North Carolina’s unemployment rate of 10.1% is worse than the national average by a full percentage point, which interestingly also ranks them even worse than Alabama. It is basically super humiliating to rank below Alabama in anything, so North Carolina lawmakers need something to raise North Carolina’s self-esteem. What’s an easy one? “What about one of those ‘gays are a Satanic cabal of goat rapists who should never be allowed to marry according to the state constitution’ thingys?” Sure, the North Carolina Assembly will pass that one, no problem. Who’s feeling better already?
The constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage will now go to the GOP-controlled state Senate, which will probably also pass this embarrassing, paranoid piece of legislation so that voters might go to their primary polling stations and oh-so-briefly forget their terrible jobless lives, through the magic of bigotry.
From the AP:
Ten House Democrats voted with nearly all Republicans in favoring of putting on May’s primary ballot a question that would make marriage the only domestic legal union recognized in this state. The bill passed 75-42 — above the 72 needed for any constitutional change — and is now headed for debate Tuesday in the Senate. A similar three-fifths majority would be needed.
Although 30 states have gay marriage bans in their constitutions, North Carolina is the only state in the Southeast without such a marriage limit there. State law already defines marriage between a man and a woman, but amendment supporters argue traditional marriage would be better protected against potential legal challenges by same-sex couples married in six other states and the District of Columbia.
The out-of-state gays and their judicial witchery! Will a constitutional ban on same sex marriage be enough? Next up, a constitutional amendment to add the text of the Bible 24 times at the bottom, just to be sure. [AP]
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That's so gay.
Methinks they doth protest too much.
The real conundrum is what do they do if gay cousins want to marry?
Incest is best, so no worries. Even better than two descendents of steerage class Anglo-Britons marrying to procreate. Gay incest is cool, then.
If it helps any arguments, I'm pretty damn sure my family (from NC-area Carolina Province since 1705!) definitely, absolutely has some incest/cousin-marryin'. The good, God-approved straight kind, though. 'Murrica!
Count teef. If there's a set between em' then have at it froots!
Thanks. Now I have Wayne Kramer's "Count Time" stuck in my head. So. Repetitive.
Like techno punk for the AARP set.
Incest, the game the whole family can play
Incest is best… keep it in the family.
Yeah, but it could mess up their whole ecosystem there if they encourage those family trees to fork for a change.
Overkill is kind of overrated.
When in doubt, go after gay weddings.
A proven way to create jobs, since, well, I don't know… an awfully long time!
Good job getting the government out of people's personal lives there North Carolina.
This is bad news for hair salons in Raleigh.
And the trade of interior decorating.
North Carolina was also one of the states that outlawed interracial marriages until Loving v Virginia; good too see that they're determined to be on the wrong side of history yet again.
This one is bound to go down in flames as well.
Republitards are really keen on spending taxpayer money on stupid, pointless shit like this, creating doomed legislation in order to make a (moronic) statement. A fraud on the taxpayers, and a waste of time and money, from the same dumb fucks who carry on about governmental "fraud and waste".
"History" is for those elistist ejamacated snobs. NC don't need no damn history. Get 'er done, Congress!!!
Lovin' vs. Virginia? I choose lovin'!
We're still mad they made us stop our awesome eugenics program. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics_Board_of_No...
Also we're getting the DNC here in Charlotte. Wait until the Center City Grifters f&ck this up 7 ways from Sunday. It's going ot be like a Palin family reunion. Thinking about gay delegates from the DNC walking two blocks from the Bobcats arena to the NASCAR Hall of Fame gives one giggles.
The "Virginia Is For Lovers" site has a lot of races in the masthead, but still no race-mixin':
http://www.virginia.org
Dressing up like a Confederate is apparently for lovers, also.
Don't knock consistency!
That will create jobs. Well done North Carolina.
Next you could make cross burning the state's official past time.
All those unemployed are looking for something to do.
Oh, I see. Because making damn sure that gays and lesbians never get marriage protections in North Carolina is infinitely more important than actually helping a tenth of your population get back to work. Priorities!
Don't you see. Ghay Marriage is causing job loss. Job creators are a'scared to hire for fear they might catch the homo-sex-uality from gays being in a loving and monogamous relationship. It's as plain closeted cock in thier mouths.
