KARL MARX RUINED AFRICA  7:02 pm September 15, 2011

Ron Paul: Africa’s Famines Will End When They Quit Being So Socialist

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Ron Paul! He knows what’s wrong with Africa. All the famines, the people dying over there that you may have heard about in the news lately? It’s because Africa is socialist. The whole place! RON PAUL, on Africa: ”All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you compare famine, the countries that are more socialistic have more famines. If you look at Africa, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have famines and no medical care.” Elect Ron Paul President of Africa!

We’ll go out on a limb and assume the good doctor is referring to something he half heard about “Somalia,” one of those towns in Africa, and all of the deeply awful famines occurring across the “Horn of Africa,” the county where Somalia is located. Somalia is not actually socialist, though, Ron Paul! Somalia is ruled under a system called “anarchy,” one where there is no actual cohesive federal government or institutions or regulations or security, which is technically speaking the freest market system of them all. That’s weird! Has Somalia realized they aren’t following Ron Paul’s rules? [Crooks and Liars]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 351 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] September 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Plus, ya know, black…

snoopyfan2010 September 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Plus, ya know, imperialism….

horsedreamer_1 September 16, 2011 at 9:23 am

I remember, after the Afrikaaners ceded control to the black-majority, there was much ado over RSA leaving the Commonwealth of Nations (may not have have happened…) & how that imperilled the nation's well-being. The Queen rules by divine right, & by rejecting her, Mandela was rejecting God, &, well, He would not smile on South Africa, anymore.

snoopyfan2010 September 16, 2011 at 4:11 pm

And this is the same Commonwealth that was not able to get Great Britain to place sanctions on South Africa to stop apartheid? I don't understand why they would leave that group?

sj660 September 15, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Socialist=black to these people.

mumbly_joe September 16, 2011 at 7:52 am

The Africans have all those famines because of how Urban Africa is, natch.

OC_Surf_Serf September 15, 2011 at 7:05 pm

if you compare good medical care and you compare famine

Wait…Canadians are starving?

Tundra Grifter September 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Along with the good people in Switzerland, Finland, Denmark, Norway and Sweden, of course.

the_problem_child September 15, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Not hardly. But we won't have good medical care for much longer if the terminally obese keep sucking up resources.

Gurkman September 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Chileans are doing alright though. No idea why the entire city of Santiago is protesting against their capitalist utopia.

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Have you seen those Europeans? All thin and svelte, so they are obviously starving.

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Plus, they get to enjoy a good smoke without lung cancer. Not fair.

PuckStopsHere September 16, 2011 at 12:31 am

No fuckin way: "You went to Donut World without me? I told you to wake me up if you went!"

bflrtsplk September 16, 2011 at 5:44 am

He's got a point. I live "up north" and I recently lost 20 pounds after my socialist doctor told me to lose weight or greatly increase my risk of having a heart attack. Why I haven't had a decent meal in … 10 minutes.

glamourdammerung September 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

According to Paul, Somalia must be one of the world's strongest economies. Of course, this merely once again demonstrates how firmly rooted in reality Papa Doc Paul is.

iburl September 15, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Sadly, he is actually more grounded in reality than almost all of his GOP opponents. In other words, Ron Paul is dead right on maybe 20% of stuff. For the others it's more like 3%-ish.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Sadly, when Grandpa Ron is off — unlike some of the others who are obviously just playing a character and pandering — he is way-the-fuck off.

glamourdammerung September 15, 2011 at 10:26 pm

You mean like how building a Holocaust museum was just like the Holocaust?

LetUsBray September 15, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Hey, they both have "Holocaust" right in the name, don't they? It's just like how Nazi is short for National Socialism, and that proves libruls are Nazis.

PuckStopsHere September 16, 2011 at 12:32 am

As in: "Juuuust a little outside."

iburl September 16, 2011 at 12:59 am

True, however, that actually makes him less of a threat. People like Mitt and Goodhair, who try to pass for normals, can actually win.

Gratuitous World September 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Somalia is what happens when you go galt.

JustPixelz September 15, 2011 at 7:22 pm

To be fair, you must go "full galt" (pirates, warlords, Imam) to reach that utopian paradise.

edgydrifter September 15, 2011 at 7:30 pm

A Rand-ish friend of mine took great exception to this very thing when I mentioned it to him the other day. He started screaming at me that Somalia was a bullshit, invalid example. Not surprisingly, he was entirely unable of explaining why it was a bullshit, invalid example.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Because there is not a strong central government to control the anarchy of going Galt…,

Oops, tricked myself.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 15, 2011 at 7:55 pm

One man's anarchy is another's libertarianism.

Dashboard_Jesus September 15, 2011 at 11:31 pm

PERFECT, exactly what I was going to say…but it seems more appropriate coming from you Ayn Randytard!

user-of-owls September 15, 2011 at 11:32 pm

One man's libertarianism is another's Lord of the Flies.

emmelemm September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

This question is part snark, part serious, but not meant to offend:

Why would you be friends with someone who would scream at you about Somalia, FFS?

edgydrifter September 15, 2011 at 7:55 pm

We've been friends a loooong time. He's always been really earnest about whatever he's into; this is just the most recent thing. I call it his Galt-curious phase. He'll probably be yelling at me about my unapologetic meat eating a month from now. His great passions are all fleeting and Not To Be Taken Seriously.

emmelemm September 15, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I hear ya. I have some similar friends.

Also, "Galt-curious" is awesome.

Doktor Zoom September 15, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Your friend doesn't perhaps steal orchids, does he?

CZL September 15, 2011 at 8:22 pm

If pressed, libertarians will ALWAYS remark that the reason Scandinavia is so socialist and successful is because they are "ethnically homogenous" (yes, I'm sure the Finns will LOOOVE to hear that!) whereas in Africa they have "tribal hierarchies and divisions."

What it boils down to is that in his neckbearded heart, every libertarian believes white people can, in the absence of government, govern themselves, whereas browns, blacks, yellows and other "races" must needs have a strong white hand governing them.

LetUsBray September 15, 2011 at 11:10 pm

The funny thing is, Canada is about as ethnically homogenous as the US, isn't it? And yet, as socialistic as Canada is, they've still managed to keep the whole famine thing reasonably under control.

Chichikovovich September 15, 2011 at 11:15 pm

By some yardsticks Canada would count as *less* ethnically homogeneous, what with the two official languages, and quite distinct anglophone and francophone cultures. So I guess AK-47 battles will be breaking out in the streets any day now.

CZL September 16, 2011 at 12:32 am

Yes. Diverse ethnic makeup means chaos only in demented right wing fantasies. It's why fascism exists.

horsedreamer_1 September 16, 2011 at 9:44 am

You mean to say, the Randian Utopia is in East Africa? In that case, I think we have found Galt's Gulch even before we will have found the Garden of Eden. Galt's Gulch is… the Olduvai Gorge.

LesBontemps September 16, 2011 at 10:26 am

Well, if you're looking for fossilized hominids, the Ayn Rand Book Club and Olduvai Gorge are probably your best bets.

Tundra Grifter September 15, 2011 at 7:08 pm

When I want to know more about Africa, the first expert I look for is an old retired white guy.

emmelemm September 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Who's probably never BEEN to Africa, once. Or met anyone from Africa who wasn't driving him in a cab or serving/selling him food somewhere. Or cleaning his office.

LettucePrey September 15, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Or is even aware that Africa isn't a country.

LetUsBray September 15, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Hey, I'll have you know that Dr. Paul is the go-to expert on Africa among racists living in their moms' basements who love their weed.

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 6:57 am

Someone with a history of palling around with White Supremacists….

Tundra Grifter September 16, 2011 at 9:38 am

Sean Hannity?

OC_Surf_Serf September 15, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Paultards would say,without irony: "Let the market decide what happens to Africans…"

OneYieldRegular September 15, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I want that entire comment on a bumper sticker.

