• May 27, 2012

Steve King Invites Obama’s Drunk Uncle To Party With Congress

by Blair Burke  8:52 pm September 13, 2011


The entire illegal Kenyan Obama family is just running around the U.S. drunk as sailors, or maybe Somali pirates, because they are African. The rest of us might be willing to sit back and watch this Once Great Nation collapse because of it, but not Iowa-Approved Grim Reaper Steve King, who would like to bring Obama’s drunk uncle before Congress, maybe so everyone can share hilarious drunk driving stories. Here he is, like that muppet who lives in a trash can, cackling about how awful everything is, and why it is Obama’s uncle’s fault.

Just in case you (wisely) prefer to bypass the video:

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) wants to bring President Obama’s uncle, Onyango Obama, before Congress to testify on whether he received preferential treatment after he was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol.

He also took a shot at Obama’s aunt, who was granted asylum in the country by a Republican-appointed immigration judge because her immigration status was leaked just ahead of the 2008 presidential election.

“I watched as President Obama’s aunt, Zeituni Onyango, also evaded [Immigration and Customs Enforcement],” King said. “The sympathy, the bleeding heart, of [Department of Homeland Security Director] Janet Napolitano decided to use an administrative authority to grant President Obama’s aunt asylum.”

But why waste time with these people, when the real illegal Kenyan is in the Oval Office, where he hides all the jobs? Priorities! [TPM]

{ 178 comments }

Come here a minute September 13, 2011 at 8:56 pm

It would take one hundred drunk-driving Republican state legislators to equal the damage done to this great country by this Kenyan Muslin uncle person. So we're even.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Um … not to be difficult, or anything, but there's WAY more than 100 Republican state legislators who have been arrested for drunk driving. So, do we need to fly in a few hordes of drunk Kenyan Muslims, or what?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 1:37 am

We can just turn Onyango loose on the streets again, until he evens the score. The risk is that he kills a WHITE person, which as you can imagine would be the worst thing to happen to Teabagistan since 9/11.

Personally, I favor letting the GOPtards run up the score, just so long as someone keeps score in a hignly public manner.

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 2:04 am

I see a niche that just begs to be filled.

Mort_Sinclair September 13, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Steve King with his raging obsession with black people in positions of authority is clearly sublimating his need to experience black people in positions of authority.

littlebigdaddy September 13, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Yeah, he needs one.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I wish Barry would just walk up to Steve King, grab his ears, pull his head backwards and sit on his face. You know Li'l Stevie wants that so bad he can hardly keep from drooling.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I would pay some, perhaps all, money to see this.

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 12:14 am

I'll get right on it, dood.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I bet there are a few large, muscular black persons in our maximum security prison system that would love the play the part of a black person in authority to Steve King. Let's hope it happens, and happens as part of a long-term Steve King residency at the Ben Dover House of Corrections.

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 12:15 am

I do not like the sound of this penal colony very much. (Tightens asshole)

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 1:39 am

What Steve King needs is a penile colony.
Of selected bacilli and fungi.

memzilla September 13, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Iowa's biggest exports are pigs and corn… and Rep. King represents both well.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 1:41 am

If Iowa hadn't given pigs and corn the vote, he'd never have gotten elected.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:29 am

Porcine libel!

rocktonsam September 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm

King is aware the uncle is black,right?

not that Dewey September 13, 2011 at 9:59 pm

To Rep King, any treatment would constitute preferential treatment, under those conditions.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 1:49 am

King is salivating at the thought of dragging a poorly-spoken, ill-educated black African before Congress.
I'm hoping the guy turns out to be Oxford-educated with a 130 IQ. Zero chance, I know, but it would be hilarious if he was able to slice and dice this moronic teabagger. Obama could raise $50 million overnight by selling video clips.

snoopyfan2010 September 14, 2011 at 8:31 am

Uh, even a poorly-spoken, ill-educated black African (you say that like it's a bad thing) can slice and dice THIS guy.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 10:56 am

It's a bad thing in King's world. But yeah, King makes your average Zimbabwean goat herder look like the next Einstein.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:31 am

I don't know, man. "Onyango" sounds a little Asian to me…

horsedreamer_1 September 14, 2011 at 8:21 am
Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 10:56 am

Sounds like a Pokemon character.

