it? Surely they would never beg protection from some "government."

  11. MarcelleMarceau

    I suppose Somalia's pirates should be hailed as entrepreneurs exploiting Somalia's lassez-faire market conditions.

  12. Callyson

    For a taste of reality…
    Agriculture in Africa is susceptible to climatic fluctuations, especially droughts which can reduce the amount of food produced locally. Other agricultural problems include soil infertility, land degradation and erosion, swarms of desert locusts, which can destroy whole crops, and livestock diseases. The Sahara reportedly spreads at a rate of up to 30 miles a year. The most serious famines have been caused by a combination of drought, misguided economic policies, and conflict. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famine#Famine_in_Afr
    Oh, but I'm sure that Africa would not have these environmental issues if it would just stop practicing that socialist crap and open up the free market…

    1. littlebigdaddy

      I used to teach a class on this a long time ago. There is also the unintended consequences of Western food aid, especially USAID, which has driven farmers out of business, because cheap can't compete with free. And of course in places like Zimbabwe you have kleptocratic dictators making conditions impossible for farmers. Add to this the corrupting effects of oil money, and you do indeed have an economic system out of whack, but certainly not because it is "socialist." I think Dr. Paul must have given himself the HPV.

  13. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Fucking Texas.

    I vote we rename them "Assholevania", and make them a territory with no Senators or Congresspeople (that can vote).

    Why should they have more political power than D.C., when they've proven over and over that they can't be trusted with it?
    ~

    1. SorosBot

      Or just ask his 2008 campaign manager! Oh wait, no you can't, because he's dead, because Ron Paul didn't give him health insurance.

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        ever since I learned (yesterday) of this disturbing 'fact' about RP's dead campaign manager I lost ALL respect I ever had for the man (OK I didn't really have ANY respect for him before, but now I REALLY hate him!)

  14. JustPixelz

    The story of Joseph in the bible describes a seven year famine in Egypt. Egypt had a pharaoh and slaves and was not socialist. Joseph foresaw the coming famine and convinced the Pharaoh to stockpile food. When the crops failed, the Egyptians did not starve. Thanks to Joseph's socialist plan to collect then share food from the bountiful years.

    Bible libel, Mr Paul. Bible libel.

    1. snoopyfan2010

      "All that believed were together, and had all things in common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.
      (Acts 2:44-45)

      Oops! Where did that come from???

      1. poncho_pilot

        this one always made me laugh:

        14 In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. 15 And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. 16 And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”

        John 2:14-16

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Look, that don't mean Jesus don't want people to git rich. It just means he thinks zoning laws should be strictly enforced.

          1. not that Dewey

            Holy Crap! (and I mean that literally!) I've never seen rejected Lawrence Welk Show audition tapes before.

          2. poncho_pilot

            libertarian: but…but…but Jesus initiated f-f-f-force! (libertarian spontaneously orgasms at the thought of being whipped by Jesus.)

          1. poncho_pilot

            "there's only one way to get ahead in sales and that's 40 Days and 40 nights of the best deals this side of the Jordan River! My prices are insane! And so am I!" –John The Baptist

        2. JustPixelz

          Apparently Jesus thought the temple market should be regulated.

          Anyway, the lost Gospels then go on to describe how the job creators moved south to Egyptixo for cheap labor (slaves).

      2. Negropolis

        Anyone remember what happened to the couple in the early Christian commune that didn't fully participate and tried to hide their wealth? Yeah, God actually killed them; they actually dropped dead the second they lied.

        The early Christian church was an actual, honest-to-god commune. It's something you don't ever heaer about.

  15. anniegetyerfun

    Um, I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but ARE there any socialist countries in Africa? I can't think of one, but then, I keep thinking that Mali is next to Singapore.

    1. fuflans

      i think your mistake is confusing 'socialism' with 'teabagger socialism' which translates (roughly) as: 'anything i don't really like and don't understand but someone smarter and more cynical than me has told me is bad and to the left'.

    2. the_problem_child

      There used to be a bunch of nominally socialist countries, for the USSR aid. But I can't think of any that are still.

    3. Negropolis

      Zimbabwe is pretty steeped in (crony) socialism, but, by and large, the socialism that was a very real ruling ideology in most African nation's after their independence in the 60's is now gone.

      These nation's were really ever "socialist" in the sense that they opposed the West for their colonialism. It was always more of an ideology in opposition to something else than it was a fully developed economic plan.

