You know those dirty syringes loaded with a terrible cervical cancer-preventing drug cocktail that Rick Perry was sneaking around and chucking basically nonstop at the innocent young ladies of Texas like a mad pervert on a dart-throwing spree, back in 2007? Well, Michele Bachmann has consulted her expert panel of invisible witch doctors just now, thank Jesus, and their findings are pretty much the worst thing imaginable: those injections are making girls retarded. No, really! There’s evidence! “Some lady” who may or may not exist approached Michele Bachmann right after the debate last night (this “lady,” she has very good political timing, see) and told Michele that the HPV vaccine made her daughter “suffer mental retardation thereafter.” SCIENCE LIKE THAT, IT IS IRREFUTABLE. Video after the jump.
The money quote starts at 1:05:
Looks like someone has been taking lessons from someone else we know on how to use special needs children as a political prop! [WaPo/YouTube]
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So then, how many shots has "One L" gotten?
Many. To the head.
Sorry, wishful thinking.
Those are surveyor marks
All of them, Katie.
So if she's against capitalism, is she for… socialism?
She IS wielding a Soviet weapon in that cartoon… so yes, QED.
Oh yeah! Well, the HPV vaccine turned me into a newt. But I got better.
Buuurrrn her!!
A witch!
But does she weigh the same as a duck?
The lady was just complaining about the Paultards, but Michele couldn't understand though the haze of 'migraine' drugs.
Well, at least Michele recognizes that if it involves a hollow needle, Rick Perry is for it.
She's wearing more pancake than a blind cook at the IHOP.
(in order to save the planet this comment is made of 100% recycled snark)
the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd!
Honestly who does her make up? It looks like Bisquick, egg whites and melted butter was mixed together and slopped on her face. Shelly honey, don't pick on the gays because they make you look stupid on teevee before you even open your mouth.
I think Michele is morphing into… Kitty Harris.
Dunh, dunh, duhhhh.
Needs bigger boobs, but Marcus can be the horse.
Holy crap – she's like a negative raccoon or something.
Yeah, it makes you wonder what all that concealer is concealing!
Surely someone has notified Lou Sarah by now of her
son'svictimization in this TRIG LIBELTrig's condition could be caused by diet pills: http://www.themudflats.net/2011/08/31/from-the-cu…
What?! You sayin Bristol is fat?
Science is a Democracy. You get to vote on what you think is a fact!
In Arizona we voted that dinosaurs romped in the Grand Canyon with cavemen riding on their backs. We were the first Disneyland!
I want to see a web-comic, perhaps even an animated one, featuring an ongoing series of debates between DerrickWildcat and (Wonkette's) SkoalRebel. It would be serenely, surreally funny!
Looks like someone has been taking lessons from someone else we know on how to use special needs children as a political prop!
Jenny McCarthy?
If we put a brown wig on her, give her some "sexy librarian" glasses…
Oh god. Oh god I see it now! Sarah Palin is Jenny McCarthy in disguise!
Today we are all suffering mental retardation.
Particularly if you watched the GOP debate.
That mother didn't actually say that the vaccination caused the mental retardation. That kid could have been a 'tard before the shot. It's not like it's curable, or nothing.
Every American child is born as a perfect replica of either Brad or Angelina, with Einstein's intelligence, and Mozart's musical ability, ready for their own TLC reality show. Anything that interferes with that script is SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT.
Or with the looks of George Bernard Shaw and the brains of his actress friend?
I don't know about causing mental retardation, but Michele B makes me feel like I've lost a few IQ points every time she opens her mouth.
God bless this forsaken country. Land of the 'tarded and home of the Whopper.
Can she just pray away the retardation?
I think that prayer works in the opposite direction.
A woman at a Bachmann rally has a mentally challenged daughter? Coincidence? You decide.
That depends, was it Michele's mother?
Of course it was.
If both of your parents were blue whales, chances are you aint going to the hummingbird festival.