MistaEko September 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm

I'll see your Uncle Obama and raise you a Laura Bush.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I b'leev the pictures of the two young, ahem, ladies of that family changing into their bikinis and revealing plenty about Bush thereby, are still available on the InnerToobz.

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 1:09 am

Bush Bush bush libel!

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 1:14 am

"Libel" is about as close as I want to get to the Bush Bushes' bushes.

Push, push in the bush!

Lascauxcaveman September 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

Yeah, this Obama drunk-uncle is a piker until he kills someone dead with his Lincoln Town Car. I can't believe he's letting some old Republican lady beat him at this thing.

BlueStateLibel September 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Let's parade all the drunk-driving, child-support-evading Repugs through Congress and have David Vitter explain his diaper fetish before them too. And then we have a deal.

ProgressiveInga September 13, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Did Steve King take the HPV vaccine and get his mental retardation that way? Just curious.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 9:05 pm

oh steve

WHERE ARE THE FUCKING JOBS!!?!?!?!?

genxr September 13, 2011 at 9:05 pm

BRING BACK BILLY BEER!

Sue4466 September 13, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Is this the GOP jobs plan? cause I'm not seeing how this will lead to tax cuts for job creators.

lefty74 September 13, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I want a half pint of bumpy face and a pack of what I am.
(Gordon's gin and Kool filters)

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 10:20 pm

i remember smoking kools.

i remember smoking trues.

good times.

V572 T-Blow September 13, 2011 at 10:38 pm

21 great tobaccos make 20 wonderful smokes. Chesterfield Kings or GTFO.

not that Dewey September 14, 2011 at 8:12 am

No way, man. Nothing tops a Lucky. It's Toasted!

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Merits, Marlboro and Winston, still miss them. On the day of my terminal diagnosis a lot cartons to see me through to the end will be purchased along with massive quantities of red wine and vodka.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 11:02 pm

sad.

i miss smoking.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Me too. I didn't smoke for 28 years until I lit up back at the motel with some old friends after my high school reunion last fall.

Oh, wait, you're talking about tobacco.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 9:08 pm

if any of us had a 1.4 % blood alcohol level and nearly ran over a police officer…

they would probably be a republican in upstate NY or something.

Guppy06 September 13, 2011 at 10:10 pm

If I had 1.4% BAC, I'd be dead and/or Keith Richards.

Jesus hates math.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Moses did too. He left the 11th commandment (Guns for everyone!) up on the mountain because he couldn't deal with numbers that required him to use his toes.

ShaveTheWhales September 13, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Even Keith would be dead. Satan can only do so much for your liver.

And how could he even aim at a fucking cop?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 14, 2011 at 1:55 am

0.4% puts you in a coma and near death.
1.4% will nicely preserve your corpse.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:33 am

if any of us had a 1.4 % blood alcohol level…

We'd be damned near embalmed, you fucker. That's what we'd be. Got it, King?

littlebigdaddy September 13, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I am confused–is Barry's uncle an Ohio GOP representative?

Spurning Beer September 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Oh man, I want to party with Steve King. In Harlem.

Limeylizzie September 13, 2011 at 9:27 pm

I can be his date, we can walk up Malcolm X together, it'll be fun.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Multiple upthumbs, Spurning. You have been on a roll lately, dude.

Lascauxcaveman September 14, 2011 at 1:38 am

But chain Lizzie to the fridge. I don't want to see her reported as collateral damage.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:35 am

Bring him to Detroit. I'd gladly drop him off on Mack Avenue at 2 AM and see if he made it back downtown…

horsedreamer_1 September 14, 2011 at 8:23 am

He'd lose himself his life, for sure.

noodlesalad September 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

All that special treatment that blacks get while driving – extra safety checkups from the police for things like tail lights that might be dimmer than usual, being in the wrong neighborhood, the list goes on and on. When will these communist privileges end?

Chillwaver September 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Children of the Corn sucked, Steve.

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Well Steve is a corn hole.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm

And he needz to be shucked.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:37 am

Which one?