        1. Negropolis

          Well, they do have a nationalized railroad and power company, and they fuck around with agriculture ("land reform") even more than the United States, so, yeah.

          Mugabe is single-handedly one of the worst people in the world. I mean, he really, really is. And, to think, he actually could have been one of the good guys. You compare the route he took as opposed to the route Mandela took to the south and it makes you angry and sad.

  16. mausgeo

    And no EPA means choking on diesel fumes in downtown anywhere Africa. And no regulations give you slums built on top of gaslines.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only most of Africa had been under the control of Europeans for the last 200 years, surely they would appreciate the wonders of Capitalism.

  18. MissTaken

    Isn't Texas currently in a horrible drought? I never thought of the Lone Star State as socialist, but I guess I was wrong!

  19. Radiotherapy®

    It's right there in the Constitution — which you libruls wrote but don't bother to read any more, America is an unfettered Capitalistic nation. All that stuff about military-socialism complex and promoting the general welfare? Merely metaphor.

    1. JustPixelz

      The TP'ers believe in the perfection of ancestors. They're practically Confucian about it. The Constitution was perfect until we fucked it up starting with the 13th Amendment. The Bible is perfect and provides all the lessons we need. I'm waiting for them to also call for a return to biblical medicine (health care reform!) and one Representative for every 30,000 citizens.

      1. Negropolis

        You know, if you really to dig into their minds, I mean really dig into them, you'd find that they think the Bible was perfect up until Jesus actually opened up his mouth and said stuff. You know, forget about all that unambiguous shit about "turning the other cheek" and it being harder for a rich man to get into heaven than a camel (or whatever you Bible scholars) through the eye of a needle and telling the rich man to just plain, cold give up all his wealth, or calling people that make public displays of prayer hypocrites or hanging out with societal rejects, or all that "blessed are the poor" bullshit, or the early church being a commune etc…

        No, there's a Clint Eastwood Jesus, a man of few words who kicks ass and takes names later. He's a Jesus who'll shoot you right in the face, Dick Cheney style.

  20. BarackMyWorld

    Yes, lacking context of history and post hoc reasoning, socialism being the cause of the lack of quality medical care is one possible reason. Buuuutttttt…having their continent stripped of its natural resources resulting in a low standard of living is another.

    *sigh*

    1. MissTaken

      The ONLY positive of this guy is he holds on to his convictions for dear life:

      Person sick with no medical insurance – die
      Continent struggling with environmental and economic catastrophes – die

  21. randomsausage

    Seriously Libertariantards, this is the face of your movement? The man has the charm and gravitas of a 3lb turd. Which is exactly what his old-man colon squeezes out once a week. Like clockwork. Friday AM, 9-11.

    1. littlebigdaddy

      I would frankly pay more attention to his pronouncements if they were all accompanied by the rolling out of a blimp, especially if it exploded.

  22. Goonemeritus

    Subscribers to pure forms of any dogma really chap my ass. I always think they will get to live in their version of the world for some period of time and they will learn how foolish they are. This never happens I am old enough to have seen more than one commune break up over stupid shit. This happens on both ends of the political spectrum yet most “members” blame everything and anything but their philosophy. Think of that end of times preacher a few months ago, he was right he must of just dropped a decimal.

      1. Goonemeritus

        Fuck yes if they ever do and I doubt they will I will cancel cable and spend all my free time watching that. My favorite part is his pet peeve is zoning laws. Nothing says entertainment like free form naval architecture.

        1. emmelemm

          Nothing says safety like giving your "precarious platform on the open ocean" construction contract to the lowest bidder, who's out to make his own greatest profit. Free market FUCK YEAH!

  23. Redhead

    But Somalia sounds a lot like a Paultard paradise, with no taxes, no nanny state, no welfare queens stealin mah paycheck, no furriners stealing mah jerb, no government regulations, no over zealous police force…

    And there's famine there? And anarchy? And misery and death? You don't say!

  24. antispandex

    Oh, yeah, sure…let's say that the free market was able to decide. That would mean that only the rich people would get food, and then the poor would die off and the rich would have more because they wouldn't have to share with the dirty non-producers…..Ok, sure that makes sense. If you are a Nazi and all. Of course, then there would be no one to do the grunt work, and you would have to create more poor folk to keep the rich, well, rich…I'm getting pretty frickin' confused, Ron.

