Bachmann’s Insane Vaccine Claim Is Too Insane, Say Other Insane People

  should we even qualify this as a 'funny picture?'

We hope the Internet dies a rapid death.Welcome to the seventh dimension, humans: even Satan’s pet horned toad Rush Limbaugh thinks Michele Bachmann’s ludicrous claim that the Gardasil HPV vaccine causes girls to “suffer mental retardation” is off-the-reservation insane.

Rush Limbaugh told his cult army of brainless followers that Michele Bachmann “jumped the shark” on the vaccination thing, whatever the hell that means, but we thought this special instance of the batshit Insane calling another portion of the Insane even more radically Insane than usual contrasted nicely with this super self-serious piece from THE POLITICO hopefully declaring Michele Bachmann’s rank lunacy THE NEXT BIG THING in political comebacks:

GOP consultant Mike Murphy said Bachmann came alive.

“I think she showed some life and proved that Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank,” Murphy said.

Many of the next-day debate reviews agreed that Bachmann came out of the debate with a new lease on life.

“Bachmann was better than last time and showed she’s not going to quietly fade away,” National Review editor Rich Lowry wrote. Power Line declared that Bachmann “clobbered Rick Perry.” ABC News proclaimed her the winner of the debate, recapturing the spotlight and connecting with the tea party audience.

Terrifying photo of Marcus Bachmann using his favorite Weeping Jesus sex pose on his wife courtesy of the most terrifying corner of the Internet, Twitter. [The Hill/Politico/Twitter]

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188 comments

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Eye gouging, beer goggles, it all boils down to the same thing. ERASE IMAGE!

          Or perhaps I should say "Ecrasez l'infame!" Same thing, right?

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        Oh, so now Sean Hannity is ass-fucking One-L? Great. I'm'a have nightmares all week. Thanks, Lascaux.

  1. V572 T-Blow

    Like that's ever happened — what it is that the picture seems to show. Or maybe neither one of them knows it's sinful to do with your clothes on, or talk during "the process."

    1. outragedcitizen

      If he closed his eyes, uses the upper most orifice he might be able to pretend his way though it. Besides, from that angle she might actually look like a long haired guy, she is getting a bit long in the tooth.

  2. Barb

    Kirsten, if you really don't know what "jump the shark" means:
    On the show "Happy Days" they started to run out of story lines and the show started to ubersuck. They had Fonzie jump a shark in a cage on water skis. Once that happened, everything imploded.

    1. riverside68

      The show had been imploding for quite a while, the ubersuck was strong in that one.

      Moving down home Brooklyn Bad Boy Fonzie to California, Southern district, was the figurative jumping of the shark. When he went water skiing, which is something no one in Brooklyn would admit to, and then, while water skiing, literally went up a ramp, and over a shark, a meme was born.

      1. Barb

        Pragmatist, be here tomorrow when I explain why it is a bad idea to get drunk and attempt to use one of your cat's claws as a makeshift toothpick.

        1. bflrtsplk

          Speaking of cats, our two Siamese have been introduced to our latest addition, a 10-week old Yorkshire tiny as a mite, and they're just freaking out.

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            They're gonna be bullying that poor little creature to DEFF! If the dog ever gives you that "I can haz HALPS?" look, don't leave it home alone with the cats. That is all.

        2. flamingpdog

          I was gonna make some snark about cat scratch fever, but it made me think of the Nooge, so now I have to go vomit.

    2. JustPixelz

      Apparently Kirsten is young. That's no surprise because the name Kirsten was invented in 1987 by a dyslexic inmate stamping out vanity license plates.

      But wouldn't you like to have been at the script meeting when someone said "I've got it! Fonzie waterskis." "No wait! He goes over a jump." "If you're gonna do that, you may as well have him jump over a shark. This is the episode they'll remember us for."

      1. Schmannnity

        "That's no surprise because the name Kirsten was invented in 1987 by a dyslexic inmate stamping out vanity license plates."

        Don't say that! She's a nice lady!

        1. Crank_Tango

          also, if she would like me to show her the Malacchi Crunch, I could do that. Probably. I mean sure, why not.

    3. __kth__

      It was a big Web meme circa 2003, which means Rush will move on to Lolcats sometime around Rick Perry's second inauguration.

    4. Come here a minute

      I have a hard time believing Kirsten B.J. did not know what "jump the shark" means — jumptheshark is the mother of all internet memes!

    5. BarackMyWorld

      Or maybe she was confused because Michele Bachmann isn't a TV show, and for Mr. Limbaugh to use that term to describe a person is kind of dumb.