I'm fishing, here…

the_problem_child September 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm

C'mon. He just wants to ask about the birf certificate before the guy is deported outside his jurisdiction.

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2011 at 9:21 pm

He should join M.A.D.D.

Motherfuckers against drunk drivers

mausgeo September 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I'm a card carrying member of D.A.M.M.

Drunks Against Mad Mothers

Doktor Zoom September 13, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Nigras got funny names and are all on welfare. Also, they all have all the advantages, with their free TVs and Cadillacs, I tell you what.

emmelemm September 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Refrigerators and microwaves!!

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Nails and cellphones. (These were the latest complaints I saw in the Vegas paper the other day_).

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:38 am

And, their children are spoiled rotten, what with WalMart back-to-school day sales and fancy meals at the McDonalds and the Buger King and whatnot. What? Are they too good for the Salvation Army bins and for foraging?

Take me back to the good ole days, the halcyon white people days of yore. You know, when white men had all of the power instead of just most of the power. Gimmie that ole time religion, that ole time religion of hate when people knew their place. Hallelujah!

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Slow day in the Congress, eh Steve? No? You say you're a ridiculous asshole wasting the precious little time we have to save our country? Oh, okay.

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2011 at 9:25 pm

"Fuck that jobs bill, Jim Lehrer! We have a Presidential illegal allowing another illegal to drive illegally. and they both love Allah."

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Save it from drunk Kenyan muslims I bet.

zhubajie September 14, 2011 at 8:06 am

He's probably just killing time till the Rapture saves him.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 9:26 pm

does anyone else think it might be ok if we handled the aunt and uncle of the president of the united states with special treatment or something?

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Are they white at least?

BlueStateLibel September 13, 2011 at 9:52 pm

We give war criminals special treatment when they are president or vice president, you can even avoid jail time when you commit massive fraud if you're a mortgage or Wall Street CEO, so why not?

glamourdammerung September 13, 2011 at 10:28 pm

In terms of deportations, I am baffled that someone would suggest we not give them preferential treatment especially with our never-ending "War on Terror".

Chet Kincaid September 13, 2011 at 11:52 pm

The white ones? You betcha!

BarackMyWorld September 13, 2011 at 9:29 pm

And yet the Bush Family, which is just one prolonged example of people using their family connections for preferential treatment, never got so much as a raised eye-brow from Rep. King.

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 10:55 pm
glamourdammerung September 13, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Well, that was different.

/sighs

Mumbletypeg September 13, 2011 at 9:30 pm

From an earlier one of his verbal diahrrea-tribes:

"I have made this argument for a long time now that I am in the business of seeking to embarrass the administration into enforcing the law…"

Can't be too hard to beat him at his own game. There's bound to be a closely guarded, drunk driving convicted crony on record or an "illicit" connection w/ an illegal immigrant nanny/ service — he just keeps those in the know sworn to secrecy on a stack of his cornhusk-bound bibles.

donner_froh September 13, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Onyango Obama is a visitor to our shores and therefore shouldn't be expected to know all the nuances of drunken driving that are second nature to those raised here.

A few hints:
1. Become a Republican member of the legislature of a midwestern state;
2. Drive to a hotel with a stripper or if a stripper isn't available then,
3. A rent boy found on Craiglist;
4. Make sure you are white.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Just keep it to .03 and small talk about baseball.

Right to the edge, but not over.

MrFizzy September 14, 2011 at 10:02 am

You forgot running stop signs at 80 mph, killing someone, then claiming you'll now stop the behavior if they let you off.

Chichikovovich September 14, 2011 at 10:19 am

To be fair, according to the police report, LB was stone cold sober when she ran that stop sign and killed that guy. And a white person killing someone while recklessly driving is much less awful and horrible than some undocumented black guy driving drunk though harming no-one.

GuanoFaucet September 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Even Hitler thinks Steve King is an evil asshole.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:37 pm

That makes Steve King feel bad. He has lots of respect for Hitler, and wants to be thought well of by him.