That's what happens when your a hick and call you're father your brother.
Munchausen syndrome by political proxy.
And isn't there Fluoride in the Tjass water? No wonder they've all turned into mooselin communists.
I think we may have found Patient Zero for the idiocy virus.
You mean she wasn't hiding in the bushes to avoid any non-preapproved questions from lesbians?
Having an IQ below 52 doesn't make you special in Florida.
Or Tex-Ass either.
It is likely to make you a Republican. Maybe that was Perry's plan all along!
Or a Governor.
I wish I had extra p for that one.
Do the Palin's believe in vaccinating their unborn children?
Let them die!
YEAH!!!!!!
Go Death Baggers!!!
I've already received the email fundraising request from Ole Crazy Eyes – she was offended by this (that's the tagline – couldn't find it in the text I scanned through) so send her money.
I heard that she got a campaign contribution of drywall mud trowels from Home Depot so they can save time getting the pancake on faster. You've heard of "getting the base out" but Bachmann is leading all other candidates in "getting the base on"
Waitaminute, is this a Barb sock-puppet?!
Pretty sure exposure to Shelly causes mental retardation – just that short clip has caused me to seek medical attorneys for class action against Wonkette for airing it….
yeah but as long as her vagina isn't retarded, I don't think the GOP cares.
So we can say "retard" again? Good, how many shots has Lou S. gotten?
Maybe you can, but I can't. The Incensed Debate auto-censor is re†arded, IMO.
Anonymous Lady continues "….at which point Rick Perry executed my daughter"
Win.
Ah! Karla Faye Tucker's mother. I see. But that was Bush, or Obama, depending on which history facts you like. Okay, it was Parry.
NOT EVERYONE has a gay husband that doesn't wanna do 'em. Some people get laid and need protection…But if Michele gets the shot, will it make her less sucktarded? Like with Adderall and the hyper kids?
My kid had it and is no more or less anythingtarded than she was prior. I bet the 1 in 4 girls in their 20s with the HPV wish they'd all had it.
These are people who WANT unprotected sex to have gruesome, incurable consequences. They are against condoms because they WANT people to fear disease. They are angry about the HPV virus because that was their one constant criticism of condoms, that they were helpless before the mighty HPV virus. You see, under Bush W, there was a law that said if ya took federal money for sex ed, the only information you could give kids about contraception was the negatives, how often it didn't work. So they pounded and pounded that one fact, that condoms won't protect against HPV. Talk to any holy roller kid, they'll trot that one out right away. It twists their panties something fierce that medical science came up with an HPV vaccine.
You are absolutely correct. Sex for fun is sinful to them and you should suffer some awful outcome for sin. This belief system needs to be exposed for what it is–barbarous bullshit.
Thank you. That explains it. I wondered how this vaccine became evil overnight. But I'm not crazy enough to think this stuff up and I try to stay in a fundie-free zone (a full-time job in Arizona), so I was unaware.
Former employee of mine (Texas gal, no health insurance, ever in her life) age 23, history of STDs in her teen years, is currently in the hospital w/cervical cancer.
I guess her (mostly absent) parents were afraid she'd become the R-word, rather than just not very smart.
And I suppose a purity ring was supposed to prevent that. Weeping Mother Mary on toast.
Hey ladies.
I run a clinic where you can pray-away Human papillomavirus. FREE BREAST EXAMS ON YOUR FIRST VISIT!
Only the first? I think you should be dilgent about follow-up care, and make regular 6-month appointments. And get some pointers from Marcus — he'll show you how to collect federal dollars while you're at it.
You know it's amazing how many 18-27 year old chicks with sweet racks need follow-up care. But hey I'm a medical professional. Ron Paul certified my practice.
And Rand Paul gave you eyeglasses so you can see them better, no?
I prefer brail.
You should add bikini waxing to your service line.
I thought Jenny McCarthy had the market cornered on this stupidity.