Chet Kincaid September 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Too good.

WunkRocker September 16, 2011 at 9:18 am

Last time we did that the market decided we should just sell them Africans to crackers in the US of Americas. Why don't these Randtards apply this "markety sense" to gay marriage?

Mort_Sinclair September 15, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Fifty percent of all physicians graduated in the bottom half of their class. And Duke University gave this anencephalic loon a medical degree.

the_problem_child September 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

What do you call the med student who graduated last in his class?

Doctor.

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Dr. Paul? Ron and Rand.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:21 pm

I'd never heard that joke, but it will be one of my new favorites to use on smug physicians.

Radiotherapy® September 16, 2011 at 12:06 am

True story: The dumbest person in a medical school class was instructed to do a TB skin test on a patient. Typically, 0.1 ml is injected subcutaneously into the forearm. But said student asked the resident (junior smug physician?), "where should I inject it." Resident answers flippantly, "on the scrotum!"
Oh yes she did.
See, you can learn from stupid people. I learned that if you are going to be flippant, be very careful.
And, whilst I despise pompous physicians, in general, lawyers still are fodder for more jokes.

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 7:16 pm

You know what you call the stupidest person in your medical school class?

Mort_Sinclair September 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Doctor?

LettucePrey September 15, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Yale University once gave George W. Bush a diploma, too. True story.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Silly me for not remembering that Yale has a driving school…

Radiotherapy® September 16, 2011 at 12:48 am

You mean like this?

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:16 am

FUCK, thanks for reminding me what a total douchebag/ moron Bush is…those 18 seconds sum up the asshole's entire 8 fucking years!

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 1:47 am

And, yet, it's Obama who is disrespectful of our military. I shouldn't have clicked on that link; now, I'm mad again.

littlebigdaddy September 15, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Duke also gave Nixon his law degree. Coincidence?

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 3:14 am

So Duke caters to the intelligent sociopaths as well as the stupid ones?

horsedreamer_1 September 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

Have you seen the Cameron Crazies? Ever heard Krzyzewski go full Teatard?

I'd say, yes, sociopaths are Durham's stock in trade.

LettucePrey September 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Duke also gave a law degree to Tucker Max, the biggest asshole in the non-political world, so yes. Yes, they do.

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 6:58 am

Did he found his own medical board like his son did for ophthalmology?

GuanoFaucet September 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Let them eat gold!

flamingpdog September 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm

With Pat Robertson whore diamonds for dessert.

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:06 am

That's one way to get rid of Newt. He'll will be over there picking through shit in a NYC second, at least until he finds enough precious metal to replace Miss Botox.

OneYieldRegular September 15, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I'll never forget the famine I once experienced in socialist France when my local boucherie ran out of foie gras.

Crank_Tango September 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

n'oublions jamais !

elfgoldsackring September 15, 2011 at 7:32 pm

You should have eaten cake.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I believe half of France starved in 1991, which was a terrible year for wines.

Barrelhse September 15, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Look, if they're that hungry why don't they just eat?

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:19 am

thanks for making me spew perfectly good (cheap) wine out my nose

ArmoredLibunatic September 15, 2011 at 7:13 pm

There is nothing to say about this. Unless you count one of my patented pained sighs.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:21 am

you patented that? fuck, now do I owe you a royalty every goddam time I watch the Teatard clips presented here, for my amusement?

ArmoredLibunatic September 16, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Pssshaa, with the way patent laws "work" these days, I could sue you for infringement of patents on sighs that haven't even entered commercial production. Free market, bitchezzz!

Dashboard_Jesus September 17, 2011 at 1:49 am

how about groans, you got any patents pending on those yet, cuz I use a lot of 'em (usually followed by the sighs, they seem to go well together)

hollywooddood September 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

For me to vote for Ron Paul, I'd have to really, really like the VP.

flamingpdog September 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm

So who would make a good VP for Preznit Paul?

GunToting[Redacted] September 15, 2011 at 7:42 pm

The redhead baby vamp from "True Blood," but she would be required to appear every day on TV for at least 2 hours wearing lingerie (briefly).

iburl September 15, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Gadhafi? Drunken Uncle Omar?

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:25 pm

For me to vote for Ron Paul, someone would have to commit voter fraud by voting in my stead.

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Like him, or hate him, Francis Fukuyama, in The Origins of Political Order, destroys the Paultards in a few sentences:

Many parts of sub-Saharan Africa are a libertarian's paradise. The region as a whole is a low-tax utopia….Rather than unleashing entrepreneurship, this low rate of taxation means that basic public services like health, education, and pothole filling are starved of funding. The physical infrastructure on which a modern economy rests like roads, courts and the police are missing….people are free to protect their own families, and indeed they are forced to.

BlueStateLibel September 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

But I only want to pay for the roads that I drive ON! Why should I pay for roads that other people drive on?!

Come here a minute September 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Oh there you go again with your experts! What a bunch of elitist claptrap. When I want to find out about Africa, I don't ask the experts, I just listen to whatever half-formed thought wandered from Ron Paul's brain to Ron Paul's mouth, thank you very much.

sj660 September 15, 2011 at 8:07 pm

I didn't like Fuku in the past, but that was a good book.

mumbly_joe September 15, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Fun fact: Of sub-Saharan Africa Botswana actually is a socialism success story, in a lot of ways: one of the first things they did was part-nationalize their considerable diamond industry (50% of diamonds, by value, come from Botswana), which means a) no diamond conflicts, and b) tremendous government revenue, which they invested in things like public schools and public health programs- you know, all those things the people of Botswana didn't have when the area was occupied by a foreign power, and things the people of Botswana thought they might like to make sure they gave themselves, now that they could self-determine.

And thus, Botswana is currently one of the wealthiest, most stable democracies in Africa. Hit pretty hard by the HIV pandemic, but it also has the aforementioned public health apparatus to actually have a chance at fighting back.

Ron Paul is pretty sure that Botswana would be better off if they had just let DeBeers completely loot the country, instead, like what happened throughout the rest of Africa.

user-of-owls September 15, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Silly Joe. How could a country named Botswana exist in Africa?

Seriously, you're absolutely right…they are doing good in that place. And you know what else? Uganda…fucking Last King of Scotland Uganda…is also doing some good.

"Uganda has been among the rare HIV success stories, one of the reasons being openness.In the 1980s, more than 30% of Ugandan residents had HIV; this had fallen to 6.4% by the end of 2008, the most effective national response to AIDS of any African country."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uganda#Health

Radiotherapy® September 16, 2011 at 12:43 am

I learn so much at the Wonkettes.
And the DeBeers monopoly is a fantastic point. One of the forgotten tenets of our sociocapitalistic hybrid system is the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. Over a century ago they realized unfettered capitalism is dangerous. Just as Marxism (as a conceptual framework) is not practical. Fucktards such as Paul, or even more importantly, Innanity or Russ Limbo, have such a simplistic, one sided view of an incredibly complex civilization. Free market crap. Socialism is bad. For simpletons.
We really need to change our paradigms and terminology.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:31 am

"We really need to change our paradigms and terminology" I usually have an immediate guttural response upon hearing the term 'change our paradigms' but in this context I agree wholeheartedly

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 1:55 am

Hey, just so long as we don't start talking synergy and thinking outside of the box, the other stuff doesn't bother me.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 3:12 am

The part I always found sickly amusing about Libertarians and communists is that not only does neither system work due to human nature, they both use the same lame excuses to avoid admitting that their ideal state is simply not viable.

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 7:01 am

Libtards and Commies are mirror images of each other.

HistoriCat September 16, 2011 at 7:21 am

Faith based economics in action.

An_Outhouse September 16, 2011 at 10:21 am

Francis is a girl's name and Fukuyama sounds like a nuclear reactor accident. Next time quote a real murkin.

mavenmaven September 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm

In other words: you know, like Obama, bringing African famines with him to the US.