JustPixelz September 14, 2011 at 7:19 am

Nah. Hitler led Germany into massive war and genocide, killing millions. Steve King is just a loudmouth asshole. But my actual asshole is ashamed to be associated with him.

DashboardBuddha September 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Well…this will create many new jobs.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

it will certainly create a snow job.

arihaya September 14, 2011 at 5:22 am

yes, jobs for Pam Geller, Orly Taitz, Jerome Corsi and all of those snake oil vendors in World Nut Daily

hollywooddood September 13, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Steve, don't you have better things to do like worrying about gay weddings?

glamourdammerung September 13, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Maybe they should investigate Steve King's meddling with Iowa's gay marriage law? Or why exactly he publicly defends lobbyists (since the money to lobby in those Iowa judge elections came from somewhere)? Or why he feels the need to insist police violate the law and racially profile folks? Or how he "forgot" that whole part of the 14th Amendment about the public debt? The list could go on and on, if only Democrats were not trying to be the bigger people all the time.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I'm completely down with being the smaller, meaner people. Who's with me?

Lascauxcaveman September 14, 2011 at 1:49 am

Haven't been there, yet. But you should fer sure talk to my wife.

Nothingisamiss September 14, 2011 at 8:15 am

I'm pretty much there, DBB.

Redhead September 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

I misread the title in my RSS feed and thought it referred to Stephen King, a reference perhaps to his next tv miniseries. It would make about as much sense as this crap from Steven King.

not that Dewey September 13, 2011 at 10:02 pm

I want to see the breath certificate.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Onyango's? Because I have a feeling Steve King's breath would curdle milk.

johnnyzhivago September 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Obama's hiding all America's jobs in the white House basement next to all of Iraq's WMD's…

DerrickWildcat September 13, 2011 at 10:09 pm

They have diplomatic immunity so they can get drunker than 10 Indians and drive around all they want.

ttommyunger September 13, 2011 at 10:14 pm

King gets busted for DUI, gay sex, drugs (take your pick) in 3-2-1……

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm

You know, they never get busted for drugs. Every other kind of vice or abnormality or simple closet behavior imaginable, but never drugs.

I'm kind of amazed by that. Nancy Reagan really did a number on these people.

ttommyunger September 13, 2011 at 10:26 pm

King is special, just ask him.

ShaveTheWhales September 14, 2011 at 12:07 am

There are, really, quite a few people who are more evil than Steve King — mostly because they've worked their way into positions where they can do more harm to more people — but there are very few who are more obnoxious.

At 63, I have no desire to spend the rest of my life in prison, and I'm basically not violence-first anyhow, so I'm pretty sure I could stand to be in proximity to many of the assholes that have worked to destroy America, and still control myself. But if I ever found myself within a couple of strides of Steve Fucking King, I believe I would have to run up and coldcock him, just to disturb that vacant stare.

ttommyunger September 14, 2011 at 6:11 am

I would make your Bail, PROMISE!

Fare la Volpe September 14, 2011 at 8:22 am

Ted Haggard did love his meth — especially when he could snort it off a rentboy's ass.

KenLayIsAlive September 14, 2011 at 8:48 am

Ah, good point! I forgot about that. And Rush and his Oxycontin.

not that Dewey September 13, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Steve King was found to have a Braindead Asshole Content of over 0.08, and is therefore guilty of Dickhead White Ignoramus.

mavenmaven September 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

GOP whitey wants to see the n____ do da softshoe in front of congress

Guppy06 September 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm

The cop that was nearly hit was unionized. King wants Onyango to come to Congress to receive a medal.

iburl September 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm

KKKing A-hole. It is the one job of congress to defeat the sochalist islamo-black president by any means necessary. It's in the Holy Iowa Cornstitution.

Fare la Volpe September 14, 2011 at 8:24 am

Article 1. The state government shall never infringe upon the rights of Almighty Corn.

Article 2. Negroes don't count.

__kth__ September 14, 2011 at 9:02 am

If I had to pick the Congressman likeliest to have lost his virginity to a non-primate, it would be King over all the other contenders ("You Lie", Gohmer, Barton, et al).

V572 T-Blow September 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Can't really credit Rep King's assertion that he has ever "read" a book, despite his deep knowledge of "the fury of the law," whatever the fuck that may mean.