I know, right? The anti-vaccine movement isn't Bible humpers; they're mostly high-income, hippie Oregon earth mother types who think that vaccines are part of some government conspiracy to brain-control their chilrrun. Also.
It's ironic, because ignoring science used to be a registered fundie trademark. Nowadays, any trustafarian who resents bureaucracy or legal authority can just blow off medical textbooks and make up their own internet-fueled urban legends for the sake of personal free-dumb. Who cares if my kid gets polio or cancer or whatever; as long as the gubmint didn't force me to prevent it!
Apologies for the lack of snark.
Now take it easy on the Oregon earth-mother hippie types…and our lumber dykes too.
Whoops, I didn't intend a sloppy generalization. There's an excellent PBS: Frontline documentary on the vaccine debate… let's just say Ashland, Oregon is very prominently featured in it. And let's also say that Jenny McCarthy comes across as one of the dumbest humans on the planet.
Actually they do rely on science when it benefits their argument. They're all over the "herd immunity" concept, which they read about in Epidemiology for Dummies.
& when vaccination rates descend to 80% & less, 'herd immunity' goes out the window.
Thus, the whooping cough outbreaks that are becoming perennial in California, the frequent measles scares in my hometown of Milwaukee…
Indeed. Since 2007, because of anti-vaccination hysteria, there has been an increase in the number of vaccine-preventable illnesses and deaths in the U.S.
My favorite anecdote is the outbreak in San Diego that exposed 60 unvaccinated children to measles.
Hey, Amurrika!! Don't listen to doctors and scientists about your child's health, listen to a former Playboy pinup and a congresswoman who talks to Jesus. And fuck you, also.
Robert Kennedy Jr. and Don Imus were all caught up in the autism vaccine conspiracy many years ago. Talk about strange bedfellows.
Jenny McCarthy sais shit about stuff?!?!?! Wow! and all this time I was only paying attention to her tits. Let's see what google has to say about this….(Click)…(Click)….Search: jenny mccarthy…(Click)…Hmmm…(Click). REALLY!?!?!?! (Click)…
Back to paying to her tits.
Damn – you beat me to it.
I get all my medical advice from soft-core porn stars. Doesn't everybody?
Their advice about STDs is pretty good.
Massive Stupidity is a growth market.
Technology is amazing … I had no idea you could get your stupidity enhanced with silicone.
So girls get mental retardation and no cancer and boys don't get retardation and walk around disease ridden. That doesn't seem fair.
If the girl really is that dumb, mom should be glad she's immune to HPV.
A real tragedy when a simple purity ring could change everything, doncha know.
As long as the government doesn't regulate or test these drugs and doesn't step in to help after any conditions happen what could Michele object to?
I would think Marcus's 'pray away the gay' business is a form of 'crony' capitalism.
Is "crony" a synonym for "santorum"?
Okay, while I'll admit that I love watching one L repeatedly fire the rhetorical RPG at Perry, she does realize that Ricky's l'il Executive Order was never actually implemented, right?
Let's not sully our beautiful minds with facts, elvious…
“Some lady” who may or may not exist approached Michele Bachmann right after the debate last night…
How did One L know she wasn't a *gasp* lesbian?
~
"Right after" the debate she ran immediately over to be interviewed by Anderson Cooper. Was he the lady?
I think “Some lady” should perhaps look a little further than that vaccine as to the cause of her child's issues. "Some lady" was, in fact, at the Tea Party debate. In Florida. Nope, probably not the vaccine.
Wonder if her name is Josie the plumber.
Easy Barb. These are wingers. Maybe Hanna the Homemaker.
Well, she wouldn't actually be a plumber, doncha know?
Her name was Victoria Jackson.
Tempted to go with the easy 'Michele/must've had it' comment. But I don't think she's an idiot — just very, very evil…
Well that alt text is disappointing.