    1. subsum

      Actually, the poor don't just bend over and take it in the ass. They move against the rich. It's called revolution.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "only the rich people would get food, and then the poor would die off and the rich would have more because they wouldn't have to share with the dirty non-producers…. then there would be no one to do the grunt work, and you would have to create more poor folk to keep the rich, well, rich…"

      Sounds pretty much like where the GOP is taking us.

  25. fuflans

    i would like to point out the lack of gov't regulation in many of the countries one assumes dr paul is referencing. but on the same day dr. paul's moron son is undergoing intense scrutiny for backing gov't intervention when a fucking bridge on his watch is about to implode, really, the schadenfreude just takes over.

      1. comrad_darkness

        if they sold the toll rights, sure. Put a toll on every block of road and hand it over to private companies to manage. It will be a driving paradise!11!!!!

    1. glamourdammerung

      Actually, Rand said it was not a big deal until folks pointed out he was a moron. Then he started begging for federal money. So he is just like his father in that regard.

  26. ManchuCandidate

    Africa by Toto Paul

    I heard Ron Paul blathering tonight
    But he feels the wanking from an invisible hand job
    He''s coming on a money bomb blimp flight
    The rantings of Ayn Rand from the nuts that guide him towards salvation
    I stopped that old man along the way,
    Hoping to find some long forgotten words or casual inanities
    He turned to me as if to say, Hurry Dumbass, Somalia's waiting there for you

    It's gonna take a lot to drag you from me
    There's nothing a hundred thousand Paultards have spewed
    Socialism causes famines down in Africa
    Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

    The Paultards cry out in the night
    As they grow restless longing for some Randish sympahties
    I know that I must do what's right
    As sure as The Ron Paul Blimp rises like a toxic cloud above the US America
    I seek to cure what's deep inside, not surprised of the insanities that he's mouthed

    It's gonna take a lot to drag you from me
    There's nothing a hundred fat Paultards could ever do
    Socialism causes famines down in Africa
    Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

    Hurry Ron, Somalia's waiting there for you
    It's gonna take a lot to drag you away from me
    There's nothing that a hundred fat Paultards could ever do

    Socialism causes famine in Africa, Paul blames Karl Marx down in Africa
    Socialism causes famine in Africa, Paul blames Karl Marx down in Africa
    Socialism causes famine in Africa
    Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

  27. fuflans

    africa doesn't have any free market systems and property rights

    dr paul, implying all of africa is somalia is a little like saying all of america is texas.

  28. metamarcisf

    Thanks, Doc. But if I want that type of logic and insight, I'll go watch "Ancient Aliens" on the History Channel.

      1. Negropolis

        I'm watching it right now. I do it mostly for the lolz, but also because every once in awhile there is a bit of actual science fact in it.

  29. imissopus

    "Big government welfare bankruptcies."

    Yep, hit all the Paultard code words. Not in a context that makes any sense, of course, but he got 'em all in there.

    I'm at the point of saying let's give the Paultards a state or two, maybe a couple of those Southern ones where hardly anyone wants to live anyway, let them set up their own little independent nation with Ron Paul as President for Life, and let their hoped-for experiment in zero government run its course. Fuck it, it would be better than having to listen to any of them.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      let them set up their own little independent nation with Ron Paul as President for Life, let their hoped-for experiment in zero government run its course.

      Welcome to the Mississippi Delta, President Dr. Paul. Enjoy your stay.

    2. Chet Kincaid

      That is an excellent idea!! All of the so-called United States should be reorganized in the same manner as charter schools and "takeover schools" in our big-city public school systems. Give a bunch of states to a bunch of different organizations of varying political/social/religious philosophies, and let them "flourish" in new and innovative ways, away from the heavy bureaucratic hand of the Feds. Some Libertard States, some Afro-Centric States, some Dominionist States, perhaps even an All-Boy State and All-Girl State! Whichever state ends up with the biggest gross domestic product and the best standard of living after 5 years gets "rolled out" systemwide. We'll clean up the dead in the others.

      1. imissopus

        Unless the libertarians win, in which case everyone cleans up their own dead because SOCIALISM! NO GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS! NANNY STATE! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

        1. Terry

          The libertarians won't win. Sure, they'll all dine happily for a while on nothing but Chik-fil-a sandwiches while typing blog posts, but no actual work will get done and the infrastructure will crumble except behind the gates of the Koch brothers' estate.