It's obvious but I have to point out that democracy, as practiced in the United States of America, has apparently led to the election of a member of Congress, charged with writing law, who thinks the law is "furious." Not measured, thoughtful, equable, fair, no, none of those. Goddammit.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 10:56 pm

whoahhh for a second i thought you said 'furry'.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 11:01 pm

That's Congressman Wu's committee.

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Tigger! I said Tigger!

V572 T-Blow September 13, 2011 at 11:21 pm

The Furry of the Law! Whoa, indeed!

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 12:00 am

Whoahh there, I loved Fury when it was on the TeeVee. I bet Steve King loved it even more, seeing as how he has made a career of emulating Fury's rear end.

GunToting[Redacted] September 14, 2011 at 9:53 am

The Sound and the Furry?

Negropolis September 13, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I feel so deflated, today. It's just bad news, and then nasty, vitriolic news, and then back to bad news. Even the good stuff we're hearing these days is so few and far between it seems almost fleeting. It feels like we're not formally just waiting for the end to come.

I can't give Steve much of my attention. Not today, Mr. King; not today. There is just too much else going on.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Aw shit man. Don't let these fuckers get you down. Remember that this all ends with their heads on pikes… eventually.

LesBontemps September 14, 2011 at 12:40 am

A lovely thought, I hope I live to see it, but still a lovely, lovely mental image nonetheless. Sweet dreams indeed!

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 6:53 am

Imagine gale-force winds blowing bullshit against the side of your house for months straight with but a few interruptions.

Yesterday, the GOP won a seat in fucking Brooklyn and held a Las Vegas seat. If we can't keep a fucking seat in Brooklyn, I don't know what to think. I dont' care how many Orthodox Jews lived in it, Weiner held that seat and he should still be in Congress.

Nothingisamiss September 14, 2011 at 8:21 am

Amen, Negropolis. I loved that Weiner. And here it is today, when I'll overhear the constant Fux news all around me ( at work) telling me how evil the Kenyan usurper is, what with his wild liberal policies that have apparently been enacted and have ruined this once great country.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 10:25 pm

It's becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Limeylizzie September 14, 2011 at 8:39 am

The Orthodox Jew lost to a Catholic! I just have a really, really bad feeling about next year's elections.

horsedreamer_1 September 14, 2011 at 10:01 am

The Democrats held Murtha's seat in May '10, only months before Pennsylvania turned deep red, gubernatorially, & sent whackier-than-Santorum Toomey to Senate.

The results of a special election are not necessarily predictive of the regular cycle's results.

Plus, it seems New Yorkers tend to punish the party when scandal-ridden individuals leave. Chris Lee (R) resigned, & his seat turned Dem. The other special election in NY (23rd district) also flipped.

KenLayIsAlive September 14, 2011 at 8:54 am

Yeah, but same problem in Brooklyn/Queens as in the rest of the country. The Democratic leader, Crowley, is a dipshit who shows more interest in nepotism and his parochial concerns than actually doing the right thing for his constituents and the country. It's amazing the low character of the people who rise to power in politics. It's a complete mystery to me.

Weiner should still be in congress, but that's not how we play the poopy diaper game, is it… fucking hell.

BZ1 September 13, 2011 at 11:00 pm

I'm sure there is a block of wood smarter than Steve King.

imissopus September 14, 2011 at 12:35 am

Ever seen a block of wood run for Congress? There's your answer.

smokefilleddoommate September 14, 2011 at 2:31 am

The block of wood will be giving a stump speech next week.

JustPixelz September 14, 2011 at 7:20 am

On the stump of the tree from which it was made. oh the irony, the delicious irony.

smokefilleddoommate September 16, 2011 at 4:48 am

Don't evoke the Giving Tree, please. I seriously will cry. And no Charlotte's Web, either. What's wrong with you?!!!

EatsBabyDingos September 13, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Ich binein Numnutz.

subsum September 13, 2011 at 11:01 pm

I wish someone would have come and hit this motherfucker with a baseball bat right on the head while on camera. Too bad nobody did.

