math isn't fair

Keith Olbermann Is Angry (Of Course) At Glenn Beck’s Teevee Thing

Glenn Beck likes to be “relevant,” so he is probably thrilled that he won Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Persons” game yesterday. He did this by having his own teevee channel called “GBTV” which robs the old and paranoid of their retirement funds, through hypnosis and chalkboards, probably. We can’t say for sure because who would pay for such a thing? Keith Olbermann named Glenn Beck the Worst Person because of GBTV’s number of subscribers, except unfortunately, this number is higher than the number of people who watch Keith Olbermann shout at them, for free.

In his patented “Worst Persons” segment Monday night, Countdown‘s Keith Olbermann reserved the top spot for ex-Fox News superstar Glenn Beck, whose GBTV show debuted last night with 230,000 subscribers. Rather than jump on anything crazy that Beck said,though (there must have been something), Olbermann went after Beck over the size of his audience, which, on day one, far exceeds the audience that Olbermann has taken months to build at CurrentTV.

Olbermann cites a Wall St. Journal article that pegs the subscriber count at 230k, then does his own calculations of Beck’s business prospects. “At five bucks a month, that’s a total income of a little under $14 million a year. Beck is claiming income of $20 million.”

He estimates production costs for Beck’s show at an elastic $10-17 million.

He was able to identify a metric at which he was beating Beck. “Beck premiered today having lost 90% of the audience he had at Fox,” Olbermann said, realizing, “Wait, so why am I angry at him?”

Well, 230,000 is kind of small considering the rapid multiplication of Crazy in this country. But as we know, there is also a lot of Poors, so the Poor AND Crazy are out of luck, which, ha ha, is a LOT of people, because of Math. [Mediaite]

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Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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66 comments

    1. Jukesgrrl

      And it's never changed anything, so a sane person would have given up by now.

      I almost always agree with Keith, but his delivery methods are unusually messed up.

  1. Barb

    Bad Keith! Go to my room!
    Sorry, Keith asked for twisted religious titles to use for Glenn Beck and he used my tweet on his show "The Dali Drama" and now I have to love him forever. (or at least until the restraining order is actually served to me)

    1. JustPixelz

      Congratulations on your expanding fame. I don't get Current so I'll have to wait for the Lifetime movie about you. "Courage to Snark: The Barb (picture of kitten) Story"

  2. nounverb911

    "Well, 230,000 is kind of small considering the rapid multiplication of Crazy"
    230K is probably a lot more than Countdown is getting now.

  3. noodlesalad

    Would anyone like to volunteer to be my media rival? We could generate press, page views, and ultimately a number of revenue streams by trading childish barbs at each other over a variety of media platforms. This would be done for the benefit of the country, of course.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      You are the worst commentor I have ever seen. What a lame name and a worse avatar. Get a life and stick to Brightfart, you basement dwelling momma's boy.

      1. noodlesalad

        Clearly, the socialist education system has failed you. The nanny state cannot create, it can only destroy, and here we see the culture of death and thriving like such as the Radiotherapy. When will liberals learn to love the freedoms that the fathers of this great country sacrificed their children and their goats and other things for.

        1. Radiotherapy®

          Hey, I graduated Phi Beta Goddam Kappa from that socialist education system. That's right, a land-grant university with a robust agricultural department. Goats? James Thurber is a noted alumni adored by KO.
          THE Ohio State University also has "the James." The cancer center where you'll receive the cutting edge, life-saving treatment when you get your small cell carcinoma. Cone beams, linear accelerators, medical physicists, computer experts, and dosimetrists. The honey badger Radiotherapy doesn't give a shit.
          I've thrown down the gauntlet!!1!

          1. noodlesalad

            Another elitist graduate from an elitist "STATE" University with its death panels and tattooed corrupt athletes and ivory tower LIBRUL values which have put the heartland and the families that we love at risk from Nazi Communist anti-Faith doctrines of one world government and such as the cancer death lasers.

          2. noodlesalad

            It's one part Ms. South Carolina, one part Ms. Wasilla, and three parts Whiskey. Shaken, frozen, cut into a fine powder, and crammed in my ears.

          3. ShaveTheWhales

            Hey, neither of you two crypto-farcists has yet called for the immediate crucifixion of Ben Bernancke, so you are both clearly in the pocket of Big Fed, and want to see the black helicopters of the euro-zone hovering over the earthquake-crumpled Washington soft-on while the planet Nibiru does the cha-cha with the moon.

            Also, radio, the land grant university where I got my Phi Bet beat the snot out of the one where you got yours last year, so there, for the troops, also. Too.

          4. Radiotherapy®

            Hey, we can have a three way here…first, I did not get my Phi Beta Key "last year" as your misplaced modifier implies. And unlike you Palin panty sniffers, I don't quit. Ben Bernanke, that "inflationary," Harvard-educated, jooish, Republican has got to go.
            And it's not the black helicopters you should be worried about, it's the black Suburbans in your driveway.

