The GOP is of course known generally as the “pro-genocide party” when it comes to illegal immigrants, but the field of GOP presidential candidates appears to be worried that America’s dim racist slobs have not been able to connect them enough with this platform. “Hey,” the Racist Slob Empire of Arizona whispered, “we’ve got a guy for that.” Cue Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the deranged sociopath who builds sprawling desert concentration camps where he tortures other human beings for their failure to be white. GREAT. GOOD. This guy, he is the GOP presidential field’s new boyfriend.
OR, should we say, they would all like to be his boyfriend, but hottest-girl-at-the-prom Joe Arpaio is still holding out.
From AP:
“They’re all calling him,” [Arpaio campaign manager Chad] Willems said, adding that Arpaio will take his time on deciding on making an endorsement. “They’re all in a hurry of course.”
In the meantime, Arpaio will brag about being a GOP slut, on Twitter. The Latino voters, they will love this! [AP/Twitter]
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Sheriff Arpaio will gather all the Republicans together at his house in Arizona, set loose a Mexican and the first to hogtie the sucker wins his endorsement.
Hogtie? There is no hunting like the hunting of man. It is, after all, the most dangerous game…
While the most dangerous Game is a rapper after getting dropped from his label for poor sales.
I hope the illegal immigration discussion included a hot fireplace iron up his ass. Otherwise, who cares?
he's just gonna grease up one of his prisoners and invite all the candidates out. If you catch him, you get the endorsement. You also get to catapult the prisoner over the border.
What if the prisoner is not Messican &/or undocumented? Should our southern trading partner have to accept our reprobates?
Like the state critter of the Texas of my youth, he's just an armored dildo.
So in Texas terms, there's a competition to see who gets to be Sherif Joe Arpaio's "Asshole Buddy"? Is that valid in Arizona?
Just no Twitter "cock shots" OK Joe.
In a shocking twist, Sheriff Arpaio endorsed long-shot candidate Herman Cain. Republican insiders quoted on condition of anonymity said they believed the decision was heavily influenced by Arpaio's fondness for meat combo pizza.
Heh. You said "meat combo."
Surely, in the form of a hot beef injection.
Got a temperature of an hundred & three
He's gotten hot beefed (hot beefed!)
♫ He's got hoes
In different area codes ♫
Seeing the Republicans get into this downward-bidding match over who's the most socially regressive reminds me of when you're playing Monopoly, how at the beginning of the game everyone scrambles to buy every piece of property they can land on in an attempt to collect all of them. Can Perry pick up Arpaio? If so, then all he needs is to beat Santorum out for the anti-gay vote by showing how many queers he executed in Texas–then he gets to charge everyone double! (or something like that?)
All I got was Perry, something about beating off, and santorum.
-Marcus B.
I'm sure they are all going to talk about their immigration policy, "No Juan Left Behind"
I would have thought the souvenir was pink panties.
I could see Real Joe getting behind Bachmann.
*wink wink*
To be fair, Sheriff Joe hates poor whites, too.
Yeah, and the KKK didn't much care for Catholics and Jews, either. Didn't ever much distract from their main mission focus. There is usually a hierarchy for hate.
The way it looks now the GOP is just the Pro-Genocide Party period.
Did sherif Joe happen to show his softer side? I hear his collection of life-size "Hummel figurines" made from Immigrant toddlers is heartwarming.
Arpaio, that name does not sound 100% true blue Amerikkkan to me.
He looks a little Asian, to me…
Marrrrrrco!
[long pause]
Pooooooolo!
Where the hell is Billy Jack when you need him?
Dear Sheriff Joe, in the words of the esteemed Mandarin philosopher, Chuck Fou Yarlie…
Lorem quod quinque modis et posuit ubi non lucet sol.
Or, as Lindsay Graham would say:
Nullam a velit quis sexum sexus semel ore eorum et semper in posterum faciendum.
Or, as Marcus Bachmann always says:
Ego puto in orto meo.
Why is everybody speaking Mexican?
i wish i could fist you a million times
Real men don't use Twitter.
Didn't he already give a set of pink underwear to Mooselini when she visited his concentration camp? I think that means they're going steady and he's waiting for her to announce.
She was supposed to give those back after the photo-op. Now MCSD is out $400,000.
Pretty sure the afterlife for all these assholes is going to include wearing pink underwear and living in a sweltering tent city.
Joe Arpaio is the kind of guy you know would have been the right-hand man to Vlad the Impaler had he been living at the time. Fence. Stake. Severed head. Exactly the sort of sexually perverse social stew that the Joe Arpaios of the world live for.