Shit. This is Fox Motherfuckin' News… what the fuck.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Know what? Reading about these crazy, death loving dimwits of Teabagger Nation just minutes after reading Weiner's seat may well go to a Republican has me so furious, frustrated and depressed I feel like shooting Teabaggers right in nuts. With a gun! And whack the women over the heads with baseball bats.

I don't care what anyone says about Ed Schultz, even the Heroes of the Wonkette Nation (just typing that turned my frown upside down) diss him, but you know what else? I'm on their team now. That sumbitch was in Wisconsin when no one else was paying attention and now he's broadcasting from Ohio.

The last of us who are still sane need to quit pissing and moaning about our own, get on the same team Let's link arms and march right to the halls of power . . . but not sing. Those protest songs sucked in the 60s and they're still sucking today.

PuckStopsHere September 14, 2011 at 12:05 am

We can still chant, though, right? WHAT DO WE WANT? THESE ASSHOLES OUT OF OFFICE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? RIGHT AFTER WE BLAZE UP THIS FAT BOY!

ShaveTheWhales September 14, 2011 at 12:40 am

1. Weiner's seat (which sounds like a double entendre, but isn't): I'm a little annoyed with Tony, for engendering this mess. Possible silver lining — it is normally a D district, there's another election in fourteen months, and an extra R in the current House is an irrelevancy.

2. Ed Schultz: I am not a Hero of Wonkette Nation, but I will admit to having mixed feelings about Ed, mostly because he is sometimes a little careless about facts (actually, sometimes for near-Republican values of careless). On the other hand, there seems to be little doubt that his heart is in the right place, and the fact that he shoots his mouth off seems to me to be a positive — the other side is fucking full of people who spout off; it's okay for us to have a couple.

3. Pissing and moaning: If you mean to say that we should not criticize, at all, our leaders and spokespeople, then I'm afraid I must disagree. However, I will certainly agree that self-control is crucial. I might make critical remarks about Ed Schultz, or even the Prez, here on Wonkette. But when I comment elsewhere in the tubes, or in meatspace, I continue to be a flaming asshole Democrat, as I have been my whole life.

4. I like singing, but most protest songs (even the good ones) did suck for actual protesting, because most of them weren't marches. Personally, I want to link arms and run down pRick while bellowing the "Battle Hymn of the Republic".

LesBontemps September 14, 2011 at 12:43 am

I can haz pitchfork and/or torch?

Sparky_McGruff September 14, 2011 at 8:18 am

I think Rage Against the Machine songs will sound wonderful as we burn down the McMansions and put their pretty little heads on pikes.

The "upper class" has forgotten the lessons of the French Revolution, if they ever learned them. You can make 1,000 times more than your secretary, your maid, your mechanic and your gardner, as long as they have the illusion that a) their lives can get better if they work hard, and b) their kids will have a better life than they have now. If that illusion dies, that hope turns to simmering rage. And your secretary, maid, mechanic and gardener have all of your dirty secrets, the keys to your house, the keys to your car (and your brake lines), and free access to your gated compound, respectively.

A few pennies pitched to the schools, food stamps, etc is needed to maintain the illusion of opportunity, and keep the game going. And, it keeps the pitchforks and torches at bay.

Nothingisamiss September 14, 2011 at 8:28 am

What I worry is, that high fructose corn syrup/video games/porn has many of the poors rendered insensible. The sweet, sweet sound of fux news lulls them to sleep if they look up from reality shows. The richz get to live it up off their backs while the rats keep pushing the levers of their own destruction. I'd like to believe there's a breaking point where people look up and realize there's something needs to be done, but like those rats, they'll keep pushing those levers until they die.

Seems a bad way to go.

jqheywood September 14, 2011 at 10:33 am

True that

Nothingisamiss September 14, 2011 at 8:30 am

As a fellow red stater, I'm with you, DBB, The media will never cover us marching, yelling and complaining, though. Facts will not be discussed, and Steve King will be the commentator on how "these people" are not "we the people."

Man, I'm fucking depressed this mornig, I see.

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 12:10 am

I wish Steve King had a bleeding heart. And I'm not talking about the Janet Napolitano kind of bleeding heart.