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      That's Marcus's line.

      I'm pretty sure Michelle is a lights-off-just lift the nightgown up-&-pray-during-the-whole-3-minutes type of gal.

      1. Steverino247

        No, I think she's one of those "This is no dream. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!" kind of gals like Rosemary Woodhouse.

  3. edgydrifter

    The Kurgan wasn't about to quietly fade away, either. Maybe we should have made him president. Actually, I'll bet the National Review would agree with that.

  4. veritass

    Photoshopped. I can tell because I've seen quite a few 'chops in my time, and because the positions of Marcus and Michele are switched.

    1. Schmannnity

      improbable rock line: "you can eat your chicken, eat your pork and beans, I eat more teatard than any man ever seen."

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      Oh, christ, is "shitty pandas" some new kind of UrbanDictionary smut-talk for some disgusting sex act that I never want to hear about again? Is it anything like a cleveland steamer?

  5. Pragmatist2

    Bachmann has issued a statement in which she reveals that she herself had the vaccine and thus can testify that it makes you a retard -as well as causing migraines.

    1. DashboardBuddha

      Damn you're right! He's simulated balls deep in her and he's got a big goofy grin for that guy.

      "Heyyy…he's cute and he has a camera. I wonder…"

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      Michele doesn't *have* an "O" face, Fawkd. In fact, I'd venture to say she's never had one in her life.

  6. Catpause

    Republican Primer:

    You can say Jebus was really the son of god.
    You can say man coexisted with dinosaurs.
    You can say that slavery wasn't that bad.
    You can NEVER, NEVER, NEVER say anything bad about Big Pharma!

  7. Buckminster

    “I think she showed some life and proved that Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank,” Murphy said.

    I think Michele has some frightening pictures, this one included. *shudder*

  8. Guppy06

    Went from corndog to cornhole.

    Usually she has to put on the Boy Scout uniform to get that much attention.

  9. Geosphotos

    With your hands on your hips
    You bring your knees in tight
    But it's the pelvic thrust
    That really drives you insane
    Let's do the Time Warp again!
    Let's do the Time Warp again!
    -With apologies to Rocky Horror Picture Show, which her campaign has become.

  10. Tundra Grifter

    "Terrifying photo of Marcus Bachmann using his favorite Weeping Jesus sex pose on his wife courtesy of the most terrifying corner of the Internet, Twitter."

    It really isn't Marcus's fault – that's the only position he knows.

  11. Redhead

    Meh. Limbaugh calling her out on insanity isn't that big of a deal.

    Now, if he'd called her out on her pill habit – THAT would be a big deal.

  12. Wonderthing

    "I hope she gets re-elected. She's been a great President and the relocation camps are like hotels. The food is delicious and the beds are soft. She comes by every so often to do quality control and one time she slapped this guard who was sleeping on the job because he's there to PROTECT us and he wasn't doing his job."

    –excerpt from NIGHTMARE; The Bachmann Years, 2016

  13. donner_froh

    Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank

    Right flank, left flank–Marcus Bachmann doesn't care. If he gets that sweet Perry penis everything will be fine with him.

  14. SorosBot

    You know what those two could use? A somewhat disturbing illustrated children's book all about girls' bodies and boys' bodies.

  15. Maman

    I think that picture has blinded me. Btw, doesn't the government require that innocent girls get all kinds of shots? Innocent little boys too. That is why we all don't drop dead from measles.

  16. donner_froh

    Rush said "There's no evidence that the vaccine causes mental retardation. That's a shame."

    Rush thinks it is a shame because the incidence of mental retardation and the ratings of his show can be graphed with the same line.

  17. Come here a minute

    Michele Bachmann may think that all teenage girls should suffer for finding pleasure in sexual activity, but she should also remember that AIDS is not over, and, in the unlikely event, she should use protection with Marcus.

  18. BarackMyWorld

    Come on, people! That position obviously makes it easier for Marcus to pretend he's nailing some dude instead.

  19. HistoriCat

    So Rush finally has something bad to say about a Republican and it's because of a vaccine? I guess Merck made a phone call and got that going – it's one thing to deal with idiotic losers like Jenny McCarthy who are paranoid about vaccines … but if the 26%ers start worrying about vaccines, pharmaceutical companies could be in real trouble. And we already know those whack jobs will believe anything Rushbo tells them.