    3. GunToting[Redacted]

      Only if we include a large dome, like in the Steven King (the author, not the asshole) novel, or in The Simpsons movie. Need to ensure that there are no outside influences on their little utopia.

  30. Rotundo_

    But these starved and thirsty folks over there have money right? Okay, then they have to have something to barter right? Okay, then there has to be work for them to *earn* some money and buy food and water then right? Okay, so what you're saying is that is that they have nothing, except possibly some clothing (okay, rags) and no work is available and there is no food or water to buy right? Well some enterprising folks need to take advantage of this low wage paradise immediately! Okay, so none of them have any useful skills since they are probably crippled and brain damaged from poor nutrition and dehydration? Damn it sure is hard to find market solutions to this sort of thing sometimes! Gosh, it's almost as if economic "law" doesn't really hold up too well in the real world. I know senator(s) Paul must have figured out a market solution that will involve no cost to the wealthy of the world to make this problem "go away". I know Libertarian policy must hold a solution, it can't just be "Fuck you I got mine, sucker!" like the naysayers claim. Ron is just holding out to reveal his master plan……

    1. chicken_thief

      "I know Libertarian policy must hold a solution, it can't just be "Fuck you I got mine, sucker!"

      Sadly, I think that is exactly their stand.

  31. randomsausage

    Sir, Ron Paul evacuating himself is like a dog walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.

  32. johnnyzhivago

    Ron Paul as usual is spot on here… Africa's finest moment was during the free market salad days of King Leopold's of Belgium's reign when Africans had their hands cut off if they didn't harvest enough rubber.

  33. Doktor Zoom

    TR Reid had an interesting observation in his 2009 book The Healing of America, which compares healthcare around the world. He noted that every country's doctors think there are huge problems with their own system's priorities in healthcare delivery…and that NO ONE in other developed countries wants their systems to become more like America's. In fact, in Europe, suggesting that a change to one of the existing systems will usher in "American style medical care" is usually a form of scaremongering that terrifies those folks as badly as the term "socialized medicine" scares old Texans.

    Here's a good long interview with Reid on Fresh Air

    1. V572 T-Blow

      I spend some time in Italy, which has totally socialized medicine in the purest sense: doctors are government employees and work in government-owned facilities–sort of like we provide for the military. Yes, there are private clinics but even the wealthiest people use the government system.

      As you say, they wouldn't trade it for our system in a million years.

      1. valgal2342

        Well, I wouldn't want that to happen, I just want to get rid of my state's Jr. Senator. Maybe they could get trampled by elephants before starting any trouble.

  34. fuflans

    'africa'?? wtf dr paul???

    you are fucking representative in my fucking government and you refer to a continent of 54 nation states as if it was 'galveston'.

  35. glamourdammerung

    I find it odd that a guy that was published by Willis Carto (the same clown that pretty much started the Holocaust Denial fringe in the U.S.) seems to have issues with African society. Between that and Paul's frequent appearances on the White Citizens Council programs, one could suggest a pattern of behavior.

  36. SudsMcKenzie

    He's retiring after this. The family has already taken away his home with a pool. Let Crazy grandpa yell one last time!11

  37. mrblifil

    I'm sure the famines had nothing to do with complete and utter lack of birth control. Oh and since he loves the free market I guess he'll be down with establishing a private for-profit Abortion Industry, in answer to all the suffering and starvation and shit. He was an obstetrician after all.

  38. HobbesEvilTwin

    added Paul, it's those god-damned niggers own fault that they let Europeans colonize and exploit the shit out of 'em for centuries. See: capitalism good, poor colonized socialist scum bad.

  39. Negropolis

    Not sure if Ron has noticed, but "Africa" (you know, the whole country.) is basically where America was in the 1910's/1920's in terms of its economy, robber barons, shoddy regulations, and the whole deal. You know, the great socialist teens and twenties of the early 20th century. lol

  40. El Pinche

    Somalia => Dr. Paul's former campaign manager (RIP)

    Sick , uninsured, and eventually deceased , that's the ultimate destination when you go Galt.

    1. HistoriCat

      More like conjoined twins – even if you somehow set up a "libertarian" society, you're going to end up with anarchy or an actual form of government.

  41. subsum

    I want to ask Ron Paul to provide an example of a country that became prosperous–and remains so today–by following Ayn Rand's principles for societal dynamics? Just one country. Name one.