PsycWench September 14, 2011 at 7:55 am

to go with the bleeding brain.

KenLayIsAlive September 14, 2011 at 9:44 pm

haha. come on. he doesn't have a brain.

BobsGunt September 14, 2011 at 12:22 am

Steve King will be dealt with, just as every other member of the insurrectionist party will be..

Sharpen your pikes, My Brothers and Sisters.

horsedreamer_1 September 14, 2011 at 12:22 am

This is the new "Bill Clinton's half-sibling". How many of those were claimed? (I only remember the first two, a male in Stockton and a female in El Paso.)

not that Dewey September 14, 2011 at 1:55 am

Shorter Steve King: "Well, I'll subpoena a monkey's uncle!"

orygoon September 14, 2011 at 2:00 am

I need ear bleach after listening to that moron. But isn't it kind of cute that he pretends that he has read President Barry's book?

orygoon September 14, 2011 at 2:06 am

Oh HAHAHA, Orygoon Junior goggled at Congressman King and just said something about Gerald Ford pardoning Nixon. In context.

smokefilleddoommate September 14, 2011 at 2:13 am

Doesn't he have some backyard rats to shoot with an RPG or whatever he does in his spare time?

schvitzatura September 14, 2011 at 4:00 am

Super Bolshevik Kenyan Vodou administrative amnesty devil juice potion? Gimme that, little girl!

tvrmx September 14, 2011 at 5:05 am

Who among us does not have a drunk uncle. WHO, I implore you.

KenLayIsAlive September 14, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I am a dunk uncle.

gurukalehuru September 14, 2011 at 6:00 am

Go shoot a raccoon, asshole.

lochnessmonster September 14, 2011 at 6:33 am

And this is because politicians and celebrities NEVER ask for or get preferential treatment. RIGHT?

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 7:00 am

Kind of OT, but why does the Tea Party get a debate on CNN? Where were they to give MoveOn a televised debate? Why does a fringe group (and a dangerous one at that) get mainstreamed on CNN? Was Fox fuckin' busy or something? Why the hell are we even talking about the Tea Party?

This is bothering me to no end.

finallyhappy September 14, 2011 at 8:00 am

I agree- however, there are so many "networks"- they need trash to fill their time. I do not understand the difference between the two "debates" a week apart. The teabaggers and the teabaggers. CNN is crap as far as I am concerned- but then I think most televised and radio media and I guess print too- is crap- whole bunches of whores selling themselves to whomever will pay.

Also no question that this country is more openly racist and generally bigoted than for some time. Not that people were less racist- just knew to be ashamed to admit it. Now it seems like it is ok in some circles to openly hate blacks, latinos, gays, disabledvand make some claim about why it isn't bigotry or . Of course, in a political arena where you can say evolution isn't real, uninsured people deserve to die, vaccinations cause "retardation"- and these are the people running for the highest office in the land. How did pandering to real stupidity and hatred become acceptable? Maybe it is time for the zombie apocalypse and than extinction event for humans- untill we can reevolve.

proudgrampa September 14, 2011 at 9:37 am

Whatever you call the product of CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and broadcast news, it is NOT journalism. These organizations abdicated, a long time ago, their responsibility to just report the news.

I used to subscribe to seven newspapers a day. Not sure exactly when, but at some point I realized that I was driving myself crazy thinking that, somehow, all this information was important. I cancelled all my subscriptions and rarely watch TV news anymore. During the day, I watch Bloomberg to track stock prices but keep the sound off.

Ignorance is bliss.

horsedreamer_1 September 14, 2011 at 8:29 am

Because MoveOn is partisan, where the Tea Party is not?

(At least, I am sure that's what CNN would claim. They would swallow the TeaPers's assertions of being "pissed off moderates, thoroughly independent voters beholden to neither dysfunctional DC interest", & say the Most Trusted Name in Cable News ™ is trying to do outreach to the purple voters who should well determine the outcome of the 2012 election.)

(Sure, it would all be a lie, but who's counting? Maddow? Schultz? Certainly not the Gooper Goon Squad at Poynter Institute & PolitiFictionFact.)