Hey, maybe she is on to something. Noone ever heard of this "Tea Party" before the HPV vaccine was approved. Come on, people, connect the dots. HPV vaccine caused the Tea Party! It caused these millions of people to "suffer mental retardation" and thererfore, being 'tards, they all became 'baggers.
Makes sense to me.
Needz moahr Glenn Beck chalkboard with "Hilter" in big letters in the center. And, of course, all branches leading to it.
Not Obama at the center?
Or is that the same thing, in Beckistan?
I don't know about causing mental retardation, but Michele B makes me feel like I've lost a few IQ points every time she opens her mouth.
Question for the audience: Should we just let her die?
Michelle…. You ARE the weakest link…. Goodbye!
If only Michele hadn't overdone it with the thirteen HPV shots to her nether regions she would be suffering from a simple case of 'mental retardation'. Alas, her addictive nature has brought on full blown 'bat-shit craziness'.
Global warming is caused by Unicorns.
"What global warming," she asked turning up the air conditioner.
Right. And AIDS is caused by leprechauns. My hairdresser told me so.
Not right now, I have a headache
Heh, you can't be a dedicated homeschooler without also being paranoid about basic immunization shots. It'd be like egg salad w/o the mayo.
May I take a moment for an off topic rant?
MY CO-WORKER IS SUCH A FUCKING MORON IT DEFIES DESCRIPTION!! SHE SAYS THAT PROGRESSIVE INS IS A NAZI ORGANIZATION…WHAT.THE.FUCK? OH, THEY SUPPORT ISLAM AND ARE ANTI-AMERICAN THAT'S WHY THEY'RE NAZI. JESUS JUMPED UP CHRIST WOMAN ARE YOU THAT FUCKING IGNORANT?? IF IT WERE NOT FOR IGNORANT LITTLE IGNORANT FUCKING DUMB FUCKS LIKE YOU WHO LINE UP BEHIND THE SHITSTAIN "HUMANS" THAT ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY WE'D BE LIVING IN A MOTHERFUCKING PARADISE RIGHT NOW.
ARRRRRRRRRGH1!!!!!
If it weren't for ignorant dumb fucks like her we might have a country that still resembled the finest in the world…Idiocracy, here we come.
Indeed. Get that gal a Brawndo, baconz!
It has what plants crave.
It's got electrolytes.
She could have saved -15% with Retrograde Asshole Insurance. They have a little piranha eating a lizard for a logo. Because everyone hates a progresssive.
So, she's saying she got her shot?
All of them, Katie!
I've heard a lot of shit about Progressive (mainly about how they are a bunch of cheap bastards when it comes to paying out claims) but that's new to me. Is it just the word Progressive that is setting her off, or is it like how Amway kept claiming P&G were Satanists based on hidden "signs" in the company logo?
Wait, I got it. Nazis hate Jews. Palestinians in particular, and Arabs in general, don't like the state of Israel/want to wipe it off the map. The overwhelming majority of these people of Muslims,. So if you don't discriminate against Muslims, you hate the Jews (never mind what the Koiran says about "people of the book" and all that shit). So you must be a Nazi.
Progressive Ins ProTip: Buy from an agent instead of online.
A Socialist Insurance Company? How do they stay in business?
And I always thought they were the biggest Capitalists in the world; you know, crooks.
There is a shred of truth in the notion that Progressive is run by a progressive: http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/peterlewi…
And as we all know, comrades, there's nothing we communist Nazis like better than Islam.
I like selling Progressive. That Snopes link makes like them even more.—
i hope you responded in ALL CAP mode.
I'd like to bust a cap if that's what you mean.
State Farm — sounds commie.
AllSTATE — same problem.
I wonder where a talking lizard with an Aussie accent places on the wingtard spectrum?
Anchor gekko! Deport immediately!
I wondered what what that bump is under Flo's wig-hat. I guess it must be a pretty big brain to keep THAT conspiracy straight.
Here is the one and perhaps only time in my life that I will be on the side of the pharmaceutical industry lawyers…. when they sue One-L for libel and defamation. And, no, I don't imagine she will be able to produce the imaginary lady who said that.