WhatTheHeck September 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm

There are baboons in Africa and then there are baboons of the Tea Party. The latter group seems not to have evolved much.

LowProfileinGA September 15, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Baboon libel. (Someone had to say it.)

anniegetyerfun September 15, 2011 at 7:38 pm

So much red ass, everywhere.

OneYieldRegular September 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

This is surely why the World Health Organization ranks the health care in that capitalist hotspot known as Cuba as among the best in the world, and superior to that in that in the U.S.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 15, 2011 at 7:57 pm

So, technically what he's saying isn't true, but you gotta admit it makes a good sound byte!

HistoriCat September 15, 2011 at 9:47 pm

World Health Organization is part of the UN and they have their own agenda!

Slim_Pickins September 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

And here I thought Somalia was the most advanced LIBERTARIAN country in the world, because you can do anything you want there and nobody cares…

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Needz more invisible hand of the market conducting gyno exams!

anniegetyerfun September 15, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Invisible pap smears are so much less invasive.

Come here a minute September 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Oh, now I get it, he's a performance artist demonstrating the absurdity of the ideas he professes to support. Since most people haven't caught on yet, he's decided to take it to another level.

flamingpdog September 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm

I just wish if he were going to be a performance artist that he'd go the mime route.

littlebigdaddy September 15, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Ah…he's doing a Coulter, but without the gender-bending.

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:18 am

Sort of a Woody Allen meets Stephen Colbert, but without the humor?

not that Dewey September 15, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Biel_ze_Bubba September 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

The free market will cure it.

Guppy06 September 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm

I'm going to invest in the cholera bed industry!

mumbly_joe September 15, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I love the reply to the comments in the description:

"It's anarchism, not libertarianism, sure, but the only real difference between the two is a bachelor's degree"

user-of-owls September 15, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Ah, shit. I was hoping for dysentery. Hell, I'd even have settled for a bit of dengue. But cholera? It's so mundane these days, I mean it's practically rickets for crying out loud.

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 12:01 am

But it's just so darned cute, I mean, how can you resist? Antibody would tell you, it's all the rage.

Doktor Zoom September 16, 2011 at 1:31 am

Not all the phage?

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 1:38 am

DAMMIT!

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 10:11 am

As you know, you go to Wonket with the pun you have, not the pun you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:37 am

awww, it really IS cute and cuddly ( I just ordered a case of 'em, for Xmas!)

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 1:42 am

Be sure to check out their line of venereals. Chlamydia will totally melt your heart. I buy a set of the "Health" ones for anyone who has a yungun — kids love to cuddle with a plush representation of their disease while they're sick. A cute, fuzzy talisman, of sorts.

SexySmurf September 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

If you look at Africa, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have famines and no medical care.

When did Africa become Ron Paul's campaign manager?

anniegetyerfun September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

How on Earth did he construct that sentence, say it out loud, and then continue on as if it had any meaning. That's a downright Bachmann-esque sentence.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm

If you look at the moon, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have a terrible drought, and there's no air, and it's cold all the time.

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

You think Ayn Rand would send pennies a day to help some poor African kid get a mosquito net and clean water? Hell no! She would tell that kid to figure out a way to collect all those swarming mosquitoes and sell them on the free market.

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Delicious, btw.

BlueStateLibel September 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Weren't these libertarian wack jobs supposed to be building some flimsy island out in the Pacific? What's the goddamn holdup?

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm

they're still waiting for one of their genius producers to discover the secret of Looser Building Codes. it's kind of like playing Civilization.

V572 T-Blow September 15, 2011 at 7:38 pm

The $4 million non-refundable deposit to be wired to an account in Zurich, probably.

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Koch Water World.

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 7:03 am

I believe the Tongan Army kicked them out.

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 8:55 am

Even international waters are too bureaucratic and authoritarian for them. They're going to wait and set up shop inside the next black hole that the LHC creates.

prommie September 16, 2011 at 10:17 am

I'm assuming we are free to attack, conquer, and pillage said island, after they build it? Surely they would never beg protection from some "government."

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:20 am

There seems to be some irregularities with the federally backed small business loan they applied for.

MarcelleMarceau September 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I suppose Somalia's pirates should be hailed as entrepreneurs exploiting Somalia's lassez-faire market conditions.

Callyson September 15, 2011 at 7:32 pm

For a taste of reality…
Agriculture in Africa is susceptible to climatic fluctuations, especially droughts which can reduce the amount of food produced locally. Other agricultural problems include soil infertility, land degradation and erosion, swarms of desert locusts, which can destroy whole crops, and livestock diseases. The Sahara reportedly spreads at a rate of up to 30 miles a year. The most serious famines have been caused by a combination of drought, misguided economic policies, and conflict. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famine#Famine_in_Afr
Oh, but I'm sure that Africa would not have these environmental issues if it would just stop practicing that socialist crap and open up the free market…

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Sounds like a round of tax cuts and ending OSHA rules would help.

littlebigdaddy September 15, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I used to teach a class on this a long time ago. There is also the unintended consequences of Western food aid, especially USAID, which has driven farmers out of business, because cheap can't compete with free. And of course in places like Zimbabwe you have kleptocratic dictators making conditions impossible for farmers. Add to this the corrupting effects of oil money, and you do indeed have an economic system out of whack, but certainly not because it is "socialist." I think Dr. Paul must have given himself the HPV.

imissopus September 15, 2011 at 11:24 pm

No, he's naturally that fucking stupid.

chascates September 15, 2011 at 7:33 pm

And all this time I though God was punishing Africans for not being Christian.

Guppy06 September 15, 2011 at 11:16 pm

Haven't you heard? "Christianity" and "anarcho-capitalism" are the same thing!

subsum September 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm

That's for not being white, actually.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 15, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Fucking Texas.

I vote we rename them "Assholevania", and make them a territory with no Senators or Congresspeople (that can vote).

Why should they have more political power than D.C., when they've proven over and over that they can't be trusted with it?
~

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

can't we just boot them out? give them freedonia or something?

elviouslyqueer September 15, 2011 at 8:55 pm

I hear Atlantis is lovely this time of year.

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm

hey, guys! no one–no one–is as compassionate as Ron Paul. no one. just ask Ron Paul.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 15, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Ron Paul: I have a great relationship with the starving Somalians.

// This comment intended to be more horrible than funny

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 8:10 pm

those are tough to balance. you have to laugh at the horrible sometimes to stay sane.

SorosBot September 15, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Or just ask his 2008 campaign manager! Oh wait, no you can't, because he's dead, because Ron Paul didn't give him health insurance.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 1:45 am

ever since I learned (yesterday) of this disturbing 'fact' about RP's dead campaign manager I lost ALL respect I ever had for the man (OK I didn't really have ANY respect for him before, but now I REALLY hate him!)

JustPixelz September 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm

The story of Joseph in the bible describes a seven year famine in Egypt. Egypt had a pharaoh and slaves and was not socialist. Joseph foresaw the coming famine and convinced the Pharaoh to stockpile food. When the crops failed, the Egyptians did not starve. Thanks to Joseph's socialist plan to collect then share food from the bountiful years.

Bible libel, Mr Paul. Bible libel.

snoopyfan2010 September 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

"All that believed were together, and had all things in common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.
(Acts 2:44-45)

Oops! Where did that come from???

emmelemm September 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Wow! That's a good one.

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 8:08 pm

this one always made me laugh:

14 In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. 15 And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. 16 And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”

John 2:14-16

Doktor Zoom September 15, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Look, that don't mean Jesus don't want people to git rich. It just means he thinks zoning laws should be strictly enforced.

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 8:50 am

Or maybe he's just allergic to pigeons.

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm

libertarian: but…but…but Jesus initiated f-f-f-force! (libertarian spontaneously orgasms at the thought of being whipped by Jesus.)