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

I just kind of threw MoveOn out there but the point still stands that it's irresponsible to not only give airtime, but actually partner with, a fringe group. I don't just mean that ideologically; they literally make up less than a quarter of all voters in the nation.

Whether they are nominally non-partisan or not is irrelevant, the tea party is given an inoridnate amount of attention relative to its actual size and support.

zhubajie September 14, 2011 at 8:01 am

I'm sure you could gather some interesting gossip about Steven King's relatives, hanging around the bars and coffee shops of Storm Lake. It's not that big a place.

gurukalehuru September 14, 2011 at 8:11 am

Drunk Uncle Omar is Obama's blue dress.

And totally OT, but if you are following the Madonna v. Hydrangeas brouhaha, I weigh in on that over at http://www.gurukalehuru.com (on the side of Madonna)

not that Dewey September 14, 2011 at 8:30 am

Committee Chairman: Are you the uncle of Barack Hussein Obama?

Onyango Obama: Yes, I am.

Committee Chairman: And where was he born?

Onyango Obama: Honolulu, Hawaii

Committee Chairman: Did he at times use an alias that was known in certain circles as "Kenyan Muslin Usurper?"

Onyango Obama: Kenyan Muslin Usurper is a term that was used by his friends — one of affection, one of respect.

Congressman Uh, Mr. Chairman, I would like to verify the witness's statement. For years now a growing number of my constituents have been of Kenyan decent, and I've come to know them well. They have honored me with their support and with their friendship. Indeed, I can proudly say that some of my very best friends are Kenyan-Americans.

NorbertsRevenge September 14, 2011 at 10:48 am

Beautiful.

Barry: "Congressman King? You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for my uncle's citizenship papers, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally."

not that Dewey September 14, 2011 at 10:53 am

I challenge this committee to produce any witness or evidence against me. And if they do not, I hope they will have the decency to clear my name with the same publicity with which they now have besmirched it.

HistoriCat September 14, 2011 at 12:35 pm

I'm thinking of the courtroom scene from Bananas:
O.O. – "I have received no preferential treatment and have had no contact with President Barack Obama – but we are very proud of him."
S.K – "Can we read that back from the transcript?"
Recorder – "One phone call from my nephew the Usurper and things were fixed. Allah be praised we put those fake birth announcements in the Honolulu newspapers."
S.K. – "Thank you."

Terry September 14, 2011 at 8:38 am

King and his pals don't understand or don't care that Obama had almost no contact with his father's side of the family after his father essentially ran off. I guess it doesn't bring King donations to investigate Obama's maternal side of the family, the people who raised him. I wonder why?

GunToting[Redacted] September 14, 2011 at 10:09 am

This. My father beat feet when I was 12, and I've had virtually no contact with that side of the fam-damily since. I would imagine that whenever the GOPers drag out another relative, Barry has to be like "who the hell is that?"

Terry September 14, 2011 at 10:15 am

This is the male relative who influenced Obama, the same man who gave him those ears and chin.
http://www.barack-obama-photos.com/obama-with-gra...

jqheywood September 14, 2011 at 10:39 am

I love that photo.

Terry September 14, 2011 at 10:46 am

I do, too. Two peas in a pod.

LiveToServeYa September 14, 2011 at 9:03 am

Today, we all have embarrassing relatives.

GunToting[Redacted] September 14, 2011 at 10:09 am

Today, we all ARE embarrassing relatives.

smitallica September 14, 2011 at 9:56 am

Yes, we know that relatives of powerful Republicans never get preferential treatment from family friends in the government. Like, say, getting appointed President of the United States by the Supreme Court.

elviouslyqueer September 14, 2011 at 10:37 am

Geez, Steve. It took you 9:17 of jabbering to make it clear that you hate the nigger currently occupying the White House? Have you no brevity, sir?

KenLayIsAlive September 14, 2011 at 9:46 pm

It's all that political correctness.

AznMom420 September 14, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Congressman King asks a simple question, why does the law have to wait until one of these "obamas" does something wrong before he can pack them up into a crate and ship them back to the dark urban rhythmic continent they came from?

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