Joe Arpaio is the kind of guy you know would have been
the right-hand man toVlad the Impaler had he been living at the time.Joe the Impaler.
So the GOPers effort to win the Latino vote is working as planned.
Only the business end that's still flopping around in the desert sun.
The six of them left, yes.
I find it depressing how well analogies of high school describe national politics.
He is probably just checking to see which candidate is most likely to "Ted Stevens" the current investigations.
You mean die?
I meant "accidentally" make so many obvious mistakes that the charges get dropped. Though I am not adverse to the option you brought up.
Reverend Wright? WRONG!
Sheriff Joe? PATRIOT!!
Coming to Kiss Sherrif Joe's Ring? (Sounds like a Flaming Western Porno…)
Coming to kiss Sheriff Joe's (Cock) Ring.
Santorum coming to rim Sherrif Joe's Ring.
Coming to Kiss Sheriff Joe's Cinnamon Ring.
(Cinnaman would work too.)
Isn't the real question who Samuel Wurzelbacher is going to endorse?! Or maybe the media should anoint a patch of lichen kingmaker and see how that goes.
I thought it had.
BTW, is Wonkette advertising a book about how to explain mommy/daddy parts to kids to everyone or is it just me?
Worse! It's explaining little girl/little boy parts to kids! And it's never too early to explain buttsecs!
Also.
Little naked girl to little naked boy "Can I touch it?"
Little naked boy to little naked girl "Hell no, you already broke your's off"
Does it explain the role of whiskey and/or wine coolers in the Miracle of Life?
The mommy parts book was used to draft most Repubican legislation this year.
Hey, could ya'll please stop posting about this or at least post "spoiler alert" I'm waiting for my copy to arrive.
I'm just wondering how they fill a whole book, even a children's book, with "boys have a penis, girls have a vagina," "boys have a wee-wee, girls have a hoo-haw," "boys have a clamdigger, girls have a funbox," etc… never mind, I think I just answered my own question.
someone definitely knows their audience.
I'm looking forward to Senator Elizabeth Warren's 2013 hearings on law enforcement abuses and waste…
Will she subpoena Arpaio? But, but, he will be the Vice President and the presiding officer of the U.S. Senate…
That's going to be hard when President Perry suspends the Senate in 3/13.
Look, when there's a fire in the Capitol building you can't fool around with legal niceties. It'll just be temporary.
I could got for a little Reichstag fire action right about now. President Barry for Life wouldn't be so bad considering what's waiting on the horizon.
I would still prefer a Democrat instead of a Demoquisling, but you go to hell in the handbasket you're given.
We joke now…but who will Pres. Perry pin the blame on for the Capitol fire? Muslims…Liberals…Unions? There just so much hate in that party that they just might fail because they're unable to focus their actions.
All of them, Katie.
Emperor Perrpatine.
Who will be his Jar-Jar Binks? Lindsay Graham, maybe?
Arizona Joe misspelled Michele! There may be a market for a teatard word editor as well as spellchecker. Encountering the word gay would change it to homosexual. Union would be changed to lazy gangsters. Progressive to America-haters.
Shit, it could change wrong to right, just as Fox and company does.
Spelling is for sissy pussies.
Billionaires to "job creators".
Millionaires to "job creators".
Taxes to "terrorism".
Science to "voodoo".
♪♫Don we now our homosexual apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la♪♬
I thought union was OK as long as you append "thug" to it.
Shit to Shinola.
This is better than an endorsement from Tim Pawlenty.
This is good news for John McCain.
Who?
First candidate to tap their foot under Joe Arpaio's bathroom stall wins.
The Pink Panty Revolution will be televised.
Is that the successor serial to WeLiveTogether.com?
Niggers OUT!, Queers OUT!
Yo Sherriff Joe, the world is coming for you..
The only endorsement that exceeds Joe Arpaio's in importance is Joe the Plumber. If a candidate is good enough for a teatard dipshit businessman wannabe, it's good enough for the Republican primary voter.
Well, with Joe you get a broad cross section of the american right, but don't forget some of those other important endorsements: There are Klan leaders, Militia leaders, the Westboro endorsement, so many flavors and all of them must taste like shit.
I can't wait until one desperate candidate stands outside of a Phoenix area home depot all day in blackface and a raiders T-shirt hoping in vain that Joe-The-Sherriff will come ask him for his papers.
Rick Santorum can't wait to show how ready he is–He'll be wearing his steel-toed boots.
Looks like all the GOoPer candidates are now going for the goddamned fuckin' racist vote. They can't help it; it's their nature.