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 11:13 am

well yeah, but that was BEFORE my 'conversion' to free market principles and it's been sell, sell, sell ever since (oh, and Jesus saves, but Moses invests!!) http://www.addictinginfo.org/2011/01/10/republica

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

"there's only one way to get ahead in sales and that's 40 Days and 40 nights of the best deals this side of the Jordan River! My prices are insane! And so am I!" –John The Baptist

JustPixelz September 18, 2011 at 11:11 am

Apparently Jesus thought the temple market should be regulated.

Anyway, the lost Gospels then go on to describe how the job creators moved south to Egyptixo for cheap labor (slaves).

poncho_pilot September 18, 2011 at 3:50 pm

is this from the Gnostic Gospel of Ludwig von Mises?

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Anyone remember what happened to the couple in the early Christian commune that didn't fully participate and tried to hide their wealth? Yeah, God actually killed them; they actually dropped dead the second they lied.

The early Christian church was an actual, honest-to-god commune. It's something you don't ever heaer about.

ShaveTheWhales September 16, 2011 at 2:45 am

Fucken hippies.

HistoriCat September 16, 2011 at 7:28 am

Conservative Bible or GTFO.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 15, 2011 at 7:52 pm

In the Libertarian Bible, Joseph corners the market on wheat and makes a killing.

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 8:11 pm

he sides with the crowd against the tax collector, also too.

imissopus September 15, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Beeks must have gotten him that stolen copy of the crop report…

RedneckMuslin September 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Wait! I thought Kenyans were commie nazis.

flamingpdog September 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Will Pat Robertson approve if the US just divorces Ron Paul?

AlterNewt September 15, 2011 at 7:52 pm

He seems to meet the criteria.

JackObin September 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm

But it's A-O.K. to be a conservative asshole from Texas. I'd rather be starving in Africa, frankly.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 3:16 pm

agreed, sometimes it's just a matter of perspective

V572 T-Blow September 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Ron's not making it easy to like him for his anti-war stance.

Guppy06 September 15, 2011 at 11:17 pm

It's not so much that he's anti-war but that he wants to privat(eer)ize it.

LettucePrey September 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm

ANY statement beginning with ”All I know is…" is bound to be a bag full of horsehit.

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

all i know is…there were rumors he was in to field hockey players…

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Should begin, onliest thing I know. . .

AlterNewt September 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Kissin' cousin to " Like my grandpappy use t'say…"

anniegetyerfun September 15, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Um, I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but ARE there any socialist countries in Africa? I can't think of one, but then, I keep thinking that Mali is next to Singapore.

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 8:08 pm

i think your mistake is confusing 'socialism' with 'teabagger socialism' which translates (roughly) as: 'anything i don't really like and don't understand but someone smarter and more cynical than me has told me is bad and to the left'.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I thought that was 'back and to the right'?

the_problem_child September 15, 2011 at 8:10 pm

There used to be a bunch of nominally socialist countries, for the USSR aid. But I can't think of any that are still.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Zimbabwe is pretty steeped in (crony) socialism, but, by and large, the socialism that was a very real ruling ideology in most African nation's after their independence in the 60's is now gone.

These nation's were really ever "socialist" in the sense that they opposed the West for their colonialism. It was always more of an ideology in opposition to something else than it was a fully developed economic plan.

comrad_darkness September 16, 2011 at 12:10 am

Is Zimbabwe more crony socialist than the U.S.?

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 1:42 am

Well, they do have a nationalized railroad and power company, and they fuck around with agriculture ("land reform") even more than the United States, so, yeah.

Mugabe is single-handedly one of the worst people in the world. I mean, he really, really is. And, to think, he actually could have been one of the good guys. You compare the route he took as opposed to the route Mandela took to the south and it makes you angry and sad.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 3:29 pm

yep pretty much fucked up the whole country for a generation…very sad indeed

Guppy06 September 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm

"Socialist" in the DPRK sense, really.

mausgeo September 15, 2011 at 7:42 pm

And no EPA means choking on diesel fumes in downtown anywhere Africa. And no regulations give you slums built on top of gaslines.

Schmannnity September 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Red F-ing Cross, of course.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

If only most of Africa had been under the control of Europeans for the last 200 years, surely they would appreciate the wonders of Capitalism.

comrad_darkness September 16, 2011 at 12:09 am

And state religion.

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Isn't Texas currently in a horrible drought? I never thought of the Lone Star State as socialist, but I guess I was wrong!

JustPixelz September 16, 2011 at 7:16 am

"…One Star State…"

-fixed

AlterNewt September 15, 2011 at 7:47 pm

You know a lot of stuff, Ron Paul.

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

It's right there in the Constitution — which you libruls wrote but don't bother to read any more, America is an unfettered Capitalistic nation. All that stuff about military-socialism complex and promoting the general welfare? Merely metaphor.

JustPixelz September 16, 2011 at 7:21 am

The TP'ers believe in the perfection of ancestors. They're practically Confucian about it. The Constitution was perfect until we fucked it up starting with the 13th Amendment. The Bible is perfect and provides all the lessons we need. I'm waiting for them to also call for a return to biblical medicine (health care reform!) and one Representative for every 30,000 citizens.

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 8:24 am

You know, if you really to dig into their minds, I mean really dig into them, you'd find that they think the Bible was perfect up until Jesus actually opened up his mouth and said stuff. You know, forget about all that unambiguous shit about "turning the other cheek" and it being harder for a rich man to get into heaven than a camel (or whatever you Bible scholars) through the eye of a needle and telling the rich man to just plain, cold give up all his wealth, or calling people that make public displays of prayer hypocrites or hanging out with societal rejects, or all that "blessed are the poor" bullshit, or the early church being a commune etc…

No, there's a Clint Eastwood Jesus, a man of few words who kicks ass and takes names later. He's a Jesus who'll shoot you right in the face, Dick Cheney style.

BarackMyWorld September 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Yes, lacking context of history and post hoc reasoning, socialism being the cause of the lack of quality medical care is one possible reason. Buuuutttttt…having their continent stripped of its natural resources resulting in a low standard of living is another.

*sigh*

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Does anyone still want to say that this guy is a little kooky, but he's got some good ideas? He's one dead brain cell away from sticking a fork in a toaster.

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:57 pm

The ONLY positive of this guy is he holds on to his convictions for dear life:

Person sick with no medical insurance – die
Continent struggling with environmental and economic catastrophes – die

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:54 pm

You know who else held on to his convinctions for dear life?

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 11:21 pm
JustPixelz September 16, 2011 at 7:25 am

Nelson Mandela?

mayor_quimby September 16, 2011 at 10:10 am

I like where you took that, bravo!

horsedreamer_1 September 16, 2011 at 9:59 am

Theodore Kaczynski?

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:27 am

Rick Perry until he killed them? Oh, wait… I thought it said "convicts"….

Never mind.

Rarian Rakista September 16, 2011 at 2:14 am

Libertarians just want to watch the world burn.

Radiotherapy® September 15, 2011 at 8:11 pm

It's Doctor sticking a fork in a toaster to you.

Come here a minute September 15, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Sometimes sticking a fork in a toaster is the best way to get the toast out. FREE MARKET!

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 7:07 am

He's slightly better than the other Reps but that like saying syphilis is better than AIDS. :-(

randomsausage September 15, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Seriously Libertariantards, this is the face of your movement? The man has the charm and gravitas of a 3lb turd. Which is exactly what his old-man colon squeezes out once a week. Like clockwork. Friday AM, 9-11.

MissTaken September 15, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Remember kiddies, this is how you put LOVE in rEVOLution!

littlebigdaddy September 15, 2011 at 10:51 pm

I would frankly pay more attention to his pronouncements if they were all accompanied by the rolling out of a blimp, especially if it exploded.