  20. Rotundo_

    Rusty just has lumber for Perry. Mittens is his fall back, the last person he wants in office is Michele, she would *actually* find a way to ban abortion, inflict forced prayer in school and make anything other than procreational christian married sex illegal. This would destroy all the republican wedge issues and destroy the party outright.

  21. Flat_Earther

    Picture Caption: This is how Bruce did me last night!

    BTW, Marcus looks more like a catcher rather than a pitcher. Can a fella get a reach around?

  22. lamorenabruja

    Dear Gay Men Who May See The Above Photo:
    Please do be careful not to roll your eyes so far back into your head that they stay there, indefinitely.

    Also, my vagina just fell apart. Thanks, KBJ.

  23. labman57

    Whether or not you agree with Perry’s decision to mandate inoculations, and regardless of whether Perry was motivated primarily by his concern for the health of young girls or his desire to bring a huge contract to his pharmaceutical buddies — Bachmann is once again displaying a complete disregard for sound reasoning and a profound ignorance about the process of science.

    Bachmann hears “stuff” from her neighbors, reads “stuff” on a blog site, and runs with it without investigating the veracity of the information.  Isolated anecdotal accounts that are completely devoid of evidence establishing causal relationships have no place in the decision making process when establishing public policy.

  24. BornInATrailer

    I can see checking Wonkette this evening was a mistake. Time to go start a bath and plug in a toaster.

  25. KeepFnThatChicken

    Two things: I see this photo as proof that Marcus prefers cornholing.

    Second, and a little OT: Did Michele forget how many children she had last night?

  26. ttommyunger

    Well thanks a lot Wonkette! I was going to have a fap-fest tonight but after seeing that pix I'll be lucky to be able to FIND my dick for a week.

  27. mavenmaven

    What is particularly dangerous about her use of anything she can to get attention, is that the kids of many of her followers may be at risk of HPV and cervical cancer as a result of her bulls@#$%.

  28. Negropolis

    “Bachmann was better than last time and showed she’s not going to quietly fade away,” National Review editor Rich Lowry wrote.

    Howler monkey imitator Sarah Palin has yet to fade away; doesn't make her any more relevant than she was. You can fade whilst screeching or fade whilst silent. It don't matter none.

  29. jmarsh04

    During last night's debate, Rick Perry said, in response to Michele Bachmann's accusations of taking money from Merck in exchange for making the Gardasil vaccine mandatory, "If you're saying I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended."

    It sure would have been refreshing if he said, ""If you're saying I can be bought, I'm offended."

    But he didn't.

    1. flamingpdog

      It would have been even more refreshing if he had said, "If you're saying I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended. I'll let you know it takes at least $50,000 dollars to buy me off, little missy."

  30. PuckStopsHere

    How'd they get 32 kids or whatever in the hell it is? (S'kay, Shel, I have a hard time remembering myself.) He's FUCKING HER IN THE ASS! Am I the only one seeing this?

  31. tcaalaw

    Dear Wonkette, please find attached an invoice for the full frontal lobotomy that I will be undergoing tomorrow. The doctors have advised me that it is the only procedure short of death that might remove this image from my mind. Please pay promptly, as I would hate for the doctor to stop halfway through the process.

  32. Billmatic

    “If you’re saying that I can be bought for $5,000, I’m offended,” Perry responded. "It takes a whole lot more than $5,000! Who do you think I am??"

  33. glamourdammerung

    Again, for someone that gloats about being an asshole, and had to even make extra accounts to seek negative attention here, you sure seem upset about me calling you on your behavior.

  34. Neilist_Returns

    Negro, Negro, Negro: You're making it too, too easy.

    Not that this will stop me.

    Ready?

    "YURE MAMA, BRO!!!!!!"

    [And to think of the time that I wasted memorizing the Hooker translation, when such rhetorical gems were being produced locally . . . IN DA HOOD, as it were, by your confrees.]

    Neilist
    Wonkette's Inventive Invective & Center Fire Pistol Desk
    To paraphrae, yet again, The Bard: "Make it a word and a blow . . . say, a 158 grain .357 Magnum blow — the American classic, not like that Communist Liberal Pinko SKum 9mm nonsense."

  35. Negropolis

    "YURE MAMA, BRO!!!!!!"

    Yeah, that was the joke. You're such a special little guy for noticing. Maybe, we'll let you take off your mittens, this time, when we give you your cookie reward.

    Now, why don't you go do what you are wont to do and pleasure yourself by sitting on one of your guns and blowing your fucking brains out? You know, semi-automatic-erotic asphyxiation.

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