    Give me the name of one fucking country that became civilized and remains so today and lacks taxpayers, financial regulation, public education, a social safety net and a strong judiciary to enforce the rule of law.

    D'ya wanna know how many there are, Ronnie-boy? Zero. Not even Austria, the place Von Mises (Paul's object of late-night masturbation) came from, followed that insane bullshit he came up with!

    Oh, and while I'm at it, I got news for ya: Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead are works of (bad) fiction. The shit described in those books never fucking happened. Got that? Even Alan Greenspan realized all that shit was just plain old bullshit. Why can't ya?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      I want to ask Ron Paul to provide an example of a country that became prosperous–and remains so today–by following Ayn Rand's principles for societal dynamics? Just one country. Name one.

      Psshhh–As I know from having argued with Sophomore Marxists about "TRUE Communism" when I was in college (back in the 80's, don't you know, when we wore onions on our belts, 'cause that was the fashion in those days….), the only reason you can't find an example is because no pure enough version has ever been tried. The Sheeple are too afraid and timid to recognize the inherent brilliance of the ideal system, plus corrupt enemies with their dead hands on the levers of power won't let it happen. Here, take this pamphlet….

    2. LetUsBray

      On the Daily Show I guess about a year ago he cited the US in its first decades as close to the ideal: So, slavery and suffrage limited to white guys with property FTW!

  42. SorosBot

    And here, I thought Africa's big problem, as Bono, Paul McCarty and others taught me, was that they didn't know it was Christmastime at all.

    Either that, or that I hear the drums echoing tonight, But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation. She's coming in the 12:30 flight, The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation.

    I stopped an old man along the way, Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies; He turned to me as if to say,"Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you!"

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa; Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      It's gonna take a car to drag me away from you,
      There's nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do,
      I guess it rains down in Africa,
      I've led some raids down in Africa,
      I miss the grains down in Africa,
      I left my brains down in Africa….(fade out)

      (all stolen shamelessly from http://www.kissthisguy.com )

  43. HistoriCat

    All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you compare famine

    Those are both great ideas Ron. So shut the fuck up, study some history, and analyze some data. Once you've done all that what you have to say will be relevant. Until then, just keep masturbating to Ayn Rand while sitting on a stack of gold bars and silver coins and let the folks here on Planet Reality get on with things. OK?

  44. mausgeo

    No EPA =choking diesel fumes in downtown Anywhere in Africa. And no regulations mean slums built on gas pipelines. No problem

  45. Warpde

    Hey Ron.
    Why don't you be a good public servant and go over there to show those starving the capitalistic light?
    I'll give you a day before your head is on a stick.

  46. ShaveTheWhales

    Great. I've always know Ron Paul was a crackpot. Now I know he's a massively ignorant and irrational crackpot. Happily, this has not changed my life, because Ron Paul's chance of being elected POTUS is unchanged (zero doesn't change much).

    But, who are the people that keep electing him as their Congressman? Who are the enthusiasts that act like he's the second coming of — I don't really know — King Arthur? Is it just that they're all high? They must be really fucking high. I've never been within miles of being high enough to consider voting for Dr. Ron. Why won't they share, huh??

    So, (1) fuck Ron Paul, if that's necessary, and (2), now that I think of it, complete the following:

    Ron Paul is the Second Coming of _______________.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      There's a problem here, which I expect is common of all who espouse libertarian ideals… About 72% of what they say actually MAKES SENSE. Dr. Paul was on NPR several weeks ago and I found myself agreeing with much of his statements, particularly around our military excursions and the drug war. The problem is, they carry these ideals to the nth degree where they become batshit insane.

      I'd vote for Ron Paul if we could put some sort of ideas limiter on him.

  47. glamourdammerung

    Just keep in mind that at worst, Paul has shown himself to be a blatant racist. At best, he has shown himself to be too incompetent to run a newsletter.

    The fact he used to (not sure if he still does) claim a tax-exemption for his newsletter group as a "religious organization" was one of those things that I would wonder why someone got away with it if it was not for the behavior of the average Paultard.

    1. glamourdammerung

      And Somalia is not exactly an economic superpower in case you have not noticed. Though I noticed quite a few…peculiar remarks you made over at Big Bigotry.

      Tyrant 93p · 1 day ago
      London lost the Battle Of Britain, as there are hardly any British left in that city.