Goonemeritus September 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Subscribers to pure forms of any dogma really chap my ass. I always think they will get to live in their version of the world for some period of time and they will learn how foolish they are. This never happens I am old enough to have seen more than one commune break up over stupid shit. This happens on both ends of the political spectrum yet most “members” blame everything and anything but their philosophy. Think of that end of times preacher a few months ago, he was right he must of just dropped a decimal.

ProudLibunatic September 15, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Still, I can't wait for them to build their unregulated paradise in the sea.

Goonemeritus September 15, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Fuck yes if they ever do and I doubt they will I will cancel cable and spend all my free time watching that. My favorite part is his pet peeve is zoning laws. Nothing says entertainment like free form naval architecture.

emmelemm September 15, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Nothing says safety like giving your "precarious platform on the open ocean" construction contract to the lowest bidder, who's out to make his own greatest profit. Free market FUCK YEAH!

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 7:08 am

Yes, then give Somali or Philippine pirates the co-ordinates.

Redhead September 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

But Somalia sounds a lot like a Paultard paradise, with no taxes, no nanny state, no welfare queens stealin mah paycheck, no furriners stealing mah jerb, no government regulations, no over zealous police force…

And there's famine there? And anarchy? And misery and death? You don't say!

JustPixelz September 16, 2011 at 7:26 am

Don't forget the pirates! ARRRGGGHHHH.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 7:36 am

And the environmental issues.

And the frequent outbreaks of rabies.

sj660 September 15, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I didn't know there was a city in Texas called Somalia. Huh. Somalia, TX, Rick Perry, Gov.

antispandex September 15, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Oh, yeah, sure…let's say that the free market was able to decide. That would mean that only the rich people would get food, and then the poor would die off and the rich would have more because they wouldn't have to share with the dirty non-producers…..Ok, sure that makes sense. If you are a Nazi and all. Of course, then there would be no one to do the grunt work, and you would have to create more poor folk to keep the rich, well, rich…I'm getting pretty frickin' confused, Ron.

subsum September 15, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Actually, the poor don't just bend over and take it in the ass. They move against the rich. It's called revolution.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm

"only the rich people would get food, and then the poor would die off and the rich would have more because they wouldn't have to share with the dirty non-producers…. then there would be no one to do the grunt work, and you would have to create more poor folk to keep the rich, well, rich…"

Sounds pretty much like where the GOP is taking us.

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 8:13 pm

i would like to point out the lack of gov't regulation in many of the countries one assumes dr paul is referencing. but on the same day dr. paul's moron son is undergoing intense scrutiny for backing gov't intervention when a fucking bridge on his watch is about to implode, really, the schadenfreude just takes over.

imissopus September 15, 2011 at 8:42 pm

The free market should intervene to fix that bridge!

comrad_darkness September 16, 2011 at 12:07 am

if they sold the toll rights, sure. Put a toll on every block of road and hand it over to private companies to manage. It will be a driving paradise!11!!!!

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 7:09 am

Exactly medieval Europe!

Terry September 16, 2011 at 9:17 am

If that area needed a bridge, private industry would build it!

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 7:41 am

Actually, Rand said it was not a big deal until folks pointed out he was a moron. Then he started begging for federal money. So he is just like his father in that regard.

ManchuCandidate September 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Africa by Toto Paul

I heard Ron Paul blathering tonight
But he feels the wanking from an invisible hand job
He''s coming on a money bomb blimp flight
The rantings of Ayn Rand from the nuts that guide him towards salvation
I stopped that old man along the way,
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or casual inanities
He turned to me as if to say, Hurry Dumbass, Somalia's waiting there for you

It's gonna take a lot to drag you from me
There's nothing a hundred thousand Paultards have spewed
Socialism causes famines down in Africa
Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

The Paultards cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some Randish sympahties
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as The Ron Paul Blimp rises like a toxic cloud above the US America
I seek to cure what's deep inside, not surprised of the insanities that he's mouthed

It's gonna take a lot to drag you from me
There's nothing a hundred fat Paultards could ever do
Socialism causes famines down in Africa
Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

Hurry Ron, Somalia's waiting there for you
It's gonna take a lot to drag you away from me
There's nothing that a hundred fat Paultards could ever do

Socialism causes famine in Africa, Paul blames Karl Marx down in Africa
Socialism causes famine in Africa, Paul blames Karl Marx down in Africa
Socialism causes famine in Africa
Gonna read about a world (Rand's) that never existed

SorosBot September 15, 2011 at 11:06 pm

No fair putting this on the second page so it looked like no one had already made that reference.

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 8:19 pm

africa doesn't have any free market systems and property rights

dr paul, implying all of africa is somalia is a little like saying all of america is texas.

natoslug September 15, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Not yet, but we're working hard on making all of America Texas.

BTWBFDIMHO September 15, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Texas is flat, then planet Earth is flat.

metamarcisf September 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Thanks, Doc. But if I want that type of logic and insight, I'll go watch "Ancient Aliens" on the History Channel.

poncho_pilot September 15, 2011 at 8:36 pm

yeah but isn't he one?

ChuckieJesus September 15, 2011 at 10:34 pm

OMFG my husband watches that show. It's like Project Runway for nerds.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:55 pm

I'm watching it right now. I do it mostly for the lolz, but also because every once in awhile there is a bit of actual science fact in it.

KenLayIsAlive September 15, 2011 at 8:29 pm

After his little 9/11 debacle at the last debate, he's just trying to get back into the good graces of the GOP with a little of the old fashioned racism.

imissopus September 15, 2011 at 8:30 pm

"Big government welfare bankruptcies."

Yep, hit all the Paultard code words. Not in a context that makes any sense, of course, but he got 'em all in there.

I'm at the point of saying let's give the Paultards a state or two, maybe a couple of those Southern ones where hardly anyone wants to live anyway, let them set up their own little independent nation with Ron Paul as President for Life, and let their hoped-for experiment in zero government run its course. Fuck it, it would be better than having to listen to any of them.

elviouslyqueer September 15, 2011 at 8:59 pm

let them set up their own little independent nation with Ron Paul as President for Life, let their hoped-for experiment in zero government run its course.

Welcome to the Mississippi Delta, President Dr. Paul. Enjoy your stay.

Terry September 16, 2011 at 9:21 am

How about if we do that, we give the black people the option to live elsewhere?

Chet Kincaid September 15, 2011 at 9:01 pm

That is an excellent idea!! All of the so-called United States should be reorganized in the same manner as charter schools and "takeover schools" in our big-city public school systems. Give a bunch of states to a bunch of different organizations of varying political/social/religious philosophies, and let them "flourish" in new and innovative ways, away from the heavy bureaucratic hand of the Feds. Some Libertard States, some Afro-Centric States, some Dominionist States, perhaps even an All-Boy State and All-Girl State! Whichever state ends up with the biggest gross domestic product and the best standard of living after 5 years gets "rolled out" systemwide. We'll clean up the dead in the others.

HistoriCat September 15, 2011 at 11:26 pm

I'm going to sneak into the All-Girl State – sounds like a great place.

imissopus September 15, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Unless the libertarians win, in which case everyone cleans up their own dead because SOCIALISM! NO GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS! NANNY STATE! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

Terry September 16, 2011 at 9:23 am

The libertarians won't win. Sure, they'll all dine happily for a while on nothing but Chik-fil-a sandwiches while typing blog posts, but no actual work will get done and the infrastructure will crumble except behind the gates of the Koch brothers' estate.

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 9:21 pm

somalia's getting a little sick of being at the bottom of human league tables.

GunToting[Redacted] September 16, 2011 at 9:59 am

Only if we include a large dome, like in the Steven King (the author, not the asshole) novel, or in The Simpsons movie. Need to ensure that there are no outside influences on their little utopia.

