Bachmann’s Insane Vaccine Claim Is Too Insane, Say Other Insane People

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

We hope the Internet dies a rapid death.Welcome to the seventh dimension, humans: even Satan’s pet horned toad Rush Limbaugh thinks Michele Bachmann’s ludicrous claim that the Gardasil HPV vaccine causes girls to “suffer mental retardation” is off-the-reservation insane.

Rush Limbaugh told his cult army of brainless followers that Michele Bachmann “jumped the shark” on the vaccination thing, whatever the hell that means, but we thought this special instance of the batshit Insane calling another portion of the Insane even more radically Insane than usual contrasted nicely with this super self-serious piece from THE POLITICO hopefully declaring Michele Bachmann’s rank lunacy THE NEXT BIG THING in political comebacks:

GOP consultant Mike Murphy said Bachmann came alive.

“I think she showed some life and proved that Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank,” Murphy said.

Many of the next-day debate reviews agreed that Bachmann came out of the debate with a new lease on life.

“Bachmann was better than last time and showed she’s not going to quietly fade away,” National Review editor Rich Lowry wrote. Power Line declared that Bachmann “clobbered Rick Perry.” ABC News proclaimed her the winner of the debate, recapturing the spotlight and connecting with the tea party audience.

Terrifying photo of Marcus Bachmann using his favorite Weeping Jesus sex pose on his wife courtesy of the most terrifying corner of the Internet, Twitter. [The Hill/Politico/Twitter]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 188 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] September 13, 2011 at 6:08 pm

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!!!

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Needs MOAR beerz.

BerkeleyBear September 13, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Needs moar eye gouging!

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Eye gouging, beer goggles, it all boils down to the same thing. ERASE IMAGE!

Or perhaps I should say "Ecrasez l'infame!" Same thing, right?

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:04 am

Needz moar Earl of Gloucester.

nounverb911 September 13, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Is that image from SNL's "Dick in a box" skit?

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I can assure you, that 'dick' is in no 'box.'

UW8316154 September 13, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I see what you did there.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:07 am

Nobody puts Baby in the/a corner.

Lascauxcaveman September 13, 2011 at 7:55 pm

I'm pretty sure that's a clever p-shop of Marcus' head on Sean Hannity's body.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Oh, so now Sean Hannity is ass-fucking One-L? Great. I'm'a have nightmares all week. Thanks, Lascaux.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 6:10 pm

gaaaaaaaaaah.

I have no words. The look on her face. The videotaping crowd. The Marcus-ness.

Indiepalin September 13, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I didn't think Marcus had it in him (that's what she said…)

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Oh, I'm quite certain Marcus has had it in him at one point or another.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Dammit, KenLayIsAlive, *I* was gonna say that!

Texan_Bulldog September 13, 2011 at 6:11 pm

OH.MY.GOD.

NorthStarSpanx September 13, 2011 at 10:10 pm

What is everyone talking about? they.just.got.interesting!

V572 T-Blow September 13, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Like that's ever happened — what it is that the picture seems to show. Or maybe neither one of them knows it's sinful to do with your clothes on, or talk during "the process."

Crank_Tango September 13, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I am just glad it is so blurry.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Blurry? Mebbe that picture affected you more than you realize.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

You should see the hair on his palms!

Crank_Tango September 14, 2011 at 12:55 am

It has made me blind, praise jebus.Sent from my iPhone

outragedcitizen September 14, 2011 at 7:31 am

If he closed his eyes, uses the upper most orifice he might be able to pretend his way though it. Besides, from that angle she might actually look like a long haired guy, she is getting a bit long in the tooth.

Barb September 13, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Kirsten, if you really don't know what "jump the shark" means:
On the show "Happy Days" they started to run out of story lines and the show started to ubersuck. They had Fonzie jump a shark in a cage on water skis. Once that happened, everything imploded.

riverside68 September 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm

The show had been imploding for quite a while, the ubersuck was strong in that one.

Moving down home Brooklyn Bad Boy Fonzie to California, Southern district, was the figurative jumping of the shark. When he went water skiing, which is something no one in Brooklyn would admit to, and then, while water skiing, literally went up a ramp, and over a shark, a meme was born.