    2. Barb

      I've thought long and hard for an insult that would fit this occasion.
      You are on "Neilist_Returns" friend's list on Facebook. Game, set, match. I win!

      1. PuckStopsHere

        OK, I think that now, at long last, lines have been crossed and things have been said for which there are no "take-backs". It's one thing to call someone a Santorum-filled sack, but "Neilist_Returns" friends list? Too far.

        1. Barb

          I apologize, PuckStopsHere. I am going to go and reflect upon my bad behavior and think about how I can improve myself.

          (small voice) THEY started it!

    3. baconzgood

      BEST THREAD….EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Win of the week you guys! Have a beer, no make that a boiler-maker, on Baconz.

  4. Troubledog

    Keith Olbermann is brimming with unwarranted self-importance. Enjoy your Summer's Eve product placement deal, Keith. Finally you can bring your work home with you.

    What a maroon. Keep flailing, Keith. There must be some way to get those lonely girls to put down their Kindles for a half hour. Maybe more yelling and name calling.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      That was exactly my first thought – hey, what does Glenn have against Lesbians? Why's he all leaving them out? I thought dudes LOOOOVED lesbians.

  5. flamingpdog

    I don't know which story is more exciting, this one or the one where Tim Pawlenty has agreed to be on Mitt Romney's … *KLUNK* … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  6. BarackMyWorld

    I'd like Olbermann a lot better if he'd stop sinking to the other side's level of name calling and unwarranted righteous indignation.

  7. smokefilleddoommate

    I heart Current TV. And Al Gore. And to think I wrote the PMRC when I was fifteen in hopes of getting that Tipper bitch to lay off my DK records… (How does "love" work, exactly?)

    I got a response, too– My argument was basically 'what's more damaging, the lyrics "the stars and stripes of corruption, let's bring it all down" or "I want your sex"? The response was "well, what about "Too Drunk to Fuck"?" Typical conservative retort. I think my mom actually got mad at the salty language used by the PMRC in the response letter.. Also, I'm drunk. does that make sense?

    1. JustPixelz

      I didn't quite follow everything between "heart" and "I'm drunk". But don't go by me. I just got a HPV injections and now have the brain power of a Palin.

    2. LesBontemps

      Also, I'm drunk. does that make sense?

      Are you too drunk to fuck?

      Also, love comes in spurts, according to R. Hell.

      1. smokefilleddoommate

        Meh.. In thinking about Al Gore, I can't help but think of Tipper and her stupid warning label crusade in the late 80's. I was trying to justify my rant about the PMRC, I guess. Has nothing to do with fucking or Olbermann, but rather a tangential comment due to inebriation. They're divorced anyway, so who gives a shit.

        (Does that make sense? 'cause I'm drunk again.)

    1. V572 T-Blow

      Or the best "The Onion" headline ever. C'mon — nobody but a porn star (or a teevee weatherman) could be named "Brett Cummins."

      Anyway, Weiner already, uh, "blew" it.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Film mash-up: John Cusack & Craig Robinson reprise the Andrew Mc Carthy & Jonthan Silverman roles. Rob Corddry shows his "range" playing the corpse.

    1. V572 T-Blow

      Off to the lonely planet where Howard Stern lives. As Cat Stevens put it in the unpublished version of "Longer Boats":

      ♪♫Lift your eyes up, look around!
      You might see them if they're looking down
      From some lonely asteroid
      Or from the silent void…
      They are dead, but not destroyed♪♬

  8. baconzgood

    REALLY!!!! They are both on the internet. I can be on the internet and spout nonsense too. In fact, I can be slightly amusing doing it! Wait a sec….I do that everyday instead of working on Wonkette.

  9. Redhead

    “At five bucks a month, that’s a total income of a little under $14 million a year. Beck is claiming income of $20 million.”

    He estimates production costs for Beck’s show at an elastic $10-17 million."

    How great would it be if Beckers was LOSING $3 million a year to put on his freak show?

  10. ttommyunger

    Keith, crafty fear-mongering will always trump self-rightious indignation; at least in 'Merika. That is, by the way, why I don't watch either of them; does that make me a Taliban Mooslum?

  11. KeepFnThatChicken

    Just so we know what we're talking about, 230,000 subscribers does not mean they're actually viewing GBTV. They're just paying for it.

    Similarly, you may drive by gigantic churches and health clubs, where the same phenomenon exists. We're religiously stupid and fatter than ever.

  12. DahBoner

    "Beck premiered today having lost 90% of the audience he had at Fox"

    Even though Fear Sells, Beck lost 90% of his audience because either they are too old and feebleminded to notice he's gone or they're too fucking afraid to change the channel…

Comments are closed.