If the incidence of mental retardation among teen girls is x, there's no problem whatsoever in finding x incidence of retardation among vaccinated teen girls.
(Although, to the extent that retardation is inherited, you might find a somewhat lower incidence among the vaccinated.)
I never thought I'd see the day where a Republican candidate for President is in agreement with the Huffington Post. Of course, she's in agreement over a batshit insane conspiracy theory that's been thoroughly disproven many times, and which has killed hundreds of children, so maybe it makes sense.
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Apparently, we can't say "ret_rded."
That's ret_rded.
The word now is "returded," and is used as follows: "Michelle flushed her waning intellect, but after a megaburrito, she has returded it to is pre-refudiated state.
Can't say "faggot" either. Whats the matter with those faggots, they're acting like retards.
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I used it earlier? But got same just now. Trig?
I had to go back and change a certain word in a previous comment to "the R-word."
I thought the R-word was Republican. Same thing, I guess.
My attempted comment [now redacted]:
"Ret_rded sex is the best sex. Now available cancer-free."
Lets get retarded, ya'll!
use option-t.
Re†arded seems particularly apt when discussing fundies and Xtards.
You get a "this comment has been deleted"? Lucky ducky. I just get nuttin' in my scores of consecutive deletes. As if I didn't exist. Maybe I only exist… in the Twilight Zone.
AAAAAAH!
Trucknutz! Buttsechs!
She's not "mentally handicapped" ('cuz you can't say that other word now)… she's a teenager… they just seem that way.
Well, I do admit, these people probably know it when they see it.
…and told Michele that the HPV vaccine made her daughter "suffer mental retardation thereafter."
To which Sarah Palin replies, "And this is somehow bad? Use it to your career advantage."
Too.
Also.
This fellow speaks for all of us today (short and well worth playing):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL1foQKD3OI
Or, when Jeebus/weeping Santa/9-11 paintings leave you speechless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_S5cXbXe-4
I honestly believe that's how they got this clip.
Okay, you know what? It probably is an example of crony capitalism. I would be surprised to find a Republican governor who doesn't practice it. All Republicans probably do practice it. Whenever a Republican runs on contracting out this or that to outside contractors, they're literally running on crony capitalism.
Oh, but this completely stupid. This is just a rehash of the even stupider belief that vaccines cause autism despite all of evidence to the contrary.
so basically, his crony capitalism caused something good? As it often does?
Michele Bachmann talking about mental retardation. Some fruit are just hanging too low to bother picking.
So I can say-
That cunt is such a moronic fuck nut…
But I can't say the "R" word… wow…
We call that the "Trig/Newell" effect, around here.
I think you can say that she loves swallowing nigger cock, as does the cocksucking bitch, Marcus, but no, you cain't be usin no "r-word". So the "r-word" has replaced the "n-word" as THE WORD that can't be said. Whoever made that rule has special needs.
So, how long before Sarah Palin goes all apeshit on her for using the "R" word?
Suddenly the GOP hates Big Pharma?
One L is willing to hate on anything that will keep her in One more news cycle, please, God. Just one more. Please."
Bachmann is a loon. There's no link between Gardisil and such an adverse event. There's no chemical in the drug that could cause such an impact (there used to be mercury in MMR vaccines, which is not good for the brain if left in the system over time, but supposedly if flushes out in 48 hours if you have a normally functioning digestive system – unclear what happens if you are chronically constipated or have urinary issues). I hate Merck for a lot of reasons, including the way Gardisil was developed and marketed, Perry's conduct in mandating the purchase of this product to prevent what are basically a horrible class of STDs was hypocritical at multiple levels, but one l is, as usual, leading the charge up stupid hill with this assertion.
Or, "leading the charge of the stupid up Mount Ignorance," you could also say.
That would imply trying to conquer Ignorance. With her, it's more like "taking the big stupid slide at Ignorance In-Door Water Park."