Barb September 13, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Don't get me started on that "Joanie Love Chachi" shit.

DashboardBuddha September 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Marcus loves Chachi

Pragmatist2 September 13, 2011 at 6:25 pm

That's the most useful and interesting thing I have ever read on Wonkette.

Barb September 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Pragmatist, be here tomorrow when I explain why it is a bad idea to get drunk and attempt to use one of your cat's claws as a makeshift toothpick.

bflrtsplk September 13, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Speaking of cats, our two Siamese have been introduced to our latest addition, a 10-week old Yorkshire tiny as a mite, and they're just freaking out.

Barb September 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Take some pictures of the little baby Yorkie, please. I would love to see her/him.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:46 pm

They're gonna be bullying that poor little creature to DEFF! If the dog ever gives you that "I can haz HALPS?" look, don't leave it home alone with the cats. That is all.

KenLayIsAlive September 13, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Oh, that sounds good.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm

What time is this planned for, because I want to be sure I catch it.

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 1:26 am

I was gonna make some snark about cat scratch fever, but it made me think of the Nooge, so now I have to go vomit.

JustPixelz September 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Apparently Kirsten is young. That's no surprise because the name Kirsten was invented in 1987 by a dyslexic inmate stamping out vanity license plates.

But wouldn't you like to have been at the script meeting when someone said "I've got it! Fonzie waterskis." "No wait! He goes over a jump." "If you're gonna do that, you may as well have him jump over a shark. This is the episode they'll remember us for."

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

"That's no surprise because the name Kirsten was invented in 1987 by a dyslexic inmate stamping out vanity license plates."

Don't say that! She's a nice lady!

Crank_Tango September 13, 2011 at 8:03 pm

also, if she would like me to show her the Malacchi Crunch, I could do that. Probably. I mean sure, why not.

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

You can show her no. 1, but I wouldn't mind if she would (?could) show me no. 3.

JustPixelz September 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm

I love her like a TP'er loves cheese fries. She had me at "The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system…"

__kth__ September 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm

It was a big Web meme circa 2003, which means Rush will move on to Lolcats sometime around Rick Perry's second inauguration.

LettucePrey September 13, 2011 at 7:17 pm

You know what else jumped the shark? The expression "jump the shark." Like, a decade ago.

Come here a minute September 13, 2011 at 7:33 pm

I have a hard time believing Kirsten B.J. did not know what "jump the shark" means — jumptheshark is the mother of all internet memes!

Crank_Tango September 13, 2011 at 8:04 pm

I dunno, "Mr T ate my balls" was pretty sweet.

BarackMyWorld September 13, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Or maybe she was confused because Michele Bachmann isn't a TV show, and for Mr. Limbaugh to use that term to describe a person is kind of dumb.

ProudLibunatic September 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Think of it this way…
on the net, the death-baggers jump the shark daily,
last night, the death-baggers jumped the shark nationally.

glamourdammerung September 13, 2011 at 6:13 pm

You never go "full-retard".

Limeylizzie September 13, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Fuck me big boy.

Texan_Bulldog September 13, 2011 at 6:16 pm

That's Marcus's line.

I'm pretty sure Michelle is a lights-off-just lift the nightgown up-&-pray-during-the-whole-3-minutes type of gal.

Steverino247 September 13, 2011 at 6:32 pm

No, I think she's one of those "This is no dream. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!" kind of gals like Rosemary Woodhouse.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

And it turns out to just be a dream after all.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Somehow I have a hard time imagining Marcus lasting a whole three minutes.

riverside68 September 13, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I assume you are referring to:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/dildo-sex-t

(You may want the lube also)
Do I have to say NSFW? Seriously?

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:09 pm

I think you might've sent all the Wonketeers there. I can't get the site to load.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Lizzie, darling, you *never* say that to me!

Limeylizzie September 14, 2011 at 5:20 am

You never know.

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I'm preening in anticipation.

Limeylizzie September 14, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Preen away, my love!

a_pink_poodle September 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm

They could make a race of horror babies

chascates September 13, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I've had it with these back-door shenanigans.

Buzz Feedback September 14, 2011 at 12:49 am

Doh!

