Tune in tonight as we liveblog, against our will, CNN’s very own amateur porn hour GOP debate edition of Wolf Blitzer trying to cop a feel off deranged hair monster Rick Perry! 8PM ET! Herman Cain will also sex 9/11, Michele Bachmann will sex the corpse of her own campaign, Rick Santorum will sex himself, Mitt Romney will sex the ghost of Tim Pawlenty, Ron Paul will just hope Rick Perry tries to sex his hand again, and everyone else will sex Wolf Blitzer after he gets in a few rounds with Perry. Hooray!
Political Wire
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Authors
Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 82 comments }
There's still stuff to debate?
They're competing to see who hates Obama the most and how awful they can make the jobs bill sound. Sadly, Rick Perry has already won the 'killed most people' competition.
Don't forget the hawt competition as to who will do the most to shut down schools and deny science in the name of Jesus.
did they actually debate anything? you know they won't tonight, either.
There's always the age old existential quandary of every religious right wingnut: "if God really existed whey would he allow hypocritical loudmouthed bigoted ethical abortions with better than average hair like us to exist?"
Well, they still haven't addressed the question of why every Goddamned one of my posts to Wonkette have been deleted, for no reason that I can see.
So there's that.
I hate reruns. When's the new tv season start?
Not soon enough.
You mean the Democratic primary debates? Oh I kid, I kid.
What, again?!
I'd rather watch an old episode of Dallas, which I loathe, or practice my cursive using my fingernails on a chalkboard.
I'd rather watch airplanes flying into buildings than this. What? Too soon?
Glenn Beck, I presume?
Y'all go on without me. I can't get drunk or stoned in front of the boy and smashing the tv or constantly yelling swear words sets a bad example. Plus, I've got an episode of "Wilfred" to watch and don't feel like blowing an aneurism.
hurray for the lamest pissing contest since your first awkward fight in the first grade.
Hey, I had awkward fights in kindergarten, and perhaps before.
first grade is when i learned i don't know how to fight. i feel your pain.
I was a lover, not a fighter, so just a lot of awkward kissing for me. And a LOT of apologizing.
no matter what age you are remember, "it's not my fault. i was drunk."
Meh…unless Michelle's head starts spinning ala Linda Blair, I'm not going to waste my time. And I don't even want to know what Rick Perry would do with that cross (I'm sticking with my Exorcist theme here).
It will be worth watching if Michele tells Perry, "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
Why? It's true.
Well, it's always a rare and memorable event when a Tea Partier says something true.
Was kinda interesting last debate, seeing Perry have a moment, followed by another moment of hesitation-lapse searching his thoughts, on the topic of climate change [denial], in which words failed him. My interpretation: enough sordid reality doses confronted him during his fly-by briefing in his home state of the wildfire damage, as extensive in scope as diminished in manageability, to give him *pause* under pressure.
Knock yourselves out. I would rather watch 7 back-to-back episodes of "Two and half Men" with Nickelback playing in the background.
They're saying She1ey's going to go after Perry tonight, and it won't be pretty. Perhaps this will be the event that triggers Palin's return.
See? Ya gotta watch!
That gives me yet another reason not to watch it. It seems like voters have already made up their minds anyway (Ricky Retardo tanked on the last debate but somehow he's now even higher one the polls). I honestly don't see the entertainment value of watching these fuckers play the let's-insult-Barry-without-actually-calling-him-a-nigger game. I'm also not half the narcissistic asshole I used to be…
what about Creed and Nickleback playing simultaneously? it could be a fun game trying to tell them apart.
"what about Creed and Nickleback playing simultaneously? "
You mean Kings of Leon?
one day i'll hear a Kings of Leon song that will make me interested enough to check them out more. i'm too young to hate most current music like i do.
What kind of a service blog is this? What channel's it going to be on?
All of them, Katie…
Haha, no… Very nearly none of them.
It's preempting Wolfie on CN²…
Ach du meine Güte, keines Wölfchen heute Abend? Das ist aber schade – er is so hübsch, nicht wahr?
Err, could you put on this uniform for me, please.
Ihr Wunsch ist mir Befehl, mein Liebling.….or…Il tuo desiderio è un ordine, il mio tesoroThe German is really kind of beatiful
Depending on your gpsing…
MNF, for all its faults, sounds like a better deal tonight. Still, let us know if/when one of them goes batshit, for the lulz.