      Tyrant 93p · 2 days ago
      If they aren't looking more carefully at middle easterners then they aren't doing their job.

      4 days ago @ Big Government – DHS: No Return to Pre-… · 0 replies · +2 points

      No Muslims, no worries.
      If we have to racially profile them or place them in interment camps then so be it.

      4 days ago @ Big Government – Sunday Open Thread: 9/11 · 0 replies · +6 points

      I envisioned a ban on further Muslim immigration, and a mass migration out for those already here.

      What is it with Paultards and casual bigotry? Also, how exactly are internment camps logically coherent with "small government"?

      1. Tyrant

        Somalia is in a state of Anarchy and anarchy is very different from Liberty.

        Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry. The end result is violence, and no one wants that.

        1. glamourdammerung

          Somalia is in a state of Anarchy and anarchy is very different from Liberty.

          There is no overreaching government in Somalia. There is no functional government at all. Making up your own definitions for "anarchy" and "liberty" does not change that fact.

          Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry.

          Not only did you avoid my simple question about how own supporting concentration camps and small governments can be possibly be logically consistent, you used a nonsense argument to do so. According to your "logic", Jews in Germany decayed the nation from within and that the Nazi regime was their fault.

          Also, you still post a lot of bigoted nonsense.

          The end result is violence, and no one wants that.

          You obviously are full of it or do not read the stupidity you post.

          1. Tyrant

            A small Federal government is not the same as no government at all. There is also the State and local level. A Republic government too, not just 'government'

            I'm not a Paulite, I just happened to decide to support him a few months ago because I like many though not all of his major policies. I suppose many Paul supporters don't like every thing he is for, but at least he wont lie to you He's also the only one with the balls to actually end all these silly foreign wars.

            I don't pretend to know why the Holocaust happened, but that level of disregard for human life only occurs in ethnic conflicts.

          2. glamourdammerung

            A small Federal government is not the same as no government at all. There is also the State and local level. A Republic government too, not just 'government'

            None of which has anything to do with what Ron Paul stated in the clip. Again, if you have to make up your own definitions to back up your assertions, that should tell you how sound your logic is.

          3. Tyrant

            Nor did Ron Paul ever admire Somalia's current political situation.
            But how would you describe most African countries if not socialist? Most of them claim socialism, though I guess many of them are still divided politically on tribal lines.
            What they certainly lack is a free republic society.

          4. glamourdammerung

            Nor did Ron Paul ever admire Somalia's current political situation.

            While it is nice to see you have moved on from making up your own definitions to straw man arguments, you still seem to have forgotten to read what you are replying to.

            Is there an over-reaching government in Somalia? Since there is no functional government, there is about as free of a market as one is going to find. Is the country an economic success?

        2. Doktor Zoom

          "Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry."

          That's good–some variations:

          The presence of Jews fosters antisemitism.

          Without blacks around, there'd be no need for racism.

          If there weren't so many (fill in despised group here) there'd be no need to despise them.

          LOGIC: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

          1. Tyrant

            There is a difference between Jews that have a historical presence in Western Europe for around 1,900 years compared to new immigrant groups that may cause long term problems.

            But the cure for Africa's ill is a mass immigration of Western educated Blacks back to Africa. Humanitarian societies have made the mistake that visiting social workers can change Africa for the better. But what is needed is not visitors but permanent settlers and due to obvious racial differences associated with integration this can't be accomplished by non-African descended peoples.

          2. glamourdammerung

            But the cure for Africa's ill is a mass immigration of Western educated Blacks back to Africa. Humanitarian societies have made the mistake that visiting social workers can change Africa for the better. But what is needed is not visitors but permanent settlers and due to obvious racial differences associated with integration this can't be accomplished by non-African descended peoples.

            You know, it would be much shorter and more honest to just call it "The Final Solution to the Blacks, Muslims, and Everyone Else Tyrant Personally Dislikes Question".

          3. Doktor Zoom

            Oh, how nice! And then all the disruptive browns would go away from Amurka!

            As the Church Lady would say, How con-VEEEE-nient!

            I'd be willing to bet that very few people in your everyday life recognize your inner brilliance, do they? Darn sheeple….

            EDIT: He's not a racist. He accepts Jews as pretty much white. What a progressive thinkier!

          4. Negropolis

            And, why don't you go back to fucking Europe and release them from the bondage of socialism. I mean, us African Americans can't do it, because we wouldn't be trusted among the white people.