See "The Political Cesspool", the aptly named program of the former White Citizens Council (until they decided the name was a bit controversial during the Reagan years). I think every current GOP candidate has been on there at least once, and Papa Doc Paul is a stable of their show.
And just when didn't they pander for the racist vote, hmmmm, let me think, when nixon was the candidate, oops sorry, maybe when Ike ran….nope, wrong again, segregation was still in full force then, weeeeel how about when Ronald Reagan ran…..sorry, wrong number, well I give up.
Well, Fremont's crappy campaing in 1856 didn't really pander to the slave holders, if that counts. Of course, Lincoln did in 60 and certainly wasn't against getting the votes of virulent racists in 64, so that may have been the end of it.
This man needs a serious fucking ass whippin'!
You know that won't work; he would fucking love it.
I'm holding out for Steven Seagal to eat Arpiehole.
Ya mean…Steven "The Puppy Killer" Seagal?
And why are they talking to Sheriff Klansman? They want to make him Sec. of State?
Attorney-General or no endorsement.
Secretary of Hate.
What, is Sheriff Buford T. Justice not available?
Or Roscoe P. Coltrane?
How about Judge Roy Bean? Reagan's dead too, but that doesn't stop them from wanting his endoresement.
I was thinking,
♫ ♬ I shot the Sheriff ♫ ♬
This election may just kill me.
Any olds on here that were alive during dumber times? How did you survive?
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Duck!
Duck and Cover.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U
Revre!11
I survived Bush 43, that counts as dumber times, right?
Got a Nixon & Two Reagans in my hand.
Time to fold boys.
Damn. Know when to walk away, know when to run.
No, unfortunately it does not.
Bush 43 is a fucking genius compared to this bumper crop of stupid-crazy. Hell, I miss 43.
An an old, I'd have to say it's hard to tell if there were dumber times or not. Used to be that dumb people got laughed at and then they slunk back into their single-wide trailers to hide out, so you never really knew how many dumb people there really were. Nowadays they say dumbs things and get rewarded with jobs on Fux News and in Congress.
As one who first voted for Adlai Stevenson over Eisenhower I'd have to say that there were some bad times (Nixon, Reagan, Bush the Elder) but nothing like this. Surveying this field of Republican tackling dummies makes me sort of yearn for the likes of a Barry Goldwater. This is the pits. Or worse.
During the debate the other night Wolf threw to an Arizona teabagger to ask a question. A sign behind the guy announced that he was in some room or community center named after Goldwater and I thought, even Goldwater would be horrified by this pack of nimrods.
I used to drink.
A lot.
I am 57 years old and have never lived through dumber times than these. I wish that were snark, but it's not.
Booze it is!
Its like, pin the tail on the biggest racist, my money's on Rick Perry.
Don't y'all worry your pretty, little heads. Sheriff Joe will be in federal prison soon enough. You know, some dude once said that the moral arc of justice is long, but it bends towards justice. This fool's about to be struck by some righteous arc lightning.
Please. Not with Eric Holder in charge of Justice.
I have a kind of sick feeling that we are going to be expected to "look ahead, not behind" again.
I hope he's on the toilet when it happens.
In a Taco Bell.
Joe has already made it further along than most. At least he's actually under formal federal investigation. That's further than most of this shit gets. They'll find something, if even they back off the most damning charges when the time comes.
I'd just be happy to see him resign sans charges, 'cause really, he's horrible enough that I'd just be glad to see him gone from his position.
Meh. If anything comes of it, Maricopa SO will have some mandatory sensitivity training and will promise to not pick on the browns ever again. Joe won't be forced out because of it. Hell, he's using it to raise campaign cash! Unlike Daryl Gates over in LA, he's elected to office, and the mouth-breathers love him.
If he gets charged with anything, that changes things, yes, even in Maricopa.
Hopefully,, he gets a cellmate named Bubba, a 6'6" mucle bound black man with a 18" cock, and likes "getting it" every night. Also right before breakfast every day, he wants a rusty trombone to start the day off right. Now that's what I call poetic justice. For bonus points, his bunkmate will stuff a pair of severly soiled tighty whitie underwear in Joe's Piehole to keep the noise down. My worry however, is that Joe would fall in love and want to get prison married.
Make that mucle bound black man a giant Mexican named Pepe, and make the "rusty trombone" a Dirty Sanchez, and I completely agree. lol
6 of one, half a dozon of the other, it all works for me!
The drooling zombie mob will not be sated until the RNC figures out how to rehabilitated David Duke enough make him a GOP king-maker. After that, their next project is getting Nancy Reagan to channel to soul of Hitler to ask him policy positions and political strategy.