Not are we getting more Republican debates, the rate of debates is also increasing. By Thanksgiving there won't be any distinct debates just one long, continuous Republican circle jerk.
Time to end the drinking games, while we still have a little bit of our livers left.
Someone really should do an official "Ronald Reagan" count, and then we can guess the total like a jar of the Gipper's beloved jelly beans.
It may be something approaching the old metaphor of 'the sands of the Sahara," but I'll go with a more reasonable 31415926536.
I think Rick Santorum will sex a dog. Seems about right.
"C'mere, Queenie, I won't hurt you much…."
At least his wife will get a break for the night.
Ok, this is a repost from Saturday https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510...
Who (or what) will Newt be sexing?
Wasn't tonight the night the GOP candidates were going to do Rocky Horror with Rick Perry as Frank N. Furter?
And She1ey as Magenta?
And Ron Paul as Riff Raff…
And Santorum as Columbia/Little Nell. Newtie, obvs, will be Meat Loaf.
I'm holding out for the Eyes Wide Shut themed night.
Better than Bachmann's Legs Wide Open themed night. Please, not.
Maybe…just maybe…one of them will ask him why Ricky didn't show up at his press conference about the Bastrop, Texas fires!
Bonus points:
http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2011/9/12/1756...
Aren't there about a dozen of these scheduled between now and the first primary? Kirsten, you're going to burn yourself out.
Yes, KBJ be careful of GRD – the nasty gastric reflux from watching too much of this kinda porn.
It's like a Ponzi Scheme where the currency is stupid talking points.
If idiots we're currency, the GOP could pay the deficit down to nothing by tomorrow morning.
What do you want to bet Michelle eats a live kitten just to get back into the news cycle?
No, the bastards are scheduling all these faux debates in order to tie up the White House calendar. Obama dare not address the nation about really important issues lest he look "political."
Should I postpone everything for this?
It would be funny though to see Romney and Perry in each other's faces, and then finally give into the intense physical attraction between them. Also Mitt, lose the skunk stripes.
Since Ricky Perry is the presumptive (and I mean that in the literal and figurative senses) leader in the polls, I'm thinking Mittens will stage a Soshul Sekurity Lurve Fesst and tell us about what a swell program it is and how we need to maintain it for the future and then fire magical lightning bolts into Perrys' ass and proclaim him the anti christ and all that good shit. They'll all take turns swatting at Perry and Mittens, but I suspect the heat will go in Perrys' general direction. I do hope they find the live boy and or dead girl in Rickys' closet soon so he goes back to Tejas with tail tucked firmly betwixt legs.
I have two male cats. Tonight they're going to have sex again. It's loud like Hedwig and the Angry Hairballs. I'd rather watch this rerun than the GOP olds do their thing.
Oh darn…I've started my new "write one song per week no matter how much it sucks" program. I'm afraid I'll be cuddling my guitar all evening.
I hear Newt went to an NEA-funded opera on 9/11 (yesterday) to see a performance that had nothing to do with 9/11 (Tosca). NEWT! DJOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DOOOO!!
Oh dear God, the Teatards are a-hollering like lunatics.
Probably the same Perry staffers who strategized the best way to deal with uncomfortable questions relating to the death penalty questions would be to manufacture guttural wrestling match cheering of an unholy nature.
Mitt's hair looks insane tonight , like he dyed it with shoe polish.
Wait until Perry says SS is a patriotic Ponzi scheme and everybody is happy.
What's the over/under on the 'fuck' count on this thread tonight? 100? 200?
To wit: Fuck these crazy fucks.
I KNEW there was a reason not to quit drinking tonight.
Meh. Let me know when Santorum starts tossing Perry's salad, then I might tune in. Oh, yes! He will be tossing salad!
luckily my teevee is broken…
Perry called Herman "brother" twice in his first answer.
German please and a nicely pressed SS uniform.
Will this do?
As they sing at Mouseschwitz ♪♫ Albrecht macht frei ♫♪.
A little older and more authoritarian please and heavy on the duelling scar.
Something like this?
Like this?http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_szMrFn4tHE8/SB-U3SVnm2I/AAAAAAAAAjE/YMr4YkyS3KE/s320/klemperer.jpg
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