            Really, just STFU, already. You really need to be banned.

          5. mumbly_joe

            The existence of the Spanish language disputes the newness of an Arab presence in Western Europe.

            I mean, for crissakes, the title of the very first vernacular novel was a Spanish-Arabic pun.

  48. worrierqueen

    "Somalia is ruled under a system called “anarchy,” one where there is no actual cohesive federal government or institutions or regulations or security, which is technically speaking the freest market system of them all."

    Does this mean RonPaul is already King of the Horn?

  49. smokefilleddoommate

    I know!! Plumpy'nut Plan™ cards for all African children with kwashiorkor or marasmus. Can't lift your tiny malnourished arm to present your Plan card? Then no life-sustaining nutrients! Very simple. No card, no coverage. We'll even verify coverage if you do have a card, you three-year-old darkie famine freeloader. Get a taste of capitalism!

    (Cue montage of heartbreakingly suffering African children with gentle BASF-style voiceover stating how some behemoth pharma is "giving" and "compassionate", etc; i.e., "We don't make Africans. We make the starving Africans for your marketing campaign better.)

  50. zhubajie

    If Paultards really get their way, the sorts of diseases that lay waste to the most undeveloped countries will make big come backs in the US, esp. the South. Goodbye public health, welcome back malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, cholera, typhus, typhoid, etc.!

  51. JustPixelz

    These guys play fast and loose with what may be considered socialism. But China is unquestionably socialist* and runs a booming, highly successful economy in part by embracing the principles the TP'ers espouse: little environmental regulation, low wages (probably no minimum wage), etc.
    _______________________________
    * one-third of U.S. GDP is public sector; same as China, though in different segments

  52. Mahousu

    I think what Ron Paul meant was not that socialism causes famines, but that, somehow, socialism makes you feel like you're starving. I know that when I was in Norway, people had trouble dragging me away from the koldtbord. I didn't really need another helping of dilled shrimp, but the socialism drove me to it.

  53. Terry

    Ron Paul is not only an amoral fool but a potentially dangerous one if he were even given significant power.

  54. alzronnie

    Sure, the famine is due to the socialism, mostly, but also because of the public employees and their fat pensions.

  55. Terry

    Ron Paul wants to talk historical famines, huh? How about the frickin Irish potato famine? Yeah, it was because they were all commie socialists, for sure. Dirt poor peasants living off a single crop, the only thing that grows in good quantities on tiny pieces of marginal land. Ship most of the food out of the country to pay the absentee landlords (capitalism! free markets!). Hit the place with a fast blight that destroys the one damn thing the peasants can grow for themselves. Charities and individuals did try to help, step in because the government couldn't (Ireland) or wouldn't (England). Some people and charities worked the best they could. Others offered food, but only if Catholics would convert. "Take the soup" meant change your core values out of desperation. What did other people do, including many of those absentee landlords? Instead of helping, they clucked their tongues, how sad this all is, and saw the "truth" in political cartoons that portrayed the Irish as subhuman. It's easier to let a half-ape starve over there than to live by the supposed Christian values you espouse. So, basically, f#$k you, Ron Paul.

  56. genxr

    The answer is obvious. Africa needs to lower taxes and stop government regulation. Then they'll be prosperous and happy, like Scandinavia.

  57. itsjesuscriss

    Our Father who are in heaven,
    Hollowed be thy name,
    Your kingdom come,
    your will be done,
    In Amurka as well as Somalia.
    Give us this day our daily bread,
    and starve the Socialists and withhold the rain,
    Lead us not into Obamacare,
    But deliver us from taxes.
    Amen and Gold is god.

  58. Chet Kincaid

    Since we have nothing to talk about but this asshole this morning, I would like someone to find the enlightened, libertarian respect for individual rights in his position on abortion. Why is it that a human being's right to life, liberty and happiness is subsumed by that of some other pre-human life-form resident in her body? How does it fit with libertarian principles to mandate that someone support someone else for 9 months at the expense of their own life, liberty and happiness?

    And for those nodding along with his isolationism on the radio, can you really support 72% of these positions:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_positions_

    1. poncho_pilot

      first you have to find one who is actually as familiar with the Bible as they'd like you to believe they are.

  59. ttommyunger

    Ron Paul, the Cloaca of American Politicians: simultaneously the source of drek and hope for the future.

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