Arpaio sounds kinda Mexikan to me…
You just know some low-time Zeta is sitting in bed before he nods off and thinking, "Man, the vatos would really take me seriously if I brought that fucker Joe's head back to camp."
Just saying.
Joe could be like the reverse of Joaquin Murietta.
Indeed, the REAL reverse!
I love polka music, especially when it's corridos de narcos, mi amigo.
Los mejores de los mejores, compa. Now we just need one titled,
"El Vato Mato el Pinche Joe."
Are you sure Shurf Joe isn't with the Zetas?
Camps….hummm. There's just something so…I don't know…Republican, about that idea. Yep, if you're a Teapublican, you just MUST have this guy's endorsement! Or you fail. And we hate losers. But please let him endorse Michelle, because that would be AWESOME!
Tent City is awesome –are you kidding me? Just don't try to put two shitty 'mattresses' on top of each other on your bunk–that's called a Cadillac, and someone will notice rather quickly and promptly tell you to dismantle it.
Sheriff Joe: Kingmaker or Cocksucker? We report. You decide.
And all the turds in the bowl scream, "Pick Me! Pick Me!"
Joe (R-Piehole)/Rick (R-Asshole)/2012
This is a fucking nightmare. PLEASE, someone, wake me up!
It's the heat makes em like that. The fix is to turn off the Colorado River.
You mean that arroyo/trickle before it gets to Messico?
Give me a day's warning before ya do that, 'kay? I won't tell anybody else.
Each and every one of these creepy, sick bastards who were up on the stage the other night would kiss the shrivled, wrinkled hiney of Sheriff Joe Arpaio in a Macy's storefront window at high noon in downtown Phoenix in order to be President. What makes this unusual is that all of them would enjoy it, too.
They only want Sheriff Joe as a date to the JUNIOR prom in Tampa Bay next summer. As soon as one of them gets the nomination, s/he will dump Joe with a louder thud than Tony Romo made when he dumped Jessica Simpson. The day after the convention the nominee be trolling for the Latino vote and the sycophants from Mesa, Gilbert, Florence, and Joe's other fan clubs will just be expected to shut up and pull the lever, as instructed by Head Cheerleader Jan Brewer.
Of course, as His Royal Highness the Cult of Reagan said, thou shalt not attack another Conservative.
…and five people showed up to protest. Thanks, Arizona!
And for our anti gay agenda we will seek endorsements from Fred Phelps (Westboro Baptist Church) and Scott Lively (American Family Association) proponents of "Kill the Gays Bill".
Don't give it up cheap, Joe. You could get the veep spot out of this.
Even though, as the son of immigrants, he was one. But, hey, they were European immigrants — that's so much more acceptable.
It's called over compensating.
Is Charles Manson endorsing anybody?
Paul Mc Cartney?
I see the Republican Party actively and openly promoting hate and racism and, shockingly, people accept that and go with it. They have come to the conclusion that they can be as mean-spirited, childish, racist, intransigent and stupid as they want and people will go with that. What the fuck is happening to this country? How is it possible that people will openly support hate, stupidity and racism and vote for it?
What the fuck happened to these people? Is it too much high-fructose corn syrup? Is it too little self-esteem? I'm fucking baffled and saddened.
For years I made an effort to see people out in the street, at airports, grocery stores; everywhere as "my fellow Americans" and, as a by-the-book liberal, I tried very hard to feel empathy and be courteous and helpful with all of them.
Now, when I see a 300-pound mastodon loading up on soda and potato chips at Walmart, all I can think of is "this motherfucker watches Fox News… I should throw something in front of him to make his sorry ass trip to the fucking floor". Losing hope is sad indeed.
There is no shame in no longer having human empathy for those who have willingly given up their humanity. Make them trip. Laugh at their fat. Key their cars. Take your foot off the gas and tap your brakes when they tailgate you. Ruin their happiness when they try to walk over the rest of us with their selfishness. Gandhi's methods only work when those you are fighting share empathy. The teasacks do not have that. Fight them.
So in other words we should BECOME them? I'd rather work toward a law that would put their children into effective classrooms 350 days a year and tax them properly to pay for it.
We'd have to learn to hate people based on their personal religious choices and racial/ethnic backgrounds to become them. We won't become them just for standing up in anger against theocrats or racists.
We'd have to learn to hate sexual choices between adults to become them. We won't become them just for standing up in anger against bigots.
We'd have to learn that our fellow countrymen are not worth saving in time of need, and that the rich deserve to crush the poor for a chuckle. We won't become them by standing up against plutocracy and ignorance.