Barb September 13, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I bet after Marcus took that pose in the picture he ran in front of Michele, bent over and said, "my turn!"

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Trickle down reach around.

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Trickle down, reach around, pick a bale of cotton. Fixed myself.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 13, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Damn, you Schmannitized yo self!

Barb September 13, 2011 at 7:38 pm

OMG! I swear, I was thinking of that song when you posted the first comment. Hilarious!

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 7:47 pm

txs

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:21 pm

I'll bet Mishmash is quite the pegging expert.

edgydrifter September 13, 2011 at 6:19 pm

The Kurgan wasn't about to quietly fade away, either. Maybe we should have made him president. Actually, I'll bet the National Review would agree with that.

fuflans September 13, 2011 at 6:20 pm

vaccine hell. after that picture we need an antidote.

owhatever September 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Sometimes, honey, you remind me of a thirteen-year-old boy.

veritass September 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Photoshopped. I can tell because I've seen quite a few 'chops in my time, and because the positions of Marcus and Michele are switched.

genxr September 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Now she is starting to look Presidential.

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Cue the Doors' Backdoor Man!

Tundra Grifter September 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Or Clarence Carter's Christmas Classic "Back Door Santa."

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Superfreak. (I'm Rick James, bitch)

weejee September 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

And according to Madeline Kahn, "It's twue, it's twue!!!"

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

At last sweet mystery of life I have a found you.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm

E above High C, please.

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

improbable rock line: "you can eat your chicken, eat your pork and beans, I eat more teatard than any man ever seen."

mannacler September 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Wolf would have torn Michele's bony ass up.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I've never heard the Doors' version, but you ain't heard it till you heard Howlin' Wolf.

iburl September 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm

"Jailhouse Rock"

LesBontemps September 13, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Finally, Wonkette returns us to our buttsechsing roots. Huzzah!

When will we see shitty pandas again?

Come here a minute September 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm

As Marlon Brando famously said, "Get the butterstick."

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Oh, christ, is "shitty pandas" some new kind of UrbanDictionary smut-talk for some disgusting sex act that I never want to hear about again? Is it anything like a cleveland steamer?

LesBontemps September 14, 2011 at 12:48 am

Yes, yes, yes, and exactly, but involves a two-tone furry.

Pristine_ODummy September 14, 2011 at 1:02 am

I wish I hadn't asked that, now.

Steverino247 September 13, 2011 at 6:26 pm

As Barack Obama might say, "Are you in?"

Pragmatist2 September 13, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Bachmann has issued a statement in which she reveals that she herself had the vaccine and thus can testify that it makes you a retard -as well as causing migraines.

Wilcoxyz September 13, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Is Marcus giving her the injection?

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Honey, Marcus ain't never approached that woman without a cold beef injection.

hollywooddood September 13, 2011 at 6:27 pm

It looks like Marcus is doing it wrong.

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Lack of experience when there are no balls to stop his forward progress.

Schmannnity September 13, 2011 at 6:31 pm

He's on her, but he's looking at the boy in the first row.

DashboardBuddha September 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Damn you're right! He's simulated balls deep in her and he's got a big goofy grin for that guy.

"Heyyy…he's cute and he has a camera. I wonder…"

Fawkdifiknow September 13, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Is that her 0 face, or is that my imagination?

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Michele doesn't *have* an "O" face, Fawkd. In fact, I'd venture to say she's never had one in her life.

MaxNeanderthal September 14, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Looks like Marcus is fast approaching the "vinegar stroke"….

Catpause September 13, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Republican Primer:

You can say Jebus was really the son of god.
You can say man coexisted with dinosaurs.
You can say that slavery wasn't that bad.
You can NEVER, NEVER, NEVER say anything bad about Big Pharma!

Buckminster September 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm

“I think she showed some life and proved that Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank,” Murphy said.

I think Michele has some frightening pictures, this one included. *shudder*

Guppy06 September 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Went from corndog to cornhole.

Usually she has to put on the Boy Scout uniform to get that much attention.

Geosphotos September 13, 2011 at 6:38 pm

With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Let's do the Time Warp again!
-With apologies to Rocky Horror Picture Show, which her campaign has become.