It's Regulasantorumy Uncertainty.
Good morning, boys and girls. Can you say "miscegenation?" Sure, I thought so. Miscegenation is the abomination of two people getting married who are from different races. Jeezus told us that these people are bad, so go pass a constitutional amendment, because someday gay people may want to marry their tractors. Thank you boys and girls!
So, if you're too different (skin color) you can't get married. And if you're too much the same (gender), you can't get married. I think we need to set up the North Carolina Human Husbandry Commission to let folks know who they can marry. Sort of like the Kennel Club and the Breed Standards people do with dogs and cattle.
Take all the guesswork out of dating.
Now if they could only repeal women's suffrage and reinstate slavery, they could call it a day.
Well, as long as we're making civil rights a popularity issue, why not?
Repeal women's suffrage? If that happened, Michelle Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Christine O'Donnell, and Katherine Harris could not vote. As Jack Nicholson said in the Departed, "that's what they call a conundrum."
They shouldn't be voting. They should just shut up and sit there lookin' purty.
Fortunately, you can still "marry" out of species in North Carolina.
Squeal like a pig!
Know what else makes them feel better? A giant black dildo with silver studs on it shoved up their asses. Repeatedly.
Only when wearing two wetsuits; what do you think they are, perverts, a dildo and no wetsuits, ewww.
and asheville weeps.
There goes the staff at the Biltmore.
Right? Big chunk of the state is sane and the rest, like Virginny, has 24×7 banjo music in the background. jeebus…
…as does most of Wilmington. Hurricane from God warnings in 3…2…1…
This amendment push comes too late to save the Research Triangle.
No great loss as far as I'm concerned. The idjits we had working down there spent more time trying to take away my job (among others) than actually doing something productive…
Hey that sounds familiar.
You mean they comment on Wonkette too? Which ones are they?
Hah. In between commenting on Wonk, I actually did work (not anymore… unemployment… woo?)
They're not coworkers anymore… thank the flying spaghetti monster for that.
Sorry to hear it, but we’re the beneficiaries of your “idle” time!
So we got Carolina consultants eliminating jawbs in Canada now?
Sweet.
Oh, & where are the jobs?
Well, obviously, more police are going to have to be hired on to the Vice Squads.
You know when the righttards are feeling the heat about real issues. They go after the gehys. Next up? Guns in bars and schools!
and planes.
Traditionally, flag burning should reappear as a major crisis. Then repeated doses of abortion and Muslim fear.
The moral fabric of my straight marriage, for one, has already collapsed.
Marriage is a fantastic excuse to do some vary immoral (or at least amoral) things.
yeah my marriage didn't at all work either.
however, living in sin is going just fine for 14 years now.
Sounds like it's moral fabric was probably made in China. Needz moar lead paint.
Designed to enhance GOP turnout in 2012, this issue is very important. If it isn't passed, pretty soon men will be marrying their John Deere lawn tractors.
Now that you mention it, I am pretty hot for my weed whacker
I hope they turn 'em off and let 'em cool down before sexytime. What with the lack of affrordable health care and all.
"Designed to enhance GOP turnout"
I wonder what public sentiment in N.C. actually is on this topic… this could backfire big time, if they energize the wrong crowd.
Well, I certainly know some pissed off libruls down there. Whether there are enough of them remains to be seen.
I know it has been pushed as a turnout mover, but putting it on the primary seems counterproductive to that, since that's a base voting day anyways, in a year when a lot more conservatives will probably vote in primaries than dems, given the lack of a contested Presidential nomination on one side.
Oops, went into serious electioneering mode there – butt seks.
My sister's husband works at Cisco. She says' this measure is needed to prevent the renaming of RTP to PTP.
?
Research Triangle Park. Pink Triangle Park?
AH. Still too early here to get my Godwin on.
Having worked for outfits from RTP it is good to know it is a festive friendly place.
Always, no never, enable stp, you should design yur network properly instead.
I've asked this before, but can't US America kick out states for being too dumb?
Is America really ready for a ten star flag?
Ten stars and a maple leaf?
What do the Eastern Conference NHL All-Stars have to do with this?
Then who would be left? The United State of Vermont?