No law will tax them, their party's bullies and our party's cowards will see to that. Their children will never learn to be good humans in public schools, because the public schools are hamstrung by the lack of funding and onerous antiintellectual rules. Any teaching of real morality is crushed the moment they get home and the Fox News their parents spew washes over them. And if we tried to get their kids to learn not to be horrid morlocks, they will get the local schools bankrupted with vouchers they will use to school their kids in hate.
So fuck it, we won't become em,but they will never change.
As for the "mastodons" who divorce themselves from humanity — it's no excuse, but most of them don't believe they are hating for hate's sake. Rather they believe their abusive, vile, and corrupt thoughts and actions are in support of their own kind because usurpers are taking away what should rightfully be theirs (as White Americans, i.e. the REAL Amurricans). Disregarding, of course, the truth that most African-Americans' ancestors, as well as the kin of the native peoples, were in this country LONG before their families arrived from White Man's Homeland (which in their wisdom the also disdain). But they are often low-IQ; lacking decent education; drunk on sugar, booze, mindless TV, nicotine, prescription drugs, and god knows what else; and led to their "ideas" by far "smarter" people (Rove, Murdoch, et al.) who are tools of those who have a vested financial interested in the United States as Divided States.
It worked for Hitler.
But I'm sure you know all that. What can reverse this problem? Education, certainly. The cooperation of churches (hard to get since so many of THEM are led by white supremacists, sexists, and/or the descendants of space aliens), a Supreme Court not composed of tools of the rich, a Congress not in the hands of corporations, corporations not being allowed to become uber-corporations, an FCC with teeth and television networks that are about something besides making money, etc., etc. The chances of those things happening also seem hopeless in my mind. So I, too, believe we're fucked.
They are real easy to identify, besides the 300 lbs (@ 5.5" tall). they all wear comoflauge t-shits 5XXXXX large, wear baseball hats that say somethig stupid like "instant asshole, just add alcohol" (like the alcohol is really necessary). Their trucks always seem to sport the dixie flag & truck nutz, and they are blasting the most obnoxious David Allen Coe songs. Those are the real murkans, Sarah Palin talks about!
He's considering endorsing Bachmann? Why not just endorse a fucking three-legged cat. At least they're fun to watch.
Sheriff Crapaho Is the go-to guy if you are Republican candidate trying to prove your bona fides as a brainless racist and ridiculous idiot. Without proving your worthiness in this area, the nomination is not possible.
I can barely stand reading about Sheriff Joe R. Blowhard; imagine actually having to talk to the asshole. I would rather shit a wildcat.
The GOP is of course known generally as the “pro-genocide party” when it comes to everyone but fetuses.
Fixed.
If for no other reason other that this I will never vote for a Republican ever. It would be a slap in the face to my Latino heritage.
Joe "the Plumber" Arpaio
That had to be fun. So…. which one do you want for your next birthday!
Also makes staking difficult, at least without a plastic bag.
Here in the Valley of Silicon, "VC" stands for "Venture Capitalist."
It's taken this child of the Vietnam era years to get used to that.
Oh she's adorable …….I'm thinking one of those Sam Peckinpah 'dime' loads might be appropriate?
Caligula.
Wonder Warthog! Man, that's a blast from the past. Jeez, it's like dusting and sneezing. "Makes my cooze ooze."
Viet Cong…Venture Capitalist…………….same thing.
Construction's a little tortured, dood, what with calling the office and checking schedules and whatnot. How about just saying that Giffords needs Joe's endorsement like she needs a hole in the head? Simpler, cleaner, to the point.
Still, I upfisted you for being unapologeticly offensive.
Yes, yes, but as REPORTED by Seneca?
(Gesh. Some people.)
That is REALLY thoughtless, insulting and stupid thing to say.
Even at his worst — and his worst could be pretty bad — Victor Charles had some degree of honor.
Well, okay., at least class.
Well, okay, self-sacrifice.
Whatever.
That's not "tortured construction,." you Communist Pinko Liberal SKum.
It's more like one of those caesura thingies.
Or maybe I mean misdirection? Or Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision?
Hey, that reminds me!: What's the secret of comed . . . TIMING!!!!!!
"Keep the change . . . Goose BITOCH!"
Actually, that dime thing is a myth, "Pat Garrett & Billie the Kid" notwithstanding. You're better off with OO buckshot, because the ballistics are better. Dimes — flat, thin cylinders — are not aerodynamically stable, and don't have much mass/inertia. So the range dropoff is significant.
Also, you're risking a barrel explosion if there is a blockage. And in the confusion, that little Goose Girl and her two honking homies might get away.
That's what Marcus said to Joe, too.
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