Slim_Pickins September 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm

In her universe the rules of causality are suspended, so who knows?

BTWBFDIMHO September 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm

It's a remake of the raccoon does dog picture!

Tundra Grifter September 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

"Terrifying photo of Marcus Bachmann using his favorite Weeping Jesus sex pose on his wife courtesy of the most terrifying corner of the Internet, Twitter."

It really isn't Marcus's fault – that's the only position he knows.

Redhead September 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Meh. Limbaugh calling her out on insanity isn't that big of a deal.

Now, if he'd called her out on her pill habit – THAT would be a big deal.

Buckminster September 14, 2011 at 11:24 am

As in pot, meet kettle?
Oh. They're both white. Never mind.

Dr_Zoidberg September 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Thank you for the picture. It turned me asexual.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Yeah, I might have to swear off Teh Sexay permanently after that.

Wonderthing September 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm

"I hope she gets re-elected. She's been a great President and the relocation camps are like hotels. The food is delicious and the beds are soft. She comes by every so often to do quality control and one time she slapped this guard who was sleeping on the job because he's there to PROTECT us and he wasn't doing his job."

–excerpt from NIGHTMARE; The Bachmann Years, 2016

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm

This is their normal position so he doesn't have to see her lady parts.

donner_froh September 13, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Perry will have some competition in Iowa on his right flank

Right flank, left flank–Marcus Bachmann doesn't care. If he gets that sweet Perry penis everything will be fine with him.

obfuscator2 September 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm

marcus was confused when he reached around and attempted to play with the testicles.

SorosBot September 13, 2011 at 7:23 pm

You know what those two could use? A somewhat disturbing illustrated children's book all about girls' bodies and boys' bodies.

Geminisunmars September 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm

I know just where they can find one, too!

Maman September 13, 2011 at 7:25 pm

I think that picture has blinded me. Btw, doesn't the government require that innocent girls get all kinds of shots? Innocent little boys too. That is why we all don't drop dead from measles.

GregComlish September 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Ha ha! nobody's read the blurb we're all just commenting on that fabulous photo.

donner_froh September 13, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Rush said "There's no evidence that the vaccine causes mental retardation. That's a shame."

Rush thinks it is a shame because the incidence of mental retardation and the ratings of his show can be graphed with the same line.

Buckminster September 14, 2011 at 11:26 am

Rush's tenuous grasp on reality is weakening every day, judging by his radio show.

Beowoof September 13, 2011 at 7:34 pm

So they say a picture speaks a thousand words, however this one just says gag a thousand times.

natoslug September 13, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Would it be improved if Michele-one-el were wearing a ball-gag?

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Oh, GOD, yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Come here a minute September 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Michele Bachmann may think that all teenage girls should suffer for finding pleasure in sexual activity, but she should also remember that AIDS is not over, and, in the unlikely event, she should use protection with Marcus.

Buckminster September 14, 2011 at 11:26 am

Nope. AIDS is caused by leprechauns, don't you know?

MozakiBlocks September 13, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Well that picture has started me drinking again

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Hic! Say what? hic!

BarackMyWorld September 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Come on, people! That position obviously makes it easier for Marcus to pretend he's nailing some dude instead.

phlox✔ September 13, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Haha. Marcus isn't the nailer in this equation.
The very thought…

HistoriCat September 13, 2011 at 7:45 pm

So Rush finally has something bad to say about a Republican and it's because of a vaccine? I guess Merck made a phone call and got that going – it's one thing to deal with idiotic losers like Jenny McCarthy who are paranoid about vaccines … but if the 26%ers start worrying about vaccines, pharmaceutical companies could be in real trouble. And we already know those whack jobs will believe anything Rushbo tells them.

Rotundo_ September 13, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Rusty just has lumber for Perry. Mittens is his fall back, the last person he wants in office is Michele, she would *actually* find a way to ban abortion, inflict forced prayer in school and make anything other than procreational christian married sex illegal. This would destroy all the republican wedge issues and destroy the party outright.

DahBoner September 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Without the blunt Marcus, it's only Simulated Snoop Doggie style…

Flat_Earther September 13, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Picture Caption: This is how Bruce did me last night!