They'd have Massachusetts. And the island state of Manhattan. That's about it, unless Northern California decides to become part of Oregon.
This works for me. 4 stars and the new capital could be in Norcaoregon…Oregacnorca…whatever.
It'd be a two-part country, really. Because if you're going to take Canada in because they're "not dumb," you're going to have to leave out all those big, flat, oil-producing provinces piled up between Ontario and British Columbia. They're sort of like Texas-North.
Or, look at it like Vancouver/British Columbia is Quebec-Ontario's Kalinigrad.
Nice to see that No. Carolina has held out this long against the rampant bigotry that is the south. If it ain't them negras, or them messicans, then we best make sure we hate the fags. Fucking awesome!
Because bullies always end up on the right side of history. Or life.
OT (and too late for the debate thread)…but every time Ron Paul opens his mouth it just gives me more evidence that the teaparty is made up of hateful little me-monkeys.
http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/09/13/...
I think like gravity, evolution and the big bang, the evidence is overwhelming at this point.
Despicable hatriots.
BUILD THE FENCE NOW!!!!
That would be the fence across the Mason-Dixon line, yes?
YES!!!!!
I see it was ten Vichy Democrats who made sure the margin was wide enough to pass. I fucking hate the two-party system.
I believe the proper term is "Dixiecrat."
At least its pronounced DICK-siecrat.
Dixiecrat, Blue Dog, Conservadem, Joe Fucking Lieberman: Whatever you call the assholes, the crap is the same.
Marriage is sacred!!!! Just ask my Right wing Tea bagger EX-Wife!
(this comment is 99.95% snark free)
I hope you scrubbed it in warm water real good, baconz.
We got into a debate about the Cheney once and I was winning, to wit, she said "I make more money than you so who's right?". The jokes on her because she doesn't have a job now. She lost it because she had an affair with one of her staff. The boss brought them both in and said that they had to stop dating or get fired. She said "you can't fire me I quit" (thus the loss on Unemployment) and stormed out. HE SAID: This is just a casual affair I'll break it off. It's not worth losing my job.
I know this because I now drink beer with her EX. He's a pretty cool dude. I can see why she went out with him.
(True story).
Lemme guess. Fundie as well?
Her ma and dad are. She's a methodist (shudder).
How'd you get stuck with her?
On the record: It was an opposites attract kinda thing.
Off the record: She had a fantastic body!!! She was on the swim team and into gymnastics in college! You can flip a 1/4 on her ass.
Mrs Gingrich and Mrs Gingrich approve this message.
She's supposed to submit no matter what. Hypocrite.
And to think you would still be together if you had only dedicated more time to slapping your sweaty balls against her face repeatedly.
right on, my sanctified by god and society marriage came apart so fast folks were hit by the shrapnel.
There are 2 types of people who get a divorce. Those who want one. And those who have no other choice. Sounds like we were the latter at the time.
Kind of a mix of the two, actually. We both wanted it because if not, one of use would have wound up dead.
My favorite marriage joke: "I'm not going to get married again. I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."
Why worry about Sharia law, we already have the Christian equivilent
O.T., I am changing my name to Shoshana Hebshi.
How about putting a measure on the ballot to rename North Carolina as North Afghanistan. That would get everyone out to vote and wouldn't hurt anyone either.
Well, we can't call Oklahoma that since the state voted to never allow Sharia law although Afghanklahoma has a nice ring to it.
"Dont Carolina" might be a good name for a state that doesn't give a damn about stuff like civil rights and the Constitution.
Teatard bigots acting like teatard bigots. Good thing there's nothing else to worry about.
USA! USA! USA!
~
What about gay abortions? Will they be included in this amendment? You can't be too careful when it comes to bigotry/following the word of god. Now we need to get the biblical value of pi settled (3) (those foolish mathemeticians with their "irrational" numbers):
1 Kings 7:23 And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about. (see also 2 Chron. 4:2)
Right.
What's a cubit?
Wow, u haz teh oldz.
I haz teh album.
Me too. But it took me a minute to remember whether the reference was from Bill Cosby or Lenny Bruce (both of them big influences on my childhood.)
"Let's see…I usta know what a cubit is…"
How long can you tread water?