Sure a lot of "science" talk in there… don't go gettin' all sciency!! I heard someone else's non-fact based comment and went with that… OK?
So, if it causes retardation we can assume that Michele had the HPV vaccine, too?
So the "innocent little 11-or-12-year olds" had to get shot. What about the slutty, trampy little 11-or-12-year-olds strutting around in their short-shorts and stiletto heels? They were exempt in Rick Perry's America? No wonder She1ey's so mad!
So is Jenny McCarthy going to be HHS secretary in the Bachmann Administration?
Cancer is just girls' punishment for thinking they can have sex (or jobs or educations or lives) like the boys, instead of staying at home with 9873984729384729837492837498237498237498327489237 children and a (closeted gay) husband, like God intended. How dare you interfere with God's plan???!!!!!
Say, speaking of Bachmann: http://yfrog.com/kell3owj
If she had back hair he would be a very happy guy.
Aha! I knew it! Dildo! (And Shells is in the picture as well).
Bach Door Man! You used to have to go to Tijuana for that kind of show.
Well since the Tea Baggers claim they are neither Republicans or Democrats I am SOOOOO looking forward to the Tea Party Democratic debates.
I can't wait to see what kind of questions the Teamsters ask.
The real money quote is: "people have to draw their own conclusions" (presumably about Bachmann's mental state?? )
I don't understand how a Bachmann supporter would be able to tell whether someone else was suffering from mental retardation.
I guess it would be something like "My daughter used to be smarter than me, now she acts just like me."
Then an unidentified man jumped out of the crowd, tapped Marcus on the elbow and they quietly disappeared behind a bagger bus in the parking lot while Crazy Eyes talked about long needles being stuck in child vaginas by mad Texas doctors who don't even speak English. Typical evening on the campaign trail.
Does Kirsten look as simpering as Chicago Tribune grand
dragonpoobah, Jim Warren?The vaccine goes in….the 'tard comes out…ya just can't explain it.
Ass cancer is a Republican value.
"value" seems unnecessary in that sentence.
well at least she's responsible in her political discourse.
</snark>
this shit really pisses me off. i have a handicapped brother. no one's quite sure what caused his handicap. but my mother – yes the same mother who used to be a canadian socialist but is now a canadian practicing law in america while spouting the wall street journal editorial line – spent most of our youth fighting both the state of IL and DC to get a variety of legislative recognition and relief for the handicapped.
no one used the kids (and my brother was seriously beautiful) as props. no one sought to undermine medicine for a cheap political hit. science was considered helpful.
and no one fucking talked about fucking christianity.
fuck these people.
In Perry's defense, he got confused. He thought all state-sponsored injections of things that kill shit are cool. Injections that kill people = cool. Injections that kill super-AIDS and/or cancer = not cool.**
**Doubly "not cool" when it also promotes whorism …
So this girl's mother exposed her to the Bachmann campaign, and the girl began suffering from mental retardation?
Krazy Krony Kapitalism is what she meant.
Does Michele Bachmann know that the vaccine is administered with a syringe and not Rick Perry's member–not that I want to defend Rick Perry.
Maybe since the girl's injection she announced she is a Democrat.
Why do we need such a shot anyway? If you get cervical cancer just go down to Walgreens and have your cervix removed.
We seem to be moving into the period of history Marx never saw coming, the dictatorship of the dipshit-tariot.
So what's Michele's excuse?
I get all my scientific information from dumbazz housewives who go to Repug Tea Party campaign stops. Don't you all?
I agree with Michele. Politicians shouldn't make their money from crony capitalism. They should make it from bogus agricultural subsidies and Medicare fraud.
What bothers me is the fact that millions of Americans hang on this crazy bitch's every fucking syllable. Word!
Implants and gelding Marcus sounds reasonable enough, it's just a shame to waste perfectly good boobs on someone like Michele
I bow to your superior comment.
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