BTW, Marcus looks more like a catcher rather than a pitcher. Can a fella get a reach around?

johnnyzhivago September 13, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Rich Lowry is seeing those starbursts again!!!! Watch out Marcus!!!

lamorenabruja September 13, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Dear Gay Men Who May See The Above Photo:
Please do be careful not to roll your eyes so far back into your head that they stay there, indefinitely.

Also, my vagina just fell apart. Thanks, KBJ.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:27 am

Also, my vagina just fell apart.

If that lasts longer than 4 hours, you should consult a physician.

flamingpdog September 13, 2011 at 8:23 pm

GOP consultant Mike Murphy said Bachmann came alive.

Silly GOP consultant, you have the wrong singer! It was Frampton that came alive!

comrad_darkness September 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Ha ha ha ha. That picture makes my day.

ChuckieJesus September 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Blingie, or GTFO.

ThundercatHo September 13, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Based on her facial expression (assuming it's not tardive dyskinesia), he's doing it wrong.

mavenmaven September 13, 2011 at 10:22 pm

The thought of them and anything resembling lip smacking made me nauseous.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm

TARD-ive, eh? Hmmm …

labman57 September 13, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Whether or not you agree with Perry’s decision to mandate inoculations, and regardless of whether Perry was motivated primarily by his concern for the health of young girls or his desire to bring a huge contract to his pharmaceutical buddies — Bachmann is once again displaying a complete disregard for sound reasoning and a profound ignorance about the process of science.

Bachmann hears “stuff” from her neighbors, reads “stuff” on a blog site, and runs with it without investigating the veracity of the information.  Isolated anecdotal accounts that are completely devoid of evidence establishing causal relationships have no place in the decision making process when establishing public policy.

genxr September 13, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I'd hit that on national teevee while she greets potential voters.

BornInATrailer September 13, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I can see checking Wonkette this evening was a mistake. Time to go start a bath and plug in a toaster.

natoslug September 13, 2011 at 9:30 pm

No need for a toaster — just think of it as an excuse to finish the last five shots of Maker's Mark.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I feel that way every day.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Jeezus! Is Marcus ass-fucking Michele right there in front of GAWD and EVUHBAWDY?

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Two things: I see this photo as proof that Marcus prefers cornholing.

Second, and a little OT: Did Michele forget how many children she had last night?

sunmusing September 13, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I'm waiting for her head to spin around and start puking green pea soup.

DerrickWildcat September 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm

"Bachmann Comes Alive", is still the third best selling live album of all time.

gvvt September 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

And then there's this absolute GEM from Politico (I take it Ben Smith is not really quick on nuance): http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0911/Bachm

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Apparently not. Hee.

ttommyunger September 13, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Well thanks a lot Wonkette! I was going to have a fap-fest tonight but after seeing that pix I'll be lucky to be able to FIND my dick for a week.

mavenmaven September 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm

What is particularly dangerous about her use of anything she can to get attention, is that the kids of many of her followers may be at risk of HPV and cervical cancer as a result of her bulls@#$%.

Pristine_ODummy September 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Shh!! We WANT those genes outa the pool.

subsum September 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm

That's about the only way Marcus would give it to Michele: fully clothed.

BZ1 September 13, 2011 at 10:48 pm

they do this kind of thing in public?

UW8316154 September 13, 2011 at 10:52 pm

That picture, it's so awful yet so entrancing can't look away.

Uniprober September 13, 2011 at 11:13 pm

OK, so the earth is flat. Again.

ManchuCandidate September 13, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Woof woof… How much for doggy in the window?

Or "doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

Negropolis September 13, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Of course One-L Michele would be against vaccines. Obviously, she wasn't ever vaccinated against rabies.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:03 am

“Bachmann was better than last time and showed she’s not going to quietly fade away,” National Review editor Rich Lowry wrote.

Howler monkey imitator Sarah Palin has yet to fade away; doesn't make her any more relevant than she was. You can fade whilst screeching or fade whilst silent. It don't matter none.

jmarsh04 September 14, 2011 at 12:07 am

During last night's debate, Rick Perry said, in response to Michele Bachmann's accusations of taking money from Merck in exchange for making the Gardasil vaccine mandatory, "If you're saying I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended."