"Have you looked at the bottom of that ark? Who's gonna clean up the bottom of that ark?' Maybe a new jerbs program for N Stupidistan, aka Carolina.
When are they going to protect the sanctity of marriage by outlawing divorce?
even the Mooselins legalized divorce,, guess they are too liberal for teabaggers
Blasphemer! Divorce lawyers are job creators!
Divorce, hell. Just outlaw adultery, and 90% of married couples would be headed to the nearest hoosegow. Bonus: we'd have to build more prisons to hold these folks, so JERBS!
"Adultery Prison" – we're bringing Sexploitation movies back!!
Just a minute there, son…that's going too far. Marriage may be holy, but cheatin' is exciting!
As long as it's straight.
Or even if not.
But… but… can I still marry my goat?
Yes, but their cooking is really b-a-a-a-a-a-d.
But they're not bad cooked, so there's that.
Not if your goat is gay. Otherwise, no prob.
That's SOUTH Carolina. But you have to get permission from the owner first, or it gets really ugly. Or does that only apply to horses?
Only if it's your pet goat.
Well, you do intend to sex her up, don't you? You have to make a proper wife of her first.
When in doubt identify a minority begin demonizing, rally base. Lather rinse repeat
As a consequence driving out all the gays, North Carolina will end up with an even higher deficit of people with good grooming and taste.
Meh, what else is new?
The market for Barbara Streisand memorobilia will collapse.
Blah blah blah, teabagger, blah, WASPs, blah. A lot of the people out in support of this amendment are black. The Teevee news interviewed some yesterday and one woman said 'being gay is a choice' and 'this is nothing like the civil rights movement.' This is not simply a case of rich white folks controlling poor people.
Didn't these choads run on a "jerbs creation" agenda?
North Carolina: It gets better, South Carolina is crazier than us
When gay marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have gay marriage. and probably good pot. Outlaws and good pot. May all the outlaws have green grass and high tides forever.
stream of consciousness ftw
NC Divorce rate 5.4.
National average 3.1.
Nuf said about marriage in NC.
Massachusetts = 2.3
What does that divorce "rate" mean? Percent of marriages per year? I suspect the overall percentage of marriage that end in divorce would be much, much higher. In my personal case the divorce rate is 100%.
The divorce rate that is thrown around endlessly in the media ("one in two marriages ends in divorce") is a rather obvious fallacy that is nicely debunked here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.h...
Thanks Chet. Did you also know that 67.4% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
All those folks who got divorced are breathing a sigh of relief, because a whopping 100% of the marriages that don't end in divorce, end in death.
Dodged a bullet there.
You and your fancy gotcha-statistics…
While they are passing marriage laws, it seems like they should propose one that bans fathering children with bimbos while your wife is dying of Stage 4 cancer. I mean, clean up the wording a bit, but along those lines.
And MS is going to vote on whether to ban birth control.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/12/mississi...
The deep south sounds like it's going to be a real fun place…to avoid.
"God has already told us when life begins"
Hmmm….. where is that in the Bible, I wonder? A great basis for civil legislation, in any event.
Um, those voices in your head are not an invisible magic superman, but a sign that you should get professional help.
We think that God has already told us when life begins
Um, wingnuts, unless G*d texted, tweeted, left you a voicemail, or liked this on Facebook, I feel fairly certainly that She never actually told you this.
There's a real Superbowl battle going on for the title of "Dumbest dumb fuck state." If Misssissippi passes this I think the title is theirs, at least for a while. Until then, North Carolina is still in the runniing. They're happy about this.
Too bad this law came a little late to save John Edward's marriage. Blame it on the gays. He could have been the son of an interior decorator/ wedding planner in North Carolina Bizzaro World.
This will not stop girls from kissing and eating quinoa together (two girls, one granola) in Asheville.
Al-quinoa is terrist grits.
Let's see if I can whip up a little "causation/correlation" magic, like Christians tend to do:
Yesterday, North Carolina-based B of A announced 30,000 layoffs.
Today, North Carolina banned gay marriage.
I can feel the power of the Holey Spirit at work. Can you, friend? Yes, I believe you can. Praise Jesus, "a-lach-em-bach-al-not-at-at-at-al-em-heich-yal-oom-tah!"
i wonder if NC paid any state money to woo BofA to set up shop?
i know those great corporate tax breaks always end up just SO great for the actual taxpayers of the state.