Rotundo_ September 15, 2011 at 8:31 pm

But these starved and thirsty folks over there have money right? Okay, then they have to have something to barter right? Okay, then there has to be work for them to *earn* some money and buy food and water then right? Okay, so what you're saying is that is that they have nothing, except possibly some clothing (okay, rags) and no work is available and there is no food or water to buy right? Well some enterprising folks need to take advantage of this low wage paradise immediately! Okay, so none of them have any useful skills since they are probably crippled and brain damaged from poor nutrition and dehydration? Damn it sure is hard to find market solutions to this sort of thing sometimes! Gosh, it's almost as if economic "law" doesn't really hold up too well in the real world. I know senator(s) Paul must have figured out a market solution that will involve no cost to the wealthy of the world to make this problem "go away". I know Libertarian policy must hold a solution, it can't just be "Fuck you I got mine, sucker!" like the naysayers claim. Ron is just holding out to reveal his master plan……

V572 T-Blow September 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm

You left out "illiterate."

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:35 am

"I know Libertarian policy must hold a solution, it can't just be "Fuck you I got mine, sucker!"

Sadly, I think that is exactly their stand.

randomsausage September 15, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Sir, Ron Paul evacuating himself is like a dog walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.

johnnyzhivago September 15, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Ron Paul as usual is spot on here… Africa's finest moment was during the free market salad days of King Leopold's of Belgium's reign when Africans had their hands cut off if they didn't harvest enough rubber.

Doktor Zoom September 15, 2011 at 8:42 pm

TR Reid had an interesting observation in his 2009 book The Healing of America, which compares healthcare around the world. He noted that every country's doctors think there are huge problems with their own system's priorities in healthcare delivery…and that NO ONE in other developed countries wants their systems to become more like America's. In fact, in Europe, suggesting that a change to one of the existing systems will usher in "American style medical care" is usually a form of scaremongering that terrifies those folks as badly as the term "socialized medicine" scares old Texans.

Here's a good long interview with Reid on Fresh Air

V572 T-Blow September 15, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I spend some time in Italy, which has totally socialized medicine in the purest sense: doctors are government employees and work in government-owned facilities–sort of like we provide for the military. Yes, there are private clinics but even the wealthiest people use the government system.

As you say, they wouldn't trade it for our system in a million years.

valgal2342 September 15, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Ron, please go try to fix Africa and take your son Rand with you and…..don't come back.

Guppy06 September 15, 2011 at 11:23 pm

The last time his ilk tried to "fix Africa," Uganda started hanging gays.

valgal2342 September 15, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Well, I wouldn't want that to happen, I just want to get rid of my state's Jr. Senator. Maybe they could get trampled by elephants before starting any trouble.

fuflans September 15, 2011 at 9:25 pm

'africa'?? wtf dr paul???

you are fucking representative in my fucking government and you refer to a continent of 54 nation states as if it was 'galveston'.

glamourdammerung September 15, 2011 at 9:27 pm

I find it odd that a guy that was published by Willis Carto (the same clown that pretty much started the Holocaust Denial fringe in the U.S.) seems to have issues with African society. Between that and Paul's frequent appearances on the White Citizens Council programs, one could suggest a pattern of behavior.

SudsMcKenzie September 15, 2011 at 9:30 pm

He's retiring after this. The family has already taken away his home with a pool. Let Crazy grandpa yell one last time!11

Angry_Marmot September 15, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Can we leave Ron Paul on an ice floe while there's still some left?

mrblifil September 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm

I'm sure the famines had nothing to do with complete and utter lack of birth control. Oh and since he loves the free market I guess he'll be down with establishing a private for-profit Abortion Industry, in answer to all the suffering and starvation and shit. He was an obstetrician after all.

HobbesEvilTwin September 15, 2011 at 9:46 pm

added Paul, it's those god-damned niggers own fault that they let Europeans colonize and exploit the shit out of 'em for centuries. See: capitalism good, poor colonized socialist scum bad.

owhatever September 15, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Let's send missionaries from McDonald's, with like a voucher program for happy meals.

Negropolis September 15, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Not sure if Ron has noticed, but "Africa" (you know, the whole country.) is basically where America was in the 1910's/1920's in terms of its economy, robber barons, shoddy regulations, and the whole deal. You know, the great socialist teens and twenties of the early 20th century. lol

El Pinche September 15, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Somalia => Dr. Paul's former campaign manager (RIP)

Sick , uninsured, and eventually deceased , that's the ultimate destination when you go Galt.

OKthennext September 15, 2011 at 10:50 pm

And isn't anarchy libertarianism's first cousin once-removed?

HistoriCat September 15, 2011 at 11:31 pm

More like conjoined twins – even if you somehow set up a "libertarian" society, you're going to end up with anarchy or an actual form of government.

Doktor Zoom September 16, 2011 at 1:32 am

And without Nanny-state gummint interference, either pair can get married!

subsum September 15, 2011 at 10:53 pm

I want to ask Ron Paul to provide an example of a country that became prosperous–and remains so today–by following Ayn Rand's principles for societal dynamics? Just one country. Name one.

Give me the name of one fucking country that became civilized and remains so today and lacks taxpayers, financial regulation, public education, a social safety net and a strong judiciary to enforce the rule of law.

D'ya wanna know how many there are, Ronnie-boy? Zero. Not even Austria, the place Von Mises (Paul's object of late-night masturbation) came from, followed that insane bullshit he came up with!

Oh, and while I'm at it, I got news for ya: Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead are works of (bad) fiction. The shit described in those books never fucking happened. Got that? Even Alan Greenspan realized all that shit was just plain old bullshit. Why can't ya?

Doktor Zoom September 15, 2011 at 11:24 pm

I want to ask Ron Paul to provide an example of a country that became prosperous–and remains so today–by following Ayn Rand's principles for societal dynamics? Just one country. Name one.

Psshhh–As I know from having argued with Sophomore Marxists about "TRUE Communism" when I was in college (back in the 80's, don't you know, when we wore onions on our belts, 'cause that was the fashion in those days….), the only reason you can't find an example is because no pure enough version has ever been tried. The Sheeple are too afraid and timid to recognize the inherent brilliance of the ideal system, plus corrupt enemies with their dead hands on the levers of power won't let it happen. Here, take this pamphlet….

LetUsBray September 16, 2011 at 12:10 am

On the Daily Show I guess about a year ago he cited the US in its first decades as close to the ideal: So, slavery and suffrage limited to white guys with property FTW!

SorosBot September 15, 2011 at 10:54 pm

And here, I thought Africa's big problem, as Bono, Paul McCarty and others taught me, was that they didn't know it was Christmastime at all.

Either that, or that I hear the drums echoing tonight, But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation. She's coming in the 12:30 flight, The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation.

I stopped an old man along the way, Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies; He turned to me as if to say,"Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you!"

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa; Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

Doktor Zoom September 15, 2011 at 11:32 pm

It's gonna take a car to drag me away from you,
There's nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do,
I guess it rains down in Africa,
I've led some raids down in Africa,
I miss the grains down in Africa,
I left my brains down in Africa….(fade out)

(all stolen shamelessly from http://www.kissthisguy.com )

HistoriCat September 15, 2011 at 11:35 pm

All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you compare famine

Those are both great ideas Ron. So shut the fuck up, study some history, and analyze some data. Once you've done all that what you have to say will be relevant. Until then, just keep masturbating to Ayn Rand while sitting on a stack of gold bars and silver coins and let the folks here on Planet Reality get on with things. OK?

mausgeo September 15, 2011 at 11:43 pm

No EPA =choking diesel fumes in downtown Anywhere in Africa. And no regulations mean slums built on gas pipelines. No problem

GeorgiaBurning September 16, 2011 at 9:41 am

Welcome to Houston in 2019

user-of-owls September 15, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Ron Paul's Platform is this generation's Modest Proposal.

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 2:38 am

well, he used to deliver babies…

…in thirty minutes or less.

comrad_darkness September 16, 2011 at 12:05 am

Ron Paul, right about one single thing and absolutely nothing else.

johnnyzhivago September 16, 2011 at 12:13 am

Blimp travel.