It sure would have been refreshing if he said, ""If you're saying I can be bought, I'm offended."

But he didn't.

flamingpdog September 14, 2011 at 1:58 am

It would have been even more refreshing if he had said, "If you're saying I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended. I'll let you know it takes at least $50,000 dollars to buy me off, little missy."

PuckStopsHere September 14, 2011 at 12:09 am

How'd they get 32 kids or whatever in the hell it is? (S'kay, Shel, I have a hard time remembering myself.) He's FUCKING HER IN THE ASS! Am I the only one seeing this?

Chet Kincaid September 14, 2011 at 12:10 am

The touch, the feel of frottage; the fabric of our lives.

Schmegeg September 14, 2011 at 12:12 am

Marcus looks real comfy with this position.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:34 am

He's only ever dreamed of being in that position. He's savoring the fantasy, obviously.

tcaalaw September 14, 2011 at 12:48 am

Dear Wonkette, please find attached an invoice for the full frontal lobotomy that I will be undergoing tomorrow. The doctors have advised me that it is the only procedure short of death that might remove this image from my mind. Please pay promptly, as I would hate for the doctor to stop halfway through the process.

HarryButtle September 14, 2011 at 1:39 am

Makin' her "O" face…

Alt text:

Fuckin' ewwwww.

LiveToServeYa September 14, 2011 at 6:36 am

That's a more flattering picture of her position on the issues than she actually has.

Smithboy September 14, 2011 at 7:37 am

They call him…BACKDOOR BACHMANN!!!!!!!

EatsBabyDingos September 14, 2011 at 9:49 am

Englebert Humperdumper Lives!

Fanniebeldora September 14, 2011 at 9:51 am

Spank dat bumper Marcus!

Terry September 14, 2011 at 9:55 am

I bet Marcus has never been in that position with Michele before in his life.

crybabyboehner September 14, 2011 at 10:16 am

See, kids? You don't need a vaccine if you keep your clothes on while you are doing "it."

Billmatic September 14, 2011 at 3:17 pm

“If you’re saying that I can be bought for $5,000, I’m offended,” Perry responded. "It takes a whole lot more than $5,000! Who do you think I am??"

MikeInMichigan September 14, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Okay, I'M SORRY, but on first glance that looks like Ted Kennedy.

I said I was SORRY!!

Porter Melmoth September 15, 2011 at 1:48 pm

That's not Marcus, that's a Kennedy!

Nostrildamus September 18, 2011 at 1:11 am

The road to the White House goes through the back door.

glamourdammerung September 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Again, for someone that gloats about being an asshole, and had to even make extra accounts to seek negative attention here, you sure seem upset about me calling you on your behavior.

Geminisunmars September 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Yes. Pups, or GTFO.

bflrtsplk September 14, 2011 at 7:11 am

I will post them as soon as I figure out how to do it. Her name is Whippette.

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 12:10 am

Your daddy's a fat, fucking whore.

Neilist_Returns September 14, 2011 at 2:07 am

Negro, Negro, Negro: You're making it too, too easy.

Not that this will stop me.

Ready?

"YURE MAMA, BRO!!!!!!"

[And to think of the time that I wasted memorizing the Hooker translation, when such rhetorical gems were being produced locally . . . IN DA HOOD, as it were, by your confrees.]

Neilist
Wonkette's Inventive Invective & Center Fire Pistol Desk
To paraphrae, yet again, The Bard: "Make it a word and a blow . . . say, a 158 grain .357 Magnum blow — the American classic, not like that Communist Liberal Pinko SKum 9mm nonsense."

Negropolis September 14, 2011 at 7:15 am

"YURE MAMA, BRO!!!!!!"

Yeah, that was the joke. You're such a special little guy for noticing. Maybe, we'll let you take off your mittens, this time, when we give you your cookie reward.

Now, why don't you go do what you are wont to do and pleasure yourself by sitting on one of your guns and blowing your fucking brains out? You know, semi-automatic-erotic asphyxiation.

elviouslyqueer September 14, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Whippette good!

Sorry. Now back to your regularly scheduled snarking.

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