Another in an increasing list of reasons to stay the fuck out of the south.
Asterisk note missing at bottom of Billboard: "At least Half of the Time."
And North Carolina cuts the $30,000 it pays to offset expenses for the Literacy Council, which is a bunch of volunteers that have the audacity to teach the illiterate to read. But they have millions to rebuild Highway 12, the Sandcastle Highway, after it is shockingly washed away again. I'm not surprised; it was a felony to teach the slave to read, and it is felonious to expect the rich to pay for their dumb road.
Barney and Gomer'll just have to make a bonfire outa all those invites.
This from a state with a town called "Fuquay Varina." Insert jokes here______.
Fuck'a Vagina? Wha?!
You can just amend the state constitution to take away someone's rights? Aging segregationist wonders why he didn't think of this.
And in a month, conservapedia will say that the state constitution has ALWAYS banned gay marriage, because it's no fun once you marry them (and they turn 18) – just ask the congressmen!
And the 2012 Democratic National Convention is in this state, why??
Marriage works.*
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Technically it is *intended* to prevent loneliness, but things don't always work out that way.
#notintendedasafactualstatement
As to the body politic that is these United States of America, North Carolina is the urethra full of kidney stones-every time they "pass" something, we all hurt.
What are they going to do when the Supreme Court overturns CA Prop 8?
[It could too happen! Ted Olsen, who's arguing the case, also argued for Chimpy in Bush v Gore, and won that awful decision.]
Say what you will about Ted Olsen (and you could say a lot) but I would rather have him on my side than opposing me in a courtroom.
Next up, a constitutional amendment to add the text of the Bible 24 times at the bottom, just to be sure.
Which part? Judge not lest Ye be judged? Love thy neighbor? People who live in glass igloos?
Why must a lowly athiest Alabama boy have a better understanding of Hate-stianity than those great NC patriots?
Everyone knows that about 97 percent of North Carolina State Legislators are actually homosexual, correct? Also, what about all of the North Carolina state legislators that gather twice a week for wild, crazy, drug- and alcohol-fueled gay sex parties that feature bondage, porn films, drugs and binge drinking? Also, everyone knows that most North Carolina state legislators regularly meet up for gay sex in gyms, parks, cars, parking lots, the State House, the State Capitol, bars, restaurants, lounges, clubs, concert halls, houses, buildings, offices and dungeons, correct? This stupid, criminal, illegal and unethical legislation is counter to the real lives of most North Carolina state legislators. There, that felt great.
Every now and then I see North Carolina in my rear view mirror and I just punch the gas pedal a little harder. (signed, a former Tarheel.)
http://www.wral.com/news/state/nccapitol/story/10...
Start watching at 1:00.
"A morning-time rally urged lawmakers to back the amendment to the stat constitution. The rally supporting the amendment dominated by black men and women who say this is not a civil rights issue."
Does that mean I wouldn't be able to continue boffing my sister in Raleigh?
i love my gay friends. i would never want them to go to NC.
30 states have the same laws? wtf?, no really, not in the metaphorical way that Miss Sarah says it…
When will all the old closed minded bigots be voted out of office? Unfortunately people like my daughter & her friends age aren't interested in politics right now or running for office.
Jesse Helms phoned in from Hell. Yeah; he says he wants his hateful rhetoric back.
So, what's ole Bev Perdue gonna do? Can she do anything?
A methodist to her madness.
Hit it and quit it, Larry!! Cain't get a wedding ring off your dick when you runnin' around with a hard-on all day!
Geez Chet – where were you when I was dating my first wife? That's the kind of advice we all need once in a while.
Trust me Chet Baconz knows that, now. Now, only a girl that turn on the snark first, then the batch.
As Grandad Baconz was fond of saying "Lessons learned hardest are learned best"
Makes me wonder why they don't make us wear the rings on our middle fingers.
Hah. No. They were my actual not busy coworkers who wasted a lot of time playing political games.
You can if you want to. A lot of marriages are like that.
Is the Canuckistani safety net for Unemployeds better than its US counterpart, I hope for your sake?
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