BZ1 September 16, 2011 at 12:09 am

doesn't every family have a crazy old uncle?

Warpde September 16, 2011 at 1:48 am

Hey Ron.
Why don't you be a good public servant and go over there to show those starving the capitalistic light?
I'll give you a day before your head is on a stick.

Rarian Rakista September 16, 2011 at 2:12 am

Libertarianism is just anarchy with cops to beat people up who don't like living in anarchy.

donner_froh September 16, 2011 at 2:15 am

Calling sub-Sahara Africa socialist shows Paul doesn't know anything about Africa or socialism. No problems other than that.

ShaveTheWhales September 16, 2011 at 3:14 am

Great. I've always know Ron Paul was a crackpot. Now I know he's a massively ignorant and irrational crackpot. Happily, this has not changed my life, because Ron Paul's chance of being elected POTUS is unchanged (zero doesn't change much).

But, who are the people that keep electing him as their Congressman? Who are the enthusiasts that act like he's the second coming of — I don't really know — King Arthur? Is it just that they're all high? They must be really fucking high. I've never been within miles of being high enough to consider voting for Dr. Ron. Why won't they share, huh??

So, (1) fuck Ron Paul, if that's necessary, and (2), now that I think of it, complete the following:

Ron Paul is the Second Coming of _______________.

GunToting[Redacted] September 16, 2011 at 10:15 am

There's a problem here, which I expect is common of all who espouse libertarian ideals… About 72% of what they say actually MAKES SENSE. Dr. Paul was on NPR several weeks ago and I found myself agreeing with much of his statements, particularly around our military excursions and the drug war. The problem is, they carry these ideals to the nth degree where they become batshit insane.

I'd vote for Ron Paul if we could put some sort of ideas limiter on him.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 3:35 am

Just keep in mind that at worst, Paul has shown himself to be a blatant racist. At best, he has shown himself to be too incompetent to run a newsletter.

The fact he used to (not sure if he still does) claim a tax-exemption for his newsletter group as a "religious organization" was one of those things that I would wonder why someone got away with it if it was not for the behavior of the average Paultard.

Tyrant September 16, 2011 at 4:12 am

Zimbabwe is certainly starving due to incompetent dictatorship.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 5:28 am

And Somalia is not exactly an economic superpower in case you have not noticed. Though I noticed quite a few…peculiar remarks you made over at Big Bigotry.

Tyrant 93p · 1 day ago
London lost the Battle Of Britain, as there are hardly any British left in that city.

Tyrant 93p · 2 days ago
If they aren't looking more carefully at middle easterners then they aren't doing their job.

4 days ago @ Big Government – DHS: No Return to Pre-… · 0 replies · +2 points

No Muslims, no worries.
If we have to racially profile them or place them in interment camps then so be it.

4 days ago @ Big Government – Sunday Open Thread: 9/11 · 0 replies · +6 points

I envisioned a ban on further Muslim immigration, and a mass migration out for those already here.

What is it with Paultards and casual bigotry? Also, how exactly are internment camps logically coherent with "small government"?

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 6:28 am

Thank you for that, glam.

Tyrant September 16, 2011 at 7:47 am

Somalia is in a state of Anarchy and anarchy is very different from Liberty.

Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry. The end result is violence, and no one wants that.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 8:10 am

Somalia is in a state of Anarchy and anarchy is very different from Liberty.

There is no overreaching government in Somalia. There is no functional government at all. Making up your own definitions for "anarchy" and "liberty" does not change that fact.

Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry.

Not only did you avoid my simple question about how own supporting concentration camps and small governments can be possibly be logically consistent, you used a nonsense argument to do so. According to your "logic", Jews in Germany decayed the nation from within and that the Nazi regime was their fault.

Also, you still post a lot of bigoted nonsense.

The end result is violence, and no one wants that.

You obviously are full of it or do not read the stupidity you post.

Tyrant September 16, 2011 at 8:47 am

A small Federal government is not the same as no government at all. There is also the State and local level. A Republic government too, not just 'government'

I'm not a Paulite, I just happened to decide to support him a few months ago because I like many though not all of his major policies. I suppose many Paul supporters don't like every thing he is for, but at least he wont lie to you He's also the only one with the balls to actually end all these silly foreign wars.

I don't pretend to know why the Holocaust happened, but that level of disregard for human life only occurs in ethnic conflicts.

Doktor Zoom September 16, 2011 at 9:38 am

"Multiculturalism decays a nation from within and fosters racism and bigotry."

That's good–some variations:

The presence of Jews fosters antisemitism.

Without blacks around, there'd be no need for racism.

If there weren't so many (fill in despised group here) there'd be no need to despise them.

LOGIC: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Chet Kincaid September 16, 2011 at 9:44 am

I think he already knows that's what he meant.

Tyrant September 16, 2011 at 10:05 am

There is a difference between Jews that have a historical presence in Western Europe for around 1,900 years compared to new immigrant groups that may cause long term problems.

But the cure for Africa's ill is a mass immigration of Western educated Blacks back to Africa. Humanitarian societies have made the mistake that visiting social workers can change Africa for the better. But what is needed is not visitors but permanent settlers and due to obvious racial differences associated with integration this can't be accomplished by non-African descended peoples.

worrierqueen September 16, 2011 at 4:20 am

"Somalia is ruled under a system called “anarchy,” one where there is no actual cohesive federal government or institutions or regulations or security, which is technically speaking the freest market system of them all."

Does this mean RonPaul is already King of the Horn?

extreme_left September 16, 2011 at 5:20 am

Ron Paul for President of Africa!

smokefilleddoommate September 16, 2011 at 5:29 am

I know!! Plumpy'nut Plan™ cards for all African children with kwashiorkor or marasmus. Can't lift your tiny malnourished arm to present your Plan card? Then no life-sustaining nutrients! Very simple. No card, no coverage. We'll even verify coverage if you do have a card, you three-year-old darkie famine freeloader. Get a taste of capitalism!

(Cue montage of heartbreakingly suffering African children with gentle BASF-style voiceover stating how some behemoth pharma is "giving" and "compassionate", etc; i.e., "We don't make Africans. We make the starving Africans for your marketing campaign better.)

johnnyzhivago September 16, 2011 at 6:25 am

I know Ron Paul is opposed to open ended, natiion building missions, but exactly how does he feel about the US starting a new program of colonization?

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 6:53 am

If Paultards really get their way, the sorts of diseases that lay waste to the most undeveloped countries will make big come backs in the US, esp. the South. Goodbye public health, welcome back malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, cholera, typhus, typhoid, etc.!

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 7:42 am

You forgot rabies. Though with teabaggers, who would notice an outbreak?

zhubajie September 16, 2011 at 6:54 am

Somalia suffers a lot from being a US target in the War on Terror.

JustPixelz September 16, 2011 at 7:34 am

These guys play fast and loose with what may be considered socialism. But China is unquestionably socialist* and runs a booming, highly successful economy in part by embracing the principles the TP'ers espouse: little environmental regulation, low wages (probably no minimum wage), etc.
_______________________________
* one-third of U.S. GDP is public sector; same as China, though in different segments

MrFizzy September 16, 2011 at 8:29 am

Achtung Ronnie – don't you mean Afrika?

Mahousu September 16, 2011 at 8:50 am

I think what Ron Paul meant was not that socialism causes famines, but that, somehow, socialism makes you feel like you're starving. I know that when I was in Norway, people had trouble dragging me away from the koldtbord. I didn't really need another helping of dilled shrimp, but the socialism drove me to it.

PubOption September 16, 2011 at 9:04 am

Since socialized medicine came to Ireland, how many times has that country run out of potatoes?

Terry September 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

Ron Paul is not only an amoral fool but a potentially dangerous one if he were even given significant power.

alzronnie September 16, 2011 at 9:18 am

Sure, the famine is due to the socialism, mostly, but also because of the public employees and their fat pensions.

Terry September 16, 2011 at 9:38 am

Ron Paul wants to talk historical famines, huh? How about the frickin Irish potato famine? Yeah, it was because they were all commie socialists, for sure. Dirt poor peasants living off a single crop, the only thing that grows in good quantities on tiny pieces of marginal land. Ship most of the food out of the country to pay the absentee landlords (capitalism! free markets!). Hit the place with a fast blight that destroys the one damn thing the peasants can grow for themselves. Charities and individuals did try to help, step in because the government couldn't (Ireland) or wouldn't (England). Some people and charities worked the best they could. Others offered food, but only if Catholics would convert. "Take the soup" meant change your core values out of desperation. What did other people do, including many of those absentee landlords? Instead of helping, they clucked their tongues, how sad this all is, and saw the "truth" in political cartoons that portrayed the Irish as subhuman. It's easier to let a half-ape starve over there than to live by the supposed Christian values you espouse. So, basically, f#$k you, Ron Paul.

genxr September 16, 2011 at 10:06 am

The answer is obvious. Africa needs to lower taxes and stop government regulation. Then they'll be prosperous and happy, like Scandinavia.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 10:08 am

As far as claims that Libertarians are not cool with Somalia:
http://mises.org/daily/2066

Please note that Papa Doc Paul is a "fellow" there as well as the "institute" has published some of his books.

itsjesuscriss September 16, 2011 at 10:25 am

Our Father who are in heaven,
Hollowed be thy name,
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
In Amurka as well as Somalia.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and starve the Socialists and withhold the rain,
Lead us not into Obamacare,
But deliver us from taxes.
Amen and Gold is god.

Chet Kincaid September 16, 2011 at 10:33 am

Since we have nothing to talk about but this asshole this morning, I would like someone to find the enlightened, libertarian respect for individual rights in his position on abortion. Why is it that a human being's right to life, liberty and happiness is subsumed by that of some other pre-human life-form resident in her body? How does it fit with libertarian principles to mandate that someone support someone else for 9 months at the expense of their own life, liberty and happiness?

And for those nodding along with his isolationism on the radio, can you really support 72% of these positions:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_positions_

DustBowlBlues September 16, 2011 at 11:46 am

Who's going to be the first Republitard to just cold say, "Fuck the Beatitudes."

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 2:09 pm

first you have to find one who is actually as familiar with the Bible as they'd like you to believe they are.

dawn9476 September 16, 2011 at 11:50 am

Somalia is no where close to be a socialist country. It's a failed state run by terrorists.

ttommyunger September 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Ron Paul, the Cloaca of American Politicians: simultaneously the source of drek and hope for the future.

voteliberty2012 September 16, 2011 at 3:56 pm

So if you don't trust Ron Paul, how about an African economist who is saying essentially the same thing.
Dambisa Moyo describes how foreign aid and lack of free markets are destroying Africa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXWIUg30Cpk&fe

TheMightyHaltor September 15, 2011 at 8:44 pm

If I ever go "Galt-curious", it would be in my rational self-interest to shoot myself in the face.

user-of-owls September 15, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Sound like instead he should start eating lotus.

PuckStopsHere September 16, 2011 at 12:37 am

Actually, they had a little bit of that going on a few short decades ago when some of the Quebecers got serious about leaving The Dominion and kidnapped the guy who was Canada City's Secretary of State or something like it, and murdered him. Things have quieted quite a bit on that front, but there is a sizable faction in that province who feel Quebec should be a nation unto itself. I think, in fact, it is the reason the Expos left.

LetUsBray September 16, 2011 at 1:31 am

And indeed, what you're describing is practically as bad as Somalia, if not worse.

I don't follow baseball. But I thought the Expos skipped town because no one went to their games.

PuckStopsHere September 16, 2011 at 2:42 am

The Expos did skip town on account of poor attendance. Because of separatist terrorists. Who wants to be there the night they blow up Jarry Park, or wherever in the hell it was they played? Hengh???

HistoriCat September 16, 2011 at 7:17 am

I thought no one came to the games because they a) sucked and b) were not playing hockey.

BarryOPotter September 16, 2011 at 8:29 am

Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 8:54 am

A small Federal government is not the same as no government at all. There is also the State and local level. A Republic government too, not just 'government'

None of which has anything to do with what Ron Paul stated in the clip. Again, if you have to make up your own definitions to back up your assertions, that should tell you how sound your logic is.

WunkRocker September 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

You know who else didn't like diversity (homnosexyull, handicapped, jewy, gypsy, et cetera)? Also.

horsedreamer_1 September 16, 2011 at 9:42 am

In Ron's defense, noted panderer Jonah Goldberg also believes the latter.

GeorgiaBurning September 16, 2011 at 9:43 am

That's what happens when that "well-regulated militia" starts regulating back

Tyrant September 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

Nor did Ron Paul ever admire Somalia's current political situation.
But how would you describe most African countries if not socialist? Most of them claim socialism, though I guess many of them are still divided politically on tribal lines.
What they certainly lack is a free republic society.

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 9:58 am

Nor did Ron Paul ever admire Somalia's current political situation.

While it is nice to see you have moved on from making up your own definitions to straw man arguments, you still seem to have forgotten to read what you are replying to.

Is there an over-reaching government in Somalia? Since there is no functional government, there is about as free of a market as one is going to find. Is the country an economic success?

glamourdammerung September 16, 2011 at 10:10 am

But the cure for Africa's ill is a mass immigration of Western educated Blacks back to Africa. Humanitarian societies have made the mistake that visiting social workers can change Africa for the better. But what is needed is not visitors but permanent settlers and due to obvious racial differences associated with integration this can't be accomplished by non-African descended peoples.

You know, it would be much shorter and more honest to just call it "The Final Solution to the Blacks, Muslims, and Everyone Else Tyrant Personally Dislikes Question".

Doktor Zoom September 16, 2011 at 10:13 am

Oh, how nice! And then all the disruptive browns would go away from Amurka!

As the Church Lady would say, How con-VEEEE-nient!

I'd be willing to bet that very few people in your everyday life recognize your inner brilliance, do they? Darn sheeple….

EDIT: He's not a racist. He accepts Jews as pretty much white. What a progressive thinkier!

Negropolis September 16, 2011 at 9:05 pm

And, why don't you go back to fucking Europe and release them from the bondage of socialism. I mean, us African Americans can't do it, because we wouldn't be trusted among the white people.

Really, just STFU, already. You really need to be banned.

mumbly_joe September 18, 2011 at 3:20 am

The existence of the Spanish language disputes the newness of an Arab presence in Western Europe.

I mean, for crissakes, the title of the very first vernacular novel was a Spanish-Arabic pun.

Doktor Zoom September 16, 2011 at 10:31 am

Still clinging to your puns and religion?

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 10:34 am

Bitter late than never.

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 10:59 am

One L Michele, except for that one lady's HPV induced mentally deficient daughter? And Marcus, of course….

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 11:05 am

oh yeah, bring up 'synergy' and I'll have to get medieval on somebody's ass…

chicken_thief September 16, 2011 at 11:16 am

We'll circle back to you on that….

Radiotherapy® September 16, 2011 at 11:40 am

Break out session….

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm

sometimes i love songs that manage to reduce complex issues to dumb lyrics:
http://youtu.be/hez0kgdyUAM

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Me, too. And speaking of Jesus,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUrqaJZH-04

No wonder there are so many Xtians…

poncho_pilot September 16, 2011 at 2:05 pm

well if this guy is telling the truth then for sure.
http://youtu.be/7-NOZU2iPA8

not that Dewey September 16, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Holy Crap! (and I mean that literally!) I've never seen rejected Lawrence Welk Show audition tapes before.

Dashboard_Jesus September 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm

LOL, made me spew coffee out my nose (at least it wasn't my favorite wine again!)

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